Original subtitles

♪ ♪

Arliss: For most of us,

the dream of becoming a champion

remains a fantasy.

(screaming)

But for a special few,

it is very much a reality.

We cheer them,

we live through them.

Athletes are our last warriors.

My job is to make their dreams come true.

♪ ♪

My name is Arliss Michaels.

I represent athletes.

These are my stories.

♪ I don't know what it is that makes me love you so ♪

♪ I only know I never wanna let you go ♪

♪ 'Cause you started something, oh, can't you see ♪

♪ That ever since we met you had a hold on me ♪

♪ It happens to be true ♪

♪ I only wanna be with you ♪

♪ And I just wanna be beside you everywhere ♪

♪ As long as we're together, honey, I don't care ♪

♪ 'Cause you started something, oh, can't you see ♪

♪ That ever since we met you had a hold on me ♪

♪ No matter what you do ♪

♪ I only wanna be with you ♪

♪ It doesn't matter where you go... ♪

Nope. (sigh)

I'll pass.

Ronny, B.A.T.'s a good cause.

They take care of those old timers

that never got a pension. Why won't you go?

There'll be cameras and press and TV, right?

- Right, it's a big party! - (chuckle)

Not my style.

(music on speakers)

You know, it wouldn't hurt to get your face out there,

press a little flesh.

(sigh) Don't start with the Hall of Fame talk, Arliss.

Look, the election's next week.

This is your final year of eligibility.

Out of sight, out of mind.

The work should speak for itself.

It should!

But sometimes it helps to make things happen.

It's the Hall of Fame, Arliss.

Not some popularity contest.

All elections are popularity contests.

14 times, Arliss,

I've waited for that phone call.

14 ti... Y-y-you know...

No more Hall of Fame talk. Here.

- Make yourself useful. - Uncle Arliss,

is my dad gonna get into the Hall of Fame?

Not me.

- Hey, look who's here! - Jan! How are you?

Good, how are you, Arliss?

Arliss: Oh, it's good to see you.

- Good to see you, too. - Can you stay a bit?

Well, actually, no, I'm just here to pick up RJ.

- Aw... - Ready to go, sport?

Yeah, let's jam, Mom.

Jan: I guess we're gonna jam.

(Jan and Arliss laugh)

I'll bring him back Saturday, okay?

- Bye, Jan. - Bye.

- (door bells jingle) - Great girl.

Great girl.

Ron, it's my party. I want you there.

Do it for me.

(sigh)

Do I have to wear a tie?

(snickering)

Hey, babe.

Hey, sugar.

- Hi, Arliss. - Hi.

- I'm meeting Tammy at the Marriott. - (register opens)

Her brother's working happy hour.

I need a good drink.

I downed four margaritas there this morning.

I didn't even get a buzz.

- (register bell rings) - Ping!

So, Arliss,

is my old man gonna make the Hall of Fame?

(chuckle)

(laughter)

(jazz music)

(party chatter)

Reporter: Thanks, Dave.

So, Winfield, I gotta ask you.

When you get inducted into Cooperstown,

which team's cap are you gonna wear?

I mean, you got a few to choose from.

Few? Forget about it!

I started with San Diego,

went to New York,

came back to the Angels...

Ernie Banks!

Mr. Cub, a man who spent his entire career with one club.

Loyalty is everything, Arliss.

Then I went to Toronto.

Then I came to the Twins.

And then I went to Cleveland...

Man, I wish we had free agency when I played.

Why, you would've left Chicago?

No, but I'd have taken

a whole lot more of Mr. Wrigley's money.

Whoa.

- (door opening) - (chuckling)

Quick, shut the door.

♪ ♪

If you're doing what I think you're doing...

Move over.

Hoo hoo, is that the judge?

Kirby: Just like clockwork.

Winnie, I don't think you better look. I think it's your wife.

Hey, at least I know where mine is.

Let me in, let me in.

(party chatter)

Man: Great to see you, Arliss.

(jazz music)

Thanks for coming, Ronny. I, I... it means a lot to me.

I was in the neighborhood, I figured...

- what the hell? - (chuckle)

Alana, you look lovely.

Thank you.

I feel like a martini.

Ha, ha, ha!

Excuse me.

Hey, Arliss, how'd you get

all these sportswriters to show up here?

Uh, food, vodka, food, bourbon, food, scotch.

Uh, Ronny, you know Frank Deford,

baseball journalist extraordinaire.

Frank, good to see you.

So, what's the deal?

You're donating $100,000 of your own money to the B.A.T.?

That's right, I believe in the cause.

And, uh, Arliss, now I believe in miracles.

Oof! Ooh, cynicism, seriously... You got something on your tie.

Hoo! Go get yourself something to eat.

I like this material.

Oh! (chuckle)

- (giggle) - (choke)

What's in it?

Oh! It's a... (chuckle)

It's a blend.

- Unbelievable. - What?

What? Her.

Rita: Substance Abuse Barbie.

I can't believe Ronny divorced Jan to marry that.

Excuse me, that's a client's wife.

I'll thank you to withhold any more unsolicited comments.

No matter how accurate they might be.

(inaudible)

The question isn't whether or not

a woman will ever play in the Major Leagues,

but when will there be another Major League for women?

Let me ask you a question...

Rita, who's that over there?

That's Dave Winfield, and that's Ernie Banks.

No, no, no. Her.

That's, uh, Megan Dowd.

It is her, isn't it?

What the hell is that pain-in-the-ass troublemaker

doing at my party?

I invited her.

You invited her?

She's my Detla Gamma sorority sister.

You said you wanted media types.

Media types, not media whores.

Megan is not a media whore.

She's a brilliant attorney

who cares about people, not fame.

Well, I don't need her at my party making speeches.

Especially when I'm gonna make a speech.

Capice?

Do you make as much money as a man

doing the exact same job as you?

Megan, ix-nay on the eech-spay.

That the boss?

- Mm-hmm. - Oh...

(chuckle) Would you excuse me?

I've gone on long enough.

Besides, this evening is about the ballplayers.

- And Arliss Michaels. - And Arliss Michaels.

(chuckle) Thank you.

Frank: If you were to ask me to name

the last person in the world

who would give any money to a charity

the answer would be

Arliss Michaels.

(laughter)

And so, ladies and gentlemen,

I give you that most generous person...

Arliss Michaels.

(applause)

Well, much as it pains me to say this,

I am happy to donate this money to such a worthy cause.

And I will continue to support B.A.T.

in their noble efforts to care for those

forgotten pioneers of our national pastime.

(applause)

And now, I must confess...

I have an additional motive for inviting you all here tonight.

I'm not gonna lie to you...

- For once. - (laughter)

Part of the reason I brought you here

was to lobby...

for my friend,

Ron Crandell,

for election into baseball's Hall of Fame. Now,

Ronny knows nothing about this.

I mean, if you know Ronny,

he's not one to blow his own horn.

And if you're a stickler for the numbers, no,

he doesn't have 3,000 hits.

He doesn't have 500 home runs.

What he has is something that

can't be measured by statistics.

A work ethic.

I mean, he wasn't flashy.

He wasn't particularly good with a quote.

He was just that...

vanishing breed of American male.

A man who went to work,

day in, day out,

kept his mouth shut,

and did his fucking job.

I mean, I'm sorry if I'm getting emotional here,

and, um, I don't mean to embarrass any of the writers

by telling you how to vote,

and whether you want him in the Hall of Fame.

But, let me ask you a different question.

Would you want him on your team?

I mean, Winfield,

you played against him. Game on the line.

Who didn't you want to see coming up to bat?

- Ronny Crandell. - (approving murmuring)

Ernie, you played with him. Game on the line.

Who'd you want to see the ball hit to?

- Me! - (laughter)

Besides you.

Ronny Crandell.

(approving murmuring)

So, I ask we all raise a glass...

To my friend.

My first baseball client,

I pay you the greatest compliment I can.

You played the game

the way it was meant to be played.

- Here, here. - Man: Whoa, watch it!

- (glass breaking) - (scream)

Oh! Ooh!

(gasp) I'm so sorry.

(murmuring)

Mixed drinks for everyone!

(laughing)

(chuckling)

Here, here.

I remember that Sigma Chi Danny Elliot

cramming his hand into my pants when we danced to that.

I seem to remember your hand being down his pants.

- Details, details. - (giggling)

Ooh, but how about when we closed down the student union?

All the shit we caused.

Yeah, but we triumphed.

Those cafeteria workers unionized,

so I guess you could call it our...

senior class action.

(music playing)

I'm so proud of you, Megan.

You still fight the good fight.

Yeah, what about you, Rita?

You used to help lead the cause.

Eh, y-yeah, well, uh, who has time?

You need to make time.

If you're gonna be this way the whole afternoon,

you are buying lunch.

(car horn)

Kirby: Roy, your fans pay

top dollar to watch a Roy Jones Jr. fight.

- Yeah. - (whiffing)

Exciting. It's so exciting, I just love it!

I'm not saying it's not exciting,

but with effects like these,

at least they get a little bit more of a... show!

Kirby, these entrances

are all hype. This is my show.

WCW wrestlers use these same effects.

I don't wrestle, I box.

Not wrestling, I box.

But with an entrance like this,

you could go out and crochet,

and the crowd'll still go ape-shit!

So, what you dissin' what I do in the ring now?

Here you go, nice and shiny.

Stanley's wing-tips, the boss' loafers,

Rita's "come fuck me" pumps,

and these...

-Fountains, blind rockets, -(imitating fireworks)

and for the grand finale,

kaiser diablo. Tff!

(explosion imitation)

(chuckling)

Where should I put them?

Not here, um...

Put them in the conference room for now.

Okay.

♪ ♪

Ah...

What in the hell is kaiser diablo?

(sucks air through teeth) Oh, yes, George.

(humming)

George. Yeah, baby.

Ooh...

(screaming)

Arliss: Stanley, I need to...

(screaming)

(sigh) Ronny's here. Uh, I need the article.

Ah! Article!

Right... Going!

(opens door)

Eh, going! Right!

♪ ♪

(fuse sparking, hissing)

"From the pen of Frank Deford.

"Last night, I was treated to the gospel

according to Arliss Michaels."

Uh-oh.

"Passionately, he raised the Holy Grail,

"and gave a fiery sermon on

"why Ron Crandell should be in the Hall of Fame.

"Much as I hate to be swayed by an agent,

"I have to admit, I was...

"Michaels delivered a compelling argument for Crandell,

"and I am now convinced he belongs in Cooperstown.

"I urge my fellow baseball writers to join me

"in finally recognizing the unheralded career

of a great athlete."

♪ ♪

Arliss...

I don't wanna jinx it,

but if I do get in,

I want you to introduce me at Cooperstown.

You want me... Cooperstown.

Well, hell, I took a chance on you 23 years ago.

Maybe by now, you can get it right.

I'd, I'd be honored.

(fireworks going off)

Holy shit!

(rockabilly music)

Sorry, only got one.

Get over here!

(firework whistling)

Arliss: What is it?

(yelling)

Looks like fireworks.

Quick, gimme the vest!

(screaming)

(music continues)

(explosions)

(scream)

(explosions)

(fire extinguisher roar)

(police radio)

Shit, I'm still on probation.

Over here, officer, right here!

Kirby: Fuck me!

- Ronny Crandell? - Hey.

You're under arrest. Turn around,

and put your hands behind your back.

(chuckle) All right, Arliss,

where's the stripper?

Officer, what's this about?

A complaint was filed by Alana Crandell this morning,

charging him with spousal abuse.

This is horse shit!

Ronny, don't speak, not a word. Officers, um...

Are the cuffs necessary?

It's a felony. He wears the bracelets.

Can we take the stairs? Please?

Why not? We could use the cardio.

- (radio static) - It's T-38 to dispatch.

We're taking the stairs. Bring the cars around,

and get him outta here.

Ronny, don't say anything.

So, at the risk of starting something,

what are the chances of getting some...

female athletes to become more active?

Megan, female athletes are already extremely active.

You know, you could do some great networking

from your vantage point.

Wait, let me pack a bag

'cause I feel a guilt trip coming on.

(cars pulling up)

(police radio chatter)

Arliss, you were with us last night.

Ronny, Ronny, don't talk!

I'll get the lawyer, I'll meet you at the station.

Just let me take care of this, okay?

Ronny: All right.

Goddamn bitch!

(car doors slam)

Arliss, was that Ronny?

Where the hell have you been?

Say goodbye. We're in a two-minute drill.

- Megan, I gotta go. - What's going on?

I'll call you later.

- (door slams) - Okay, what's he got?

There's 700,000 in Ronny's discretionary account.

Okay, I want to protect it.

He gave just about everything to Jan in the first divorce.

I don't want this woman getting what's left.

The only way to protect that money is to hide it in a place

where even if they can find it, they can't touch it.

- (spray bottle spraying) - Caymans?

(Caribbean music)

(Cayman accent) Yeah, mon.

We'll need a mule.

Ah!

You should've shaved.

I can't do this.

Quit whining.

No...

I always get searched, I fit the profile.

You leave in two hours.

Oh, boss.

Please don't make me do this.

I get paranoid, I start to sweat, I'll get caught.

You leave in two hours,

or you will pay for every fucking bit of damage

in this fucking office.

Call me when you get off the plane.

You should've shaved.

- (tape ripping) - (phones ringing)

Shit.

Here they come.

- Did you have to get Shapiro? - Quiet.

Okay, we posted bail.

$50,000.

I'm gonna be meeting with the District Attorney

and see if we can get him not to file charges.

Okay, great, thanks, Bobby, I appreciate it.

- You're welcome. - Yeah.

By the way, you know that money I owe you

on the Trinidad fight?

Yeah?

We're even.

Rita, why don't you call the office?

Tell them we're on our way. Let's go.

Listen, Arliss.

I swear to you, on my kid's life,

I never raised a hand...

Stop it, okay? Just stop it.

No, no, I want you to know I would never,

never, ever strike a woman.

Ronny, how long have I known you?

- (sigh) - I already know, okay?

Let's go. Anything else?

Yeah, did you have to get Shapiro?

Arliss, I ain't never been arrested for so much as a traffic ticket...

These so-called role models are not gonna get away

with domestic violence anymore.

Reporter: There he is, there he is.

(indistinct chatter)

Arliss: Okay, straight to the car.

We are shocked, outraged, and deeply troubled

at these totally unfounded allegations.

Unfounded allegations?

Is this an unfounded allegation?

It's an allegation of falling down drunk.

(crying)

Rita, let's go.

Rita, Rita! Listen, we have no statement to make at this time

and the facts will come out later.

(turns off TV)

Your sorority sister

just destroyed a good man's dream.

Sorry, I had no idea what she was up to.

Yeah?

Well, I blame you for this.

Me?

I didn't beat anyone up.

Don't ever say that again.

Did you see the bruises?

Yeah, I also saw her apologize

to a parking meter! He's innocent!

(scoff) Yeah, they're all innocent.

I've known this man

for over half my life,

and I'm telling you he didn't do it!

Why, because he's your friend?

You're goddamn right because he's my friend!

How do you really know he didn't do it?

Because he was with me.

Jan.

W-what's going on?

I, um...

I insisted we come.

Ron?

(sigh) For the past, uh, three months, we've been...

we've been seeing each other.

We're talking about getting back together.

That's great.

I mean, that's terrific.

Last night, uh,

after I put Alana to bed,

I had to carry her upstairs,

she was so drunk...

He came over to my house.

Ronny: She must have found out,

and she went nuts.

(sigh)

Why didn't you tell all this to the police?

Arliss, we were committing adultery.

I didn't want anything to hurt Ron's chances

of getting in the Hall.

I know how much it means to him.

E-excuse me, please.

♪ ♪

- (door opens) - Arliss...

I'm, I'm really...

I'm really sorry.

I-I know how hard you work for me.

Hold on, we're not dead yet.

P.A. System: Your attention, please. Announcing general...

TSA Officer: Step forward.

♪ ♪

- (coins jangling) - Step forward.

- (dog barking) - Step forward.

Step forward.

- (jangling continues) - Step forward.

- (barking continues) - Step forward.

Step forward.

We have a visual on the suspect at this time.

(barking)

Step forward.

(guns cocking)

♪ ♪

(music on P.A.)

Uh! Uh?

P.A.: Your attention, please...

This is the final boarding call for Cayman Air Flight 17.

(nervous chuckle)

No...

(gasp) These are sexy.

How about these? These look kinda Jackie O, right?

- Oh, yeah. - Two minutes, Ms. Dowd.

- Thank you. - Ooh!

I have to pee, I have to pee.

(reporters chattering)

Ah! Rita, I'm glad you came.

Shouldn't she be home?

We need her visible.

It's better if you can put a face on domestic violence.

You could've warned me.

That circus almost cost me my job.

I'm sorry,

I know I put you in the line of fire,

there just wasn't time.

Wasn't time? You're my friend,

you could've made time.

I was afraid that you might try and talk me out of it,

and I couldn't let that happen.

C'mon, Rita,

you and I both know that athletes are notorious

for abusing their women.

Megan, he didn't abuse her.

- How do you know? - He can prove it.

(scoff) And you buy that?

I do.

Ready.

Uh, just a second.

(sigh)

(door shuts)

Maybe you're right.

Maybe he didn't do it.

But this is a wonderful opportunity

to educate the public about domestic violence.

You have got to stop.

Sometimes you gotta make things happen.

You are sacrificing an innocent man!

For the sake of the greater good,

sometimes you gotta make sacrifices.

(door opens)

Megan.

(reporters chattering)

C'mon, Rita.

Come with me, stand next to me, Rita.

(inaudible)

Reporters: Ms. Dowd!

Megan: The American male athlete thinks he's invincible.

Hi again, everyone, welcome to the show.

I'm Gary Miller, and we're very pleased

to welcome in for the first time,

Six-time All-Star Ronny Crandell. Ronny, welcome.

- Thanks, Gary. - Ronny, let's get right to it.

This morning the police come and arrest you.

Just a little over an hour ago,

all the charges are dropped,

and all this on the eve of the Hall of Fame election.

Do you think it's gonna affect your chances?

Uh... yeah, probably.

A lot of people say that, um,

Hall-of-Famers should be judged,

um...

like, solely by his, his on-field, uh, performance

but I... I don't agree. I...

To me, there's a lot more to, uh, um...

a player than, than just his game. Um...

On my...

scorecard, um...

character is...

is a lot more important than a batting average.

You know, the commitment it takes to play 162 games,

tha... tha... that's nothing

compared to the commitment it takes to be a,

a loving husband and a father.

Regardless of your innocence,

charges like this can stain a reputation forever.

Are you bitter about all this that happened?

Oh, uh, uh, no, no, no...

I ca... I can't be bitter.

I mean, I have, I got a terrific son.

Uh, I got a woman who loves me.

I got loyal and...

and devoted friends. Um,

and, I don't know,

what more could a man want?

Gary: We'll be right back.

Arliss, if anyone can pull this off, it's you.

I don't know, I don't know.

I do know the biggest mistake

he ever made was letting you go, Jan.

I am so glad the two of you are getting back together again.

We're not getting back together, Arliss.

Wha...

You just said...

What's that old saying?

"Fool me once,

"shame on you.

"Fool me twice,

shame on me."

♪ ♪

I don't get it.

Alana didn't get those bruises falling down.

You're a clever man, Arliss.

Why do you think he never contested my divorce?

What are you saying?

Don't make me spell it out.

Let's just say I'd rather have Ronny Jr.

Be the son of a Hall-of-Famer

than the son of a convicted felon.

I don't believe it.

No.

He knew you wouldn't.

♪ ♪

This was the scene earlier today at the Crandell Hardware store,

as Ronny Crandell, by the smallest of margins,

was elected into Baseball's Hall of Fame.

Ronny: Yes, Mr. Commissioner.

Congratulations, buddy.

Thank you, sir. Thank you. This is... It's...

It's a very great honor.

- (sigh) - (shuts off TV)

Kirby!

Where the hell is the full bottle of Ketel One?

Arliss!

I've left six messages, boy!

I've been trying to get in touch with you all day!

Oh, sorry, I've been swamped.

Hey, boss, I didn't touch your...

(laugh) Ronny, congratulations!

Hey thanks, Kirby. (laugh)

Ow!

Sore chest.

I should've shaved.

So, uh, glad things worked out with you and Alana.

Ronny: What are you talking about?

Uh, Arliss told me to redeposit the money

back into yours and Alana's account.

Our, our joint account?

- We're getting divorced! - Uh...

Kirby, give us a minute.

What happened?

(sigh) Uh,

Kirby called me as soon as he get off the plane.

Uh, he felt it was too dangerous,

so I told him not to take any chances,

and to come right back.

You understand.

That means Alana gets half.

♪ ♪

That's right.

Oh hell, I'm not gonna let anything upset me today!

Save the date, July 9th.

Cooperstown, Arliss!

Cooperstown! (laughing)

Oh, you're not gonna believe this. Um...

I'm unavailable July 9th.

What do you mean unavailable?

Whatever it is, get out of it!

This is the Hall, baby!

I don't think I'll be able to do that.

♪ ♪

Oh.

Uh-huh.

I see.

Oh...

Uh...

RJ wants his Uncle Arliss to know

that he got a scholarship to USC.

I'm happy for him.

Guess he's gonna carry on the Crandell tradition.

Let's hope not.

(Bonnie Raitt's "Nick Of Time" playing)

I remember being at the Grammy Awards

the year this song won.

I had a client who had a thing for Debbie Gibson.

(sigh) 1988.

1989.

'89, you sure?

Senior year.

It's the only CD we had

when we took over the student union.

Megan and I spent the night sleeping on the floor,

wrapped up in our protest banners.

She was my hero.

I thought she could do no wrong.

♪ And still she can't decide ♪

Sometimes you think you know people,

but you don't.

It happens.

Still surprises.

♪ She's scared ♪

You wanna watch the judge?

Sure.

♪ I see my folks, they're getting old ♪

♪ And I watch their bodies change ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ I know they see the same in me ♪

♪ And it makes us both feel strange ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ No matter how you tell... ♪

My name is Arliss Michaels.

- Ow! - Ow!

I represent athletes.

These are my stories.

♪ Those eyes are pretty hard to take ♪

♪ When they're staring back at you ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Scared to run out of time ♪

♪ ♪

♪ When did the choices get so hard? ♪

♪ With so much more at stake ♪

♪ Life gets mighty precious ♪

♪ When there's less of it to waste ♪

(humming)

(humming continues)

♪ Scared to run out of time ♪

♪ Just when I thought I'd had enough ♪

♪ And all my tears were shed ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ No promise left unbroken ♪

♪ There were no painful words unsaid ♪

♪ You came along and showed me ♪

♪ How to leave it all behind ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ You opened up my heart again ♪

♪ And then, much to my surprise ♪

♪ I found my love, baby ♪

♪ Love in the nick of time ♪

♪ Love in the nick ♪

♪ I found love... ♪