All language subtitles for Shifting.Gears.S02E09.Dog.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb

Hey, Dad, guess what?

Life isn't always
a blistering wound
of chaos and despair.

Look who's in a cheery mood.

Some bookstore must have closed
and turned into
a new dispensary, huh?

I went to an estate sale.

This lady had
the coolest stuff,

and after I eliminated
everything she could have
died in, on, or under,

I bought this.

Huh. Actually looks like
a knockoff of a Frank Matranga,

- a very famous
California potter...
- Hmm.

...but I'm sure the only potter
you know is Harry.

Business has been great,
so I thought
I'd treat myself.

And I haven't bought any art

since I got that poster
of a cat reading the newspaper
on the toilet

that I hung above the toilet.

Uh, hey. Um, you know
where that would fit
is up in my guest room.

You mean my room?

I thought you liked it.

I do like it. It just
doesn't fit the aesthetic here
I've got going on.

I'll put it like a millennial.

I don't like the vibe, bro.

What about my vibe, dude?

God forbid I should have
one thing in this house.

Uh, well, you got two things.

Georgia and that other one.

Carlson. Carl. That guy.

What was his name?

Hey, guys.

This is Carlos Joaquín
de la Mancha Kobe Bryant
Martinez...

...but you can
call him Charlie.

Oh, he's so cute and tiny.

- Kind of makes me
wanna have another--
- No.

A dog.

Where? Hiding behind
that little white rat?

Lily's family
needs someone to dog-sit
while they're in San Diego.

For a funeral,
not for something fun.

Actually, we are going to
SeaWorld after the funeral
and LEGOLAND.

It... I-It's not important.

I told them we could
watch Charlie, if that's okay.

- Of course.
- How about asking
the homeowner?

Please, Grandpa.

He's adorbs.

Who's gonna boost
my TikTok viewer retention?

You are.

Who's gonna stay in a kennel
all weekend?

You are.

Come on, Charlie.

He's here.

Charlie, let's get you
into hair and makeup
for our first video.

Why is he wearing a vest?

Is he parking cars now?

No, he's
an emotional support animal.

What emotions does he support?

The only ones I feel
are shame and embarrassment.

Ignore him.

The only emotional
support animal he believes in
is slow-cooked pork.

Why are you being such a pain?

- You like dogs.
- I love dogs,

but I like
full-size regular dogs.

Labradors, Rottweilers.

That thing looks like
Colonel Sanders
made it with a Labubu.

Is that all his stuff?

Yeah, these are
Charlie's treats, which aren't
as good as they look.

Look, if they didn't want me
to eat 'em,

shouldn't have made them
look like little sausages.

- Oh, and here's
his antianxiety meds.
- Ooh.

- Riley.
- What? I'm not stealing pills
from a dog.

The dosage is way too low.

Oh, and here's his food.

Lily has him on
a strict meat-free diet.

The dog is a vegan?

What else is in there?
Cashew lasagna
and a fear of effort?

Carter, put it down!

What? I want healthy bones
and a shiny coat. Sue me.

Yeah, this is gonna be
a badass Caddy.
You know what you should do

is get your schematics
and start listing
where you wanna go with this.

You got it, boss.
I'll get it to you on Saturday.

- All right, cool.
- You got a little hair on you.

Damn.
I'm with that dog one day,
and I've got hair all over me.

Give me... Give me that thing.

You know,
I used to date a woman
that was into that.

Man, she used to dress me up
like a Phillie Phanatic.

Man, that woman was crazy.

I should call her.

Any on my back there?
Can you grab that?

All right.

I feel like I need consent
before I venture into
the badonkadonk.

Just keep rolling before I
kick you in the badonkadonk.

- Get that junk off
that dirty trunk.
- Easy.

You guys really need
an HR department.

We don't need an HR department.

We like being mean
to each other around here.

Hey, babe, you forgot
your toothbrush last night.

I didn't forget it.

I thought maybe I could keep it
at your place

since I'm spending
so much time there.

You guys are getting serious.

I never even used to
let women know where I live.

My motto: "Go find the freaky.
Don't let the freaky find you."

Well, we can't go to my place.

I've got three roommates,
and we're all dancers,

so there's always one girl
in the shower

and another wrapped in a towel
banging on the door.

Mmm.

You know what?

- Let me help you out.
- Mmm.

How about you
move in with Gabe,
and I move in with them?

You moving in
does kind of make sense.

- Really?
- Yeah.

You're there, like,
every night, and, I mean,

you already moved in
your toothbrush.

Are you asking me
to move in with you?

Stitch started it.

But, yeah, why not?

Not the most romantic thing
I've ever heard, but...

Sure! Why not?

- Wow, this is
so exciting.
- Whoo-hoo!

All right, I'm gonna go break
the news to my roommates.

All right.

The naked ones?

Hey, I'll do it.

Stitch,
it's a fourth-floor walk-up.

I'll make it work.

You know, you got no nuts.
That's empty calories.

In his defense,
he's like an old sea captain

scratching a leg that
hasn't been there for years.

Hey, Pops. Eve sent a picture
from her tour. Wanna see?

No. If your phone's anything
like your laptop,

I definitely don't wanna see
what's on there.

All right, but I'm here
when you're ready to heal, brochacho.

Must be hard
hearing about Eve having all
these incredible adventures.

No, I'm having
my own adventure here

looking at Gabe's punch list
for that Cadillac,

and he keeps putting
a dancing girl emoji on here.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

You just sent Gabe
an eggplant emoji.

Take the dog, okay?

- I need the dog out of here.
- Oh, really?

I can't have a vase.
I can't have a dog.

I can't shout out the answers
during Wheel of Fortune.

You already saw that episode.

It's the same thing
over and over.

It's your house, your rules,

your guest room I have to share
with your globe

where you've blacked out
all the countries
that are communist.

Don't I get any say?

It was bad enough when I was
a teenager, but now I'm a mom,

and I run my own business.

And I'm a homeowner.
Why don't you get yourself
your own home?

You know what? I will.

- Well, good luck with that.
- I'm sick of
not feeling welcome

in what I thought was
my own home.

What you thought was wrong.

Okay, that's it!

Consider this my notice.
We are moving out.

And for your information,
California's not
a communist country.

Just give it time.

Gabe just sent me
a heart emoji.

You started sending these.
Finish it off.

Hey, do you guys know
any apartments
that are cheap but nice?

'Cause the place I'm living in
is free but mean.

Well, you know,
my neighbor's almost a hundred.

I could startle him, tell him
I'm dating his granddaughter.

Why would you wanna move out?

You get to live with
Matt Parker.

You should have seen
what he texted me yesterday.

I need my own space,
but apartments are
so expensive.

Completely unrelated,
these lattes are now $200.

And don't forget to tip.

It's not gonna work.
You know why? Because
I don't think you're that cute.

You're just an odd-looking dog.
That's all there is to it.

All right, all right,
all right, all right,
all right, all right.

Okay, gosh.

Come in here.

You know, the people that
really like you, they're gone.

Maybe for the weekend.
Probably gone forever.

Yeah, that's what Eve did
to me. Gone forever.

Oh, boy.

All right.
They're not gone forever.

Look, don't tell anybody
I did that.

Otherwise, I'll make you watch
those Sarah McLachlan
commercials.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Pretty spooky, right?

All right. A little cozy
but cute.

What do you guys think?

Smells kinda weird.

And that's from the guy
who's single-handedly keeping

"pull my finger" alive.

Nice, huh?

But it's a competitive market.
You need to act fast.

Look, she might fall for your
manufactured scarcity trick,

but we both know
the market is softening.

Pardon my daughter.

She's getting her MBA from
the University of Shark Tank.

Why don't you guys go check out
the bedrooms?

Remember, I need
the bigger bedroom
for my crypto mining farm.

Uh, sorry, no home businesses.

It's not a business.
It's a lifestyle.

Ignore her.
We're not high rollers.

You didn't tell us we'd all
have to share a bathroom.

Yeah, that's not gonna work
for me. I need my tub time.

Is that what you're calling it?

I-I'll let you three discuss.

Mom, we don't wanna live here.

We love living at Grandpa's.

Yeah, his house is like
a fancy hotel.

In every room,
there's a TV and a Bible

that he stole from
a fancy hotel.

But we're living under
his thumb.

Don't you hate
being bossed around
by an unforgiving tyrant?

I mean, Georgia has been around
most of my life, so...

When we lived in Vegas,
we almost never saw
Grandma and Grandpa.

Now Grandma's gone.

And the way Pops eats red meat,
clock's a-ticking.

Okay, fine.

But don't worry, Grandpa's
gonna be here a long time.

That's how evil works.

All right, how about that?
Ooh, you like bacon, huh?

That's good fat.
Well...
...not according to Riley.

If she was here,
she'd say bad fat.

Bad fat. Good fat.

I mean, the country is divided.
Now fat's gotta make a choice.

Yeah, you know what?

I actually kinda like you,
you know?

Gotta say that, Chuck.

Just two dudes watching
a little college basketball.

What could be better, man?

We don't need the women
telling us what to do today,
do we, you know?

I did like Eve though, a lot.

She's different.
Opposites attract sometimes.

It's like...
...bacon and lettuce.

I don't understand
why lettuce went to Korea
when bacon said, "I love you."

That seems
a little weird to me.

I like her a lot though.
Should I text her?

Yeah, why would I text her?
She's the one that left, right?

Hey, Pops.

- Hey, Grandpa.
- Hey, where's your mom?

Oh, she dropped us off.
She's going to Meditate.

It's the name of
that new dispensary
that used to be a bookstore.

What are you doing?

Charlie's not allowed
to have bacon.

You know what? I think
that's really a Saint Bernard

trapped in a body
that didn't get enough protein.

Pops, Lily said
he has a severe allergy.

Probably why he threw up
so much today.

But I thought
it was the chorizo.
It's too spicy for a dog.

You gave him chorizo too?

Quite a bit of it.

- We gotta take him to the vet.
- Pops, I know
I'm new to dating,

but if I kill Lily's dog,
I'm never getting
to first base.

Trust me, that dog has eaten
a lot worse things
than what I gave it.

That's more than
that dog weighs.

Okay, maybe we should
take the dog to the vet.

Riley, what are you
doing here?

I had to get away from my dad
before one of us murders
the other in their sleep.

Me, I'm the murderer.

Also, I brought
a housewarming gift
for you and Amelie.

Oh, thank you.

This is so thoughtful.

Where should I put it?

Um, how about here?

How's the apartment hunting
going?

Terrible.

Turns out it's tough
to beat free at my dad's place.

Yeah, and if you did find
another place for free,

you'd probably have to
call that guy "Daddy" too.

What are you doing?

I'm just getting rid of
some of my stuff to make room
for Amelie's stuff,

because you can't make room
with a partner without
making room for a partner.

I listened to a podcast.

Ooh.

Wow, big step. Good for you.

Is it though?

I just, you know, don't really
want to get rid of my stuff.

Having second thoughts
about living together.

Uh-oh, you getting cold feet?

They're so cold,
I can't feel them.

It happens to everybody.

I got cold feet
right before I married that
stupid son of a bitch Jimmy.

But you and Amelie
are gonna be great.

They're getting colder!
They're ice!

Gabe, this could be
good for you.

It's therapeutic to do
a little spring-cleaning.

Get rid of stuff
that doesn't bring you joy.

Good news, babe.
Oh, hey, Riley.

I found some
amazing accent pillows.

Oh, great.

Maybe you could use them
to smother my joy.

- What?
- I've been talking to Riley.

Yeah.

I realize I'm making
a big mistake.

I can't do this!

What did you say to him?

I didn't say anything.

I love an accent pillow,

especially if it's
an Australian accent.

Oh, crikey,
that's not a pillow.
That's a pillow.

- What's he in for?
- He had a panic attack.

Maybe because you're making him
wear a bow tie.

He kinda looks like a dancer
at a bachelorette strip party.

He's dressed for his birthday,
and now you've ruined it.

Hey, how was
house hunting today?

Well, the places weren't great,

but at least they were
out of our price range.

We told Mom
we don't wanna move.

I just don't think at this age
I'm meant to live
an uncomfortable life.

We love your place.
All the bathrooms have locks.

I get the idea
your mom is miserable,

mostly 'cause she told me
I was making her miserable.

She doesn't mean it.

In Vegas, we were always moving
from place to place.
She hated it.

Remember that time
we lived at Circus Circus?

It was awful awful.

Oh, no, it wasn't.

The Elvis impersonator
taught me long division.

Divide by two, carry the hunk,
a hunk of burning one.

I think Mom just wants a place
that she can call her own.

She never told me any of this.

- Oh, look.
- Charlie is fine.

You can take him home.

Thanks, Doc. You're helping
a young boy become a man.

Yeah.

How much do you charge
to neuter a kid?

Listen, uh, dog's okay though?

- Hundred percent.
- Excellent.

Gave him a very thorough exam.
Top to bottom. Inside and out.

Mmm.

Okay.

What's going on?

Why is he having
second thoughts?

He's just freaking out about
getting rid of his stuff.

It happened to my grandmother.
Of course, she was a hoarder,

and I was throwing away
a 14-year-old can of peaches.

What is with him?

I don't understand why
he's hanging on to his junk.

Don't all men like to
hang on to their junk?

The thing is,
it's not actually junk to Gabe.

Did he ever tell you about
his childhood?

No. He never talks about
that stuff.

Well, it was pretty crappy.
Not a lot of great memories.

This stuff reminds him
of the good times.
Like, uh, this plastic cup.

My dad took Gabe
and my brother to this game
the night Gabe's dad left.

And then, uh, Gabe's dad
blew him off on his birthday,

so we surprised him
with a trip to Medieval Times.

And after,
I told the Green Knight
Gabe had stage four eczema,

so he let him pet
his horse.

I had no idea.

Now I feel bad that
I was pressuring Gabe
to get rid of his stuff.

Well, maybe you
should tell him that.

Hi.

I wasn't eavesdropping,
but, uh, I accept your apology.

Look, just so you know, you can
talk to me about anything.

Even your childhood.

I know. It's just...

It's hard for me to talk about
things that make me sad.

It's like when McDonald's
was serving breakfast all day,

and then they just stopped.

Yeah. With zero warning!

Continue.

It's gonna work out, babe.

We're gonna be so happy here.

Okay.

I should go, uh, with this.

And I think I'll treat myself
to the director's cut
of Encino Man.

What a life I lead.

Look at the tail on that thing.

You're watching Turner & Hooch?

Yeah.

That dog is
a good actor, right?

That Tom Hanks,
uh, I don't know.

Yeah, I know.
I just said that.

By the way,
don't worry about the vase.

It's going back in my room.
Sorry, your guest room.

How about just put it on
our credenza?

Wait, did you say "our"?

Well, as my buddy
Carlos Joaquín de la Mancha
Kobe Bryant Martinez says...

"Mi casa es su casa."

Oh.

- Thanks, Dad.
- There's a little caveat
though.

Ay, Dios mío.

Listen, let's
have you start paying me rent,

but we'll put that into
a savings account

and pretty soon
you'll have down payment
and get your own house.

Hmm. Thanks, Dad. Although,
by then, this will be my home,

and your home will be, well...
...a home.

Okay, but do we have a deal?

- This is our house
with our rules. Deal?
- Hmm.

Speaking of, I was thinking

- we could get
solar panels, or no?
- No, no, no.

This is a house.
It's not some hippie commune

in the People's Republic
of Portland.

- Exactly.
- Okay.

Here you go.

First rent check.

Feels good to be independent.

Oh, if you really want
to feel independent,

I could take you off
the family phone plan.

Easy, tiger.
That check hasn't cleared yet.

- Why are you
putting that there?
- It looks better here.

I'm sorry,
what did you say, Charlie?

Exactly, I agree.

He said,
"It doesn't fit there."

What happened to our house,
our rules?

It's just too big
for the space.

You gave birth to Carter.
You get it.

Ooh.

Carter, your girlfriend's here.

Oh, we're not using
traditional labels.

We're going with boo and bae.

"Boo bae."

Aw, I missed you.

You saw that.

Thanks for
taking care of Charlie.

Oh, of course. We'll miss him.

Don't you want to say goodbye,
Dad?

Sure. One more belly rub.
Come here, boy. Come over here.

You really are
man's best friend.