Original subtitles

Hey Buddy? You okay?

It's okay.

You're gonna be okay--

- Larry? - I'm good. We're good.

Are you all right?

This is bad.

We've been here before, Battered, bruised.

But we lick our wounds and rise from the ashes,

stronger than ever before.

Are you seriously trying to give us a rally speech right now?

I am. Because that's exactly what we're going to do.

Rally and march to Florida, and save Cliff.

Oh, I get it. You've flipped your pancake.

Have you not been paying attention?

The bus is totaled.

Larry's worm is going haywire.

Look at Jane!

Jane will spring back. She always does.

Everything will be fine.

It's gonna be fine. She screamed.

Kids scream all the time

Kay?

Kay?

See?

She's back, like a spring lily.

Not a moment too soon.

These two were of the mind that we should turn around

instead of continuing to Florida. Can you believe it?

Yeah, I don't think I'm in any shape to help anyone right now.

So, that's it?

Are we really just going to abandon Cliff?

We can fix this.

We have to fix this.

Don't you get it?

We didn't crash because Jane screamed or Larry lost control of that thing.

He's right. We're not built for this.

Not anymore, no.

Since I've known you all, we've always argued this point.

but now, I finally see your side. Crystal clear.

We're not a super team.

Oh, no!

I thought we were done with all this.

No. Whatever you're up to, I want no part of it.

You were unsatisfied with the results of The Flagellation.

But if only you could see the effect it had on people across the globe,

The only thing I saw was Laura de Mille

waltzing off completely unscathed and unrepentant.

- You don't know that. Nor do you.

So, I'm going to do with my bare hands

what you couldn't with song and dance and masked fucking birds.

Is this what Malcolm would've wanted for?

We'll never know.

She betrayed us all, Rita.

But I know she isn't completely lost.

And neither are you.

- Oh, fuck! -Bonjour, madame.

Where the fuck am I?

This is where the Brotherhood deposits its garbage.

What?

Look on the bright side.

I've spent the better part of an evening debating whether or not to toss you over

and you're still alive.

Well, you best get on with it because when I get out of these

I am going to rip you apart. I will have your hand for an ashtray.

We had it good here.

- But you have ruined everything

Now The Brain has his new body

and the cycle of conquest will begin anew.

I realize I must put this business of "Evil"

behind me and move on.

And so, I thank you,

for being the catalyst for my change.

Well, you could thank me by getting me off this fucking gurney!

You are every bit as cunning and devious as The Brain.

Cut from the same awful cloth.

I have no doubt you'll figure it out.

Mallah!

Uh, you can't just leave me.

You fucking son of a simian whore!

Fuck!

Shit.

Oh shit!

Look, I don't know what you have in mind, but I'm not ready for "this".

We heard your distress.

And it was high time we find you anyway

Hey, Hammerhead?

Oh, you're gonna eyefuck me?

Hey. You bag of shit!

- Jane! - Jane!

Wait up!

God damn! What the hell is that thing?

It's trying to kill me!

It hates me. It fucking hates me.

Keeg doesn't hate you.

You can talk to this thing?

Keeg?

I am fluent in most languages.

Including light and color.

He needs to merge with you.

That's not gonna happen. That's not who I am.

Not anymore.

Then he will die. Soon.

I hope you assholes are happy.

The Girl is fucked because of you.

The Girl made it plain as day she doesn't want us around anymore.

So, field trip's over. We need to get everyone out of here now.

Dr. Harrison says we are safer in The Fog.

And when exactly did you become Dr. Harrison's little bitch?

We only exist because of The Girl.

What?

There's something you need to see.

Ooh!

Ladies!

Gary, you dog!

It's a good day to be The Brain.

You going somewhere, you little shit?

Holy Mother of God!

Where am I? I feel weird.

Yeah, well, you're a giant robot now

and we're about to exact revenge on the little shit

that stole your body and tried to kill us.

Congratulations and you're welcome!

This isn't fair. I don't deserve this. I'm The Brain--

You're what? Dog shit on the bottom of my shoe?

Uh, question. Was that the sound of my one and only body being pancaked?

Yeah, it was phenomenal.

Next stop? Doom Manor and Rita fucking Farr.

Remember when we all thought you were an Ottoman?

Oh, my God!

Are they all sick?

Jane!

I'm sorry.

I was scared.

I didn't want to be alone.

It's going to be okay.

We'll fix this.

Now is not the time for you to burst in and rile everyone up.

- Something's happened to The Girl. - I heard.

Good thing we got out when we did.

The Underground crumbled and collapsed.

Just like everyone in here. It's connected.

- That's certainly a theory. - Cut the shit.

What's it going to take for you to come back and get the others to go with you?

You're angry. I get it. But can't you just leave me out of your shit?

Sorry. This thing runs on brain power. Even the dimmest of bulbs.

So you're shit out of luck.

Come on. I've known you for a couple of days.

But that's been long enough to know you're not really all the way, next level "evil."

Yeah, well, I am who I am.

Bull. Fucking. Shit. There's always a chance to change.

Take me for example. I'm every bit the dickhead you are.

But back in that pickle jar, with my brain cut off from all sensation,

I had a revelation or whatever.

I'm going to do everything I can, work as hard as possible,

to try and change myself. And if I can do it, I know you can too.

So stop this thing now.

Stop!

Stop!

Stop!

Cliff?

What did you do?

Um...

Go!

Check it out, Shitbird.

Look who's in control now!

Cliff.

Change it back.

What? You'll kill me? Go ahead. I'm already fucking dying.

Wait.

What are you doing?

Not to say every moment is a teachable moment.

But let's pause and celebrate the fact that you didn't murder me.

Which means there's a non-fuckwad person deep in there.

Hello?

Hello?

Fuck. What do I do now? I'm trapped in a robot body.

Wait. I'm always trapped in a robot body.

Reel it in, man.

He's not looking too good.

In other words, time to shit or get off the pot.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Am I being too contemplative how I just parted ways with the previous alien creature

who made me his home for 60 absolutely shitty years?

Look, I get it.

- My uncle has a Golden Retriever named Bo.

I loved playing with Bo every time I'd visit.

But as I got older, Bo always stayed fit as a fiddle.

Then, at a certain point I finally realized it.

The Bo I was playing with at 14 was not the same Bo that I played with when I was eight.

Every time Bo gets old and he dies

my uncle couldn't handle the pain, so he gets another Bo.

- Let Keeg be your Bo. Oh, God.

That's kind of fucked up, right?

To keep naming it Bo.

Yeah, it's also a grossmisrepresentation of what I'm going through.

Look, until this moment, every major event in my life was forced on me.

Society forced me into my marriage.

The Chief pulled the strings to have me cross paths with the Negative Spirit.

But if I let him in, it will be my choice.

And if it goes sideways, which it always does, then I'm the only one to blame.

Maybe I should've just left him in the woods. To the elements.

All I've really done is just drawn this experience out.

Hey.

Forget who you were and the choices you didn't make.

You chose not to leave Keeg in the woods

and you're not about to abandon him here now because that's not the person you are.

Do you remember the conversation that you had with your subconscious

during the Flagellation?

You told yourself that you needed to let love in.

This is your chance.

The Spirit was closer to you than anyone else.

It chose you.

Let it in.

Cliff.

What did they do to you?

Take a guess.

You're The Brain.

And you're Rita Farr. Fucking Garguax.

Love me.

Love me.

Love me.

You're new.

Rita, you clever pain in the ass.

Madame Rouge powered up the vessel,

ready to burrow through space and time.

But then the question came to her.

Burrow to where and when exactly7

Anywhere but here. Any time but now.

I need to stop myself from ever working with The Brotherhood.

Wait. What am I thinking? I need to go back farther. I can...

stop myself and save the others.

I can save Malcolm.

She suddenly found herself awash in humanity.

Grasping the gilded handle of a noble cause.

No. Further. Before I was me.

Before Rouge. Before Laura De Mille.

But then, she had to ask herself,

who was Madame Rouge before she was Laura De Mille?

I'm not sure, but not this.

I just want to start over.

She mused. Not yet aware that the past could not be changed.

0h, go and shit in your fucking your hat.

She tried to play it off. But she knew the machine was quite correct.

What has happened will always be.

What do you mean? How do I make things right then?

How do I make myself right? I...

I need to change. Enough with the "where" and the "when"!

I just need some fucking answers!

Why am I talking to another fucking robot?

So, where and when would you like to go?

Kay needs us. And I need you to make that happen.

The others respect you. They listen to you.

Why would we give up our freedom? We can go anywhere The Fog goes.

I could just have The Fog give you all the boot.

- She likes me. - But she'll do whatever I say, if need be.

I want you to ask yourself, If the roles were reversed

and we were on the other side of the rocks,

do you think that girl would dig us out?

I know Kay well enough to know that she would never let

any of us crumble away to nothing,

which is what happens as long as we stay here.

Do you realize what you're asking us to give up?

We've only just begun to embrace our freedom.

Holy shit.

You don't care about freedom.

What you love is control.

You'd rather die, and kill all of us, than give that up.

Or maybe we can do something about that.

Go on.

- Hurry up. - I'm trying.

Something's not right.

It just keeps swiping at your bandages.

They're designed to be radiation proof.

Maybe they're too strong for him.

- Let me carry him. - What? No.

Are you insane?

Just until we get back to the house and we can use your room.

- It's radiation proof. - Vic. It could kill you.

That's my choice. Rita was right.

I was afraid to go after the Brotherhood of Evil

because I don't have my powers anymore.

I let Cliff down. I'm not about to make the same mistake with you.

All right.

Now, we don't know each other, but I'm here to help.

We're hearing reports of a giant robot

wandering the suburbs of Panama City, Florida.

Ah, jeez. Where's the Justice League when you need 'em?

Hey, Clara. - What the fuck?

- So, your dad popped by. Hi, honeybun.

It's me!

Dad? What the fuck happened?

- Are you in that thing? - I guess I kind of am this thing now.

I assumed you'd be worried and I wanted to swing by and let you know that I'm okay.

- I even have central A/ - C!

And I know this is, like, my ninth second chance,

but I came because I know

you want me to change, and I'm ready to.

Yeah, I didn't mean like this.

I know you meant "real" change.

I thought I'd start with the good old-fashioned "apologies-in-advance" tour.

And, you had to be the first stop.

Okay, You don't need to worry about the credit card stuff.

We just need to get your meds checked.

This is beyond that.

I've been a shitty dad.

Way before Parkinson's, before becoming dumb robot.

I pulled shit when you were too young to remember,

but I can't forget. I guess...

I always wanted to be special. You know? I wanted to be "the man."

I was so focused on being great, I forgot to be good.

- It's okay, Dad. - No, it's really not.

But I know now, the only people I need to be special to

are you and Rory.

I don't need you be special.

I need you to get healthy.

I can do that, too! You'll see!

But I should go.

We'll have to make things right for my friends.

And before the cops come.

I accidentally stepped on a Prius a couple of streets over.

"I want you to know that I cherish our time spent together

as well as our friendship, which was one for the ages.

In the interest of offering both of us a fresh start,

- I have left behind anything connecting me to you.

And the Brotherhood of Evil.

Best, Mallah."

Can you believe this?

Mmm-hmm. - A lifetime as friends and partners,

leader and acolyte, and he skidoos on me.

I taught him everything he knows,

and all I have to show for it is a bandolier

an extremely temperamental ray gun,

his teleporter, and my Alanis Morissette CD

that he assured me was stolen from our car years ago.

Less than 24 hours ago, I had the world by the short hairs.

- And now-- - No legs.

Life's a bitch, right?

The good news is that I still have the blueprints for this body.

- You do? - I can rebuild.

But I need some help.

- Oh? - Come on.

It's obvious you've been dancing around the darkness.

How 'bout this? You help me rebuild,

and I'll help you kill Rouge.

And then, you will truly know evil.

You can... guarantee this?

That I'll get Rouge?

Miss Farr, if you team with me, We could kill Madame Rouge,

Colonel Mustard and Professor fucking Plum for all the shits I give.

Hmm.

There we go. That's a good girl.

I suppose Rouge and I are alike.

However, we are different in one regard.

And what's that?

Rouge is driven by one thing.

Power.

She couldn't get enough.

I am motivated

by love.

My love for a very sweet, brave man she destroyed.

And my love for my friends.

I think I'm done dancing around in the dark.

I'm ready to take that plunge.

- Right now. - Please. I can give you anything you want.

- I can give you the world!

All right.

- We're almost there.

I got you.

Here we are. Home again.

Partially safe.

- Mostly sound. - Thanks.

Were you really just...

helping the others?

Or were you trying to draw me in?

Which answer might get you to come and search for me again?

Fuck me sideways.

This is bad.

Finally, it's my time to shine.

From here on, we're ants.

We're going to start at the top of this mess and dig down.

Ants, motherfuckers!

See? We made it. Touchdown.

Shut up.

Thank you, Vic.

I swear... I will try my best

to do right by you.

Always.

It's okay.

Go on.

- Welcome.

Larry?

It's all right, everyone.

It's happening up above.

Let's focus on the task at hand. Come on.

What the fuck did you give up to get Harrison to come back down?

What does she love more than anything else?

Control.

Are you fuck... Is she primary now?

Can you even give that away?

What's Kay going to say about this?

I'll worry about that once I know she's safe.

- That rumbling have anything to do with your moron buddies? - What do you think?

Come on. Get back to work, everyone.

I'm no one's bitch.

Now get back up there.

Come on, get back to work.

What in the hell?

What the fuck are you doing here?

Okay. Who exactly are you? 'Cause, I know I know you.

A note.

- For me.

"You are Madame Rouge. You are a terrible person, but trying to change.

You will come across people who despise you.

Jane dresses like a...

deranged sock puppet."

- Fair. -"And Larry...

Boris Karloff."

- No, no, Larry? - He's indisposed. He just had a baby.

It's Larry's story to tell.

"And Vic. Track suit, stick up ass."

Oh, it's you.

"And everyone hates you especially, Rita.

You killed her greatest love."

Oh my God, am I that horrible?

Bitch, you turned into a killer baby, so, yeah.

Oh, you've got to be kidding me with this shit.

Hey, guys! It's me. Cliff?

Oh. "A drug addled android."

Please don't hate me. I've come to make amends.

I even brought back most of the shit I stole from you.

- Incoming!

- You're scuffing my sneakers! - You're breaking my vinyl!

Fuck me! What's going on?

Slow down, asshole!

Fucking Parkinson's disease!

He's headed straight for town.

Jane! You're here! Does that mean things are all good with us?

Shut up and tell me how to stop this thing.

Uh, I'm not sure.

Sort of took control from Rouge, but I'm still figuring it out.

And I fucked up. And I have Parkinson's. So, there's that.

Why can't you stop yourself?

I thought you were taking fistfuls of meds.

Well, that? That went out the window when I got kidnapped.

and shoved into a fucking transformer.

Can you transform?

No.

Fuck!

So, do you do anything heroic, or?

I'm still figuring that out.

Got it.

You're a useless person.

Larry?

If you're in there, we need you to help stop Cliff.

He's the big ass robot.

That was rubbish.

Wait here.

Okay.

"These people you will meet are morons.

If they get into trouble, and they will, you can and should help.

This is the key to your redemption."

Wait, I can help!

You're not doing anything.

You must be Rita.

It's okay. Just Flit outta here and save yourself.

Fuck that! I am not leaving you.

Okay, okay.

One of these buttons or switches should shut your sorry ass down.

Okay.

What's that?

What's happening?

Uh, pretty sure you just pulled the self-destruct lever.

What?

You fucker!

I'm the fucker? You're the fucking one--

Fuck you! That was a very important detail!

You don't remember me, do you?

Don't look at your notes!

Look at my face.

I want you to remember.

Malcolm! Malcolm!

How could you do this to us?

- Weapon. - We were a family.

I destroyed it.

You built a beautiful life with Malcolm

and I destroyed it all.

I'm sorry, Rita.

You have every right to kill me.

- But... - But what?

I'm not worth it.

So, we explode, destroy a baseball game,

- maybe take out a mini mall.

Then NORAD scrambles the jets.

Cool! Maybe some of those stealth bombers.

- Yeah. Silent but deadly.

Well, I just wanted to say thank you.

for always calling me on my bullshit,

and for always forgiving me for my bullshit.

Yeah, well, you're pathetic.

So it makes you easy to forgive.

That's it? That's all I get?

No.

Robot!

Cliff, stop!

We should have waited another minute to say goodbye.

I'm uncomfortable.

Please, just shut up.

Let's explode in peace and quiet.

Cliff. Are you alright?

I want to go home.

We can do that.

Reports say the menacing robot's path of destruction

stretched all the way from Florida,

until it was halted by a group of super-powered eccentrics

before it could destroy the small suburb of Cloverton.

As many will recall...

"Eccentrics"?

That's an upgrade from "misfits".

We're lucky. We could have caused serious damage to Cloverton. Again.

Or maybe there was no damage

because we are different from the careless, clueless people

who strolled into town the last time.

Am I the only one who is tired of letting the world label us?

"Misfit", "Eccentric", "Good", "Evil", "Weapon".

It's time we choose to label ourselves.

Who are we?

What are we?

Why are we?

Maybe we are weapons,

but a weapon is only a tool as dangerous as the hand that wields it.

What if we choose to become weapons for good?

Are you saying you want us to become super fucking heroes?

So you wait until after I ditch my gear to come around to this?

We did something great today. We were of service.

- We saved a town. - From us.

We're not perfect, but...

we're trying to be good,

which is more than most.

I'm in.

Yeah.

Keeg and I will give it a try.

Hell yeah! I'm all in.

I'll do it.

If you'll have me.

Are you honestly expecting me to believe that you've changed?

I haven't.

But I want to try.

- Like the rest of you. I'll vouch for her.

Fine.

I suppose this is the easiest way to keep an eye on you.

Yeah. Up, up and away or whatever.

Fuck yeah! I got our team name. Doom Force.

It'll be sweet.

We'll get costumes with a bunch of pockets and shit...

Wait, shh. Hold on.

We take you live to the Suez Canal, where moments ago, a creature

has emerged from the Mediterranean Sea and caused utter devastation.

Witnesses on the ground...

What kind of monster is that?

That's not a monster.

That's a big nut sack with demon pubes.

- Bingo Actually,

that sack is fate.

Are we not a super team?

Do we not need a super foe?

And how do we even get to the Suez?

Oh, any chance Flit could...

I have an idea.

Where's Kay? Is she alright?

We'll get to that soon enough.

But first, we had a deal, Jane,

And it's time for you to make good.

This has to be the most people I've ever had inside me.

Came close at an infield party in Talladega back in the day,

but, yeah, this is the record.

It looks slightly less scrotal in black and white.

That about covers it, right?

Looks good to me.

Everyone ready?

Hey, don't worry, buddy.

Okay. Well, I think I'd feel more comfortable if I was driving.

You'll pilot nothing.

You are lucky to be here.

You have yet to earn the trust it takes to steer us through space and time.

How is everything looking down there, Rita?

We're set to arrive at the Suez Canal three minutes into the future.

Are we maybe rushing into this?

Absolutely.

Now then, shall we?

Let's kick those balls in the nuts!

♪ Speak about destruction ♪

♪ Speak about destruction ♪

♪ Speak about destruction ♪

♪ The Democratic-Communist Relationship ♪

♪ Won't stand in the way Of the Islamic force ♪

Doom Force!

No!

♪ Brainwash mentalities To control the system ♪

♪ Using TV and movies Religions of course ♪

♪ Yes, the world is Headed for destruction ♪

♪ Is it a nuclear war? What are you asking for? ♪

♪ This is a world destruction Your life ain't nothing♪

♪ The human race Is becoming a disgrace ♪

♪ The rich get richer The poor are getting poorer ♪

♪ Fascist, chauvinistic Government fools ♪

♪ I'm in a timezone ♪