All language subtitles for The Toxic Avenger (2025) Unrated (1080p BluRay x265 10bit r00t)_Subtitles01.ENG

I didn't want any of this.

Not the...

Wait!

Wait, stop!

Fuck!
We'll get to all of that.

Just... Just relax...

Okay? Jesus.

I didn't want any of this.

Not the grief, not the illness.

Certainly not the heroic voice over.

That's not who I am.

But sometimes,
you gotta do something...

It all started
on the other side of town.

I wasn't even involved.

Okay, we've got this hysteric

on line two again.

Now, um, you're saying that
this beloved corporation

would knowingly poison
its own customers

selling unhealthy slop
just to, uh... to what?

Just to boost
their own profit margins?

Yes, that's
exactly what I'm saying.

Where's the proof?

I'm not
an expert on chemical stuff,

but I'm not an idiot either.

I can see it with my own eyes.
I can smell it in the air,

- I can feel it on my skin.
- Ah, okay, sweetheart.

Oof.

Must be a full moon.

Are you okay?

Got these fuckers now.

- Were you followed?
- Don't worry.

You taught me
how to spot a tail, right?

Where'd you get this?

BT headquarters.

Got to the 12th floor,

dug into their internal system.

That's risky.

Well, I'm not going
to the factory

if I can help it.

These bastards.

Oh, my God. You did it.

This is exactly what we need
to destroy BTH.

J.J., you've done real good.

Oh, God.

Let's go.

Go.

Come on!
I'm right here!

J.J., go!

Here we come.

Little girl!

Oh, my God. Okay, okay.

Goddamn it!

You assholes are too late!

There's nothing
you can do to me.

Motherfucker.

You dick less idiots!

Nope.

Is that all you've got,
you fucking pussies?

Halloween assholes!

- This fucking guy.
- Is that all you can do?

Fuck each of you.

You've got nothing!

Nothing.

Fucking door!

Nah. She's nobody.

Nothing at all.

Oh?

Oh, fuck,
it hurts! Jesus Christ!

Good morning.

We'd lost Shelly a year ago.

Her sweet kid, Wade, and me.

Yeah, the evil stepdad.

I still dream about her
most nights.

These days,
it's just me and the kid.

It's, uh... It's going good.

Depression,
fatigue, aches and pains,

and the malaise
of everyday life.

- Don't worry.
- Hmm.

At BTH, we've got stuff

for all that stuff and more.

Side effects notwithstanding.

Our line
of proprietary cutting-edge

bio-boosters are the way
to health, wellness,

and plain old feeling good.

I'm CEO Robert Garbinger.
But please, call me Bob.

Thank you, Bob.

Thank you, Bob.

Bonnie Dimble here, live from
New Chemistry High School

for Varsity Tournament season.

Coach Stanwyck.

What can we expect from
the Crimson Beaks this year?

New Chem is gonna nuke 'em.

Wouldn't wanna be
the Kennedy Cougars

this Saturday, huh?

Man, fuck the Cougars!

- Oh. Oh, my God...
- Fuck the Cougars!

Switching gears,
we have a special exclusive

for y'all at home now.

It's the brand-new video

from those far-out
shocker rockers

appearing this Saturday

at the St. Roma's
Fun Town Festival.

Our hometown anti-heroes,
The Killer Nutz

Roll it, Terry.

Hey, buddy.

These guys, huh?

Got everything,
got everything. Okay.

Okay, breakfast is served.
Get some.

Ah, that's just junk mail.
Uh...

Whoa! Dig the shade.
What is that?

Black Thunder?

It's so nice.

Looks really rad.

Mmm.

Um...

Looks great.

Well, I'll just scrape off
the black part.

- It's fine. It's okay.
- It's okay.

That part's pretty good.

Oh, hey, Dais.

How are you?

Please, don't hurt...

I don't wanna hurt him.

And you don't want to accept

our more than reasonable offer

for your piece of property here.

But I promise you...

you're gonna.

Okay, I'll sign.

Ah.

Common sense prevails.

I'll be back with the papers...

- tonight.
- Now give him back.

Mr. Treats!

Watch it. Whoa!

Get out of the fucking road!

What the fuck are you doing?

My bike's fucking ruined!

That motherfucker saved a cat!

The wages of sin is $12 an hour.

Are you in the...
Are you in the yellow zone?

Seems like a yellow.
It's not red, is it?

I'm not ten.

Stop with the zones.

Can you do your tapping?

I'm doing

- my tapping right now.
- Okay, okay.

What does this look like to you?

You seem flooded.

Why didn't you do anything?

You just stood there
while those khaki creeps

pushed Daisy around.

Do what?

Anything.

Oh, Wade.

Sometimes it's...

it's better to do nothing.

You know, you'll see that
when you're older.

So you're all set
for your big dance piece?

It's not a dance, okay?

It's a property movement piece.

Right, property movement piece.

No, no, no, no.
It's a very specific thing.

Well, you're gonna crush it.
I know that.

Performing's in your blood, man.

Your mom would be so proud.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The BTH employee cafeteria...

...will be closed

until further notice

due to the ongoing
clogged toilet issue. Janet.

I can't see!

Need some help over here.

Oh, God!

Somebody, help!

Hut, hut, hut, hut.

Hut, hut, hut.

Next.

Hey, Chris.

Hey, Winston.

Next.

Hello?

Mr. Gooze?

- Yeah, that's me.
- Hi, I'm calling

on behalf of
Dr. Walla's medical practice.

I'm sorry?

Well, I'm afraid I'm
looking at your test results.

Test results?

Next!

- How's Wade?
- Good, thanks.

Keeping up with
his counseling and whatnot?

Basically, yeah.

Single parents are heroes.

Single step-parents,
double heroes.

Single step-parents,

play the hand you're dealt, yep.

Uh-huh. Hang on, hang on.

So, uh, he's going out
for Share Your Gift?

Yeah. Uh,
property movement piece.

Good for him.

My twins are freshmen already.

- Can you believe that?
- Wow.

Elizabeth had her first period.

She's only 13.

- Congratulations.
- Goes by in a blink.

- So you wanted to see me?
- Right.

So, you came to us
with those headaches,

and we ran some tests.

Oh, is that me?

Oh, no, that's a healthy scan
SO you...

so you have some context.

Yeah.

This is you.

Huh! Oh, wow.

It's, uh... It's ghastly.

Yeah.

This is a very
advanced case of...

- Frontal.
- Yeah.

Pre-frontal.

...which, of course,
makes surgery impossible.

Ah, fuck me. Hmm.

How long do I have?

Best case, six months, a year.

So, a year
would be your best case.

Oh, you fucked up
real good this time.

There is a drug treatment
available for this.

It's, uh, very new
and wildly expensive,

but your insurance
will probably cover it.

Oh, fuck me. Why didn't you
tell me that first?

I should have.

Speak to an agent.

Got it.

If you are a provider,
press one.

No, no.
Speak to an agent.

Okay.

If you are a patient, press two.

- Speak to an agent!
- Got it.

If you are a provider,
press one.

Speak to an age...

Hi, Mr. Gooze.

Hi.

Okay, I see
you're on the Platinum Plan

with your BTH employee coverage.

Yes. Hmm.

Uh, that is me.

- Platinum.
- Yes.

Which excludes benefits

- covered under the Gold Plan.
- What?

I... I am Platinum.

Yeah, you have Platinum.

But like I said,

only treatments listed on
the primary tier are covered.

Secondary tier treatments
are covered,

but not if you didn't qualify
for the Admiral's Plan

unless you selected a co-tier.

I don't know what that means.

What does that mean?

- Doesn't...
- You have Platinum.

Doesn't Platinum cover the Gold?

Oh, hon.
I'm talking about tiers.

I don't know what tiers are.

Perimeter check. O contact.

Copy.
Bonnet, clear.

All teams, armor-piercing mags.

Hell yeah.

Take dictation, my dear.

A letter to the editor.

Dear fuckhead, in spite
of your dishonest newspaper's

alarmist predictions,
BTH is not on its way out.

My ideas have not run dry,

and my clothes are
most certainly not invisible,

whatever the hell that meant.

My haters have always
resorted to lies.

I took money from gangsters.

My factory is a super-polluter

because they can't accept...

...all I'm really guilty of

is wanting to help people.

But you can't create

a world-changing
health-style empire

without dealing with clowns
like you.

Hang on, let me see. Um...

I will innovate again...

Get that out of my sight,
you fucking donkey!

Yeah, I'm... I'm like
syphilis, uh, Sisyphus,

pushing his big rocks
up the hill,

and those rocks are...

perfection.

That's brilliant.

Bloody brilliant!

Oh, goddamn this thing.

Piece of shit.

It's... No, sorry, Robert,
you just press the...

I did. I read the manual.

Oh, I looked at the picture.

- The red button next to mode.
- Right, I'm pushing...

- I'm pressing that.
- Where it says "Finish."

Okay. There it is.

Well done, Robert.

Where is Fritz?

Here, Robert.

He's coming, Robert.

He just takes
that little bit longer.

Thank you, Kissy.

Okay. Uh, not that
I'm complaining necessarily.

I mean, maybe I am a little,

but it didn't exactly...

look like an accident, did it?

I mean, a harpoon?

They had to improvise.

Like jazz. Fair enough.

And the traitor?

No.

Well, maybe,
Mr. Head of Security,

hiring the rock group
you manage to handle wet works

was not the best
operational decision.

- They're not rock.
- What?

- Monster core.
- What? What?

Crazy and dangerous.

- He's just mumbling.
- Ugh.

That's all he can do.

And this viper, this betrayer,

what does she do, huh?

She sticks a knife

- into all of Body Talk's back.
- Right.

Body Talk's backs. Backs.

- Our collective back.
- What?

- Back.
- Our collective back.

Just when I'm up to my chin
in fucking IOUs

from that
bald mobster downtown...

I mean, do you realize
what's at stake here?

Everything!

I understand.

Ruthless execution.

Do I make myself clear?

As a window.

Then why am I still looking
at your fucked up puss?

Uh...

Right.

Hey.

Hey!

Koo-koo-koo.

Whoo-hoo-hoo! Come on!

Almost.

Where is she?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What the fuck?

Where the fuck is she?

Fuck! Fuck!

Fuck!

Fuck!

Yo, let's try the next place.

Hit it, we're gonna
find that bitch.

Yes! Nailed it!

There you are.

Hey, do you know
the fucking Killer Nutz?

'Cause they were just here,

and they beat the shit
out of me looking for you.

Now, when I let you
stay here off the lease,

I said,
"No weird vigilante stuff."

And I feel like
I really emphasized that part.

They won't be back.

Hey.

Hey!

- J.J.?
- Neither will I.

And what the fuck
did you do to my floor, man?

Damn.

Fuck, yeah!

Yo, babe. Yeah.

That was awesome.

Next up...

That's you.

You suck!

Duck!

Hey, hey! Uh, yeah, yeah.

Hey, Daisy, hey.

Hey, bud.

You okay?

Saw my man coming home,

thought he looked
kind of low so...

Thanks, Daisy.

Hey, sorry I couldn't
help earlier.

You got Mr. Treats.

So, how did it go?

You know, you probably
don't remember this

'cause she stopped playing shows

when you were real little,
but your mom

was an absolute killer on stage.

Oh, man, bloodbath every time.

Thing is, she couldn't
even play that good.

It was like...

But...

It was just the attitude.

You know, her presentation.

One second,
Wade, you're gonna love this!

Jackpot!

Oh, yeah!

Come on, Wade. Come here!

Wade! Oh, my God!

There are so many people
waiting for you!

Winston, no.

Whoa. Whoa, again.

Put the chair down, please.

Oh, you don't think
I know about dance?

Property movement pieces.

Here, learn this shit.

Oh, my back.

Okay, but you get the point.

Like, go throw roses,

and it's like
thunderous applause, and...

It's gonna be fantastic.

What's that?

I can show you the backspin too.

But, uh, maybe later.

You're such a good kid.

You're gonna be okay.

Hey.
I'll dance with you, baby.

Nice tutu.

Well, there's always some
flux at our level.

Right, we're all about the flux.

BT is this township's
heart's blood.

And you are BT, but...
we're concerned.

I think when we announce
our next innovation,

you will see
our intertwined fortunes

very much in ascension.

Could you give us a preview?

Well, of course, uh,
it's too soon

to go into any
of the particulars, really,

- but I think...
- Mayor Togar,

I don't know if you're familiar

with the term "game changer"?

No, I'm not.

But holy shit.

Yes,
this new product is going to

actually change, well, the game.

Okay. Look, I don't appreciate
being buttonholed like this.

Worried about being seen with
disreputable underworld types?

So, what do you want?

For you to be reminded...

who bought your seat

at the big boy table over there.

Who bankrolled you
and your fuck headed company.

Thad.

You know I'm grateful.

Don't tell me that shit.
Show me.

All right, you know,
there's always some flux...

Fuck flux!
Think of something! You owe!

People ain't
buying your snake oil anymore?

Too many tumors
and bloody stools?

I don't give a shit, bozo.

'Cause you owe.

And it'll be nothing for me

to fuck you
and everyone you love

in the most sandy

- and unnatural ways.
- Whoa. Now...

Nobody calls me bozo anymore.

You're reminded.

Business builder.

Man of impeccable style.

The Citizen Shepherd Award.

Bob! Bob! Bob!

Bob! Bob! Bob!

Bob! Bob! Bob!

Bob! Bob! Bob!

Bob! Bob! Bob!

Bob! Bob! Bob!

The whole idea
of an award, it's...

it's just not why we do
what we do, right?

But as a focal tool,
it is useful.

- Excuse me?
- Fear for my life.

Cool. It's cool, it's cool.

You gotta chill
with that firearm shit.

It's not that kind of evening.

Yes, sir.

Sorry. Sorry, sorry.

I'm really sorry
to interrupt you

on your special night

- with all your pretty friends.
- Wait, what?

Um, but my name
is Winston Gooze,

and I have been
working for you for 13 years,

and I think I do
a pretty good job.

My reviews are exceeds, meets,
and meets exceeds.

You know, so...

The point is, I'm sick, sir.

And BT insurance won't help.

Oh, man, I'm sorry to hear that.

I mean,
our plans are pretty robust,

but what can I do for you?

I don't know. I thought you'd
maybe just talk to your people

and, on my behalf
and I wouldn't ask but...

I've got a kid.

And he already lost his mom.

Can I just ask you
a little question?

What is it you...
you do for us?

Hygiene services.

Mop shop, what what.

- Mop shop.
- What what.

- Yeah.
- I think I got

- a responsibility, don't 1?
- Right. Yeah.

Don't worry.

We're gonna
sort this out, my man.

I don't know what to say.

My assistant, Miss Sturnevan,

she'll just get
some details from you, okay?

- Associate.
- Whoa.

Shall we?

This way, and I'll just...
We'll chat some things?

Oh, God, I'm so sorry. Yeah.

Thank you. You rule.

Yeah, I guess I kind of do.

- Oh, this way, Mr. Gooze.
- Oh, okay.

I'll be back shortly
with your vouchers.

- And the Bellini.
- Oh, you betcha.

Oh, shit. Shit.

Miss Sturnevan. Hello?

Ah, there you are.

Is he gone?
The world's saddest janitor.

I mean, the brass neck
on that one.

Listen, fire him, rehire him,

and fire him again.

Jesus Christ.
Mop shop.

Open.

Summon the Nutz.

Okay. Summoning the Nutz.

Get the sample.
Get the fuck out.

Get the sample.
Get the fuck out.

Okay, okay, okay.

Come on.

Okay, come on, now.

Trash run.

What's with the rubber mask?

This is a fucking robbery!

Sorry, man.

I don't want to fucking hear it.

I thought you were
one of the good guys.

Robbing me with a fucking mop!

Shame on you, Winston.

Shame on you.

I'll send someone
to untie you, Chris!

It's not your fault.

Okay.

Easy, easy.

Oh, my fucking God.

Come on.

My man, hold up.

Just want to talk.

Hey, I know you guys.
What are you doing here?

That's crazy. Big fan...

Who is that?

Yeah.

What the fuck, you guys?

This! This is the one
we're after.

Hey, you said... Eh,
you said ruthless execution.

Just... All right, fuck.

Just clean it up,
you fucking ding-a-lings.

Stop!

It hurts!

Help me!

Help me!

Hey, how's Mr. Feets?

Mr. Treats is fine.

All this traffic,
you gotta be careful.

A lot of cats
getting hit out here.

You're very subtle.

Oh, yeah?

- As a hammer.
- Why, thank you.

Hey, I've enjoyed working
with you on this transaction.

Asshole.

Excuse me?

Hey, Winston.

I keep calling
and you won't pick up.

So, um, you know,
if you could...

Please just pick up
and... or call. Um...

Oh, I'm just getting
really, really worried.

Okay, bye.

Hey, buddy.

Whoa!

The fuck?

What the fuck
did you do to my sled?

Jeez!

Oh, shit, man.

I apologize.

Hey, shut up down there!

Someone call 911.

The fuck?

Did that guy just shoot someone?

I just said I was sorry.

Oh, is that my arm?

- It's a demon.
- It's a fiend.

Those are the same things!

We gotta kill that vampire.

Call my dad.

Call my dad.

It ate a baby!

It had a tail.

Yep. Sounds like angel dust.

Y'all doing a mob?

We're doing a mob.

Mob, mob, mob!

Okay, fuck it. It's a mob.

Mob, mob, mob!

Yee-haw!

That's how perverts run!

Hunched over and bow-legged!

Let's fuck him up!

You all go that way!

Cut him off!

He's in that meadow!

We're coming for you!

I think I saw something
in them trees.

Oh, God.

You better run and hide.

Keep searching.

What's that over there?

There he is.

Thought you'd want a breakfast.

I found you in
Yonder Spooky Woods.

My God.

What's the issue, fella?

[, uh...

I'm

I'm dying.

Doctor says
I've got maybe a year.

Dying.

Dying, he says.

Well, why didn't you
say something before?

Make way for the big parade.

We got ticker tape
and there's confetti.

Oh, and look, here comes
the big brass marching band.

And great big, sexy,
long-legged women,

high-kicking ladies.

And then there's a little train.

There's a miniature train,
and you can ride it in circles

and eat cotton candy

until your fucking heart
bursts with joy

because, hey, folks...
he is dying!

Yeah?

Yeah, well, big whoop!

"A year."

Great. Big ol'
can-suck-it's-own-dick whoop!

Guthrie Stockins.

Uh, Winston.

What I meant to say
is we're all... dying.

You know, this place
used to be a preserve.

And now, the Nervous Red Warbler

is basically extinct.

So you see,

you dying,

it just ain't nothing special.

Well, that doesn't
make me feel any better.

Well, it's never too late.

Yeah, well, look at me.

I used to be a fancy doctor.

Yeah. Big salary, house.
You know, important, right?

Next thing I know,

Mr. Policeman's
holding me down,

saying that I, uh, bit somebody
in a budget meeting.

But look how things turned out.

See?

You never know which way
the worm is gonna turn.

So the question is,

what you gonna do
in the meantime?

What do you want?

I want my boy.

But he thinks I'm a monster.

You're not a monster.

Show him your good heart.

Is that yours?

Found this washed up
in Yonder Funky Lagoon.

This is a formidable item.

Do you know how to use it?

Like, for mopping?

- Mmm...
- Wait a minute.

That's it. There we go.

Just remember.

Those given much will of them
have much demanded.

- Yeah, got it. Got it.
- Generally speaking...

Um, with great power
and whatnot.

Oh, got it, got it.

Good luck, Winston.

He's an ugly
son of a bitch though.

Yeah!

Uh, saw blood.

Handsome fella had his arm
tore off like wet bread,

and the creature
run off into the night.

An atmosphere of creeping terror

hangs over the city,
and there are still no leads

as to the identity
of the rampaging maniac.

Uh, alleged maniac.

Anyone who may have
encountered the strange beast

should call this number.

Can we put that up,
please, Terry?

What are we dealing with here?

MS-13? Bio-warfare?

The oft-predicted uprising

of our woodland
Sasquatch cousins?

At this point,

it's impossible to say.

Whatever it is...

Hello.
Pervert tip line.

Please hold.

Jumping in
with some breaking news.

We have confirmed reports

that a group of armed
political extremists

calling themselves
The Nasty Lads...

Good Lord, y'all.
They've taken hostages

at a Miss Meat
lunch-a-torium downtown.

Formerly Mister Meat.

Let's go live.

Suspects inside.

We have injured
unknown number of targets.

Yeah, we're set up out front.

We're still waiting on SWAT.

These guys are real psychos.

God help us.

We are The Nasty Lads.

We are angry.

You will hear our grievances.

Youse guys don't move
a fucking muscle.

Take us seriously.

There's a boy in here.

He's wearing a helmet.

My mom made me wear it.

Our once great Western society

has been enfeebled
by estrogenic thinking

and moral turpitude.

What the fuck
is that supposed to mean?

No longer!

Today, we give notice.

Today, we rise.

Yeah, fellas,
I understand you're angry,

but what's your issue
with this establishment?

The change of mascot

symbolizes the intellectual
dishonesty we abhor.

It's always been Mister Meat.

Yeah, sure, but it's still
the same great grub, right?

I need SWAT right now!

My boy's in there.

Ma'am, please, stay back.

My son's in there.

Somebody...
Somebody do something!

Grievance one. Progressive fascism.

Grievance two.
Anti-Anglo media tyranny.

Three. The Global
Emasculatory Agenda!

Four. Groupthink privacy.

Five.
Western Alpha Scapegoating.

Six. Science.

Seven...

Are you triggered?

I can't see what you're doing.

Are you triggered?

- Eight...
- Shitheads, I'm blind.

"Shitheads"?

What's happening?

Talk to me, what's happening?

"Shitheads"?

Maybe I'll just show you
who's a shitheads.

What do you think, boys?

I never cornholed...

Don't antagonize him!

You fucked up this time.

Who the fuck are you?

Nobody special.

Just some dude...
with a mop!

Yeah.

Come here, you!
And your stupid

- fucking antlers!
- Oh, my God.

You too, dummy.

Oh, God.

Give me your lunch.

Show me your hands!

Dingus! Damn it!
What the hell are you doing?

Oh, my God, is that man dead?

Yeah, that's his head.

Oh, God!

What happened to that guy?

He looks like
a fucked-up hot dog.

Oh, God,
he's putting it back in.

Oh, fuck, he's putting it in.

Standby. Um, okay.

We're seeing movement here.

People are coming outside.

It's not clear
what's happening just yet.

Hey, get over there
and give him a hand.

Officer, get over there
and help these people.

Aw!

What the hell is that?

Whoa!

No! No!

This little dude saved us.

He's a hero.

He's a hero.

What's your name, sir?

I'd rather not say.

Are you affiliated with BTH?

No, no comment.

How does it feel
to be considered a hero?

Sometimes...

you know, some...

Sometimes you gotta
do something.

Winston?

Right here.

A good-looking hero!

Yeah!

Yes!

You gotta do something.

If you're just joining us...

I'm sorry.
I'm just choked up here.

Um, it appears that the hostages

- are all safe.
- That's him.

- Or mostly safe...
- Him?

- ...but they're okay.
- That's him?

Oh, we got the crazy bastard.

He's headed south on Torgl.

Fan out.

I want him dead or alive.

Actually, wait.
You still there?

Yeah, dude, yeah. Still here.

- Just dead.
- Just dead?

Yeah.

When I ask you to handle things,

my beloved baby brother,

basis of my assumption is that
you will not then decide...

to fuck the entire goat!

See what you did?

I did what you asked.

How dare you sass him,
little runt?

- And you!
- Me?

You had one of the anarchists
right in your hand,

- and you lost him.
- No, no.

I did not let him go.

I took him for a little Bellini.

We had a stroll...

The betrayer and the janitor
are obviously in cahoots,

making mayhem against us,
and if that weren't enough,

now some mighty freak

puts us right in the spotlight.

So mighty.

Uh, you always say,

"Any attention
is good attention"?

You missed the point.

The janitor and the freak
are one and the same.

- Fuck!
- And somehow,

because of what you did,

we made it so.

An evolution.

I want all of my geeks
working on this.

But first, how...

...did this happen?

Whoop.

Our factory waste materials

are normally quite toxic,

but in combination with an
extremely rare genetic marker,

it could trigger
a powerful mutation.

Which result
in muscle accretion,

hyper-cellular augmentation
and, uh...

- Um...
- Spit it out.

Girthening.

Yes.

Notable girthening.

You're gonna save my ass,
aren't you, janitor?

Time is short.

Can you recreate the mutation?

We need the freak,
but there's a risk

- of dangerous infection...
- Get it started.

Find him, bring him here.

Uh...

He has a child.

But where does he come from?

And what does he want?

And what is the BTH connection?

Excuse me, the Toxic Avenger?

That's what the kids
are calling him.

I think it's swell.

Is "him" the preferred pronoun?

Real classy, Rick.

Uh, help you?

I'll tell you what went down.

So that's what went down.

So are you like a...
a detective or a spy”?

No, I'm just angry.

I'm trying to expose
these jackals.

Your dad's the key.

Stepdad.

I grew up by the river.

You could see BT factory
from my yard.

I never bought into the whole
bio booster bullshit.

But my mom was a disciple.

Bob Garbinger was the
Second Coming, far as she cared.

She bought everything
they put out.

Then came the stomach aches.

And by the time
she could get the surgery,

shit they took out of her
was the size of a baseball.

She was gone in a year.

Whole time thinking
her cranial stims

and positive frequency lamps
would save her.

And that's the shit,
now we know,

that killed her
in the first place.

My sister died too.

- Cancer?
- Zamboni.

Hell of a skater.
No awareness.

It was a rough year.

Yeah. I lost my mom
like that too.

- Zamboni?
- Cancer.

Sorry about that, man.

A lot of that going around.

You got him mixed up
in some bad stuff.

He was already there,
running off with some money.

Where are you?

Where are you?

Stop flipping.

They're running.

Parkour?

No.

No parkour.

We'll track him.

- Wait!
- Whoa.

What are you doing with her?

Never mind about her.
What's wrong with you?

What's wrong with you?

Um...

- Does it hurt?
- Uh...

No, it's not bad.
It's sort of like a sunburn.

I didn't ask for all the doctors

and... and therapy and shit.

I didn't ask for you to go out
stealing to pay for it.

The money was for me.

I'm sick.
It's my head.

There's medicine for it.

And I was trying to pay for it
and then, um...

- And then, well...
- Are you...

Are you... are you gonna die?

And you didn't tell me?

Just like Mom.

And I'm not gonna have anyone.

- No, no, wait. I'm your dad.
- No, you're not.

We need to get inside.

You never even got married!

I promise you,

I am not going...

Go!

Winston!

What the fuck?

He's getting away!

Go around.
Cut him off!

- Go! Go! Go!
- That way! That way!

We have to go back.

We have to help him.

No. Too dangerous.

My... My ears are ringing.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

Jump scare.

There you are.

There he is.

There he is.
Go, go, go, go, go, go!

Hey, come here.

Come here a sec.

What the fuck?

What happened to yo use?

Just... just come here.

What?

I got something to tell you.

What is it?

It's... it's important.

Goddamn it!

Gotcha, sucker.

No, no, no!

Blake was gutted.

No, not bummed.
I mean, he was disemboweled.

I sent in Boofer and Keg-Stand,

but I lost contact, and...

Stay gold, asshole.

Oh, God.

Hey. Hey. Where's Wade?

Hey!

Oh, God! Okay, okay, okay.

Hold on. I know a doctor.

Don't worry.

Are you sure you're a doctor?

Whoever told you I was a doctor?

You did.

Well, then,
in my medical opinion,

she's already dead.

God. Okay, okay.

Young... young lady?

Hmm.

Jesus.

You've got someplace to be?

Sound check, baby.

You'll make the festival.

Gotta sound tight
for the community.

Hashtag blessed.
A koo-koo-koo!

Just play the fucking hits.

Whatever.

Hey, kid.

Don't be scared.

We just want him.

You're the one
who should be scared.

You see what he's up against?

Winston...

My dad loves me
more than anything.

What would your family do

if someone tried
to take you away?

Sorry. Yes, sir.

Right away.

Hello, Thad.

Don't you "Thad" me,
you cunty jerk.

That BTH Frankenstein
just tomahawked half my gang!

So convince me not to come
over there right now

and put a rattlesnake
up your ass.

Oh, please don't do that.

You know there are
undercover feds in town

looking to make hay
out of exactly

this sort of shit show?

- Thad...
- AKA,

you are suicidally
fucking with my money!

- Of course, but you...
- You're talking now

which means your whole
operation gets pried open!

And anyone connected is a...

- It's handled.
- You're sure?

You have my word.

I hope so, bozo.

Why don't we just take it off
and start again?

Put him in the shed.

Let go of me!
Let me go!

You can't do this!

This is a mistake.

The boy.

You're familiar
with Pandora's box?

The exotic revue?

-No
-BOB: Oh.

- A can of worms, I mean.
- Hmm.

The only can
I'm interested in right now...

is can I know
that you're on my side?

Where else would I be, Robert?

Hmm.

Hey, little fella.

There's a gentleman
down there huffing jenkem.

Says you saved my life.

Thank you.

They took Wade to get to me.

Yeah.

And they did all this, huh?

The night we met, I was
trying to get hard proof.

Me and my mentor.

His name is Melvin Ferd.

He was a good reporter.

Very brave.

And they killed him
with harpoons and shit.

And if you ruin them,
it'll make things okay.

No, we've already
killed the planet.

Ruining BTH
isn't gonna change that.

You don't...

You don't know that.
Things could change.

It's never too late.

Why fight if you can't win?

They're dangerous.

We'd have to go in hard.

I am very hard.

You suck!

Boo!

Yeah, baby!

Are you cunt-lickin',
cock-suckin' motherfuckers?

- Yes, we are!
- No.

- That's right!
- All right.

I know you know the words
to this next one.

So I want you loud up
in this bitch!

This shit don't work.

This shit don't work.

Who the fuck
is ruining our show?

No!

- Toxie! It's him!
- Yo, I know this dude!

Hey, Toxie!
He saved my life! Hey!

Don't cheer!

It's my fuckin' stage!

No!

Yeah? Okay.

Look out!

What do you got? A mop?

Oh, here it comes, baby.

Yes. I am gonna flip it...

Oh, shit. Wait.
No, no, no!

Eat your fuckin' beard!

Fuck you!

Oh, my wife...

my best partner.

Why'd Toxie do that?

What the fuck, Toxie?

I told you he was a monster!

Who's gonna
clean up all this shit?

Listen up!

These dudes suck!

They kill people for BTH!

It's Robert Garbinger.

He's in bed with gangsters.

They all got rich
and you all got sick.

Weird bitch.

They are ruiners!

Over here!

Where's my son?

Where is my son?

Ow!

Chüdhaven.

Chüdhaven?

- Do you know where that is?
- Mmm.

- Mmm-hmm.
- Yeah.

Chüdhaven.

- Too much. Too much.
- Uh...

This way.

Are you ready?

Post one, any contact?

Negative.

Copy. Stay frosty.

Two guards.

- Can we sneak in?
- I don't think so.

It's wide open.

Follow my lead.

I have a plan.

Hey, boys.

Oh. That plan was insane.

No.

Winston!

- Wade?
- Look out!

Hey, gang.

Room service.
Just getting everybody comfy.

Triple titanium chains there, buddy.

You ain't going anywhere.

You know,

I think you've learned
a pretty severe lesson

about not stealing
from your employer.

But the fun thing is, is that

even though
you tried to rob me...

all of this is gonna make me

a fucking barn load of money.

Look at those guns.

Get away from him, you pig.

"Pig"? Okay, you know what?

I'm not even
talking to you right now.

I'm so irritated with your,

"Oh, dear.
Businessman. Bad."

So just...

Annoying.

Wow.

Tell me, Mr. Gooze,

um, did it hurt?

You're becoming...

Okay. Well, never mind.

I'll find out for myself.

I'm gonna have
the side effects boys

iron it out before we launch.

- Garbinger.
- Yes?

You're gonna find out
what hurts.

No.

- I'm gonna make sure it hurts.
- No.

I get it.

- I'm gonna make...
- I just said

that I was gonna find out.

So it's a hat on a hat, right?

- It's a hat on a hat.
- It is.

- I'm gonna make sure it hurts.
- No, no, no.

The moment has passed.

- See you guys.
- Fuck!

I'm sorry.

It wasn't a good line.

Don't you fucking touch him!

Winston!

Winston!

Some of the subsequences
are flawed.

- Some.
- Run it again.

Winston!

Winston!

These elements contain

traces of...

...which can cause
notable brain changes.

Run it again.

The subject will not likely
survive another extraction.

Let's hope he does.

Uh...

The mutagenics are in range.

But, uh...

Here at Gonzales Park,

where a fun family festival

turned into a bananas bloodbath

that some attribute
to the freaky folk hero

known as Toxie.

Beautiful.

I'm assuming you heard this.

Thad.

What I heard
was criminal allegations

about BTH being in
with criminal gangsters

and using our town as their
own personal shit box.

It's Robert Garbinger.

He's in bed with gangsters.

They all got rich
and you all got sick.

They are ruiners!

There you have it.

Shocking allegations against BTH

of organized crime connections

and heinous
environmental abuses.

As of today,
all municipal cooperation

with Body Talk Healthstyle
is suspended,

pending a thorough inve...

You said it was handled.

Fuck them.

We can wait them out.

You got a turd in your pocket?

Who's this "we"?

I would never tell them
anything about us. About you.

You say that
like you have any control

- over what happens.
- But I do.

Just now, we had the
breakthrough of a millennium.

It's the ultimate bio booster.

We could... we could call it
Champion Sauce or God Soda.

Everybody is gonna be eating
out of my hands, just like...

- Eating out of our hands.
- Hush.

- Just like the old days.
- Hush.

Okay if I had a quick drink?
I'm just...

- One for the road?
- Oh, yeah.

You're gonna need it.

We had a good run, huh?

You and me.

Stop stalling.

It's cheap.

Bozo?

Nobody calls me that anymore.

Rob...

Robert.

My love, I feel unwell.

Mmm.

Take dictation, my dear.
Superiority...

I don't want explanations.

I want results.

His body's rejecting the serum.

I literally said
I didn't want that.

We warned him
it wasn't perfected.

So fucking perfect it!

My God, you people are tedious!

The mess upstairs? No traces.

- The hostage?
- No witnesses.

Wait. What?

You didn't think
we were just gonna let him go?

But he's a child.

And whose sterling
fucking idea was it

to bring him here
in the first place?

Do it.

No, Colonel.

Jeff, we're not gonna do that.

You disloyal little gimp.

That is your brother
I'm trying to protect.

No, it's not.

Oh, Fritz.

You fucking little shit!

No witnesses!

Witnesses.

Hey.

Hey.

Yo! Wake up!

They're going to kill Wade!

Wade?

Yo, yo, yo, yo!
Come on, let's go.

Mel would be so pissed at me.

Pissed.

I gotta get my dick out.

Your dick?

Please, like
you have to trust me.

I swear to God, if you're
being perverted right now...

Okay. Hey. No. No.

I promise you,

I am not a pervert.

Okay?

Okay. Watch out.
I gotta piss on my face.

Okey-doke.

Got it.

Holy shit.

Don't worry.

I'll have better aim now.

No.

Ugh.

Hard proof. Maybe a cure.

Great. Get that to the car.

I'll get Wade.

Go.

Hey.

Was it worth it, janitor?

Did you get what you wanted?

I lost... everything!

We're not so different,
you and I.

I also like to scream.

Everything!

Come here, you mother...

There's nothing
you can do to us.

Get your weird ass up.

You're the fucking weird ass.

Fuck you!

You bitch.

Bitch!

Robert!

That's for my mom.

Where's Wade?

You should have just helped me!

But I'm a monster.

Dad!

Huh?

This way. Hurry.

- Please.
- Wade?

Don't kill him.

It's not who you are.

Well, I mean, uh...

- What?
- Never mind. No.

Nothing.

Nothing. Nothing.

Uh, you mean the...
With the guy with the...

Yeah, that guy.

Well, that was just
self-defense.

Yes, it was.

You... You haven't killed
anyone else, have you?

See, when you say, uh,
"self-defense"...

Three, two, one!

Ignition.

What a good fucking line.

You called me Dad.

I know.

I love you...

No! Dad!

Stop!

Enough!

It's never enough!

Hey! Over here.

Oh, good. You're up.

Your son's gone
to the snack machine.

Neat kid.

Turn that up.

...large scale corruption

in the wake
of the BTH data dump.

A federal task force
has revealed

a massive conspiracy of fraud,

bribery, toxic dumping,
and even murder for hire

involving city officials,

including the Mayor
and Chief of Police.

Criminally implicated CEO
Robert Garbinger remains at large,

as does the so-called
Toxic Avenger.

Splendid. One of
our greatest business minds

is pilloried just because...

Oh, shut the fuck up, Rick.

I've been after BTH for years.

Are you gonna arrest me?

We're gonna sweep you
under the rug as best we can.

You also saved a lot of lives.

You'll always have that.

For a year, maybe.

Best case.

- Actually...
- Oh, fuck!

What? You scared
the shit out of me.

- I thought you saw me here.
- No, I didn't see you.

Well, I'm sorry about that.

I was having lunch here, uh,
in case you woke up

because I wanted
to tell you this

- as soon as I could.
- What is it?

Lebanese bologna
and cream cheese,

- which sounds off...
- What...

What did you want to tell me?

Oh. Yes.

More context?

Nope, that's you.

Looks like your mutations
with generative properties

causing...

...in your brain to vanish.

Wild, huh?

You done fucked up twice now!

You're in recovery.

Apart from your hideous
physical condition, obviously.

Mr. Treats says thanks.

Thank you, man.

Great job.
You did a great job!

Bunch of crap.

- What?
- You heard me. You heard me.

You got a problem?

Yeah. This is a hospital.

- This ain't no rodeo, buddy.
- Yeah.

I'm aware. I'm excited.

Some kind of party.

Can I have more apple juice?

Shut the fuck up.

Hmm.

Yes!

Yeah! Yeah.

There's nothing
they can do to us, Robert.

Ah.

I was just, uh,

just making some grilled cheese.

It's not... you know, uh...

Whatever, I guess. Uh...

You know, the main thing is,

you want to put the butter
on the bread first

so it crisps evenly.

Put butter in the pan first,
it's uneven and, uh,

you know, it can burn,
and that's... that's not good.

So, uh,
you got to use white bread.

Only white.

Or, uh, or sourdough.

Yeah. I, uh,

put a bit of mayonnaise
on mine sometimes.

You know, to be honest,
I don't think it makes a difference.

But, you know.

I don't know why I do that.
I just do.

And I use American cheese.

But I... You could use cheddar

if you like that better or,
uh, you know,

cheddar jack or, you know,

three-mix cheddar. Uh...

Oh, hey, bud.

Uh, another cool thing
you could do

is you can just, uh, you know,

after it's been cooking
for a while, you just

sprinkle some shredded
cheese on the outside.

You flip it and do the same
on the other side.

Now what you get is,

you get this nice, crispy shell.

So it's nice
and crispy on the outside

and then you get that bite.

Just the pop.

You know,
that crunch on the outside.

You know, it's, uh,
not essential.

Just a little thing extra
you can do to, uh, boss it up.

You know, I...

I serve, uh,
I serve mine with milk.

But, uh, you could do whatever.

You know, whatever you like.

You know.

And that clocks another block

of "I Love Rock" on AM 10-1.

It's another
unusually lovely day,

here in St. Roma's...

Blue skies. Sun's out.

Kids are playing
with their dogs.

That's how many beautiful days
in a row now?

What's the opposite
of a curse, kids?

It's, uh, just good luck,
I guess.

Okay, this is Rowdy Mike
on AM 10-1

where we're all 10-1 together.