Original subtitles

- Here you go, Tim. Huh? - (chuckles)

Why don't you take a look at that?

Is that your Gulfstream?

Sure is. And if you sign with me,

the AMM company jet will be at Tim Couch's disposal

24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Wow! Arliss, man, you got a deal.

- All right. Great, let's get some lunch. - All right.

- Where do you feel like going? - Maui.

Arliss: For most of us,

the dream of becoming a champion,

remains a fantasy,

but for a special few,

it is very much a reality.

We cheer them,

we live through them.

Athletes are our last warriors.

My job is to make their dreams come true.

My name is Arliss Michaels,

I represent athletes,

These are my stories.

♪ Don't know what it is that makes me love you so ♪

♪ I only know I never wanna let you go ♪

♪ 'Cause you started something oh, can't you see ♪

♪ That ever since we met you had a hold on me ♪

♪ It happens to be true ♪

♪ I only wanna be with you ♪

♪ I just wanna be beside you everywhere ♪

♪ As long as we're together, honey, I don't care ♪

♪ 'Cause you started something oh, can't you see ♪

♪ That ever since we met you had a hold on me ♪

♪ No matter what you do ♪

♪ I only wanna be with you ♪

You were in the two-minute offense

when your client leaves the huddle

and says, "I need out."

I don't believe it, not Seth.

Players are a lot different than when I was coaching you Kirby.

Well, there he is. He hasn't moved for an hour.

Ooh.

What's going on, Seth?

Nothing.

Threw the ball well today.

Except for those five interceptions.

But that's okay, we'll get them next week.

There's not gonna be a next week.

What?

I can't play anymore.

I want out.

You've only played six games as a pro.

It's the pressure, Kirbs.

Hey, I know there's pressure, I've played the position.

Playing quarterback is the most pressure packed position in sports.

You don't have to yell.

Coach...

give me a couple days with him.

You know, let me work with him, maybe hang out at practice.

No way, I got a short week.

Green Bay Thursday night.

No, I just got to get him refocused.

Are you nuts? I'm gonna start De Berg.

De Berg? Ha! Hell, he's older than me.

Bill!

Look, you and I go back a long time together.

Hell, you were a pissant college assistant

when I made you look like a genius.

Give me three days.

All right.

Arliss: Client is not a four-letter word.

In fact at AMM, we wear our client list on our sleeve.

Which begs the question,

how far will one go to sign an athlete?

Well, let it be said once,

there are lines I will not cross.

Arliss: That's him, Jake Battershell.

High school senior, first team All-American.

I've been doing research on this kid.

I've done no research at all on this guy.

What could you tell me about him?

Jake Battershell

makes J.D. Drew look like Nancy Drew.

Whatever agent signs this kid

will have a gusher for 20 years.

Really?

- Heads up! - (crowd gasps)

- Umpire: Foul ball! - (crowd groans)

Man: Nice stroke, kiddo.

Coach: Let's go, Jake. Bases loaded. All we need is one run, big man.

Oh, my god!

He's an animal.

(agents dialing)

(indistinct chatter)

Okay, well, that animal is getting a lot of attention.

(men chatter indistinctly)

I think that smile was for you.

He's cute.

In a serial killer kind of way.

Yeah, he must be into older women.

Wrong, pops.

He only has eyes for me.

Jeremy Brenner.

I guess the judge suspended the sentence.

Uh-huh. You're wasting your time here, Arliss.

Jake's as good as signed.

Although I imagine in your distant youth

you might have beaten me here.

What? For this guy?

I mean, he's okay.

Player projected to be drafted first isn't merely okay, Arliss.

But then you've never had a top baseball pick in this millennium,

which is... oh, look, just about over.

Anyway...

nice to see you and your nurse again, Arliss.

Bye, now.

Did you...

He's not gonna get this guy.

How are we gonna get Jake alone?

Arliss: How far should one go to sign a client?

Well, I'm a firm non-believer in "by any means necessary".

Rita...

I need you to do me a small favor.

What?

Other agents are gonna be telling you youth is wasted on the young.

This agent's gonna tell you, let's get wasted, right?

Now let's talk signing bonus.

The way I see it...

- Arliss: I would never compromise my integrity - We'll talk later.

In order to sign a client.

Nor would I ask any of my employees to do the same.

Hi there, need a lift home?

Hi there, Arliss Michaels, great game today.

- You really got good enamel on that last one, didn't you? - Yeah.

You know, I just want to spend a few moments to say

why you should sign with AMM.

Uh, Rita, you don't mind driving the boy home, do you?

Arliss: I can't wait to meet your parents.

I bet you come from good stock.

Spices it up.

Looks yummy.

Mrs. Battershell,

any agent can negotiate a contract.

What makes AMM special is what happens after you've signed the deal.

Beer?

Uh, yeah, sure.

Wow! Afterbirth's playing tonight at The Ether.

You want to go? The promoter's a friend of mine.

I can get you and Rita backstage passes.

- Arliss! - That'd be fucking great, man.

They're balls out. You could do that?

- Sure can. Ow! - (stomps foot)

Did you hear that, Mom?

Arliss is getting me and Rita tickets to Afterbirth.

Can I take the beast tonight?

Not until you get your license back.

Well, Dad lets me drive without a license.

Your dad don't live here anymore.

Shit.

Gee, that's too bad.

I was really looking forward to going.

That's okay.

Rita can take my car to the concert.

Killer.

Ah. Well, if I take your car how are you gonna get back?

Oh, that's all right. I'll catch a cab back to the office.

I work long hours.

Do you know how much a cab will cost from here?

I said I'll take a cab.

I wouldn't dream of letting you

- spend all that money. - I said I'll take a cab!

Fuck the cab, I'll give you a lift back.

If you don't mind a little wind in your face.

No, I don't mind.

I love convertibles.

In addition to contractual work,

we can help your son set up a foundation for a charity.

Perhaps something for head injury.

Kirby: C'mon, Seth, try it again,

you got 3.5 seconds, go.

It's the split end.

No. The tight end on all goes the hot Reed.

C'mon, pay attention, focus.

I can't read the defense that fast.

Visualize. Visualize the play before it happens.

Visualize the defense.

I'm getting tired.

No, sit down!

You can't waste an opportunity like this.

Soak it in.

Treasure every moment

because there's nothing like being on a team.

There's nothing like it.

Got it?

Next play.

18 Bob, sprint ride option.

The guard pulls to make it look like a run.

Randy Johnson, Roger Clements,

uh, David Wells, do you... do you know David Wells?

Oh, you should meet him.

Now, normally this place is a beehive of activity.

But, Mrs. Battershell,

if Jake signs with AMM

he will have the entire organization

at his disposal, 24 hours every day.

That means staff...

Nice place, you got any beer?

Do I have beer?

In fact, I want to get Jake a beer endorsement.

Now, there's a rule against athletes selling alcoholic beverages.

But for Jake Battershell

I'd be willing to fight it all the way to the Supreme...

Cat got your tongue?

No.

Good, 'cause I fully expect you to use it.

Mrs. Battershell,

you should also know that servicing the client

is more than a phrase here at AMM.

We make smart, well-researched decisions.

I know you got smarts.

But I want to find out if you got...

(Jake screaming)

♪ ♪

Want some x?

No, thank you.

Do you think your mother would approve?

Not of this shit.

Who's got rufies?

Oh!

(Arliss mumbles, groans)

Another advantage of signing with AMM

is that we employ a full-time in-house investment manager.

Who will diversify your son's portfolio.

Cute.

And who, according to the client's wishes,

will continue to search for long term gro... (screams)

(Rita screams)

Oh, my god, help me! Oh, my god! Oh, my god!

Arliss: Rising above the fray,

I insist my people take the high road

rather than the low.

Another reason you may want to consider signing with AMM

is in the event that Jake wants to continue his education,

we can put in a...

(muffled speech)

I'm supposed to have lunch with Jeremy Brenner tomorrow.

What? (mumbles indistinctly) I thought that you and I...

Don't worry, you got him licked.

(muffled) Thank you, that's very sweet.

I appreciate that.

In fact...

I don't have to look any further for an agent.

Great! (muffled speech)

All you have to do now is convince Jake's father.

(mumbles) Jake's father?!

His father?

Yeah.

When it comes to Jake's future,

we make all our decisions together.

You don't mind, do you?

I don't mind.

You'll like Roy.

He's an artist.

What kind of... (screams)

(indistinct shouts) Blue, 33! Hut!

What's he doing?

Maybe he's visualizing.

Visualizing? I'm visualizing a sack.

I'm visualizing a two and 14 season.

De Berg, take the snap.

Yeah, I got to meditate first.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Let me talk to him.

You got one minute.

What are you doing, posing for a trophy?

Throw the ball.

It's the oldest play in Bills' offense.

Red runs big across.

Look left, check the wide on the street.

He's your primary, he's covered.

Slots crossing, double team, outlets running it out.

Your footwork's all wrong.

What do you got, happy feet?

C'mon, get back in there, show us what you got.

And in your car, in front of his house

Jake leans into me and sticks his tongue down my throat.

I had to push the car alarm to make him stop.

Look, I thought you'd have a nice time. I got you tickets to a concert.

Yeah, Afterbirth?

They sang their encore with their penises hanging out.

It was a nightmare.

Don't ever make me date a client again.

He's not a client yet, that's the whole idea. Make him one.

Date him so you don't have to date him again.

That's easy for you to say.

You weren't thrown around last night.

You weren't manhandled last night.

You weren't made to feel like a human pin cushion.

- You weren't groped and pinched... - Hey, hey! How do you know

What happened to me last night?

Look, you know, sometimes you just gotta take one for the team.

What?

1958, Yankee Stadium, NFL Championship Game,

Giants vs. Colts.

Score is tied in overtime.

The Colts have driven to the Giants' one yard line.

They're about to go in for the winning score

when just then the television signal goes out.

Psst. For the first time,

NBC has got America hooked on pro football

and all they're seeing is static.

But just then some guy runs out on field in a coat and tie,

the police are chasing after him,

the refs call time out.

Meanwhile, the technicians are fixing the picture.

The signal goes back on the air.

And Unitas hands the ball off to Alan Ameche,

who plunges over from the one yard line for the winning score.

The Colts win the championship.

To this day

that game has been dubbed the greatest game ever played.

Are you going somewhere with this?

Pro football never looked back.

And do you know who that guy was

who ran out on the field and was arrested? Do you know who?

An NBC executive, that's who.

You see, he sacrificed himself.

He took one in the ribs, tossed the bat away and ran to first.

He took one for the team.

I will not seduce some guy so you can get a client.

Why not?

We're agents, that's what we do!

We seduce them, we sign them, and then we fuck them!

Blue, 33 hut.

Man: Watch the running!

Yes, yes, yes!

- (horn beeps) - Whoo!

Now that's visualization.

Oh, great read! Great read.

I saw the safety cheatin' over.

I knew they were man to man.

Good job, Seth.

Steve, take some snaps.

What did I tell you, Bill? Huh?

Did I teach this man how to read?

Oh, is my man gonna light it up?

He is. This is the man

- (grunts) - who's gonna lead you to the promise land.

- Whoo! - (mumbles)

What a man! Oh, my god.

(indistinct shouts)

He's so lucky to know me.

And you too, you are very lucky to know me.

Player: Trainer!

Who's this guy Trainer?

What?

Gustavson wants you to play quarterback?

Yes!

Steve De Berg broke his hip

and he wants me to be the emergency backup

for the game tomorrow.

Kirby, you've had nine concussions.

You're one hit away from becoming a walking bell pepper.

- Who would know the difference? - You know, I probably won't even get to play.

But, who cares?

I'll make the team.

You didn't push De Berg in front of that cart, did you?

To get another chance to play?

No! Look, the game's tomorrow night.

The team only has 'till midnight tonight to sign me.

Kirby, I don't think it's a good idea.

Arliss, I've got an opportunity to suit up again on game day.

Run down that tunnel, hear those cheers.

(audience cheers in distance)

Let him go.

Let him go.

Break a leg.

Thanks, Arliss.

No, I mean it, break a leg.

I need you back here first thing Friday morning.

Arliss, you're my agent again.

Like old times, you'll negotiate my contract?

No, I can't do that.

I've got to meet Jake's old man at his studio.

Studio?

Yeah, it seems that Mr. Battershell is an artist.

What kind of artist?

I don't draw the tattoo, I draw it out of you.

It's already there.

I just have to scratch the skin, then I find it.

Understand, it's not my goal

to replace you as Jake's father.

But I'll make sure that your son lives up to your lofty standards.

I can tell just by looking at you,

you've set the bar pretty high.

I like what I'm hearing.

So why don't you go ahead and pick out what you want?

I'm... I'm sorry?

For ink, the brand, your tattoo.

My tattoo?

It would separate you from all the other suits.

It would give you warrior quality.

Yeah, yeah. That's what you want.

You see... But you see, the thing is

I haven't really decided yet whether I want to go balls-out rebel

or just, you know, mildly ironic.

You know? Maybe I better think about this.

What are you, bullshitting, Arliss?

Are you full of shit like the rest of them?

I thought you said you wanted a tat.

I do, but,

actually I said I was shopping for a tattoo.

That was the operative word you missed, "shopping."

I'm shopping for a tattoo.

Well, maybe I'm still shopping for an agent.

Relax, relax, here, bite on this.

Arliss: When faced with difficult choices,

never compromise your ethics.

Hold fast to your principals.

Let the other guy bite the bullet.

At AMM, the concept of teamwork is drilled into you.

When I preach sacrifice, I'm not merely blowing smoke.

(tattoo machine whirring)

(Arliss sighs)

It's gonna be red and ugly and hurt for a while,

but it's gonna set real nice.

Here, uh... this should help.

Aren't you supposed to give the patient the anesthetic

before the operation?

Nothing worse than being drunk for a tattoo

and regretting it later.

Here, let me put a little salve on it.

Ahh!

This, uh, balm feels good, doesn't it?

So, uh, how long were you two married?

Long time, nearly a year.

Maggie's a good girl.

She put up with a lot of my bullshit.

Well, maybe there's some wick left on the candle.

Mm, no, no.

It's more complicated than that.

Way more complicated.

I mean, look at me. I mean, who would want a guy like this?

Are you kidding?

You're in touch with your feelings.

You're the whole deal.

Good with a socket wrench, not afraid to cry,

women love that.

Hell, I'd take you back.

You're okay, you know that?

My son would be in good hands with someone like you.

Uh, despite your emotional pain,

an astute observation...

Um...

Hey, why don't you grab yourself a beer?

I'm tired of beer.

I'm... in the mood for champagne.

Champ...

How about you?

Actually, alcohol goes right through me.

Oh.

Would you excuse me? I have to go to the little boy's room.

Use the good soap.

(phone ringing)

Hello.

Rita, Rita, code red.

I'm at Jake's father's house and his old man's coming on to me.

Really?

Yeah.

You gotta help me.

Sure, what do you need?

Condoms?

I want you to call my cell in one minute.

You hear me? One minute. And say it's an emergency.

Say it's a death in the family, I don't give a shit, just call me.

Oh, but Arliss, what about Jake?

We need him as a client.

You gotta take one for the team.

Take one in the ribs.

Throw the bat away and run to first base.

Call me in one minute goddamnit!

- (dial tone) - Hmm.

One minute.

(smooth Jazz music plays)

My horoscope told me today

that a stranger would turn out to be a friend.

Is that so?

That's funny, my horoscope told me

to get to bed early tonight.

♪ ♪

Hm.

♪ ♪

This is one of my favorite songs.

Nice.

I'm not familiar with this song.

Doesn't the music move you?

Ooh.

(smooth Jazz music continues)

You're not like the other agents.

Oh, no no.

Actually, I'm a whole lot like the other agents.

No, you... you understand me.

You understand men.

Oh, look at the time!

Oh, lead a guy on.

Make him vulnerable,

and than pull the rug out from under him.

I think you got the wrong idea.

I sure did, having you as my son's agent.

I'm sorry it had to end this way.

(phone ringing)

Now she calls.

Yeah. Damn it.

(phone beeps)

Yeah?

Arliss, George here.

I hear you're about ready to sign Battershell.

We want to make a deal with him before we draft him.

So, I'll tell you what we're willing to do.

Thanks.

♪ ♪

Arliss: My staff and I go to great lengths to pursue new clients.

I'll bend over backwards to meet their every desire.

But how far backwards should I bend?

Ah, that's the rump.

How far is far enough?

No.

Bye.

Arliss: There is nothing like being part of a team.

Remember...

a team is a dream your heart makes.

This game will be won by the team that makes the fewest mistakes.

One mistake, just one,

can cost this team the whole game.

Now I want you to get out there,

and show me just how badly you want it.

Because the team that wants it the most

will be the team that wins.

Now you go give me 60 minutes of 110 percent, all right?

Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go!

(players cheering)

Let's go, let's go!

(indistinct shouts)

- Yes! Yes! - Yeah!

Are you ready? Are you ready? Are you ready?

Let's go!

(mumbles)

Oh.

(audience cheers)

Ah... ahh!

Ow!

Oh, does that hurt?

Yes, it's very sensitive.

Ow!

Arliss: Hey, Elway,

how you feeling?

Oh. Black, two sugars, good, fine.

Sunday.

Reporter: Last week high school star Jake Battershell

was rewarded by the Yankees with a record $15 million contract.

The Yankees have traded...

Arliss: How far will I go to sign a client?

I feel it's important to set boundaries.

For those who are willing to have their boundaries violated,

their inner sanctum penetrated,

risks forever having their integrity denigrated.

My reputation speaks for itself.

Ow!

My name is Arliss Michaels.

I represent athletes.

These are my stories.

Arliss: Ow!

♪ ♪