Original subtitles

(indistinct chatter)

Kurt, Kurt, I know you had a lot of trouble with Dennis,

but I think you should give him a second chance.

I mean... he's a different guy.

He went through a lot...

The break up of a long-term marriage.

I mean, who amongst us hasn't lost their shoes and socks?

If he comes back, he wants no special treatment.

He's a changed man. He'll do whatever you say.

There's one thing.

He wants to wear pumps.

Ow.

(dramatic music plays)

Arliss: For most of us,

the dream of becoming a champion,

remains a fantasy.

But for a special few,

it is very much a reality.

We cheer them.

We live through them.

Athletes are our last warriors.

My job is to make their dreams come true.

(water splashes)

My name is Arliss Michaels.

I represent athletes.

These are my stories.

♪ Don't know what it is that makes me love you so ♪

♪ I only know I never wanna let you go ♪

♪ 'Cause you started something oh, can't you see ♪

♪ That ever since we met you had a hold on me ♪

♪ It happens to be true ♪

♪ I only wanna be with you ♪

♪ I just wanna be beside you everywhere ♪

♪ As long as we're together, honey, I don't care ♪

♪ 'Cause you started something, oh, can't you see ♪

♪ That ever since we met you had a hold on me ♪

♪ No matter what you do ♪

♪ I only wanna be with you ♪

♪ ♪

Man: Who's got tickets?

I need good seats.

Arliss: Most people throw away money on frivolities

for their own ego's sake.

Not I.

I believe in good ground-level investments.

Diane, what three words you never have to say

when you sit here?

- Together: Down in front! - (laughs)

Six years I waited for these seats.

Six long years.

Well, welcome to the club, Arliss.

But you should know.

These seats are going up to 1200 bucks a game

when the Lakers move to the Staple Center next year.

That's 52,000 per seat.

That's 104,000 for two.

A small price to pay for membership.

(narrates) And people are investments too.

I love this game.

I do too.

Rad, my main quarterback.

Arliss is my extension closed yet?

Rad, the Raiders are open to extending your contract.

I'm thinking five years, 30 million.

Ooh, that's major bank.

That's my major quarterback.

Arliss: And I make sure I reinvest

in my most valuable commodity,

the AMM family.

Can't do it. Company policy.

Arliss, please.

If AMM can give me the loan, I'll save $50 thousand

in interest payments on the house.

Sal, if it was up to me, I'd give you the money in a nanosecond,

but it's against company policy to hand out personal loans.

Arliss, as your pilot, you put your life in my hands every time we go up.

Now, if you can't trust me, who can you trust?

That's not fair. I mean, who was there for you

when you were suffering from Gulf War syndrome?

Look, if you don't help us out,

Debbie and I can't afford our dream house.

Well, can't you dream a little smaller?

It's arrived.

Ahh!

(classical score plays)

It's stunning.

I mean, notice the vivid use of color.

The depth and perspective.

That's it.

Announcer: The Ball-Blaster...

(music plays)

- (laughter) - Announcer 2: sneak preview...

So how'd it go last night?

I believe LA lost.

I left in the third quarter.

Traffic.

(TV switches channels)

I smell bourbon fumes.

(sniffing)

- (coughs) - (sad trombone music plays)

Ugh.

(sniffs) Ew.

What happened to you?

Oh. Rough night.

Two girls, a guy.

I vomited a pizza.

Eww.

(chuckles) Wow, it came.

Arliss: Sure did.

Sweet, isn't it?

(crowd cheers)

Cameron Voorhees,

a young man who can do it all on the court.

And off the court as well.

Okay, okay. Cameron Voorhees,

first ballot Hall-of-Famer, true or false?

- Uh, absolutely. - (organ music plays)

- Which one is Cameron? - (TV audience applauds)

Rita: He's a great player.

He's the guy LA needs to put them over the top.

Host: Welcome Cameron and his spiritual advisor,

Tony Fullerton.

Now, first of all, Tony...

just what does a spiritual advisor do?

Well, mostly keeping Cameron here

focused on what's important.

Which is God, my family, and my team.

Oh, boy, here we go.

And since I'm only playing one more year, two tops,

soon it'll just be God and my family.

(TV audience applauds)

So then, Tony, you take care of all of Cameron's personal

and professional needs?

Yes, along with the help of the Good Lord

who's always available.

He takes no commission.

(TV audience laughs)

Give me a break.

When athletes call at 2:00 a.m.,

they're asking for bail, not religion.

If more sports figures were like Cameron Voorhees,

the world would be a better place.

Praise the Lord.

- Praise the remote. - (phone ringing)

You know, you could use a whole tin of Altoids.

- (exhales) - Eww, gross.

(sniffs) Oh!

Arliss Michaels' office.

One moment, please.

(phone beeps)

It's Chanda Henderson from the Staples Center.

She wants to know when you want to take a look

at your new seat location.

(whooshes)

(phone beeps)

He should be walking into your office right about now.

Chanda: Here's the beautiful new Staples Center.

Arliss: Wow.

So considering my location at the Forum,

my new seats at Staples should be just about here.

Chanda: That's true. Your seats should be there.

- Great! - But unfortunately they won't be.

- Excuse me? - Because of league mandates,

We'll have two less courtside seats

at Staples than we have at the Forum.

But we can put you here.

(dramatic music plays)

Second row!

Second row is not an option.

I see.

Well...

courtside seating is available for the Clippers.

(hoarsely) The Clippers!

Arliss, I wish I could help,

but we've got to go by seniority here.

Now, everyone who's sitting courtside

at the Forum is renewing, and there's nobody we can bump.

Why not? There's got to be somebody who's not worthy.

I don't want to mention any names,

but did you see "The Postman"?

You're on the waiting list.

As soon as something opens up, my office will call you.

You know, I just remembered.

I've got this villa rented in Tuscany for July,

but I might not be able to use it.

Thanks, but July is booked.

Jack got me Roman's place on the Riviera.

Oh, c'mon!

Wait. Everybody knows you keep a couple

of extra courtside seats.

What do I got to do to get on the floor?

Can you play point guard?

I'm sorry, Arliss, I wish I could help.

I've got to get those seats.

You spend more on those tickets then you do on my salary.

Those seats are a credit to our firm.

Credits give you credibility.

Those seats say,

"I'm somebody.

"Somebody with whom you should sign with,

so you can sit there and be somebody."

There are more important things in life

than hanging out with celebrities.

In Los Angeles?

(phone ringing)

(blows)

Arliss Michaels' office.

One moment please.

(phone beeps)

It's a celebrity.

Ooh.

(Dyan laughing)

You want me to split my season tickets

with you next year?

Fine, if you won't go for that, I'll buy both of them.

Not for a million dollars.

You know, I got a friend who works on "Moesha."

Maybe he can get you a part in a TV series.

Arliss, I'm on two series.

- No, you're not. - Yes, I am.

Really?

Yeah, really.

C'mon, the second half is starting.

I want to see if LA can come back.

There's no way they can come back.

(whispers) Once we get Cameron Voorhees we will.

- ♪ ♪ - What are you talking about?

Alright, now this is just between you and me, okay?

- Sure. - Now, listen, Jerry Buss tells me

That LA is just about to pull the trigger

for a trade for Cameron Voorhees within the next 48 hours.

C'mon, let's go. You coming?

(stammers) No, I'm going to...

I'm gonna beat the traffic home.

That's a real fan.

(organ music plays)

Arliss: Whenever I hear of a team in need,

I rush into help with both hands.

I find that experience feeds a spiritual hunger.

- There's more, don't be shy. - Man: Okay.

There you go.

Mangia, mangia.

Woman: Yeah. God bless you.

And back at you.

Cameron Voorhees?

What a surprise.

How's the Picasso of point guards?

Arliss Michaels.

The agent?

Well, that's my day job,

but it's not my life's calling.

I got to admit this isn't the Arliss Michaels

I've heard so much about.

Well, that was the old Arliss

before I let the big guy into my heart.

How about letting some of that roast beef into my stomach?

Give me another one.

This isn't Arby's, pal. Go home.

You see, I figure if I take five percent of my clients' salaries,

the very least I could do is donate five percent of my time.

I'm trying to get my staff to do the same.

That's a very noble idea.

Unfortunately, not all of them share

the strong religious foundation that I have.

(organ music plays)

Arliss, there's a reason our paths crossed today.

I can help you.

You can?

I... we...

We, the vow keepers.

It's our mission to spread His word.

I can help you enlighten your people.

Actually, there's one in particular.

He's a very old, very dear friend.

A man who's been wandering through the desert alone

for the greater part of his life.

Tony: And where there is responsibility...

there must be accountability.

- Man: That's right. - Men: Amen.

Take football for instance.

The quarterback is in charge in the huddle.

- Man: Yes, he is. - Man 2: Preach, Tony!

(whispers) I don't need to be fucking saved.

(whispers) Sure you do.

We all do, just play along.

And watch your fucking language.

The quarterback may be a general on the field,

but he does not call the plays.

Men: Amen.

The Man upstairs calls the plays.

The quarterback must answer to the man upstairs.

- (cell phone rings) - The quarterback is responsible

For the action on the field.

Excuse me, please.

The coach in the box calls the plays.

Yeah.

The quarterback must answer

- to the man up there. - Man: Amen!

(ringing continues)

The quarterback is responsible...

Arliss Michaels.

Arliss, is my extension closed yet?

Rad. Oh, no, not yet.

But I'm expecting a call from the Raider's tomorrow,

so consider it done.

(on phone) You're gonna be a $30 million quarterback.

Good, 'cause I just bought me a brand new double-aught Expedition.

- Great, great. That's great. - And the sound system...

Oh, man. Check this out.

(loud music playing)

Whoo! Yeah! Arliss!

Rad. Rad!

Whoo! Arliss!

Very impressive.

Look, I'll call you after we close tomorrow.

- Bye. - (beeps)

Tony: for the action on the field,

but if he messes up...

he must answer to the man upstairs.

- Man: Amen! Amen, brother! - (men cheer)

Am I getting through to everyone?

Uhh... no, I'm not.

I am absolutely not,

because... there is a stranger among us.

- Man: Who is it? - (men murmur)

Someone who has lost his way.

- Man: Oh yeah! - (men murmur)

This person must cross the bridge.

- Men: Cross the bridge. - Tony: He needs to put

One foot in front of the other...

Men: Amen!

And cross the bridge

that leads to a land of salvation!

And it all starts with one step,

and the first step is always the hardest!

(shouting fades)

(angelic choir singing)

(singing continues)

Shit! This goddamn file.

Hey.

Don't blame the big guy.

Bran muffin?

Is that a Bible?

Number one on the all time best-seller list.

First time I ever touched one.

Yeah, except in a court of law.

Hoo-ha! I got the Raiders up to five years, 30 million.

I think they're about to drop the hammer for Rad!

- Three percent commission, that's... - Nine hundred thou!

Goddammit, do I love pro quarterbacks.

Arliss, let us not forget

that avarice is one of the seven deadly sins.

(angelic choir singing)

What the hell is up with you?

Oh, Arliss, hell isn't up.

(phone rings)

- It's down, and it is forever. - Rita: Arliss Michaels' office.

Cameron Voorhees.

Ah!

Kirby, you can drop the act, we got our point guard across.

Blue 30 million! Blue 30 million!

I was thinking about you on the way in today, Rita.

I was reading about that whore with the long dark hair

like yours, Mary Magdalene.

- What? - Here, let's read the scriptures together.

"And behold a woman of the city who was a sinner..."

Hey, Ned Flanders, out of my face.

Cameron, how are you? Listen...

on behalf of not only myself, but everyone here at AMM

I want to thank you for helping Kirby see the light.

Get away from me. Who are you?

What have you done with Kirby Carlisle?

- I'm not listening! - "Babylon the Great, Mother of Harlots,

"and of Earth's Abominations. And I saw the woman

drunk with the wine of blood of martyrs."

No, no, no, no, no. I insist on paying for it.

You don't understand, Cam. I want to be your age...

Uh, can I call you back?

Sure, bye.

Tony Fullerton.

As I live and breathe.

I'm sorry, we didn't officially meet.

We haven't.

You slipped out the other night

before I had a chance to say hello.

Great. I'm sorry, something came up.

Family business.

My brother on my father's side.

Can I get you something to drink?

No, thank you.

Forgive me for being curious,

but I was very surprised

to see you there that night.

Oh. Well, a friend of mine has lost his way,

and I was... I was trying to point him in the right direction.

"Woe to the shepherds who destroy

and scatter the sheep of my pastures."

Jeremiah 23, verse one.

Yeah, I thought that was Jeremiah.

Jeremiah was writing about false prophets.

Are you a false prophet, Arliss?

Oh, Tony, I am not gonna go toe to toe with you on scripture.

That's a battle I'll lose. Pfft!

You weren't trying to send me a lost sheep, Arliss.

You were trying to cull one from my flock.

Cameron Voorhees.

Me?

Ooh, the Lord sees all.

But why this sheep?

Cameron is at the twilight of his career.

Oh. Well, we share a commitment to spreading the good Lord's word.

That's my number one priority.

For which you take a tithe of 10 percent.

Tithes are as old as the Bible, Arliss.

Even in God's business, there's overhead.

I understand that.

So...

AMM would be willing to make a contribution

to help you meet your overhead.

Or...

you can simply let this shepherd

have one sheep from your flock.

My flock?

Why can't I enrich the soul of one of your clients?

Let me make sure I'm seeing the light correctly.

You'll allow me to shepherd Cameron Voorhees

if I point one of my sheep your way.

Amen.

I hear what you're saying,

and I have just the sheep.

- You do? - Mm-hmm.

A Kenyan long distance runner.

He's having trouble staying afloat in the sea of iniquity.

No, no, no, that's... that's not the sheep I had in mind, Arliss.

It isn't?

No, I was thinking of a particular one

with just... a little more meat on the bone.

And...

who might that be?

(narrates) Protecting your asset is as important as investing it.

You must not let it go.

Hey, Rad, slight change of plans.

Do you mind if we go up and catch a Sacramento game

and then bop over to Oakland to hammer out your deal?

- Whoo! Sounds great, buddy. - (laughs)

You got some horny stewardi on your plane, Arliss?

- Oh, no, no, sorry. - Come on, what are you talking about, buddy?

- Hey! Wait up! - (angelic choir singing)

Rad, I found it.

It's not Mark, it's Matthew.

(whispers) I am not sitting next to him.

Here. "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow,

for tomorrow..."

Everything is in order, sir.

- Great. - I just need you to sign right here.

♪ ♪

Okay. And right down here.

One more, one more.

Don't go anywhere. Right here.

Just about done. Here we go.

One more. Right here.

That's perfect, sir. Thank you.

♪ ♪

(engines humming)

Tony here is on his way to a speaking engagement.

I thought I'd give him a lift.

Very charitable of you, Arliss.

When I found out you were

hitching a ride, I just had to be here.

Too bad it's only a one hour flight.

I know.

Darn.

Sal on intercom: Roger, Los Angeles Center.

November 23, Alpha-Mike, climb and maintain flight level 350.

In the Book of Revelations,

it talks about the seven bowls filled with the wrath of God.

And the first bowl is just loaded with plague.

To me that screams out, "Y2K virus."

Sal on intercom: Folks, we got a little bit of turbulence ahead.

Please make sure that your seat belts are fastened.

I better tinkle real quick.

(rumbling)

What the hell is going on? What the hell is going on?

Sal on intercom: Mayday, mayday.

November 23, Alpha-Mike, we've lost control.

We are in a dive. Descending...

Holy shit!

Everyone stay calm.

Stay calm? We're all gonna die! We're all gonna die!

(both screaming)

Is this a test, God? Huh? Some kind of joke.

Get your dental records! Get your dental records!

Oh, God!

Now you're on the right track, son.

This is it. Listen! It's over! It's over!

We're hamburger in body bags!

(both scream)

Don't! Don't give up hope.

- (screaming continues) - Pray with me.

The good Lord'll see us through.

We don't need prayer! We need parachutes!

(screaming)

Don't listen to him. Pray with me, Rad.

- Pray with me. - I wouldn't even be on this plane

If it wasn't for you, God.

Oh, there's so much I haven't done...

Raised a family,

seen the Grand Canyon,

had a mother-daughter ménage.

Dear Lord, save this fine young man's life.

- (screams) - He has so much life ahead of him.

So much life to give to you and your good word.

Put me to work! God, I'm all yours!

I'm all yours.

Is this what happens when you take God into your heart?

Yeah, well you can kiss my ass.

Dear Lord, save this craft and all the souls aboard.

Now, quick, make peace with your maker!

Make peace with your maker! Now!

Now, now, now, now!

(both screaming)

Repeat after me.

Say it with me.

Join in with me.

- Please, Lord, hear our prayer. - Rad: prayer.

Trio: Please, Lord, hear our prayer!

Please, Lord, hear our prayer!

Please, L... Lord.

We're leveling.

My God. You did it.

(angelic choir singing)

It's a miracle.

No, Rad, we did it.

Together.

With God's help.

Nice flying, Captain Sal.

Sal on intercom: Thank you, Mr. Michaels.

(vomiting)

♪ ♪

I don't want to leave you, Arliss,

but I need to be with someone who has the same values in life that I do.

I understand.

It hurts like hel...

It hurts to lose you, but...

you got a good man in Fullerton.

I wish you the best.

God bless you.

You too.

Your work with me is finished.

It's time you moved on and spread the word to others.

Do you think I'm ready?

You are...

if you put your trust into someone who cares.

But who has the same values that you and I do?

♪ ♪

You traded clients?

Sort of.

He gave you Cameron Voorhees for Rad Clayburn.

And a sinner to be named later.

You gave up $900 thousand in commission for a guy

who's gonna retire in two years.

Why?

(phone rings)

Arliss Michaels' office.

One moment please.

(phone beeps, clatters)

Jerry Buss.

That's right.

I do represent Cameron Voorhees now.

Well, I should probably tell you then

we've just completed a trade for Cameron.

Oh, Jerry, I wish you would've run it by me first.

Cameron Voorhees doesn't want to play in LA.

What? Since when?

It's a Sodom and Gomorrah type thing.

I mean, Cameron is just opposed

to the hedonistic LA lifestyle.

He'll retire rather than report.

Arliss, we need Cameron.

Is there any way you can convince him?

Well...

there might be one way.

(narrating) In summation, always retain good hardworking people...

So what made Arliss sign the loan papers?

Well, let's just say...

it was a miracle.

(Arliss narrates) invest in practical hardware

that increases productivity...

TV announcer: Underneath the Shaq for the slam dunk!

Whoa! Another great pass from Cameron Voorhees,

the point guard. What a tremendous game!

Hey, numb nuts, I can't see!

(announcer speaks indistinctly)

Eat me.

Welcome home.

(Arliss narrates) and most important, maintain selfless leadership

at the top and your vision will be realized.

Announcer: Welcome to the new home of your Los Angeles Lakers,

the Staple Center Arena!

This game is in the refrigerator.

The door is closed, the light is out.

The eggs are cool, the butter is getting hard,

and the Jell-O is jiggling.

Arliss: My name is Arliss Michaels.

I represent athletes.

These are my stories.

Man: Hey! Down in front!

♪ Movie mogul in a limousine ♪

♪ Used to find his dinner in a dumpster ♪

♪ Now he's a Hollywood dream ♪

♪ Passes up a bum living on the street ♪

♪ Who used to be his boss, he says, "Hey, remember me?" ♪

♪ Girl of 18 gets off a bus in Hollywood ♪

♪ She's here to be a star, at home she was misunderstood ♪

♪ She'll do anything to prove her parents wrong ♪

♪ She'll be the queen of Tinseltown ♪

♪ The city sparkles with the promise ♪

♪ Of the rainbow's pot of gold ♪

♪ Everything that ♪

♪ You've been dreaming of ♪

♪ Is here for you to hold ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ It's all in LA ♪

♪ Hollywood Boulevard ♪

♪ The Walk of Fame ♪

♪ Malibu, movie stars ♪

♪ A life unchained ♪

♪ Sunshine, expensive cars ♪

♪ Your heart's aflame ♪

♪ Doesn't matter who you are ♪

♪ Every dream's the same ♪

♪ The city sparkles with the promise of... ♪