All language subtitles for Red Shoe Diaries (1992) S02E05 Burning Up AI.en

- Stella, you caught me.

Interesting, isn't it?

Whenever I'm feeling
lonely or rotten,

I can just rip open one
of these letters and

there it is, someone's soul
right out before me there.

Their darkest dreams, their
hopes and their fears.

Hey, listen to this one.

Firemen.

Have you ever noticed how
good looking most of them are?

And strong, and
committed, and brave.

October 12th.

Dear diary,

the dogs and cats
were jumpy today.

I was, too.

It's kind of like
that feeling you get

before an earthquake
or a plane crash,

sort of a low-grade fever,

a prickly itch
underneath the skin.

Damn.

- Even Dr.
- Martin was not his usual self.

- It's me who's getting
the blood poisoning.

It could
have been the Santa Anna's,

the full moon,

the overall effects
of global warming.

Whatever.

That weird feeling was
getting more palatable

with each passing moment.

The freeway was jammed
on the way home,

so I got off on
Sepulveda, got lost,

and ended up on streets
I never knew existed.

- Hello?

Hello?

Fire, there's a house on fire!

I tried to remember

ever being held that way.

Only once maybe, I was two
or three and I had the croup,

and my dad held me in his arms
and walked back and forth,

and even though it was
late and he was tired,

he just kept walking and singing

until the sun came up
and the cough went away.

That night, when I
finally fell asleep,

I dreamt of water

and of fire

and the fireman.

Water.

Sometimes I dream I'm
floating in water.

Floating with my arms
outstretched with

No sound, nothing.

I woke up in the middle of
the night, covered with sweat,

burning with shame.

Most of my life, I've
stayed calm and cool

by avoiding personal questions.

Today, I had to work doubly hard

not to ask myself anything.

And most of all, not
to give any answers.

- Come here.

Sit down.

You're hot.

- I.

- Open your mouth.

- I.

- Just put your head
back just a little bit.

Bet you didn't know I was a
real medical doctor, did you?

Yeah, I practiced for a while,

but I wasn't cut out for
putting up with people.

Animals are better,
you know what I mean?

It's 102, you're definitely
coming down with something.

Why don't you take the
rest of the day off.

You feel better, you
come back tomorrow.

Okay?

- Dr.
Martin gave me the day off.

I should have gone
to the library,

but just for the heck of it,

I drove by the fire
station instead.

I was sort of like that
dog that bit Dr. Martin.

I just couldn't let go.

Still, questions kept
crowding into my head.

Like, was there ever a time
when I felt what he was feeling,

proud and strong, and
totally triumphant?

Had I ever run like the wind?

Had I ever known danger?

Had I ever taken a
step into the unknown?

When was the last time
I was close enough

to fire to get burned?

October 14th.

Dear diary, last
night was no different

from the night before.

Dreams of water,

dreams of fire,

dreams of the fireman,

over and over again.

- Hello?

Oh, hello Dr. Martin.

Yes, I'm still.

I'll just lay low for a while.

Thank you for your concern.

Bye.

No more questions, only answers,

unwanted, unexpected,

came flooding down on me.

The last time I was
dizzy was when I was five

and blindfolded, and someone
was spinning me around

to pin the tail on the donkey.

The last time I faced
the danger of the unknown

was when I was six,
and my sister dared me

to go down into the fruit
cellar without a flashlight.

The last time I got close
enough to get burned by fire

was when I was eight, and I
was lighting Christmas candles.

- I'll take two more.

Hello.

Have I seen you before?

The library?

Vegetarian restaurant
over on Pico?

Saturday afternoon bible group?

Well, you take care, okay?

This isn't a great place for

a nice girl like
you to be alone.

All right?

So, take care.

Dreams of water, dreams of fire.

Maybe it was the fever
that made me do it.

I don't know.

Later, I wondered
how many people

were making love
at that same time.

Thousands and thousands,

millions maybe.

Mouths together,
bodies together,

hearts beating in time.

Two people together
in restaurants

and restrooms and beds and cars,

on couches and under tables,

on park benches,

in bushes under the stars.

Am I the only one alone?

The other day.

- Yeah?

When you were talking about how

you weren't cut out
for treating people,

and you liked animals instead.

- Yeah.

- Well, I was wondering why.

- Well, first of all,
animals don't bite

as hard as people do.

Their scars don't
take so long to heal,

if you know what I mean.

And, second of all,
animals don't talk back.

Do they, Sam?

- Don't you sometimes
wish they did?

I mean, wouldn't
it be nice if Sam

could tell you
what's bothering him?

I mean, it'd be so simple
if you could just say,

how you doing Sam,
and he could say well,

I got a sharp pain in
my heart and, just.

- How are you feeling, Lyn?

I mean, you look hot.

You feel hot.

But you don't look sick.

You look

different.

You look good.

I mean really good.

I mean um,

you feel all right?

- I feel fine.

- Yeah?

- Really, I feel fine.

Red Baron
to the Pearl Street Boys.

Rise and shine darlings.

We've got a two alarm
over on Michigan and 28th.

- That's two blocks away.

Dreams of water, dreams of fire.

I thought about my life
stretching ahead like a desert.

No hearts on fire for me,

no blaze of glory.

That's the trouble with deserts.

Just heat waves and hills
that all look alike.

You climb one hill
and there's another,

and pretty soon you're saying,

I don't know if I
can keep this up.

Something's gotta give.

Dreams of water,

dreams of fire,

dreams of the fireman.

Dreams of water, dreams of fire,

dreams of the fireman,

over and over again.

This must be what I
was sensing all along.

Not an earthquake,
or the ozone breakup,

or the riots, or
the global warming,

but something breaking
and quaking and riding

and warming inside of me.

Like I had no idea
I was a peeping Tom,

or a voyeur,

or a hypochondriac
for that matter,

but I was.

And that surprised me, and
pleased me, and made me happy,

and I figured there
was noplace else to go

and nothing left to do.

- Dr. Martin?

And I couldn't stop myself.

- It's me, Lyn.

And so I
did the craziest thing of all.

- I uh, I know it's early,

and I know it sounds
crazy but I just,

no, I don't want
you to be alarmed.

My fever seems to be gone.

I'm feeling fine, I just...

I'm sorry for waking you.

I just, I was thinking,

I mean I was wondering,

I mean I was hoping maybe...

Do you want to talk?

Well, that's one way to go about

getting what she wants, fella.

Fighting fire with fire.

What do you think, Stella?

Did it work?