Original subtitles

(dramatic music plays)

Arliss: For most of us,

the dream of becoming a champion,

remains a fantasy,

but for a special few,

it is very much a reality.

We cheer them.

We live through them.

Athletes are our last warriors.

My job is to make their dreams come true.

- (water splashes) - (theme music plays)

My name is Arliss Michaels.

I represent athletes.

These are my stories.

♪ Don't know what it is that makes me love you so ♪

♪ I only know I never wanna let you go ♪

♪ 'Cause you started something, oh, can't you see ♪

♪ That ever since we met you had a hold on me? ♪

♪ It happens to be true ♪

♪ I only wanna be with you ♪

♪ I just wanna be beside you everywhere ♪

♪ As long as we're together, honey, I don't care ♪

♪ 'Cause you started something, oh, can't you see ♪

♪ That ever since we met you had a hold on me? ♪

♪ No matter what you do ♪

♪ I only wanna be with you ♪

♪ It doesn't matter where you go or... ♪♪

(speaks Korean)

(people speaks Korean)

A toast to John Kim.

And to that great American industry

that brings our two cultures together, baseball.

Batter up, batter up. (speaks Korean)

And most importantly, to your new Dodger contract.

Three months, 15 million.

No, three years, John.

- Years. - Yeah, notice he got

- The 15 million part right. - (fanfare on TV)

This is it, this is it.

(speaks Korean)

What's she saying?

I don't know.

Why not? You're Korean.

And you're polish Russian.

- So? - So let's hear some Polish Russian.

She is very excited about the Asian Games next month.

It's me!

She said that in LA,

no one is in Korean restaurants when John Kim is pitches.

"Pitching," progressive tense.

My teacher.

Oh my god, there you are!

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm!

(translator speaks Korean)

I look like Raymond Burr in "Godzilla."

Hot, hot, very hot.

Kimchi. Octopus.

No thank you, it gives me heartburn.

You banana.

Arliss: What makes us who we are?

Are we a product of our genetic makeup,

or are we a product of our surroundings?

Nature or nurture?

I say...

(Arliss screams)

(whistle tweets)

ultimately we are who we are.

So where do we come from?

Perhaps the better question is,

"Where are we going?"

What do you mean I've been banned for life?

I'm afraid so. They kicked you out.

For fighting?

That's like being kicked out of hockey for skating.

Yes, but unlike the players,

the referees don't expect to get their noses broken.

Hey, I apologized to him. I even sent him some pumpkin bread.

Yeah, for the broken nose,

but you neglected to apologize for the broken teeth.

Look, I got carried away.

The adrenaline gets going,

and it's not that easy to control.

Besides, they pay me to be the goon.

That's why I'm called "the Enforcer."

Well, now they're paying you nothing.

You're officially out of work.

So what am I gonna do?

Ah, Stanley.

- ♪ ♪ - Yes, uh, well,

Considering your "Q" ratings, your technical skill,

and your cuddly persona,

we believe we've come up with the perfect solution.

What?

Professional wrestling.

Get the fuck out of here!

Hulk hogan made $10 million last year.

That's 10 times what you made playing hockey.

Your shoes, senor.

Kekee, one second please.

It's phony. Wrestling is fake.

Fake? Bullshit!

That blood isn't fake, it's real.

Last night the Macho Man, he beat the shit out of...

Kekee, Kekee, leave the shoes.

Then leave the room.

(speaks Spanish)

As you can see, a lot of people take this seriously.

What kind of people?

Oh, you'd be surprised. I constantly am.

It's still phony.

It's entertainment, big-time entertainment.

Seven out of the top 10 cable shows each week are wrestling.

It's more popular than the NFL,

more popular than the NBA,

way bigger than hockey.

- See? - Sorry to interrupt.

John Kim is waiting for you in your office. It's urgent.

Define "urgent."

Well, he's been...

Drafted?

Into the Army.

But they don't draft people anymore.

Well, they do in Korea.

Well, he's not in Korea.

John, you don't have to go.

You can stay. You can defect.

I have to go.

My mother says I must.

But you just signed a contract!

I know.

Three years, 15 million.

That's right, three years, 15 million.

What are they offering?

Three years, infantry.

This is so wrong.

It's not like they're at war or anything.

That's right, they're not at war. The war is here.

The true heroes are here in America

on the playing field, not the killing field.

That's where your son can be a true hero.

Your son can do more for Korean pride

by staying here and fighting his battles

- out on their pitcher's mound. - (splashes)

♪ ♪

You smoke?

No. Yeah.

Yellow nail,

maybe bad diet.

I thought my diet was pretty good.

My nutritionist has me on lots of fiber and kelp.

Maybe infection.

Infection? Where? Where?

Look, Chun Kim, your son is serving his country brilliantly here.

He's playing at the highest levels

of the greatest game in the world.

He's living a dream.

Do you really want to see him give up his dream?

♪ ♪

My son is a Korean.

Korea wants him, he must go.

Arliss: In life, one's true calling is not always clear.

Hence, identity is

often something that must be wrestled with.

He's big, he's tough,

he loves concussions...

Both giving and getting them.

Guys, we're intrigued. I mean, Doug's got a name.

But when our wrestlers go into the crowd,

they don't really beat the fans senseless.

Hey, if you're talking about that incident in Hartford,

that asshole threw beer on me!

Yeah, well, they're gonna throw beer on you in Portland, Modesto, and Topeka

300 times a year. That's part of the job.

What I don't understand is,

where's the angle? Where's the hook?

He's already got one.

Doug "the Enforcer" Hager.

(chuckles) Well, "Enforcer's" cute and it works for hockey,

but this is wrestling, we need something meaner.

Well, it's not supposed to be mean.

It's supposed to be more...

Heroic.

- Heroic? - Yeah.

I want to be the good guy.

Yeah, and OJ wants to do Hertz commercials again.

(laughs) Come on, give me a break.

- ♪ ♪ - No! I want to be the good guy. I want to hear the cheers.

I want my kids, my wife, my mother to be proud of me,

and you two are gonna help me do it!

You got it?

Not bad.

The kid's got... spunk.

If you're not interested in our client,

there is another wrestling alliance that might be.

Hold on.

600 thousand a year to start.

He wrestles a minimum of a hundred times his first year,

and the Enforcer wins when we say he wins.

Thank you, sir.

God bless.

- It's gonna work out. - Well, where the heck is he?

- ♪ ♪ - He's supposed to be here right now,

And if he gets drafted, I don't get him.

He will be playing for the blue the entire year.

I promise you.

I don't trust you.

You don't trust me?

You don't trust me, after all I've done for you?

What have you done for me?

- Well, what I'll do for you! - What?

Details, details!

♪ ♪

Many people believe this is a Japanese custom,

but in fact, like many things,

they borrowed it from us.

Confucianism is the moral backbone of Korea, Mr. Michaels.

Filial piety is a Confucian virtue.

That is why John will do what his mother tells him.

Yes, but you are telling his mother that he has to go.

With all due respect,

don't you feel that John Kim would serve his country better

if he stayed here

as a revered example of Korean athleticism?

Excuse me, Mr. Michaels, do you... enjoy a wager?

A wager?

What time do you have?

2:52. Do I win?

I will wager that before the clock strikes 3:00

a blossom will fall from this branch.

Okay, all right, for how much?

Oh. No, please, no currency.

I like your tie.

Nicole Miller.

I saw one like it at the Ivy last night.

Fine, ties it is.

Now, Mr. Lee, I'm aware that all Korean men

must serve three years before the age of 28.

However, if we circumvent this...

You're an agent. You are negotiating.

I am reasoning.

Let me explain something to you, Mr. Michaels.

Koreans have a simple word for "no"... (speaks Korean)

which is frequently employed

in response to direct factual questions

as in, "Did you bring an umbrella?"

Trouble begins when interpretation is required,

as in, "Do you prefer Schubert or Mozart?"

"Do you think this is a good plan?"

As in, "Do you think this is going anywhere?"

Korea will go to great lengths to avoid a blunt response of "no."

English does not provide our complicated ways

to suggest rejection.

- (clears throat) - Yes, but...

(clock chimes)

Arliss: The intricate international tapestry of professional sports

provides a cushion for us to land upon.

♪ ♪

(grunts)

Rule number one: Always land feet first.

Okay, okay.

So... what do you think?

Good pedigree.

Strong, quick, not afraid of contact.

(Doug thuds, grunts)

This guy got thrown out of hockey for being too violent.

I didn't bring in Randy "Macho Man" Savage to tell me that.

I need you to show him the moves.

Hey, Enforcer!

Let me show you the proper way to do a headlock.

- (growls) - Oh! Ah!

And when you do this, really spice it up.

- (cracks) - (both shout)

Now, here's how you do the body slam.

(grunts) Oh god!

Looks like hockey, only warmer.

Wrestling is way more demanding.

(Kirby begging)

Hockey's for pussies.

Finally, the pile driver!

(screaming)

We'll have the Enforcer go up against Rick Steiner.

He's a new kid. The promoters will love it.

Then in the match, Steiner's gonna have

the Enforcer in a sleeper hold...

When suddenly he escapes,

and he nails Steiner with a couple of forearm shivers.

Then the Enforcer goes to the top turnbuckle,

he's about ready to come down on Steiner

when all of a sudden, he stops...

You're gonna love this part.

And forgives him.

Oh, forgives him.

Interesting, sympathetic.

And just as the Enforcer is willing to let Steiner go,

Steiner suddenly attacks the Enforcer from behind

and knocks him out.

Oh, boo, boo!

No, no, no, it's perfect.

See, that way the crowd stays on the Enforcer's side

even though he loses the match.

- (gagging) - I like that.

It shows I have a sensitive side.

You have to go talk to the mother.

Chun Kim doesn't like me. She says I'm too American.

Calls me "banana."

Yellow on the outside, white on the inside.

Well, I'm running out of options.

I need you to convince her

that John has to defect.

It's all his mother's fault. She's such an F.O.B.

F.O.B.?

"Fresh Off the Boat,"

refuses to part with the "old ways."

Well, you're the only chance he has.

I mean, be nice to me. I have an infection.

- Where? - I don't know where.

Everywhere! Fuck!

♪ ♪

(bell jingles)

We closed. What you want?

John not here.

This is for you. It's gift.

It's crystallized ginger.

You give gift with two hands, important custom.

Show no weapons up sleeves.

(scoffs) Well, why don't you just frisk me then?

I'm sorry.

Chun Kim, I'm aware that you don't really like me.

I'm sorry for you.

You beautiful blossom, no roots, like Hollywood.

See front of building, no backside.

I'm here for your son.

Where your family from?

Seattle.

No, your family not from Seattle.

Seattle never occupied.

You come with me.

Korea used to be called Joseon,

"Land of the Morning Calm."

Oh. Kongwando.

That's where my grandfather is from.

I've never seen pictures of it before.

Very beautiful.

Your grandmother, she still alive?

No, she's dead.

She was very unhappy.

She was a... a comfort woman.

(breathes shakily)

You know what is, comfort woman?

Yeah, a slave, a sex slave

for the Japanese army.

My mother also.

(emotionally) I understand.

It's nothing to be ashamed of.

You must go to Korea...

(bell on door jingles)

see where you come from.

(door closes)

Hi.

(women chuckle)

What are you doing?

(mumbles)

We gonna eat.

Rita stays for dinner.

Now she eats Korean food.

She gonna like.

- (grunts) - (crowd cheering)

Announcer: Rick Steiner back body drops

the Enforcer into the match!

And now the coup de grace,

Rick Steiner has the Enforcer

in his patented sleeper hold!

Announcer 2: Oh, the Enforcer is in trouble.

Now he escapes.

Announcer 2: The Enforcer has escaped!

He sends Steiner to the ropes!

And he nails Steiner with a forearm shiver.

Uh-oh! The Enforcer is about to drop the hammer on Rick Steiner!

Love me!

I'm a hero!

Yeah!

And now he forgives him.

No! No!

- Wait a minute, he's not going to do it! - (crowd booing)

He's showing compassion!

And look at this, they're booing the Enforcer.

They do not want him to spare Rick Steiner!

They want him to get on him!

Announcer 2: The crowd wants him to crush Rick Steiner.

But I'm sure the Enforcer will show him mercy.

However, the booing seems to be getting to him.

It's better to forgive!

(booing)

Fuck you then!

(shouts)

Holy Christmas! Steiner's out cold!

(cheering)

What the hell is this?

Improvisation.

Improvisation? This isn't jazz.

He's swerving us. He's changing the finish.

(grunts, shouts)

Oh! He's out of control!

Announcer: And he's going out of the ring.

He's going towards the fans!

The Enforcer... Hey, a fan just threw...

He's got the fan! He's dropped the fan over the safety rail!

He's going nuts! His agent's in there!

He's got him up in the rack!

Announcer 2: He's got his agent in the... there's the airplane spin!

♪ ♪

Madeleine Albright won't return my phone calls.

I mean, what could she possibly be doing that's more important than this?

I went to see Mrs. Kim.

Ri... oh, this could mean a raise.

I agree with her that John should go to Korea.

It's an honor for him to be asked to serve.

Did you inhale a bottle of nail polish remover?

What are you talking about?

♪ ♪

(speaks Korean)

I accept your resignation!

My chance to reciprocate with a complimentary polish.

- Thank you. - I'll do them in the conference room.

Excellent, Kekee. Excellent.

I cannot thank you enough

for spending the time to have tea with me.

I hope this doesn't take very long.

I have tickets tonight to see "Cabaret."

Oh, I love Teri Hatcher!

But if John breaks his contract with the Dodgers,

the Confucian values of honesty, courtesy, dignity

would be greatly compromised.

I hope you didn't call me here

to enlighten me on Confucianism.

Mr. Lee, I have a wager for you.

♪ ♪

I'm listening.

You are aware that Korea will play Japan

in next month's Asian Games.

Yes.

I would think that Korea would love to see

its most famous native son

take the mound against their greatest arch rival.

Of course, but what is the wager?

If John Kim pitches and wins against Japan next month,

he'll be excused from the Korean army

and return to Los Angeles.

And if he loses?

He will fulfill all three years of his military obligation.

(sighs)

I do not like this wager.

I have nothing to gain.

Well, at the risk of being contentious,

I could hold up John's extradition

for at least three months.

In fact, I've enlisted the aid of Secretary of State Madeleine Albright.

She's most happy to help out on this.

- Really? - (mumbles) Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, she's going to be at the embassy tomorrow for dinner.

I'll have ample time to plead my case.

Now, if I could have my shoes.

Of course. Rita!

Would you tell Kekee to bring the consul's shoes?

I'm sorry, Kekee had an emergency,

but he'll be right back.

My god, what kind of emergency?

I don't know, something to do with his fingers.

(shouting)

(punching on TV)

♪ ♪

(sighs)

Mr. Michaels, I do not appreciate your tactics.

What tactics?

You know, I really think you should reconsider my offer.

I mean, wouldn't you love to see Korea beat Japan?

Get back for those times they kicked the shit out of you in little league?

What I would like are my shoes.

I'm sure they'll be here any moment.

- (Kekee shouting) - (crowd cheering)

What if I sweeten the pot?

You're a man who enjoys fine theater.

What if I get you front row tickets to Jennifer Aniston as Mother Courage?

My patience is running thin.

Well, maybe something a little less refined.

How about a lap-dance at The Shaved Cookie?

(sighs) Mr. Michaels, I've had enough.

John is going to serve, with or without my shoes.

Let me just say...

There's nothing left to say.

- Oh, oh, wait. - Goodbye, Mr. Michaels.

Wait, wait, wait!

Arliss, would you believe

I've been banned for life from the WCW?

- Doug, not now, I'm in a meeting. - Oh, my god!

He's the Enforcer!

I saw you last night on pay-per-view! You kicked ass!

Submission hold, sleeper! (laughs)

You're a wrestling fan?

Oh, yes, I'm a key investor

in the Pan Pacific Wrestling tour. Are you surprised?

Constantly.

First hockey, now wrestling.

What the hell else can I be banned from?

I don't know. Try bartending school. You're on your own.

Mr. Lee, as a wrestling aficionado,

wouldn't your tour welcome a new star,

an international star?

Perhaps.

Let's review the stakes of your wager.

Yes!

(speaks Korean)

L'chaim!

Arliss: In our neverending quest

- to find out who we are, - (grunts)

- Sometimes it's best to go back to our roots. - (all grunting)

For when we find our true identity,

only then can we be true to ourselves.

Our roots are unavoidable and inevitable.

We must honor them.

Yeah!

C'mon, John!

Rita: John looks so good in Korean blue,

as opposed to Dodger blue.

Meanwhile, if he loses we'll be singing the blues

while he's stuck in a foxhole for three years.

Relax, he's a major league pitcher.

His stuff is un-hittable.

Yeah, of course. You're right. What am I thinking about?

C'mon, John!

(Arliss narrates) I tell my clients

that the greatness achieved today

would be impossible

without the greatness achieved

by our forefathers.

(bat cracks)

(ball whistles)

("Cabaret" playing)

Relax! Only 978 more days to go!

Arliss: My name is Arliss Michaels.

I represent athletes.

These are my stories.

(woman sings in Korean)

♪ ♪