Original subtitles

Beverly Hills is home to some of the most wealthy and powerful people in the

world. They drive the finest cars, shop at the best boutiques and they live in

the most outrageous homes.

They also have access to the most exclusive and high -end erotic club

I created that club. It's called Sanctum.

Sanctum is a secretive society where we do a black -time masquerade, private

dinner parties, and an erotic theater.

It's a place for my members to explore their wildest fantasies and learn about

their true sexual self.

Welcome to my world.

I've had some, like, gnarly marks being spanked and stuff.

Right. What am I going to do with you, Jackie?

What's, like, the craziest kind of BDSM experience that you've had?

Do you like to be choked?

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Have you ever been choked out?

Um, almost.

Yeah. And was that something you kind of enjoyed? Yeah. Or you were like, what

the fuck are you doing? No, I loved it. It was an ex of mine. You did. You loved

it. It was a lot of fun. You liked it. Yeah. I feel like... Sexuality is kind

a taboo thing and alternative interests, sexually especially.

And I feel like sanctum allows people to start that conversation a little bit

more. What's the most extreme kind of fetish experience you've personally had?

To be honest, I never really had an extreme fetish. Come on. I never did.

on, Nina. Nothing crazy.

Really. That's such bullshit.

Don't even. You know, I have like.

Okay, what's the craziest?

You know, I mean, I like to watch.

all kinds of fetish. I have, like, this fetish for fetish, so I like to watch

and create things.

I watch some porn sometimes, and, like, I get, like, ideas from there which I

put into the show.

I also like to talk to some of the guests sometimes and like see like

their fetishes, what they like to, you know, what they like would like to have,

what they would like to see. So I kind of like trying to create this vision,

this fantasy world for them. I like to see different fetishes and then, you

know, build those stories around those fetishes.

But never anything crazy that I like really did.

Tied up, spanked. I'm not into that at all. Not a bit at all. No.

You look nervous.

What are you thinking about? No, I'm not nervous, but I think I'm pretty vanilla

when it comes to fetish. I don't think so. I know what you're into.

I don't know what you're talking about. When you describe, like... I mean, you

like to eat ass and pussy and... Oh, man! And like anal and all of that.

not a fetish. Not everyone's down for acne. But that is fairly advanced.

I mean, you've got a fairly advanced palate.

You know? You do.

I would not call you vanilla.

With sanctum, I've learned that it's okay to have desires.

And it's okay to be uncertain whether your partner will want those desires or

not. And if she doesn't or he doesn't, then it's fine. You've said it. And it

goes for anything from different positions to...

bringing other people in your relationship.

There's a wide range of desires and fetishes and kinks that everybody has.

So this is very interesting because I'm the same.

I would consider myself pretty vanilla myself.

I am. I love sex and I love sexuality and I can tie someone up and I enjoy it,

but I don't need it.

Sanctum has begun a conversation.

about the exploration of our fantasies and our desires.

And sexuality is still incredibly repressed. And I think sanctum

opposite of repressant. And this is weird because as the people who run this

thing, we're all pretty... Prude.

I have an incredible life and it's beautiful and I'm grateful as fuck.

My philosophy on dating right now literally is just to be real and just be

and be honest and that's what I'm doing. And I'm finding that I'm with some

really beautiful, intelligent, wonderful people who seem to really care for me

and I care for them. And I can feel connections happen and people get close

me, but...

I'm not committing myself to anybody.

There's a part of me that feels uncomfortable or bad about it because I

that I'm not really giving anyone my heart.

But there's really not a day that goes by that I don't wish that I was falling

asleep with Melissa and waking up, you know, with my kids upstairs.

I found my person 20 years ago, you know, but we both changed so much.

We love each other deeply. We always will. And we talk about that.

thing of getting back together, but I don't know if it's possible.

With you it's very different.

We have like this, we connect in a different dimension.

That's what I always think, you know? Yeah, I know. Because I can talk with

about things that I can't talk with other people about.

Like what?

Like crazy stuff at night.

Yeah, I know what you mean. I know what you mean.

My boyfriend is Eyal.

He is from Israel.

We've been together for almost five years.

Bread looks good.

I know you like.

We know. Always when we go to restaurants, if the bread is good,

is good.

I met Alina through a friend, her ex -business partner. She was a friend of

before, and Alina used to have a boyfriend, and I was just waiting for

him to separate.

waiting on the side, waiting, waiting, waiting until the day came, and then we

dated. I was coloring the shoes, remember?

Like the ballet shoes. Yeah. And they're supposed to be black. They turned out

blue. So I have to, like, fix it, like, now.

Yeah, I saw the painting at the apartment. Yeah, I don't even know,

to do with that.

That is so stressful all the time. Come on.

Everything will be good. It's always good for you. Yeah, but it always works

very good. Everyone's happy. I know. I know that a lot of people think of her

as, like, very cold.

She seems very intimidating at the beginning. She's very stiff. But, I

see her differently. I mean, when she's home. She's like a marshmallow.

What is going to be in the party?

Jonathan is working?

Jonathan is working, Ariel, Jackie, Holly, the usual.

Tonight is the big, I like masquerade, the big main party.

So, yeah, there is a lot of, like, dress.

So what else are you planning?

So it's going to be the unicorn painting the ballerina.

And then later for the main show, I have a piano player. Yeah. So he's going to

play piano.

And then the ballerina comes in. Then she does like a dance. I will try to do

on the piano. Really? Yeah.

What, he's a pointer or just some piano player? He's a piano player, yeah. What?

Who's going to be the painter?

Jonathan? Yeah.

I'll make him a unicorn.

And then he's going to paint like a picture.

With what? With his stuff?

I should make something like a...

On his stick, like with a brush, like an extension or something.

The best part of the relationship between Alina is the trust. We trust

other. I trust her 100%. We're different, but we also have a lot of

I mean, she just understands me and I understand her. Where do you find all

those people?

I don't know, right?

I want to go to the party.

We have another event out here in Los Angeles tonight.

And it's always a great time. But there are times that I have these roles at

Sanctum that I'm not happy with.

And playing those roles, you already know, Lena. She wants me to do a few

I don't want to do, and she's, you know, pushing forward, and I'm pushing back.

Are you comfortable telling me, like, what it is that she wants you to do? I

don't think your mind would be able to wrap around it. Being in a relationship

with Tracy while I do these Sanctum events is...

Pretty hard. I try to keep them two separately, and I always have to kind of

sugarcoat everything. I mean, it can't be worse than you being in the hot tub

with the naked girls the other day.

She's actually had me do a far worse thing.

You just asked me to come, right? Really?

Why do you look so stressed out about that?

There's a reason why I would invite you, because I know you too well.

I really didn't even know about this world until him. I've never had a

threesome. I've never done anything publicly.

Like, I'm...

for an all -intensive purpose of a word, like a conservative.

But I feel like I want to find these things out. You need to know, even if

going to hurt me, like, I need to know. There are certain things that are going

to happen that you might not like.

I have roles to play, and I have things that I've got to take care of.

So you've been warned.

Okay, what else do we have to do?

When we do a masquerade, there's a lot to think about, whether it's LA or New

York. I've got work to do, and I'm trying to be set up the day before

That one has a lip gloss mark on it.

I'm going to text Sonia to make sure.

What are you bringing?

I have everything that I need by the day before, so on the day of, I hit my

checklist and...

all the way leading up to 10 o 'clock.

Ice is here. Yeah. It's got delivered.

Yeah, you have a sharpie for now?

You do?

Okay, that's good.

You think you'll be able to, like, stand still for a while?

The parties in LA, they're just, like, so much better. The energy, the weather,

it's, like, different.

It's a different feel. So it's very easy to, like, find, like, just more open

-minded girls that are just more, like, you know, little bigger boobies, and

they're much more, like, you know.

Like cutie girls.

It's more easygoing, I guess.

Like how I like it.

Bring like a few.

Bring like fucking ten.

Because I'm going to need like only three.

For myself.

No, actually, we can't have people drinking.

I'm usually not... No, I'm sorry.

I can leave.

It's not a big deal. Sorry.

It's okay.

Worst thing that can happen, we had the situation before where I had a lamp.

She was part of the show. She's supposed to stand still, and then there was a

performance happening around her.

She had one too many drinks, I guess, so she was, like, wobbly. She couldn't

even stand.

So first you say lamp for, like...

It's not easy to be a lamp.

So this was like a really, one of the bad situations where the lamp was like,

was scared that she's going to fall or something.

Drink your water, no alcohol, okay?

Thank you. You know about it through Donna.

No, I know about it through kind of everybody in L .A. Why have we not

before this moment?

Probably because both of our lives are insane.

Okay. Neil Strauss is a writer and has, you know, forums and conversations

around sexuality and what it is to be a man and how to sort of navigate through

the rules that have been set up around sexuality.

This butt.

Bad butt.

It's all about this butt right here.

So, you know, he's knowledgeable, and we got to know each other a bit before the

party. I don't know what's right or wrong. Right. I just know that the sex,

the endless stream of sexuality is like eating so much lobster and burgers

and mashed potatoes and never getting full.

It's a black hole. Yeah. It's clear to me now that that's not what I want.

Right. Now, the other side of the coin is monogamy. Right.

You know, that is also hard for me. Right, because you're going to be there

you're going to want to go taste the lobster. Yeah, I mean, no matter how in

love I am, it's been challenging for me to be monogamous.

Are we meant to be monogamous or is it a wound that needs to be healed that

causes us to cheat or to stray from our partner, etc.? We're not designed to be

monogamous. Right. We're designed for...

serial monogamy with clandestine adultery.

That's the way we're designed.

I know now, after two years of full exploration, I mean, I've had

every fantasy fulfilled, everything that I could ever dream of with multiple

partners. I mean, just... That's what I did in these years. I know you did. I

went to, like, I tried living with your girlfriend. Did it fulfill you?

Absolutely not. Didn't fulfill me either. So now I'm coming back to this

where I want love.

We need to have this discussion.

We need to like, you know, test the water, you know, and be honest and be

I mean, that's part of the reason I started Sanctum in the first place.

was no one to talk to.

So I created like a little world around me where I could talk about it and

explore it and indulge in it with other people that I must be asking the same

questions as I was. The question is,

Do you really want to, like, have love and intimacy, or do you want to walk

around kind of saying you do and making the same mistakes over and over again?

Right. I learned something from that conversation.

All this stuff doesn't work.

And I've known it for a while, but it hasn't stopped me from walking this

I keep repeating this story.

about wanting to be with my wife and wanting to put my family back together.

I've told that story so many times that I believe it, but I don't know if it's

true. And I don't want to be walking around telling myself some story that's

bullshit.

I'm searching for something right now, and I'd be lying if I didn't say that

there was a pain in my heart, and I'd be lying if I didn't say that I feel it

every day of my life.

But, like, I don't know that I'm a monogamous creature.

You know, I don't know that I could just give up.

all of them for one.

How are you tonight?

Hi, good.

Welcome. Thank you.

Good to see you. Welcome. Welcome. Doing great. Thank you.

I'm Jonathan's girlfriend.

Oh, the painter, the artist. Yeah.

I've never been to his work before.

The way I felt by Tracy being there and me being a unicorn and painting was the

fact that I'm facing a painting. I know Tracy's in the background.

I don't know what to do with myself.

Oh, my.

I'm worried about what she was doing, how she was looking at me, what she

I don't know.

How do you like Jonathan as a unicorn?

Very different.

I'm very grateful also that you allowed me. Oh. Like, he really didn't want me

to come.

Oh, really?

So we were, like, kind of fighting about it. So maybe that's why the painting is

not that great.

Because it's his mood.

Just, like, you know, let me know at the end of the night, like, how you liked

it or, like, if there was something.

I just hope, like, you guys will be okay and you're not going to be, like, flip

out if you see something wrong.

Please. I don't know. Thank you so much. Because, you know, it means a lot to

me, so I want everyone to be happy.

It's just the only thing is, like, when the guests come and they're touching.

It makes me... Like, that is hard to get used to.

Do I feel any special by these women touching me? No.

It's just another day at work.

Oh.

Oh, man.

Oh, my.

But having her there, I'm afraid that she might explode and create a scene

I'm working.

Before my performance, I wanted to check in with Tracy to make sure she's

comfortable with what they're doing and what's going on in front of her.

So what'd you think?

You have to give me time to, like, warm up for this. This is the first time I've

ever seen you do anything that you do. It just makes me think about everything.

Well, I don't think this is the right environment for you. You know, I care

about you a lot, and you mean a lot to me.

I just don't want you to hate me, okay?

Okay.

Well, I got to get going. I have to, uh... I should leave, but I don't like

ever, like, just give up.

Everybody has their own way of looking at life. Everyone has their own way of

living their own lives. But this is a whole new world to me.

And some of the things, this is too much.

He told me that he will do these events as long as they let him.

If I were to be with him and want to have a family with him, I know

that he would still be doing these events. And it's really hard because...

I've just spent so many of my emotions on him, and I feel like,

like, sorry.

I get so worried and upset and stressed. It just makes me a mess, and I never

used to be like this.

I do want him to

leave this lifestyle.

But I don't think he's ready to do that.

So I don't know.

Hey, Mel.

It's Damon. How are you?

Just wanted to see you.

Give me a call when you get the message.

Okay. I love you.

Bye.

You know, seeing Jonathan and his girlfriend unhappy and fighting and, you

confused and hurting, like, I could totally relate.

Thinking about my wife and my kids and wanting that back, and I start to feel,

you know, sad or lonely, and the biggest thing standing between me and her being

back together is sanctum.

I miss you. I love you.

I know. I love you, too.

My heart is still with Melissa, and I miss her and my kids, you know, every

But I've got to make some changes if I want them back.

Hello?

Hey Mel, how are you?