Original subtitles

(dramatic music plays)

Arliss: For most of us,

the dream of becoming a champion

remains a fantasy.

But for a special few,

it is very much a reality.

We cheer them.

We live through them.

Athletes are our last warriors.

My job is to make their dreams come true.

My name is Arliss Michaels.

I represent athletes.

These are my stories.

♪ I don't know what it is that makes me love you so ♪

♪ I only know I never wanna let you go ♪

♪ 'Cause you started something, oh, can't you see ♪

♪ That ever since we met you had a hold on me? ♪

♪ It happens to be true ♪

♪ I only wanna be with you ♪

♪ I just wanna be beside you everywhere ♪

♪ As long as we're together, honey, I don't care ♪

♪ 'Cause you started something, oh, can't you see ♪

♪ That ever since we met you had a hold on me? ♪

♪ No matter what you do ♪

♪ I only wanna be with you ♪

(shooting)

♪ I just wanna be beside you... ♪

Arliss: Sometimes we lose sight of the fact

that many world-class athletes

- are mere teenagers. - (man shouting)

Arliss: Unfortunately, many are managed by people

who do not necessarily have their best interests at heart.

One hand! Not two hand!

- (Anya grunting) - Anya, you play like shit! Play harder!

Harder, I say! Concentrate! Shit!

J.J.: He's very demanding.

He's demonic.

I promised you'd meet with him.

You brought me here to meet

with a lunatic father of a 15-year-old?

18-year-old.

Excuse me, 18-year-old.

Hey, dollface, I'm doing you the favor.

I've been a publicist for too many years not to know talent!

(grunts)

What's she ranked?

186th and climbing.

186th? Oh, tell the truth.

You've got a thing for old Rasputin here, don't you?

This girl can be marketed!

She captures the teenage girl of the '90s with old-world values.

She's Gabriela Sabatini meets Alicia Silverstone.

- She's... - 186th.

I promised you'd meet with him.

J.J., we go back a long time together.

When you wanted to spend the night in the Olympic Village

- with that gymnast... - You supplied the apparatus.

When Dennis Rodman wrote that chapter about you in his book...

You had it edited out.

But for me to represent a client who is ranked 186th

because you wanna check out the father's inseam, that's crossing the line.

Meet with him, or I'll drop a dime

that Albert Bell is cheating on his wife.

Albert isn't even married.

Details, honey, details.

♪ ♪

(clattering)

Who are they?

That's her entourage.

Dietician, housekeeper, trainer.

Grandmother, cousin, uncle.

Oh, Vassily won't let anyone outside the family work with her.

You'll be the first.

Socks. (laughs)

Socks! Huh?

(both laugh)

Socks!

What sucks?

Oh, he has a thing about socks, sport socks.

Apparently you can't get them in Latvia.

I guess that sock embargo really took effect.

(whistle tweets)

Stop! Your work is shit!

Swim now, 100 laps! Go!

(clatters)

- Uh-oh, he's coming towards us. - Oh!

Follow!

Arliss: As a favor to my friend, J.J. Shelton,

I happily took a lunch with Vasily Slovachek.

Vasily Slovachek, Arliss Michaels.

- Ahh... - Nice to meet you.

- Ha! - (yelps)

(laughter)

Weak! No arm strength.

Here, feel this arm.

This arm killed two soldiers in order to escape.

Mmm! Oh, nice!

So, J.J. tells me you're from Romania.

- J.J.: Latvia. - Latvia.

So, how is Latvia these days?

Where is Latvia these days? (grunts)

You must not corrupt my daughter.

Corrupt your daughter?

Her game.

- You must not corrupt her game. - (choking)

One stroke, one word, I kill you.

I cut your ears off and feed 'em to my dog.

I pluck the hairs from your nose,

and I floss my teeth with it.

I sew up your ass so you shit through your ear!

Arliss: Vasily laid down his ground rules,

- some of which seemed a tad unrealistic. - (neck cracks)

Vasily is concerned that you don't try to influence her tennis.

I grasp the concept.

Look, Vasily, I'll be honest with you.

The only reason I'm here is because J.J. thinks your daughter has some potential.

(laughs) Potential! Fuck potential!

I want sponsors. You get sponsors.

- I want million-dollar shoe deal. - Shoe deal!

- I want million-dollar cosmetic deal. - Cosmetics!

I want million-dollar clothes deal.

- Clothes deal! - Yeah!

Listen, Vas, I don't think this is gonna work out.

Your daughter is ranked 186th.

Anya: Finished Papa.

♪ ♪

Anya, this is Arlish Mickels, your new agent.

(panting) It's nice to meet you.

I've heard much about you.

Arliss: A good agent remains open-minded.

I've heard much about you also.

He has no arm. Feel.

♪ ♪

Anya, go get dressed.

Nice to have met you, Arlish.

♪ ♪

Nice to have met you also.

I want patch deal to wear on sleeve.

Arliss: I don't exactly recall what made me reconsider

♪ ♪

Vasily: I want Pepsi deal to wear on hat.

Uncle: Pepsi deal!

I want her to look

- like fucking Indy race car! - (door opens, closes)

Fucking Indy race car!

(traffic sounds)

So, what do you think?

Too intimidating.

I call them my Zo Wear.

That's when people put 'em on, and they say,

- "Zo, where you going, good looking?" - (laughs)

Like that?

Rita: That's a good one.

Arliss, what do you think?

Arliss.

- What? - Alonzo would like to know

Which pair of Zo Wear do you care for?

Yeah, it works for me.

Man, I gotta run.

Look, I'll be back on Wednesday with the money people.

- Arliss my man, make it happen. - You got it, Zo.

- Thanks, man. - Take it easy.

Good guy.

Rita: Arliss?

What?

Come down from Jupiter or whatever planet you're on.

What are you talking about?

It's like you've been on a space shuttle all day.

I ask you a question, you answer me a day later.

You're nuts.

Oh, by the way, you gotta remind Alonzo

he's gonna have to take care of that eyewear thing pretty soon.

Now, is there anything else?

Nothing, except on Wednesday you have a conference call with Joe Carter

and a meeting with the Wosabe brothers.

Who?

The Wosabe brothers,

only the biggest sumo wrestlers in the world.

They're coming in from Japan.

You do want to represent their American tour, don't you?

Sure, sure, Right. Wosabe. When are they coming?

Arliss: Staying focused is the cornerstone of success.

Arliss always says, "Minimize distractions,

and you'll be ready for whatever pops up."

(engine starts)

- (chuckles) - Oh!

Hi.

I like your car. It's awesome!

- Anya, what are you doing here? - Never mind.

Don't stop! Go!

No, Anya, this is not proper.

Let's get something to eat. I'm starve!

Anya.

Can I ask you...

something... personal?

Are you wearing contact lenses?

Or is that the real color of your eyes?

Oh no, they're my real eyes.

My real color eyes.

You have beautiful eyes.

(sighs) You must be a beautiful man.

What do you feel like eating? French? Italian?

Mmm.

Mexican? Indian? Thai?

♪ ♪

You know, you're supposed to microwave these things.

Take a bite.

- (laughing) - Oh.

Oh, this is pure poison.

You have ketchup on your face!

Mmm. Tastes good, Mr. Agent.

Mr. Secret Agent Double-O Seven.

(slurping)

Oh! You are not gonna eat that stuff straight, are you?

♪ ♪

Come.

Anya, this is absurd.

(clatters)

Anya, I don't think your father would approve.

My father is very drunk and very asleep.

Yeah, but still...

Up or down?

I beg your pardon?

Up or down, pick one!

Up.

Down. I'm on top.

Does "I'm on top" mean you win?

It means I'm on top.

♪ ♪

Lie down.

♪ Is it worth... ♪

(whirs, firing)

Arliss: As I said before, young people need

responsible adults to provide guidance.

(sighs)

Arliss: After all, life is about responsibility,

not about fluff.

♪ To that place where we once used to go ♪

I decided not to think about the father,

and J.J. was absolutely right.

She was gifted.

♪ To ourselves that all this trouble ♪

♪ Was not in vain ♪

(firing rapidly)

♪ You're waiting there ♪

♪ As if no one cares, how do you sleep... ♪

Tell me, Arlishky,

what sponsors will you get for me?

Sponsors? Oh, sponsors.

Uh, what do you want?

I want Dweezil Zappa.

He's so deep.

Oh, fine, fine. We'll give Dweez a call in the morning.

Cool.

- (kissing) - (moans)

♪ Tell me right now what you so freely... ♪

I've decided to have AMM represent Anya Slovachek.

Who?

Anya Slovachek. She's a prodigy.

She's a computer game?

A tennis prodigy.

What is she, like 15?

(quickly) Eighteen.

Ooh, sorry.

Look, Kirby,

call IMG and ProServ. I want a list

of every sponsor for every tennis player they represent.

Rita, I want you to find out what companies have Latvian ties.

Oh, and find out who represents Dweezil Zappa.

Dweezil Zappa?

- Uh-huh. - Look, Boss, all these meetings...

I mean, what's she ranked?

186th... and climbing!

(chuckles) 186th?

Also, isn't her father supposed to be a tyrant?

No, no, no, no, I've met with the father.

He's much more reasonable than that. Good guy.

186th?

That's perfect.

(both laugh)

Perfect? Perfect?

You want perfection?

Let me ask you: "Just what is perfection?"

I'll tell you about perfection.

In 1959, Harvey Haddix of the Pittsburgh Pirates

once pitched 12 perfect innings in a baseball game.

12 innings! That's 36 up, 36 down.

That's a perfect game and a third of another perfect game!

Do you know what happened?

He gave up one hit in the 13th and lost one to nothing!

So afterwards, a reporter asked him, "Is that the best game you ever pitched?"

he looked the guy straight in the eye and said,

"That's the best fucking game anyone's ever pitched!"

So don't talk about perfection to me!

Okay? Okay. So, uh, meeting adjourned.

Let's go. Let's go. (claps hands)

Good ideas, huh? Good idea. Go get 'em, Kirby.

Rita.

Do you think I would look good in an earring?

You know, do you think an earring might make me look more youthful?

- (groans) - Arliss: Over the next 48 hours,

We put together a game plan covering all aspects of Anya's talents.

I'm telling you, you don't want to miss the boat on this girl.

She's Sabatini meets Silverstone.

The girl next door who knows how to play the net.

She's...

Ranked 186th.

For now, but she's climbing.

And I'm telling you, I got feelings about this girl.

When I get feelings, things happen.

Do you know I bought Microsoft at four,

Blockbuster at eight, Starbucks...

I got the same feelings about this girl, I'm telling you.

Can he get back to you? Okay, great, thank you.

Arliss Michaels' office.

Yeah, Rita, this is Joe.

Let me speak to Arliss, okay?

Look, I've been trying to get in touch with him for the longest.

I'm sick and tired of it. He won't return my calls.

I tell you what. Have him call me back here in the next 10 minutes

and if he doesn't call back, he will no longer represent

Joe Carter ever again. Is that understood?

Absolutely. Absolutely. Thank you very much, Joe.

(clicks, clatters)

Where the fuck is he?

We could be talking to any sporting goods company in the country,

but we're talking to you. This girl will do for Wilson

what Cosby does for Jell-O!

Does she have what it takes to win?

Does a beaver have a flat dick?

Now trust me, I'm putting everything I've got behind this girl!

I know you see this as a great insult,

but I assure you, it is not personal.

(speaking Japanese)

I'm sure he'll be here any minute. Any second even.

One Mississippi...

Two Mississippi...

Three Mississippi...

Four Mississippi...

The face, the body,

she's the complete package your cosmetics line cries for.

She will be the Christine Valmy girl of the 21st century.

Arliss, we see your passion,

but in order for this to work,

this girl's got to win a match.

You make her sound like perfection itself.

Perfection? Let me tell you something about perfection.

I can't believe he's standing me up.

I guess he doesn't have time for me anymore.

I'm sorry, Zo.

- I... I don't know what's keeping him. - (phone rings)

Arliss Michaels' office.

Rita! Any messages?

Where the hell are you? Everyone is waiting here.

Okay, okay, tell 'em I'm sorry. I'll be there in two minutes.

- He'll be here in two minutes. - He better be.

Hurry up.

Okay, I'm pulling into the lot now.

- (phone beeps) - Arliss on phone: Rita, hold.

Hello?

Anya on phone: Arlishky, I'm naked. I need you.

I'm sorry, but that's...

Anya: I'm touching myself.

- Fine. I have nothing scheduled. - (phone beeps)

Arliss on phone: Uh, Rita, forget what I said.

(tires screech)

Oh yeah!

♪ ♪

(sighs) Coffee?

I just made some fresh.

Fresh coffee. Would you like some, Zo?

(sumos growl)

(Anya moaning)

(moaning)

Arliss: After nonstop pitching, I made two-year deals

with Valmy, Wilson, and Nike.

Quite a coup, considering her ranking.

Two year deal is good,

but isn't five better?

- (moaning) - The fact is, we have no leverage.

You haven't been in a tournament yet.

As soon as you beat a top-ranked opponent,

a $250,000 bonus automatically kicks in.

Oh. (whimpers)

I don't know if Father will think that's enough.

Um, Anya, not to belittle your homeland,

but it's not like you're from Paris.

Latvia isn't exactly a major market.

(panting)

(rock music plays)

Oh, listen, it sounds like The Doors.

The Doors? (chuckles)

I'm surprised you know The Doors.

Of course I know who The Doors are.

They did all the soundtracks for the Vietnam War.

Of course they did.

♪ ♪

What are you doing?

Father won't let me use two hands,

but for you, I try out my special grip.

(spits)

♪ ♪

Wa... wait!

Are you sure we're doing the right thing?

Remember what I told you.

"Don't sweat the petty things.

Pet the sweaty things."

(moans)

(whimpers)

Ohh...!

- ♪ ♪ - (vacuum whirring)

Arliss: Over the next few weeks, I found myself

thinking more and more and more about Anya.

Charming, yet childlike.

Worldly, yet innocent.

I continued to observe her closely.

- Caught you! - What? Vasily, no, no! It's not what you think!

No, no, here, here, the schedule.

What?

You have Anya entering

the Coral Manhattan Beach Tournament starting August the 12th.

For which she will receive a $20,000 guarantee

just for appearing, I might add.

Yes, but you also schedule exhibition in Philadelphia August the 13th!

For which she will receive an additional $20,000!

Yes, but how can she play in tournament first day and be in Philadelphia next?

You can't be in two places at the same time!

I caught you.

(chuckles) Good point.

Uh, John?

Yeah. One more lob to me.

(grunts) Yeah, work on that one.

John, would you mind explaining that piece

of tennis tradition we talked about?

Yeah, sure. Hello.

Sometime during your opening round match,

you make a real quick move to your right or left,

(grunts) you grab your hamstring...

(grunts) you limp around

like it really hurts.

You throw down your racket like you're real upset,

just walk off the court. Simple as that.

With $40,000 I may add.

After all, Anya did make an appearance.

You mean quit the match?

In professional tennis, we call that "tanking."

Yeah, that's when you see all these players have back spasms,

they can't walk, and then the next day, they make a miraculous recovery.

You mean pretend that you're hurt

in order to collect the money and then leave?

Uh, in a manner of speaking.

Well, that's good policy. What else?

Anya, come here.

Let me tell you what happens when an umpire makes a bad call.

We're gonna have fun with this.

(growling)

What's the matter, Vasily? Too much vodka?

Too much monkey business.

Somebody is corrupting my daughter.

♪ ♪

Her game?

Her pussy.

- Her...? - Pussy. Pussy.

You speaks English? No wonder you're shit for an agent.

Well, Vasily, I'm shocked.

Do you know who?

No, but I will.

And when I find him, I'm gonna cut off his arms and shove it up his ass.

I'm gonna cut off his balls and use it for martini olives.

I'm gonna cut off his throat, and I'm gonna make his ears pop out.

Yeah, sure. Keep looking.

- Yes. Yes. - Keep looking. I'll help you.

♪ ♪

Hi, I'm Bud Collins at the Desert Classic with Tracy Austin,

former US Open champion, and, Tracy, today we have a teenage phenom...

Anya Slovachek from Riga, Latvia,

186 in the world, and what an opportunity!

She's playing against the number eight,

Hanika Schlamika, from the Czech Republic.

I tell you, this is a great debut for her,

because there is so much media here

to watch her play her first match in the pros.

Arliss: Anya's first match would be a tough one,

but if she could somehow win,

all of her performance bonuses

would automatically kick in.

Bud: Here she is!

Slovachek ready to receive from Schlamika.

(grunts)

(Bud grunts) Ace!

Fifteen-love.

(applause)

Tracy: When you have that feeling, when you're nervous,

all your family's there, everybody's watching how you're playing.

Anya, what shit! This is bullshit!

(grunts)

(yells)

- Bud: Well, her backhand is just falling apart, Tracy. - Thirty-love.

- (applause) - Tracy: Anya's just looking really outclassed out here.

Anya, that's bullshit! Complete bullshit!

Tracy: And her dad going crazy. I tell you, Bud,

we don't need any more crazy dads on the women's tennis tour.

- Bud: Is that her old man? Another charming tennis dad. - (woman yelps)

Hey! Go! Go, Anya!

Hanika, you shit!

Will you tell this man to shut up?

Oh, screw you, Hanika! Slut!

Bud: Slovachek, ready to receive from Schlamika.

- Forty-love. - (applause)

Arliss: Anya had made a noble effort,

but looked to be outclassed.

However, suddenly she made an adjustment.

Something she'd only worked on in private.

(spits)

Wh... what is this? What... what is this?

- (grunts) - Bud: Ooh! Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

What do you mean, one-handed backhand?

Tracy: That's right. She's changed to a two-handed backhand.

- Hey, that's a smart cookie. - Wha... what is...

Anya, what is the two hands there? Anya!

Bud: Well, the two-hander's working pretty well, though, Tracy.

Tracy: Definitely. Looks terrific.

Great technique on that two-handed backhand.

- Vasily: Not two hands! - Go! Go, Anya! Go, Anya!

Tracy: Turns really well, steps into it.

What is that? Why two hands?

Bud: Short lob on set point.

Schlamika should put it away.

Tracy: Reaches up, snaps the wrist,

Bud: What's wrong?

Tracy: Something's wrong with Hanika Schlamika.

♪ ♪

Tracy: No, Bud, it looks like she pulled a hamstring.

It's pretty tough to pull a hamstring on an overhead.

Hanika: Sorry, I can't play.

Miss Schlamika cannot continue due to injury.

- Game, set, and match to Miss Slovachek. - Yes! (screaming)

(Arliss shouts)

(cheers, applause)

- (mouthing) - Arliss: It was a magical moment.

In a grueling marathon battle,

Anya had outlasted her opponent.

I knew her father would be ecstatic.

(mumbles)

Anya! Anya! Anya! Anya! (laughs)

(cameras clicking rapidly)

Vasily, what did I tell ya?

You. You corrupted her game!

What are you talking about?

She never used her two hands till she met you!

You fuckhead agent! I'll kill you!

(choking)

Vasily!

Arliss: The man was certifiable.

I terminated all dealings with him at that moment.

You're fired! You ever come near Anya again,

I'll kill you!

Wow. (hoarsely gasps)

Sorry, Arlishky. Thank you for everything.

I never forget you.

(hoarsely) I'll never... (groaning)

Arliss: Although I was glad to be rid of the father,

I wondered what would happen to poor Anya.

Congratulations, Anya.

Thank you, Dweezil.

Arliss: She was so helpless, so fragile.

♪ ♪

Sometimes in the evening,

when I'm alone, meditating,

I find myself imagining

what might have been.

Anya's voice: Arlishky.

♪ But she'll never change... ♪

Arliss: My name is Arliss Michaels.

I represent athletes.

These are my stories.

♪ She's gonna be young forever ♪

♪ Somewhere in my heart ♪

♪ Somewhere in my heart ♪

♪ I've made so many mistakes ♪

♪ I tried to say, "Sorry" ♪

♪ But was always too late ♪

♪ Oh, so in my own way ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Left the teary-eyed woman ♪

♪ And the laughs were his fate ♪

♪ She's gonna be young forever ♪

♪ And we will not ♪

♪ Forget her ♪

♪ Yeah, she's gonna be young ♪

♪ Forever ♪

♪ Somewhere in my heart ♪

♪ I wish I remember ♪

♪ I wish I remember more ♪