Original subtitles

(dramatic music)

Arliss: For most of us,

the dream of becoming a champion,

remains a fantasy.

(shouting)

But for a special few,

it is very much a reality.

We cheer them,

we live through them.

Athletes are our last warriors.

My job is to make their dreams come true.

My name is Arliss Michaels.

I represent athletes,

these are my stories.

♪ Don't know what it is that makes me love you so ♪

♪ I only know I never wanna let you go ♪

♪ 'Cause you started something oh, can't you see ♪

♪ That ever since we met you had a hold on me ♪

♪ It happens to be true ♪

♪ I only wanna be with you ♪

♪ I just wanna be beside you everywhere ♪

♪ As long as we're together, honey, I don't care ♪

♪ 'Cause you started something oh, can't you see ♪

♪ That ever since we met you had a hold on me ♪

♪ No matter what you do ♪

♪ I only wanna be with you ♪

(snoring)

(whispering)

(Arliss snorts)

Oh, shit.

(beeping)

(dog barking)

Easy, Brus. Easy, boy.

Man #1: Hey, man, he got a Rott?

Man #2: Shh!

Female: 911 operator.

911, there's somebody breaking in to my house...

- No one is available to take your call, please hold. - No, no, don't put me on hold.

Be ready to describe the nature of your emergency...

The Musial, the Williams?

- DiMaggio? No. - (rattling)

Ah!

Arliss, you okay, I heard a crash?

Jesus fucking Christ, Kirby! Why didn't you knock?

I didn't want to scare you!

Hey, you got anything to eat?

Where's that puppy at?

Hey, let's turn on the music, man.

- Arliss, what's up, baby? - Nice robe there.

Guys, guys!

Mi casa es su casa,

but it's three in the morning!

Why didn't your alarm go off?

Oh, he doesn't have an alarm system.

Shh!

Just an alarm company decal.

Arliss, we've got a situation.

What? I saw the game, it's pre-season.

Who gives a shit?

Man, you ain't got no Cheetos, no Doritos.

You ain't got shit for chow.

He's quitting, man, just gave us his two week notice.

Man, that's gonna destroy the team's chemistry.

Who's quitting?

The coach?

No, man, One Stop.

Who's One Stop?

Their pot dealer.

Mm-hmm.

You break into my house at three in the morning

because some drug dealer's quitting?

Pot dealer.

Christ, Kirby, just go get him a nickel bag.

Nickel bag?

What the fuck is a nickel bag?

The league drug trusted them yesterday.

Now, the coast is clear, but One Stop is retiring.

And he's the only drug dealer in L.A.?

Pot dealer, man, we ain't doing drugs.

He's the only pot dealer in L.A.?

Only one we trust.

Players: Always there, always holdin'.

Hey, man, One Stop gets the best shit, man.

The Chernobyl.

$2,000 an ounce.

One hit and you're nice.

Oh, yeah.

$2,000?

Hey, Arliss, these guys are all in their free agent year.

We can't afford to have their numbers go down.

- Word, man. - Yeah, that's what I'm trying to tell you.

Arliss, you got to talk to One Stop.

Change his mind.

No, you want me to talk a pot dealer out of retiring?

All: Thanks, man.

Alright, good idea. That's great.

Arliss: My clients know my office hours are 24/7.

At AMM, we don't punch a time clock.

W. Boggs,

as in Wade Boggs?

That's right.

Wade Boggs who retired before the season started?

That's right,

but the All Star ballots were already printed

with his name on it, so...

Contractually, if he makes the All Star Team,

he's guaranteed 100 grand bonus.

But he isn't playing!

Guaranteed is guaranteed!

That's right.

Hey, if he's elected, it's good for Wade, good for AMM,

and very good for Rita,

who will receive an all expenses paid business class trip to

the tropical isle of Hawaii.

Which you got for free when David Wells did Hollywood Squares.

Hey, it's the least they could do when they wouldn't make

David the center square.

Boss, I got to say, as a former athlete,

I find this kind of ballot stuffing offensive.

Okay, would you find it as offensive as a former agent?

Business is business.

Egad!

Times have changed.

Here is what it takes to get into Tillmont.

A handwritten essay by the student,

a complete background check of the family,

character references,

and most importantly, a personal interview.

What's Tillmont?

Is that division two?

Tillmont's not a college.

It's a private middle school.

It's the private middle school.

Eisner's kids goes there.

Speilberg's kids go there.

We're trying to get David Wells' kids in.

Imagine paying 16 grand for 8th grade.

16 grand for 8th grade?

It's a very exclusive school.

So exclusive, it's got 162 applicants,

but only one spot open.

Uh, boss, we got to go.

Go where?

(no dialogue)

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.

Keep punching.

Aloha.

Jeez, even I don't have Billy.

So, have you really thought this retirement thing through?

I mean, it takes years to put together a successful clientele.

Maybe you should just cut back,

perhaps to, uh, six days a week.

You know, Arliss, I've been hooking your clients up

for a long time.

And during all this time, you never once said to me,

"Yo, Stop, what's up?"

Now, all of a sudden we supposed to be tight?

How about just Monday through Friday?

Sorry.

This week's the last stop for One Stop.

I'm thinking of moving to the country.

Moving to the country?

The season's about to start.

So is the 8th grade.

You're going back to school?

No. My son, Franklin, is coming to live with me.

With another mouth to feed,

you certainly have to make a living!

I'm thinking of opening a sporting goods store

in Lake Tahoe.

You know, somewhere, just somewhere with better schools than L.A.

Mr. Stop.

Pierce.

Ernest Pierce.

Mr. Pierce.

Businessman to businessman,

would you agree that in this world,

it's not what you know, but who you know?

This is true.

I'm sure your son will get a fine education

out in Lake Tahoe,

but will he meet the people

that'll make a difference in his life?

Will he sit in class next to Speilberg's kids?

Magic's, Madonna's?

So, you're saying all this to say what?

If, on the other hand,

he attends the prestigious Tillmont School,

he's virtually guaranteed to rub elbows with the who's who

of his generation.

I thought Stanley said there's only one opening left.

Okay, let me get this straight.

Are you saying you can get Franklin into this school?

Moving to the country isn't gonna open any doors

for your son.

Moving him into an elite school will.

It's all who you know.

Arliss: Here.

I can't believe you made a deal with a drug dealer.

Pot dealer.

And we don't have a deal unless we get his kid into Tillmont.

Why are you stooping to do business with this miscreant?

Why?

Because he keeps four of our highest paid clients,

worth over a quarter of a billion dollars,

happy, that's why.

Now, start putting together his financial records...

Rita: Ow! Oh, my hand!

Oh, ow, my hand!

My hand, it's spasming, I can't control it!

- Whoa, whoa, let me see. Alright, let me see, let me see. - Oh, oh! Ow.

- Alright, does... does that hurt? - Ow! Ow, ow!

Oh, that's it, squeeze the injured area.

Guys, it's not funny, it hurts.

Here you go, one of these ought to work.

Tylenol, codeine, naproxen.

Ow, ow, ow, ow! Oh, god.

I don't know what the hell this one is.

Ah, I think these are Altoids.

Uh, hello!

Someone's gotta take me to a doctor now!

Ow, ow!

Kirby, this is a stupid idea.

I don't want to be treated by one of your friends.

- I'm telling you, this guy is gifted. - Ow.

You know, he's an artist with tape.

Well, then why is he working at some podunk community college?

This is just temporary.

I've got him up for pro-jobs all across the country.

Well, I don't want to see a trainer.

I want to see a doctor.

Look, when I wrenched my ankle playing nude twister,

I hurt so bad I thought it was broken.

Well, you know what, um, my hand feels better.

Okay, Aaron treated me, I was nude and twisting the next day.

Let's go!

Hey, Kirby.

What are you doing here?

Celtics need a new trainer, huh?

I thought you might take a look at a friend of mine,

but she's feeling better.

Ow!

My hand.

Oh, what happened to it?

She was voting for Wade Boggs.

Ow!

Let's take a look.

Janette, he's a trainer.

He's trained to pour these amazing, sexy

"I know everything about your body"

hands all over you. Thank you.

Um, Gene, please? Thank you.

When he rubbed my hand

(whispering) it was like he was rubbing me every where.

Enough already, so, what happened?

Well, have you ever read, The rules?

You know that book about dating and relationships?

You mean, the one that says never have sex

on the first date?

Never say yes for Saturday after Wednesday?

That book's a joke.

Yeah, but I always jump into bed right away and then

the relationship doesn't last as long as a Kevin Costner movie.

I am not gonna do it again.

I am not gonna have sex until I know exactly

where this relationship is going.

Got to go.

Somebody just stepped into the black widow's web.

- Okay, I got to go too. Um, hey. - (beep)

Thank you.

- (clears throat) - Oh, can I help you?

Yes, we're here to see Arliss Michaels.

- Rita: Your name please? - Ernest!

My brother, what's up?

What's up, man? How you doin'?

Meet my boy, Franklin.

Franklin, nice to meet you.

Wow! Ooh, that's some grip there.

You a ballplayer?

Yeah, I pitch.

A pitcher.

How'd you like to see Roger Clemens' glove

from last year's World Series?

Cool, sure. Come on.

Ah. Watch him, he's slick, don't sign nothing.

Don't sign anything, Dad.

My little Shakespeare.

C'mon.

Oh, uh, Rita, why don't you take Mr. Pierce down

to Stanley's office and get started on the application.

And then I have to go to physical therapy.

Again?

Ow!

Thank you, Arliss.

Hmm...

So, I'm a sports consultant.

Sounds about right.

(beeper beeps)

Excuse me.

You got a problem?

Yeah, I prefer you not conduct your business in my office.

Oh, so, I take it you don't approve of what we're doing.

No. No, I don't.

Well, that's cool.

'Cause I don't approve of your tie.

(scoffs)

A typically flip response from a typical drug dealer.

I don't deal drugs.

You know, nine out of ten heroin users started with pot.

And ten out of ten heroin users started with milk.

Listen, man, we're all part of the same hypocrisy.

My clients are your clients.

I can't believe the league turns its back on this.

The league is realistic.

That's why they tell all the players

exactly when their yearly drug test is gonna be.

Besides, man, this ain't about me, it's about my son.

Yeah, let me ask you a question.

Does your son know what you do?

He knows I'm a businessman.

Ah. But he doesn't know what you sell?

You think old man Kennedy told little JFK

where he got his money from?

As a matter of fact,

Where do you think most old money comes from?

What's the legal business today is shrewd business tomorrow.

And two generations from now,

nobody's gonna give a damn where I got my money from, homeboy.

What you do is illegal.

Society is based on rules.

Look, man, my... my father played by the rules, alright?

And he was a broken man before I was ever born.

So, if what I do can break the cycle of poverty for my son,

then in my mind,

I'm Robin "Motherfuckin'" Hood.

These are magnets.

Magnetic pull increases the blood flow.

Just don't you go near any refrigerators.

How's that feel?

Well...

not as effective as your hands.

Oh, alright then.

That's much more therapeutic.

Good.

So, how did you choose

the trainer career path direction?

Not for the money, that's for sure.

You got to love sports if you want to be a trainer.

I like to help people.

Oh, you must like kids.

Working in a college.

- (neck cracks) - Ooh, my neck.

Oh, the body's just compensating.

It's common with an injury.

Just let me work on it.

What I really want to do is work for a pro-team.

Mm, mm-hmm.

Kirby's using his connections to help find me a job.

In the meantime, I'm just hoping some team goes on

a long losing streak.

Why?

Oh, nature of professional sports

says when a team wins, nobody gets fired.

Losing teams, however, they pay the price.

So... um...

must be fun to meet all those famous athletes.

Yeah, whatever.

They're not really my type.

Oh, no? Um...

What is your type?

I like the sensitive, caring...

lips.

Ah!

Wasn't very professional.

Mm! Mm!

Oh! No, no, wait, wait, wait.

Um, you know, we... I... we should stop.

I should be going. I should stop.

You want to go?

No. Yes!

I mean, of course, I don't... I don't want to go,

but I need to go.

Because before this goes any further,

I want to know where this is going.

Oh, The Rules huh?

You know the book?

Mm-hmm.

I'll be there. Alright.

(beep)

We've been waiting forever.

Who the hell is he in there with?

David Wells!

How's baseball's perfect pitcher?

Arliss, what are you doing here?

Uh, scouting trip.

They got a great polo player here.

You know, I've been in playoff games

- less tense than this interview here. - Yeah.

Can you put in a good word for me?

Oh, sure, man, that's what I'm here for.

Thanks, Arliss, you the man.

- Nah, you the man. - Thank you.

Brandon, let's go.

(door opens)

Mr. Pierce, won't you come in?

Yes, still holding.

Ah, Dennis.

Hello.

How are you?

How's Mick?

Ah, no, no, both of your kids are doing great!

Two of our favorite students.

Oh, while I have you, I want to say that I loved Any Given Sunday.

Mm-mm.

Actually, I just wanted to thank you for offering to be in

our senior production of Grease.

That should help raise money for the new gymnasium.

Ha-ha, alright, bye, bye.

Excuse me, gentlemen.

Ah, well, uh, Mr... Mr. Pierce.

Now, you list your occupation as a sports consultant.

Mm-hmm.

You ever work with David Wells?

No, but I hear he's cool.

Yeah, and I never believe the stories

about him and the two women.

On the stolen boat?

I don't buy it.

Yes.

Uh, well, um...

may I ask, what exactly does a sports consultant do?

I help professional athletes focus.

Well, it seems lucrative, $2,000 a visit.

How'd you get into it?

Well, I started young.

Seemed like a good growth business.

In California, it's running wild.

Mm-hmm. Now, I don't see any... any college records here for you.

I never went to college.

He would have, but the Grenada War.

Any form of higher education?

All three: Oh, yeah.

(beeper beeps)

Oh, excuse me, I'm sorry. (clears throat)

Hello.

Melissa.

Loved Breakdown.

Oh, and Melissa,

your offer to sing with the glee club,

that is going to help us build the new gym.

Oh, by the way, is David available?

What?

Oh, I see. Um, well, does she sing?

Uh-huh.

Alright, well, you have a lovely day, Melissa.

Bye-bye.

Excuse me.

Now, Mr. Pierce, I'm afraid that we prefer a Tillmont parent

to be college educated.

Uh, like many African Americans,

Mr. Pierce here did not have the opportunity

So we're trying to find replacements.

We need somebody who can boost the ticket sales, though.

Um, perhaps I can be of some help here.

If it's negotiable.

Well, everything's negotiable.

I'm so glad to hear you say that.

Male Announcer: Special thanks to Arliss Michaels

for bringing us members

of L.A.'s professional basketball team.

Yeah!

I think your boy's gonna love it here at Tillmont.

You hear that? You in, boy.

Yo, Arliss, I can just pay him right now.

No, no, no, no, no. Put that away.

- Put it away, not now. - 'Cause I... I...

Trust me, trust me.

How much is the tuition?

We'll worry about it later, okay?

David.

(no dialogue)

David Wells just fired us.

Oh, well, four for one.

(laughing)

Yeah. (laughs)

(audience groans)

What is this thing?

Some sort of prehistoric thigh-master?

I got what I came for.

Do you know where this relationship is going yet?

Let me take a closer look at the map.

(phone rings)

(answering machine clicks, beeps)

Kirby: Hey, dickwad, pick up, I know you're working late, you train-o-alcoholic.

You're in baby, NHL.

Calgary lost again and they're cleaning house.

They fired the assistant trainer.

You are the new assistant trainer for the Calgary Flames.

Yes, yes!

(beep)

NHL, here I come!

Congratulations.

Thanks, yeah.

New assistant trainer for the Calgary Flames.

Calgary.

Yeah.

That's a long way for me to come visit.

Are you sure you want to go?

Yeah.

You sure you want to stay?

Yeah.

So, that's it, it's over?

It was quick.

It was.

However, now that I know where this relationship is going.

♪ If I had known ♪

♪ You were gonna leave me ♪

♪ I would have tried to stop you, dear ♪

♪ But you slipped away ♪

♪ Just like a whisper ♪

♪ You made my sunshine disappear ♪

♪ So now it's winter ♪

♪ In my heart, a cold win ♪

♪ And a lonely feeling inside ♪

It really made me feel proud

being in that drop off line this morning.

You know what I'm saying? Watching my boy walk into those buildings.

You know what I'm saying?

It was... it was... It was extraterrestrial.

You know...

I feel like my boy is gonna have a chance.

Thanks.

I still have mixed feelings.

What mixed feelings?

This is a win-win for everybody-body.

You know, if there's ever anything I can do,

you just say the word.

Um, as long as you asked.

I was wondering, what does $2,000 pot taste like?

♪ Let's roll it up, if you know what I mean ♪

Don't operate any heavy machinery.

No, no.

♪ Smoke an L out of a Cuban cigar ♪

(phone rings)

Yeah.

No.

I'm on my way.

Is there a problem?

We caught him smoking this

in the Benning-Beatty multi-media lab.

Where'd you get this?

Back in Chicago.

Look...

it was his first day.

He was nervous.

He was trying to fit in.

Peer pressure is a powerful influence,

especially at Franklin's age.

Can't you just give him a two game...

Two week suspension.

I'm afraid we have a zero tolerance policy

here at Tillmont.

Define zero.

It means expulsion.

Expulsion, that's a negotiable term, right?

That is a non-negotiable term.

Have you thought about luxury boxes?

We have them.

Look, I made a deal with the headmaster

not to put this on Franklin's record.

Which means we can apply to another school.

Uh-uh, we're leaving L.A., man.

Look, I know we made a deal,

but I got to look out for my son's best interests.

And L.A. just ain't the place for that.

What about private tutoring, huh?

Missed me with that, dog.

We moving to the country.

He thinks country kids don't smoke pot?

David, what did I tell you?

I spoke to the headmaster personally.

Have I ever let you down?

Oh, your boy's gonna love it here.

You're full of shit, Arliss.

Fuck you!

Don't ever use that language.

David, David, c'mon, it's me.

I was there when you named your son, uh...

So, when you get to Calgary, check out Big Murts.

Great apple martinis.

Kirb man, thanks.

I'm gonna miss you.

See you.

Hey.

Still wearing those magnets.

I'm positively charged.

I miss you already.

Kirb, you got the paperwork for Manny Ramirez'...

I'll call you.

Oh.

Well, that seems to be going well.

It's over.

It's over?

That's some way to end a relationship.

Mine usually end with a restraining order.

He's going to Calgary.

He asked me to go with him.

To Calgary?

You said no, didn't you?

I said no.

It's just not what I want right now.

Of course not. I mean, it's Calgary for God's sake.

I'll tell you what I do want right now.

Male announcer: At third base... (indistinct) Wade Boggs.

Hey, Rafi.

Wade, what are you doing here? You don't even play anymore.

It's all about who you know.

Arliss: Play by the rules and you'll have your day in the sun.

You'll bask in the glow of good fortune

ready for any opportunity which may land at your feet.

Can I get you any towels?

No, thank...

you.

Actually, could you pass me some of that lotion there?

I... I think I missed a spot that's really hard to reach.

Sure, not a problem.

Oh.

Okay, you've got two years of urban distribution.

Five years as field supervisor in Humboldt County.

You've been an official vendor to the CBA and MTV.

Impressive resume.

Man on TV: This is what our cameras caught after the game.

Their seventh loss in a row.

Look at this.

Some sign of life, which is more than they've been showing on the court.

This is gonna kill their free agent value.

Yeah, now, maybe they'll only make six million a year.

Man on TV: Not a team.

Man 2 on TV: You're right, they just don't have the same chemistry.

Arliss: Good business means having good connections.

Arliss always says,

be sure to avoid dubious relationships.

Always search for people of virtuous character

who can elevate you to a higher level.

My name is Arliss Michaels.

I represent athletes.

These...

Kirby, are there any Cheetos or Doritos out there or something?

♪ This is gonna change my life ♪

♪ This is gonna change my life ♪

♪ This is gonna change my life ♪

♪ This is gonna change my life ♪

♪ Baby, when I need you ♪

♪ Girl, you made me a better man ♪

♪ This is the night ♪

♪ Baby, can you do it one more time? ♪

♪ Everything that I need comes from you, girl ♪

♪ Loving you is easy ♪

♪ It's you and only you ♪

♪ This is gonna change my life ♪ (music continues)