Original subtitles

Conceived by PHOTON PROJECT

Oh, darn it!

I'm stuck in here and I can't even use my Aho!

I don't know what's going on anymore!

Why is Keyne the key? What's a Galactic Funhouse?

Is it edible? Is it yummy?

You don't understand, eh? Who could blame you?

Amoebic simpletons like you really kill me.

If it weren't for my outstanding and generous nature,

I would have illegally dumped you like some oversize garbage.

However, my intellect doesn't allow such behavior.

In other words, you're lucky.

Screw you, jackass!

Indeed, your luck exceeds that of this planet in its lifetime,

from the time your ancestors were single-celled blob...

to the moment this puny planet is engulfed by the swelling sun.

I see, you're really curious about all this. OK, I'll oblige.

Mind you, my humility is deeper than the depth of the universe.

Even so, I cannot help admiring my own greatness.

I, Great Papacharino Nanadan, will personally explain it...

with comprehensive illustrations designed especially...

for the intelligence level of a mitochondrion.

So here it goes:

In order to control the Galactic Anti-Aho Furnace,

Count Papacha captured Keyne and became the King of the Universe.

And he lived happily ever after.

There you have it.

I don't get it at all!

You don't even understand this simple tale?

Your stupidity makes me laugh so hard my side hurts.

Don't worry. I need you in order to fulfill my ambitions.

I won't kill you.

I know it... I know he'll come to my rescue.

Rescue? Oh, sure, you're waiting for Photon-kun.

That is so beautiful.

Hey, I got an idea. To show you how merciful and generous I am,

I'll even call Photon-kun for you.

Photon-kun! Help me!

You suck.

Could it be? It seems Photon-kun doesn't like you.

That's too bad.

There he is!

Nice try.

Aun.

- Take this and this and that! - Cut it out. It tickles.

Good thing I'm in an extremely good mood today.

So much so, I'm going to pardon your rude behavior.

Never mind him. Just go!

You don't have to tell me. I'll go when he comes.

That hurts a little.

He'll show up. I know it! He's that kind of guy.

That's right. Photon will come.

Your idiocy is truly remarkable.

The sheer heroism of it moves me to tears.

However, Photon-kun is unable to come here.

My glorious scheme has him facing an imminent demise.

Perhaps, he's already faced it.

I don't believe it. Not me! Help me, Photon!

What's the matter? He can't hear you. Say it louder!

Help me, Photon!

That's more like it.

Let me join you this time. One, two, three...

Help me, Photon!

Photon, you're here!

Photon!

PHOTON

Photon on the

Green Planet

How the hell did you...?

I will protect you. I promised.

Photon...

I had faith in you. I knew you would come for me.

Hey, why don't you help me, too?

Don't fool around!

Hello. I'm so glad to see you again, Photon-kun, my friend.

Well, since you're here,

I gather Lashara has failed and kicked the bucket.

What do you expect from such a naive princess?

A useless dummy, she was!

Well, if it isn't Lashara Moon, the First Imperial Princess.

Thank heavens, you're unharmed.

You have deceived me.

I'm sorry you feel that way.

I was only being considerate of your desire to serve me.

It's a shame...

If you were a little less wise, you could have become...

my nineteenth wife and enjoyed the rest of your life in style.

I am not going to cry. I will not cry.

I shan't... cry...

You made her cry.

You made Lashara cry.

You made her cry!

Even ten billion Brain Crystals have no effect on you?!

Hold it!

You shouldn't get yourself so worked up, Photon-kun.

Can't you see I've got an ace up my sleeve?

You have a bad habit of losing your temper easily.

Suppose you step aside and...

You rotten rat!!

Photon-kun, my friend, I just had a religious awakening.

God told me to stop this nonsense, loud and clear.

So, would you please lower your trembling fist?

You disgust me.

Get him, Photon!

Mommy!

Photon?

Photon-san...

Photon!

This Aho...?

Bulan?!

It's earlier than I thought but I've had enough of this comedy.

I must set the stage for a new scene.

Photon.

Being a counter agent, you can't get out of this one.

Well done, Chief Commander Bulan.

You could have come a little earlier, though.

What the hell? What is this?

It's Un-Aho.

Bulan... Why?

Why?

It was I who duped Papacha into having you attack Photon Earth.

You're lying!

What are you saying, Bulan?

You're my only friend in all of the Imperial Household.

No.

The reason I came with you to this planet...

The reason I am here now...

It's all due to the Galactic Emperor's wishes.

My father...?

The Galactic Emperor?

The Emperor? That's funny.

Don't you laugh!

Listen, I've made a puppet out of the Emperor.

I'm pulling his strings!

If he attacks me, it's as if he attacks himself.

Listen to me!!

By corrupting the program of the Galactic Anti-Aho Furnace,

the Emperor gathered up a great deal of Aho energy...

to the Original Crystal and took dominion over the galaxy.

Papacharino Nanadan, who had joined the Imperial Army,

inevitably became aware of this fact.

He then detained Professor Ma Gene Aqua.

Nanadan found out from Aqua that Keyne is the key to the Furnace.

So, he assassinated the Emperor, intent on taking his place.

Detained my grandpa...?

Assassinated my father...?

How? I don't see how you could possibly know this!

Oh, no? A dim-witted response from a dim-witted man.

You're so dim it's laughable!

The Galactic Emperor.

Father...

But I killed you!

A low-grade Aho master like you can't kill me even if I let you.

Why were you able to sneak into my chamber that day?

Was I alone by coincidence? No, everything was staged.

I simply pretended to be dead, while you were jumping for joy.

It's all very simple. Everything happened as scripted.

All of you were merely dancing on a stage I had prearranged.

Now, allow me to join you on this new setting.

Let's make a grand finale, shall we?

Damn you!

I liked having you as my jester.

However, the next scene is a bit too serious for you.

I'm sorry, my lord!

Father, is Bulan...? Tell me it's not true!

Ah, my dear daughter, Lashara. Of course, it's not true.

Indeed, it's not true that you are my daughter.

You're not my daughter.

The beautiful princess? The Flower of the Galaxy?

Why, it was all make-believe.

Even your profound affection for Papacha was my fabrication.

You have an inquiring look on your face.

I'll tell you.

You ought to know since you're the heroine of a coming tragedy.

Your duty as an actress is to set the stage for a new scene.

I was bored. Boredom is what brought this on.

My days of galactic domination were nothing but pure boredom.

I crave for excitement.

Even though it was make-believe, I quite enjoyed dying.

It wasn't bad at all.

Princess Lashara.

Bravo! Your performance is just as I'd pictured in my mind.

I see it! I see your soul shattering with grief.

This is truly exciting!

You want excitement?

Is that your reason for taking Grandpa and my fellow rebels?

I love it! Our little play is gaining quite a momentum!

I can almost hear the wailing orchestra!

Get a hold of yourself, Princess Lashara!

You're stronger than that.

Don't give in, Lashara!

Photon, what are you doing? Whack that crazy dickhead!

You made her cry.

You made her cry!

No...

No way. He put all he's got in that punch.

When Aho is fired, it produces Un-Aho as a byproduct.

It offsets Aho completely.

But if you pit Un-Aho against Un-Aho, it's another story.

Does it hurt?

Oh, no, Photon!

At long last, I have the key to the Furnace.

And to think it's my own daughter, no less!

Your daughter?

Gene, you also have a flare for dramatics.

You were cruel to make your own granddaughter the key.

But, I am even more degenerate.

I had switched my daughter and your granddaughter.

I bet you didn't know that, did you?

Lashara and I?

I am the real father of Keyne Aqua.

You're lying!

What's more, your mother is right here with me.

My mother...

Isn't this a lovely object?

This is none other than the Original Brain Crystal.

Here you are, reunited with your long-lost parents! How touching!

Oh, yes! I can feel it! I can feel it right in my gut!

I... Grandpa... Aqua...

Grandpa... My memory...

That spell was carved there by me to celebrate your birth.

It's too early, but let me take this opportunity...

to have a big birthday party for all the years I missed.

Yes! There it is! I feel it in my gut!

Come on, Keyne. Let's have fun.

Make it more exciting, more tragic!

Keyne...

Don't.

Don't.

Keyne!

- Oops. - Was that a quake?

It's your imagination.

Perhaps...

Well done. You're a true Un-Aho agent.

Welcome to the new set.

Photon, what are you doing? Run!

It's a high-density Un-Aho space. You can't move, can you?

Go on. Fight for Daddy.

Keyne.

No, Keyne. Don't!

Isley, that's your daughter.

This is not happening! No way!

Stop it, Keyne!

You amuse me, Photon Earth. What a heroic gesture!

Keyne.

IDIOT

From now on, you'll protect me, too, won't you?

Keyne!!

I promised to protect you!

Photon...

Keyne, that hurts.

I'm so sorry, Photon.

Nicely done, Singularity. You've neutralized my spell.

Or, is it love that did it?

This is Keyne's soul.

Keyne?

C'mon. You can do it! I'm over here.

If you kill me, Keyne will live.

C'mon. You'll miss the chance.

Your rage is vibrating through my body like a shock wave!

Let's see what kind of rage you can show me next.

Keyne!

Photon... Grandpa...

Mother...

Mother...

Isley!

You stupid punk!

She coated her daughter's soul with a piece of her own!

Damn it, Gene!

Princess Lashara?

Be my shield, Gene's granddaughter.

No!

Lashara!

Do you feel what I feel, Lashara?

Of course, I do. We share the same soul, don't we?

Photon-san is a very kind man.

Yes.

He fought on my behalf.

Yes.

He would never betray you. He will always protect you.

I love him.

I know. I really do.

Pochini...

I won't give in!

So Lashara also shares her soul with another.

I don't like it. I don't like it at all.

Enough of this playacting.

Not so fast.

Let's continue our drama with you in it this time, my lord.

Introducing the new protagonist...

the fabulous and magnificent Papacharino Nanadan!

Damn clown.

You can't hurt me with the amount of Aho you have left.

Good thing we kept an eye from the sideline, Sir Papacha!

My lord, I, Papacharino Nanadan, shall kill you once and for all.

To hell with you all.

If you resist me so much,

I'll blow you away along with the Furnace!

Did I strike a fear in you?

Oh, well. I got what I want.

Photo...

Why didn't we try this first?

Keyne!

What do you plan to do with her?

I've got it at last!

The key is mine. It belongs to me, Papacharino Nanadan!

Go on, Keyne.

Awaken the genie that opens the Galactic Anti-Aho Furnace!

What is happening?

Isn't that where Photon-kun and the gang were headed?

What the heck was that?

Hey, what's this?!

This is no time for a nap, Photon!

Keyne was kidnapped by Papachump!

Wake up! Come on! Wake up!

Aun-san...

The Galactic Anti-Aho Furnace must be down there...

Splendid! I can hardly wait to see you alter the universe!

Well? How far do we have to pull this up?

There it is at last!

What!

It's the Imperial Army Fleet.

So that's the genie that Gene created.

Not as imposing as I thought.

Wake up! Wake up, you!

Please stop, Ms. Aun!

Photon, wake up! I can't stand to see your weak side.

Aun-san...

That hurt.

Aun, you hurt me.

Aun, you hurt me.

- Stop yapping and get up! - Aun-san!

Who wants Gene's inventions? Let's get rid of them all!

Target intact!

That's my genie!

Keyne, let's see if you can destroy the whole fleet!

It's our turn to retaliate!

The Great Papacha Punch!

Encore!

They're dropping like flies.

The 3rd and 7th fleet have been decimated.

- The 108th fleet is decimated! - So is the 58,995th fleet...

Link up the Brain Crystal of each ship in a row...

and create a high-pressure Anti-Aho barrier!

Too much overload, Sir! It won't hold more than a minute.

Do it, I said!

If we can't break the ship, we'll kill the passengers.

Did we scare them off already?

Forgive me, I'll never do it again!

We rise again!

How entertaining this is! I'm having the time of my life!

No void, no boredom, no tedium, and no languishment!

Genie, take us to the Core of the Furnace.

I shall become a deity!

That punk!

I will never cry again.

Photon-san, I leave it to you.

Go get him!

You fool, even a counter agent is no match for this genie.

Keyne!

This genie beat the Imperial Fleet with ease.

What's wrong with that punk?!

Goddamn it! I'll show that punk!

There he is!

I hope you burn in hell!

Let's see... how to disconnect the left arm...

"Press the red button near the console..."

"This would disconnect the left leg..."

"So press the green one instead..." What?!

You take me for a fool?!

Farewell, Photon-kun.

What's up with this guy?!

Keyne.

So this is the Furnace, where all Aho is produced.

You moron!

Keyne.

It's fake! Just look at it!

Papachump is gone. Go on, go after him!

Aun...

Hurry before that moron does something to her.

Photon-san, Papacha may be inside that sphere.

I will protect Keyne. I definitely will.

Darn it, why is it always Keyne this, Keyne that?

Without his protectiveness, he wouldn't be the Photon-san we know.

That's true enough.

I'll make Keyne return this favor a hundred times over!

You're not true to yourself.

What's that supposed to mean?

Aw! What was that for?

Photon's always been by my side and he always will, too!

Because Photon is my...

We should hurry.

I know!

Hey, did your personality change or something?

This is me in my true colors.

Instead of "the Emperor," enter "Papacha"...

What is your command?

The Aho System is ready to be modified.

Please enter the password.

Hey! What do you think you're doing?

I'm conducting a sacred ritual to become a deity.

What did you do to me? Untie me!

For Pete's sake, shut up! Can't you see I'm busy?

Photon!

What! Already?!

You better run quick.

Now's the time to show you my true power!

Over here, Photon-kun! Come here if you want your Keyne back!

Crystal?

Correct! It's a pure Crystal plate, one meter thick.

You should know. The Crystal is remarkably strong to begin with.

A one-inch plate can withstand a sonic-speed impact...

by a highly dense matter.

This one is one meter thick!

And, it conducts Aho, therefore, cannot be destroyed by Un-Aho.

In short, only a physical force can break it.

Try as you may with your freaky strength,

you can't break it!

If you'll excuse me, I must get on with my lofty transcendence.

Yikes! You don't say...

All right, Photon!

That's impossible...

The Crystal can only be broken by... the Crystal.

Is that stick made of Crystal?

This could be trouble.

Incidentally, I have one more Crystal plate.

Now that your stick is gone, you can forget it.

I'm so sorry, Photon-kun.

So it goes! La-di-da.

Time to decode the password!

Click!

What is happening?

Keyne.

OK, OK, you got it. Here we go.

Soon... I will soon become a deity.

All right, don't rush me. I'm decoding it. I sure am.

It's been so long since the last time, so be patient, OK?

I can feel the power. What an incredible power!

This power is incredible!

This will put the Galactic Emperor to shame.

I shall soon become the Universal King!

Photon.

Keyne!

How do you feel, Photon-kun? Getting weaker by the minute?

Your capacity as the Singularity won't be there much longer.

The time has come for you to go back to being a regular Joe.

Decoding... Decoding... Oh, boy, am I ever!

Photon...

Keyne...

Third contact, first sphere: Complete.

Second sphere: Complete. Third sphere: Complete.

Fourth sphere: Complete...

Damn you... You're a human!

Keyne...

Seventh sphere: Complete. Eighth sphere: Complete.

But, too late! The system will be altered in a few seconds.

Whew! I think I'm almost there.

Ten seconds to go. Nine, eight, seven, six, five...

Keyne...

Four, three, two, one...

Zero!

Photon... I love you.

Loading error occurred due to either a circuit breakdown...

Shit! What the hell's going on?

...or an unauthorized alteration.

Illegal alteration?! Where could that be?!

Restore the original and try again.

The stupid punk drew a doodle? A goddamn doodle?!

The shitfaced bastard! I'm gonna break his neck!

Hello there, Photon-kun!

And the two good-lookin' ladies!

I'll be going now.

Oops! Ouch! Don't look! Oh, silly me...

So long...

I am not defeated. I am not giving up.

For I am Papacharino Nanadan, the one who rules the universe!

Not right now, of course...

It's gone...

I've lost the crest Photon drew on my forehead.

I'm not Photon's wife anymore.

The crest has disappeared.

Keyne.

I

ID

IDI

IDIO

IDIOT

Photon.

Here... and here!

Oh, dear...

What's the big idea?!

We all got it!

This is not funny, Photon!

This guy doesn't get it!

Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

I'm against this polygamy! Oh, no, it doesn't rub off!

What are you going to do?!

This means Photon-san is my...

I will protect all of you!

The End

The end.

There's nothing like love. That's what keeps me going.

My heart palpitates at the slightest omen.

Hard knocks. False alarms. Hunt by instincts.

What a trouble-maker.

Hold your breath.

Will it be another unrequited love? Another heartbreak...?

Bad feelings are creeping up on me again.

There's nothing like love. That's what keeps me going.

My heart palpitates at the slightest omen.

Hard knocks. False alarms. Hunt by instincts.

What a trouble-maker.

Hold your breath. Will it be another unrequited love?

Another heartbreak...?

Bad feelings are creeping up on me again.

In times of trouble, I count on you to come flying to my rescue.

I'll be in love again tomorrow, just as usual.

You always make me feel safe, my lucky charm.

Isn't it the most important thing there is?