Original subtitles

♪ ♪

Arliss (narrating): For most of us,

the dream of becoming a champion,

remains a fantasy,

but for a special few,

it is very much a reality.

We cheer them,

we live through them.

Athletes are our last warriors.

My job is to make their dreams come true.

(water splashes)

My name is Arliss Michaels,

I represent athletes,

these are my stories.

♪ Don't know what it is that makes me love you so ♪

♪ I only know I never wanna let you go ♪

♪ 'Cause you started something oh, can't you see ♪

♪ That ever since we met you had a hold on me ♪

♪ It happens to be true ♪

♪ I only wanna be with you ♪

♪ I just wanna be beside you everywhere ♪

♪ As long as we're together, honey, I don't care ♪

♪ 'Cause you started something oh, can't you see ♪

♪ That ever since we met you had a hold on me ♪

♪ No matter what you do ♪

♪ I only wanna be with you ♪

Arliss (narrating): Young athletes require special handling

even more important than safeguarding their careers,

is protecting their childhoods.

Arliss: That's it, take a big spoonful.

Mmm, that's good, isn't it?

Take another spoonful, that's tasty.

Oh, yeah, that's good. Take another spoonful. Oh, that's tasty!

Arliss (narrating): When young Crystal Dupree,

Olympic gold medalist figure skater,

signed with AMM, I promised to help manage her time.

This looks delicious. Take another spoonful.

Time for friends, time for play.

- I now pronounce this the future home of Auto Nation. - (applause)

Time to kick back and just be a kid.

Thank you. Thank you.

Pick up the goat. Pick up the goat, Crystal.

Pick it up, don't worry, he won't do that again.

Don't worry! Just smile now.

Smile! Aw, look how cute that goat is.

Arliss (narrating): Remember, childhood is precious and irretrievable.

The cutest thing you've ever seen.

Oh, it's so cute.

Arliss (narrating): It's just as important

to work closely with a child's family.

Parents need guidance with newfound fame and wealth

as much as the child.

Luckily, in Crystal's case,

she was blessed with a loving father,

and a caring mother.

A discriminating collector, I might add.

Yeah. Hello?

(clears throat) I would like to make an order please.

One question...

does the temple come with the Tibetan Barbie?

Arliss (narrating): However, when fame and fortune come at an early age,

it's imperative not to spoil the child.

Just $20, please.

We're all chipping in to get a present for the Coach Galindo at the Nationals.

Baby, I said no.

We were hoping to buy him a Palm Pilot Professional, Mr. Dupree.

Yeah, they're really really powerful.

Really really really no.

Crystal: It's only $20.

Mom!

Daddy knows best, sweetheart.

Now, sugar, run on upstairs and get dressed.

I am dressed. I'm going to the mall with C.J. and Britney, bye.

Excuse me.

I'm sorry, but we're committed to a meet and greet

at Smith Barney this afternoon.

I don't want to do another meet and greet.

I want to go to the mall.

It'll just take an hour.

Because after that we're with Microsoft.

- But... - You opened the damn mall sweetheart,

You've been there, done that.

For $50,000.

Which reminds me...

It's different opening a mall and just being at a mall with your friends.

Now, darling, you don't want to disappoint Barney Smith, do you?

Besides, we do have to make another payment on granddaddy's new Winnebago.

- Guys... - See you tomorrow at practice, Crystal.

Arliss (narrating): I tell all my people, prepare for the future,

live in the present.

But don't dwell on the past.

You can't sell it, Zeke.

You can't sell the car wash.

I mean, where else can you get Kirby Carlisle memorabilia?

Kirby, we're losing $5,000 a month.

The place just needs a facelift.

The equipment's fucked and so am I.

I'm paying alimony up the ying-yang,

I'm supporting women I don't even recognize.

We got to cut our losses.

Well, can't we just get a loan from a bank?

Who's gonna give us a loan in this neighborhood?

It's on the corner of "Stab me and run."

Well, the land's gotta be worth something.

Sure, the projects can always use another crack house.

Look, we got to find a way to preserve this treasure.

We can turn it around.

We turn it around, it's still facing the same fucking way,

down the toilet!

Zeke! Zeke, c'mon!

I'm gonna talk to Arliss!

Oh! I bet you he'll say...

Not a chance in hell.

Arliss, $15,000.

- That'll get the car wash through the next few months. - No, no, no.

Arliss, AMM is invested in the Kirby Carlisle Car Wash.

I mean, you helped set it up.

20 years ago, we had a pretty good run.

20 years, we did okay on that.

Rita, look, let me know the minute Billie Jean King gets here...

We were innovators.

We were the first in the country to use hot wax.

Hot wax, my ass, there's no such thing as hot wax.

It's a fucking yellow bulb that flashes

and let's you charge extra.

There's...

Listen, let me know the minute Billie Jean King...

This is all that's left of my legacy.

The Kirby Carlisle legend.

I mean, once this place is gone, my celebrity status is poof.

Kirby, sit down.

There comes a time in every athletes' career

when he has to hang up the car wash...

Or the pizza parlor, or the tavern, whatever it is.

Arliss, I know there are two,

three good years left in this car wash.

It's a tough, tough reality to face.

I understand that.

But I always want you to know

- that I will always always be there... - Stanley: Yes, yes.

Stanley!

When are the National Figure Skating Championships?

Nationals are in two months.

Two months.

You know, last night I had a brainstorm.

You might call it an epiphany.

Epiphany, huh?

I'm all ears.

Crystal should not compete in the Nationals.

Why the hell not?

Why the hell yes?

What does she got to gain?

At best she wins,

which makes her not one iota more valuable to us.

At worst she loses, in which case she's less valuable.

It's a risk we don't need.

(scoffs) "We don't need."

Yeah, takes two weeks out of her schedule in March.

I can book her solid for those two weeks.

Fuck the Nationals.

Arliss, Crystal Dupree is a skater.

She skates.

I'll tell you what she is.

Crystal Dupree is AMM's highest paid female athlete

at the moment,

and that moment can change at any moment.

Do you know how many 11-year-olds are hot on her heels?

There is something wrong with this picture.

We represent a skater

and you're telling her not to skate.

That's right, sell the sizzle, not the steak.

Why, so her parents can piss it away for her?

- Whoa, whoa... - He can't give her a lousy $20.

She pulled in $30,000 yesterday afternoon!

Stanley, what these people do with their money

is their business.

Our business is to maximize her earning potential.

But it is her money

and they're not saving a penny of it for her.

That's not our business.

Arliss, your epiphany...

Sucks.

Billie Jean!

Rita, I don't care if you smoke.

I don't smoke.

I only smoke when I'm getting ready to go to bed

with a legally married, officially separated man.

Oh, please. I don't want to hear...

No, he's different.

I met him four years ago at Club Med at Playa Blanca.

But he was married then, so we only danced and snorkeled.

But we really danced and we really snorkeled

cause he was married, but now, yeah, he's still married,

but unmarrying himself.

Listen Rita, I don't like this guy.

I mean, he's really working you, babe.

He's different.

Oh, please! "Ex-squeeze" me.

He's not different.

How about that golfer from Spain?

The polo player in South Africa.

How about that chick in Grenoble?

She was beautiful.

I mean, don't you see a pattern here?

I know.

This is for you.

My own credit card with my name?

Remember, it'll be our little secret.

The bills will come to AMM,

and I'll pay them out of your account.

Oh, my God, I can't believe...

This is so awesome!

I'll trust you to act responsibly.

I will, I will.

It's really mine?

You earned it.

Thank you so much, Stanley.

(gunshot)

You'd have to be Helen Keller to miss with this bastard.

It's a nine millimeter glock with a laser sight.

Got it downtown Rome, Italy.

Also got me these Italian boots.

And a genuine Fellini cowboy hat.

That's pretty, ain't it?

As I was saying,

Crystal doesn't really have to go to the Nationals.

I mean, we're looking at a potential revenue loss

of $100,000.

(gunshot)

A $100,000?

You know Arliss, six years ago (snorts)

I couldn't even have conceived of such a figure.

Isn't that ironical?

The question is, how is Crystal gonna take this?

I mean, you don't think she's gonna be upset, do you?

Nah, she won't mind.

(gunshot)

I'm going to the Nationals!

You're not going anywhere in that tone of voice, little lady.

Crystal, your father just thought it would be for the best.

I don't care what you think, I'm going!

You know, Crystal, this may be a great time

to take a little break.

You know, save that quad for Salt Lake City.

You're gonna do what you're told, when you're told to.

I'm sick of you telling me what I can and can't do!

(gasping)

What is this?

That's mine.

How'd you come to get a credit card in your name?

I want an answer.

You dick head.

Sweetheart!

Maynard, she's got her heart set on the Nationals.

I'm not gonna have any little girl of mine

calling me a dick head.

It's just a phrase, it's just a body part.

Well I'm not gonna have it.

When I find the cocksucker who co-signed this son-of-a-bitch,

I'm gonna numchuck his balls.

Perhaps I can help, may I have that card?

Uh-huh. 5-3-2-9, expiration date.

Expiration date, February 2000.

I've got Rita on this.

She'll get the information for you in no time.

Now Rita, this is top priority.

I want the skinny on this before you leave tonight.

Yeah, okay, by the way, just curious.

No particular reason,

are you coming back to the office tonight?

Tonight? No, I'll see you tomorrow, bye.

(phone beeping)

Woman: First Monument Bank Center.

Your call is important to us,

(on speakerphone): please stay on the line.

(doorbell rings)

(yawning)

Crystal.

What are you doing here?

Your call is important to us.

Please stay on the line...

Hi, Steve, it's me.

I was thinking,

the studio's gonna be really packed tonight.

And we really need more room to practice.

There's a space that just became available with plenty of room.

No, not my place, you'll like it.

I'll fax you the directions.

Ciao.

Oh!

What am I doing?

Your call is important to us.

Please stay on the line

and the first available operator will assist you.

I trained for the Nationals and I deserve to go.

Crystal, do your... (clears throat) parents

know where you are?

They don't even know I've left.

They're glued to the Shopping Channel

spending my college money.

Oh. They're gonna be worried.

They can't keep me from going the the Nationals, can they?

You know, you do have rights.

I do? What kind of rights?

Let's find out.

(phone beeps)

Hello.

The number for the department of Social Services please.

- (tango music plays) - First Monument Bank Center.

Your call is important to us.

Please stay on the line for the first available operator.

This was always my fantasy, Steve.

To dance with you.

But you were married.

You were taken.

Oh, Rita, I've always had my eye on you.

But I was married, I was taken.

Now...

I'm not.

Tell me again, where are we?

In Argentina.

On La Plato Pompos under a vast starry sky.

Yes.

How could I forget?

Where long ago the wind

and music of the plains

passed through the shuddering loins of the gauchos

to give birth...

to the tango.

A contract between two souls to dance.

(moans)

I love it when you talk...

gaucho.

Gauchos...

brilliant horsemen,

who mounted their steeds in the night.

And rode full gallop...

(snapping fingers)

until the dawn.

(snapping fingers)

Are you sure your divorce came through?

Yes.

And then onwards towards noon, towards dusk,

and then deep deep into the night.

(doorbell rings)

Mr. Dupree: Crystal.

Arliss (narrating): Resolution in family conflict,

that's what we provide at AMM.

- Emotional triage, - Crystal, answer the damn door!

The kind of people skills honed from years of experience.

June, where the hell is that girl?

I don't know.

The damn cable's out again.

Mr. Dupree? I'm Susan Caldwell from the DSS.

I'm here to inform you that your daughter

is in custody of Social Services.

And we're appointing her a guardian ad lidem.

Crystal!

Guardian ad lidem? You?

That's right, Crystal requested me.

The court has to appoint someone

to represent her legal and financial interests

and we are responsible parties.

We are not responsible, we are agents!

Shit, do you know what you've done?

If it gets out that we helped Crystal run away from home,

we will never be able to sign another child athlete again.

What parent is gonna trust us

not to steal their kid away from them?

Before we get lawyers involved...

Lawyers, no lawyers, no lawyers!

I'm simply saying that we can avoid lawyers

if we get together in one room and work this out.

Oh, you bet your ass you're gonna work this thing out.

Get on it now!

Me? Why me?

Because I'm appointing you guardian ad lidem to this goddamn mess.

Oh shit.

- Arliss. - Maynard!

They are emancipating my little girl.

- They're taking her away from me. - Who is?

I don't know! Some Social Service bitch come around here this morning

mouthing about emancipation.

Wasn't that for the slaves?

Look, this is the first I've heard, I just got in.

Well, I'll tell you one damn thing, somebody's behind this.

And when I find out who it is, I'm gonna glock his ass.

Well, perhaps I...

Stanley, why don't go grab a cup of "Shut the fuck up."

And Maynard, why don't you come in the office with me?

(tango music playing on walkman)

Woman: Your call is important to us.

Maynard, I don't know how this whole thing happened, but you can rest assured...

Man (on phone): Sorry to keep you on hold.

I have the credit card information that you requested.

Yes, yes, yes, hello, hello!

Yes, that card for Crystal Dupree was issued by AMM.

- Arliss Michaels... - (beeping)

You.

No, no. It's not what you think.

Stanley Babson. Stanley Babson's behind all this.

This was your plan all along.

To steal my little girl away from me.

No, it's Babson. He's in the next office.

You got that credit card.

You hired that Social Service bitch.

I'm gonna stomp a mud hole in your ass and walk it dry.

Hello, Maynard. Oh!

(tango music plays)

Look out, look out, look out, look out!

(grunts)

Go, go, go! (screams)

Get out here and take your ass whipping like a man!

(exclaims)

Arliss (narrating): Having a close rapport with the young client's family

- is important. - (car alarm beeping)

I try to spend as much time with parents as I can.

(tires screeching)

Check it out.

(laughing)

Kirby: Hey, hey, hey.

Nice topography, what do you say?

This is the great investment?

Sir Charles, this place is a gold mine

and we're giving you first crack at it.

You mean you can buy crack here if you want to?

We're getting $30 a wash, topless.

Not including the hot wax.

(both laugh)

Hot wax, my ass, there's no hot wax!

Just a fucking yellow bulb flashing,

so you can charge extra.

Well, there's all sorts of other perks.

- Free visor. - (scoffs)

I'll show you some other stuff, c'mon.

Kirby! Kirby!

(engine revs)

Arliss: Oh shit! Maynard!

(tires screech)

Lightbulb, too. It's all...

(chattering indistinctly)

Oh God.

That's a very small...

Oh God.

(machinery whirs)

No, no, no don't shoot!

(screams)

(bubbling)

(Arliss screaming)

(Arliss gargling)

(grunts)

(whimpers)

(air blowing)

(grunting)

(klaxon blares)

- (bell dings) - No!

(Arliss screams)

Arliss (narrating): More than once

I've brought parents and children together at times of crisis.

My ability to relate to both generations

facilitates mediation

when there is a breakdown in communication.

I believe everyone here wants these issues resolved

as expediently as possible.

We consider these terms to be more than fair

and in the best interest of the child.

And so in that spirit...

Crystal's willing to offer her parents a monthly allowance

of five percent of her of income.

To cover expenses.

Five percent?

Provided she is granted complete control

of her finances and her schedule.

Huh!

Mr. Michaels, did you say something?

(mumbling)

I want Stanley to manage all of my finances

until I come of legal age.

That's some bullshit.

- (snorts) - Shut your talky mouth, Maynard!

You know, Crystal, you can issue a lawsuit for punitive damages.

No lawsuits, no lawsuits.

I've got an awesome lawyer.

He's really really really really smart.

So smart, I'll call him!

No lawyer, no lawyer.

If we can't come to some agreement here today,

Crystal, you may need to get a lawyer.

No lawyers!

Crystal's demands are fine.

We agree.

(thwack)

Right, sweetheart?

Yeah.

Now where do we sign?

We'd like this meeting to end.

So we can take our little girl home.

(moans)

Crystal.

I believe you had one more thing you wanted to add.

In two months

I'm gonna be the first female skater

to land a quad in the Nationals.

And then I'm going to retire.

Retire?!

To spend for more time with my friends...

and my family.

For a period of one year.

(growling)

At which time Crystal will re-evaluate

her professional goals.

In the meantime, ladies and gentlemen,

I believe we have some ice cream in the next room.

So why don't we call this meeting adjourned?

Arliss (narrating): I don't like to pat myself on the back,

but bringing families closer together

puts a smile on my face.

(yelps)

The rewards of guiding the young are many.

Adulation from young clients is particularly flattering.

Hey, Arliss,

can I ask you, like a personal question?

Is it true what my agent told me about you and Katerina Vitt?

(laughing)

(mocking their laughter) Fuck you.

(tango music plays)

Announcer: Our next couple,

contestants number 13.

Steve Chin and Rita Wu.

(applause)

This is my dream come true, Steve.

We're competing in the Topanga Tango...

Fandango.

But of course.

There's just one thing I have to tell you.

Under the starry skies in Argentina.

The pulse of the black night coursing through our blood.

No.

After last night,

you regret waiting so long to be free.

That's more in the general realm.

You know, with the money we win tonight

we can book a Club Med vacation.

Our old snorkeling grounds.

Possibly.

There's just one problem.

It's my wife.

She moved back in this morning.

Your wife?!

You have got to be kidding me.

You know how long I've been waiting for you?

I wasted four years!

- Four years! - Wait! Jesus!

(shouting incoherently)

For the love of God, somebody help me!

I don't even like dancing!

(shouting continues)

Arliss (narrating): An athletic career

is a time of laughter and a time of tears.

I tell all of my clients, don't be disarmed.

Cherish the past,

but remember not to hold onto it.

Look to the future,

youth must be served.

Announcer: And the silver medal goes to 11-year-old Lucy Cole.

(cheers and applause)

And the gold medal goes to national champion

Crystal Dupree for the 4th consecutive time.

Mr. Dupree: Hey, darling!

That's my baby girl!

(cheering)

Arliss (narrating): Competition is about playing.

Always remember the operative word "play".

Mr. Dupree: Hey, baby!

Announcer: Let's all give her a big hand

as she begins a one year self-imposed hiatus.

Take these. Here. Hold 'em up.

Arliss (narrating): My young clients are like my own children.

When it comes time for them to leave the nest,

I never fully let go.

Because in my heart they are irreplaceable.

My name is Arliss Michaels.

I represent athletes.

These are my stories.

Arliss: Lucy, do you know Smith Barney?

♪ We all need to have a good time ♪

♪ We all want to get a smooth ride ♪

♪ And what we really really want ♪

♪ Really really want ♪

♪ Is to find pleasure in the meantime ♪

♪ We all need to have a good time ♪

♪ We all want to get a smooth glide ♪

♪ And what we really really want ♪

♪ Really really want ♪

♪ Is to find pleasure in the meantime ♪

♪ ♪

(vocalizing)

(vocalizing)

♪ We all need to have a good time ♪

♪ We all want to get a smooth ride ♪

♪ And what we really really want ♪

♪ Really really want ♪

♪ Is to find pleasure in the meantime ♪

♪ We all need to have a good time ♪

♪ We all wanna get a smooth glide ♪