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1
00:02:40,687 --> 00:02:42,892
- You know, I usually
don't fool around, darling,
2
00:02:42,893 --> 00:02:44,127
but my wife's in Hawaii
3
00:02:44,128 --> 00:02:46,399
and if I don't get
some before sundown,
4
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:49,306
I'm liable to break
out in pimples.
5
00:02:49,307 --> 00:02:52,247
And God knows I
couldn't take that.
6
00:02:54,886 --> 00:02:56,890
- Oh, you got a big dog.
7
00:02:58,026 --> 00:03:00,966
- Oh, don't you
worry about that dog.
8
00:03:03,205 --> 00:03:06,712
Yeah, you have the
right to remain silent,
9
00:03:06,713 --> 00:03:08,749
although I'd like you
to yell a little bit.
10
00:03:08,750 --> 00:03:10,520
Anything you say.
11
00:03:10,521 --> 00:03:12,925
Can be held against you.
12
00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:14,864
- Oh, you're so strong!
13
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:16,969
- Oh, baby, yeah!
14
00:03:16,970 --> 00:03:18,204
- You're so big!
15
00:03:18,205 --> 00:03:20,576
Oh, I'm so glad your
wife is in Hawaii!
16
00:03:20,577 --> 00:03:22,982
- Oh, me too, girl,
do it, oh, yeah!
17
00:03:22,983 --> 00:03:24,217
- Alright!
18
00:03:24,218 --> 00:03:25,687
Hey, what, come on, put the gun,
19
00:03:25,688 --> 00:03:26,889
drop the fucking gun.
20
00:03:26,890 --> 00:03:27,827
Come on.
- Drop your pants, Officer!
21
00:03:27,827 --> 00:03:28,762
- Come on, that's loaded.
22
00:03:28,763 --> 00:03:29,764
- Drop your pants, Officer
23
00:03:29,765 --> 00:03:31,567
- God dammit!
24
00:03:31,568 --> 00:03:32,404
Come on!
25
00:03:32,404 --> 00:03:33,404
- Drop 'em!
26
00:03:34,608 --> 00:03:37,815
Now, get down on
your knees, Officer!
27
00:03:39,419 --> 00:03:41,055
Now, bark like a dog!
28
00:03:41,056 --> 00:03:42,393
- Come on!
- Go!
29
00:03:43,228 --> 00:03:44,229
Louder!
30
00:03:44,898 --> 00:03:45,833
Louder!
31
00:03:45,833 --> 00:03:46,803
Come on, give me a big dog!
32
00:03:46,803 --> 00:03:47,803
A big dog!
33
00:03:54,285 --> 00:03:55,621
- You wanna play rough?
34
00:03:55,622 --> 00:03:56,624
I'll teach you
how to play rough!
35
00:03:56,625 --> 00:03:57,560
Wanna bark like a dog?
36
00:03:57,560 --> 00:03:58,495
Well, I'll fuck you like a dog!
37
00:03:58,496 --> 00:03:59,899
- Get off of me!
38
00:04:01,302 --> 00:04:02,770
You want to play rough?
39
00:04:02,771 --> 00:04:04,074
- Get off that fucking car
40
00:04:04,075 --> 00:04:05,043
before I beat you
like a step child!
41
00:04:05,044 --> 00:04:06,713
- I'll get off, boy, I's bad!
42
00:04:06,714 --> 00:04:07,982
I'm bad b-a-capital D!
43
00:04:07,983 --> 00:04:09,018
- No, man, take the car!
44
00:04:09,019 --> 00:04:09,954
Take the car!
45
00:04:09,955 --> 00:04:11,056
- I'll take everything you got!
46
00:04:11,057 --> 00:04:12,460
- Take the girl!
47
00:04:16,435 --> 00:04:20,111
- I don't know who you
are, but I love you!
48
00:04:41,926 --> 00:04:44,666
Don't move, don't move!
49
00:04:51,714 --> 00:04:53,250
- You saved my life.
50
00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:54,821
- No, baby, you saved my life!
51
00:04:54,822 --> 00:04:56,057
Don't you understand?
52
00:04:56,058 --> 00:04:57,226
Thirty seconds ago
I was a roofer,
53
00:04:57,227 --> 00:04:59,832
a fucking roofer
living in Canoga Park.
54
00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:02,338
Now I'm rich, I got the best
looking babe in the world
55
00:05:02,339 --> 00:05:05,879
and I'm driving a 1960 powder
blue Buick convertible!
56
00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:06,881
- Yeah!
57
00:05:07,984 --> 00:05:09,788
- It's just, it's just
the beginning baby!
58
00:05:09,789 --> 00:05:11,224
Woo!
59
00:05:11,225 --> 00:05:13,395
It's just the beginning,
baby, it's just the beginning!
60
00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:14,665
I can see it coming!
61
00:05:14,666 --> 00:05:16,669
It's fuzzy, it's fuzzy,
but I can see it coming!
62
00:05:16,670 --> 00:05:18,039
Look down at my
pinkie twitching!
63
00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:19,375
Look, it's gonna be big
64
00:05:19,376 --> 00:05:20,678
It's gonna be big!
65
00:05:20,679 --> 00:05:22,215
- I like big!
66
00:05:22,216 --> 00:05:23,418
- Yeah, baby, big!
67
00:05:23,419 --> 00:05:25,389
A big old mansion with a pool!
68
00:05:25,390 --> 00:05:26,325
- In Beverly Hills?
69
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:27,527
- Yeah, in Beverly Hills, baby.
70
00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:28,730
With a big old tennis court,
71
00:05:28,731 --> 00:05:30,935
a big old Wolf
range for cooking.
72
00:05:30,936 --> 00:05:33,909
- As long as it's big 'cause
like I said, I like big!
73
00:05:33,910 --> 00:05:35,444
- That's 'cause you're bad too!
74
00:05:35,445 --> 00:05:36,581
It's destiny, baby!
75
00:05:36,582 --> 00:05:37,984
- Oh, it's love at first sight.
76
00:05:37,985 --> 00:05:40,623
Oh, it's Karma, babe, we're bad!
77
00:05:40,624 --> 00:05:42,495
- "Love at first sight.
78
00:05:42,496 --> 00:05:44,432
"He was a roofer.
79
00:05:44,433 --> 00:05:46,503
"I was working at
a garden center.
80
00:05:46,504 --> 00:05:48,073
"We met on our lunch break
81
00:05:48,074 --> 00:05:51,480
"and we kind of altered the
course of each other's lives.
82
00:05:51,481 --> 00:05:52,984
"You hear about it,
you read about it,
83
00:05:52,985 --> 00:05:56,426
"but man, oh, man,
when it happens, wow!
84
00:05:56,427 --> 00:05:58,129
"It's like you
fasten your seat belt
85
00:05:58,130 --> 00:06:00,369
"and hold on for the ride."
86
00:06:11,894 --> 00:06:12,730
- Shout it out!
87
00:06:12,731 --> 00:06:13,797
- Eighty five!
88
00:06:13,798 --> 00:06:14,634
- Yeah!
89
00:06:14,634 --> 00:06:15,469
- Ninety!
90
00:06:15,470 --> 00:06:16,838
- Ooohhh, yes!
91
00:06:16,839 --> 00:06:18,009
- Ninety five!
92
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,714
I got it, whooo!
93
00:06:22,051 --> 00:06:23,052
Bingo!
94
00:06:33,042 --> 00:06:34,844
Come on baby, come to Daddy.
95
00:06:34,845 --> 00:06:36,582
- I'm coming!
96
00:06:36,583 --> 00:06:37,585
I'm coming!
97
00:06:44,033 --> 00:06:44,835
- Goddamn!
98
00:06:44,836 --> 00:06:45,837
We're bad!
99
00:06:45,837 --> 00:06:46,773
- Yes, we are!
- We are bad!
100
00:06:46,774 --> 00:06:49,010
I'm bad and you're beautiful!
101
00:06:49,011 --> 00:06:49,914
- I'm bad!
102
00:06:49,915 --> 00:06:51,115
I'm bad!
103
00:06:51,116 --> 00:06:53,654
I'm a female Robin Hood!
104
00:06:53,655 --> 00:06:55,424
- And I'm Friar Fuck!
105
00:06:55,425 --> 00:06:56,761
Oh, damn!
106
00:06:56,762 --> 00:06:58,531
Are we lucky or what?
107
00:06:58,532 --> 00:07:00,102
Look at all these clothes!
108
00:07:00,103 --> 00:07:02,207
Look at how red this is!
109
00:07:02,208 --> 00:07:04,111
- Red's my favorite color!
110
00:07:04,112 --> 00:07:05,447
Well, put it on for Daddy, baby,
111
00:07:05,448 --> 00:07:08,320
and be the devil
you always were!
112
00:07:08,321 --> 00:07:09,723
A zoot suit!
113
00:07:09,724 --> 00:07:11,560
This is a zoot suit!
- Baby, I'm a big red devil!
114
00:07:11,561 --> 00:07:13,097
- Goddammit!
115
00:07:13,098 --> 00:07:16,740
Oh, Daddy, you're gonna
look so fine in that suit!
116
00:09:45,373 --> 00:09:46,843
- Oh, God, baby,
117
00:09:46,844 --> 00:09:48,011
you gotta promise me that
now that I found you,
118
00:09:48,012 --> 00:09:49,515
you're never gonna let me go.
119
00:09:49,516 --> 00:09:52,187
I promise that I will
love you forever and ever
120
00:09:52,188 --> 00:09:54,024
with all my heart
and all my soul.
121
00:09:54,025 --> 00:09:55,027
- Yeah!
122
00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:55,897
- Yeah!
- See, I'm telling you,
123
00:09:55,898 --> 00:09:57,131
I'm psychic, I knew it.
124
00:09:57,132 --> 00:09:58,768
Some people call
it a gut feeling.
125
00:09:58,769 --> 00:09:59,606
- Yeah!
126
00:09:59,607 --> 00:10:01,108
- You know,
127
00:10:01,109 --> 00:10:02,410
like it makes your fucking
dick stands right up on end.
128
00:10:02,411 --> 00:10:04,349
It's like love, baby.
129
00:10:04,350 --> 00:10:05,318
Whoa!
130
00:10:05,319 --> 00:10:06,553
When I met you, God.
131
00:10:06,554 --> 00:10:08,591
- Tell me about that
dick thing again!
132
00:10:08,592 --> 00:10:10,362
- What does your dick feel like?
133
00:10:10,363 --> 00:10:11,631
- Oh, you tell me.
134
00:10:11,632 --> 00:10:13,068
- Hmm, come here.
135
00:10:14,539 --> 00:10:18,548
Ooh, it feels soft and wet
and warm, it's like home.
136
00:10:23,993 --> 00:10:24,994
Yeah!
137
00:11:29,106 --> 00:11:30,442
Remember the plan I
was telling you about?
138
00:11:30,443 --> 00:11:31,378
Uh, see that?
139
00:11:31,379 --> 00:11:32,613
See my little finger twitching?
140
00:11:32,614 --> 00:11:34,049
I got this psychic ability,
141
00:11:34,050 --> 00:11:35,252
it's starting to range
142
00:11:35,253 --> 00:11:35,922
- with me right now.
- What is it?
143
00:11:35,922 --> 00:11:36,857
What is it?
144
00:11:36,857 --> 00:11:37,792
- Well, it's just gestating.
145
00:11:37,793 --> 00:11:39,261
I can't tell you exactly.
146
00:11:39,262 --> 00:11:39,963
It's bubbling up through
the grey matter of my mind.
147
00:11:39,963 --> 00:11:40,799
- Yeah?
148
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:42,268
- Oh, my God!
149
00:11:42,269 --> 00:11:43,204
- Yeah, yeah, what is it?
- Get a pencil, get a pencil!
150
00:11:43,204 --> 00:11:43,940
It's starting to etch itself out
151
00:11:43,941 --> 00:11:45,141
on the oui-gee
152
00:11:45,142 --> 00:11:45,877
- board of my brain.
- What is it?
153
00:11:45,877 --> 00:11:46,712
Tell me!
154
00:11:46,712 --> 00:11:47,647
- Oh, my God!
155
00:11:47,648 --> 00:11:48,983
It's, it's, it's, it's...
156
00:11:48,984 --> 00:11:49,819
Do you see it?
157
00:11:49,819 --> 00:11:50,654
Do you see it?
158
00:11:50,655 --> 00:11:51,923
- What?
159
00:11:51,924 --> 00:11:52,625
Tell me, tell me!
- It's a $10 million
160
00:11:52,625 --> 00:11:53,595
price tag!
161
00:11:53,595 --> 00:11:54,429
That's all it's gonna cost!
162
00:11:54,429 --> 00:11:55,132
It's $10 million!
163
00:11:55,132 --> 00:11:56,100
$10 million!
164
00:11:56,100 --> 00:11:56,668
- We can do it, we can do it!
165
00:11:56,668 --> 00:11:57,469
- How?
166
00:11:57,469 --> 00:11:58,305
- Oh, God!
167
00:11:58,305 --> 00:11:59,273
- Tell me!
168
00:11:59,273 --> 00:11:59,976
- Oh, hold on, here it comes.
169
00:11:59,976 --> 00:12:00,944
- What?
170
00:12:00,945 --> 00:12:02,179
- Oh, it's bubbling through me.
171
00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:03,516
Oh, my God, it's coming
up through my spine.
172
00:12:03,517 --> 00:12:04,551
- What is it?
- There it is in my head!
173
00:12:04,552 --> 00:12:05,387
Pow!
- What?
174
00:12:05,387 --> 00:12:06,222
- I got a letter!
175
00:12:06,223 --> 00:12:07,290
Write it down!
176
00:12:07,291 --> 00:12:09,428
- What?
- It's a v, it's a v!
177
00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:10,665
- Vagina.
178
00:12:10,666 --> 00:12:12,602
Vagina, yeah, that's a good one!
179
00:12:12,603 --> 00:12:13,539
That's a good one.
180
00:12:13,540 --> 00:12:14,808
Oh, I got another letter.
181
00:12:14,809 --> 00:12:15,777
Hold on, hold on,
I feel it coming.
182
00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:16,612
I feel it coming!
183
00:12:16,612 --> 00:12:17,447
- Come on!
184
00:12:17,447 --> 00:12:18,283
- It's an e!
185
00:12:18,283 --> 00:12:19,119
- E!
186
00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:20,353
- It's an e!
187
00:12:20,354 --> 00:12:22,592
Vana, Vana, write
the goddamn e down.
188
00:12:22,593 --> 00:12:24,262
Hold on, I got
another, I got another!
189
00:12:24,263 --> 00:12:25,899
- What is it?
- It's a g, it's a g!
190
00:12:25,900 --> 00:12:28,371
It's definitely a g!
- G, good!
191
00:12:28,372 --> 00:12:30,543
- Good, yeah, yeah,
this is real good!
192
00:12:30,544 --> 00:12:31,812
Hold on, I got another one!
193
00:12:31,813 --> 00:12:33,316
I got another, here it
comes, here it comes.
194
00:12:33,317 --> 00:12:34,585
Wait, wait, wait.
195
00:12:34,586 --> 00:12:35,422
Damn, there it is!
196
00:12:35,423 --> 00:12:36,991
It's an a!
197
00:12:36,992 --> 00:12:39,096
- A, a, uh, apocalyptic!
198
00:12:40,032 --> 00:12:41,100
- Yeah, that's a good word.
199
00:12:41,101 --> 00:12:42,402
That's a good word, apocalyptic.
200
00:12:42,403 --> 00:12:43,806
Alright, now hold
on, the last one.
201
00:12:43,807 --> 00:12:47,080
It's, it's, oh, God, I'm
getting a little dizzy.
202
00:12:47,081 --> 00:12:48,016
- Alright, give it to me.
203
00:12:48,016 --> 00:12:48,751
- Getting a little dizzy.
204
00:12:48,751 --> 00:12:49,586
Here it comes.
205
00:12:49,586 --> 00:12:50,421
It's coming.
206
00:12:50,421 --> 00:12:51,258
It's a swarmy one.
207
00:12:51,258 --> 00:12:52,092
What is it?
208
00:12:52,092 --> 00:12:52,928
It's an s!
209
00:12:52,928 --> 00:12:53,762
S!
210
00:12:53,763 --> 00:12:54,797
- It's an s, s!
211
00:12:54,798 --> 00:12:56,568
Sex!
212
00:12:56,569 --> 00:12:57,404
Sex!
213
00:12:57,405 --> 00:12:58,605
Spell it, spell it!
214
00:12:58,606 --> 00:12:59,708
What's that spell?
215
00:12:59,709 --> 00:13:03,384
V-E-G-A-S, Vegas!
216
00:13:05,255 --> 00:13:06,323
Woo!
217
00:13:06,324 --> 00:13:07,894
Fucking Vegas man!
218
00:13:39,398 --> 00:13:40,501
- Hi, honey.
219
00:13:42,605 --> 00:13:44,443
- Do you need a ride?
220
00:13:47,751 --> 00:13:49,553
It's your wedding day.
221
00:13:49,554 --> 00:13:51,291
You must be excited.
222
00:13:53,730 --> 00:13:54,731
You okay?
223
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:57,939
You look so pretty.
224
00:13:59,944 --> 00:14:01,447
- Tell her you like her dress.
225
00:14:01,448 --> 00:14:02,949
- I love your dress.
226
00:14:02,950 --> 00:14:04,153
- Work the polka dots.
227
00:14:04,154 --> 00:14:05,824
- I love polka dots.
228
00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:10,033
You know, I had a polka
dotted dress once.
229
00:14:10,034 --> 00:14:13,006
It was a prom dress, it
was my high school prom.
230
00:14:13,007 --> 00:14:14,877
And I had the cutest boyfriend
231
00:14:14,878 --> 00:14:16,113
- Nothing like me, darling.
232
00:14:16,114 --> 00:14:18,885
He was almost as cute as Harry.
233
00:14:18,886 --> 00:14:21,192
Well, maybe even a little cuter.
234
00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:23,763
Yeah, we had a great time,
235
00:14:23,764 --> 00:14:27,172
bought a six pack of
beer, a little weed.
236
00:14:29,009 --> 00:14:32,517
We never even made
it to the prom.
237
00:14:32,518 --> 00:14:34,187
Ah, we just started
drinking and smoking
238
00:14:34,188 --> 00:14:35,691
and then, next thing you knew,
239
00:14:35,692 --> 00:14:37,962
we ended up in a tattoo
parlor getting tattooed.
240
00:14:37,963 --> 00:14:39,198
- Yeah, as a matter of fact,
241
00:14:39,199 --> 00:14:40,001
I used to have some
polka dot tennis shoes
242
00:14:40,002 --> 00:14:41,469
when I was a little boy
243
00:14:41,470 --> 00:14:42,706
and there was this girl
that lived next door to me,
244
00:14:42,707 --> 00:14:44,209
now I don't know if
she was potty trained,
245
00:14:44,210 --> 00:14:46,013
but we used to play doctor
all the time and my God,
246
00:14:46,014 --> 00:14:48,620
I swear she'd tinkle every
time I gave her an examination.
247
00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:49,956
Get on in here.
248
00:14:52,997 --> 00:14:56,504
- You know, I also had some
polka dotted shoes I think.
249
00:14:56,505 --> 00:14:57,873
Yeah!
250
00:14:57,874 --> 00:15:00,045
- Speaking of polka dots
251
00:15:00,046 --> 00:15:03,252
a friend of mine polka
dotted his car once.
252
00:15:03,253 --> 00:15:06,393
Yeah, I sure do miss
that old polka dot car.
253
00:15:06,394 --> 00:15:07,662
I actually used to
have a polka dot puppy
254
00:15:07,663 --> 00:15:09,800
that got stepped on
by a polka dot horse,
255
00:15:09,801 --> 00:15:11,871
which really broke
up my first wife,
256
00:15:11,872 --> 00:15:16,348
but ah, that's another
story for you, darling.
257
00:15:16,349 --> 00:15:18,285
- I'm Cecelia and this is Harry.
258
00:15:18,286 --> 00:15:19,422
- Hi.
259
00:15:19,423 --> 00:15:21,962
- We're very
pleased to meet you.
260
00:15:37,129 --> 00:15:40,669
- You wait and you
wait all of your life
261
00:15:40,670 --> 00:15:44,010
for the right man to come along,
262
00:15:44,011 --> 00:15:45,514
you save yourself,
263
00:15:47,084 --> 00:15:50,524
then one day there's somebody
there down on his knees
264
00:15:50,525 --> 00:15:52,530
asking you to marry him.
265
00:15:53,967 --> 00:15:56,672
And even though he isn't the
biggest fish in the pond,
266
00:15:56,673 --> 00:15:59,945
you go and you buy yourself
a nice wedding dress
267
00:15:59,946 --> 00:16:02,052
and head on out to Vegas.
268
00:16:03,689 --> 00:16:07,864
And on the way he tells
you he's got this problem,
269
00:16:09,168 --> 00:16:10,670
he has this little problem
270
00:16:10,671 --> 00:16:14,245
he's been keeping a
secret all of his life.
271
00:16:15,515 --> 00:16:19,155
And I am burning up
with anticipation
272
00:16:19,156 --> 00:16:22,062
and I tell you it's not
because of the desert heat,
273
00:16:22,063 --> 00:16:25,337
it's because I have
been saving myself.
274
00:16:27,809 --> 00:16:31,985
And so I say in my nicest
about-to-be-married voice
275
00:16:33,389 --> 00:16:37,231
"So, tell me about your
problem, sweetheart."
276
00:16:39,803 --> 00:16:41,373
And he lets it out.
277
00:16:45,081 --> 00:16:46,518
I mean out loud.
278
00:16:49,558 --> 00:16:52,465
I mean, he actually
said it to me.
279
00:16:54,502 --> 00:16:55,838
- What was it, sweetheart?
280
00:16:55,839 --> 00:16:57,276
You can tell us.
281
00:16:59,079 --> 00:17:00,148
- He said...
282
00:17:01,083 --> 00:17:02,085
- Yeah?
283
00:17:04,993 --> 00:17:05,994
- That he...
284
00:17:07,833 --> 00:17:08,834
- Yeah?
285
00:17:11,207 --> 00:17:13,612
- He said that he couldn't...
286
00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:16,786
- What?
287
00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:17,621
Get it up?
288
00:17:17,621 --> 00:17:18,456
What?
289
00:17:18,456 --> 00:17:19,291
- That's not funny!
290
00:17:19,291 --> 00:17:20,126
- Well, I'm sorry, I...
291
00:17:20,126 --> 00:17:20,962
- Don't say that.
292
00:17:20,962 --> 00:17:21,797
That's not funny.
293
00:17:21,798 --> 00:17:23,066
You're making fun of me.
294
00:17:23,067 --> 00:17:24,536
- Sorry, I didn't mean
it the way it sounded.
295
00:17:24,537 --> 00:17:26,006
It just it happens to some guys.
296
00:17:26,007 --> 00:17:27,543
It never happened to me,
personally, but it happens.
297
00:17:27,544 --> 00:17:29,113
- You are making fun of me.
298
00:17:29,114 --> 00:17:30,182
- No, I'm not making fun of you.
299
00:17:30,183 --> 00:17:31,418
I... I'm sorry.
300
00:17:36,764 --> 00:17:38,935
- If somebody doesn't
make love to me
301
00:17:38,936 --> 00:17:41,173
in the next five minutes,
302
00:17:41,174 --> 00:17:43,646
I am gonna blow my brains out.
303
00:17:43,647 --> 00:17:44,848
- Oh, Jesus Christ!
304
00:17:44,849 --> 00:17:47,188
- I can't stand it anymore!
305
00:17:49,358 --> 00:17:50,627
- Lady, put the gun down.
306
00:17:50,628 --> 00:17:53,334
- Please, pull this
car over right now,
307
00:17:53,335 --> 00:17:56,374
otherwise, I am gonna
blow my brains out.
308
00:17:56,375 --> 00:17:57,544
- Yes, ma'am.
309
00:18:20,663 --> 00:18:21,998
So, so, what do you think?
310
00:18:21,999 --> 00:18:23,802
Think she's gonna
blow her brains out?
311
00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:24,804
- Yeah.
312
00:18:25,807 --> 00:18:27,577
- How do you know that?
313
00:18:27,578 --> 00:18:29,415
- It's a woman thing.
314
00:18:30,618 --> 00:18:35,028
- Oh, so what the hell
are we supposed to do?
315
00:18:35,029 --> 00:18:37,133
- Just give me a minute.
316
00:18:40,373 --> 00:18:43,980
Listen, sweetheart,
everything's gonna be okay.
317
00:18:43,981 --> 00:18:45,350
I'm gonna being
my boyfriend over
318
00:18:45,351 --> 00:18:47,856
and he's a really good lover.
319
00:18:47,857 --> 00:18:50,896
He'll make love to you,
it's gonna be fine.
320
00:18:50,897 --> 00:18:51,898
Okay?
321
00:18:53,202 --> 00:18:55,607
Yeah, okay, come on let's go.
322
00:19:03,525 --> 00:19:05,328
- What's going on?
323
00:19:05,329 --> 00:19:06,932
- We're settled.
324
00:19:06,933 --> 00:19:08,302
- What is settled?
325
00:19:08,303 --> 00:19:09,806
- Well, you, she...
326
00:19:10,708 --> 00:19:11,543
- Oh, don't even say it.
327
00:19:11,544 --> 00:19:12,911
You gotta be kidding me.
328
00:19:12,912 --> 00:19:14,182
- Oh, come on!
329
00:19:16,889 --> 00:19:18,658
Come on, baby.
330
00:19:18,659 --> 00:19:22,601
If you can't do it for
her, do it for me, please?
331
00:19:22,602 --> 00:19:23,936
- Yeah, but, but, but...
332
00:19:23,937 --> 00:19:25,776
- As a special favor.
333
00:19:37,234 --> 00:19:39,506
Okay, it's okay, it's okay.
334
00:20:02,925 --> 00:20:03,927
Yes, ma'am.
335
00:20:23,404 --> 00:20:24,439
- I can't.
336
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:25,943
I just can't.
337
00:20:25,944 --> 00:20:27,813
- It's okay, ma'am.
338
00:20:27,814 --> 00:20:30,286
I was a little stiff
my first time too.
339
00:20:30,287 --> 00:20:32,724
That's very kind of you
to share that with me,
340
00:20:32,725 --> 00:20:36,066
but, there's another
reason why I can't.
341
00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:42,112
It's not because I don't find
you attractive, because I do.
342
00:20:42,113 --> 00:20:43,115
I really do.
343
00:20:45,054 --> 00:20:46,289
It's just that,
344
00:20:47,893 --> 00:20:51,232
well, I've got this tiny
little inheritance problem
345
00:20:51,233 --> 00:20:52,469
to solve first.
346
00:20:55,142 --> 00:20:57,613
My dear Daddy, before he died,
347
00:20:57,614 --> 00:21:01,557
he put this tiny clause
in his will that said:
348
00:21:03,060 --> 00:21:06,901
"Precious, honey" that's what
he liked to call me, Precious.
349
00:21:09,508 --> 00:21:13,416
He said, "If you want that
ten million dollar inheritance
350
00:21:13,417 --> 00:21:15,453
"that's coming to you,
351
00:21:15,454 --> 00:21:19,129
"well, there's just a
couple of tiny stipulations
352
00:21:19,130 --> 00:21:23,606
"that I'm sure won't cause
you any problem whatsoever."
353
00:21:23,607 --> 00:21:25,610
- Now, let me guess, ma'am...
354
00:21:25,611 --> 00:21:27,949
A, you've got to be married.
355
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:33,896
And B, you've got to be a
virgin on your wedding night.
356
00:21:53,339 --> 00:21:56,078
♪ Love and money, love and money
357
00:21:56,079 --> 00:21:59,586
♪ A little love and a
whole lot of money, honey
358
00:21:59,587 --> 00:22:02,893
♪ Love and money, love and money
359
00:22:02,894 --> 00:22:06,067
♪ A little love and
a whole lot of money
360
00:22:06,068 --> 00:22:07,972
- You wait and you wait
361
00:22:09,542 --> 00:22:12,616
and all of a sudden
you find yourself
362
00:22:14,019 --> 00:22:17,928
in a lovely, lovely honeymoon
suite in Las Vegas, Nevada
363
00:22:22,805 --> 00:22:24,810
with a good-looking man,
364
00:22:33,029 --> 00:22:34,031
a strong man
365
00:22:40,212 --> 00:22:43,151
and his lovely,
lovely sweetheart.
366
00:22:52,305 --> 00:22:56,948
Now, I know it may seem a
little out of the ordinary
367
00:22:56,949 --> 00:23:01,125
but, under the circumstances,
having waited so long, well,
368
00:23:03,330 --> 00:23:06,103
it just seems perfectly natural.
369
00:23:07,038 --> 00:23:08,507
- Oh, Precious,
370
00:23:08,508 --> 00:23:12,450
we just want your wedding
night to be all that it can be.
371
00:23:15,658 --> 00:23:16,660
- Young man,
372
00:23:18,063 --> 00:23:21,905
do you think you could
help me out of this dress?
373
00:23:23,074 --> 00:23:26,148
I just bought myself the
most precious peignoir
374
00:23:26,149 --> 00:23:28,151
in the hotel gift shop.
375
00:23:28,152 --> 00:23:30,390
And I'll just excuse myself
376
00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:35,134
and go over there into
that room to put it on.
377
00:23:38,476 --> 00:23:40,313
- Excuse me, ma'am but
378
00:23:45,191 --> 00:23:47,695
before we get started on this
379
00:23:47,696 --> 00:23:50,202
all it can be honeymoon night,
380
00:23:51,739 --> 00:23:56,515
do you mind if we have a
little conversation about that
381
00:23:56,516 --> 00:23:59,722
that ten million
dollar inheritance you
382
00:23:59,723 --> 00:24:02,062
- Oh, darling, not tonight.
383
00:24:06,671 --> 00:24:09,311
Excuse me, I'll be right back.
384
00:24:21,472 --> 00:24:23,776
- Come on, baby, we
gotta get outta here.
385
00:24:23,777 --> 00:24:26,014
I don't think we can trust her.
386
00:24:26,015 --> 00:24:29,221
- Hey, she's your wife, baby.
387
00:24:29,222 --> 00:24:31,461
- Goddamn, girl,
whose side are you on?
388
00:24:31,462 --> 00:24:32,462
- Our side.
389
00:24:33,232 --> 00:24:34,902
We're gonna be rich.
390
00:24:36,004 --> 00:24:37,607
Yeah!
391
00:24:37,608 --> 00:24:38,510
- Yeah!
392
00:24:38,511 --> 00:24:40,246
We're bad, baby!
393
00:24:40,247 --> 00:24:41,516
We're bad, baby!
394
00:24:41,517 --> 00:24:42,352
Bad!
395
00:24:42,353 --> 00:24:43,821
We're bad!
396
00:24:43,822 --> 00:24:45,558
Yeah, we're bad!
397
00:24:45,559 --> 00:24:47,128
Bad, bad, bad, bad!
398
00:24:47,129 --> 00:24:49,635
We're bad, Bad, bad, bad, bad!
399
00:24:58,455 --> 00:24:59,790
- Oh, Precious!
400
00:25:01,261 --> 00:25:03,031
Oh, you look lovely!
401
00:25:04,168 --> 00:25:06,673
- Gorgeous, darling, gorgeous.
402
00:25:09,312 --> 00:25:13,422
- I just have one itty bitty
little favor to ask of you.
403
00:25:17,363 --> 00:25:21,906
Would you be considering it
too much of an inconvenience
404
00:25:21,907 --> 00:25:23,577
to talk me through my first time
405
00:25:23,578 --> 00:25:26,350
like you started to
do in the country?
406
00:25:26,351 --> 00:25:29,358
I must say I found
it most helpful.
407
00:25:30,527 --> 00:25:31,762
- No, Precious.
408
00:25:37,175 --> 00:25:40,014
Now are you saying
you want my Harry
409
00:25:40,015 --> 00:25:43,924
to start off where you
left off in the country?
410
00:25:45,093 --> 00:25:46,795
- Yes, darling.
411
00:25:46,796 --> 00:25:50,972
I found the metal of the car
against my skin most exciting.
412
00:25:54,581 --> 00:25:58,355
Maybe we could recreate
that desired effect
413
00:25:58,356 --> 00:26:01,194
right here on this
little old bed.
414
00:26:01,195 --> 00:26:03,034
- Oh, excellent idea.
415
00:26:04,503 --> 00:26:08,945
- Excuse me, ma'am, but, ah,
getting down on your knees,
416
00:26:08,946 --> 00:26:11,818
that's something a man usually
does when he's courting,
417
00:26:11,819 --> 00:26:13,322
not with his wife.
418
00:26:14,459 --> 00:26:16,162
- Well, darling that's something
419
00:26:16,163 --> 00:26:18,768
I wouldn't know anything about.
420
00:26:33,969 --> 00:26:35,438
- Oooops, wait!
421
00:26:35,439 --> 00:26:36,374
- What?
422
00:26:36,375 --> 00:26:37,977
No, you're rushing, honey.
423
00:26:37,978 --> 00:26:39,714
You gotta take it slow.
424
00:26:39,715 --> 00:26:40,716
Here.
425
00:26:40,717 --> 00:26:41,986
Let me, let me show you.
426
00:26:41,987 --> 00:26:43,790
Here, take this and film it
427
00:26:43,791 --> 00:26:46,697
just in case you need to
refer to it in the future.
428
00:26:46,698 --> 00:26:50,304
See, you got to take it
slow and take your time.
429
00:26:50,305 --> 00:26:51,909
You can't rush it.
430
00:26:54,014 --> 00:26:56,685
The most important
thing in life,
431
00:26:56,686 --> 00:27:00,629
is to make sure this
lasts as long as possible.
432
00:27:04,572 --> 00:27:06,474
Don't rush it, honey.
433
00:27:06,475 --> 00:27:09,715
You have to just,
hm, get in the water
434
00:27:12,222 --> 00:27:14,894
and let the current do the work.
435
00:27:16,498 --> 00:27:17,433
I think I got the idea.
436
00:27:17,434 --> 00:27:18,902
Why don't you let me try?
437
00:27:18,903 --> 00:27:20,071
- You don't need to ask.
438
00:27:20,072 --> 00:27:21,007
He's your husband.
439
00:27:21,007 --> 00:27:21,944
- That's right.
440
00:27:21,945 --> 00:27:23,614
- Come on, darling.
441
00:27:24,951 --> 00:27:26,653
- I am floating.
442
00:27:26,654 --> 00:27:28,324
- No, baby, I aint floating.
443
00:27:28,325 --> 00:27:29,928
- You are floating.
444
00:27:43,993 --> 00:27:47,266
Teach me, baby,
come on, teach me.
445
00:27:47,267 --> 00:27:49,971
Oh, God, am I floating too fast?
446
00:27:49,972 --> 00:27:52,010
- No, honey, you're doing great.
447
00:27:52,011 --> 00:27:53,546
- You're doing just fine.
448
00:27:53,547 --> 00:27:56,019
- Here, let me just step in
just for an itty bitty minute.
449
00:27:56,020 --> 00:27:57,290
There, hang in.
450
00:28:03,102 --> 00:28:04,304
- Darling, are you sure
451
00:28:04,305 --> 00:28:05,947
this is the first time
you ever did this?
452
00:28:14,394 --> 00:28:17,434
- I don't think this
is the first time.
453
00:28:17,435 --> 00:28:19,372
- Oh, baby, I love it!
454
00:28:39,918 --> 00:28:40,921
- We're bad!
455
00:28:41,889 --> 00:28:42,890
We're bad!
456
00:28:59,663 --> 00:29:01,299
- "I guess you probably
457
00:29:01,300 --> 00:29:02,535
"have it figured out
by now, Red Shoes,
458
00:29:02,536 --> 00:29:05,140
"that A, Precious
was not an heiress,
459
00:29:05,141 --> 00:29:07,144
"there was not ten
million dollars,
460
00:29:07,146 --> 00:29:09,484
"B, she was not
even from the south,
461
00:29:09,485 --> 00:29:11,221
"she was from upstate New York,
462
00:29:11,222 --> 00:29:12,724
"but her accent was good,
463
00:29:12,725 --> 00:29:15,731
"and C, which I know is gonna
be hard for you to believe,
464
00:29:15,732 --> 00:29:19,439
"Precious was definitely
not a virgin."
465
00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:20,742
That's what you were saying.
466
00:29:20,743 --> 00:29:22,547
You said she wasn't a virgin.
467
00:29:23,382 --> 00:29:25,520
I argued with you.
468
00:29:25,521 --> 00:29:26,689
You were right.
469
00:29:26,690 --> 00:29:27,971
I apologize.
503
31584
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