Original subtitles

For as long as I can remember, kids love

For as long as I can remember, kids love

For as long as I can remember, kids love going retro. Now it's Gen Z's turn.

going retro. Now it's Gen Z's turn.

going retro. Now it's Gen Z's turn. They're bringing back everything.

They're bringing back everything.

They're bringing back everything. Lowrise jeans, vinyl records, the

Lowrise jeans, vinyl records, the

Lowrise jeans, vinyl records, the measles. Hey, but it doesn't stop there.

measles. Hey, but it doesn't stop there.

measles. Hey, but it doesn't stop there. >> Gen Z craving nostalgia. It seems that

>> Gen Z craving nostalgia. It seems that

>> Gen Z craving nostalgia. It seems that fascination with the past now extends to

fascination with the past now extends to

fascination with the past now extends to an unlikely trend, smoking. The

an unlikely trend, smoking. The

an unlikely trend, smoking. The generation known for shunning alcohol

generation known for shunning alcohol

generation known for shunning alcohol and other unhealthy habits appears to be

and other unhealthy habits appears to be

and other unhealthy habits appears to be lighting up again.

lighting up again.

lighting up again. >> Wow, these kids are woke.

>> Wow, these kids are woke.

>> Wow, these kids are woke. Black lungs matter.

Black lungs matter.

Black lungs matter. I'M surprised Gen Z even knows how to

I'M surprised Gen Z even knows how to

I'M surprised Gen Z even knows how to hold a cigarette. I thought all they did

hold a cigarette. I thought all they did

hold a cigarette. I thought all they did was scroll, tap, and whack off. But now

was scroll, tap, and whack off. But now

was scroll, tap, and whack off. But now they can scroll, tap, and whack off with

they can scroll, tap, and whack off with

they can scroll, tap, and whack off with emphyma.

emphyma.

emphyma. So why are they suddenly trading their

So why are they suddenly trading their

So why are they suddenly trading their douchebag vapes for cool guys

douchebag vapes for cool guys

douchebag vapes for cool guys cigarettes?

cigarettes?

cigarettes? >> Factors fueling the shift, including

>> Factors fueling the shift, including

>> Factors fueling the shift, including nihilism about the future, the online

nihilism about the future, the online

nihilism about the future, the online quote messy girl aesthetic, celebrity

quote messy girl aesthetic, celebrity

quote messy girl aesthetic, celebrity culture, and the Gen Z's high level of

culture, and the Gen Z's high level of

culture, and the Gen Z's high level of anxiety.

anxiety.

anxiety. >> Wow. Holy [\h__\h] That's why Gen Z is

>> Wow. Holy [\h__\h] That's why Gen Z is

>> Wow. Holy [\h__\h] That's why Gen Z is smoking. I just did it to stick it to

smoking. I just did it to stick it to

smoking. I just did it to stick it to the surgeon general. What a prick.

the surgeon general. What a prick.

the surgeon general. What a prick. But good for you kids. And don't listen

But good for you kids. And don't listen

But good for you kids. And don't listen to the haters who whine about lung

to the haters who whine about lung

to the haters who whine about lung cancer and throat cancer and a

cancer and throat cancer and a

cancer and throat cancer and a drastically shortened lifespan. Trust

drastically shortened lifespan. Trust

drastically shortened lifespan. Trust me, the way things are going, those are

me, the way things are going, those are

me, the way things are going, those are pros, not cons.

pros, not cons.

pros, not cons. Still, leave it to Gen Z to kill that

Still, leave it to Gen Z to kill that

Still, leave it to Gen Z to kill that sweet nicotine buzz by throwing in some

sweet nicotine buzz by throwing in some

sweet nicotine buzz by throwing in some of their idiotic terminology. There's

of their idiotic terminology. There's

of their idiotic terminology. There's even an Instagram account called

even an Instagram account called

even an Instagram account called Sigfluencers created by Jared Oviet.

Sigfluencers created by Jared Oviet.

Sigfluencers created by Jared Oviet. >> Sigfluencers, I guess in the simplest

>> Sigfluencers, I guess in the simplest

>> Sigfluencers, I guess in the simplest terms, is a mood board celebrating hot

terms, is a mood board celebrating hot

terms, is a mood board celebrating hot people smoking cigarettes.

people smoking cigarettes.

people smoking cigarettes. >> Wow. Are you [\h__\h] me? Sigfluencers,

>> Wow. Are you [\h__\h] me? Sigfluencers,

>> Wow. Are you [\h__\h] me? Sigfluencers, or as I used to call them, my parents.

or as I used to call them, my parents.

or as I used to call them, my parents. And since when does smoking need a mood

And since when does smoking need a mood

And since when does smoking need a mood board? The great thing about addiction

board? The great thing about addiction

board? The great thing about addiction is you're always in the mood. Point is,

is you're always in the mood. Point is,

is you're always in the mood. Point is, you don't smoke cigarettes because some

you don't smoke cigarettes because some

you don't smoke cigarettes because some sig fluencer tells you to. You smoke

sig fluencer tells you to. You smoke

sig fluencer tells you to. You smoke cigarettes because you're going through

cigarettes because you're going through

cigarettes because you're going through a custody battle. And for unfortunately,

a custody battle. And for unfortunately,

a custody battle. And for unfortunately, you won.

you won.

you won. But cigarettes aren't the only trend

But cigarettes aren't the only trend

But cigarettes aren't the only trend these young organ banks are resurrecting

these young organ banks are resurrecting

these young organ banks are resurrecting from the dead.

from the dead.

from the dead. >> Flip phones making a comeback. Many

>> Flip phones making a comeback. Many

>> Flip phones making a comeback. Many Americans want to ditch their

Americans want to ditch their

Americans want to ditch their smartphones for so-called dumb phones.

smartphones for so-called dumb phones.

smartphones for so-called dumb phones. >> So, this is my way of taking back my

>> So, this is my way of taking back my

>> So, this is my way of taking back my attention span and deciding what role

attention span and deciding what role

attention span and deciding what role technology plays in my life.

technology plays in my life.

technology plays in my life. >> The idea is to have a phone in your

>> The idea is to have a phone in your

>> The idea is to have a phone in your pocket that isn't constantly.

pocket that isn't constantly.

pocket that isn't constantly. >> You know, I've been listening to nature

>> You know, I've been listening to nature

>> You know, I've been listening to nature a lot. I've been I've been connected.

a lot. I've been I've been connected.

a lot. I've been I've been connected. I've been thinking my thoughts.

>> Of course, you've been thinking your

>> Of course, you've been thinking your

>> Of course, you've been thinking your thoughts.

thoughts.

thoughts. Who else thoughts would you be thinking?

Who else thoughts would you be thinking?

Who else thoughts would you be thinking? I mean, if you were thinking my

I mean, if you were thinking my

I mean, if you were thinking my thoughts, you'd be thinking, "This woman

thoughts, you'd be thinking, "This woman

thoughts, you'd be thinking, "This woman sounds like a idiot."

sounds like a idiot."

sounds like a idiot." But have it your way, Jenzers. Use a

But have it your way, Jenzers. Use a

But have it your way, Jenzers. Use a flip phone. Hope you like 8bit

flip phone. Hope you like 8bit

flip phone. Hope you like 8bit dickpicks.

dickpicks.

dickpicks. Of course, once you reach my age, the

Of course, once you reach my age, the

Of course, once you reach my age, the penis just becomes low res.

penis just becomes low res.

penis just becomes low res. When I unzip my pants, my body plays the

When I unzip my pants, my body plays the

When I unzip my pants, my body plays the sound of Miss Pac-Man dying.

sound of Miss Pac-Man dying.

sound of Miss Pac-Man dying. So, cigarettes, flipones, at least those

So, cigarettes, flipones, at least those

So, cigarettes, flipones, at least those trends are preserving your dignity.

trends are preserving your dignity.

trends are preserving your dignity. >> Allure magazine says that [\h__\h] stamps

>> Allure magazine says that [\h__\h] stamps

>> Allure magazine says that [\h__\h] stamps are making a big comeback with the kids.

are making a big comeback with the kids.

are making a big comeback with the kids. >> Tattoo artists say it's coming back in a

>> Tattoo artists say it's coming back in a

>> Tattoo artists say it's coming back in a big way, and it's actually a power move

big way, and it's actually a power move

big way, and it's actually a power move for women. One saying getting a lower

for women. One saying getting a lower

for women. One saying getting a lower back tat allows women to reclaim a

back tat allows women to reclaim a

back tat allows women to reclaim a negative stereotype. Now you go, girl.

negative stereotype. Now you go, girl.

negative stereotype. Now you go, girl. [\h__\h] stamps are back. Better luck next

[\h__\h] stamps are back. Better luck next

[\h__\h] stamps are back. Better luck next time. Leia piercings.

time. Leia piercings.

time. Leia piercings. But if lower back tats aren't called

But if lower back tats aren't called

But if lower back tats aren't called [\h__\h] stamps anymore, how will I know if

[\h__\h] stamps anymore, how will I know if

[\h__\h] stamps anymore, how will I know if someone's a [\h__\h] Well, I guess the

someone's a [\h__\h] Well, I guess the

someone's a [\h__\h] Well, I guess the only way to tell is if they're sleeping

only way to tell is if they're sleeping

only way to tell is if they're sleeping with me.

with me.

with me. And you might be wondering where those

And you might be wondering where those

And you might be wondering where those kiddos are going to get this above the

kiddos are going to get this above the

kiddos are going to get this above the stink ink. It's at the most retro place

stink ink. It's at the most retro place

stink ink. It's at the most retro place possible.

possible.

possible. >> Malls are making a comeback and it's all

>> Malls are making a comeback and it's all

>> Malls are making a comeback and it's all thanks to Gen Z.

thanks to Gen Z.

thanks to Gen Z. >> Recent surveys finding that they visit

>> Recent surveys finding that they visit

>> Recent surveys finding that they visit malls more than any other generation. I

malls more than any other generation. I

malls more than any other generation. I love going to the Apple store and buying

love going to the Apple store and buying

love going to the Apple store and buying an iPad with a friend.

an iPad with a friend.

an iPad with a friend. >> Jesus, how many iPads are you casually

>> Jesus, how many iPads are you casually

>> Jesus, how many iPads are you casually buying?

buying?

buying? How about giving the Chinese kids uh who

How about giving the Chinese kids uh who

How about giving the Chinese kids uh who make them a chance to rest?

make them a chance to rest?

make them a chance to rest? But that's right. Gen Z is hanging out

But that's right. Gen Z is hanging out

But that's right. Gen Z is hanging out at the mall and a whole new generation

at the mall and a whole new generation

at the mall and a whole new generation is about to experience Panda Express

is about to experience Panda Express

is about to experience Panda Express diarrhea.

diarrhea.

diarrhea. I used to hang around malls all the time

I used to hang around malls all the time

I used to hang around malls all the time because I was sleeping with Annie Anne.

because I was sleeping with Annie Anne.

because I was sleeping with Annie Anne. And yes, she could twist herself into a

And yes, she could twist herself into a

And yes, she could twist herself into a pretzel. And you better believe it made

pretzel. And you better believe it made

pretzel. And you better believe it made the sex way worse,

the sex way worse,

the sex way worse, but in a good way. And since malls are

but in a good way. And since malls are

but in a good way. And since malls are back, you know what that means? I can

back, you know what that means? I can

back, you know what that means? I can start buying my clothes at Hot Topic

start buying my clothes at Hot Topic

start buying my clothes at Hot Topic again.

Hail Satan. But I gotta give these kids

Hail Satan. But I gotta give these kids

Hail Satan. But I gotta give these kids some credit. I think it's great that

some credit. I think it's great that

some credit. I think it's great that young people are exploring the past. In

young people are exploring the past. In

young people are exploring the past. In Gen Z, when you discover cocaine, pick

Gen Z, when you discover cocaine, pick

Gen Z, when you discover cocaine, pick up that flip phone and give Uncle Lou a

up that flip phone and give Uncle Lou a

up that flip phone and give Uncle Lou a call.

call.

call. I'll have you snorting like a pig.