Original subtitles

(dramatic music)

Arliss: For most of us,

the dream of becoming a champion,

remains a fantasy.

(shouting)

But for a special few,

it is very much a reality.

We cheer them,

we live through them.

Athletes are our last warriors.

My job is to make their dreams come true.

My name is Arliss Michaels,

I represent athletes,

These are my stories.

♪ Don't know what it is that makes me love you so ♪

♪ I only know I never wanna let you go ♪

♪ 'Cause you started something, oh, can't you see ♪

♪ That ever since we met you had a hold on me ♪

♪ It happens to be true ♪

♪ I only wanna be with you ♪

♪ I just wanna be beside you everywhere ♪

♪ As long as we're together, honey, I don't care ♪

♪ 'Cause you started something oh, can't you see ♪

♪ That ever since we met you had a hold on me ♪

♪ No matter what you do ♪

♪ I only wanna be with you ♪

Arliss: Professional athletics is a routine business.

By that, I mean everything athletes do is a routine.

They are creatures of habit.

Some habits seem harmless,

some peculiar, some compulsive.

Habits root us in familiar terrain,

they become second nature.

Good morning.

- Hold... - No, sorry!

Five grand, on Detroit, at home, over Chicago.

Five grand?

Kirby, your tab's close to 20 G's.

Need I remind you,

Big Richie's not a lending institution.

I'm getting hot.

You haven't won a bet in a month.

Exactly, that's why I'm due to get hot.

Five grand on Detroit, in Detroit.

Alright, it's your funeral.

And, I'll take a tuna sandwich.

That's six bucks.

Cash.

Arliss: Habits, however, can be fickle companions.

Although they provide unconditional support,

there are times when we are better off without them.

Announcer: This is a very important putt

for Sandy Van Alyn.

She'll need this to make the cut for the final two rounds.

The crowd's really pulling for her.

They know she's had a rough road back.

(audience groans)

Shoot.

How about if we all just jump up and down together?

(laughter)

Announcer: Ooh, too bad.

Another heartbreak for Sandy Van Alyn.

That's the third consecutive tournament

in which she's missed the cut.

Let's hope she does better next week

at the Desert Classic.

Thanks.

I guess he drew the wrong player this week.

Nice cologne, though.

I hate it when my cabbie smells better than I do.

Maybe I can get some rich Hollywood clown,

to pay you to play a round with his wife.

Play around with his wife?

Not "play around with his wife,"

Play a round with!

"A round with." (giggles)

Rita, could you help me out?

It's a mess.

But, I figure if you can get me clean,

you could do wonders with that.

Don't worry, Evian.

Good news, Arliss got you a date.

Dear god, what does he look like?

She looks like a judge.

Miss Van Alyn, you're requesting the court

to lower your monthly alimony payments to your ex-husband.

Your honor, I am here representing my client,

because she can no longer afford an attorney.

According to my records, from 1993 to '96,

your client made almost three and a half million dollars.

Yes, but in the three years since,

she's made a grand total of less than $200,000.

Paying $19,000 a month in alimony payments

is no longer affordable.

And, may I also point out though, your honor,

that when she agreed to that figure,

that she was under duress.

I was a drunk, your honor.

Your honor, we all are proud

of miss Van Alyn's recovery from alcoholism,

but, that shouldn't compromise the lifestyle

to which my client's become accustomed.

Lifestyle, when I met him, he was a masseur.

He'd be lucky to make $19,000 in a year,

let alone in a month!

(conversation continues)

Hey, Linda Tripp,

there are better listening devices available.

Quiet!

- You in this week, or not? - What?

The football pool.

No, I'm not "in" this week,

or next week or last week,

and you shouldn't be either!

Detroit, in Detroit, it's a sure thing.

The only sure thing in Detroit

is somebody's gonna get shot!

Pipe down, this is important!

Mr. Michaels, what happened to the money your client earned?

Well, in addition to the exorbitant monthly alimony payments,

she made some unwise business decisions, that,

perhaps, I must take some responsibility for.

But, that being the case,

why continue to punish her for my poor judgment?

If anything, the blame lies with me.

Does that mean you're gonna give her back money?

I believe you misinterpreted what I was trying to say.

Miss Harris, has your client's financial situation changed recently?

Arliss: I make it a habit to go the extra mile.

My client suffered a severe surfing accident,

which has limited his ability...

Arliss: My motto is,

"When times are good, we're great!

"But when times are bad,

we're better!"

Quit? What do you mean, quit?!

The doctor says it's a pre-cancerous lesion,

but, if you quit now, it shouldn't be a problem.

I've been dipping since I was a kid.

Kirby!

You quit smoking, tell Carney it's not hard.

Oh, it's not hard.

I don't know how you can keep that shit in your mouth, anyway.

A big, old lump in your cheek.

Looks like you just gave somebody a blow job!

Are you calling me a fag?

What?

You saying I would suck another man's cock?

No, I...

No, you just said I look like I suck cock.

(gagging)

(choking)

(coughing, spitting)

Trust me, you're gonna be fine.

Arliss, when I pitch, I dip.

Hey, hey! You're Carney Nuxhall. You don't need this stuff.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm Carney Nuxhall,

I don't need this stuff.

Yeah, there you go, there you go!

That's the attitude, man.

Remember, your habits don't control you,

you control your habits.

How offensive is this habit?

As long as we're talking about offensive habits,

I'd like to bring up employees betting on football games.

What are you talking about?

Betting on football is as American

as betting on basketball!

David Gladstone, sports agent,

is having his accreditation stripped

by the Players Association, for gambling.

Now, that's un-American.

No, no, no, Stanley's right.

I mean, if they're crackin' down, we can't afford a scandal.

- (phone rings) - No more gambling.

- Rita: Arliss Michael's office. - I'm on a hot streak!

Besides, Detroit in Detroit is a sure thing.

- Rita: One moment. - The only sure thing in Detroit

Is somebody's gonna get shot.

Arliss, are you expecting a call

from Hathaway's Auction House?

Arliss Michaels.

Good news, your bid of 27,000 was the final bid.

Yes, yes, yes! Great, great!

How soon can you get it over here?

I'll have it delivered to your office

first thing in the morning.

Are you sure you don't want to bid on something

from Babe Ruth or Tyrus Cobb?

No, no, I got what I want, thanks a lot, okay, bye.

(hangs up)

♪ Take out the papers and the trash ♪

(humming)

♪ Or you don't get no spending cash ♪

♪ If you don't scrub that kitchen floor ♪

(snapping)

♪ You ain't gonna rock and roll no more ♪

♪ Yakety-yak ♪

Good news?

You bought something at Hathaway's?

What did you get?

Monty Stratton's won not just a game,

he's won a much greater victory.

As he goes on pitching, winning,

living a rich, full life,

he stands as an inspiration to all of us.

Living proof of what a man can do

if he has the courage and determination

not to admit defeat.

The Stratton Story?

Jimmy Stewart, June Allyson? It won an Academy Award!

Oh, I love June Allyson. 70-years-old,

and she's still has that flip-thing going on in her hair!

When I was a kid, my dad and I used to watch The Stratton Story

on the Million Dollar Movie.

They'd show it 15 times a week.

Who's Monty Stratton?

In the late 30s,

Monty Stratton was on the verge of becoming

Chicago's new ace.

Then, tragedy struck.

While on a hunting trip,

Monty stumbled, the gun discharged, boom!

They had to amputate.

His career, his dreams, seemed over.

But nobody told Monty.

Because he came back to pitch and win again!

Oh, and one other thing.

He did it with a wooden leg.

You're kidding!

Is that true?

Hand to god.

What does that have to do with Hathaway's?

Arliss, you didn't!

No, you didn't.

I did.

You bought Monty Stratton's wooden leg?

I think he'd be happy I have it.

That is so gross.

How much did you pay?

I stole it, 27,000.

(Rita gasps)

You paid $27,000

for a dead ballplayer's wooden leg?

Hey, Billy Crystal paid 250,000

for Mickey Mantle's glove,

and, I guarantee you, The Mick had more than one of those!

♪ Don't you give me no dirty looks ♪

♪ Your papa's hip, he knows what cooks ♪

Arliss: I tell my clients to maintain an even keel.

Never too high, never to low.

For those who compete,

avoiding obsessions is a never-ending battle.

Waitress: One Fresca.

Sandy: Thank you.

So, the judge says, "Miss Van Alyn,

"typically, in alimony cases,

"the sexes are reversed,

"and, whereas, I sympathize with your situation,

"in the same way that you have turned your life around,

"there is also the potential for you

"to turn your golf game around,

"therefore, for the time being,

I am going to continue the payment schedule as is."

- That is such bullshit. - That's bad.

Listen, you're better off, sober and single.

Yeah, clean, baby, clean.

Can I get an "a-woman"!

- A-woman! - A-woman, yeah!

That's easy for you to say, you're not paying.

Don't worry, you'll get them next week

at the Desert Classic.

I beg to differ,

nobody beats Amy Alcott at the Desert Classic.

Ooh.

Hey, did you hear?

"The Prell Challenge" is moving to Riviera.

Alcott: They moved it?

Well, they had to.

See, Nevis got washed away by Hurricane Naomi,

so, they decided to move it to the 'Riv.

Oh, your ass is mine, ladies, I own that course.

And, she's got the trophy to prove it.

Well, listen, I've gotta play in the morning.

I have a 7:50 tee-time.

Yeah, 7:55 here.

Which means we have to hit balls at 6:30.

Which means we have to be up at five.

See you later.

Good night.

Bye.

You know the best thing about missing the cut?

I get to sleep late.

So, do you think Brad Pitt's gonna marry Jennifer Aniston?

Personally, I think, you know, he's stringing her along.

Lucky bitch.

I thought you made that putt.

I did make that putt.

It just didn't go in.

Arliss: Different people, different passions.

As an agent,

I try to maintain an even footing.

Monty Stratton's won

more than a ball game.

He's won a much

greater victory.

As he goes on pitching, winning,

living a rich, full life,

he stands as an inspiration to all of us.

Living proof of what a man can do

if he has the courage and determination

to refuse to admit defeat.

24 to the left, 16 to the right...

Arliss, I was wondering if I could talk to you for a few...

Excuse me!

Doesn't anyone knock around here anymore?

Oh, um...

(stammering)

24 to the left...

To the right.

To the right?

Yes, 24 to the right.

24 to the...

How do you know my combination?

Everyone knows your combination.

Arliss, Sandy's a little strapped.

Do you think you can get her a corporate date

before next month's Prell Challenge?

Well, why not during the challenge?

Why? Because she'll be busy playing.

What do you mean, no?

The network just called.

They want hotter names,

they're droppin' her.

They're dropping her?

It's not personal, it's strictly business.

They feel they're not getting enough bang for the buck.

Bang for the buck?

Yeah, they're not the only ones.

Arliss, you're not thinking of dropping her, are you?

What I'm saying is that for the revenue

she's not bringing in...

Oh, you'd rather kiss the ass

of that homophobic pitcher.

That homophobe...

Carney Nuxhall happens to bring in

hundreds of thousands of dollars into this office.

Your good friend does not.

And I don't kiss ass.

Oh, yes, you do.

You're only worried about your hot clients.

You should be proud of her.

She hasn't had a drink in two years.

She also hasn't won in two years.

Maybe she should have gotten sober after she retired.

Excuse me?

Anyway, I didn't say I was going to drop her.

Arliss, let me tell sandy about The Prell.

No, no, it's my responsibility, she's my client.

She's your client, she's my friend, let me tell her.

No.

(phone rings)

Arliss Michaels' office.

- One second. - (beep)

It's about Carney.

- Ah! - Huh!

Okay, you can tell her.

And I don't kiss ass.

Of course not.

(beep)

Arliss Michaels.

What?

Carney: Ahh! I want my cud! I want my fucking cud!

Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!

Give me my cud!

Ahh!

He's been like this all fucking day!

What are you gonna do about it?

Ahh!

It's just a little panic attack.

He just quit chewing. No!

- Carney: Ahh! - Panic attack?

Panic attack, my ass!

I can't send him out to the mound like that.

He's liable to kill somebody!

Don't worry, you're overreacting, I'll take care of it.

Look out!

Ahh!

I want you to relax.

Stay totally focused on my voice.

(metronome continues clicking)

I want you to feel warm from the top of your head

to the tips of your toes.

Relax your face, your mouth, your jaw.

You feel your head getting heavier.

Drop your head.

You will fall into a nice, deep sleep.

Now that's as good as I've ever seen him throw.

I'd hate to be the poor bastards facing him tonight.

- What'd I tell you, Kevin? - Well, you know...

Huh, did I take care of it? Okay.

It's the Fairburn Technique.

You put the patient in an induction state,

willing to submit his will to somebody else.

Yeah, well, whatever the hell it is, it's working.

I should warn you, though.

He may experience a post transitional reaction.

If he does, I'm available 24 hours a day.

Here's my card.

Oh, that's okay, I've got it.

Joe, let me pick your brain for just a second.

Son-of-a-bitch!

Well, if there's nothing else, I'll be going now.

Hey, doc, hold on, one second.

There's, uh... one more thing.

No, no, no, Detroit over Chicago?

Are you nuts? That's a sucker bet.

But, it's in Detroit, it's a sure thing.

The only sure thing in Detroit

is someone's gonna get shot.

Hey, Joe Morgan!

How's the heart and soul of the big red machine?

Not too good, Arliss.

Look, I appreciate the gift certificates for dinner,

but, Long John Silvers?

Haven't you seen the latest Zagat ratings?

- No. - Well, if you had, then you'd know.

Look, you better limber up those vocal chords.

Long John Silvers, not even Red Lobster!

Carney's throwin' gas!

How'd that hypnotist do it?

You'll find out, because you've got an appointment with him

- at six o'clock tonight. - What?

If he can cure Carney of tobacco,

he can cure you of gambling.

Hypnotize me?

My mind's too strong for that!

Let's tempt sides.

No. Look, boss, I gotta tell you.

I owe some money.

Oh, no.

Almost 20 grand, but I'm feelin' hot.

- Hot? - Let me just get even, and then,

I'll quit gambling.

Six o'clock.

(Carney pitches)

Whoa!

Man, he looks un-hittable.

Have a good hypno-time.

Does this putter make me look fat?

I brought you back something.

Thanks.

Wow, it looks great.

Mm-hmm.

1996.

Four years and a lifetime ago.

Sometimes I miss that girl.

Sandy, I have to tell you something.

I'll tell you a secret.

The day I won this, I was loaded.

Dead drunk.

Maybe I should have gotten sober after I retired.

Don't talk like that.

So, maybe you're in a slump.

A slump? It's two years.

Two years and a quality of life that's so much better.

Is it really?

I'm a competitor, that's what I do,

that's what we all do, compete.

And there is this much difference between all of us.

And do you wanna know what makes up that difference?

Confidence.

We live and die on confidence.

And all I know is that I had a lot more confidence

when I had vodka in this bottle

instead of water.

Do you miss waking up and feeling shitty?

Forgetting what you did the night before,

and who you did it with?

Maybe that's the trade off.

So, you want a drink?

I want to compete.

You will.

Sure, I will.

Hey, did ya hear?

They're holding the challenge

at the scene of the crime.

I was with you when you found out.

Oh, yeah.

So, what'd you want to tell me?

Did you see that Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston got engaged?

I just thought you might like to know.

I should get back to the office.

Okay, look, forget the Detroit bet.

I want to put everything on this.

Are you sure you want to do this?

Oh, yeah, because when I win,

me and Big Richie are even.

Stanley: Knock, knock...

Oh, uh, sorry, already ate.

I haven't, you got any turkey?

Oh, fresh out.

Hey, Jamal Anderson, how's the knee?

Boy, those falcons are grounded without you, huh?

Yeah, rehab went great. How 'bout some tuna?

Sorry, Charlie.

So, Kirby,

I hear you have an appointment.

(laughs) You'll like yourself a lot better.

Oh, yeah, yeah, much, much better.

You're getting off light.

My father once caught me wagering

on the Fisher-Spasky chess match.

He made me write "I will not gamble" one thousand times,

but, it taught me discipline.

Yeah, right, discipline, right.

Listen, I really gotta get going to this appointment, okay?

And I'll catch you later.

Alright. Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

Clean, baby, clean!

(guests chattering)

Sandy, really big fan.

- Thank you, thank you. - Yeah.

Arliss.

Hey.

Oh, I hope you're not here for your commission,

not gonna be much this week.

Hey, hey, this is Arliss Michaels!

You think I only care about my hot clients?

I came down to personally see how you were doing.

That is very sweet of you.

Has, um, Rita been here yet?

Yeah, yeah, she left about an hour ago.

And the two of you spoke, right?

Yeah.

Good, good.

Well, I want you to know that

all of us at AMM are behind you 100 percent.

Thank you, Arliss, I appreciate that.

And between me and you, fuck the networks.

(laughs)

I mean, Sandy Van Alyn not good enough

to compete in the challenge.

Fine, fuck them!

I know it's disappointing, but,

let me tell you a story about Monty Stratton.

He stands as an...

(phone rings)

Excuse me.

Arliss Michaels.

The game starts in two hours,

he's going nuts!

Listen to this!

Ahh!

Sandy, I'm... I'm real sorry, I got an emergency,

I gotta go,

but, remember, you are a competitor.

Bartender: Ladies and gentlemen, this is your last call.

Last call.

(metronome clicking)

I want you to feel warm from the top of your head

to the tips of your toes.

Relax your face, your jaw.

Drop your head.

Start breathing.

In...

(deep inhale)

and out.

(exhales)

In...

(deep inhale)

and out.

Right. You must get rid of all your inhibitions.

Do you remember the comforts of childhood?

Did you ever suck your thumb?

Remember how good that felt?

I want to get you back to that feeling.

Oh, my god! Arliss, how do you know he's gonna be in there?

'Cause I know who he's in there with.

(sucking noises)

In and out.

In and out.

In...

Relax, wait here. It'll just be a second.

Hey, doc, I'm sorry... Whoa, shit!

Careful, he's in a suggestive state.

I'll say, what the fuck are you doing?

It's part of the Fairburn Technique.

I take his oral fixation and transfer it.

What, onto your dick?

Sorry, pal, you're going down!

No, that would be the Holman Technique.

- Arliss, I got a game in an hour. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Just wait, wait, wait, wait!

Start practicing your breathing.

Shut up, and try to lose the hard-on!

Oh.

I mean, if he finds out, he's gonna kill you!

No wonder you're on call 24 hours!

24 to the right, 16 to the left, six to the right.

Kirby, why do you know my combination?

Everybody knows your combination.

(zipper going up)

You must have triggered something

in his unconscious mind.

My porno collection!

Did you take my porno collection?!

- No. No. - Yes!

Yeah, right!

You're in my safe,

you don't take my porno collection,

what the hell else could there be?

No...

Yes.

No.

- Yes. - You didn't!

I did, I gave it to Big Richie for collateral.

Your bookie took a wooden leg for collateral?

The Stratton Story was his dad's favorite movie.

You son-of-a-bitch!

I should have let you suck his cock!

Shall I continue the treatment?

No!

I can't believe it!

You go into my safe, you steal my leg,

and then you gamble it!

This is the worst fuckin' thing you've ever done!!

Wait, there's more.

More? What more?

What did you bet on, Kirby?

What did you bet on?

I bet on Nuxhall to win tonight.

You bet on Carney?

He can't pitch, he's a basket case!

Arliss says he's un-hittable.

Yes, but that was when he was under hyp...

Arliss: In sports, as in life,

we face seminal moments,

when one door closes, another one opens.

Ready.

Thanks, doc.

I hope you don't think I'm some kind of whiney queer.

Not at all, relax your jaw.

Oh, boss, I told you it wouldn't work.

What's Carney doing here? He's gotta pitch tonight.

Arliss: In every life, there are certain turning points.

Pivotal moments when one makes the choice

to overcome obstacles, or fall prey to them.

Announcer: Sandy Van Alyn needs this putt for a 66.

If she sinks this,

it'll be her best round in over a year,

and put her into the first round lead

here at the Desert Classic.

(cheers)

And there's your first round leader.

She's back.

Arliss: Good habits get you through tough times.

A familiar routine calms the nerves

and keeps your aim true.

I'm here with Carney Nuxhall,

who had an amazing performance in his last start.

Arriving at the ballpark only 20 minutes before game time,

he pitched a perfect game victory.

27 batters up, 27 batters down.

I will not gamble...

Stanley: 999...

I will not gamble...

1,000.

Carney: I've been working on some breathing exercises.

Mm, very good, now write, "I will not steal."

But I won.

One!

In NFL news, it was Detroit all over Chicago, 37-to-3,

but, this was a game that was marred by an incident,

in which three people were shot.

All three victims are reported to be in stable condition.

Two!

Arliss: Once we look into the belly of the beast

- and beat down the demons... - Three!

Then, and only then, do we have a leg to stand on.

(cheering and whistling)

Announcer on TV: Monty Stratton has not won, just a ball game,

he's won a greater victory.

As he goes on pitching, winning,

living a rich, full life,

he stands as an inspiration to all of us.

Living proof of what a man can do

if he has the courage and determination

to refuse to admit defeat.

(thunderous applause)

My name is Arliss Michaels.

I represent athletes.

These are my stories.

♪ Those front porch blues ♪

♪ Down the Old Bayou ♪

♪ Stompin' out a beat ♪

♪ People started moving their feet ♪

♪ I took a cigar box ♪

♪ I strung it up with wire ♪

♪ And an old broomstick ♪

♪ Then we nearly started a fire ♪

♪ Nearly started a riot ♪

♪ Started a riot ♪

♪ We nearly started a riot ♪

♪ Nearly started a riot ♪

♪ Couldn't keep us quiet, nearly started a riot ♪

♪ On Easy Street ♪

♪ I took an old tin can ♪

♪ Stuck a magnet inside ♪

♪ Strung it up with wire ♪

♪ They could hear us far and wide ♪

♪ Took a grad's guitar ♪

♪ A big old whammy bar ♪

♪ An old tape to make ♪

♪ Man, I couldn't stay away ♪

(music continues)

♪ I took a little bit of shake ♪

♪ A lot of rattle and roll ♪