Original subtitles

♪ ♪

Arliss (narrating): For most of us,

the dream of becoming a champion,

remains a fantasy.

But for a special few,

- (bell rings) - it is very much a reality.

We cheer them,

we live through them.

Athletes are our last warriors.

My job is to make their dreams come true.

(water splashes)

My name is Arliss Michaels.

I represent athletes,

these are my stories.

♪ Don't know what it is that makes me love you so ♪

♪ I only know I never wanna let you go ♪

♪ 'Cause you started something oh, can't you see ♪

♪ That ever since we met you had a hold on me ♪

♪ It happens to be true ♪

♪ I only wanna be with you ♪

♪ I just wanna be beside you everywhere ♪

♪ As long as we're together, honey, I don't care ♪

♪ 'Cause you started something oh, can't you see ♪

♪ That ever since we met you had a hold on me ♪

♪ No matter what you do ♪

♪ I only wanna be with you ♪

Arliss (narrating): For a sports agent the thrill of victory

occurs at the moment he negotiates a contract

that raises the financial bar.

Thank you, merci.

I'm very, very happy

to be five more years with this team,

my team.

Staying here allow me to do my charity work.

Because I'm receiving much, I must receive back.

Luc, Luc, how does it feel to have the biggest contract

in hockey history?

I think that is a better question

for my new agent.

Arliss (narrating): Of course, if you've got the goods,

any idiot can negotiate.

Fellas, Andrea,

you want to know what it feels like

to negotiate a $92 million dollar contract?

It feels "bucking" great.

(laughing)

(applause)

But seriously,

as great a hockey player as Luc is on the ice,

he's an even greater human being off of it.

(applause)

(reporters clamoring)

You see now why I signed with him, huh?

He is the perfect man for the job, c'est tout.

I mean what else nice of you to say?

How about lunch on me, fellas?

Huh? Huh?

(applause)

Arliss (narrating): The single most important element

in the relationship between an agent and his clients

is trust.

We at AMM pride ourselves,

not on how we perform during the good times,

rather on how we finesse during the bad.

Your mama's so ugly,

she looks like a professional blind date.

Your mama teeth so yellow,

when she smile, all the cars slow down.

Your mama so fat,

her favorite food is seconds!

How long is this gonna go on?

Commissioner, my client feels

he has been unfairly tried by the media

due to statements originating from this office.

Therefore, he as opted to speak

only through his alter ego.

(laughs) I love this game!

Your client punched a referee in the mouth!

An unfortunate occurrence,

but look at it from Dwayne's perspective.

My client grew up on the mean side of town.

He has a brother doing time for armed robbery.

Dwayne himself was sucked into gang activity at a young age.

Your referee insulted his manhood,

which is intolerable on the streets.

Your mama so fat her blood type is Ragu!

Dwayne Troy wasn't playing on the streets, Mr. Michaels.

He was playing in front of 18,000 people

in a well lit arena.

But the referee came at him in a threatening manner,

verbally abusing him!

Commissioner, Dwayne's the victim here.

He's the victim? Dwayne's the victim?

- Max. - Yes, sir?

Bring in the victim.

Doll: Hey, hey, baby, my name is Visa,

'cause I'm everywhere you want to be.

- Hey, baby, check out the package. - Dwayne!

My dick's so big it got a knee in it.

Enough! Your client's a disgrace to the game.

I'm upholding his suspension indefinitely.

No, Commissioner, Commissioner, that's not fair.

That's unprecedented, that's unreasonable.

Tell your client's alter ego to kiss my ass.

(chuckling) I love this game.

Arliss (narrating): Trust is something very, very precious.

It should not be given lightly

and must never be misplaced.

I can already feel the chi starting to flow.

Yes, there's a sublime sense of harmony here.

Yes, now the mirror will have to go

two degrees more northeast across from the window.

That will balance out the yen.

Arliss: Please remind the commissioner,

that he said he would issue a statement

shortly about Dwayne.

Yeah well, that was three months ago.

I sure would appreciate it.

Willie McGuinness!

How's the sultan of sack?

- (error tone) - (bubbling)

What the hell's going on?

Oh well, I'm redesigning your office.

I see. I used to have a desk and now it's fish?

This is feng shui.

Fuck who?

No, no, feng shui is the Chinese practice

of arranging the environments to attract positive energy.

Now the water element in the aquarium

is attracting wealth, luck...

And Motorola.

And those jock tchotchkes,

they have to go. Mm-mm.

Oh no, oh no, no way, no way, not these! Not these!

These are the boxing gloves from

the Tommy Hearns Marvin Hagler fight.

Those gloves? I see those all over town.

These are the originals.

Right, and I'm Johnny Winter.

See, the Chinese believe that the company's future

depends on the good sitting of its president.

It increases the flow of chi.

Excuse me one second.

I don't wanna say anything in front of the client

but how much is this flow of chi

rearranging the flow of my bank account?

27,000.

- Dollars or yen? - Dollars.

$27,000? $27,000?!

Dollars.

No, no, no.

- Oh yes, oh yes. - No, no, no, no.

Yes!

Now did you or did you not give me full autonomy

to do this, yes or no?

How do you define autonomy?

Yes or no?

Yes.

If you want me to do my job correctly,

then you have to trust me.

♪ ♪

Arliss (narrating): At AMM, trust is not a four letter word.

Trust is something that can't be bought.

It must be earned.

(steaming, bubbling)

How could you do it?

How could you give my parking spot to Kirby?

He needed the extra space for his new Hum-Vee.

I mean, so you gotta walk an extra 10 feet.

It's not 10 feet.

It's a whole parking level down.

I meant 10 feet that way.

- Arliss. - Look, look, look, I'll make it up to you.

Stanley, you want my Laker tickets?

I got them on the floor right next to Dyan Cannon.

Oh, you... You gave him my parking spot!

What could I do?

Don't ask me how, but Kirby signed Luc Cassoulet,

just about the biggest client we have.

Plus he stole him from Mike Armstrong.

That's addition by subtraction.

That was four months ago.

Shouldn't the honeymoon be over?

Shouldn't we be at the

"Does she have to click her teeth when she chews?"

Rita: Put this southwest of the door.

Oh, the gong.

Arliss.

Stanley, it's just business.

Do the math... what's five percent of 92 million?

$4,6000,000.

- Which goes into whose coffers? - Ours.

Exactly.

That is if Luc ever pays it.

Meaning?

So far after receiving six salary checks,

Luc Icewalker has paid us zero percent in commissions.

That's zero, the big donut. Gornish!

Did you go through the old invoice routine?

30 days overdue.

60 days overdue.

Damn!

You know, this wouldn't happen if the players union

would allow us to get the checks first.

Okay, I'll bring it up with Kirby.

While you're at it, maybe you can bring this up with Kirby.

What's that?

Luc is buying a house.

This is the list of all the housewarming gifts

from AMM.

$20,000 sound system, $50,000 backyard ice rink!

Who authorized this?

Oh, the same person who authorized the Zamboni.

Rita!

Get Mr. Carlisle on the phone please.

Now!

Auctioneer: $22,000 dollars? $22,500?

$22,500. Thank you.

Do I hear $23,000? $23,000?

(phone ringing)

$24,000?

Bonjour.

Kirby, listen.

Arliss, I can't really talk right now.

Why not? Where the hell are you?

Just picking up a few things.

Listen to me, is Luc there with you?

No, he's, uh...

(auctioneer continues)

he's giving a kid's clinic.

Listen, before you spend one more dollar...

- What the hell's going on? - (muffled shouting)

Go on.

Uh, Kirby, I'll call you back.

Dwayne, my man.

Time to talk.

Yeah, sure. You brought your friends, good for you.

Listen, listen, everybody settle down.

Make yourself at home here.

Can I get anybody anything to drink?

Look here, son. What's going on with my suspension?

You suspended that yet?

Well, actually I've got a meeting scheduled

with the Union Appeals Committee.

Look, I make $12 million dollars a year.

That is $146,000 a game.

I have missed 28 games.

Which is...

which... which is...

Yo, Q-Rock, what am I paying you for?

Uh, that's approximately...

$4,088,000.

- Minus commissions. - Damn right minus commissions!

That is a lot of bank, motherfucker.

Now look, I need dollar bills.

I have got a support staff of 16 people here.

I got a nut big enough to choke RuPaul's fucking ass.

Well, there has been interest from the European league.

Fuck the European league.

Do I look like I speak European to you?

Uh...

(electronic laughing)

- Doll 1: I love this. - Doll 2: My dick's so big it got a knee in it.

Now what are you gonna do about these dolls?

I got 100,000 of these sitting in a warehouse.

Unfortunately, Toys 'R Us canceled the order

because of the suspension.

Bullshit!

"Trash T" was projected to make

$20 million dollars this Christmas.

That potty mouth is for kids?

For ages eight and up.

Man, give me that shit.

I was here first.

- Man, fuck you. Hagler was my idol. - Guys, don't fight over those gloves.

- Why don't you just... - What!

Hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey!

I am in a meeting here, fellas!

Ole' Bee Gees.

Go make me some Tang.

(indistinct muttering)

(snickers) You's a jumpy motherfucker.

Look, Dwayne.

Uh, look, nobody wants you to play more than I do.

Trust me.

You know, I'm not making any money here either.

But the only way to get you back

is to rehabilitate your image.

Appeal your case in the court of public opinion.

The only court I care about

is the court I'm not playing on.

You ever think that some of your problems might be

related to the way you conduct yourself in public?

Listen to this "Brooks Brother" Uncle Tom...

trying to tell D.T. how to walk the talk.

Who are you calling Uncle Tom?

Bitch!

Stanley, Stanley!

These are our guests.

Fine, why don't you give them a parking space?

(Rita screaming)

What's up with the bitch?!

What, what...?!

That, look at it.

It has way too much yang energy.

This room needs Earth tones.

Plus it's ugly as shit.

Dwayne: Hell, yeah.

Who ordered it?

You know who ordered it.

Arliss, this cannot work!

Okay, I'll talk with Kirby. Now's a good time.

Dwayne: Yo Arliss, where you think you going?

Look Dwayne, I've got a crisis,

but trust me, I'll come up with something.

Peace out.

Arliss (narrating): Trust is not just something between client and agent.

But also between an athlete and his public.

Kirby: Merci...

merci, merci...

merci...

merci, merci.

- Who is paying for all these? - We are.

At $50 a pop?

Thanks for coming.

Come on Arliss, this is great for Luc's image.

He's donating his time, he's helping the kids.

Signing everything.

Except his commission checks.

Come on Arliss, it probably slipped his mind.

I mean, you know, I didn't pay a gas bill once

for three years.

It happens, trust me.

Kirby, if you're not gonna talk to Luc about this,

I will.

No, you're not.

You are not gonna talk to my client.

Excuse me?

I know what's really bothering you,

you're jealous.

I'm jealous?

Yeah, you're jealous

because the biggest client that AMM has this year

was brought in by moi.

I am not jealous.

I just want him to pay me the damn money he...

Oh, oh, hey, look who's here?

How's the prince of the power play?

Luc Cassoulet, how goes it?

C'est bon.

- Hey! Looky over here, Cammi Granato! - (ice scrapes)

How's the wonder woman of women's hockey?

Nice to see you, Arliss.

Doesn't she look nice in her gold medal?

Hey, where's yours?

Sorry, forgot.

Hey, who cares anything about medals?

I mean look at this turnout.

All of them, they come to see her, not moi.

Cammi: No, it was your idea.

I think it's really great what you're doing for the community, Luc.

It is my nature, I like to give.

Speaking of that, listen, can I have a moment with you?

Mike: Hey, hey, hey, Cammi, stay away from this guy.

I can't afford to lose my entire client list to AMM.

Mike Armstrong, nice to see you.

Yeah.

Uh, Cammi, the car's outside if you'd like to get dressed.

- Thanks, Mike, see you guys. - Salut!

Hey Luc, we've got a limousine waiting outside

to take us to the jet.

Jet, what jet?

Oh, we got a little luncheon up in Santa Barbara

and I chartered a jet.

I knew you wouldn't mind.

- Nice seeing you, Mike. Let's go, Luc. - Bye.

Salut.

A fine young man that Cassoulet.

Hated to lose him.

Yeah, I've gotta say you've been really kinda nice about this whole thing, Mike.

What's up? (scoffs)

Why do you always think there's some kind of angle, Arliss?

So you're okay with this, right, there's no hard feelings?

No hard feelings, I'm okay with this.

Of course, he is one of a kind.

Yes, he is.

No women chasing, no bar room brawls,

the press loves him, and boy, can he skate.

Skate?

The best you have ever seen.

In fact, if I had to lose him to anyone,

I'm so glad I lost him to you.

(chuckles) Later.

Skate?

He's a deadbeat?

He's a deadbeat.

Did Armstrong tell you that?

It's not what he said, it's what he didn't say.

No wonder he didn't mind losing the client.

Sure, he didn't get paid a dime in commission

for Cool Hand Luc for six years

and now it's our turn to get stiffed.

Well, well, there's always litigation.

Why don't we just drag him into court?

You can't sue a client.

You'll never get another client.

And if one learns that one's not paying commission...

Pretty soon no one is paying commission.

Great, we can all come in here and work for nothing.

Well, what are we gonna do? We can't just give him

a free ride for the next four years.

It just makes me want to...

(Rita screaming)

What! It's okay.

(stammering)

Relax!

Relax, relax, relax, relax.

Arliss: It's, umm, it's...

Looks like it came out of the demented trash compactor.

What the hell is going on?

I got a business to... Oh, it came.

Oh! C'est magnifique! Huh?

Don't you love it?

It represents man's struggle, you know, against...

something.

(Rita screaming)

No, no, no!

Please! No, no!

- It's evil, kill it, kill it. - Calm down, calm down.

What's the deal with her? This is art.

Ha!

It's a steal at $47,000.

$47,000?!

(screams)

Arliss, I want you to get rid of it.

It's destroying the flow of chi.

You know, I'm beginning to associate the increased flow of chi,

with the decreased flow of revenue.

Listen people, this cycle's over.

No more jets, no more Zambonis,

- What? - No more feng shui.

- Feng shui does not "fengshun" here anymore! - No, no, no, wait!

No, no, no, we are hemorrhaging money, people.

All because some idiot signed a deadbeat client

to the office!

Oh, and who would that be?

- You! Who the fuck do you think? - Son-of-a-bitch.

Look, trust me, Arliss, I mean, Luc is a good guy.

It's just been some mistake.

There's no mistake. He knows exactly what he's doing.

Yeah, well, the point is what the fuck am I supposed to do now?

I don't know what the fuck you're supposed to do. Don't ever swear at me again.

He's the moron the brought him in. He's the one that signed him.

- Why are you yelling at me? - So, talk to him!

Can we talk about this later, okay?

Luc is gonna be here in a couple of seconds.

Luc's coming up here now?

Yes, he's coming up. He's gonna sign some papers

to close the escrow on his house.

(Rita and Stanley arguing)

He's coming up here now?

Rita: How many of these authorization forms

- do we have to put in? - Stanley: It doesn't matter.

He only has to sign one of them.

Kirby: Jesus, if Luc catches on, I'm fucked.

Rita: Kirby, so help me,

if you have screwed up my design concept.

Kirby: Hey, what about me? Do you know how much I owe in expenses?

Stanley: $88,300.77!

My God, it's a lot, huh?

What, uh, what is all that?

It's just escrow and things, you know?

(speaks French) It's so confusing.

Oh, I know it drives you crazy, huh?

Don't worry about it.

Stanley will take you through it.

This is escrow.

Oui.

Stanley: Appraisal fee.

Oui.

Title fee.

And this fee.

What is that?

Hey, great hockey game the other night.

That hat trick!

How exciting.

Octopusses on the ice!

What is that?

That's, umm, what is that?

That's, uh, that's your, uh...

Stanley.

That would be your, um...

That's the...

Arliss?

Uh, that's your... Rita?

Oh, uh, shoot, I forgot to put the club on my car.

Bank wire authorization.

Uh, formalities.

Yeah, yeah, it's... It's standard for, you know,

just commissions, and then, you know...

- Arliss: It's for your protection. - I see.

You've been talking to, uh, to Mike Armstrong, huh?

You play your stupid games.

But I am not stupid, huh?

(paper ripping)

Like I said, I knew exactly who to sign with.

He was the perfect man for the job.

(speaks French)

Oh, as for your, uh, commissions...

just invoice me.

(speaks French)

Son-of-a-bitch even took my pen.

Dr. Irv, you've gotta give me something for my nerves.

I don't care. Xanax, Zoloft,

Valium, I mean whatever you want.

This week has taken a toll on me bad.

- I don't see how it could get any worse. - (hip hop music playing)

Hey, hey, look, what do you want?

What do you want? Credit cards? My ATM card?

My Rolex? What?

What? What about girls?

What about girls? I know a couple of girls.

♪ ♪

Arliss (narrating): It is always important to maintain an even keel

no matter what the situation.

Never let the highs be too high,

or the lows be too low.

Always remember when one door closes,

another one opens.

We can work something out. Look, you want Laker tickets?

I got 'em on the court right next to (indistinct).

(door squeaks)

(nervous chuckle)

Dwayne, man, you could have called.

(stammering) I mean not that I mind visiting you down here.

Q-Rock, Pee Wee, how's it going?

Man: Shut up and sit your white ass down.

You see any other white motherfuckers up in here?

This your bitch?

What's going on?

Arliss, man, I need your help.

I think I might have really fucked up.

Oh, yeah, you fucked up alright.

You fucked up bad.

(phone rings)

(guns cocking)

No, no phone, cell phone, cell phone.

Arliss Michaels.

Arliss, guess what? I followed Luc home

and he wouldn't even let me in the door.

Arliss, I don't think he's gonna pay us any money.

Kirby, I'll talk to you later, okay, bye.

I'm sorry, it won't happen again.

- (exclaims) - (phone rings)

Arliss Michaels.

Arliss, I have worked too hard on this

and it is not my fault. You cannot cut me off.

(guns un-cock)

- (phone rings) - (guns cock)

(phone clatters, stops ringing)

Next thing goes off, I'm blowing his ass away.

Who is this guy?

My brother.

Your real brother?

I thought he was...

Oh, you didn't know.

Yeah, jail's are so overcrowded now,

they paroling everybody.

Even armed robbers, ain't that right, baby bro?

But now we gonna make shit straight.

- Make shit straight, what's... - (mumbles)

You told me you told him.

You lying motherfucker!

Same lying fucker putting me in a cage for six years.

What's he mean put him in a cage?

Tell him. Tell him!

You know that armed robbery that he was convicted for?

Well, it didn't go down exactly like that.

The motherfucker set me up!

You set up your own brother?

What the fuck was I supposed to do?

I had to protect my career.

Punk! What about my career?

You ain't got no career.

You ain't got no game.

- Go easy, go easy, go easy. - I ain't got no game?

That's motherfucking bullshit!

Look at your fat ass.

What game you gonna play in, huh?

The roly-poly Ding Dong Cheeto eating league, motherfucker?

Don't be judgmental.

Bullshit.

Man, where's mine?

I'm the one that should have had the mad loot!

I should be the one that's living life.

Your punk ass,

you can't even handle your motherfucking business.

You throwing this shit all away.

You put me away for six years,

- I'm gonna kill your ass for motherfucking eternity. - (gun cocks)

- No, no, no, no! - Whoa, whoa.

- Your mama's so ugly... - (gunfire)

(gunfire continues)

(exclaiming)

That's it! That's it! That's all I can take!

You want to kill me, stand in line!

I got an associate that's driving me to bankruptcy!

I got a secretary who thinks she's a Dalai Lama!

I got a hockey player who's not paying me a dime in commission!

And now I'm who the fuck knows where

with guns in my face!

So you want to kill me? Go ahead, kill me.

But I'm hearing a lot of me, me, me

which gets me to thinking

that you brought my ass down here for a reason.

Now you want yours? I want mine, we all want ours.

But the fact is that nobody's getting nothing

unless he's back playing basketball!

Now you want to shoot the motherfucker,

shoot the motherfucker.

Yo, yo, dog.

(stammering) We family.

(sighs)

As incredible as any game winning turnaround jump shot,

Dwayne Troy, the bad boy of basketball

is becoming the good Samaritan

of this city's streets.

That's because he's getting neighborhood gang members

to turn in their weapons for tickets.

So why are you doing this?

I have just been so blessed and this is just,

you know, my way of giving something back to my community.

Oh, and by the way...

do you know anyone who has a home for this little fella?

Say hi, Max. There you go.

(chuckles) Not bad, huh?

Roll this by me again.

Oh, this gives you 40% of all the revenue

from all the "Trash T" dolls.

Gross or net?

Net.

Gross is fine, gross is good. You want gross?

You goddamn right, gross.

None of that adjusted gross either, dollar one.

- No, that's fine. - (phone rings)

Uh, would you excuse me for a second?

Arliss Michaels.

Oh, I'll take that call.

Arliss (narrating): In the end,

the agent/client relationship is based on many things.

I just spoke to the commissioner, he's ready to talk.

(both laughing)

You done me a solid, Arliss.

Anything I can do for you,

anything at all, you just let me know.

That's okay.

(laughing)

Actually...

(doorbell rings)

Arliss (narrating): It's built on cooperation.

I'm coming! (complaining in French)

(doorbell ringing frantically)

It's so early still.

Company.

Arliss (narrating): Trust is built on, oh, how should I put this?

An Esprit De Corps.

A collaboration, if you will.

Not just between myself and my ever-growing client base,

but one which extends to each and every member

of the AMM family.

Oh, thank you.

Arliss (narrating): No, trust is something you cannot mask.

For the flame that one holds so close to one's heart,

is something that cannot be tread upon.

(wood breaking)

(laughing)

- (giggling) - (wood breaking)

Man: It gives me great pleasure to present two athletes

who truly care.

Two athletes who don't just take

but constantly give back to the community.

Luc Cassoulet and Dwayne Troy.

Their extensive charity...

Arliss (narrating): The mark of the truly outstanding agent

is the trust that he shares with others.

My clients know I trust them

because they know they can trust me.

(chuckling) I love this game.

Arliss (narrating): My name is Arliss Michaels.

I represent athletes.

These are my stories.

♪ ♪

♪ You're true blue ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ You're true blue ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ You're my sister ♪ ♪ Sister ♪

♪ You're my brother ♪ ♪ Brother ♪

♪ Yo, we come from ♪ ♪ Come from ♪

♪ Different mothers ♪ ♪ Mothers ♪

♪ I know I can always count on you ♪

♪ To be true blue ♪

♪ Glad I got a friend like you ♪

♪ I'm just a man, just a lonely man ♪

♪ Searching for some friends ♪

♪ That I can call family ♪

♪ Just want a friend that'll share this dance ♪

♪ With me, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ You're true blue, you're true blue ♪

♪ Yes you are ♪

♪ You're true blue, you're true blue ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ You're true blue ♪ ♪ You're a true friend ♪

♪ I'm telling you ♪ ♪ Yes, you are ♪

♪ You're true blue ♪