All language subtitles for shifting.gears.s02e11.720p.web.h264-insidious

Oh. Oh, God.

I hope nobody heard that.

It's L.A.
Even if anyone did,
they'd just ignore it.

This is so fun.

I can't believe
I'm making out in a car

in front of my dad's house.

It's like high school
all over again.

Except less pregnant.

You know, it has been
three weeks.

We could do something crazy,
like go inside.

Oh, mm-mm.
There's bad people inside.

-
- Ah!

Hey, nice car.

Oh, God.
It's the bad people.

- Hey.
- Hello, Father.

Out for your evening
constitutional?

Giving your Uber driver
a tip?

How do you think I keep
my five-star passenger rating?

Kidding.
Last time I did that,
I lost a star.

Hi, I'm Andy,
I am Riley's--

Friend. Friend with benefits.

But not all the benefits.
Some benefits.

They're none of your
business benefits.

You're 35 years old.
You don't need to do this.

And you gotta come up
with better excuses

why you've been going out.

Night banking, night church,

night dentist?

No, we went to night bank.

Well, it was the Coinstar
over at the Albertsons.

Honestly, kind of
a weird third date,

but I did get to go home

with 12 bucks
and a coupon for baked beans.

I'm sorry about the driveway.
I didn't plan to be here long.

At least your friend is up front
about his commitment issues.

All right.
Thanks for checking in.

Uh-huh.

Just ignore him.

I can't, he's like the T-Rex
in Jurassic Park.

Okay, yes!

I didn't tell you
about my friend,

but I have a very good reason.

I didn't want you to know.

You or anyone else,
but especially you.

You know why.

- I don't care.
-

Oh! You're a real piece
of work, Matt Parker.

Well, guess what?
If you don't care, I don't care.

Oh, that's right,
I did the old switcheroo.

But you know what?
It doesn't even matter.

Because what happens
between me and Andy

is none of your business.

- Who's Andy?
- Oh, there you go

with the questions.
So typical.

Oh. Another commercial.

Well, since you
clearly want to know,

I met Andy
at the coffee cart.

It's been a month,
and we're in a bubble,

just the two of us.
It has been amazing.

We actually have
very good chemistry

that I wasn't expecting.

He hasn't told his daughter
and I haven't told the kids,

and I definitely
wasn't gonna tell you,

but you pried it out of me.

Are you talking to me?

Don't say a word.

- Hey, guys.
- What are you guys
talking about?

I have no idea.

Uh, we were just talking
about the football game.

Grandpa thinks the blue team
needs to run more,

and I think
it's nobody's business.

Okay.

We were just coming down
to get a snack.

Do we have any more
gummy worms?

Yeah. Not-Not for me, though.

I think I might be
getting a cavity.

You might need to take me

to that night dentist
you've been seeing.

Amy, we just redid this
beautiful T-Bird

not even two years ago.
Why would I do this again?

Because we love money.

I want it all pink
and a convertible,

like Barbie taking Skipper
on a joyride.

Girls trip, bitch!

I'm not gonna do that.

Look, you want a convertible?
I'll make you a convertible.

I'm not going to turn
this beautiful T-Bird

into a Pepto-Bismobile.

That's fine, a conversation
for another day.

- Okay.
- I had another idea.

- Okay.
- How would you like
to design a MorphoZoom?

I don't-- I don't know
what a MorphoZoom is.

MorphoZooms are awesome.
I had some as a kid.

They're like Transformers,

but affordable for kids
with single moms

who spend all their money
on cigarettes.

And they're just different
enough from Transformers

that we can't be sued.

Man, my nephew
loved those things.

I got him one last Christmas.

Ooh, I had to do some things
I wasn't proud of.

Matt, your designs
are incredible.

- Yeah.
- Okay, draw me a toy.

Are you all right?

Come on.
I design cars, not toys.

Despite what you've heard,
this is not Santa's workshop.

Matt, why don't you design
the car part and I do the toy?

You may not remember me.
I am Matt's right-hand man.

- Gabe, G-unit.
- Oh, hi.

You know, actually,
Gabe could do both.

Build the car and the toy.

You know,
you'd be in good hands.

Your approval means a lot.

But you know my favorite
part of Parker Customs
and Restorations?

Parker!

You.

Okay, okay, look,
I could work with him.

We could do it together.

- Thanks, Matt.
- Yeah.

Mama needs to put a down payment
on her ticket to space.

I think it's
a little late for that.

Hey, boss.

Meet Drago-Vette,
half dragon, half Corvette.

He drinks high-octane fuel
and fire shoots out of his butt.

Or should I say--

I got inspired too.

I did the car,
and also I did the robot.

- Oh.
- Hey, Matt.
Sorry to interrupt.

Andy, Riley's friend.

Driveway guy?
'77 Trans Am?

Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Uh, we're done. Right?

Yeah.

Got my eye on you.
You want to know why?

Riley doesn't have
any friends.

That's a good-looking
Trans Am, man.

Oh, thanks. Yeah, I've been
working on it for a few years.

I mean, obviously,
I can't do what you do.

Ooh, sucking up,
that always works.

Um, Trans Am was
my old man's, actually.

He was a car guy.

Well, more of a Smokey
and the Bandit guy.

Really just a mustache guy.

Well, it's a good thing
he wasn't an Italian Job guy.

Any guy who dates my daughter
and drives a Mini Cooper

will end up in the trunk
of a real car.

I mean, what is
an Italian Job anyway, right?

A nap for lunch,
followed by
a seven-hour dinner?

Yeah.

Anyway, I'm just here
to have lunch with Riley.

I just wanted to stop in
and properly introduce myself.

I know last night
was a little awkward.

- Oh, I appreciate that.
- Yeah.

Oh, and since you like
sucking up,

I do have for you
some dry rub.

Now, I made this myself.

Think of it as
a guy-to-guy mix-tape.

Cool. Well,
thank you for that.

You know, last time I got a gift
from one of her boyfriends,

it was a surprise grandchild.

But you know what?
I'll try this. Thanks.

Oh, hey.
What's happening?

Uh, why are you talking to
my friend Andy?

- He gave me a gift.
- Oh, a gift.

If you want to give me a gift,
we should go.

Okay, sure. Yeah.
You know what?

We should all
get dinner sometime.

Or not.

Well, actually, I'm having
some people over Sunday

for the NFC
Championship game.

You're welcome to join.
I'm grilling.

- That sounds great. I'm in.
- What?

Sunday? Shouldn't we be resting
as the Lord wanted us to?

- Gabe, who is that?
- Says he's Riley's friend.

Nah.
They're more than friends.

You see how hot he is?

I'm secure enough to admit
when I see a beautiful man.

- He's not that good-looking.
- You jealous?

'Cause you should be.

Then the car morphs
into a warrior robot.

The kids love it.
We make a lot of money,

and I don't have
to draw another robot.

Okay. Amazing.

- Thank you.
- Powerful.

- Gorgeous.
- All right.

But where's the fun?!

Ah, you got meds
in there somewhere?

I need something that's going
to make a bunch of Karens

gouge each other's eyes out

to get the last one
at Christmas.

We can make the robot
look like Glen Powell.

Look, this is a fun experiment.
But like my therapist said

about taking me on as a client,
this was a mistake.

Wait, wait.
We got another idea.

- Hey, Gabe.
- Okay.

I'm doing what you
taught me to do.

Fight for a good idea,
unless it's Ramen for lunch.

I know that's never happening.

Behold.

Oh, no. No.

Drago-Vette.

Are you kidding me?

Well, it was the first
thought he had.

- It's inspired.
- Yeah.

I mean, compelling,
and it poops fire?

Hahtzee!

I know what you're thinking,
but it is not Yahtzee.

We actually use six dice.

Trust me, that's not
what I was thinking.

Okay.

Carter, Georgia, let's go.
You're gonna be late.

For what? You're making us
go to the mall.

I thought you said we weren't
buying anything new in January.

Yeah, well, I also said
I wasn't drinking,

and I was gonna go
to the gym, 'kay?

February is
the new January.

Here, go to Claire's,
buy the whole store.

Carter, let's go.

Sorry. It takes a minute
to blow-dry this mane.

All right, let's go.
But no rolling down
the windows.

You'll ruin this 'do,
all right?

Fine, but no farting.

I still can't believe
you invited Andy over.

Didn't you even think
about the consequences?

Like me having to wear
outside clothes on a Sunday?

It's not my fault
that my milkshake

brings all your boys to my yard.

I just wanted Andy
to be my thing,

separate from
the rest of my life.

This is not how I planned it.

My daughter brings her kids
back to live with me

after my wife dies.

"Not how I planned it"
is on the family crest.

He's just coming over
to watch football.

What's the harm?

The harm? The harm?

The harm?

Damn it!
I was hoping it would come to me
if I kept saying "the harm."

Oh.

- Hey, hey.
- Hey.

Um, what, are you bringing
my dad another gift?

No. He texted me asking me

to pick up some
extra barbecue sauce.

He's texting you now?
He doesn't even text me.

I am just trying to make
a good impression
on your dad, okay?

Well, I appreciate you want

to do the whole hang
with the dad thing,

but spoiler alert,
you die at the end.

I get it, no one's good enough
for his little girl.

Oh, God. No.

He'd marry me off for two goats
and a cheese wheel.

Okay, well, you're here.

We're doing this,
but it's tricky.

If he offers you wine, say no.
Real men only drink beer.

- So, yes to beer?
- No, because you're driving.

- No to beer.
- Except it's rude

to refuse a drink.
Everything is a trap.

What is this, Squid Game ?

No, there's a survivor
in Squid Game.

- Hey.
- There he is.

Yeah, Riley, finally
let me come inside.

Here's your sauce.
That's not better.

You know what?
I should have stayed in the car.

- Can I get you anything?
- Water. Faucet.

Game, set, match.

Thanks for grabbing these.

I don't think I ever asked you,
what do you do for a living?

- Lawyer.
- Oh, what kind?

- Criminal law.
- Defense?

- Prosecution.
- Ooh.

This is going
to be a good day.

What do you think my dad
and Andy are talking about?

How Andy gave him
a dry rub

and got an invitation
to a barbecue that took me
20 years to get.

What? Everything ain't
about you, Riley.

My dad liking a guy I date
makes me want
to break up with him.

Which makes me think
that's why my dad's doing it.

Maybe I should run away
to Vegas and marry him

just to show my dad.

Wait.

Still talking about Riley.

- Steak?
- Rare, please.

There you go. Perfect.

Dead silence. Hm.

- Hey, all right.
- All right.

Hey, boss.

That's okay.
Little advice.

Matt doesn't like it
when you hover over him
while he works.

I'm good. I'm good.

Oh, well, if you're good,
I'm good.

So, Andy, how much
do you bench?

- What?
- I do it in kilos.

Number's bigger.

It's definitely
the opposite.

Yeah. I got a platinum
membership at CalFitness.

You need a weekend pass,
I got you.

Cool.

Hey, could you watch
these steaks just for a second?

Yeah.

Looks like you're driving

and I'm riding shotgun
on this grill.

I was the first person
in fifth grade
to get my orange belt.

Okay.

It's not a competition,

but based on your response,
I just won.

What are you up to?
You're hanging out there
with Andy,

talking cars,
and then you hand him
the tongs.

You never let anyone
hold the tongs.

What kind of weird mind games
are you playing?

I like your Uber driver.

Good job.

Good job?
You are sick.

I'm just saying,
he's a nice guy.

Don't screw it up.

Sick, sick, sick!

All right.
Steaks are ready.

And I carried them in.

Listen, we're gonna
work on his car.

He wants to bring it
back to stock,

so we got some stuff to do.

You're gonna work on his car?
This is too much.

This was supposed
to be a bubble.

Then you had to come along
with your big fat finger
and pop!

His finger is the perfect size.

Are you winking at me?

You know,
this is on you, too.

You had to be a great guy,
give my dad a dry rub.

That's--

It's not how it sounds.

It's for his meat.

Damn it!
I'm going to the mall.

Nobody wins
if the steak get cold.

Are you sure you want me
to take the lead?

- Yeah.
- Maybe I should just be the,

you know,
the Ernie to your Bert,

the Garfunkel to your Simon,
the Abbott to your Elementary.

Gabe, you got this. Okay?

- Genius alert!
- Geez!

Ha, ha!

Oh, I'm sorry I'm late.
I had to get a vacuum

so I can pick up the pieces
when you blow their minds.

Okay. Is there anything
we should know

about these execs
that we're pitching to?

Execs?
No, it's a focus group.

Okay, but--

Oh, no.

These are freaking kids.

There's no way we're
getting out of here
without a cold.

Hey. So, how was the mall?

God, I'm sorry.

I tried to explain, but my text
turned into a letter,

which turned into a manifesto,
which I reread and realized

boiling a bunny
would be a lot less crazy.

I'm sure I've read
stranger documents.

I was a public defender
in Florida.

I once cross-examined
a rooster.

I really am sorry.

It's just everything
started moving so fast.

We went from
secret makeout sessions

to Sunday barbecues with Dad.

I felt like
a Mormon housewife,

but without the sex
and soda addictions.

I get it. You weren't expecting
to meet someone so great.

Well, the thing is,
I got married at 18,

and this was supposed
to be carefree and light.

Instead, my dad likes you.

And if that's not bad enough,
I like you.

And I like you.

And look, it got
weird for me, too.

Gabe started texting me
videos of him bench pressing.

Why did you give him
your number?

I didn't, I thought you did.

What if we just
slow things down a bit?

So you'll stop
seeing my dad?

I mean,
I gave the guy a dry rub.

It's kind of hard
to unring that bell.

But if that's what it takes
to keep seeing you, yeah.

Well, it's gonna make him
really mad.

Yes, I do want that.

Then you got it.
And look, if it makes you
feel any better,

he and I only got
to dude second base:

talking about meat.

He tried to talk about
NFL officiating,

and I pushed his hand away.

We're good?

Yeah, we're good.

Hey, Riley.

That's cute and everything,

but I'm still waitin'
on my latte.

In conclusion,
who's the fastest,

baddest MorphoZoom
on the freeway?

That's right, it's Drago-Vette.

Hold for applause.

Oh, no.
Sorry, I wasn't supposed
to read that.

But still holding.

Okay, kids, what do you
think of Drago-Vette?

It's stupid.
Dragons shoot fire

out of their mouths,
not their butt.

It seems dangerous.

Who made you
the Dragon Police?

My uncle was
a supervising producer
on Game of Thrones.

Who wants a cookie?

- Me, me!
- Yay!

Chips Ahoy!

Legally, we're obligated
to call them Chunks Away.

Okay.
They're easily distracted,

so you got to focus
on the positive stuff.

Okay. Okay, good.

So, uh, who here
has something nice to say
about Drago-Vette?

- It's boring.
- You're boring.

- Your mom's boring.
- Joke's on you.

My mom's an active alcoholic.

Listen, believe in your idea.

If they don't like it,
they don't deserve it.

Okay. All right.

Now, I know that
Drago-Vette is awesome.

I want you guys
to tell me one thing
that you like about it.

I like that this part
is almost over.

Hold on a second.
Wait a minute.

This guy brought
in a great idea,

and I'm proud of him
for doing that.

- Thank you, Matt.
- That's it. And also,

I want you to respect
the work that he did
to bring this in here.

Boo!

Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
You know, okay.

Have at it.

Uh-huh.

If you booger-eaters
don't like it,

we're gonna find some
booger-eaters that do.

So say goodbye to Drago-Vette

and your, uh, Chunks Away,
you little .

Georgia, did you put up
this sign?

"Be generous.
God sees your tips."

Do you want
to make money or not?

We don't guilt people
into tipping.

That's what
low-cut shirts are for.

Not you, Carter.

Hello, neighborhood barista.

I would order my usual,

but, alas,
I've never been here before.

'Tis rather charming.

Well, wonderful.
Uh, new customers

are always appreciated
at the Klatch, good sir.

He's my, um--

Can I call you my boyfriend?

Whoa. This is all
happening so fast.

Of course you can.
Hi, I'm Andy.

Hi, Andy.
We know who you are.

Mom, we knew
you had a boyfriend.

You did?

You know we can see you guys
make out in the doorbell camera?

We get it, Mom, you want to keep
a new relationship to yourself.

I took forever to tell everyone
about my girlfriend, Lily.

I'm talking a whole hour.

Oh, look who's here.

Just taking my kettlebells
for a walk.