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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,084 NARRATOR: Previously on "Wynonna Earp". 2 00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:04,164 A kid is missing. 3 00:00:04,254 --> 00:00:05,210 I'm retiring. 4 00:00:05,255 --> 00:00:06,791 To Sheriff Nicole Haught. 5 00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,840 Charlie. Is this you flirting? 6 00:00:10,719 --> 00:00:12,802 My baby daddy is married to a vampire. 7 00:00:12,888 --> 00:00:13,924 I don't like you at all. 8 00:00:13,972 --> 00:00:15,804 Are you sure? - Stop pretending 9 00:00:15,891 --> 00:00:18,178 that this isn't what you came here for. 10 00:00:18,227 --> 00:00:21,186 MICHELLE: He was kind, honest. His name was Julian. 11 00:00:21,230 --> 00:00:22,230 My dad was an angel. 12 00:00:22,314 --> 00:00:23,680 You were born out of love. 13 00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:25,348 We can find Julian if you want. 14 00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:26,442 What's in it for me? 15 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:30,361 BOBO GROWLS 16 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:39,871 OK. Slow down. This is the last time we're doing this. 17 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,532 Since we both have stressful jobs and everything 18 00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:45,125 we could keep doing this to take the edge off? 19 00:00:46,672 --> 00:00:49,255 I'm all edge, Charlie. If you can't handle that. 20 00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:57,296 You may handle me however you please. 21 00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:00,384 NICOLE: Good morning guys. 22 00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:02,597 I'm Deputy Nicole Haught, and I'm here 23 00:01:02,646 --> 00:01:04,933 hoping to earn your vote for Sheriff. - Shit, shitty-shit! 24 00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:06,251 I thought that was going pretty good. 25 00:01:06,275 --> 00:01:08,358 How's Purgatory's finest this morning? 26 00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:13,230 Thank you, sincerely, for all that you do. I know it's not an easy job. 27 00:01:13,282 --> 00:01:15,865 Nedley calls us Hose Jockeys. 28 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:19,368 Sheriff Nedley's sense of humour leaves a lot to be desired. 29 00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:25,333 And rest assured when I am Sheriff you will be both respected and supported. 30 00:01:26,295 --> 00:01:28,378 I will also pre-order a dozen of your calendars. 31 00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:30,880 I'm April this year. 32 00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:33,545 Happy Easter to me. 33 00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:36,595 I had no idea Officer Haught was your sister's girlfriend. That's so weird. 34 00:01:37,306 --> 00:01:40,515 You're not one of those "Adam & Eve, not Adam & Steve" people are you? 35 00:01:40,559 --> 00:01:43,393 God no. Purgatory Pride is my favourite event of the year. 36 00:01:43,729 --> 00:01:48,269 Purgatory has a Pride? - Yeah, we painted the fire engine rainbow. 37 00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:51,688 Nicole warned me about you. 38 00:01:51,862 --> 00:01:54,696 That I'm super flexible? - No, that you're a hot mess. 39 00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:57,653 Well, it's better than a cold... tidy. 40 00:02:02,331 --> 00:02:05,369 This was fun. Thanks for the... 41 00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:07,918 Pump? 42 00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:10,328 That's gross. - Backdraft? 43 00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:12,747 Did we do that? - Heat? 44 00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:17,255 SIREN WAILS 45 00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:20,806 Was that me? 46 00:02:29,191 --> 00:02:32,775 Nothing to see here. Just an adult woman, with adult woman needs. 47 00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:34,355 Leaving a fire hall. 48 00:02:34,905 --> 00:02:38,364 Let me guess: you need a ride. - I had a ride, I need a nap. 49 00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:39,816 And a ride. 50 00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:44,453 So you and Doc, not a thing anymore? - We were never a thing. 51 00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,614 And I haven't seen him for a week. 52 00:02:56,093 --> 00:03:00,303 Burns like a mother...! HE GRUNTS 53 00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:13,816 What have I done? 54 00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:16,648 Bulshar's ring is rejecting you. 55 00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,063 Now that you're compromised. 56 00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:25,153 Don't worry, my love. Now we're linked together forever. 57 00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:27,614 Just like you wanted. 58 00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:33,623 Just like I wanted... 59 00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:02,524 MEN SINGING INDISTINCTLY 60 00:04:03,535 --> 00:04:04,867 What's with the children's choir? 61 00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:08,120 A bunch of Omicron Tau Psi's, slumming it from the big city. 62 00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:10,157 We confiscated their party bus this morning. 63 00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:12,200 Who party buses at 10 am? 64 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:13,412 WYNONNA: The deeply committed. 65 00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:21,298 ♪ Drink up friends, drink up brothers! Drink up all you sexy mothers. ♪ 66 00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:25,300 Maybe later. - Sorry, yeah, I... dozed off. 67 00:04:25,557 --> 00:04:27,844 What's all this? - Oh, since closing down the abattoir 68 00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:30,636 thereby rescuing my new tall n' jazzy maybe kinda boyfriend 69 00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:33,680 I've been trying to figure out where Bulshar could've moved his operation. 70 00:04:33,732 --> 00:04:38,568 Nice! Also... When was the last time you went home? Or ate? 71 00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:41,229 HE YAWNS That depends. What day is it? 72 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,318 We're gonna need to get you a falafel. 73 00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:46,112 Push with your legs. - Shut up with your mouth. 74 00:04:46,495 --> 00:04:48,111 Am I finally gonna see your sex cave? 75 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:50,658 It's more of a closet. 76 00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,203 Retired Nedley is kinky. 77 00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:56,508 Everything in there, I seized from crime scenes that didn't feel kosher. 78 00:04:57,172 --> 00:04:59,129 Ones with a supernatural element. 79 00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:00,651 Why didn't you turn them over to Dolls? 80 00:05:00,675 --> 00:05:04,510 Well, initially I wasn't sure I could trust him. Now I know... 81 00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:13,811 NICOLE LAUGHS How long have you been hiding this stuff? 82 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,055 Since I became Sheriff. 83 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:19,108 Oh, we're gonna find dinosaur bones. 84 00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:22,862 Ha ha. It's up to you two to decide what to keep, what to burn. 85 00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:26,650 Huh. It's like Hoarders meets StorageWars. And I for one, am here for it. 86 00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:29,180 How're you making out getting city council's stamp of approval? 87 00:05:29,204 --> 00:05:31,321 Well, Bunny Loblaw won't return my calls. 88 00:05:31,373 --> 00:05:33,142 WYNONNA: That stuck-up Tuesday's still around? 89 00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:37,285 Yup. And reigning over city council with an iron fistula. 90 00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:40,000 Bunny Loblaw's the real king maker here in Purgatory. 91 00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:42,836 And she won't return your calls because she's a bully. 92 00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:45,126 Bullies smell fear, they just get more vicious. 93 00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:46,708 Yeah dummy, everyone knows that. 94 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:50,117 You get her on your own turf, you look her dead in the eye and you tell her 95 00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:51,757 that you're the only person for the job. 96 00:05:52,143 --> 00:05:57,309 Right. I am going to call her and I'm gonna set up a meeting. 97 00:05:57,899 --> 00:05:59,640 WYNONNA: Bunny's gonna eat her for lunch. 98 00:06:00,235 --> 00:06:02,602 Nedley, are you looking at my ass? - No. 99 00:06:06,992 --> 00:06:10,201 This will have to do. - SHOTGUN LOADS 100 00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:17,538 Shouldn't sneak around when there's a gun-toting mental patient on the loose. 101 00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:20,082 I thought we were friends. 102 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:24,252 You bailed right in the middle of my Christmas feast. 103 00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:28,756 You find my brussel sprouts offensive? 104 00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:34,676 I do apologise, ma'am, but something came up. 105 00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:35,889 SHE GIGGLES 106 00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:45,235 You're gonna make it up to me. 107 00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:52,072 I fear this is about to get weird. - Don't worry. I'll drive if you're tired. 108 00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:54,574 I do not understand. 109 00:06:54,623 --> 00:06:58,242 I need to get out of here. Just for a little while. 110 00:06:58,293 --> 00:07:00,956 Cabin fever. - You don't know the half of it. 111 00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:02,540 Oh, I just might. 112 00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:08,714 OK, let's go, before I roll you for your keys. 113 00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:12,509 NICOLE GRUNTS 114 00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:14,139 What do you think about this? 115 00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:21,602 Urn. Nice. - OK, but is it supernatural? 116 00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:23,565 Supernaturally oogly. 117 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:26,944 Hey, can you check this out? I found Nedley's old police memo. 118 00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:30,356 November 9th, 1996. Raccoon stuck in drop ceiling. 119 00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:34,027 SHE LAUGHS Call cleared but now require rabies shot. 120 00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:37,413 Wynonna? Can you... Like a little help here, please? 121 00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:41,747 Holy shit. Baby Nedley. 122 00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:44,398 When you're done with story time, could you please do some actual work? 123 00:07:44,422 --> 00:07:45,958 Nicole, you're a smart-ish girl. 124 00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:47,193 Surely you've figured out by now 125 00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:49,960 that this whole "cleaning out the secret locker" job is bullshit. 126 00:07:50,011 --> 00:07:52,378 Nedley made it up to make us practice working together. 127 00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:54,922 He parent trapped us? - None of this stuff matters. 128 00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:57,535 And it sure as hell isn't gonna help us with our Bulshar problem. 129 00:07:57,602 --> 00:08:00,265 Alright, well, you might be fine to sit on your ass and do nothing. 130 00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:03,556 But I'm not. Especially after what he did to Dolls. 131 00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:09,403 You want my help? Fine, Nicole. - Yes. Thank you. 132 00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:15,660 No problem. Crap. Crap. - VASE BREAKS 133 00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:22,204 Definitely crap. Not crap. More crap! - Wynonna, you're being reckless. 134 00:08:22,252 --> 00:08:23,584 Super crap! - Whoa! 135 00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:26,166 You know what, Deputy Dipshit, that's kinda my brand. 136 00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:27,625 And it's been working fine so far. 137 00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:30,007 God, I am so sick of your attitude... 138 00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:31,883 CRASH 139 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:37,302 Smooth move, Ginger Spice. You just earned yourself seven years bad luck. 140 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,730 LIGHTNING CRACKS 141 00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:52,655 HEAVY BREATHING 142 00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:05,785 Hey Tayla. You seen Doc around lately? - Nah. 143 00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:08,580 I'll have a whiskey. Leave the bottle. 144 00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:13,046 Whatcha got there, Sheriff? 145 00:09:13,428 --> 00:09:15,795 Ginger ale. And it's just Randy now. 146 00:09:16,181 --> 00:09:18,468 Didn't peg you for a teetotaller, "Just Randy". 147 00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:20,891 Well, I'm still on duty. 148 00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:24,728 Those drunken frat boys from the big city got me running my ass off. 149 00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:27,937 One of the many, many jobs I won't miss when I retire. 150 00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:29,896 Well, I won't tell if you won't. 151 00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:33,399 Oh. 152 00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:37,487 Look what I found for your retirement party slide-show. 153 00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:44,369 It's like your top lip is wearing a skinny tie. 154 00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:48,581 How's it going in the evidence locker? 155 00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:52,920 Ugh... Nicole smashed some stuff. Big surprise. 156 00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:55,946 It's gotta be hard to move around with a giant pickle up your ass, though. 157 00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:57,632 Give her some slack, Wynonna. 158 00:09:58,306 --> 00:10:02,050 You know me. I love slack. But that chick all work and no play. 159 00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:03,746 Next thing you know, she's gonna be chopping people up 160 00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:05,011 with an axe like... 161 00:10:05,522 --> 00:10:06,854 that dude in the hotel. 162 00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:08,730 Dave at the Motor Inn? 163 00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:10,603 Him too. 164 00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:12,355 Well, go easy on Nicole. 165 00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,440 You two have more in common than you think. 166 00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:29,707 Well, it's worth a shot, I guess. 167 00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,130 OK. 168 00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:37,885 SHE GASPS Hi! Bunny. Um, come on in. 169 00:10:37,929 --> 00:10:40,296 I did. - Can I take your coat? 170 00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,965 Why? So you can rifle through the pockets? 171 00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:47,395 Oh, what on God's flat earth is that? 172 00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:50,773 Oh, that's just Calamity Jane. Please don't worry she's super friendly. 173 00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:56,313 I don't care what it is. Either she goes or I go. I am deathly allergic. 174 00:10:56,364 --> 00:11:00,859 Right. OK. OK. Come on girly. 175 00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:03,027 Calamity, you're getting fat. 176 00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:04,515 Okay, just make yourself cosy. - CALAMITY MEOWS 177 00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:06,656 Just one second. I'll be right back. 178 00:11:19,721 --> 00:11:21,383 Disgusting. 179 00:11:29,147 --> 00:11:30,809 I am sorry, ma'am. 180 00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:35,067 Willa would be very sorry about Willa. That was always her first thought. 181 00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:37,440 Willa was Ward's pet. 182 00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:42,988 God, she was spoiled, and she had a mean streak. She would have been a terrible heir. 183 00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:46,912 She was just a child. 184 00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:52,293 Yeah, she was my baby. I'm so sorry I wasn't there to protect you. 185 00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:59,174 Hey, where are you going now? - Come on. I'll tell you which way to turn. 186 00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:04,673 Ms Gibson. Michelle. It's freezing out here. - Oh, stop being a wiener. Come on. 187 00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:07,512 Besides, I know you got a bottle of tequila stashed under your seat. 188 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:08,846 That's gonna get us through. 189 00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:12,605 So, I have some great ideas on how to make the town safer 190 00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:14,811 and the department run more efficiently. 191 00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:19,149 Well, that's all well and good, Deputy Haught. But my main concern is this. 192 00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:21,362 Randy Nedley is full of shit. 193 00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:23,774 Excuse me? - I am so sick and tired 194 00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:28,287 of being kept in the dark about all the strange occurrences in Purgatory. 195 00:12:28,623 --> 00:12:33,539 I won't be lied to about what's really going on in my town. Under my nose. 196 00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:37,079 Which is what exactly? - Well, you tell me. 197 00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:40,250 That's why I'm here. Unless you don't want to be sheriff. 198 00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:47,136 And don't give me any hooey about costume parties gone awry or zoo animals escaping. 199 00:12:47,725 --> 00:12:52,686 Well, Bunny, um, Purgatory is a very unique town 200 00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:55,438 with some unique challenges... - DOOR CLOSES 201 00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:58,379 Sorry to interrupt. Just need to talk to Deputy Tater Haught for a quick sec here. 202 00:12:58,403 --> 00:13:01,896 Yeah, this is really not a good time. - Actually it's perfect timing. 203 00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:05,441 Because I'm thinking of backing Wynonna for sheriff. 204 00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:08,661 BOTH LAUGH - You can't be serious. 205 00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:14,834 I'm dead serious. Wynonna, you are a straight shooter. You're one tough bitch. 206 00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:16,831 Hey-o. - And the Earps 207 00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:20,873 are one of Purgatory's original families. This one... 208 00:13:21,259 --> 00:13:23,922 This one? - Sorry, what about "this one"? 209 00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:27,509 What Purgatory needs is a home-grown hero. 210 00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:30,808 Not some fly-by-night outsider 211 00:13:30,852 --> 00:13:32,184 who, let's face it 212 00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:33,848 is a little too... 213 00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:36,431 Different. 214 00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:43,525 Can I just... real quick... For a sec. One sec. Just... In the kitchen. 215 00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:47,199 Wait 'til Bunny finds out about Purgatory Pride. 216 00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:51,241 What are you doing here? - Right, uh, it's about Nedley, and you. 217 00:13:51,289 --> 00:13:52,575 Alright. 218 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:56,200 Did Buns Buns really just say I could be..? SHE SNORTS 219 00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:59,836 Oh no, you cannot take that job. - I don't want that job. 220 00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:02,965 Yeah, cos you would be a disaster. - No shit, Not Sheriff. 221 00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:05,547 You have no police training, you're terrible with authority 222 00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:07,355 you're not even qualified to run a Chipotle! 223 00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:09,717 Guac-a-cuse me? You know what? 224 00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:15,512 Maybe I'd like to be Sheriff Nedley two point oh, oh, I'm your boss after all. 225 00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:18,601 Well, excuse me, but you can't even do one single assignment properly 226 00:14:18,649 --> 00:14:21,649 without breaking a million rules - and a creepy-ass mirror - in the process. 227 00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:24,686 SHE STUTTERS: Oh, Isis! 228 00:14:26,324 --> 00:14:27,986 What rules? 229 00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:30,777 Purgatory is the goddamned Thunder dome and I'm Tina Friggin' Turner. 230 00:14:30,953 --> 00:14:32,139 What are you even talking about? 231 00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:36,783 Point is, you can wrap yourself up in the rules like a snug little blanket 232 00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:39,115 to keep you warm at night, but I'm gonna go get shit done. 233 00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:42,921 Balls, Bunny's dead. 234 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:46,592 CALAMITY MEOWS - Calamity Jane! She's allergic! 235 00:14:46,636 --> 00:14:49,379 Yeah. - Bunny? Hey? 236 00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:51,692 I know a dozen places we can hide the body. 237 00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:55,509 She's still alive. - Fine, I'll save them for next time. 238 00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:56,914 Her purse. Wynonna, get her purse! 239 00:14:56,938 --> 00:14:59,897 Yeah, cash. - No! Medication, Wynonna! 240 00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:03,183 Ugh, crap! 241 00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:07,984 WYNONNA GASPS Is this Oxy? Ow! 242 00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:10,364 The tea. - Oh! 243 00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:14,369 Alright, Bunny, here we go. Here we go. 244 00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:17,373 Swallow. Swallow. - Come on. Come on you old bat. 245 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:25,380 I don't need a doctor. - WYNONNA: How about an exorcist, Bun Bun. 246 00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:26,711 Ok. I'll put her in my cruiser. 247 00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:28,821 We can get her faster to the hospital with the lights and sirens on. 248 00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:31,929 Don't take me to Purgatory General. They have too many immigrant doctors. 249 00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:34,511 Ow! Gee! - OK, that's enough out of you. 250 00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:38,265 Go inside, get her purse. - So you do wanna rob her? 251 00:15:38,312 --> 00:15:40,499 No. I wanna get her meds, the doctors are going to need them to diagnose her. 252 00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:41,625 Let's get her to the hospital and get the meds after. 253 00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:43,231 What the hell? - I will get them. 254 00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:45,587 I mean, you want something done right... - No, I will do it. 255 00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:49,400 BUNNY: Who the hell are you? What is going on! 256 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,111 I'm killing you! 257 00:15:51,576 --> 00:15:53,659 TIRES SQUEAK 258 00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:58,489 You have gotta be frigging kidding me! 259 00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:03,540 SIREN WAILS - WYNONNA: Look who needs my help now. 260 00:16:07,091 --> 00:16:08,957 What are you doing? - Get in. 261 00:16:09,010 --> 00:16:11,718 Dude, I had her keys. What about your truck? 262 00:16:11,762 --> 00:16:14,049 Battery's dead! I blame your cat for that, too. 263 00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:16,243 Okay, well, I should drive. Because then we're not stealing Bunny's car. 264 00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:18,287 We're just commandeering it for official police bus... 265 00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:19,802 Bigger fish, Nicole! 266 00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:20,896 OK... 267 00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:23,518 OK, great. I'll call Waverly. 268 00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:25,315 WAVERLY: We're logging on now. 269 00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:27,087 NICOLE: Hurry. We need to make sure Bunny's OK. 270 00:16:27,111 --> 00:16:30,525 JEREMY SNORTS Sorry, sorry, but it's kinda funny. 271 00:16:30,573 --> 00:16:32,050 You guys have some terrible luck today. 272 00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:34,282 Like black fly in your Chardonnay kind of terrible. 273 00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:36,409 WYNONNA: Speed it up, Jagged Little Nerd. 274 00:16:37,288 --> 00:16:43,501 OK, I'm pinging the cruiser's GPS and good news, it's parked. 275 00:16:43,961 --> 00:16:46,669 Bunny Nut Cheerios! You need to hurry. 276 00:16:50,218 --> 00:16:54,303 WYNONNA: Of course those two frat brats drove your car to a biker bar. 277 00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:57,493 NICOLE: Maybe they're friendly bikers hosting a Golden Girls Trivia Night. 278 00:16:57,517 --> 00:17:02,933 We're not in St Olaf anymore. - Get me out of here, you white trash tart! 279 00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:05,597 I see you're feeling better. Try your handle. 280 00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:07,937 I am! It doesn't open from the inside. 281 00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:10,172 It's a safety feature... Haven't you been arrested like 500 times? 282 00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:13,780 Not the time, Nicole! - Luckily, I always have a spare key. 283 00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:15,235 WYNONNA REPLIES MOCKINGLY OK, then. 284 00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:18,118 KEY BREAKS - NICOLE GASPS 285 00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:21,121 You are a some kind of moron, Haught! 286 00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:24,370 Whoa! The bullet could ricochet and hit Bunny. 287 00:17:24,418 --> 00:17:26,250 I'm willing to take the risk. - Or us. 288 00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:27,998 OK... 289 00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:30,526 I'll just call the fire department. They can pop the door off. 290 00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:32,007 No! Do not do that. - What? 291 00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:35,177 They'll never let us Sheriffs live it down. - OK. You have a better idea? 292 00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:38,596 Yeah. We go in and we find Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Douche. 293 00:17:38,641 --> 00:17:40,883 We're in and out in five minutes tops. We get the keys. 294 00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:43,598 She'll never notice, we're good to go. Let's go. 295 00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:48,766 Don't leave me in here, you sons of bitches! You are gonna hear from my lawyer! 296 00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:52,070 NICOLE: Peacemaker? 297 00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:53,937 WYNONNA: We're outnumbered. 298 00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:56,230 And we don't want Bunny to think we went in guns blazing. 299 00:18:00,454 --> 00:18:06,041 I couldn't wait to join the rodeo circuit, flee this shit-hole town. 300 00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:11,831 Then I came back one long August weekend, and I got drunk... pregnant. 301 00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:14,424 Ended up marrying Ward Earp. 302 00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:17,503 Well, he did give you three beautiful daughters. 303 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:20,510 No, he gave me two. Waverly was Julian's, remember? 304 00:18:23,894 --> 00:18:25,851 What's it like being with an angel? 305 00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:27,854 What's it like being with a demon? 306 00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:38,316 No, Julian made me feel like I didn't have to break my spirit to be happy. 307 00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:41,780 I do know what that is like. 308 00:18:42,705 --> 00:18:49,043 The night Waverly was born, Ward pushed Julian outside of the Ghost River Triangle. 309 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:52,416 It happened right here. 310 00:18:52,923 --> 00:18:54,289 He's been lost ever since. 311 00:18:55,384 --> 00:18:56,500 How do you know that? 312 00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:00,674 Bobo told me. 313 00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:02,722 Del Rey? You talked to him? 314 00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:09,142 I did more than talk to him. I gave him the Christmas dinner that you didn't want... 315 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:10,806 And his freedom. 316 00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:15,235 Are you out of your god-forsaken mind, woman? 317 00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:18,238 I think we've established, yes, sometimes. 318 00:19:18,282 --> 00:19:22,401 You have unleashed a monster! - Bulshar is risen, sweet cheeks. 319 00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:24,069 These are end times. 320 00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:26,701 It's gonna take monsters to fight a monster. 321 00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:31,706 Bobo Del Rey has tried to kill your daughters multiple times. 322 00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:32,995 Nobody's perfect. 323 00:19:33,381 --> 00:19:37,000 You do not get to make those life or death decisions for them! 324 00:19:37,468 --> 00:19:41,007 Who's going to stop me? You, Johnny Hank? 325 00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:43,304 Hm, if necessary. 326 00:19:43,766 --> 00:19:48,852 Well good. Seems like now we're finally 'talking'. So here's my terms... 327 00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:50,474 MEN CHEER 328 00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:53,061 What should we do with these interlopers? 329 00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:57,186 Release them into the woods and hunt them down like dogs? 330 00:19:57,321 --> 00:19:58,321 MEN CHEER 331 00:19:58,489 --> 00:20:01,482 Or, or we could eviscerate them 332 00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:03,862 right here on the bar? 333 00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:04,989 MEN MURMUR: Yeah. 334 00:20:05,162 --> 00:20:09,122 Are you gonna stay late and clean up that mess? Cos I'm not. 335 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,792 Suggestions? Anyone else? 336 00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:14,620 INDISTINCT CHATTER - MAN GRUNTS 337 00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:19,083 ROLF: That might be a good idea. - WYNONNA HUSHES 338 00:20:19,969 --> 00:20:24,589 Well, well, well. Looks like today's our lucky day. 339 00:20:24,849 --> 00:20:29,890 Seems the would-be sheriff and the heir have decided to join us for a little drink. 340 00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:33,646 We were dumb to think we could pull a fast one on you. 341 00:20:33,691 --> 00:20:37,310 But I can tell you're men of sport, and, you know 342 00:20:37,361 --> 00:20:40,525 where's the sport in ripping Dumb and Doucher to shreds? 343 00:20:40,865 --> 00:20:42,026 What are you proposing? 344 00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:45,446 I'm proposing that you let them go 345 00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:49,033 and... you and me 346 00:20:49,290 --> 00:20:53,000 and Deputy Haught to Trot here have ourselves a little contest. 347 00:20:54,044 --> 00:20:55,330 What are you good at? 348 00:20:55,713 --> 00:20:57,420 Golden Girls Trivia. - Drinking. 349 00:20:57,465 --> 00:21:00,833 You really wanna challenge me to a drinking contest? 350 00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:02,459 Mm-hm. I do. 351 00:21:03,137 --> 00:21:05,504 And if we win, then you let us go. 352 00:21:05,723 --> 00:21:07,180 What happens when I win? 353 00:21:07,892 --> 00:21:12,683 Then you... get to... kill us. 354 00:21:13,981 --> 00:21:15,381 We could've just offered them cash? 355 00:21:15,858 --> 00:21:18,441 I didn't work it out all the way to the end before I pitched it. 356 00:21:18,527 --> 00:21:21,361 You must be the stupidest heir yet. 357 00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:22,737 Definitely in the Top 5. 358 00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:27,238 OK. Let them Greeks go. 359 00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:30,995 You owe us. Take the cruiser and the old bag in the back seat 360 00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:32,906 and get to the hospital, OK? - Yes, ma'am. 361 00:21:33,167 --> 00:21:36,956 Now let's get pissed! - MEN CHEER 362 00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:41,210 I'm worried. Neither of them are answering. 363 00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:43,667 OK, wait, wait. Let's just recap. 364 00:21:44,011 --> 00:21:46,173 OK, - First, Bunny has a heart attack 365 00:21:46,222 --> 00:21:47,713 at Nicole's. - Yes. 366 00:21:47,765 --> 00:21:49,631 Then the cruiser gets stolen with Bunny in it. 367 00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:52,680 Then it just happens to end up at a Revenant roadhouse. 368 00:21:53,354 --> 00:21:55,846 Doesn't that sound spectacularly unlucky to you? 369 00:21:58,484 --> 00:22:00,817 Too unlucky to be a coincidence? 370 00:22:02,738 --> 00:22:05,025 Mirror, mirror, on the floor... 371 00:22:10,538 --> 00:22:14,248 Maybe if we put it back together their luck will change? 372 00:22:14,542 --> 00:22:16,078 Well, it can't get any worse. 373 00:22:16,126 --> 00:22:17,162 OK. 374 00:22:17,211 --> 00:22:20,750 1, 2, 3, drink. 375 00:22:26,512 --> 00:22:29,630 Is that all you got? Come on, fellas. Let's take this up a notch, huh? 376 00:22:29,682 --> 00:22:30,889 Grab the Ouzo! 377 00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:32,890 I really wish you'd stop helping. 378 00:22:32,935 --> 00:22:36,428 1, 2, 3, drink. 379 00:22:42,820 --> 00:22:44,047 How you feeling there, Rolfy boy? 380 00:22:44,071 --> 00:22:45,482 I feel good. - Good. 381 00:22:46,198 --> 00:22:48,861 I feel strong. - I feel college. 382 00:22:49,118 --> 00:22:50,950 How are you not bombed? You weigh like... 383 00:22:51,036 --> 00:22:52,036 eight pounds. 384 00:22:53,038 --> 00:22:54,154 I like you. 385 00:22:54,832 --> 00:22:57,791 Ena, Dio, Tria. 386 00:23:11,599 --> 00:23:12,555 MEN: Oh! 387 00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:13,932 Game over, lightweight! 388 00:23:14,351 --> 00:23:15,842 What? I swallowed it! 389 00:23:15,895 --> 00:23:18,433 And it came back up. Which means you lose. Everyone knows that. 390 00:23:18,522 --> 00:23:20,309 It's true, man. Everyone knows that. 391 00:23:22,067 --> 00:23:24,855 Well, we won fair and square. Un-cuff us. 392 00:23:26,155 --> 00:23:27,396 Hang on. 393 00:23:30,075 --> 00:23:32,317 You've been spitting your shots into this bottle. 394 00:23:32,953 --> 00:23:36,242 No, she hasn't. You haven't right. 395 00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:38,998 I learned it from Coyote Ugly. - I love that movie! 396 00:23:39,126 --> 00:23:43,040 You broke the rules. Now I get to break your necks. 397 00:23:43,172 --> 00:23:45,209 Ooh good one. - HE SHOUTS 398 00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:46,714 THEY SCREAM - ROLF: Stop! 399 00:23:47,593 --> 00:23:49,129 Stop quipping and run! - Yup! 400 00:23:53,599 --> 00:23:56,307 INDISTINCT CHATTER FROM MEN - WYNONNA GRUNTS 401 00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:58,301 Hurry up! The cuff's chafing. 402 00:23:58,354 --> 00:24:03,600 You're going too fast and I'm too drunk. You are literally the worst! 403 00:24:03,776 --> 00:24:06,393 Climb! Climb! Climb! - NICOLE GRUNTS 404 00:24:14,161 --> 00:24:15,743 KATE: You found my mementos. 405 00:24:16,956 --> 00:24:20,415 You mean the souvenirs of all the people you have killed? 406 00:24:20,584 --> 00:24:21,791 That's a vulgar way to put it. 407 00:24:21,835 --> 00:24:22,951 It is the truth. 408 00:24:23,379 --> 00:24:24,836 Is it Wynonna you're helping? 409 00:24:26,924 --> 00:24:28,335 In a manner of speaking. 410 00:24:29,259 --> 00:24:33,003 She must be some woman if you're willing to give up one of your precious pistols. 411 00:24:34,306 --> 00:24:36,093 It's sweet you think she'd want you now. 412 00:24:37,476 --> 00:24:40,184 You know how your jealousy bores me. 413 00:24:40,354 --> 00:24:43,392 As you really are. - Wynonna helped make me as I am. 414 00:24:43,816 --> 00:24:48,857 SHE GROWLS I did! Because you asked me to! 415 00:24:52,032 --> 00:24:53,148 My Henry. 416 00:24:54,618 --> 00:24:56,575 Greatest gunslinger that ever lived. 417 00:24:58,080 --> 00:24:59,742 And a filthy, rotten scoundrel. 418 00:25:01,458 --> 00:25:04,417 All this helping and sacrificing she has you doing... 419 00:25:04,586 --> 00:25:07,499 She thinks I can be better. - Than what? 420 00:25:08,257 --> 00:25:09,293 It's beneath you. 421 00:25:10,134 --> 00:25:12,217 Wynonna is breaking your spirit. 422 00:25:13,220 --> 00:25:15,963 But I love you when you're at your worst. 423 00:25:17,850 --> 00:25:19,091 Maybe even more. 424 00:25:24,815 --> 00:25:28,525 Then you'll know I'm not a man that does ultimatums. 425 00:25:29,194 --> 00:25:30,730 Or likes to choose. 426 00:25:30,904 --> 00:25:35,615 You have chosen. And you're mine, forever now. 427 00:25:35,784 --> 00:25:38,868 HE GROWLS - So go, tell the Earp heir. 428 00:25:40,456 --> 00:25:42,493 See if she welcomes you back into her bed. 429 00:25:47,212 --> 00:25:48,999 HE GROWLS 430 00:25:49,548 --> 00:25:52,507 You know we wouldn't be in this mess if you'd just played by the rules. 431 00:25:52,551 --> 00:25:55,214 There are no rules in this shit town, Nicole! 432 00:25:55,304 --> 00:25:58,217 If you wanna be all normal and law-abiding do it somewhere else. 433 00:25:58,557 --> 00:26:00,243 You know what, get your ass out of your head, Wynonna. 434 00:26:00,267 --> 00:26:02,078 You're not the only one who's been through stuff. 435 00:26:02,102 --> 00:26:08,895 Oh right, I forgot. You survived a massacre. Yeah that one is legit as... F. 436 00:26:09,151 --> 00:26:13,441 You're right I did. So I'm not about to die here handcuffed to a criminal 437 00:26:13,489 --> 00:26:15,401 you, by the way. - WYNONNA GROANS 438 00:26:15,449 --> 00:26:16,781 Oh! Real mature! 439 00:26:16,825 --> 00:26:21,490 You know what, you survived some shit and I cannot wait for your TED Talk 440 00:26:22,039 --> 00:26:27,205 but get back to me when you're cursed! Jesus. Mother bad lucker. 441 00:26:27,252 --> 00:26:31,997 It's jammed and not like Space or strawberry, the bad kind of jam! 442 00:26:36,386 --> 00:26:41,256 Well, aren't you two a pair of catty little bitches. 443 00:26:41,767 --> 00:26:45,636 I like all that animosity running through your veins. 444 00:26:45,896 --> 00:26:49,640 You're basting in it. Oh, it'll make you taste so much better. 445 00:26:53,487 --> 00:26:55,774 You be Scott. - You be Tessa. 446 00:26:57,241 --> 00:26:58,823 GRUNTING AND HITTING 447 00:27:02,329 --> 00:27:03,490 GUNSHOT 448 00:27:08,085 --> 00:27:09,542 MAN ROARS 449 00:27:10,796 --> 00:27:13,083 We make a pretty good team! - Yeah, chemistry's solid. 450 00:27:14,383 --> 00:27:16,375 NICOLE: OK, yup. 451 00:27:16,552 --> 00:27:18,509 INDISTINCT SHOUTING 452 00:27:24,143 --> 00:27:28,262 As much as I love a feel-good ending, this ain't it. Any last words? 453 00:27:28,313 --> 00:27:31,056 I miss Macaulay Culkin. - Tell Waverly I love her. 454 00:27:31,108 --> 00:27:33,896 Oh sure, make me look like an asshole. - SLICING 455 00:27:40,409 --> 00:27:42,696 You owe me a wife! 456 00:27:43,620 --> 00:27:46,203 Is this better or worse? - Worse! 457 00:27:49,334 --> 00:27:52,623 There's gotta be one more piece. - Whoop! There it is! 458 00:27:53,130 --> 00:27:54,837 SHE GASPS Oh my god. 459 00:27:55,299 --> 00:27:56,506 OK. Bad luck over? 460 00:27:56,592 --> 00:27:59,175 We fixed it! Did we fix it? - I don't know. 461 00:28:01,138 --> 00:28:03,380 There's a mountain man! - A gross stabby mountain man! 462 00:28:03,432 --> 00:28:04,472 JEREMY: So, not fixed then. 463 00:28:06,018 --> 00:28:08,852 Not so fast, Gandalf... SHE SCREAMS 464 00:28:10,439 --> 00:28:15,935 You shall not pass. - HE ROARS 465 00:28:18,155 --> 00:28:20,772 Yeah, on second thought, you do you, man. 466 00:28:23,660 --> 00:28:26,698 One of you will be my new wife! 467 00:28:26,747 --> 00:28:30,491 Not it. - Did he just say wife? Come on. 468 00:28:31,293 --> 00:28:32,293 Whelp. 469 00:28:41,553 --> 00:28:45,263 OK, the mirror wasn't the only thing they broke, right? Wait, what's this? 470 00:28:45,557 --> 00:28:49,141 Is that ceramic? - It looks like a lawn ornament? 471 00:28:51,396 --> 00:28:52,512 He's not an ogre. 472 00:28:52,856 --> 00:28:54,188 JEREMY SHOUTS: He's a gnome! 473 00:28:54,233 --> 00:28:55,690 How does that help us? 474 00:28:55,817 --> 00:28:59,481 You owe me a wife! Now choose! 475 00:28:59,655 --> 00:29:02,175 How could we possibly... - Nicole would make a great gnome wife. 476 00:29:02,241 --> 00:29:04,358 WAVERLY BABBLES: Love me a good puzzle. 477 00:29:04,534 --> 00:29:06,992 She's beautiful and annoyingly noble. 478 00:29:07,204 --> 00:29:09,867 And I know she's great in bed because my house has very thin walls! 479 00:29:10,332 --> 00:29:11,868 Quick, quick quick, quick! - Stop! 480 00:29:11,917 --> 00:29:15,752 You should choose Wynonna. She is funny, and irrepressible 481 00:29:15,796 --> 00:29:18,709 and she always goes to the mat for the people she loves. 482 00:29:18,924 --> 00:29:19,960 More tape! 483 00:29:20,300 --> 00:29:22,111 Oh, and she's super fertile! - That was one time. 484 00:29:22,135 --> 00:29:24,752 You stick to that. I will do tape. 485 00:29:25,389 --> 00:29:27,802 I think this would be a really good time to tell you that 486 00:29:28,058 --> 00:29:29,549 I am a lesbian. 487 00:29:29,768 --> 00:29:31,871 Oh, like you never went through an experimental phase. 488 00:29:31,895 --> 00:29:32,931 Not with gnomes. 489 00:29:33,021 --> 00:29:34,901 That's very narrow-minded, Nicole. Love is love. 490 00:29:35,148 --> 00:29:37,481 Stop talking! - BOTH SHOUT 491 00:29:39,778 --> 00:29:40,778 OK! 492 00:29:42,489 --> 00:29:44,606 You want a wife, but you need a mint. 493 00:29:46,660 --> 00:29:47,776 We're missing a piece! 494 00:29:47,828 --> 00:29:51,321 I got the knees! Oh my god, these are... 495 00:29:51,373 --> 00:29:53,911 Boobs? Oh hell gnome! It's a lady. 496 00:29:53,959 --> 00:29:55,825 They broke his gnome wife! 497 00:29:56,086 --> 00:29:58,690 Quick, stick the boobs back on! - That is a lawsuit waiting to happen! 498 00:29:58,714 --> 00:30:00,546 Fine I'll do it. - With the utmost respect! 499 00:30:00,757 --> 00:30:02,544 Just hand me the double-sided tape! 500 00:30:02,968 --> 00:30:05,927 God, I really wish we had a gnome bra! - It's done. 501 00:30:09,099 --> 00:30:11,182 LIGHTNING CRACKS 502 00:30:13,103 --> 00:30:15,470 Monique! You're alright! 503 00:30:20,861 --> 00:30:23,444 WYNONNA & NICOLE BABBLE 504 00:30:27,159 --> 00:30:29,947 Aw. That that was kind of... - ...of sweet? 505 00:30:29,995 --> 00:30:34,035 And romantic? - Exactly how my first Grindr date ended. 506 00:30:35,917 --> 00:30:37,453 I've said too much. 507 00:30:37,711 --> 00:30:39,418 DOC: Found it at the old roadhouse. 508 00:30:39,713 --> 00:30:42,734 Doors were open. Keys were in the ignition. I wouldn't drive it for more than a day. 509 00:30:42,758 --> 00:30:45,478 You never know when the owner is gonna sober up and report it stolen. 510 00:30:46,762 --> 00:30:52,008 OK, we got some cash, an I.D., oh, I knew an outlaw'd get what's needed 511 00:30:52,100 --> 00:30:58,722 when I need to get out of Dodge fast. Oh. But I'm not gonna take your pistol. 512 00:30:58,899 --> 00:31:00,219 We both know you might need that. 513 00:31:00,734 --> 00:31:02,270 Much obliged. 514 00:31:02,569 --> 00:31:05,061 Otherwise, nicely done, Johnny Hank. 515 00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:06,816 I wish I could say the same. 516 00:31:07,991 --> 00:31:09,778 Is this where you beg me to stay? 517 00:31:09,826 --> 00:31:11,442 I do not beg. 518 00:31:14,164 --> 00:31:17,202 Anyway, this gives us our best chance of keeping them safe. 519 00:31:17,459 --> 00:31:20,623 Seems to be my lot in life. Leaving to keep other people safe. 520 00:31:21,004 --> 00:31:22,961 Am I meant to feel sorry for you? 521 00:31:23,173 --> 00:31:28,385 No. I would never ask you that. But you do recognise this, you recognise me 522 00:31:28,678 --> 00:31:30,260 you recognise what I'm doing. 523 00:31:30,305 --> 00:31:34,345 Setting evil free and imperilling your own family in the process. 524 00:31:34,601 --> 00:31:38,060 Now that I know what happened to Julian, I have to go find him. 525 00:31:38,688 --> 00:31:42,477 He's lost out there. He's outside the Ghost River Triangle... 526 00:31:43,443 --> 00:31:48,279 From the second I walked into that barn, you knew I'd make you leave. 527 00:31:49,574 --> 00:31:51,031 You knew I'd help you. 528 00:31:51,284 --> 00:31:53,446 Sometimes it takes a monster. 529 00:31:55,038 --> 00:31:56,870 Wynonna will be angry. 530 00:31:57,749 --> 00:31:59,365 She's not gonna be angry with you. 531 00:32:00,252 --> 00:32:02,369 She always seems to forgive you. 532 00:32:03,213 --> 00:32:09,710 Still, you may not escape her anger. For you are abandoning your family for love. 533 00:32:11,138 --> 00:32:14,472 Like I'm gonna let a vampire lecture me on love. 534 00:32:20,564 --> 00:32:22,601 CAR ENGINE STARTS 535 00:32:24,985 --> 00:32:26,265 A BAG THUDS TO THE GROUND - Oh... 536 00:32:26,945 --> 00:32:28,607 SHE GASPS Shit. 537 00:32:29,531 --> 00:32:30,692 Out already? 538 00:32:30,866 --> 00:32:35,327 I didn't even have time to send flowers. - It was just a fancy faint. 539 00:32:35,495 --> 00:32:37,532 Yeah, the cat made a bed in your ass-crack. 540 00:32:38,039 --> 00:32:41,157 A doctor said I'm fine. I'm as healthy as an ox. 541 00:32:41,293 --> 00:32:42,409 With the cankles to match. 542 00:32:42,961 --> 00:32:48,207 Listen, I am just here to tell Officer Haught that despite the day's events 543 00:32:48,467 --> 00:32:50,550 she will not be getting my support. 544 00:32:52,471 --> 00:32:55,714 She saved your life, you incorrigible bitch. 545 00:32:56,224 --> 00:33:00,639 Perhaps. But she does not belong here in Purgatory. 546 00:33:01,021 --> 00:33:03,138 She is not our people. 547 00:33:03,523 --> 00:33:05,731 Are you a xenophobe or a homophobe? 548 00:33:05,817 --> 00:33:07,809 Why pick just one. 549 00:33:08,111 --> 00:33:11,104 Even though it was against her best interest, Nicole did the right thing. 550 00:33:11,239 --> 00:33:13,401 She always does the right thing. No matter what. 551 00:33:13,658 --> 00:33:15,650 That's the kind of person who should be sheriff. 552 00:33:15,911 --> 00:33:18,494 I'll keep that in mind. - No. now, Bunny... 553 00:33:19,581 --> 00:33:21,868 Shouldn't we talk about what really happened today? 554 00:33:23,293 --> 00:33:25,501 What's really got your pearls all twisted? 555 00:33:25,795 --> 00:33:27,355 I don't know what you're talking about. 556 00:33:27,422 --> 00:33:28,708 What you saw. 557 00:33:29,716 --> 00:33:31,878 Because you saw something. Didn't you, Bun-Bun? 558 00:33:32,093 --> 00:33:35,052 It was just a dream, a terrible dream. 559 00:33:35,597 --> 00:33:40,558 Like the one where I'm on the cruise ship with all those shirtless Portuguese sailors. 560 00:33:40,769 --> 00:33:44,308 OK, there's a lot to unpack there. But no. 561 00:33:45,190 --> 00:33:46,226 You weren't dreaming. 562 00:33:46,942 --> 00:33:50,435 See, you think you want to know the things Nedley's been keeping secret. 563 00:33:51,613 --> 00:33:52,649 You don't. 564 00:33:53,073 --> 00:33:57,443 That monster you saw today is just the tip of the iceberg. 565 00:33:57,994 --> 00:33:59,155 Iceberg? 566 00:33:59,329 --> 00:34:03,164 If you don't back Nicole for sheriff, I am sending that monster 567 00:34:03,542 --> 00:34:07,661 and all of his demon friends, to your house. 568 00:34:08,255 --> 00:34:10,463 You can't and you won't. 569 00:34:11,216 --> 00:34:13,424 Bless your cold, withered heart. 570 00:34:14,052 --> 00:34:16,419 You think you can handle another "fancy faint"? 571 00:34:17,973 --> 00:34:19,973 Then Nicole Haught is going to be the next sheriff. 572 00:34:20,058 --> 00:34:21,219 OK? 573 00:34:22,143 --> 00:34:23,259 Have a lovely day. 574 00:34:23,645 --> 00:34:26,934 I need to get to church. - You gotta book yourself that cruise. 575 00:34:34,364 --> 00:34:35,821 How long have you been listening? 576 00:34:36,032 --> 00:34:37,648 It would've been rude to interrupt. 577 00:34:37,951 --> 00:34:38,951 Naughty-Haughty. 578 00:34:39,286 --> 00:34:43,496 How's your head? Because I feel like I can hear space and time. 579 00:34:45,333 --> 00:34:46,699 Hair of the dog? 580 00:34:48,128 --> 00:34:50,541 Officer Haught. At work? 581 00:34:50,797 --> 00:34:53,289 Well, some rules are made to be broken. 582 00:34:53,675 --> 00:34:55,632 Maybe you would be a good wife. 583 00:34:55,885 --> 00:34:59,094 Aw, thank you, but you're not my type. You cheat at drinking games. 584 00:34:59,139 --> 00:35:00,505 SHE LAUGHS 585 00:35:03,810 --> 00:35:04,810 Truce? 586 00:35:05,353 --> 00:35:07,140 More than a truce. A win. 587 00:35:12,110 --> 00:35:14,227 You know, I used to think you were an outsider too. 588 00:35:14,529 --> 00:35:16,771 And that things would get too demony, and you would... 589 00:35:18,450 --> 00:35:20,612 go and leave my sister with a broken heart. 590 00:35:21,077 --> 00:35:23,194 Wynonna, I love her. 591 00:35:23,663 --> 00:35:27,031 Ew. Also, you'd better. 592 00:35:29,044 --> 00:35:30,455 And I love you too. 593 00:35:31,129 --> 00:35:36,966 I mean, it's terribly unfair and sometimes I get jealous because you get to be... 594 00:35:39,012 --> 00:35:40,378 Get to be what? 595 00:35:41,806 --> 00:35:42,967 You. 596 00:35:46,227 --> 00:35:48,435 You're staked to this land, same as me. 597 00:35:49,230 --> 00:35:50,471 You never had a choice. 598 00:35:50,940 --> 00:35:52,181 What d'you mean? 599 00:35:57,947 --> 00:36:01,611 It wasn't Black Badge who saved you from the Cult of Bulshar massacre, Nicole. 600 00:36:04,537 --> 00:36:06,244 It was an idealistic local cop. 601 00:36:13,505 --> 00:36:15,212 KNOCKING ON DOOR - HE PANTS 602 00:36:16,966 --> 00:36:18,002 HE SIGHS: Oh... 603 00:36:19,094 --> 00:36:22,804 That little dance battle at the vampire ball really did my back in. 604 00:36:30,689 --> 00:36:31,725 Ah... 605 00:36:38,822 --> 00:36:40,404 You were so damn scared... 606 00:36:43,076 --> 00:36:44,988 still so damn tough. 607 00:36:46,371 --> 00:36:49,955 I found you, down river from the massacre. You'd gotten yourself into a canoe. 608 00:36:50,083 --> 00:36:51,449 You got away, so... 609 00:36:53,294 --> 00:36:54,535 You're the one. 610 00:37:01,761 --> 00:37:03,593 Kept an eye on you afterwards. 611 00:37:05,140 --> 00:37:06,802 You know those folks of yours. 612 00:37:08,643 --> 00:37:12,011 Who lets their six-year-old daughter go to a music festival in the woods? 613 00:37:13,523 --> 00:37:15,560 My parents were never anything but selfish. 614 00:37:16,151 --> 00:37:17,483 If they could see you now... 615 00:37:18,486 --> 00:37:23,652 We don't talk. - Why? Because of... who you are? 616 00:37:23,700 --> 00:37:26,033 Yeah. A cop. 617 00:37:27,203 --> 00:37:29,695 When I found out you'd enrolled in the police academy 618 00:37:29,789 --> 00:37:31,906 I couldn't resist offering you this job. 619 00:37:32,208 --> 00:37:36,202 When I saw the posting, I knew that this is where I had to serve. 620 00:37:40,425 --> 00:37:42,041 Everything good that I have in my life 621 00:37:42,093 --> 00:37:44,506 is because I came back to the Ghost River Triangle. 622 00:37:50,310 --> 00:37:53,769 You're like a daughter to me. 623 00:38:02,113 --> 00:38:04,275 SHE SOBS 624 00:38:12,415 --> 00:38:14,372 You're wrinkling the crease in my khakis. 625 00:38:23,134 --> 00:38:24,215 NICOLE: Thank you. 626 00:38:27,138 --> 00:38:29,471 You are a tough act to follow. 627 00:38:29,808 --> 00:38:31,174 I'm not going anywhere. 628 00:38:34,103 --> 00:38:35,435 Not if you really need me. 629 00:38:36,231 --> 00:38:38,393 Congratulations, Sheriff Haught. 630 00:38:40,610 --> 00:38:41,771 You earned it. 631 00:38:45,990 --> 00:38:50,325 Fill the tub with tequila and salt the rim. I have had a day. 632 00:38:52,705 --> 00:38:54,947 WAVERLY SOBS: She's gone. 633 00:38:57,585 --> 00:38:58,951 Went to find Julian. 634 00:39:08,263 --> 00:39:12,257 We just had Christmas together and it was so nice. 635 00:39:13,309 --> 00:39:15,162 We've spent our whole lives trying to figure out 636 00:39:15,186 --> 00:39:17,143 why she does what she does, Baby Girl. 637 00:39:18,439 --> 00:39:19,555 We already have. 638 00:39:20,900 --> 00:39:22,892 At least now she really is free. 639 00:39:23,611 --> 00:39:24,852 Must be nice. 640 00:39:39,752 --> 00:39:40,913 Good evening. 641 00:39:43,298 --> 00:39:45,005 I've come bearing gifts. 642 00:39:46,092 --> 00:39:47,924 Well, gift. 643 00:39:54,225 --> 00:39:55,225 This is... 644 00:39:55,268 --> 00:39:59,057 Bulshar's ring. It might protect you in the upcoming battle. 645 00:40:00,148 --> 00:40:02,606 How did you get it? Nicole had it. 646 00:40:02,901 --> 00:40:06,520 Well, the details are a little foggy. 647 00:40:07,697 --> 00:40:09,859 I do like to day drink, as you know. 648 00:40:10,074 --> 00:40:11,281 Why don't you keep it? 649 00:40:13,745 --> 00:40:16,658 Anyone ever tell you not to look a gift horse in the mouth? 650 00:40:17,707 --> 00:40:19,369 Did you spend the day with my mother? 651 00:40:19,709 --> 00:40:21,871 She essentially treated me as her Ober... 652 00:40:22,045 --> 00:40:23,081 Uber. 653 00:40:28,801 --> 00:40:31,509 What she told me may require some explanation. 654 00:40:31,679 --> 00:40:32,886 She thought so too. 655 00:40:34,974 --> 00:40:36,340 Let me just read it to you. 656 00:40:37,727 --> 00:40:38,888 "Dear Wynonna. 657 00:40:40,396 --> 00:40:41,853 Don't trust Doc Holliday. 658 00:40:44,817 --> 00:40:46,103 He's not what he says he is". 659 00:40:47,028 --> 00:40:49,816 Did she also say she set Bobo free? From the well? 660 00:40:49,864 --> 00:40:52,447 She does love to burn a place down before she runs. 661 00:40:52,659 --> 00:40:54,116 The recklessness of her actions... 662 00:40:54,827 --> 00:40:57,160 I do not see how she could remain here and keep you safe. 663 00:40:58,039 --> 00:40:59,280 Just tell me what you did. 664 00:41:03,002 --> 00:41:04,118 Who are you? 665 00:41:05,171 --> 00:41:07,914 Who I have always been. - Don't talk to me in riddles. 666 00:41:08,132 --> 00:41:10,569 How should I talk to you then? - Like you give a shit about me. 667 00:41:10,593 --> 00:41:12,425 You refused me. 668 00:41:15,807 --> 00:41:17,298 Wynonna, I do care... 669 00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:21,802 You are running out of road, woman. 670 00:41:22,438 --> 00:41:23,724 Tell me what you are. 671 00:41:26,442 --> 00:41:28,434 HE ROARS 672 00:41:30,947 --> 00:41:32,154 Kate. 673 00:41:34,784 --> 00:41:36,150 You let her do this. 674 00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:40,161 She had you. 675 00:41:41,708 --> 00:41:43,165 This was the only way. 676 00:41:43,292 --> 00:41:44,908 What about us? 677 00:41:46,254 --> 00:41:47,836 What about Alice? 678 00:41:49,757 --> 00:41:51,669 What would our daughter say if she knew 679 00:41:52,051 --> 00:41:54,134 her father sold his soul! 680 00:41:54,679 --> 00:41:58,138 You of all people should understand the sacrifices that have been made! 681 00:41:58,307 --> 00:42:02,017 You wanted your immortality that badly? You selfish asshole. 682 00:42:02,186 --> 00:42:03,347 Watch your mouth. 683 00:42:05,273 --> 00:42:06,354 Bite me. 684 00:42:10,319 --> 00:42:11,935 There are some... 685 00:42:13,614 --> 00:42:14,650 advantages... 686 00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:17,691 to you being a vampire. 687 00:42:18,870 --> 00:42:23,615 John Henry Holliday, you're not welcome in my home any more. 688 00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:25,366 Don't you do this. 689 00:42:25,501 --> 00:42:27,788 No. You did this. 690 00:42:28,212 --> 00:42:29,248 Not me. 691 00:42:30,173 --> 00:42:31,173 DOOR SLAMS SHUT 55148

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