Original subtitles

Conceived by PHOTON PROJECT

Sir Papacha...

At present, I have thirteen wives in the galaxy.

My goal is thirteen million!

Please tell me this is not true, Sir Papacha.

Otherwise, my heart will be broken.

- Come over here, pretty woman! - Oh, no!

Oh, no! Don't do that! Stop!

Gimme another!

Sir Papacha, you should go easy on the drinks...

What are you talking about? Don't be so square.

I wonder what happened to Pochi Number One.

I hope he's doing well.

Oh, dear...

There seems to be a minor error in the coordinate specification.

My apologies, Lashara.

None necessary. You have been a tremendous support.

Somewhere in this desert is Sir Papacha...

PHOTON

Pochi's Feelings

Help... Help!!

I'm finished!

Thank you so much.

Sir Papacha!

Oh, my! Such a kidder!

Are you hungry?

Good food, good sake, and lots of women!

Eat.

Oh, no, I'll eat after you.

Does your stomach hurt?

No, not really.

Here, this is the best part.

You should have the best part, Photon-san.

Thank you, Sir.

It's delicious!

Photon-san, it's...

Photon-san...

Don't dilly-dally and keep your hands moving!

You're going to work for your accommodation and the repairs.

Yes, ma'am!

Good answer.

You got skill, dear.

Why, thank you.

Damn that fatty! Why do I have to do this crap!

Well, Sir, you partied like there was no tomorrow.

You drove us flat broke.

We miss Number One's ability to manage the finances.

Don't remind me of that good-for-nothing.

You're the good-for-nothing, if ever there was one.

Excuse me for being fat.

You're done here. Go out and bring in some customers.

Yes, ma'am!

Photon-san, why are you so kind to me?

Sir Papacha and I...

Don't you despise me?

Why?

You're strange...

Photon!

You scared me, taking off like that.

I'm sorry about the other day.

Pochi!

It's delicious.

Really? I'm glad.

Whatever the status quo, he was once our enemy.

That's right. What if Papachump is planning to trap us?

Pochi is not bad. We should take Pochi.

How do you know?

Yeah, I can see that. I was thinking the same thing!

Augh. She's slick. Don't you think?

Well...

So, this is the Galactic Anti-Aho Furnace.

The hell with it!

When Grandpa helped me to escape, he told me,

"Head for Sandy Planet."

I have no idea what is supposed to happen here.

Anyhow, I must find Grandpa's Aho Memorizer that I lost.

Wow! My first big town!

I wonder if they sell "desert rabbit buns" here.

You picked a lively town to drop your thing.

I didn't drop it. You did, remember?

Yes, sorry.

In any case, I've got to retrieve the Aho Memorizer.

I feel I can meet a fabulous man with good taste here.

This must be a premonition of love.

This is the fateful encounter.

Or not!

What's up, Photon?

Gosh. All you have to do is say the word and I would, y'know...

What, Photon? You like her?!

Your taste is rather mature for your face.

Big breasts, like Nee-san.

Singing that same old song?!

Let me tell you, in due time, I'll get as big as my...

What sort of reaction is that?!

Hey, watch it!

Are you all right, honey? That must have hurt!

Let's ignore her and look for a place to stay, okay, h-o-n-e-y?

Okay, honey? Yuck!

Keyne-san sure looks happy, doesn't she? That's so nice.

That's so NOT nice!

I'm gonna beat her up!

Please wait!

Come on in! Come on in! How about it, lady?

This inn is no good for room or board, but it has a terrific spa...

that cures broken bones in one day!

I could even wash your back personally...

Damn! That's why I hate hicks!

Keyne?! And why is Pochi with her?

Hello. Welcome to our inn!

Weary from the long trip?

Why not kick back at this shitty old inn?

How do you know we've been traveling?

I have also come a long way.

Honey, would you like to stay here?

Must you do that when you talk?

What's wrong with this?

It's just wrong!

Photon, where are you going?

Sightseeing, I'm sure. This town has many curious sights indeed.

But first, how about a dip in our famous beautifying spa?

Beautifying spa?!

The spa leaves your skin smooth, and our 'futon' is so soft...

I guarantee the gentleman will be delighted, too.

The spa leaves your skin smooth.

I guarantee the gentleman will be delighted...

We'll stay here.

Hey, what's the big idea?

Whatever. We're definitely staying here.

No way! You pervert!

Here comes a party of four and one pet.

A bunch of idiots... Falling into a trap on their own.

What are you doing?

A lady like you shouldn't be traveling alone in the desert.

With guys like us swarming around?

It's oh so dangerous!

I must go where Sir Papacha is. Please don't get in my way.

Bulan? Bulan? Where are you?

- You can't escape, dear. - Your friend got lost, eh?

Hey, wow!

The last one was a little punk, but this one's a real deal.

Someone please help...

- Howdy, fella. - Long time no see.

Are you all right?

Thank you so much.

My name is Lashara Moon. What is yours?

Photon.

You're quite a fighter, Photon-sama.

You smell good, like Nee-san.

I see... I remind you of your sister?

I almost forgot. There's a place I'd like to go to.

It's that town...

- Right away? - Yes.

Oh, my!

So that's the Singular Point. How interesting...

How shall I capture Keyne this time?

First, I must do something about that little punk, Photon.

Once I get down to it, I can handle a punk or two at will.

This is the town.

Thank you so very much.

I thought I heard someone scream just now...?

Photon-san, you're back.

Princess Lashara!

Pochini!

Why are you...?

Pochini... So, he is here in this town. Where is he?

Well... around here somewhere, I suppose...

What is the matter?

Princess Lashara, he is...

Sir Papacha is...

He is not who you think...

But of course!

You mean to say that I shouldn't be seen in this squalid state.

No, I...

Is there a place nearby where I can bathe myself?

Thank you so much.

My dear Sir Papacha!

Princess Lashara!

I'm gonna kill that punk!

WOMEN

I'm amazed there's a place like this in the middle of a desert.

Aren't you supposed to be here to look for something?

I'll make time for that later.

After this beautifying bath, I'm going to show Photon...

the new and improved me.

And I mean, ALL of me.

I know what you're thinking, 100 percent.

Really?

I'm gonna break them up!

What about you? You seem awfully diligent about soaking yourself.

Forget it. You can't cure a body that's clearly unfit to be seen.

I don't care how much you soak.

What the hell?!

Photon would never take her seriously.

She's dead meat.

Hell, in due time, I'll also be boing-boing and pow-pow!!

What sort of reaction is that?!

My big boobs give me such a shoulder ache...

Too bad they'll be sagging soon.

Sore loser!

Tits are all you got!

Better than nothing!

May I come in?

What are THOSE?!

Holy moley!

You lose!

You can't pass up our open-air bath, the only attraction here.

Let's take a soak right now!

MEN

No thanks!

Don't be modest.

C'mon, show the gentleman to the bath!

But, Sir...

Stop acting shy!

Get in there and hold him down like I told you!

But, Sir, we're...

You're what!?

You are female?!

Yes, Sir.

No-gooders!

Please, Sir! We haven't started yet!

Let me scrub your back for you.

No thanks!

I'll stab him with a poisonous stiletto and, while he's down,

finish him off with my magnificent Aho.

Lashara? What a smart name!

Yes, my name is Lashara Moon.

But, that's the name of the Galactic Emperor's daughter!

- What was that for?! - Oh, I didn't see you. Loser!

It's awesome that you're on the road searching for your lover.

It's nothing at all...

Lucky you! As for me, it's...

...one rejection after another!

How can you be so cruel?!

Puny chest!

I see, you get rejected if you have a "puny chest"...

I'm relieved. That means I will not be rejected...

That was brutal...

What a tactic!

If only I could see him now...

So what if you got bigger tits? I have a more slender waist.

Yes, you do have a slender waist.

Why is it that nothing I say makes me feel better?

Still, how the heck did they get to be so large?

Oh, please don't touch them!

Gosh, they're so soft!

No, you can't! You must focus on this punk right now.

But, then again...

Oh, not there!

Oh, no... You mustn't!

- Wow, they're awesome! - Outstanding!

Please don't...

Hey, look at this!

Oh, my god!

- Princess! - What are you doing here?!

- The men's bath is over there! - Oh, no. I am...

Just get out of here!

Oh, my!

This is terrible! I...

Photon-san!

Damn you!

You wanna kill me?!

Sir Papacha!

Shoot!

You'd never guess from his harmless looks...

I can't believe he tried to molest us...

Well, Pochini is a...

Already! I think I'll get out now.

Where do you think you're going?

I couldn't tell you.

Oh, no, you ain't!

- Gimme a hand, will ya? - Yes.

Let go of me!

- Hold her right there. - Like this?

Why are you hugging me?!

Hers are definitely bigger by close comparison.

Can I?

Let go of me!

And, hers are much softer, too.

- Please stop it. - C'mon, they won't rub off.

There!

No one has ever done that.

There!

Oh, no, you mustn't. No more!

Say, Photon-kun...

Let's make a truce for now.

Sir Papacha!

Here I come! I'm gonna do it!

Please, I'm begging you.

Whoa! They feel so plump!

Oh, no... not that...

It feels so...

...good!!

Photon-kun, my friend! I just got a great idea!

Will you punch a tiny hole right here with your brute force?

- Sir Papacha! - Quiet!!

Photon-kun, you're a man, aren't you?

Beyond this wall lies an everlasting paradise.

It's the goal every man, by nature, aspires to.

Rather, it's the one thing in life every man must aspire to!

Sir Papacha!

Shut up, Pochi!

Okay, I give you three seconds to say whatever is on your mind.

One, two...

Sir Papacha, is it true that you're already married?

How did you find out?

How much do you know?

That you have thirteen wives, Sir Papacha.

Princess Lashara adores you implicitly...

How could you step on her feelings?

Is that what you wanted to know?

I approached her simply because she is an imperial princess.

Don't you love her?

Why would I want to tie myself down with a lass like that?

If I have to, I suppose I could take her as my nineteenth wife.

So, it was true...

I couldn't believe it until I heard it from you.

I didn't want to believe it.

Lashara was in love with you.

...truly in love.

Where were we, Photon-kun?

Will you punch just a tiny peep hole right here?

I promise you will see a whole new world, my friend!

You made him cry.

No need for moderation here. Give it all you got.

You made him cry.

Go on, do it quick. Or, we'll miss the chance.

That's it!

Right here. Punch one right...

Bon appetite!

Mr. Elephant?

Photon!

What are you looking at?!

What have you done?!

My goodness! What a mess!

How in the world am I supposed to do business now?

What's with him?!

Are you...? Is that you, Photon-chan?

Yes, Photon.

How long has it been? Was it at my wedding that I last saw you?

Brings back memories...

Wedding?!

Don't tell me!

Could this be...?

Aun? Yes, it's you!

It's so nice of you to come all the way to visit your old sister!

No way...

That's Photon's favorite sister?

Oh, no. This can't be happening! My sister was so beautiful...

And now she's...

Looks like you'll have big tits, all right. Congratulations.

No way!!

All the players seem to have gathered...

I never knew that a man's little man is such a manly thing.

Pochini, isn't it most appalling that a man could be so cowardly...

as to peep into a lady's bath?

That man ought to follow the example of Sir Papacha...

who is the noblest man I know.

Princess Lashara, I'm afraid it was Sir Papacha himself.

That's impossible! It's not in his nature to do such a thing.

Sir Papacha is not the man we thought he was, Lashara.

To be continued

NEXT EPISODE

I win! I win! Aun's sister is genetically obese!

Mind your mission, will ya?

I'm too drunk with victory, Ms. Would-Be Fatty.

- Stop it! I'm not like her! - Not yet.

She ticks me off! Someone make her pay!

Lo and behold, I'm captured by Papacha. What a pinch!

- Serves you right! - Hey, he's got you, too.

He does?

Papacha Turns

the Key

Photon, the fifth episode: Papacha Turns the Key

I'm going to die, aren't I?

Photon, help!

I'll be there, baby!

Is that really him?

There's nothing like love. That's what keeps me going.

My heart palpitates at the slightest omen.

Hard knocks. False alarms. Hunt by instincts.

What a trouble-maker.

Hold your breath. Will it be another unrequited love?

Another heartbreak...?

Bad feelings are creeping up on me again.

In times of trouble, I count on you to come flying to my rescue.

I'll be in love again tomorrow, just as usual.

You always make me feel safe, my lucky charm.

Isn't it the most important thing there is?