Original subtitles

Arliss: For most of us,

the dream of becoming a champion,

remains a fantasy.

But for a special few,

it is very much a reality.

We cheer them,

we live through them.

Athletes are our last warriors.

My job is to make their dreams come true.

My name is Arliss Michaels.

I represent athletes,

these are my stories.

♪ Don't know what it is that makes me love you so ♪

♪ I only know I never wanna let you go ♪

♪ 'Cause you started something oh, can't you see ♪

♪ That ever since we met you had a hold on me ♪

♪ It happens to be true ♪

♪ I only wanna be with you ♪

♪ I just wanna be beside you everywhere ♪

♪ As long as we're together, honey, I don't care ♪

♪ 'Cause you started something oh, can't you see ♪

♪ That ever since we met you had a hold on me ♪

♪ No matter what you do ♪

♪ I only wanna be with you ♪

Arliss: There is nothing in professional sports

quite like Super Bowl week.

The days preceding the ultimate showdown

become a non-stop cornucopia of corporate logos

and a merchandiser's dream.

But the hottest ticket in town still remains

the annual Arliss Michaels' Super Bowl Bash...

Hey, Arliss. What's up?

Hey, Terrell Davis.

How's the Bronco Blockbuster?

Oh, you know, getting ready for the big game on Sunday.

You bet, what is this? Chocolate, pizza?

This stuff brings on your headaches.

You shouldn't be eating this stuff.

You've got the biggest game of your life.

- Go got yourself a goodie bag. - Alright.

I gotta take care of you guys all the time.

- Great party, Arliss. - Hey, how you doing?

Nice to see you, you too.

- Male: Hey, man, good to see ya! - Hey.

Hey, hey, Dorsey Levens,

how's the great back of the Pack Attack?

Hey, I'm doing alright.

Hey, I thought you said Lucian Balboa was gonna be here.

Yeah, well, his wife is expecting any moment now.

But don't you worry, he's not gonna miss my party.

Alright. He better not party too much

or else I'll run his ass over come Sunday.

Ooh, them's fighting words.

Take these.

Arliss: People constantly ask me

who is the most important client I have.

That's easy.

My most important client is the fan...

Listen, I don't want any pain-in-the-ass fans crashing this party.

If they're not on the list, they don't get in.

No exceptions, understand?

Yes, sir.

Yo, Kirby Carlisle!

Hey, can I have your autograph?

Oh. Sure thing, kid.

Wow, Kirby Carlisle!

I still have your old football card.

Really?

Yeah. Do you still drive that candy-apple red GTO?

No, the I.R.S. repo...

Man, that car was cherry, wasn't it?

That car was tits.

Excuse me, sir, you can't go in.

Oh, it's okay, he's with me.

Thanks.

No problem. Whaddaya drinking?

(indistinct chattering)

What the hell are you doing?

You told me you wanted a record of the party

just in case you were audited.

Yeah, I don't need you to be Scorcese.

I just need to get testimonials, okay?

Right.

- Hey Arliss. - Yo.

Hey, man, I'm gonna get out of here,

My migraine's acting up again.

I warned ya. I warned ya.

- Okay, you take care of yourself. - Alright.

- Okay, man. - Hey, see you later.

- You too. - Alright. Hey, by the way,

Did you change your name?

What are you talking about?

Look man, goodie bag.

Look at this!

They misspelled my name.

Maybe that's how they spell your name in Taiwan.

They promised me those kids knew how to read.

Oh, shrimp's in the cooler.

More shrimp?

I just saw a whole platter out there!

This party's going to hell. Why aren't you out there?

Oh, why? Because some cheap son-of-a-bitch

decided not to hire a caterer

and let his overworked staff do it,

and she's a bit behind.

Caterers are impersonal.

(scoffs) Caterers cost money.

Where the hell's Ryan Leaf?

I haven't heard a word from Ryan Leaf.

I'm afraid Leigh Steinberg's gonna sign him.

Oh, I forgot to tell you, Ryan Leaf called this morning.

He'll see you tomorrow.

When were you planning on telling me this?

Oh, excuse me, but I've been a little bit busy!

Hello, Oksana Baiul.

Can you say something nice about Arliss?

Arliss?

You know, your agent.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hello, Arliss,

you have been always there for me,

through all the good times

and that one bad one.

My man, Arliss!

Lucian Balboa!

- Hey, Arliss. - The defensive player of the year.

How's the Sultan of the sack dance?

- Show it to me, show it to me, show it to me, show it to me. - (grunting)

Camille, you look radiant.

Thank you.

Perrier-Jouet, anyone?

Oh, no thanks, not for a couple more weeks.

No thanks.

And how is little Lucian?

This is your Uncle Arliss,

your agent in the year 2018. (laughs)

At least we already know he's a good kicker,

don't we, honey?

I'm sorry, Arliss, we won't be able to stay too long.

All this excitement isn't good for the baby.

Kirby!

Hey, Lucian.

Oh, sorry, I haven't eaten all day.

I guess not.

Still, quite a party.

Hey, the consensus is,

in order for Denver to win, that you are the man!

I know.

Rita: Arliss, Ryan Leaf, line one.

Um, excuse me.

Lucian, uh, you guys feeling good about Sunday night?

Yeah.

You gonna cover the spread?

Kirby, I can't help you with that.

Right, right, what am I thinking?

I know you can't discuss that.

No, I wasn't trying to pump you for information.

I was just wondering if, in your opinion, you know,

if there was gonna be 47 1/2 points scored?

Kirby, I'm not helping you

with your stupid Super Bowl bets.

Cheeseheads rule!

- Cheeseheads rule! - Ah!

(Camille screaming)

Ryan, you are missing one hell of a party.

(screaming)

Grab the knife, somebody get the knife!

Hey, hey!

(Camille screaming)

Ooh!

(Camille continues screaming)

Somebody get the knife! Get the knife!

Get the knife! Somebody get the knife!

Rita: Someone get the knife!

Ow! You son-of-a-bitch!

Ahh! Ahh!

Rita: Stanley!

(continues shouting)

Arliss: We must remember

that fans carve out a unique place in our society.

Get security!

Ha! What security?

(siren wails)

- Come on! You're okay. Come on. - Ah! Ah!

Nurse! Nurse! Nurse! Nurse! Nurse!

We got an emergency here.

We need medical attention now! Now!

So do they.

No, we need medical attention now!

Look, we've got people here with gunshot wounds,

overdoses, and heart attacks waiting too.

I understand...

Wait a second, aren't you Lucian Balboa?

Lucian Balboa!

Yeah, Lucian Balboa!

And Stanley Babson.

And Lucian Balboa!

I'm fine,

Don't worry about that, I'll be okay.

Yeah, Lucian's gonna be fine, just a flesh wound,

looked a lot worse than it actually was.

How's it going there?

Oh, just your typical A.M.M. crime scene.

- Who do you like in the game? - Come on.

So how is Stanley doing?

I'll check.

Stanley: Arliss, now is not a good time!

He looks good.

Oh, listen, I gave the videotape to the police.

Oh, man, I hope the press doesn't get wind of this.

The last thing I want to do is go on SportsCenter

and answer a bunch of stupid questions.

Oh, you mean stupid questions like, "How did he get in?

And "Where was the security?"

And "Why does this champagne taste like shit?"

Rita, no jokes, okay?

- Yeah, alright. - I'll call you back later.

Lucian's gonna be fine and ready to play Sunday.

Great, thanks a lot.

I just need to keep him overnight for observation.

Fine. Fine. Look, Doc, I appreciate what you did.

If there's anything I can ever do for you, just ask me.

How about tickets for the game?

Not a prayer, what about Clipper tickets?

(scoffs)

- (phone rings) - (sighs)

Arliss Michaels.

Arliss, guess who called and wanted to ask you a stupid question?

So, once again,

recapping our top story here on SportsCenter,

Lucian Balboa, the All-Pro defensive end

was stabbed, stabbed at a private party.

A party held by his agent, Arliss Michaels,

who joins us now.

No pun intended, Arliss, let's cut to the chase.

What happened?

Well, the facts aren't all in,

but it looks like an isolated incident

of just some overzealous fan from the team who got

a little carried away. And...

You're smiling though. How can you smile through this?

Well, I'm smiling because Lucian's gonna be okay.

It's one of those incidences you can't really help.

He's gonna be fine.

Is he gonna play?

Oh, sure, he's absolutely gonna play.

You watch, he's gonna be going to Disneyland.

How did the assailant get into this private party?

Uh, you know, right now there's an on-going investigation,

so, I'm really not at liberty to comment,

although there is a rumor

that he might have snuck in with the caterer.

It's an obvious question, but I have to ask you.

You had security at this party, didn't you?

Absolutely. In fact, we had double our usual security.

Top-of-the-line people, um, who do cater

and secure most of my building.

You spared no expense here?

No, none at all. I mean, that's just, you know, that's just my style.

But you know that.

Arliss, thanks for your time. And we'll do lunch.

Great.

But not in your office.

Let's go back to the studio.

Arliss: If the expression "feeding frenzy"

didn't originate at the Super Bowl,

it sure should've.

Kirby.

I need to talk to you.

Boss... I'm really sorry.

Oh, not as sorry as I am.

I have become the laughing stock of the nation.

I'm losing clients.

I'm losing my hard earned reputation!

I know.

I mean who could've predicted

that this guy would go Ginsu?

What I want to know is how the fuck this guy got in here.

Yeah.

How the fuck did he get in here?

Look, I need you to get some security stuff.

"Security"?

You know... I don't know, cameras and... stuff.

You know, the press is on my ass

and I need somebody to take care of this stuff.

I'd go with you but I gotta go see Ryan Leaf tomorrow.

Anyway, I'm putting you in charge.

Can I count on you?

Right, I'm your guy.

Yeah? Okay, thanks a lot.

Sure.

Arliss: For me, Super Bowl week is sheer relaxation.

Just one party after another.

Hey, Ryan! Ryan Leaf.

How's the crown prince of quarterbacks, man?

I heard about that thing that happened with Lucian. Is he alright?

Oh, he's gonna be fine, it's a scratch.

They're making a big thing out of it.

I heard there was no security.

No, there was security there.

I mean, it's just the media, you're gonna get used to this.

I've been talking to Indianapolis, San Diego.

Listen, I want to meet your parents.

My parents heard...

Hi, Arliss, how are you doing?

Hey, how are you doing, Leigh?

I was really sorry to hear about that incident,

you know, in your office, the security breach.

Well, I mean, there's no breach of security.

You of all people know how the media blows these things out of proportion.

You met my client, Ryan Leaf?

Arliss: Your client?

Come on Ryan, we've got to meet some people.

- (beeping) - Uh...

Kirby: Go on. Ah, ah.

Step through the metal detector.

Kirby, this is stupid.

I need you to step through the metal detector.

Come forward.

- (beeping) - Oh.

Let me see your purse.

What... (sighs)

Step back through the metal detector.

I'm gonna kill you.

Come forward.

What are these?

Oh, stop that!

Come forward.

Okay, so we got witnesses, we got this guy on tape.

This should be an open and shut case, right?

Yeah, should be.

This guy Knopf is gonna be charged with

assault with a deadly weapon,

trespassing, and probably attempted murder.

(sighs)

10 years? 15 years?

Tell me, what are we looking at?

How much time is this guy gonna get?

- Arliss, I've got to talk to you. - One second, one second.

Well, just to be sure this guy Knopf

is put away for a long time, okay?

There's one more thing. It's a shame you don't handle security

for Saddam Hussein, he'd be dead by now.

(laughs sarcastically)

Cheeseheads rule.

- What? - Cheeseheads rule!

What are you talking about?

The guy who attacked Lucian said "Cheeseheads rule!"

So what?

Look...

(Arliss reads)

When did you get this?

It came in yesterday's mail.

Yesterday's mail?

I didn't open it until right now.

You've had this for over a day?

We had this before?

Why didn't you get this to me earlier?

Why? Yeah.

Because I was too busy rushing around

getting things ready for your party.

Why?

Because you're too cheap to hire a caterer.

Why?

Because you're too cheap to hire a security guard!

Okay, okay, okay, you made your point.

I can't believe this, this is not good.

Should we give it to the police?

Of course we should.

Of course we should.

Arliss, I am...

It's okay, it's not your fault.

I didn't...

It's okay, let me take care of it.

Okay. Okay.

What are you doing?

Smoking a Romeo y Julieta Churchill. Why, you want one?

You're destroying the letter.

What letter?

Arliss, that letter is proof that

that fan was planning to kill Lucian.

Oh, and it's also proof that we had the letter beforehand

and didn't do a damn thing about it!

If you think I'm a joke now, wait'll they get a hold of this.

But it's evidence.

Yeah, evidence my team is incompetent.

We could be sued for negligence.

- Arliss... - Look,

The police have the attack on videotape.

They got a room full of witnesses.

That's all the evidence they need.

It's an open and shut case.

I don't think you should get rid of that letter.

What letter?

(knocking)

Do you know what it's like

driving down a street filled with potholes

with 10 stitches in your ass?

Stanley, look,

Hey, it'll never happen again.

I mean, did you notice we got security?

Yes, isn't that closing the barn door

after the horse has just been stabbed in the ass?

Look, Stanley,

no one feels worse about this than I do.

But know that I'm gonna do everything in my power

to make sure justice is served.

Hey, you didn't get your goodie bag.

Check this out, I loved it, Arliss Michaels t-shirt.

The name's misspelled so hang on,

it's gonna be a collector's item one day.

And um, shrimp.

Arliss, Camille doesn't want me to play on Sunday.

Not play?

In the Super Bowl?

She's still shaken up by what happened last night.

I understand, but you've got to convince her.

This may be the only chance you get to play the Super Bowl.

And this may be the only chance he gets to start a family!

Camille, no one feels worse about this than I do,

but maybe we're overreacting.

Overreacting?

There's some lunatic out there, Arliss, trying to kill my husband!

That man is in custody and will be put away

for a very long time.

No, honey, I'm frightened. This is...

Lucian, Camille, there's no way

I would ever put your family at risk, ever.

But he's worked his whole life to get to this point.

If he doesn't play then that punk got what he wanted,

to keep him out of the game!

Arliss, you promise me that this guy

is not gonna get out of jail?

I promise, I promise.

Look, the Super Bowl is important to me...

but my family is more important.

I guarantee you that when you have that baby,

your man will be at your side.

If he gets out, I don't play.

You have my word.

There is no way in hell that this guy's gonna get out.

What do you mean he's getting out?

They're reducing the charges to simple assault.

He'll probably get probation.

Probation? For slashing Lucian Balboa?

The problem is we can't prove

that he came to the party with the sole intent to kill Mr. Balboa.

What about the videotape?

(Camille screaming)

- That's him. - Mm-hm.

And that's you.

That's, that's...

There he...

(indistinct shouts)

- Get security! - What security?

This tape isn't gonna do us much good.

I can't believe this.

You're letting a stalker loose?

His lawyer claims it wasn't premeditated,

he had no intention to harm your client.

He said he's just an overzealous fan

who was overwhelmed by the moment.

Not premeditated?

He snuck into the party.

How much more premeditated do you need?

Well, Mr. Knopf claims

that he was invited inside to the party.

That's ridiculous! I mean, who would have invited him in?

Just doing my job.

Kirby Carlisle!

Can I have your autograph?

It was you who let him in!

It was an accident.

An accident? You were drinking with him!

Why didn't you just hand him the knife?

Look, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

You're sorry?

What's this? What is this?

Oh, I had microphones and cameras put in

all the sprinkler heads.

As Chief Security Officer

I have to know what's going on.

You can't spy on people.

This is highly illegal!

Oh! Like the letter that you didn't turn over to the police?

What letter?

I got ears, everywhere.

Check this out.

This is the "Oni-Vox 600."

It's got a listening range of 1,000 feet.

With this I can hear a mosquito fart on La Cienega.

Arliss: What's she doing?

What is she...

Shit.

Rita: Oh!

Are you nuts? Manufacturing evidence?

Whose prints you think they're gonna find on this? Yours.

Arliss, I am a wreck.

Look at my face, I can't eat, I can't sleep.

You've got to tell the police about the letter.

- What letter? - Oh!

If you don't, I will.

Will what? Explain how you were negligent in your duties?

If you hadn't been so cheap!

If you had answered the mail!

A serious breach of security!

Don't even start with me.

If you hadn't let that son-of-a-bitch in.

You let him in?

Stanley, I'm really sorry.

You let in the man who filleted my ass?

He did.

You know, I may have let him in,

but it's not my fault he's out.

He's out?

- He's out. - Oh, god, it's my fault.

Why is it your fault? He let him in.

- If I only read the letter. - Both: What letter?

The letter he destroyed that would've put this guy away.

You destroyed evidence?

Hey, if you'd been Stanley Babson instead of Stanley Kubrick,

we wouldn't need any letter.

Don't blame Stanley, if you'd hired security.

If you'd answered the mail.

If you weren't such an idiot.

(phone ringing)

Uh-huh. Yeah.

Arliss Michaels.

Hey Arliss, it's Terrell Davis.

Hey, Terrell, my man!

Getting ready to kick ass Sunday?

Not without Lucian Balboa, we're not.

He just told the team that he's not playing in the Super Bowl.

Not playing?

That can't... It's a temporary thing.

I wouldn't worry about that.

Arliss, if we lose Lucian for the game,

you lose me as a client.

(phone clicks, dial tone)

Damn!

Okay, okay, great, it's official.

Lucian's not playing on Sunday now.

How is this possible? Some maniac carves up my ass on Tuesday

and he's walking out on Friday?

You should've seen that prick smirking at me

when they let him go.

Why not? He got what he wanted?

Lucian's not playing in the Super Bowl.

We've got to get this asshole back in jail.

Oh, so does that mean you're gonna tell the police about the letter?

That's one way to go.

- Okay. - Let's go another way.

♪ ♪

You used me, you nearly got my ass fired.

Look, I'm sorry, I just snapped, I guess.

Bullshit, I know better, you used me, dude.

Man, get away from me or I'll call the cops.

(chuckles) I'm gonna pound your head so far down,

you're gonna be shittin' teeth.

(mumbles)

♪ ♪

(screaming)

Whoo!

(whooping)

Yo, Zinger.

Get away from me, you're an asshole.

Hey man.

You had an open shot at the fucker and you missed him.

(both laughing)

(both grunting)

(both shout indistinctly)

Oh, this is my man!

You crazy motherfucker.

I couldn't believe it, you were on SportsCenter!

No!

CNN, S.I., Fox!

No!

Stern talked about you!

Howard talked about me?

He called you an "a-hole"!

Alright!

I couldn't believe you'd do it, man.

Talk is cheap, but not my man!

Who's got balls, huh?!

Both: Cheeseheads! (grunting)

Both: Cheeseheads! Cheeseheads rule!

Cheeseheads!

(on tape) Cheeseheads rule, cheeseheads rule!

Cheeseheads rule! Cheeseheads rule! Whoo!

Zinger: How'd you get in, dude?

Knopf: You remember Kirby Carlisle?

Zinger: Kirby Carlisle? You used to try to trade me that old loser's football card.

Knopf: That loser let me in!

(both laugh)

Knopf and Zinger: Cheeseheads rule! Cheeseheads rule! Cheeseheads rule!

Zinger: This calls for a celebration, man, I'm buying,

'Cause you the fan.

- Knopf: No, you the fan! - No, you the fan!

Yo, Zinger.

(chuckles)

Ooh, hey. Hey, where we watching the game Sunday?

House or the bar?

TV's bigger at the house.

More beer at the bar.

Bar!

Bar, yeah!

You the fan! No, you the fan!

You the fan!

You the fan, buddy!

Favre takes a snap, he drops back.

He fakes a handoff to Levens.

It looks like it was gonna be an option

but Freeman's open across the middle,

and Favre hits him for 17, folks!

First down, Packers!

Arliss: What is it that allows the fan

to rise above the non-believer?

Male: He's got Freeman in the end zone,

it's a touchdown!

Arliss: Simply put,

the passion they feel for their team.

Come on!

(loud rock music)

Female: Clarence!

What?

Somebody's here to see you!

Zinger Otofsky?

My name is Arliss...

I know who you are.

Look at this, yeah, yeah.

Wow.

See, now you're a real fan.

Oh, I gotta ask you something.

Now some people think Favre is better than Starr.

Now, personally, I think the Lombardi teams would've crushed the Holmgren teams.

What do you think?

I think I don't want to talk to you.

You don't know what I've got to say.

Hey man, I wasn't even fuckin' there.

I had nothing to do with what Knopf did.

Nobody's saying you did.

But the police might want to ask you a few questions.

And if you're withholding evidence,

that's a serious charge.

Now I appreciate loyalty as much as anyone

but I hate to see the fans get a bad name.

Shut up.

The real fans, I feel...

You don't give a shit about loyalty.

You don't give a shit about the fans.

Come super bowl time,

you and your kind gobble up all the tickets

so the real fans can't afford any.

When the Pack takes the field tomorrow,

your rich ass will be sitting in some skybox

and mine will be planted to a bar stool.

But at least I'll be sitting with the true fans.

All I know is that Darryl Knopf

is my best friend...

And he told me he was gonna take out Lucian Balboa.

He said he was gonna crash all these Super Bowl parties

'til he found him.

He was really into it, man, totally focused.

And he knew exactly what he was doing.

He wasn't just overwhelmed by the moment...

Arliss: The word "fan" is short for the word "fanatic."

While it should be noted

a few do go overboard occasionally,

the rank and file you can always count on...

Welcome to Oz.

Prisoner: Ooh-whoo!

Arliss: At times we forget that without fans

there would be no professional sports.

Well, if I can make just one fan's dream come true,

then I can honestly say,

Arliss Michaels had a hell of a year.

- (indistinct announcements) - (crowd cheers)

Arliss: All's well that ends well.

Lucian Balboa not only played,

but starred in the Super Bowl,

and true to my word,

when Camille Balboa had her baby,

her man was indeed at her side.

- Announcer: Lucian Balboa scooped up the loose ball! - Go! Go! Go!

- He escapes from the tackle! - (baby crying)

He could go all the way!

(baby crying)

(shushing)

Touchdown!

My name is Arliss Michaels.

I represent athletes.

These are my stories.

(baby crying)

(baby cries)

♪ ♪