Original subtitles

[cheering]

[cheering]

[cheering] Thank you guys for watching. Thank you

Thank you guys for watching. Thank you

Thank you guys for watching. Thank you for showing up. We're glad you're here.

for showing up. We're glad you're here.

for showing up. We're glad you're here. [cheering] We are being you

[cheering] We are being you

[cheering] We are being you [cheering]

[cheering]

[cheering] from our headquarters in uh relax in the

from our headquarters in uh relax in the

from our headquarters in uh relax in the entertainment capital of the world.

entertainment capital of the world.

entertainment capital of the world. >> Uh thank you.

>> Uh thank you.

>> Uh thank you. [cheering]

>> Let's pray we can do better than that.

>> Let's pray we can do better than that.

>> Let's pray we can do better than that. >> You know, today is a day of great

>> You know, today is a day of great

>> You know, today is a day of great importance here in Hollywood. Today is

importance here in Hollywood. Today is

importance here in Hollywood. Today is Oscar nomination day, which what Good

Oscar nomination day, which what Good

Oscar nomination day, which what Good Friday is to Vatican City. Oscar

Friday is to Vatican City. Oscar

Friday is to Vatican City. Oscar Thursday is to us today. Very solemn

Thursday is to us today. Very solemn

Thursday is to us today. Very solemn day, very holy day. And the nominees for

day, very holy day. And the nominees for

day, very holy day. And the nominees for the 98th annual Academy Awards were

the 98th annual Academy Awards were

the 98th annual Academy Awards were unrolled bright and early this morning.

unrolled bright and early this morning.

unrolled bright and early this morning. Very early. I was up at 5:30 just to

Very early. I was up at 5:30 just to

Very early. I was up at 5:30 just to make sure Matt Damon wasn't nominated.

make sure Matt Damon wasn't nominated.

make sure Matt Damon wasn't nominated. He was not. And I want to thank the

He was not. And I want to thank the

He was not. And I want to thank the Academy for that. The movie Sinners had

Academy for that. The movie Sinners had

Academy for that. The movie Sinners had the most nominations of

the most nominations of

the most nominations of not just of the year of [applause] any

not just of the year of [applause] any

not just of the year of [applause] any movie ever. 16 nominations for Sinners.

movie ever. 16 nominations for Sinners.

movie ever. 16 nominations for Sinners. That beats the previous record of 14

That beats the previous record of 14

That beats the previous record of 14 which was shar was a tie between

which was shar was a tie between

which was shar was a tie between Titanic, All about Eve and La La Land.

Titanic, All about Eve and La La Land.

Titanic, All about Eve and La La Land. All three of which went on to win best

All three of which went on to win best

All three of which went on to win best picture. Although in the case of La La

picture. Although in the case of La La

picture. Although in the case of La La Land only for about four minutes before

Land only for about four minutes before

Land only for about four minutes before they gave it to Moon. [laughter]

they gave it to Moon. [laughter]

they gave it to Moon. [laughter] 10 movies are up for the top prize,

10 movies are up for the top prize,

10 movies are up for the top prize, including one battle after another,

including one battle after another,

including one battle after another, Marty Supreme. And you know, with

Marty Supreme. And you know, with

Marty Supreme. And you know, with Sinners in the mix, we've got Vampires

Sinners in the mix, we've got Vampires

Sinners in the mix, we've got Vampires going up against Frankenstein, which is

going up against Frankenstein, which is

going up against Frankenstein, which is [laughter]

[laughter]

[laughter] fun, especially if you're eight. But the

fun, especially if you're eight. But the

fun, especially if you're eight. But the witches didn't make it. Wicked for good

witches didn't make it. Wicked for good

witches didn't make it. Wicked for good got shut out. It got no nominations,

got shut out. It got no nominations,

got shut out. It got no nominations, which was a real witch slap to them.

which was a real witch slap to them.

which was a real witch slap to them. The auto, this is the surprise. The auto

The auto, this is the surprise. The auto

The auto, this is the surprise. The auto racing movie F1 got a nomination for

racing movie F1 got a nomination for

racing movie F1 got a nomination for best P, [cheering]

best P, [cheering]

best P, [cheering] >> proving [applause] that Academy voters

>> proving [applause] that Academy voters

>> proving [applause] that Academy voters are still very horny for Brad PITT AFTER

are still very horny for Brad PITT AFTER

are still very horny for Brad PITT AFTER ALL.

ALL.

ALL. NOW, [screaming]

NOW, [screaming]

NOW, [screaming] this is my nominee for best picture. I

this is my nominee for best picture. I

this is my nominee for best picture. I got a text from Cleto Senior this

got a text from Cleto Senior this

got a text from Cleto Senior this morning. He sent me a text and you were

morning. He sent me a text and you were

morning. He sent me a text and you were you were eating a tortilla for

you were eating a tortilla for

you were eating a tortilla for breakfast.

breakfast.

breakfast. >> Yeah. Made me a couple of scrambled eggs

>> Yeah. Made me a couple of scrambled eggs

>> Yeah. Made me a couple of scrambled eggs and I said, "Well, I'm going to get a

and I said, "Well, I'm going to get a

and I said, "Well, I'm going to get a tortilla going." So I had, you know,

tortilla going." So I had, you know,

tortilla going." So I had, you know, >> he sent this picture after taking a few

>> he sent this picture after taking a few

>> he sent this picture after taking a few bites of the tortilla and noticed

bites of the tortilla and noticed

bites of the tortilla and noticed [laughter]

[laughter]

[laughter] that it resembled someone

[cheering]

[cheering]

[cheering] who

who

who does that look like to you.

does that look like to you.

does that look like to you. That's right. It's our our Gorda Supreme

That's right. It's our our Gorda Supreme

That's right. It's our our Gorda Supreme Leader Donald Trump. You know, some

Leader Donald Trump. You know, some

Leader Donald Trump. You know, some people find Jesus on a tortilla. You

people find Jesus on a tortilla. You

people find Jesus on a tortilla. You found the Antichrist.

>> [cheering and applause]

>> [cheering and applause]

>> [cheering and applause] >> I'M CURIOUS.

>> I'M CURIOUS.

>> I'M CURIOUS. >> Once you had it, what did you do? Did

>> Once you had it, what did you do? Did

>> Once you had it, what did you do? Did you finish it? Did you eat them?

you finish it? Did you eat them?

you finish it? Did you eat them? >> But I, you know, uh, I started chomping

>> But I, you know, uh, I started chomping

>> But I, you know, uh, I started chomping on it.

on it.

on it. >> Uhhuh.

>> Uhhuh.

>> Uhhuh. >> And then I put it on on the plate and

>> And then I put it on on the plate and

>> And then I put it on on the plate and I'm going like I called my wife, Sylvia,

I'm going like I called my wife, Sylvia,

I'm going like I called my wife, Sylvia, what does this look like? Goes Trump. So

what does this look like? Goes Trump. So

what does this look like? Goes Trump. So I threw it away.

I threw it away.

I threw it away. [applause and cheering]

>> Today, by the way, is a big day for the

>> Today, by the way, is a big day for the

>> Today, by the way, is a big day for the Trump family. It's Donald and Melania's

Trump family. It's Donald and Melania's

Trump family. It's Donald and Melania's 21st anniversary. 21 years ago today,

21st anniversary. 21 years ago today,

21st anniversary. 21 years ago today, Melania said, "I do." And a and a

Melania said, "I do." And a and a

Melania said, "I do." And a and a beautiful prenuptual agreement was born.

beautiful prenuptual agreement was born.

beautiful prenuptual agreement was born. Trump was he was traveling back from

Trump was he was traveling back from

Trump was he was traveling back from Europe today, but he did take time to

Europe today, but he did take time to

Europe today, but he did take time to post something sweet. Um he posted uh

post something sweet. Um he posted uh

post something sweet. Um he posted uh some random guy calling him greatest

some random guy calling him greatest

some random guy calling him greatest president in the world. Period. Three

president in the world. Period. Three

president in the world. Period. Three exclamation points. And that was it.

exclamation points. And that was it.

exclamation points. And that was it. Sorry, Melania.

Sorry, Melania.

Sorry, Melania. And let me just say this. Trump. Donald

And let me just say this. Trump. Donald

And let me just say this. Trump. Donald Trump's going to have to be very careful

Trump's going to have to be very careful

Trump's going to have to be very careful during court-ordered love making tonight

during court-ordered love making tonight

during court-ordered love making tonight because

because

because uh Teddy Bruvelt uh I don't know. He may

uh Teddy Bruvelt uh I don't know. He may

uh Teddy Bruvelt uh I don't know. He may left his makeup kit at home because

left his makeup kit at home because

left his makeup kit at home because first of all, he's two totally different

first of all, he's two totally different

first of all, he's two totally different colors. His hands like a marshmallow.

colors. His hands like a marshmallow.

colors. His hands like a marshmallow. His face is a a Costco rotisserie

His face is a a Costco rotisserie

His face is a a Costco rotisserie chicken or something. He's got a nasty

chicken or something. He's got a nasty

chicken or something. He's got a nasty bruise on his left hand, which doesn't

bruise on his left hand, which doesn't

bruise on his left hand, which doesn't exactly square up with the he shakes a

exactly square up with the he shakes a

exactly square up with the he shakes a lot of hands explanation for the

lot of hands explanation for the

lot of hands explanation for the bruises. And he didn't even try to

bruises. And he didn't even try to

bruises. And he didn't even try to spackle over it this time. His press

spackle over it this time. His press

spackle over it this time. His press secretary, Caroline Levit, put out a

secretary, Caroline Levit, put out a

secretary, Caroline Levit, put out a statement saying he banged his hand on

statement saying he banged his hand on

statement saying he banged his hand on the corner of a table during a signing

the corner of a table during a signing

the corner of a table during a signing ceremony and then again spanking himself

ceremony and then again spanking himself

ceremony and then again spanking himself with that Nobel Peace Prize. And so, you

with that Nobel Peace Prize. And so, you

with that Nobel Peace Prize. And so, you know, I mentioned last night after all

know, I mentioned last night after all

know, I mentioned last night after all his bombastic and orally flatulent

his bombastic and orally flatulent

his bombastic and orally flatulent threats about how important economic and

threats about how important economic and

threats about how important economic and military conquest of Greenland is, after

military conquest of Greenland is, after

military conquest of Greenland is, after all that huffing and puffing with no

all that huffing and puffing with no

all that huffing and puffing with no warning whatsoever, he just gave up. You

warning whatsoever, he just gave up. You

warning whatsoever, he just gave up. You have talked about this framework, the

have talked about this framework, the

have talked about this framework, the beginning of a framework that you've

beginning of a framework that you've

beginning of a framework that you've spoken with the NATO secretary about.

spoken with the NATO secretary about.

spoken with the NATO secretary about. Can you tell us anything about that?

Can you tell us anything about that?

Can you tell us anything about that? Does this ultimately mean that the US

Does this ultimately mean that the US

Does this ultimately mean that the US will ultimately acquire Greenland?

will ultimately acquire Greenland?

will ultimately acquire Greenland? >> Well, I don't know if I could say that,

>> Well, I don't know if I could say that,

>> Well, I don't know if I could say that, but it could be. I mean, it's possible.

but it could be. I mean, it's possible.

but it could be. I mean, it's possible. Anything's possible. But in the

Anything's possible. But in the

Anything's possible. But in the meantime, we're getting everything we

meantime, we're getting everything we

meantime, we're getting everything we wanted. Total security, total access to

wanted. Total security, total access to

wanted. Total security, total access to everything.

everything.

everything. >> Total access to all the things we

>> Total access to all the things we

>> Total access to all the things we already had total access to. And let me

already had total access to. And let me

already had total access to. And let me tell you something. Just like that wall

tell you something. Just like that wall

tell you something. Just like that wall Mexico was going to pay for and uh the

Mexico was going to pay for and uh the

Mexico was going to pay for and uh the caravans that were coming and they're

caravans that were coming and they're

caravans that were coming and they're eating the dogs and cats. I'm telling

eating the dogs and cats. I'm telling

eating the dogs and cats. I'm telling you, after next week, we will never hear

you, after next week, we will never hear

you, after next week, we will never hear about Greenland again.

about Greenland again.

about Greenland again. What a bluff. [cheering] You know,

What a bluff. [cheering] You know,

What a bluff. [cheering] You know, [applause] Trump's new thing is he's

[applause] Trump's new thing is he's

[applause] Trump's new thing is he's come up with an organization called the

come up with an organization called the

come up with an organization called the Board of Peace, which uh many normal

Board of Peace, which uh many normal

Board of Peace, which uh many normal countries fear he's forming to replace

countries fear he's forming to replace

countries fear he's forming to replace the United Nations. And of course,

the United Nations. And of course,

the United Nations. And of course, membership isn't free to the BOP. He's

membership isn't free to the BOP. He's

membership isn't free to the BOP. He's charging other world leaders a billion

charging other world leaders a billion

charging other world leaders a billion dollars a piece to join it. He had a

dollars a piece to join it. He had a

dollars a piece to join it. He had a signing ceremony today. Look how happy

signing ceremony today. Look how happy

signing ceremony today. Look how happy he is. He's I'll take cash, check,

he is. He's I'll take cash, check,

he is. He's I'll take cash, check, Venmo, crypto, whatever you got, I will

Venmo, crypto, whatever you got, I will

Venmo, crypto, whatever you got, I will take it. And guess who he put in charge

take it. And guess who he put in charge

take it. And guess who he put in charge of the board. This board has the chance

of the board. This board has the chance

of the board. This board has the chance to be one of the most consequential

to be one of the most consequential

to be one of the most consequential bodies ever created. And it's my

bodies ever created. And it's my

bodies ever created. And it's my enormous honor to serve as its chairman.

enormous honor to serve as its chairman.

enormous honor to serve as its chairman. And I was very honored when they asked

And I was very honored when they asked

And I was very honored when they asked me to do it. They had an idea to do it.

me to do it. They had an idea to do it.

me to do it. They had an idea to do it. And then they came. They said, "Do we

And then they came. They said, "Do we

And then they came. They said, "Do we you be the chairman?" [laughter] And

you be the chairman?" [laughter] And

you be the chairman?" [laughter] And what did you say? You said yes. Right. I

what did you say? You said yes. Right. I

what did you say? You said yes. Right. I mean, they said this. What an honor to

mean, they said this. What an honor to

mean, they said this. What an honor to be named chairman of your own board.

be named chairman of your own board.

be named chairman of your own board. Almost no western democracies sign up to

Almost no western democracies sign up to

Almost no western democracies sign up to be part of this. But the very sketchy

be part of this. But the very sketchy

be part of this. But the very sketchy leaders of Saudi Arabia, Qatar, and

leaders of Saudi Arabia, Qatar, and

leaders of Saudi Arabia, Qatar, and Hungary did immediately. And he invited

Hungary did immediately. And he invited

Hungary did immediately. And he invited Putin to be on the board of peace in his

Putin to be on the board of peace in his

Putin to be on the board of peace in his downtime when he isn't bombing Ukraine.

downtime when he isn't bombing Ukraine.

downtime when he isn't bombing Ukraine. What a group this is. They might as well

What a group this is. They might as well

What a group this is. They might as well call it the Legion of Doom.

call it the Legion of Doom.

call it the Legion of Doom. >> Yes. A great group of people. They're

>> Yes. A great group of people. They're

>> Yes. A great group of people. They're friends of mine, I think. Let me see.

friends of mine, I think. Let me see.

friends of mine, I think. Let me see. >> Yeah. Every one of them is a friend of

>> Yeah. Every one of them is a friend of

>> Yeah. Every one of them is a friend of mine. Usually I have two or three that I

mine. Usually I have two or three that I

mine. Usually I have two or three that I don't like. I don't find them up here. I

don't like. I don't find them up here. I

don't like. I don't find them up here. I like every one of these people. No,

like every one of these people. No,

like every one of these people. No, they're great people. They're great

they're great people. They're great

they're great people. They're great leaders. Hang on. Was it Was that the

leaders. Hang on. Was it Was that the

leaders. Hang on. Was it Was that the devil I saw? Did you

devil I saw? Did you

devil I saw? Did you >> Did you see the devil in there?

>> Did you see the devil in there?

>> Did you see the devil in there? >> Yeah, it was the devil.

>> Yeah, it was the devil.

>> Yeah, it was the devil. >> Okay. Not just me. All right.

>> Okay. Not just me. All right.

>> Okay. Not just me. All right. Supposedly, these people will be working

Supposedly, these people will be working

Supposedly, these people will be working together to rebuild Gaza, which is a

together to rebuild Gaza, which is a

together to rebuild Gaza, which is a project now being spearheaded by a very

project now being spearheaded by a very

project now being spearheaded by a very familiar mannequin face.

familiar mannequin face.

familiar mannequin face. >> Uh Rothel will start with this will show

>> Uh Rothel will start with this will show

>> Uh Rothel will start with this will show a lot of workforce housing. We think

a lot of workforce housing. We think

a lot of workforce housing. We think this could be done in 2 three years.

this could be done in 2 three years.

this could be done in 2 three years. We've already started removing the

We've already started removing the

We've already started removing the rubble uh and doing some of the

rubble uh and doing some of the

rubble uh and doing some of the demolition. And then New Gaza, it could

demolition. And then New Gaza, it could

demolition. And then New Gaza, it could be a hope, it could be a destination,

be a hope, it could be a destination,

be a hope, it could be a destination, have a lot of industry. We're basically

have a lot of industry. We're basically

have a lot of industry. We're basically studying the best practices from all

studying the best practices from all

studying the best practices from all over the world. And we're watching who

over the world. And we're watching who

over the world. And we're watching who does education the best, who does

does education the best, who does

does education the best, who does healthcare delivery the best. And we

healthcare delivery the best. And we

healthcare delivery the best. And we want to encourage all the countries to

want to encourage all the countries to

want to encourage all the countries to be able to follow these best practices.

be able to follow these best practices.

be able to follow these best practices. A lot of the things that President Trump

A lot of the things that President Trump

A lot of the things that President Trump is doing in America. If they're working,

is doing in America. If they're working,

is doing in America. If they're working, we should all be copying them. Hold on a

we should all be copying them. Hold on a

we should all be copying them. Hold on a second. Can I tell you something? I

second. Can I tell you something? I

second. Can I tell you something? I think that's the first time I've ever

think that's the first time I've ever

think that's the first time I've ever heard Jared speak.

heard Jared speak.

heard Jared speak. I didn't know he had a voice. I did.

I didn't know he had a voice. I did.

I didn't know he had a voice. I did. They must have like Teddy Rut's been

They must have like Teddy Rut's been

They must have like Teddy Rut's been that into him or something. All this

that into him or something. All this

that into him or something. All this time he's been like like the dog and

time he's been like like the dog and

time he's been like like the dog and Wallace and Grommet. Quiet. And now all

Wallace and Grommet. Quiet. And now all

Wallace and Grommet. Quiet. And now all of a sudden he's he's Joe Peshy. He's

of a sudden he's he's Joe Peshy. He's

of a sudden he's he's Joe Peshy. He's got a New York accent. He's like, "Lug

got a New York accent. He's like, "Lug

got a New York accent. He's like, "Lug Gaza, buy my time shares." Blah blah

Gaza, buy my time shares." Blah blah

Gaza, buy my time shares." Blah blah blah blah blah. Trump also invited the

blah blah blah. Trump also invited the

blah blah blah. Trump also invited the Pope to join the Board of Peace. That's

Pope to join the Board of Peace. That's

Pope to join the Board of Peace. That's right. The Vatican said Pope the Pope uh

right. The Vatican said Pope the Pope uh

right. The Vatican said Pope the Pope uh received the offer, but it is something

received the offer, but it is something

received the offer, but it is something that requires a bit of time for

that requires a bit of time for

that requires a bit of time for consideration before giving a response,

consideration before giving a response,

consideration before giving a response, which is a polite way of saying they're

which is a polite way of saying they're

which is a polite way of saying they're waiting for the Pope to stop laughing. I

waiting for the Pope to stop laughing. I

waiting for the Pope to stop laughing. I mean, the white smoke coming out of the

mean, the white smoke coming out of the

mean, the white smoke coming out of the Vatican was the Pope ripping a bong hit

Vatican was the Pope ripping a bong hit

Vatican was the Pope ripping a bong hit after getting this letter from Trump. I

after getting this letter from Trump. I

after getting this letter from Trump. I mean, SERIOUSLY, [applause and cheering]

there is a better chance the Pope joins

there is a better chance the Pope joins

there is a better chance the Pope joins Tinder this year than the board of

Tinder this year than the board of

Tinder this year than the board of people. [laughter]

people. [laughter]

people. [laughter] In Washington today, former special

In Washington today, former special

In Washington today, former special counsel Jack Smith testified before the

counsel Jack Smith testified before the

counsel Jack Smith testified before the House Judiciary Committee, and once

House Judiciary Committee, and once

House Judiciary Committee, and once again, he reminded us how crazy it is

again, he reminded us how crazy it is

again, he reminded us how crazy it is that Trump is in the White House and not

that Trump is in the White House and not

that Trump is in the White House and not jail. Rather than accept his defeat in

jail. Rather than accept his defeat in

jail. Rather than accept his defeat in the 2020 election, President Trump

the 2020 election, President Trump

the 2020 election, President Trump engaged in a criminal scheme to overturn

engaged in a criminal scheme to overturn

engaged in a criminal scheme to overturn the results and prevent the lawful

the results and prevent the lawful

the results and prevent the lawful transfer of power. After leaving office

transfer of power. After leaving office

transfer of power. After leaving office in January of 21, President Trump

in January of 21, President Trump

in January of 21, President Trump illegally kept classified documents at

illegally kept classified documents at

illegally kept classified documents at his Marilago Social Club and repeatedly

his Marilago Social Club and repeatedly

his Marilago Social Club and repeatedly tried to obstruct justice to conceal his

tried to obstruct justice to conceal his

tried to obstruct justice to conceal his continued retention of those documents.

continued retention of those documents.

continued retention of those documents. Highly sensitive national security

Highly sensitive national security

Highly sensitive national security information was held in a ballroom and a

information was held in a ballroom and a

information was held in a ballroom and a bathroom.

bathroom.

bathroom. >> Oh, hold on. Well, not just any

>> Oh, hold on. Well, not just any

>> Oh, hold on. Well, not just any bathroom, a golden bathroom. Last place

bathroom, a golden bathroom. Last place

bathroom, a golden bathroom. Last place anybody would look. The place a genius

anybody would look. The place a genius

anybody would look. The place a genius would hide. I mean, is that a crime

would hide. I mean, is that a crime

would hide. I mean, is that a crime or is it five-dimensional chess?

or is it five-dimensional chess?

or is it five-dimensional chess? [applause]

[applause]

[applause] [cheering] Thank you everybody.

[cheering] Thank you everybody.

[cheering] Thank you everybody. Um, many of the Republicans on the

Um, many of the Republicans on the

Um, many of the Republicans on the committee used their time to try to

committee used their time to try to

committee used their time to try to discredit Jack Smith on behalf of their

discredit Jack Smith on behalf of their

discredit Jack Smith on behalf of their overlord to the point where Congressman

overlord to the point where Congressman

overlord to the point where Congressman Eric Swallwell just had enough.

Eric Swallwell just had enough.

Eric Swallwell just had enough. >> These guys are so lucky they're not

>> These guys are so lucky they're not

>> These guys are so lucky they're not under oath because they would have to

under oath because they would have to

under oath because they would have to tell you what they really think of

tell you what they really think of

tell you what they really think of Trump. They call him crooked. They call

Trump. They call him crooked. They call

Trump. They call him crooked. They call him cruel. They call him a scumbag. I've

him cruel. They call him a scumbag. I've

him cruel. They call him a scumbag. I've heard you all say it. You're lucky

heard you all say it. You're lucky

heard you all say it. You're lucky you're not under Trump. But when the

you're not under Trump. But when the

you're not under Trump. But when the lights go on and the cameras are on,

lights go on and the cameras are on,

lights go on and the cameras are on, you're tiny. You're small. You shrink.

you're tiny. You're small. You shrink.

you're tiny. You're small. You shrink. These guys, our Republican colleagues

These guys, our Republican colleagues

These guys, our Republican colleagues are a joke.

are a joke.

are a joke. >> They You know what? They are cute when

>> They You know what? They are cute when

>> They You know what? They are cute when they're little. [applause] The Supreme

they're little. [applause] The Supreme

they're little. [applause] The Supreme Court is expected to rule very soon on

Court is expected to rule very soon on

Court is expected to rule very soon on whether or not to put the gibbos on

whether or not to put the gibbos on

whether or not to put the gibbos on Trump's big beautiful tariffs, which in

Trump's big beautiful tariffs, which in

Trump's big beautiful tariffs, which in case you're wondering how that's going,

case you're wondering how that's going,

case you're wondering how that's going, pretty much exactly how they said it

pretty much exactly how they said it

pretty much exactly how they said it would go. According to new study, the

would go. According to new study, the

would go. According to new study, the American public, we paid 96% of the cost

American public, we paid 96% of the cost

American public, we paid 96% of the cost of the tariffs. That's But the good news

of the tariffs. That's But the good news

of the tariffs. That's But the good news is Trump made $1.4 4 billion last year.

is Trump made $1.4 4 billion last year.

is Trump made $1.4 4 billion last year. So it's called a reverse Robin Hood. You

So it's called a reverse Robin Hood. You

So it's called a reverse Robin Hood. You take from the poor, you give to the rich

take from the poor, you give to the rich

take from the poor, you give to the rich and all thanks to the tariff of

and all thanks to the tariff of

and all thanks to the tariff of Nottingham and cheese. And we paid $200

Nottingham and cheese. And we paid $200

Nottingham and cheese. And we paid $200 billion in tariffs, which is hard to

billion in tariffs, which is hard to

billion in tariffs, which is hard to wrap your head around. What it means in

wrap your head around. What it means in

wrap your head around. What it means in practical terms is most Americans will

practical terms is most Americans will

practical terms is most Americans will never be able to afford a new couch. You

never be able to afford a new couch. You

never be able to afford a new couch. You you know that couch you're sitting on

you know that couch you're sitting on

you know that couch you're sitting on right now, enjoy it. That's your death

right now, enjoy it. That's your death

right now, enjoy it. That's your death couch. Okay? Poor JD Vance could be dry

couch. Okay? Poor JD Vance could be dry

couch. Okay? Poor JD Vance could be dry hump in the same sectional [cheering]

hump in the same sectional [cheering]

hump in the same sectional [cheering] till the end of time. [applause]

till the end of time. [applause]

till the end of time. [applause] Vice President was in Minneapolis today

Vice President was in Minneapolis today

Vice President was in Minneapolis today for a round table with local leaders. He

for a round table with local leaders. He

for a round table with local leaders. He um said one of his goals was to talk to

um said one of his goals was to talk to

um said one of his goals was to talk to people there to try and see what we can

people there to try and see what we can

people there to try and see what we can do better. Here's one. Go home. Send

do better. Here's one. Go home. Send

do better. Here's one. Go home. Send everyone wearing a mask home. That would

everyone wearing a mask home. That would

everyone wearing a mask home. That would be a lot better. And don't go to Maine.

be a lot better. And don't go to Maine.

be a lot better. And don't go to Maine. [cheering] You don't need to be in

[cheering] You don't need to be in

[cheering] You don't need to be in Maine. Let's start with those and go

Maine. Let's start with those and go

Maine. Let's start with those and go from there. [cheering] This is a good

from there. [cheering] This is a good

from there. [cheering] This is a good when Senator Ted Cruz on Tuesday of this

when Senator Ted Cruz on Tuesday of this

when Senator Ted Cruz on Tuesday of this week was spotted on a flight here to

week was spotted on a flight here to

week was spotted on a flight here to California

California

California just as his home state Texas is about to

just as his home state Texas is about to

just as his home state Texas is about to be hit with terrible weather. You

be hit with terrible weather. You

be hit with terrible weather. You remember he famously fled to Cancun in

remember he famously fled to Cancun in

remember he famously fled to Cancun in 2021 to get away from a storm. He he

2021 to get away from a storm. He he

2021 to get away from a storm. He he left his dog behind at the house. So

left his dog behind at the house. So

left his dog behind at the house. So when reporters reach out to his people,

when reporters reach out to his people,

when reporters reach out to his people, they declined to give details about

they declined to give details about

they declined to give details about where he was going and why. But they did

where he was going and why. But they did

where he was going and why. But they did promise he will be back. This trip is

promise he will be back. This trip is

promise he will be back. This trip is pre-planned work travel that was

pre-planned work travel that was

pre-planned work travel that was scheduled weeks in advance and that he

scheduled weeks in advance and that he

scheduled weeks in advance and that he will be back in Texas before this winter

will be back in Texas before this winter

will be back in Texas before this winter weather is set to move in.

weather is set to move in.

weather is set to move in. >> Okay, good. Good. Don't his constituents

>> Okay, good. Good. Don't his constituents

>> Okay, good. Good. Don't his constituents know that if they need him, they can

know that if they need him, they can

know that if they need him, they can just say Beetlejuice three times and he

just say Beetlejuice three times and he

just say Beetlejuice three times and he will appear. [cheering]

will appear. [cheering]

will appear. [cheering] I actually know where Ted Cruz is

I actually know where Ted Cruz is

I actually know where Ted Cruz is [applause] and I'm going to tell you

[applause] and I'm going to tell you

[applause] and I'm going to tell you where he is right now. Ted Cruz is um

where he is right now. Ted Cruz is um

where he is right now. Ted Cruz is um he's at my house. He's in my guest room

he's at my house. He's in my guest room

he's at my house. He's in my guest room under a heat lamp shedding his skin. And

under a heat lamp shedding his skin. And

under a heat lamp shedding his skin. And as soon as soon as he lays eggs, we're

as soon as soon as he lays eggs, we're

as soon as soon as he lays eggs, we're going to send him back home. Don't

going to send him back home. Don't

going to send him back home. Don't [laughter] worry. No, I might I might

[laughter] worry. No, I might I might

[laughter] worry. No, I might I might have to go easy on Sweaty Teddy because

have to go easy on Sweaty Teddy because

have to go easy on Sweaty Teddy because he seems to be the only Republican who's

he seems to be the only Republican who's

he seems to be the only Republican who's kind of even on my side when it comes to

kind of even on my side when it comes to

kind of even on my side when it comes to the FCC. Trump and his Brendan cartel is

the FCC. Trump and his Brendan cartel is

the FCC. Trump and his Brendan cartel is coming for us again. Last night, the

coming for us again. Last night, the

coming for us again. Last night, the president reposted this article. It

president reposted this article. It

president reposted this article. It says, "The FCC is now trying to use

says, "The FCC is now trying to use

says, "The FCC is now trying to use equal time rules to prevent shows like

equal time rules to prevent shows like

equal time rules to prevent shows like ours and the View from conducting

ours and the View from conducting

ours and the View from conducting interviews with candidates. They're

interviews with candidates. They're

interviews with candidates. They're reinterpreting long agreed upon rules to

reinterpreting long agreed upon rules to

reinterpreting long agreed upon rules to stifle us. And this one's a little bit

stifle us. And this one's a little bit

stifle us. And this one's a little bit complicated. It's not as easy as what

complicated. It's not as easy as what

complicated. It's not as easy as what happened the last time. So I want to

happened the last time. So I want to

happened the last time. So I want to break it down. There was a time in this

break it down. There was a time in this

break it down. There was a time in this country before television. Radio was the

country before television. Radio was the

country before television. Radio was the dominant broadcast medium. There were

dominant broadcast medium. There were

dominant broadcast medium. There were huge radio networks. And if a candidate

huge radio networks. And if a candidate

huge radio networks. And if a candidate running for office made an appearance on

running for office made an appearance on

running for office made an appearance on one of those networks, it was a big

one of those networks, it was a big

one of those networks, it was a big deal. Excuse me. It could give the

deal. Excuse me. It could give the

deal. Excuse me. It could give the candidate a major advantage over his

candidate a major advantage over his

candidate a major advantage over his opponents, which gave the broadcasters a

opponents, which gave the broadcasters a

opponents, which gave the broadcasters a lot of power. So in 1927, our government

lot of power. So in 1927, our government

lot of power. So in 1927, our government passed the radio act, which later

passed the radio act, which later

passed the radio act, which later applied to television that required

applied to television that required

applied to television that required over-the-air broadcasters to give equal

over-the-air broadcasters to give equal

over-the-air broadcasters to give equal time for legally qualified candidates.

time for legally qualified candidates.

time for legally qualified candidates. Meaning if you put one candidate on the

Meaning if you put one candidate on the

Meaning if you put one candidate on the air, you had to offer the same amount of

air, you had to offer the same amount of

air, you had to offer the same amount of air time to all the other candidates.

air time to all the other candidates.

air time to all the other candidates. You know, it's not just Republican and

You know, it's not just Republican and

You know, it's not just Republican and Democrats. Sometimes there are 20 people

Democrats. Sometimes there are 20 people

Democrats. Sometimes there are 20 people from 20 different parties running for

from 20 different parties running for

from 20 different parties running for the same spot. And if you couldn't you

the same spot. And if you couldn't you

the same spot. And if you couldn't you can't interview all of them, then you

can't interview all of them, then you

can't interview all of them, then you can't interview any of them. You

can't interview any of them. You

can't interview any of them. You following this, GMO?

following this, GMO?

following this, GMO? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yes.

>> Yeah. Yeah. Yes.

>> Yeah. Yeah. Yes. >> So, in 1959, they came up with an

>> So, in 1959, they came up with an

>> So, in 1959, they came up with an amendment to exempt what they call

amendment to exempt what they call

amendment to exempt what they call bonafide newscasts and bonafide news

bonafide newscasts and bonafide news

bonafide newscasts and bonafide news interviews from the rules governing

interviews from the rules governing

interviews from the rules governing equal time. And that allowed ABC, CBS,

equal time. And that allowed ABC, CBS,

equal time. And that allowed ABC, CBS, NBC, etc. to interview one candidate

NBC, etc. to interview one candidate

NBC, etc. to interview one candidate without having to interview all of them,

without having to interview all of them,

without having to interview all of them, which mostly applied to news programs

which mostly applied to news programs

which mostly applied to news programs until years later when talk shows

until years later when talk shows

until years later when talk shows started having candidates on. In 1960,

started having candidates on. In 1960,

started having candidates on. In 1960, John F. Kennedy went on the Tonight

John F. Kennedy went on the Tonight

John F. Kennedy went on the Tonight Show. Bill Clinton who of course went on

Show. Bill Clinton who of course went on

Show. Bill Clinton who of course went on Arsenal and in 2006 Jay Leno interviewed

Arsenal and in 2006 Jay Leno interviewed

Arsenal and in 2006 Jay Leno interviewed Arnold Schwarzenegger when

Arnold Schwarzenegger when

Arnold Schwarzenegger when Schwarzenegger was running for governor

Schwarzenegger was running for governor

Schwarzenegger was running for governor and the Democrat who's running against

and the Democrat who's running against

and the Democrat who's running against him demanded equal time. He said I want

him demanded equal time. He said I want

him demanded equal time. He said I want to be on too. When he filed a complaint

to be on too. When he filed a complaint

to be on too. When he filed a complaint with the FCC, the FCC denied his

with the FCC, the FCC denied his

with the FCC, the FCC denied his request. They ruled that Arnold

request. They ruled that Arnold

request. They ruled that Arnold appearing on Leno. This was a bonafide

appearing on Leno. This was a bonafide

appearing on Leno. This was a bonafide news interview even though it was a talk

news interview even though it was a talk

news interview even though it was a talk show and therefore not subject to those

show and therefore not subject to those

show and therefore not subject to those equal time rules. And that's how every

equal time rules. And that's how every

equal time rules. And that's how every talk show has operated since then until

talk show has operated since then until

talk show has operated since then until this week when Trump's little ferret in

this week when Trump's little ferret in

this week when Trump's little ferret in the FCC, Brendan Carr, who as you know

the FCC, Brendan Carr, who as you know

the FCC, Brendan Carr, who as you know is doing everything he can to shut us up

is doing everything he can to shut us up

is doing everything he can to shut us up the easy way or the hard way, is trying

the easy way or the hard way, is trying

the easy way or the hard way, is trying to say we no longer qualify for the

to say we no longer qualify for the

to say we no longer qualify for the bonafide news exemption when it comes to

bonafide news exemption when it comes to

bonafide news exemption when it comes to interviewing candidates, which is a

interviewing candidates, which is a

interviewing candidates, which is a sneaky little way of keeping viewpoints

sneaky little way of keeping viewpoints

sneaky little way of keeping viewpoints that aren't his off the air. It's his

that aren't his off the air. It's his

that aren't his off the air. It's his latest attack on free speech. And it's a

latest attack on free speech. And it's a

latest attack on free speech. And it's a joke because this isn't the 50s anymore.

joke because this isn't the 50s anymore.

joke because this isn't the 50s anymore. Back then there were only three major

Back then there were only three major

Back then there were only three major networks. Now we've got cable, we got

networks. Now we've got cable, we got

networks. Now we've got cable, we got streaming, we have satellite, podcast,

streaming, we have satellite, podcast,

streaming, we have satellite, podcast, social media. There are thousands of

social media. There are thousands of

social media. There are thousands of outlets. Now broadcast TV used to

outlets. Now broadcast TV used to

outlets. Now broadcast TV used to account for 100% of viewing. Now it's

account for 100% of viewing. Now it's

account for 100% of viewing. Now it's like 20%. There are so many channels

like 20%. There are so many channels

like 20%. There are so many channels doing and some of doing 247 Trump

doing and some of doing 247 Trump

doing and some of doing 247 Trump programming. Fox News, uh, Newsmax, One

programming. Fox News, uh, Newsmax, One

programming. Fox News, uh, Newsmax, One America News, Real America's Voice. None

America News, Real America's Voice. None

America News, Real America's Voice. None of them are required to give equal time,

of them are required to give equal time,

of them are required to give equal time, but we are because we use the public

but we are because we use the public

but we are because we use the public airways. Equal Time was designed to

airways. Equal Time was designed to

airways. Equal Time was designed to limit how much influence broadcasters

limit how much influence broadcasters

limit how much influence broadcasters have over public opinion. But we're not

have over public opinion. But we're not

have over public opinion. But we're not the only thing on television anymore.

the only thing on television anymore.

the only thing on television anymore. We're a small fish now. We used to be

We're a small fish now. We used to be

We're a small fish now. We used to be the whole pond. Now we're part of like

the whole pond. Now we're part of like

the whole pond. Now we're part of like this enormous Las Vegas buffet of like

this enormous Las Vegas buffet of like

this enormous Las Vegas buffet of like we're the mashed potatoes on the buffet.

we're the mashed potatoes on the buffet.

we're the mashed potatoes on the buffet. And the FCC now wants to mash us even

And the FCC now wants to mash us even

And the FCC now wants to mash us even more. They're matching our potatoes. And

more. They're matching our potatoes. And

more. They're matching our potatoes. And I have no idea what the outcome of this

I have no idea what the outcome of this

I have no idea what the outcome of this is going to be. We'll find out. I guess

is going to be. We'll find out. I guess

is going to be. We'll find out. I guess whatever happens, I want to just point

whatever happens, I want to just point

whatever happens, I want to just point it out because it is another example of

it out because it is another example of

it out because it is another example of this administration trying to squash

this administration trying to squash

this administration trying to squash anyone who doesn't support them by

anyone who doesn't support them by

anyone who doesn't support them by following the rules. And we know how

following the rules. And we know how

following the rules. And we know how much respect these people have for the

much respect these people have for the

much respect these people have for the rules. I mean, just this afternoon,

rules. I mean, just this afternoon,

rules. I mean, just this afternoon, Trump posted this on his exclusive uh

Trump posted this on his exclusive uh

Trump posted this on his exclusive uh partisan social media platform, Truth

partisan social media platform, Truth

partisan social media platform, Truth Social. He wrote record numbers all over

Social. He wrote record numbers all over

Social. He wrote record numbers all over the place. Should I try for a fourth

the place. Should I try for a fourth

the place. Should I try for a fourth term?

term?

term? >> A fourth term? Listen,

>> A fourth term? Listen,

>> A fourth term? Listen, >> never mind a third term. HE'S ON TO A

>> never mind a third term. HE'S ON TO A

>> never mind a third term. HE'S ON TO A FOURTH.

FOURTH.

FOURTH. >> He's even losing the ability to count.

>> He's even losing the ability to count.

>> He's even losing the ability to count. And it's especially upsetting because

And it's especially upsetting because

And it's especially upsetting because we've been working so hard handinhand

we've been working so hard handinhand

we've been working so hard handinhand with the FCC for so many years, bleeping

with the FCC for so many years, bleeping

with the FCC for so many years, bleeping and blurring the big TV moments of the

and blurring the big TV moments of the

and blurring the big TV moments of the week, whether they need it or not. And

week, whether they need it or not. And

week, whether they need it or not. And with that said, once again, it is time

with that said, once again, it is time

with that said, once again, it is time for this week in unnecessary censorship.

for this week in unnecessary censorship.

for this week in unnecessary censorship. [applause and cheering]

President Trump amplifying his demand

President Trump amplifying his demand

President Trump amplifying his demand for Greenland on the world stage and the

for Greenland on the world stage and the

for Greenland on the world stage and the leaders that he's been pressuring to let

leaders that he's been pressuring to let

leaders that he's been pressuring to let him have it.

him have it.

him have it. >> Among the leaders who tried persuading

>> Among the leaders who tried persuading

>> Among the leaders who tried persuading Trump to off was the prime minister of

Trump to off was the prime minister of

Trump to off was the prime minister of Norway.

Norway.

Norway. >> I would argue this president has

>> I would argue this president has

>> I would argue this president has probably more around the world than

probably more around the world than

probably more around the world than anyone else single-handedly.

anyone else single-handedly.

anyone else single-handedly. >> Our country is being

>> Our country is being

>> Our country is being like you a chicken. Whatever they need

like you a chicken. Whatever they need

like you a chicken. Whatever they need me to do, they need ME TO TAKE, YOU

me to do, they need ME TO TAKE, YOU

me to do, they need ME TO TAKE, YOU KNOW, in the front, THE BACK, WHATEVER

KNOW, in the front, THE BACK, WHATEVER

KNOW, in the front, THE BACK, WHATEVER IT IS, I'M GOING TO DIE FOR MY TEAM OUT

IT IS, I'M GOING TO DIE FOR MY TEAM OUT

IT IS, I'M GOING TO DIE FOR MY TEAM OUT THERE. They just debuted an autistic

THERE. They just debuted an autistic

THERE. They just debuted an autistic Barbie. She wears noiseancelling

Barbie. She wears noiseancelling

Barbie. She wears noiseancelling headphones, carries a fidget spinner,

headphones, carries a fidget spinner,

headphones, carries a fidget spinner, and has flappy.

and has flappy.

and has flappy. >> Well, the Fox News common sense

>> Well, the Fox News common sense

>> Well, the Fox News common sense department is a big fan of the old

department is a big fan of the old

department is a big fan of the old saying, me once, on you me twice, on me.

saying, me once, on you me twice, on me.

saying, me once, on you me twice, on me. >> The was just something I couldn't on my

>> The was just something I couldn't on my

>> The was just something I couldn't on my own.

own.

own. >> National relief can help you to become

>> National relief can help you to become

>> National relief can help you to become free.

Ray all day long. $1,000 for you, Ray

Ray all day long. $1,000 for you, Ray

Ray all day long. $1,000 for you, Ray Wilson.