All language subtitles for Masters of Science Fiction s01e04 The Discarded.eng

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[Stephen Hawking]
FROM THE VERY BEGINNING,

WE HAVE WONDERED
HOW LIFE BEGAN,

WHAT OUR PURPOSE IS
AND WHERE WE ARE HEADED.

WE HAVE STRUGGLED
TO UNDERSTAND TIME,

MATTER,
THE INFINITE UNIVERSE,

WHO WE ARE
AND IF WE ARE ALONE.

GREAT MINDS HAVE IMAGINED
THE MOST WONDERFUL

AND THE MOST TERRIFYING ANSWERS

TO THESE QUESTIONS.

WE INVITE YOU TO JOIN US
ON THIS GREAT EXPEDITION.

AS WE SEEK TO IMPROVE
AND REFINE OURSELVES,

TO ELEVATE HUMANKIND
TO ITS CONSUMMATE FORM,

WHAT WILL BECOME OF THOSE
WHO ARE LESS THAN PERFECT?

[playing soft jazz]

[thud, woman grunts]

[thud, woman grunts]

[thud, woman grunts]

[woman coughs]

[thud]
YOU CAN'�T GO OUT. IT'�S THE FIRST HAND.

[man] I FOLD.[woman] YOU ARE SO FULL OF IT.

[loud thud]

[man]
DO IT, SHARON. HE'�S LYIN'.

[grunts][man] PLAY THE GAME.

[Sharon] I CALL.

[man] READ '�EM AND WEEP-
FOUR KINGS.[grunts]

[Sharon] DAMN.[man] I TOLD YOU.

OHH!YOU DIDN'�T
HAVE TO LISTEN.

[Sharon] SHUFFLE THE CARDS.

[man] I CAN'�T TAKE ANYMORE.

ALL RIGHT!

WHO THE HELL'�S
GONNA CLEAN THIS GARBAGE UP

AND BLOW IT OUTTA HERE?

OKAY, OKAY. VOLUNTEERS?

ALL RIGHT, YOU-
YOU, YOU AND YOU.

YEAH, THAT'�S RIGHT,
THE DULLARD SISTERS.

GET OVER THERE.
CLEANUP ON AISLE 13.

COME ON, MOVE!

SERIOUSLY, I HAD ONE
OF THE VERY FIRST GENO-PETS.

THEY HADN'�T WORKED OUT
ALL OF THE BUGS,

SO IT SHIFTED SPECIES
DEPENDING ON MY MOOD, BUT...

[grunting]

IT WAS
A REALLY GOOD COMPANION.

[woman grunts]
I NAMED HER DOLLY,

AFTER THAT SHEEP
WITH THE BIG HOOTERS.

I MISS THAT CAT-THAT DOG-
THAT THING.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MISS?

A HEALTHY BOWEL MOVEMENT-

A REAL BIG,
ROUND COOKIE, BABY-

ONE THAT ONLY HAPPENS WHEN
YOU'�VE BEEN EATIN' REAL FOOD.

[woman] DO YOU REMEMBER
REAL FOOD?

NOT REALLY.
ONE, TWO, THREE!

[all grunt]

[man] OH![mechanical grinding]

[man] SO LONG, RIILA.

[mechanical grinding continues]

HMM. MANGO. VERY PIQUANT.

[grunting softly]

AAH! OOH!

EASY.

[moaning softly]

THANK YOU.

[breathing heavily]

I AM...

I AM EXTREMELY WHIPPED.

RIILA NEVER MANIFESTED HERSELF
FOR THE K.P. SHIFT.

ODIOUS THOUGH IT MAY BE,
I WORKED BOTH.

DO I MAKE MYSELF PELLUCID?

EIGHT DETESTABLE HOURS.

I MAY HAVE TO KILL THAT WOMAN.

YOU'�RE TOO LATE.

RIILA?

I WAS PERTURBED SHE DIDN'�T
WISH TO DO HER GARBAGE SHIFT.

[mumbles indistinctly]

WOULD YOU KINDLY BE QUIET?

NOW IT SEEMS
SHE ISTHE GARBAGE SHIFT.

FORTUITOUS I DIDN'�T
KNOCK OVER THE PLANT.

WELL, IF YOU HAD,
THERE'�D HAVE BEEN

TWO ALL-MEAT PIZZAS
FLOATIN'� OUT THERE.

AS I'�VE ALWAYS SAID, BEDZYK,
YOU'�RE A KINDLY, THOUGHTFUL MAN.

JUST PASSIN'� THE TIME

TILL IT'�S MY TURN
TO GO OUT THE GARBAGE PORT.

I AM SAMSWOPE!

NO, YOU LOATHSOME CREATURE,
IAM SAMSWOPE!

[grunts]

COME ON, BEDZYK,
IT'�S NOT THAT BAD.

[grunts]

AT THE VERY LEAST,
WE ARE STILL ALIVE.

WE'�LL FIND A LANDFALL.

WE WILL...

ALL IN THE FULLNESS OF TIME.

AH, COME ON, SAM.

BEEN TO ALL SIX TERRAFORMED
SITES IN THE SYSTEM,

SOME OF THEM MORE THAN ONCE.

IT'�S ALWAYS THE SAME-

"KEEP MOVING, SCUM.
HIT THE ROAD.

GET LOST, AND TAKE
THIS PIECE OF JUNK WITH YOU."

IF WE HAD ANY SENSE,

WE'�D FLY THIS GARBAGE SCOW
RIGHT INTO THE SUN-

AND BETTER STILL,
CRASH IT RIGHT UP THERE.

AH, YES-

INTO THE BOSOM OF
OUR SUCCORING MOTHER EARTH...

UP THERE, DOWN THERE.

WHEREVER.

ADIEU AND BIDE THEE WELL,
DEAR, SWEET RIILA.

WHAT IS SHE,
THE THIRD THIS MONTH?

THE FOURTH?

SIXTH.

SO WE'�RE DOWN TO WHAT, 96?

93.

TWO-THIRDS OF
OUR ORIGINAL LITTLE PARTY

OF DISCARDED FREAKS,
DEAD AND GONE.

IT'�S TRAGIC, JUST TRAGIC.

WE'�VE BEEN ORBITING TOO LONG.HUH.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

WHAT AM IGONNA DO?

IN SPITE OF YOUR SURLY,
ONE MIGHT EVEN VENTURE TACITURN,

NATURE, MON AMI,
YOU REMAIN AN IMPOSING

AND, WHETHER YOU
LIKE IT OR NAY,

A DE FACTO EXECUTIVE FIGURE
ABOARD THIS ENCHANTED SCOW,

THE MUTANT HORRORS OF WHICH

HOLD YOU
IN THE VERY HIGHEST ESTEEM.

AND I SUSPECT,
BENEATH YOUR SNARLS,

YOU ACTUALLY CARE
WHAT HAPPENS TO THEM.

I'�M JUST A PASSENGER, PAL-

JUST ANOTHER
STEERAGE-CLASS PASSENGER,

AND I GOT MY TICKET
TO PROVE IT.

[grunts]

I... I WANT TO GO HOME.

YEAH, ME, TOO.

I WANNA GO HOME.
I-I WANNA GO HOME.

OFF YOU GO, THEN.

[chuckles]

AH, BEDZYK,
EXIT THE MERE PASSENGER,

REPLACED BY
THE SUBLIME POET-PHILOSOPHER.

[grunts]

OH, THAT'�S WHY EVERYONE
LOOKS TO YOU, YOU KNOW.

APATHY PREVAILS HERE
ON THE GOOD SHIP "GULAG,"

A.K.A. "THE RIGGUM EXPRESS."

BUT YOU'�RE THE ONE

WHO GETS UP
AND DOES SOMETHING-

IF NOT EVERY TIME,

AT LEAST
WITH SUFFICIENT FREQUENCY

THAT YOUR NOBILITY RISES LIKE
THE ROSE MOUNTAINS OF MARS

ABOVE THE APATHY.

EVERYTHING I DO,
YOU COULD DO.

[laughs] YOU JEST, SIR.
YOU JAPE. YOU JIVE.

I LAUGH AT YOUR JACKANAPERY, SQUIRE.

NO, REALLY, YOU COULD RUN
THIS PLACE, SAM.

YOU GOT TWO HEADS.

DO YOU IN FACT KNOW-

TO VEER AWAY
FROM THE PREVIOUS BULL-PUCKY-

WHY WE CALL THE SICKNESS
THAT CONDEMNED US

TO THIS FLOATING PRISON-

WHAT WE AFFECTIONATELY REFER TO
AS "THE BLOOD POOP"-

DO YOU KNOW WHY
WE CALL IT "RIGGUM,"

AS PREVIOUS GENERATIONS
CALLED THEIRS "THE POX"

OR "YELLOW FEVER"
OR "A.I.D.S."?

I-I'�M SORRY, SAM.
I GOTTA GET SOME FRESH AIR.

YES, WELL, WE COULD ALL USE
SOME FRESH AIR.

I WANNA GO HOME.
I WANNA GO HOME...

AH, SMILER, MY OLD FRIEND.I WANNA GO HOME.
HOME. HOME. I WANNA GO HOME.

DO YOU KNOW
THE ETYMOLOGICAL BASIS

OF THE NOM DE BLOOD POOP
"RIGGUM"

FOR OUR COMMUNAL SICKNESS?

WELL, IT BEGAN

AS TRANSMUTATIONAL
BLOOD POISONING-

WILDLY STUPID
AND INACCURATE TERM,

JUST AS CHRONIC FATIGUE SYNDROME
WAS EPSTEIN-BARR,

OR MONO-LISTEN, I GOTTA GO.

NO, NO, NO. [chuckles]

THEN-THEN THEY
ABBREVIATED IT TO T.B.P.,

WHENCE CAME "TEPEE."

BUT NATIVE AMERICANS
DECRIED THAT AS RACIST,

SO THEY STARTED CALLING IT
"BLOOD MUTATION"

OR "BLOOD POOP"-

UTTERLY DISGUSTING
REDNECK TERM.

AND FINALLY,
AFTER A MILLION PEOPLE HAD IT,

THEY TOOK IT SERIOUSLY,

PARTICULARLY WHEN
THE PRESIDENT OF URUGUAY

GREW 11 EXTRA NOSES
ON THE BACK OF EACH HAND,

AND THEY CALLED THAT-
TA-DA!

THE BIRTH OF THE BLUES!

[laughs]
I'�M ONLY KIDDING.

THEY CALLED THE SICKNESS
WHAT IT REALLY IS...[whimpering]

RANDOM IDIOPATHIC
GENOMIC MUTATION-

THE ACRONYM-R.I.G.M.,
OR "RIGGUM."

NOW WASN'�T THAT
AN INFORMATIVE INTERLUDE?

[grunting softly]

PHILISTINES.

I AM FESTOONED
WITH PHILISTINES.

I WAS JUST TELLING SHARON HERE
HOW MUCH I MISS WHISPER CHIPS.

REALLY?YOU REMEMBER, DON'�T YA?

OPENING THE BAG
WITHOUT A SOUND,

THE FEEL OF
THAT FIRST LITTLE CRISP CHIP,

JUMPED RIGHT OUT OF THE BAG,

AND YOU CAUGHT IT
ON YOUR TONGUE,

AND THEN THE FUNNY
LITTLE HISS WHEN YOU BIT DOWN.

OF COURSE, I REMEMBER WHEN
CHIPS MADE A CRUNCH

AND PISSED OFF EVERYONE
AROUND YOU.YEAH. BARBARIC.

EXACTLY.EXCUSE ME.

I NEVER TASTED ANY KIND
OF CHIP AT ALL.

OH, DARLIN'�,
THE THINGS YOU'�VE MISSED-

THE POPCORN,
THE BEER-BATTERED FLURGE,

SONIC POTATOES!

[moans]

OOH.

HI, BEDZYK.

LOOKIN'� GOOD, SIS.

NOW THAT, MY FRIEND,
IS AN EYE.

SOME HELL OF AN EYE,
LET ME TELL YOU!

YEAH, THAT IS AN EYE
ONLY TO DIE FOR.

YOU COULD PLOTZ FROM AN EYE
LIKE THAT.

AH, THE TUCHIS IS
NOT EASILY DISMISSED EITHER.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THE TUCHIS?
WHAT ARE YOU, A PERVERT?

[intercom chiming]

YEAH?

BEDZYK, THAT YOU?

No, it'�s somebody else.

COME ON, WILL YOU STOP CRANKIN'�
ME? IS THAT YOU, BEDZYK?

HARMONY, THIS IS BEDZYK.
WHAT?

WE GOT A SHIP COMIN'� IN,
DEAD-ON TRAJECTORY FROM EARTH.

Yeah, so?

SO I CHECKED THE EPHEMERIS
AND THE NEW E.T.A. READOUT,

AND THERE'�S NOTHING
SUPPOSED TO BE THERE.

ALL RIGHT. SO OUR LOVING
FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS

HAVE SENT US AN UNSCHEDULED
LOAD OF TOILET PAPER.

WHY BOTHER ME WITH IT?
I'�M A TOURIST HERE MYSELF.

COME ON, BEDZYK.
THEY'�LL DOCK IN EIGHT HOURS.

WHAT THE HELL
DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?

WELL, CALL ME
IN EIGHT AND A HALF HOURS

IF YOU'�RE DESPERATE
FOR MY COMPANY.[intercom chimes]

[grunts]
I'�M GONNA TURN ON THE LIGHT.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I WANT TO TURN UP
THE LIGHT.DON'�T.

DON'�T. YOU KNOW
I DON'�T LIKE THAT.[grunts]

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN HERE
ON THE GULAG, ANNIE?YOU KNOW.

I CAN'�T REMEMBER ANYTHING.

TIME JUST RUNS TOGETHER
OUT HERE.

COME ON, HOW MANY YEARS
HAS IT BEEN?

14. I WAS 16 WHEN THEY CRASHED
THE "COVENTRY" ON CALLISTO

AND TOOK ME
TO THE SETTLEMENT.

YOU WERE A KID.

HOW LONG WERE YOU
ON THE "COVENTRY"?

I WAS, UH...

22, I THINK,

WHEN I WAS DISCARDED,

SO THAT'�D BE FIVE OR SIX,
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

DO YOU EVER WONDER
WHY YOU WERE DISCARDED, ANNIE?

YEAH.OHH.

YEAH, I DO, BUT IT'�S
THAT THING ABOUT MALTHUS.

AT LEAST, THAT'�S HOW
THEY ALWAYS EXPLAINED IT TO ME-

TOO MANY PEOPLE ON EARTH,
NO PLACE TO STAND,

THE SHEEP LOOK UP.

YEAH, THAT'�S WHAT
THEY ALWAYS SAY-

"IT'�S TOO CROWDED.
SOMEBODY'�S GOTTA GO.

WHY NOT SEND
THE INFECTED ONES?"

I DON'�T BUY IT.

SO WHAT IS IT THEN, HMM?
HMM?

YOU EVER HEAR
OF FATHER DAMIEN?

NO. WHO IS HE?

HE WASA PRIEST.
HE WORKED WITH LEPERS.

SEE, THEY USED TO SEND PEOPLE
WITH LEPROSY TO THIS ISLAND

TO DIE, OKAY?

LIKE THEY SHIPPED US UP HERE,
TO THE GULAG.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING
WITH THIS, HMM?

THE REAL REASON
THEY SENT US OUT HERE, ANNIE,

IS BECAUSE THEY CAN'�T STAND
TO LOOK AT US.

IT'�S THE UGLINESS THAT
SCARES THE HELL OUT OF '�EM,

NOT THE INFECTION.

WE'�RE JUST LIKE
THOSE LEPERS.

YOU READ TOO MUCH.

[scoffs]

LISTEN, LOVE, I'�M NO FAN
OF OUR NEIGHBORS FROM EARTH,

BUT I DON'�T THINK EVEN
THEY COULD BE THAT CRUEL TO...

NO.

TO EXILE US
WITH NO LANDFALL EVER,

JUST BECAUSE
WE REPULSE THEM.

OUT OF SIGHT,
OUT OF MIND.

AND THERE'�S
A BIG SHIP COMING IN.OH, YES.

MAYBE IT'�S GOOD NEWS.

[laughs] OH, GOOD NEWS!
YEAH, GOOD NEWS IS COMIN'�.

[laughs]
YEAH, NEXT WEEK.

MMM.

LET ME TURN UP THE LIGHTS.

NO, DON'�T.

ANNIE,
I LIKE TO LOOK AT YOU.

NO. IT'�S NOT-NO.
I...

IT'�S ME,
THIS RIDICULOUS ARM.

IT'�S NOT YOU, BEDZYK.

YOU ARE LOVELY.

[laughs]
YEAH, I'�M GORGEOUS.

REALLY.

I LOVE LOOKING AT YOU.

I JUST... I JUST HAVE...

BAGGAGE.

PLEASE.

ANNIE, ALL OVER THE SYSTEM,

PEOPLE MAKE LOVE TO EACH OTHER
WITH THE LIGHTS ON

BECAUSE THEY LIKE
TO LOOK AT EACH OTHER.

I'�LL TELL YOU WHAT-

I-I'�LL GIVE YOU $2
IN SMALL CHANGE

IF JUST ONCE...

WE COULD PRETEND
WE'�RE NORMAL.

[warping sound]

DID YOU JUST SAY "NORMAL"?

[intercom chimes]

Bedzyk?

[chimes]
YES?

It'�s Harmony Teat.

THAT SHIP IS DOCKING RIGHT NOW.
WHAT SHOULD I DO?

WHY DON'�T YOU
TAKE THAT SHIP AND-SHH.

[sighs]

HAS IT BEEN EIGHT HOURS
ALREADY, HARMONY?

SIX, SHIP TIME. I DIDN'�T
FIGURE IT SO GOOD. SORRY, BOSS.

HAVE THEY DECLARED
THEMSELVES?

GET THAT HAM-FISTED
JACKHAMMER YOU CALL AN ARM

and your fat ass
over to control now!

IT'�S AN EMISSARY YACHT
FROM EARTH CENTRAL.

[feedback whines]

WHAT'�S GOING ON?

EPHEMERIS TIME 0-0-0,

AND HE'�S SWEET.

[Smiler] NICE. VERY, VERY NICE.
NICE.COUPLED AND LOCKED IN.

[loud clang]

BAM! DID I DO A JOB,
OR DID I DO A JOB?

I'�M ONE
HELL OF A NAVIGATOR.

DID THEY HAIL US?

NOT YET. GUESS WE'�RE BEING
THROWN OUT OF HERE. YOU THINK?

YEAH, PROBABLY.

ALL RIGHT, LET'�S HAIL THEM.

ATTENTION, EARTH VESSEL.

[static]

ATTENTION, EARTH VESSEL,
DO YOU READ ME?

[static]

WHAT ARE THEY, DEAF?COULD BE.

ATTENTION, EARTH VESSEL.

LISTEN, GUYS,
SAVE YOURSELF THE EFFORT, OKAY?

WE ARE LEAVING EARTH SPACE.[static]

WHAT IS THIS?

MAYBE THEY'�RE ALL DEAD
AND PURPLE AND FULL OF MAGGOTS

IN THERE, YOU KNOW?

TONGUES HANGIN'� OUT, GUTS
SPILLIN'� OUT OF THEIR NOSES,

EYEBALLS ALL...

[Samswope]
ONE CAN ONLY HOPE.

I DON'�T GET IT.
THEY'�RE HERE.

WE KNOW THEY'�RE HERE.
WHY WON'�T THEY TALK TO US?

[crash]
THEY'�VE UNDOGGED THEIR DEBARKATION PORT

AND CYCLED OURS.
THEY'�RE BOARDING US.

[alarm blaring]

HOME. HOME.
W-W-WE'�RE GOING HOME.

ALL RIGHT, OPEN IT.

[alarm stops]

HELLO. I WAS SENT
FROM EARTH CENTRAL

TO MAKE YOU
A REALLY TERRIFIC OFFER.

[muttering indistinctly]

MY NAME'�S CURRAN,
AND YOU MUST BE THE CAPTAIN.

[all shouting at once]

I WANNA GO HOME! HOME!WHAT YEAR IS IT ON EARTH?

[Samswope] QUIET!

[clang]
ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP!

NOW YOU ALL WANTED TO GO
TO THE TERRAFORMS.

HAVE WE BEEN TO THE TERRAFORMS?[all] YES!

YOU WANTED TO GO TO EUROPA.
HAVE WE BEEN TO EUROPA?[all] YES!

HAVE WE BEEN TO MERCURY?[all] YES!

HAVE WE BEEN TO VENUS,
CALLISTO, GANYMEDE...

[all] YES! YES!

TWICE-
TWICEWE WENT TO GANYMEDE.

ALL RIGHT, THEN BACK OFF![grunts]

BACK OFF.
LET ME TALK TO THIS GUY.

I'�LL TELL YOU EVERYTHING
IN FIVE MINUTES.

OH, YES, MY CAPTAIN.

COME ON. WE CAN TALK
IN THE CATHEDRAL.

[Samswope] THE CATHEDRAL.
DROP TO YOUR KNEES AND PRAY.

REMINDS ME OF THE RAIN FORESTS
MY GRANDPARENTS SPOKE OF.

PLANTS ARE LIFE-
THE VERY AIR WE BREATHE.

THAT'�S 'CAUSE YOU BASTARDS
NEVER SENT US NEW SCRUBBERS,

AND THE ORIGINAL CRAP
THEY PUT ON THIS GARBAGE SCOW

BROKE DOWN YEARS AGO.HARMONY, MAKE SURE
WE'�RE LEFT ALONE, HUH?

ALL RIGHT,
SPEAK YOUR PIECE...

SHOVE OFF.

STOP SUCKIN'� UP OUR AIR.

I'�VE BEEN INVESTED
WITH THE MOST IMPORTANT MISSION

PEOPLE OF YOUR HOME PLANET
HAVE EVER MOUNTED.

I REPRESENT EVERY MEMBER

OF THE SANHEDRIN
OF EARTH CENTRAL.

YES, HOW PROFOUNDLY MOVING.

AND YOUR NAME IS CURRAN?

YOU CAN CALL ME BARNEY.

WELL, MR. CURRAN,
OR AMBASSADOR CURRAN,

OR PLENIPOTENTIARY
HIGH-MUCKETTY-DOODLE CURRAN,

WE PERCEIVE
YOUR VAST IMPORTANCE.

NOW JUST GET ON WITH IT.[gurgles]

CAPTAIN, COULD YOU INTRODUCE ME
TO YOUR ASSOCIATES?

[Bedzyk] OKAY, SAM.

WELL, UH,
THIS IS HARMONY TEAT.

I... UH, WEARE SAMSWOPE,

THE CAPTAIN'�S RIGHT ARM.

IAM SAMSWOPE.

LET ME SEE IF I CAN GUESS,
MR. SANHEDRIN EARTH NEIGHBOR.

YOU WANT US TO MOVE
OUR LITTLE LOAD OF MISFITS

OFF ORBIT L-5, OR WE'�LL
BLAST YOUR ASSES AWAY.

OH, NO. N-NO,
IT'�S NOT THAT AT ALL.

AND IN FACT, I DON'�T THINK
THAT ANY OF US DOWN THERE

HAVE AN IDEA OF HOW HARD
IT'�S BEEN FOR YOU PEOPLE.

WITHOUT THE LUBRICANT, HUH?
JUST SPIT IT OUT.

BEDZYK, LET HIM TALK.

YOU WERE THE CONTROL
THAT SKIMMED US IN.

LOVELY JOB-LIKE A BALLET.

HEY, CURRAN-RIGGUM.BEG YOUR PARDON?

R.I.G.M.

R...

I...

G... M.
THE BLOOD POOP.

RANDOM IDIOPATHIC
GENOMIC MUTATION.

"THE SICKNESS." THE GIFT
THAT KEEPS ON GIVING-

LIKE ANOTHER HEAD.

DO YOU THINK THAT
EARTH CENTRAL HATES YOU,

THAT WE DON'�T FEEL YOUR PAIN?

GOD, IT'�S BEEN 37 YEARS.

YOU-YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE
THAT WE FEEL THE GUILT

AND TORMENT OF WHAT THE FORMER
GENERATION DID TO YOU.

OH, THAT'�S WHY YOU NEVER
SEND GET-WELL PACKAGES

OR TOILET PAPER?

MR. BEDZYK AND I NEED TO TELL
OUR HAPPY LITTLE BAND

WHY YOU'�RE HERE, SHERIFF.

SO GO AHEAD.

UH, BY THE WAY,
I NOTICE THAT YOU'�RE

A HEALTHY, ARROW-SLIM
NORMAL LAD.

DID THEY PICK YOU PREFERENTIALLY,

TO GIVE US A LITTLE TWEAK
OF THE ANTENNAE?

AH.

[Harmony Teat] OH, GOD.

YOU'�RE ONE OF US.

THE RUNNIES.

THAT'�S HOW DARTING PRIEST WENT.
REMEMBER, BEDZYK?

AND GARY WHAT'�S-HIS-NAME,

THE ONE THAT DRANK
THE CAN OF LYE.

THEY SENT YOU TO BE A PASSENGER.
WHAT'�D YOU DO, STEAL THE YACHT?

IT'�S GETTING WORSE...
MUCH WORSE-

THE SICKNESS-RIGGUM.

BUT WHY'�D YOU COME TO US-

WHAT, TO TELL US WE WERE
GONNA HAVE TO DOUBLE-BUNK?

THEY'�RE GONNA SEND A-A COUPLE
OF HUNDRED MORE DISCARDS

UP HERE TO OUR FLOATING SWAMP?IF IT WERE THAT,
WE WOULDN'�T SEND HUNDREDS.

WE'�D SEND
HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS.

IT'�S SPREADING-CHANGING US
LIKE A TIDAL WAVE EVERY DAY.

THERE IS NO DAY HERE-
ALSO NO NIGHT.

EVERY DAY IS EVERY DAY.

SAM, LET HIM TELL IT.

AFTER THE FIRST WAVE
OF DISCARDS...

AFTER ALL OF YOU... LEFT,

IT SPREAD
FROM CONTINENT TO CONTINENT.

WE DON'�T KNOW HOW.
WE DIDN'�T KNOW THE-

THE VECTOR OF CONTAMINATION-
IF IT WAS FLEAS, TICKS,

ANIMALS, PEOPLE.

WE DIDN'�T KNOW.
BUT THERE WAS A SPRAY-

UM, GERMICIDE OR PHEROMONIC,
I DON'�T KNOW.

I'�M NOT A BIOLOGIST.
BUT THE SANHEDRIN

SPRAYED THE ENTIRE PLANET,
AND IT WORKED-

FOR ABOUT 11 YEARS.

AND THEN THE SICKNESS
MUTATED AROUND IT-

GOT STRONGER, SMARTER.
DAMN RIGGUM.

GOT EVEN TOUGHER.
THE RIGMAROLE.

SOMETHING IN THE SPRAY ITSELF
ACTIVATED A TRIGGER

IN THE NUCLEUS
OF THE PLAGUE VIRUS.

EVERYONE WAS HIT.

THERE'�S NO CHANCE TO ISOLATE IT
OR FOR QUARANTINE.

[chuckles] SO WHAT,
WE'�RE THE ONES WHO GOT OFF EASY?

IS THAT-IS THAT WHAT
YOU CAME TO TELL US?[laughs] THAT IS A BIT RICH.

IT GOT SO BAD,
PEOPLE EVACUATED THE CITIES,

STARTED LIVING
IN STERILE SHELTERS

AND DOMES UNDERGROUND.

WE THOUGHT IT WAS ALL OVER.
AND THEN A DOCTOR,

A HUNGARIAN,
CAME UP WITH A SERUM.

DO YOU HEAR WHAT HE'�S SAYING?
DON'�T YOU GET IT YET?

A CURE.

THE ONLY THING THAT
STOPS IT FROM SPREADING.

IT'�S A-IT'S A SERUM

SYNTHESIZED
FROM PREPANDEMIC ENZYMES

THAT ARE ONLY FOUND IN BLOOD,
IN... IN THE BLOOD OF...

OF DISCARDS.

OF US![all laughing]

[gasping]

ARE YOU KIDDIN'� ME?
YOU WANT OUR BLOOD!

HERE I THOUGHT I'�D LOST MY FAITH
IN THE WICKEDNESS OF MANKIND.

Y-Y-YOU WANT US TO SAVE YOU?

HEY, BARNEY-
HEY, YOU GOT A WORLD

FULL OF FREAKS UP THERE, HUH?

WHY DON'�T YOU USE THEM?
BETTER YET,

WHY DON'�T YOU POP INTO ONE
OF YOUR OWN PUKY VEINS?

HEY, YOU COULD SAVE THE WHOLE WORLD YOURSELF.
WE'�RE NO GOOD. THE SICKNESS CHANGED US.

OUR BLOOD DOESN'�T SECRETE
THE SAME ENZYMES.

WELL, THEN YOU AND THE WORLD
HAVE CRAPPED OUT,

BECAUSE I WOULDN'�T
TAKE A WHIZ ON YOU

IF THERE WERE FLAMES SHOOTING
OUT OF YOUR EYEBALLS.

IF YOU'�D LISTEN
TO MY PROPOSAL,

I THINK YOU MIGHT
WELL RECONSIDER.

IT COULD CHANGE THE LIVES
OF EVERYONE ABOARD THIS VESSEL-OH, SURE IT WILL.

IF YOU WOULD JUST LISTEN-
I'�M NOT GONNA LISTEN TO YOU.

YOU GOT NOTHING
I WANT TO LISTEN TO.

NO!

COMIN'� HOME! COMIN' HOME!

BABY JESUS-JESUS LOVES ME![Bedzyk] GRAB HIM!

HALLELUJAH, JESUS!

HALLELUJAH! I'�M GOIN' HOME!

SMILER, NO!I CANNOT WAIT!

[grunts]

I'�M GOIN' HOME!

I'�M GOIN' HOME, BABY JESUS!

AAH!

[both screaming]

[crash]

[whimpering]

[moans]

YOU WANT TO TALK
TO THE CAPTAIN?

WELL, TALK TO HER.

YOU KNOW HOW
TO USE THIS THING?

YEAH, HARMONY TAUGHT ME.

WHAT HAPPENED?

SMILER LOST IT-
TRIED TO BRING US DOWN.

TRIED TO KILL THE CATHEDRAL-

MERELY SUCCEEDED
IN KILLING HARMONY TEAT.

[man] WELL, WHERE IS HE?

CHUCHO RED'�S GOT HIM LOCKED UP
IN THE LAZARETTE.

WELL, YOU'�RE STILL HERE?

IT'�S IMPORTANT THAT I FINISH
WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY.

WELL, IF IT'�S IMPORTANT,
YOU'�D BETTER FINISH.

YOU ALL NEED TO KNOW
THAT WE CARE.

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU IS
HAPPENING TO US, ONLY FASTER.

WE'�VE WATCHED PEOPLE CHANGE
RIGHT BEFORE OUR EYES.

NO FAMILY IS UNTOUCHED.

MY WIFE...

ON BEHALF OF TERRAN CENTRAL,
IF YOU AGREE TO HELP US,

WE'�RE PREPARED
TO LET YOUR SHIP LAND

AND HOUSE ALL OF YOU ON EARTH.[all murmuring]

YOU'�LL BE HOME AGAIN.
YOU'�LL-YOU'LL BREATHE REAL AIR,

FEEL REAL LAND.

WHAT HAPPENS IF WE DECIDE
NOT TO GIVE YOU OUR BLOOD?

YEAH, THAT'�S RIGHT.
HE WANTS OUR BLOOD.

[murmuring]

YOU'�LL COME OUT HERE
AND TAKE IT ANYWAY, WON'�T YOU?

NO, OF COURSE NOT.
NO, WE'�LL SEND AN EMISSARY

TO ANOTHER SHIP, BUT I HOPE THAT WON'�T BE NECESSARY.
WHAT DO YOU THINK, WE'�RE A BUNCH OF IDIOTS?

YOU WON'�T GIVE US ANYTHING.
YES, WE WILL. I SWEAR.

OH, GOD,
YOU'�RE A LIAR, CURRAN.

YOU'�RE AN ERRAND BOY
WEARING A SAILOR SUIT.

YOU'�RE THEIR LAPDOG
WITH A BAD CASE OF THE MANGE.

YOU'�LL SAY WHATEVER IT TAKES.PLEASE.

I SUSPECT
THAT I'�M NOT ISOLATED

IN MY NAKED, DESPERATE,
PAIN-FILLED NEED

TO RETURN TO THE PLANET
OF MY YOUTH.

THIS ISN'�T HOME, BEDZYK.
WE WANT TO GO BACK TO EARTH.

ALL OF US-
WE WANT TO GO BACK HOME!

THERE IS NO EARTH!

NOT FOR US.
NOT NOW, NOT EVER.

IT'�S WHAT THESE PEOPLE DO, SAM.
THEY LIE TO GET WHAT THEY WANT.

HOW COULD IT POSSIBLY BE
TO OUR DETRIMENT, OLD FRIEND?

HE SAID WE COULD GO BACK HOME!

AND HE'�S LYING!

LET HIM SCREW AROUND WITH
SOMEBODY ELSE'�S SHIP-NOT MINE!

- "MINE"?
- GET OUT OF THE WAY.

I'�M GONNA THROW THIS LYING
PISSANT OFF THE SHIP.NO!

THEY ARE NOT GONNA LET US
GET ANY CLOSER TO EARTH!

CAN'�T YOU PATHETIC FREAKS
EVER REALIZE THAT?

YOU MUST DISABUSE YOURSELF
OF THIS PARANOIA, THIS HATRED.

SIMPLY PUT, THEY WANT WHAT IT IS
THAT ONLY WE CAN PROVIDE.

WE NEED WHAT THEY HAVE-
OUR HOME!

HOME? ARE YOU REALLY
THAT STUPID?

YOU ARE AS CLOSE TO A FRIEND
AS ANYONE I'�VE KNOWN,

AND WHETHER
YOU LIKE IT OR NOT,

I CONSIDER YOU
TO BE AN EQUAL.

I DON'�T MIND IF YOU THINK
I'�M A FOOL,

BUT DON'�T EVER TALK TO ME
AS IF YOU THINK I'�M ONE.

OH, COME ON, SAM.
YOU'�RE SMARTER THAN THIS.

THEY'�RE NOTHING BUT A BUNCH
OF BACKSTABBING, ARROGANT LIARS.

CEASE AND DESIST.

YOUR AUTHORITY
HAS BEEN SUPERSEDED,

AND YOU HAVE BEEN SUPPLANTED.

YES!

OH. [chuckles]
SO NOW WE'�RE A DEMOCRACY, EH?

YESTERDAY,
IT WAS "AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN."

TODAY "YOU'�RE SUPERSEDED."

AS DISTRESSING
AS IT MAY SEEM, YES.

HOW ABOUT YOU, ANNIE?
WHERE DO YOU STAND?

I'�M SORRY, BEDZYK.

LOOK, YOU'�RE SO ANGRY,

YOU'�RE NOT SEEING
ANY OF THIS CLEARLY.

I SEE IT REAL CLEAR.

YOU PEOPLE...

ANYTIME ANYTHING
EVER WENT WRONG,

YOU CAME RUNNIN'� FOR ME,
DIDN'�T YOU, HUH?

SOMETHING HAD TO BE DONE,
SOME DECISION HAD TO BE MADE-

"WHERE'�S BEDZYK?
GO GET BEDZYK. GET BEDZYK."

AND THIS-THIS-

THIS EARTH SCUM SHOWS UP
WITH THE RUNNIES.

HE HOLDS UP THIS BRIGHT
AND SHINY NEW LIE,

AND YOU ALL SIT UP
AND WAG YOUR TAILS.

IT IS NOT
MY MOST FERVENT WISH

TO EXPIRE
ON THIS GALACTIC LATRINE.

LISTEN TO ME. WE WILL
TAKE CARE OF ALL OF YOU.

WE HAVE HUGE PLOTS OF LAND
IN SOUTH AMERICA-

RUGGED LAND, I'�LL ADMIT-
BUT THERE'�S PLENTY OF ROOM

FOR ALL OF YOU.DON'�T LISTEN TO HIM!

NEVER TRUST AN EARTHMAN.
NEVER!

BEDZYK, SHUT UP!

ANNIE?

IT'�S WHAT WE ALL WANT, BEDZYK.

GET OFF MY SHIP!

BEDZYK, STOP!

[grunts]

[crowd gasping]

[moans]

SAM...

[Bedzyk] ANNIE...

NOW YOU'�VE DONE IT.

[moans softly]

[crying]

GET YOUR MEDICAL TEAMS UP HERE
AND START WITH THE BLOODS.

WE WISH TO GO HOME,
AMBASSADOR CURRAN.

WE WISH TO GO HOME NOW.

[crying continuing]

AH! ONCE AGAIN,

THE MANIFESTATION
OF THE VENERABLE,

IDIOM-PRECISE
DR. JANET GOLDSTEIN,

SAVIOR OF
OUR MISBEGOTTEN COMPATRIOTS

BOTH HERE AND ON EARTH.

[chuckles] SAMSWOPE.
IT'�S GOOD TO SEE YOU.

YOUR WORK HERE APPROACHES
A DENOUEMENT.

WE FINALLY HIT OUR QUOTA TODAY.

THE RESCUE VESSEL
IS ON THE WAY.

I WONDER WHO'�S MORE EXCITED-
YOUR PEOPLE OR MINE?

[laughs]

WHAT?

OH, I ADMIT, BEFORE THIS
OPERATION COMMENCED,

I FELT A FLOURISH
OF CYNICISM-

A TOUCH OF THE OLD VAMPIRE,
DON'�T YA KNOW?

[chuckles]
YOU'�VE DONE WELL, SAMSWOPE.

YOU'�VE SAVED THE WORLD,

AND YOU'�VE SAVED YOUR PEOPLE.

WE COULDN'�T HAVE DONE THIS
WITHOUT YOU,

AND NO ONE'�S
EVER GONNA FORGET THAT.

WELL, SHUCKS, DOC.

I'�LL BE SUPERAMALGAMATED.

[laughs] ARE YOU READY
TO GIVE ONE LAST TIME?

[grunts]

[crutch clanks]

[grunts]

OLD GIRLFRIEND?

COULD WE JUST FINISH THIS?

AAH!

[both grunting]

[intercom chimes]

[Annie] Samswope?

SAMSWOPE.

I HAVE AN UPDATE
ON THE RESCUE VESSEL-

E.T.A. six hours.

THANK YOU, ANNIE.

Roger that.

[intercom chimes]

YOU DON'�T SEEM
PARTICULARLY EXCITED.

AH, BUT I AM.

SIX HOURS...

THERE'�S MORE THAN ENOUGH TIME.

UH...

BARELY ENOUGH TO MASTER

ALL THE OUTLANDISH PERMUTATIONS

OF THIS CONNUBIATION CUSTOM.

STEVE'�S WEDDING?

BUT OF COURSE, MY DARLING.

THIS IS A FIRST, ISN'�T IT?TRULY.

NEVER HAPPENED WHEN BEDZYK
WAS RUNNING THINGS.

THEN AGAIN, WE DIDN'�T HAVE
MUCH TO CELEBRATE.

[moans softly]

WHAT?

IT WAS NOT MY INTENTION...

I DIDN'�T MEAN
TO KILL HIM, FRENCHY.

I SWEAR TO GOD.

HE WAS GOING
TO RUIN EVERYTHING.

YOU DID WHAT YOU HAD TO DO.

YOU GAVE US HOPE.

YOU GAVE US BACK
OUR HOME, SAM.

[soft piano jazz playing]

[laughs]

AH! [laughs]

[all laughing]

HERE WE GO.

WOW. OKAY.

JUST A LITTLE BIT RIGHT THERE.

BROTHERS AND SISTERS,

MESDAMES ET MONSIEURS,

FREAKS AND FROGS,
FLOTSAM AND JETSAM,

WE ARE AGGREGATED HERE
TO WITNESS THE TRI-BINDING

OF A TRIO OF OUR ASSEMBLY
IN HOLY MATRIMONY...

[laughs]

STEVE, SHARON, BUCKY.

IT WOULD BE REMISS OF ME
NOT TO MAKE MENTION

OF THE FACT THAT THIS MOMENT
IS WITHOUT PRECEDENT

IN THE ANNALS OF OUR ORDEAL.

[grunts]

THIS IS THE FIRST WEDDING
WE'�VE EVER HAD HERE...

[cheering]

A SYMBOL OF NEW BEGINNINGS

BESPEAKING
OUR IMMINENT DEPARTURE

FOR A HOME TO WHICH WE FEARED
WE MIGHT NEVER RETURN.

YES!

[cheers and applause]

STEVE, DO YOU TAKE
THESE OTHER TWO

TO BE
YOUR LIFELONG LOVEMATES?

I DO.

BUCKY, DO YOU TAKE
THESE OTHER TWO

TO BE
YOUR LIFELONG LOVEMATES?

I DO.

[mutters indistinctly]
SHARON, DO YOU TAKE THESE OTHER TWO

FOR YOUR
LIFELONG LOVEMATES?OKAY.

ALL OF WHICH HAVE THE MERIT
OF BEING ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS

TO THE QUERY JUST POSED.

STEVE, SHARON, BUCKY,
I HAVE THE DISTINCT PLEASURE

IN PRONOUNCING YOU MEN,
WOMEN, BISEXES, BIVALVES,

BABY-BLUE HUSBANDS
AND/OR WIVES.

[laughs]

[applause]

[thud][alarm blaring]

SAM? THEY'�RE HERE.

THEY'�RE DOCKING.

[laughing]

COME! LET US GREET THE ENGINES
OF OUR SALVATION!

[cheering]

[thud, alarm stops]

AMBASSADOR CURRAN,
WELCOME BACK.

YOU ARRIVE AT
THE MOST APPROPRIATE MOMENT.

THE VERY THOUGHT
OF OUR REPATRIATION IS...

[murmuring]

HUH?

NO!

[moaning]

NO!

NO!

OH.

[both whimpering]

[thud]

AM I SAMSWOPE?

[moaning]

SOMEBODY CLEAN THAT UP

AND BLOW IT OUT
THE GARBAGE PORT!

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