Original subtitles

Arliss: For most of us,

the dream of becoming a champion

remains a fantasy.

But for a special few,

it is very much a reality.

We cheer them,

we live through them.

Athletes are our last warriors.

My job is to make their dreams come true.

My name is Arliss Michaels.

I represent athletes.

These are my stories.

♪ Don't know what it is that makes me love you so ♪

♪ I only know I never wanna let you go ♪

♪ 'Cause you started something oh, can't you see ♪

♪ That ever since we met you had a hold on me ♪

♪ It happens to be true ♪

♪ I only wanna be with you ♪

♪ I just wanna be beside you everywhere ♪

♪ As long as we're together, honey, I don't care ♪

♪ 'Cause you started something oh, can't you see ♪

♪ That ever since we met you had a hold on me ♪

♪ No matter what you do ♪

♪ I only wanna be with you ♪

Arliss: When it comes to long-term relationships,

the accent is on history,

personal history,

the moments shared together.

A deep well from which I drink.

♪ You don't have to say you love me ♪

♪ Just be close at hand ♪

♪ You don't have to stay forever ♪

♪ I will understand ♪

♪ Believe me... ♪

Ladies and gentlemen,

I give to you,

the national collegiate coach of the year,

number 27 in your programs,

number one in your hearts,

Granite Giles!

How about them hounds?!

(barking)

Ruff, ruff, ruff!

Kirby,

slant right on two.

Down!

Set!

Hut, hut!

Oh, c'mon, Kirby, you slow sack of shit!

You're as slow now as you were in college!

I can still outrun you!

That's bullshit.

Kirby, you're drunk.

No, no, no, I can outrun him.

C'mon, Granite, race me.

Or are you a pussy?

Ooooh...

Okay, okay.

Arliss: Gentlemen,

on your marks!

Get set!

Go!

The winner!

No, no, no, two out of three.

I had a cramp!

No way, the stadium stairs await you.

C'mon.

I gotta go lay down.

Arliss.

Yeah?

You see this spot?

This is the very same spot

I banged that cheerleader my senior year.

Yeah, what was his name?

Carl.

Carl!

Yeah.

Carl was cute.

My Carl?

Your Carl.

(loud burp)

Jesus, Arliss.

We're the national champions.

I mean, it just can't get any better than this, you know?

Really?

How 'bout the NFL?

Carmen Policy called again,

Why would I wanna leave?

I mean, these people, they love me here.

Have a couple of 6-and-5 seasons

and see much they love you.

Yeah, well, Sharon agrees with you on that.

"Sharon," who's Sharon?

Oh, no, not again,

not again.

Sharon is a great girl.

I have no doubt.

All of your wives were great girls.

No, this one is different.

We actually, believe it or not, sit and talk.

That would be different.

Arliss: Over the years, I've had very little turnover

in clients or staff.

Why?

I don't believe in micro-managing.

I don't keep a tight rein on people.

(Kirby vomits)

I believe in a hands-off approach.

I want each of you to wear one of these.

Beeper?

Yeah, this way I can find you 24 hours a day.

Does it do anything else?

You know, get sport scores,

weather?

Does it get sport scores?

No, it beeps

or vibrates.

(beeper vibrating)

Does it change color? That is hideous.

(phone ringing)

Hello.

Just one moment, please.

Carmen Policy.

Oh, thank you.

Ah-ah-ah, excusez moi.

Did you forget something?

Carmen!

How's the very model of a modern general manager?

Arliss, you're the best.

Is Granite interested

in becoming a Forty-Niner or isn't he?

Well, as a matter of fact, we spoke last night and I believe he is.

Well, personally, I'm not 100% sure he's the guy,

but Walsh thinks he is.

And you know what, Arliss? That's what counts.

However, I gotta tell you,

we have had feelers from other teams.

What other teams are you talking about, Arliss?

You're not talking to the evil empire, are you?

No, it wasn't Dallas.

It's not Kansas City either, is it?

Uh...

Those wannabes.

They've stolen three of our quarterbacks

in the last three years.

Well, then you better move fast.

Do you wanna set up a meeting?

I do.

But don't be playing any of your agent bullshit, Arliss.

I'm not gonna be leveraged

to help you get a better deal. Do you understand that?

Carmen, you wound me.

Would I do that?

Okay, well, when's good for you?

That's fine.

Thank you, bye.

Boss, can't we get one that gets sport scores?

Look, you've gotta cover for me tonight.

I've gotta go see Granite

and I'm supposed to have dinner with that golfer Carlos Cavalho.

No can do, Tuesday night meeting.

Oh, no, but he's flying in from Spain to meet me.

Don't blame me, blame the judge.

Biscotti?

Whatever you want the answer is no.

I need you to fill in for me tonight.

Oh, Stanley's due back today.

No, Stanley's due back tomorrow.

It's a new client, I need you to be the welcome wagon. Beverly Wilshire, 7 p.m.

No, Arliss Michaels' cardinal rule number one,

employees are not allowed to date the clients.

It's not a date, it's an assignment.

Oh, c'mon, it's only dinner.

The restaurant's at the hotel and it'll be quick. In and out.

I want the whole weekend off.

I'll give you Sunday.

Half day.

What kind of restaurant is this?

Waitress: Here you go, Diet Snapple.

Thank you.

Diet Snapple?

What happened to Glen?

Glen?

Fiddich.

(laughs) No, no,

Sharon is trying to get me off the alcohol,

knock off a few pounds.

She calls it a fresh start.

"A fresh start," huh?

Uh-huh. No alcohol, dieting.

Cut out cigars yet?

How pussy-whipped has this girl got you?

I love it, this happens every time

some great piece of ass comes into your life,

who is standing directly behind me.

Oh, God.

Baby, this is Arliss.

Hi, I'm Sharon.

Hi, I'm an asshole.

Exactly the way Granite described you.

Thank you for being so gracious, marry her.

I am.

At the end of this month.

And Arliss, I want you to be...

The best man.

I'm sorry, you'll have to excuse me,

I've been there before, and before.

Uh-huh. Yeah, you're nothing if not predictable.

You guys have so much history,

I will never catch up.

Well, then, here's a little present.

I spoke to Carmen Policy today,

he wants to set up a meeting.

Walsh thinks that you are the guy.

Honey, didn't you tell him?

What? Tell me what?

Uh, Arliss...

Oh, no, don't tell me you changed your mind.

Don't do this to me, man.

I don't wanna call Carmen Policy back like this.

It's my fault.

We were talking and I just realized

how much he loves it here.

Well, if that's what you want

I'm gonna have to get old "ruff-ruff" Earl Graymond

to tear up that contract of yours

and get you a brand new one

to coach the fighting hounds! How 'bout them hounds!

Great.

Thank you. It's this silly loyalty thing I have.

Hey, this calls for a celebration, waiter! Waiter!

A bottle of your best Diet Snapple!

Good evening, are you Carlos Cavalho?

I wish.

Oh.

But we don't need him.

Why don't you plop your pretty little ass down here

and have a drink with me?

No, I'm sorry. I don't drink.

- I don't. I don't drink. - Um...

I'm Carlos Cavalho.

You are Rita, señorita?

Yeah.

You... You would like a drink, yes?

Yes... Yes, please.

Absolut up, dry, two olives.

So, um,

exactly where is the south of Spain?

South of Spain?

Is, uh, south of the, uh, north of Spain.

Yes, of course.

There's such beauty.

The rich red dirt...

The hillsides are covered

with gorgeous olive trees.

Dark meaty olives

to crush for the oil.

Imagine,

olives in trees.

I'll tell you a secret.

I am the bastard son of Leon del Cavalho.

He is the greatest living matador in all of Spain.

A matador.

You mean bullfighter?

Yes.

Bullfighting is the key to my golf.

The grace...

The brutality...

The blood.

I don't think there's any blood in golf.

Oh, there is blood.

You just don't see it.

Oh.

When a matador is in the ring...

He's facing the bull...

His senses are heightened.

His power to smell

and to see

and to feel

what the bull is thinking.

Yes.

Yes, you hear,

you hear his hoofs thundering,

charging!

- Yes. - Yes, you hear.

Yes, yes.

Yes, you hear!

(beeper)

Oh, my God, it's Arliss.

Quiet. Don't say anything.

I'll be as quiet as a Mickey Mouse.

Arliss?

Rita, how'd it go with Carlos?

Um, good.

(beeper vibrating)

Good.

Quick, right? Like I said, in and out.

Uh-huh.

Good. Everything fine, Carlos happy?

Uh-huh.

Look, Rita,

I want you to know I appreciate this, and, um...

You can take all day Sunday off.

Oh.

Okay, okay, take the whole weekend.

Yeah, b-bye.

(vibrating)

Mr. Cavalho is here to see you.

Carlos, please forgive me for not being there last night.

Something came up.

Oh, do not apologize, something came up for me too.

Really? Well, I hope it was something Rita was able to handle.

As a matter of fact...

she handled it just perfectly.

Good, good, good!

C'mere.

Carlos, the first thing we need to do

is maximize your exposure in this country.

But I need to go to Europe to qualify

to defend for the Rider Cup team.

Forget the Rider Cup, been there, done that.

You need visibility here.

What are you doing?

I got a deal on a different beeper.

One that prints out scores and stuff.

I'll get you one, too.

No, mine's fine, thanks.

They come in different colors.

That's okay, but thanks.

Now, go.

Go!

Arliss: The key to sustaining long-term relationships:

Look the other person in the eye and tell the truth.

Arliss, hound to hound,

is Granite going to the NFL?

Arliss: Earl, hound to hound,

let me assure you that Granite has every intention

of honoring the last two years of his contract right here.

So, it's true.

Alright.

Here's a little something we put together

to make sure he stays put.

Carmen, what can I tell ya? Granite changed his mind.

What do you mean he changed his mind?

Damn it, Arliss, you told me he was coming!

I thought he was coming.

Arliss, Bill Walsh.

If you can make this happen

you'll be wearing your own Super Bowl ring.

Billy, Carmen,

I promise you I tried.

I mean, you know me, this is Arliss Michaels.

The working man's friend. We're still pals, right?

Listen, you son of a bitch,

I warned you about using us for leverage.

You got away with this once, now lose our number.

Forget it,

let's go out and I'll buy you lunch.

Sorry, I've got a plane to catch.

Where you going?

Kansas City.

8.5 million for ten years?

Tell you what, put the "eight" before the "years,"

the "ten" before the "million,"

guarantee the whole thing, and then at least we have a jumping-off point.

I can't guarantee the whole thing.

This is a university, we have a budget.

If this contract thing gets outta hand,

the library loses a wing.

Hey, let me ask you, how many games did your library win for you last year?

Besides, nobody reads books anymore, it's all cyberspace!

This is our best offer.

(phone ringing)

I'm sorry, excuse me.

Hello?

Carmen Policy, the San Francisco Forty-Niners?

Uh, put him through.

It's me, am I calling too soon?

Hi, Carmen, how are you?

Say hi to Earl Graymond. Wanna say hi?

Hi.

I'm sorry, what was that?

Um, you're interested in Granite Giles for your football coach?

Actually I'm very interested in having you blow me.

Uh, look this really isn't a good time. I'm in a meeting.

I'll tell you what, why don't I fly up and we'll do lunch?

Fine, great. We'll do lunch and then you'll blow me.

Always puts a smile on my face.

Blow me, blow me, blow me!

Oh, I like that, I really like that.

Okay, I'll guarantee the whole thing

as long as we're closed.

(barking)

So this is a good deal?

Good? It's the greatest deal in the history

of any college coach in America.

Eight years, 10 million dollars,

all guaranteed.

Ask him about the house!

No, no, no, no.

"House," what house?

It's my fault.

I thought if we are gonna stay here

it'd be good to find a new place to live.

You know, start fresh.

I wish you told me.

Granite: Arliss?

Hi, um, look, if there's gonna be a problem, let's...

No, it's not gonna be any problem.

I'll take care of it. Uh, later.

- He'll take care of it. - Yeah.

- Kiss? - Yeah.

Arliss: You can't buy a reputation. My word is my bond.

Earl,

there is just one more little thing.

Hey!

(beeper)

The beeper is working.

It sure is.

No, no, I mean it is beepening.

Oh, God, I gotta call Arliss.

Maybe I should talk to him.

No, Arliss is not to find out about this.

This is verboten.

He's a man, he will understand.

He's not a man, he's an agent.

Arliss?

Rita, do you know where I can find Carlos?

Why?

I got him a meeting with the Buick people tomorrow

for a possible deal.

Between you and me,

Tiger Woods would probably piss on it.

But, I think it's a helluva start.

I'll try his hotel.

Okay, just make sure he's at the office at 9 a.m. sharp.

Yeah, sure.

You have a meeting tomorrow.

Really.

Why don't you tell me about it...

as I reach down

and feel the soft, smooth...

"Silky interior made of Calvechia leather.

"Take a drive

"in the brand new Buick Barcelona

"and let it

seduce you."

Holy shit, he almost makes me pop a grizzy!

Sign him now!

What did I tell you?

Oh, congratulations, my friend!

You are the spokesman for the new Buick Barcelona!

Congratulations, Carlos.

For how much?

- $130,000 a year. - American.

What do you think?

I think it is shit!

I beg your pardon?

Carlos?

What kind of deal you make for me?

Because I'm not from your land?

What is this, good cop, bad cop?

Relax, I'll handle this, Carlos.

$130,000.

If Tiger Woods would piss on it, then I will shit on it!

We had a deal, Arliss, we had a deal!

And finally on page 97,

the see-through body stocking.

Good, now, how much to Fed-Ex every... Thanks.

Rita!

It's not what you think.

Arliss: Rita!

Stairs!

I was just doing my job,

you told me it was an assignment.

Cardinal rule number one, no screwing the clients.

Do you know why?

Because by screwing them you're screwing me!

Because of you

I was made to look like a fool in there!

I'm gonna have to scramble now to keep this deal together!

I'm sorry, it won't happen again.

Oh, you bet it won't!

You tell Zorro you're not seeing him anymore!

- What? - It is over.

You know, I don't know if I'm gonna do that!

Oh, yes, you are.

You see, he brings in $400,000 a year.

You cost 50, do the math.

No, Arliss, I am not breaking it off with him!

You're just gonna have to fire me!

Is the sex that good?

Maybe I should fuck him.

I'll give you a week to think about it.

Arliss: Long-term relationships,

nothing is more sacred.

(applause)

That was a nice service, Reverend.

Meant every goddamn word.

That's great. Hey, I'm paying for these.

So keep track of all of 'em, nobody gets any doubles.

Kirby, have you seen Carlos?

Oh, Rita, have you met Danielle?

She's a physical therapist.

Arliss: So here's the game plan,

we start with the Altoids Open in Manchester

and then combo it with the Palermo-Skins game.

Rita, Arliss thinks I should go to Europe for four months.

Yeah, it's important he get back to Europe to qualify

for that Rider Cup team.

Oh, really?

Isn't she beautiful?

Oh, she is something, yes?

Mm. This has no muscle.

Can I get you a drink, my sweet?

No.

Sure?

Mm-hmm.

Excuse me.

Nice ceremony, huh?

Nice try, Arliss.

Sorry, what?

Carlos gone for four months?

And of course we'd be a continent apart.

It never even dawned on me. Oh, come on.

Yeah, but we won't be

because he's asked me to go on tour with him.

I've always wanted to spend more time in Europe.

Oh, Rita, come to your senses.

He's an athlete, you know you can't trust them.

And he's European, you really know you can't trust them.

Arliss, I'm a big girl, okay?

I'm not saying that this is the guy

but I'm not saying that it's not.

Rita, you can't go to Spain, the water sucks there.

I spent half the '92 Olympics in a Pisuar.

I don't have to leave, you know.

You could drop him as a client.

You guys can talk later.

Arliss, it's time for your toast.

Crowd: Toast, toast, toast,

toast, toast, toast...!

(chanting continues)

For this guy?

Ow, wow, I started managing Granite's affairs

back in college.

First there was the redhead from Phi Mu...

Anyway...

I hope... I'm sorry, I know,

that Granite and Sharon

have what it takes

to be loyal companions for life.

Friendship.

More valuable than awards,

trophies,

championships.

Friendship.

I wish you all the best.

To the bride and groom!

All: To the bride and groom!

How 'bout them hounds?!

(crowd barking)

(barking)

Arliss, that was beautiful, thank you.

Congratulations.

And nothing.

Ah! Arliss, Arliss, you are my brother.

I love you, too.

Which makes this damn tough to tell you.

Tell me what?

Wha... Oh, no. Oh, no.

No, no. You haven't changed your minds again.

Tell me you haven't changed your minds again.

- Yeah. - It's my fault.

Granite and I talked it over

and we've decided that maybe it's best to start fresh

and go ahead with the San Francisco offer.

(groans) I gotta call back Carmen Policy.

He is gonna make me eat shit.

Well, there's one other thing.

- What? - Sharon: Honey?

Arliss,

we've decided to

have Mike Armstrong...

do the deal.

What?

We've decided to have Mike Armstrong represent us.

What are you talking about?

It's my fault.

It's just that with you two being such close friends,

maybe it's better to start fresh...

Excuse me, I'm talking to him.

The man who just called me his brother.

Arliss, let's not make this any harder than it is.

Bullshit, I'm gonna make this just as hard

as I possibly can.

Oh, right, that's you, isn't it? I mean, that's you!

C'mon, honey, it's time to go.

Yeah, honey, it's time to go.

Yeah.

Granite Giles, you are a scumbag!

Arliss would do anything for you,

has done everything for you

and this is how you express your gratitude?

You're a hound-dog dick-head.

Excuse me, maybe this is none of my business...

Oh, no, I have a feeling this is all your business.

Shame on you.

All complimentary drinks are over,

it's cash bar now.

Hell, I need a drink.

You also need a new coach.

What?

Carlos: Oh, yes.

(Carlos moaning)

Yes. Oh, yes.

Hey, hey, hey. Where are you going?

I paid for three hours, you play for three hours.

Comprende? Okay.

Oh, Rita, have you seen Danielle?

Arliss: I've come to a point in my career

where I feel I've seen it all.

Nothing really surprises me anymore,

nothing.

I once had a client leave me after 22 years.

("You Don't Have to Say You Love Me" playing on speakers)

Where's Carlos?

Gone to Palermo, I guess.

You're not going?

Nope.

How come?

I hear the water's bad there.

(whispering) Sorry.

How you feeling?

Shitty.

How 'bout you?

Shitty.

You wanna dance?

Let me lead?

Yeah.

Arliss: Loyalty is more than a watchword for me,

it is a way of life.

Those who are close to you,

you must try to keep close forever.

Arliss, would you really have fired me?

- Absolutely. - (Rita laughing)

♪ You don't have to say you love me ♪

Arliss: My name is Arliss Michaels.

I represent athletes.

These are my stories.

♪ Believe me, believe me ♪

♪ I can't help but love you ♪

♪ But believe me ♪

♪ I'll never tie you down... ♪

♪ Left alone ♪

♪ With just a memory ♪

♪ Life seems dead ♪

♪ And so unreal... ♪

♪ All that's left ♪

♪ Is loneliness ♪

♪ There's nothing ♪

♪ Left to feel... ♪

♪ You don't have to say you love me ♪

♪ Just be close at hand ♪

♪ You don't have to stay forever ♪

♪ I will understand ♪

♪ Believe me ♪

♪ Believe me You don't have to say... ♪