Original subtitles

Arliss: For most of us,

the dream of becoming a champion

remains a fantasy.

But for a special few,

it is very much a reality.

We cheer them.

We live through them.

Athletes are our last warriors.

My job is to make their dreams come true.

My name is Arliss Michaels.

I represent athletes.

These are my stories.

♪ Don't know what it is that makes me love you so ♪

♪ I only know I never wanna let you go ♪

♪ 'Cause you started something, oh, can't you see ♪

♪ That ever since we met you had a hold on me ♪

♪ It happens to be true ♪

♪ I only wanna be with you ♪

♪ I just wanna be beside you everywhere ♪

♪ As long as we're together, honey, I don't care ♪

♪ 'Cause you started something, oh, can't you see ♪

♪ That ever since we met you had a hold on me ♪

♪ No matter what you do ♪

♪ I only wanna be with you ♪

Sports announcer: Here comes Fondeaux on a breakaway.

He shoots! He scores!

Guy Fondeaux with his 63rd goal of the year!

I never should have traded him.

What was I thinking?

What was I drinking?

Waiter: One double Tanqueray with a twist?

Honey, find out where the food is.

I'm so hungry I'm farting fresh air.

You know, Guy is a free agent.

Oh, I can't afford him, Arliss.

That's why I dumped his salary.

This is L.A. I've got zero luxury boxes.

Someone needs to buy me a new arena.

I'm hearing a sound. A very strange sound.

Is it the sound of a moving van?

It's about time. I thought your Wonder Bra had a blowout.

Mmmm. This WASP Dining Club food is really terrific.

How would you like to join the club, Arliss?

Oh, I don't think I'd fit into this club.

Not this club. A special club.

Ownership.

Ownership?

Ten percent of my hockey franchise?

And all you've got to do for it is to find a city

that will provide me with a comfortable home.

It is intriguing.

I'm sure I could find a few eligible cities

that would be very interested.

I am so glad we are finally on the same team,

Mr. Future President of the Kings.

But not one word of this is to get out.

No one is to know what we're doing.

Especially this dipshit.

Councilman Colsen.

Flora. Hey, it's too bad

about the team's losing streak.

Oh, well, it's not for lack of trying.

My boys leave it on the ice every night.

Any movement on the new arena feasibility study?

(sighs) No, I'm sorry.

We've been so tied up with this impending teachers' strike, you know?

Oh, of course, darling, of course.

The kids come first.

Right, right.

Enjoy your dinner.

Same to you.

What does he give a shit about those little snots for?

They don't vote.

Arliss? I want you to run with this.

You have my permission to make a deal.

But... keep this very hush, hush.

You know, no one loves the fans more than I do.

But unfortunately, this is not about the fans.

It's not about wins and losses.

It's about P.S.L.'s.

P.S.L.'s?

Personal Seat Licenses.

One of the great pieces of larceny of the 1990s.

Flora Lansing. Not an unattractive woman,

in a cosmetically altered sort of way.

Here's how they work.

Get a city to build your new arena,

and charge prospective season ticket holders

10 grand apiece just for the right to buy season tickets!

(laughs) Boy, I wish I'd thought of that.

Good morning, all.

Boss, are you sure you wanna be an owner?

I mean, then you'll be a buyer and a seller.

How are you gonna do both?

Conflict of interest. You can't own a team and represent the players.

League rules. Well, we'll just divest ourselves

of all our hockey clients.

Even Fondeaux? He's a free agent.

We'd be losing five percent commission on a possible $20 million deal.

Not if I can sign him to a new team before we close on moving the franchise.

W... W... Wait... Wait...

so you have your cake, you eat it, you move it.

Ten percent of a franchise will be worth more

than all of our hockey commissions combined.

Rita: This isn't about money, Arliss. It's about ego.

That is absolutely... not untrue.

However, mostly, it's about taking AMM to the next level.

Making us a real player.

Like Mike Ovitz, bringing together M.C.A. and Matsushita.

Exactly, we can run tennis tours, superstar competitions...

Skins' games. It's where it's all going now.

Vertical integration.

What about the fans?

Yeah, boss, what about the fans?

I don't wanna be a party

to ripping out another franchise out of this city.

You know, the Raiders, the Rams...

Don't think of it that way.

Think of bringing hockey to new fans in new cities.

Think of yourselves as missionaries.

And think of the fans in the missionary position.

We've already narrowed down the candidates to three cities.

So... where to first, padre?

Raleigh-Durham, North Carolina.

Raleigh-Durham was chosen by Lifestyles Magazine

as the fourth most desirable city in the U.S. in which to live.

- (heavy coughing) - We have it all.

- (coughing continues) - Affordable housing, good schools...

(Southern accent) Clean air.

(coughing continues)

Perfectly lovely.

But if all this were about pretty towns,

the Kings would move to Aspen.

Mrs. Lansing needs to know why uprooting from a megalopolis

like Los Angeles to a secondary market, like, Raleigh,

would be advantageous.

Let me show you boys somethin'.

(clears throat)

(coughs)

This here is the Blue Devil Valley,

one of the most aesthetically beautiful areas

in all the Carolinas.

It's breathtaking.

Here's where we're gonna put your arena.

Ohh...

And you can guarantee that this facility

will be completed within the year?

Absolutely. This is a right-to-work state.

None of this union bullshit.

One guy doesn't get the job done, we haul his ass out,

and bring another guy in who can do it.

Smoke?

(muffled grunt)

No... thank you.

(Kirby pounding on table)

Uh, excuse me.

You strike me as a creative man.

Why don't you and I sit down

over some dinner and... and talk, huh?

(violent coughing)

(coughing continues)

(Kirby spitting)

(coughing and spitting continues)

I'm tellin' you, the only place for the Kings is...

Las Vegas, Nevada.

Arliss: No place like it.

Arliss: But are you sure you can support a hockey team?

There's a lot to do here!

I assure you Mrs. Lansing will like doing business here, Arliss.

If a casino owner wants to erect a 1,000-foot tower,

we change the building height requirements.

If airline pilots complain of lasers flashing in their eyes

from modern day pyramids,

we alter flight patterns.

In Las Vegas, business comes first.

(quietly) And taste comes second.

Now, no matter what you've heard,

I assure you Las Vegas is still a family town.

Help yourself.

Cigarette? No. No, thank you, no.

Arliss: I'm sure Mrs. Lansing is going to be thrilled

with this whole family concept thing,

but it still comes down to hard figures.

Stanley?

Stanley?

I'm sorry. What?

Do you have the figures?

Forget the figures. No other town can give you what I can.

I guarantee it.

If you'll indulge me, I'll show you what I mean.

Lights!

(disco music playing)

Announcer's voice: Anthony Ferullo's Diamond Wheel Casino

presents... the Anthony Ferullo Arena!

Home of the Las Vegas Diamond Kings!

I've died and gone to Kirbyland!

The Diamond King Arena will sit atop the Diamond King Hotel and Casino.

It'll seat 17-5 and rotate at about 20 feet per minute

around the ice. Never a bad seat... for more than few minutes!

I was wrong when I said that Las Vegas was tacky.

It's beyond tacky. It's the derivative root. It's the tack.

Of course, we'll have to knock down the MGM Grand.

But that's old Las Vegas.

I'm telling you, the only place for the Kings is...

Mexico City.

(guitars playing)

Salud!

(glasses clink)

You have outdone yourself, El Alcalde.

Well, it's not very often that we're in the presence of Kings.

Yeah... uh... very good.

Presence of Kings. I like that.

You know, when they put the major leagues and NBA into Canada,

I said, "Hey, what about our neighbors to the south?"

I can't tell you how grateful we are

to finally hear an American say that.

We too have wondered why the professional sports

haven't tried to make a go of it here.

I think ice hockey will do it.

Hockey in Mexico, please. (laughs)

(laughs) Rita...

People laugh. But please, give us a little credit.

Remember, they laughed at baseball in Montreal.

I'm still laughing at baseball in Montreal.

(chuckles) Rita...

So sorry, I... too many margaritas makes me

a little loco in the cabeza. (laughs)

Ahh, you speak Spanish.

(guitar music continues)

(speaking Spanish)

I've been going over your proposal.

Most impressive.

Although I'm a little fuzzy

how you're going to fund this new venture.

Allow me to show you.

(speaking Spanish)

(speaking Spanish)

(speaking Spanish)

(guitar music continues)

El Alcalde: And now, Mr. Arliss, for the best of all,

behold the luxury box of the Aztec Kings.

(trumpet music playing)

Most impressive!

The selling of these luxurious boxes

will generate tens and tens of millions of dollars.

Ole! (chuckles)

However, Mr. Arliss, we don't wanna be

some pawn that you will use to get a higher price

from another city.

A pawn? Senor Alcalde, absolutely not.

However, hockey in Mexico will only be a reality if you make it so.

(chuckles)

Salud.

Arliss: Keeping professional hockey n Los Angeles became priority one.

Every member of the AMM team was focused on the same goal.

Tuned to the same wavelength.

In the words of Baba Ram Dass,

when everyone is pulling in the same direction,

momentum is achieved.

As for myself, I maintained a low profile.

Working diligently behind the scenes, strategizing my next move.

Hey, Arliss, man, thanks for hookin' me up with the summer league.

It's a great chance for me to know L.A.

Oh, my pleasure, Kobe. Kobe, help me out.

How do you say, "My client wants to renegotiate" in Italian?

(speaking Italian)

That's very romantic.

Say, Arliss, got a moment?

Always a moment for the media.

Jim Hill, meet Kobe Bryant, the youngest player in the N.B.A.

and the richest 17-year-old with a summer job.

Nice to meet you, welcome to L.A., but, uh, can I ask you a question?

Me? Sure, go ahead.

Is it true that you're spearheading the effort

to move professional hockey out of Los Angeles?

Because rumors are circulating you've been visiting cities

that are making proposals.

That is absolutely outrageous. That is just an out-and-out lie.

Kobe, (speaking Italian)

(speaking Italian)

If that's so, then what were you doing

in Raleigh-Durham, North Carolina?

I have a friend who's a pitching coach for the Durham Bulls.

I was checking out prospects.

You were also spotted in Las Vegas.

I do a lot of business in Las Vegas.

Besides, I'm a big Rita Rudner fan.

Kobe, (speaking Italian) Rita Rudner?

(speaking Italian)

- (both laughing) - Right, right. Very funny, very funny,

But Arliss, answer me this. Can you explain

what in the world you were doing in Mexico City?

My nephew wants to be a bullfighter.

I was checking out schools.

Look, Jim, don't you dare make me out to be the villain here.

I will do everything in my power to keep hockey in Los Angeles.

Benissimo!

This city can't afford losing another franchise.

Fortissimo!

And I will lay down in front of a garbage truck

before I'll allow that to happen!

Ole!

Arliss: Flora, what the hell is goin' on?

The shit is hitting the fan.

I got a call from a talk show in Vegas this morning.

The host tells me that the bookies' buzz is the team is coming to town.

How the hell did they find out about this?

It sure as hell didn't come from my side.

Okay, okay, there's no need to panic.

I got the fire stoked. I'll have a deal by the end of the month.

Month, my ass. They ran Modell out of town when they heard

he was moving the Browns. I need this closed by the end of the week.

The end of this week?

That's right, otherwise, our deal is off.

Make this happen, Arliss. The clock is ticking.

Arliss: Making things happen is my metier.

Arliss always says, "Put your client's best interest ahead of your own."

Guy: Ah! Hi, Arliss.

Guy Fondeaux, how's the sultan of the slap shot?

Arliss, you are the master of the bullshit.

And you are the master of the free agent market!

I've got firm offers from New York, from St. Louis, from Edmonton.

So why don't we go over each one and come to a decision?

Look, this free agency thing? I wanna take it slow.

- Slow? - I wanna visit the cities, see what they have to offer.

You wanna visit the cities?

Can you make an itinerary?

Itinerary? Yeah, sure.

Uh, tomorrow, I can have you in, uh, San Jose,

Edmonton and Calgary.

Tuesday we can do Quebec, Montreal, New York.

Wednesday, Philadelphia, Washington, Florida.

- Thursday, we can go out to Colo... - Hold on.

I can't start lookin' for at least two weeks.

Two weeks?

Yeah, the wife and I. We're takin' the kids to Hawaii.

We always do this time of year.

No, no... no, Hawaii this time of year?

No, no, next month is better.

It's the rainy season.

Last month was the rainy season.

No, the rainy season was extended, it was very well received.

Anyways, I can't decide just yet.

Sorry.

Uh, Guy, I've got... I got some bad news.

Um... I can't represent you anymore.

Are you kiddin' me? Why not?

I'm about to become an owner.

You, an owner?

Owners are the most deceitful, disloyal people on Earth.

W... I... I know that, but I think if I work at it, I can fit in.

Arliss, are you sure about this?

Together, we can make a lot of money.

Oh, I know, and it's killing me.

But don't... don't you worry, you're not gonna

have any trouble finding representation.

Thanks a lot, Arliss.

Strange. Usually, it's the clients leaving me.

Arliss: The greed of franchise merry-go-rounds...

Something I would never be a party to.

Get me North Carolina, Las Vegas and Mexico City on the phone, we are gonna

have us a biddin' war!

Well, I'll tell you how you could do better, Raleigh-Durham,

your tobacco company cannot advertise on radio or TV.

But you could have your company logo on the arena,

which means your product is mentioned on every telecast.

And, Mrs. Lansing has even considered renaming the team

the Raleigh-Durham Filter Kings!

All for an additional $25 million.

Now, doesn't that sound fair?

Son, we passed "fair" 10 million ago.

I know how his mind works. Give him your best offer up front and stand firm.

He says to stand firm.

Arliss, that's our best offer. We're standin' firm.

Well, then you might as well sit down,

because the hockey express is about to pass your ass by.

Hold!

(beep)

Hello, El Alcalde, mi amigo. It appears that hockey noche

in Mexico is very close to becoming a reality.

I'm happy to hear that.

However, I see nothing in your proposal about pouring rights.

Pouring rights?

What are those?

Don't bullshit a bullshitter, El Alcalde,

you know exactly what they are.

Exclusive rights from beer and soft drink companies to pour only their beverages.

We're looking at an additional $15 million from, say, Coors, Corona, Dos Equis, Tecate.

And another thing...

(speaking Spanish)

Senor Arliss, may I say, you're a most worthy negotiator.

Don't blow smoke up my ass, Alcalde!

This is your chance to break into the big-time sports market.

Personally, I'd like to see you succeed.

But you've got to do better.

- Hold! - (beep)

Las Vegas, we've got a problem.

We've already projected the sale of 10,000 P.S.L.'s at 11 grand a pop.

What's the problem?

The problem is your arena only seats 17-5.

Mrs. Lansing needs 18,000 to generate acceptable attendance figures.

Then we run into some engineering snags.

Any bigger, and the arena will implode onto the hotel and casino.

That would be tragic. Casino is where we make all our money.

In addition, we want a piece of the hotel, the casino,

and incentive-to-move costs.

He says he wants moving costs.

I'll get to the bottom of this.

I'll see what I can find out.

I'll take care of it.

Whoa whoa whoa, wh... wh... where... where do you think you're going?

Viva Las Vegas, baby, I tore that town up.

Es stupido!

Raleigh is by far the soundest choice!

Oh, three words, Ku Klux Klan.

Thank you, Mrs. Banderas.

Insolente.

Look, it's a no-brainer.

Bottom line is, the air in Raleigh-Durham sucked,

the air in Mexico City sucks,

the air in Las Vegas is great.

If you're above ground.

- Oh! - Yeah, well,

You just wanna get ahead. You just wanna get head.

You look like the poster girl for Cinco de Mayo!

Excuse me! You wanna just say that again so I can hit you?

You look like some sadly misdirected pinata.

(indistinct arguing)

Who's been paying you off?

(indistinct arguing continues)

Congratulations.

We have a deal.

(beep)

Flora: So sweet of you.

Mmm...

Arliss! Come sit.

Councilman Colsen, do you mind if Arliss and I have a moment alone?

Of course not.

Councilman...

Little late for those city jerks to be kissin' your ass, huh?

Or are they tryi" to get you drunk?

You didn't sign anything, did you?

- Uh... - By the way, you sure you wanna discuss this here?

There's a lot of people around.

We can come out now. The war is over.

What?

It seems the city miraculously found the extra money

to build a new arena.

Sorry, teach, no raise this year.

And, I have the rights to sell luxury boxes and P.S.L.s

You're staying?

Good God, Arliss, can you see me

living in Raleigh fucking Durham, or Las Vegas, please.

And Mexico City? All that smog and no English?

Um-um. L.A.'s the place, Arliss.

Here's where it all happens.

You! You leaked the stories, didn't you?

Nonsense.

I can't believe it.

You used me.

Used you?

Arliss... you're a hero.

Arliss: At that moment, I had enormous respect

for Flora Lansing.

Maybe because I saw in her so much of me.

A hero?

I promised you that I would do everything in my power

to make sure that hockey stayed in Los Angeles.

Well, hockey is staying in Los Angeles!

(applause)

And saving the biggest surprise for last.

I want to introduce to you our newest, just-signed superstar,

Guy Fondeaux!

(applause)

(quietly) Is this unbelievable?

Just after you left, she made a pre-emptive offer.

I tell you, my new agent made a hell of a deal.

(whispers) How much?

Arliss: Although I allowed myself to revel in my role

as the savior of hockey in Los Angeles,

I couldn't help but think of the many sharks

who came so close to stealing a hockey franchise.

I, for one, am glad they're still waiting.

My name is Arliss Michaels.

I represent athletes.

These are my stories.

(bulldozer engine running)

I thought they were comin'.

(cough)

(disco music playing)