Original subtitles

- Stella, you caught me.

Interesting, isn't it?

Whenever I'm feeling lonely or rotten,

I can just rip open one of these letters and

there it is, someone's soul right out before me there.

Their darkest dreams, their hopes and their fears.

Hey, listen to this one.

Firemen.

Have you ever noticed how good looking most of them are?

And strong, and committed, and brave.

October 12th.

Dear diary,

the dogs and cats were jumpy today.

I was, too.

It's kind of like that feeling you get

before an earthquake or a plane crash,

sort of a low-grade fever,

a prickly itch underneath the skin.

Damn.

- Even Dr. - Martin was not his usual self.

- It's me who's getting the blood poisoning.

It could have been the Santa Anna's,

the full moon,

the overall effects of global warming.

Whatever.

That weird feeling was getting more palatable

with each passing moment.

The freeway was jammed on the way home,

so I got off on Sepulveda, got lost,

and ended up on streets I never knew existed.

- Hello?

Hello?

Fire, there's a house on fire!

I tried to remember

ever being held that way.

Only once maybe, I was two or three and I had the croup,

and my dad held me in his arms and walked back and forth,

and even though it was late and he was tired,

he just kept walking and singing

until the sun came up and the cough went away.

That night, when I finally fell asleep,

I dreamt of water

and of fire

and the fireman.

Water.

Sometimes I dream I'm floating in water.

Floating with my arms outstretched with

No sound, nothing.

I woke up in the middle of the night, covered with sweat,

burning with shame.

Most of my life, I've stayed calm and cool

by avoiding personal questions.

Today, I had to work doubly hard

not to ask myself anything.

And most of all, not to give any answers.

- Come here.

Sit down.

You're hot.

- I.

- Open your mouth.

- I.

- Just put your head back just a little bit.

Bet you didn't know I was a real medical doctor, did you?

Yeah, I practiced for a while,

but I wasn't cut out for putting up with people.

Animals are better, you know what I mean?

It's 102, you're definitely coming down with something.

Why don't you take the rest of the day off.

You feel better, you come back tomorrow.

Okay?

- Dr. Martin gave me the day off.

I should have gone to the library,

but just for the heck of it,

I drove by the fire station instead.

I was sort of like that dog that bit Dr. Martin.

I just couldn't let go.

Still, questions kept crowding into my head.

Like, was there ever a time when I felt what he was feeling,

proud and strong, and totally triumphant?

Had I ever run like the wind?

Had I ever known danger?

Had I ever taken a step into the unknown?

When was the last time I was close enough

to fire to get burned?

October 14th.

Dear diary, last night was no different

from the night before.

Dreams of water,

dreams of fire,

dreams of the fireman,

over and over again.

- Hello?

Oh, hello Dr. Martin.

Yes, I'm still.

I'll just lay low for a while.

Thank you for your concern.

Bye.

No more questions, only answers,

unwanted, unexpected,

came flooding down on me.

The last time I was dizzy was when I was five

and blindfolded, and someone was spinning me around

to pin the tail on the donkey.

The last time I faced the danger of the unknown

was when I was six, and my sister dared me

to go down into the fruit cellar without a flashlight.

The last time I got close enough to get burned by fire

was when I was eight, and I was lighting Christmas candles.

- I'll take two more.

Hello.

Have I seen you before?

The library?

Vegetarian restaurant over on Pico?

Saturday afternoon bible group?

Well, you take care, okay?

This isn't a great place for

a nice girl like you to be alone.

All right?

So, take care.

Dreams of water, dreams of fire.

Maybe it was the fever that made me do it.

I don't know.

Later, I wondered how many people

were making love at that same time.

Thousands and thousands,

millions maybe.

Mouths together, bodies together,

hearts beating in time.

Two people together in restaurants

and restrooms and beds and cars,

on couches and under tables,

on park benches,

in bushes under the stars.

Am I the only one alone?

The other day.

- Yeah?

When you were talking about how

you weren't cut out for treating people,

and you liked animals instead.

- Yeah.

- Well, I was wondering why.

- Well, first of all, animals don't bite

as hard as people do.

Their scars don't take so long to heal,

if you know what I mean.

And, second of all, animals don't talk back.

Do they, Sam?

- Don't you sometimes wish they did?

I mean, wouldn't it be nice if Sam

could tell you what's bothering him?

I mean, it'd be so simple if you could just say,

how you doing Sam, and he could say well,

I got a sharp pain in my heart and, just.

- How are you feeling, Lyn?

I mean, you look hot.

You feel hot.

But you don't look sick.

You look

different.

You look good.

I mean really good.

I mean um,

you feel all right?

- I feel fine.

- Yeah?

- Really, I feel fine.

Red Baron to the Pearl Street Boys.

Rise and shine darlings.

We've got a two alarm over on Michigan and 28th.

- That's two blocks away.

Dreams of water, dreams of fire.

I thought about my life stretching ahead like a desert.

No hearts on fire for me,

no blaze of glory.

That's the trouble with deserts.

Just heat waves and hills that all look alike.

You climb one hill and there's another,

and pretty soon you're saying,

I don't know if I can keep this up.

Something's gotta give.

Dreams of water,

dreams of fire,

dreams of the fireman.

Dreams of water, dreams of fire,

dreams of the fireman,

over and over again.

This must be what I was sensing all along.

Not an earthquake, or the ozone breakup,

or the riots, or the global warming,

but something breaking and quaking and riding

and warming inside of me.

Like I had no idea I was a peeping Tom,

or a voyeur,

or a hypochondriac for that matter,

but I was.

And that surprised me, and pleased me, and made me happy,

and I figured there was noplace else to go

and nothing left to do.

- Dr. Martin?

And I couldn't stop myself.

- It's me, Lyn.

And so I did the craziest thing of all.

- I uh, I know it's early,

and I know it sounds crazy but I just,

no, I don't want you to be alarmed.

My fever seems to be gone.

I'm feeling fine, I just...

I'm sorry for waking you.

I just, I was thinking,

I mean I was wondering,

I mean I was hoping maybe...

Do you want to talk?

Well, that's one way to go about

getting what she wants, fella.

Fighting fire with fire.

What do you think, Stella?

Did it work?