All language subtitles for VP Tru - A XXX Parody

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Original subtitles

That's what you really are, baby.

Yeah.

Oh,

God. Oh, yeah.

It's like a cough for hours.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God.

My mouth.

Oh, yes, baby.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh,

God,

you're fucking big cocky.

I don't know.

Yeah.

Oh, God.

So big.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, God. I can't wait to put it in my mouth. Yeah.

Oh.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Fuck yeah.

Where is Sookie Stackhouse?

Who?

Where is Sookie Stackhouse?

Who?

Hey, Sam.

Hey, Sookie. How are you?

Well, how else could I be?

Things are getting really weird around here.

Lafayette is missing.

Yeah, that's weird.

Not the fact that half my clientele is made up of vampires now.

Sam!

Oh, yeah, sorry. I forgot about that mind -reading thing.

Well, I'll forgive you if you let me take some time off to go see Bill.

Bill?

You want to go see Bill right now?

You don't think that it's a little sunny outside?

Well, for your information, I was going to take off early today and surprise him

when he gets up this evening.

Well, Tara's in there, and she's very worried about her missing cousin.

Fine, fine. Go.

With my blessing.

Thanks, Sam. I'll go tell Tara.

Yeah, sure. Hey, Sam, can I have some time off?

Sure, take your time off. No worries.

Sam, do you mind filling out the deposit ticket? Make a deposit? Sure, even

though I'm the boss. I'll make a deposit. Sure, no worries. Sam, do you

taking out the garbage? Oh, hell, no worries. You always talk to yourself or

only while you're loathing your own existence?

Oh, yeah.

What are you doing here?

Is that any way to treat a former lover of Fido?

What are you doing here, and how'd you find me?

How dare you think it's all about you?

You, my pet, were just a palate cleanser in my eternal feast.

I didn't come back for you, silly.

Why are you here?

These questions are boring me, Sam.

All right, okay, okay, okay. All right, okay, stop.

No reason to go all that far.

Okay? Calm down.

Oh. I think you should go.

Or maybe I should have my leftovers.

Vicki, listen to me. I want you to go inside. I want you to call the police.

Under no circumstances.

Please say it's not Lafayette.

Please say it's not Lafayette.

No, Tara, don't go.

Oh, no.

Oh, God, no.

Vicki, why?

Hera, I'm so sorry.

I promise I'm going to do whatever it takes to find out who did this to

Lafayette, if it's the last thing that I do.

I'm going to go back inside.

I need to figure out what I'm going to do.

I'll come with you. No thanks.

I really need to be alone right now.

I'll call you later to make sure you're okay.

Bill, something horrible has happened.

It's okay. Is everything all right?

Do you need me?

Yes. I need you to come take me to Fantasia right away.

Come quickly.

I came as soon as I could.

What happened?

I'll explain on the way.

I'm done here, little lady.

You have a good night.

Really? Have a good night?

Fucking sang -banger.

Bill, no.

If it isn't Dracula and Juliet.

You two go together like... Like... Well, you don't, but it's cute.

What are you doing here with your human, Bill?

A terrible crime was committed in Vaughn's home.

Sookie wanted to come and ask some questions.

Well, isn't it convenient that Nancy Drew won't even have to ask?

What are you going to do, sweetheart?

Dig through the minds of everyone in my club?

With all due respect, Pam, yes, that's my plan exactly.

It's better than sitting around doing nothing while someone's ripping the

out of innocent people right out of their chest.

Be my guest, sweetheart.

Bill, don't let anything get out of hand.

God, take it out of my face. God, it's hard right now. I need some weed. I'm

fucking out.

Mmm,

yummy. What's he doing with her?

I'm gonna fucking bang her. That should taste real good.

Oh shit.

What's up, Karen?

Hey, I heard what happened.

I just wanted to come by and say I'm sorry.

I just can't believe this is happening.

I know.

Come here. Can I tell you something, though?

Ever since I joined my support group, right? No, no. Jason, did you come over

here to preach to me? Because right now is not the time for me to come to God

when the only thing that I can think about is killing the motherfucker who

it. Well, I'm just trying to help you. But I can't do that if you're going to

push me away.

Well, maybe I don't need your help.

We'll find them, baby. I'll just leave. Find me and go.

Wait, Jason.

I really don't want to be alone right now.

What?

oh oh

I don't know what to do.

What?

Yeah.

I don't know.

Wow.

No idea.

I can't do it at all.

Oh my goodness.

Thank you.

Okay.

like puppy chocolate?

So, is everything all right? Did you hear something?

Bill, Eric knows something.

But I can't read all of his thoughts. Why?

I'm over a century old.

He's my elder.

Probably figured out a way to stop mind readers.

I'm going over there.

Okay. Well, you have no idea what he's capable of.

He's my sheriff.

Not a good idea.

But I've got to.

It's the only way to get answers.

Sookie, don't.

Is there a problem here?

As a matter of fact, there is.

Bill, haven't you tamed your human by now?

You're hiding something, aren't you? You know something about Lafayette's death.

Sookie, that's enough.

Yes, Sookie, that is enough.

I don't take kindly to humans coming into my bar trying to invade my mind and

accusing me of God knows what.

Get her out of here. I'll let it go this time, Bill.

The next time your human gets that line, she's mine.

Thought she'd be a little bit more educated to the consequences by now.

What the hell?

Oh, fuck it. How did you get?

Um, you're in a bar. The door is open.

What is going on?

Oh, Jason?

Um, Jason just came over to comfort me.

Yeah, comfort my ass.

Well, I came by to see how Tara was, but apparently the answer is horizontal.

But luckily, Jason, since you're here, I can ask you some questions about

Lafayette.

Questions about Lafayette?

Like what?

I went to Fantasia last night.

Damn it, Sookie!

You know how I feel about that place.

My support group says that place ain't nothing but a den for darkness and evil.

I had to go get information or else this will continue to happen. That ass Bill!

You know he's one of them famed fuckers?

Jason!

What? And just why are you getting so defensive?

Look, I'm just saying.

Look, ever since I joined my support group, right? Oh, here we go with this

goddamn shit again.

I'm so tired of hearing about this support group shit.

That group more like it.

First it's them bloodsuckers, then it's the black folks. Next thing you know,

Kanye West back on TV saying something crazy again. It's just a circle of

fucking hate.

Let him finish.

Thank you.

Anyways, as I was saying, since I joined my support group, I feel like now I can

open up to people, right?

And just how much did you open up to them, Jason?

Yeah, Jason, just how much. And did you tell them about Lafayette selling you

that vampire blood?

Huh? Did you? Did you tell them that he's applied you with that V?

All right.

What happened was, I started telling the support group about my experience, you

know, with taking the V.

Trust me, I didn't want to, but I felt like I had to.

Oh,

my God.

Oh,

my God.

My throat.

My throat.

Yeah.

So the tummy's a little fucking bit harder.

Thank you.

And before I knew it, these two girls, right, they started hanging on my every

word.

I tried to ignore them, I swear I did, but it was like the excitement, it

my fire even more.

Before I knew it, I had spilled everything.

So, let me get this straight.

You girls want to...

Buy some vampire's blood for me.

A vampire.

Yes, sir.

I love virgins.

Oh, my goodness. How does he know?

You want it really bad, don't you?

Do whatever you can to get it.

Uh -huh.

Do whatever I want.

And you'll tell me how you heard about it, won't you?

Yes, sir.

Good girl.

So you're looking for V.

Aren't you cute?

And you're virgins.

We love virgins.

So pretty.

Why don't you kiss each other?

That's not so bad, is it?

Does it feel good?

I don't know.

All the way down.

I love

you.

Who was it that told you about the vampire's blood?

Someone told us they had a dealer.

Lafayette was his name, I think. Who told you?

What's their name?

Jason.

Jason Beckham.

I've got to go fix this.

I know you know something about Lafayette's death. I heard you think it.

Did you just barge into my establishment and call me a murderer?

I should kill you just for thinking that. Just like you killed my friend?

Not that I owe you any kind of an answer, but I indeed headed over to see

Lafayette the other night to teach him a lesson about retailers.

But by the time I got there, life had already been taken.

Unfortunately, I never got the chance to touch him.

He'd already been touched.

Deeply.

But if you didn't do it, then who did?

I don't know.

But what I do know is that you have very special powers.

You're a very special young lady.

She's mine, Eric. Don't you ever try to touch her again.

Who do you think you are?

Bullshit, Eric. You know it. I make the rules here.

Fuck your rules. I fucking hate you.

Aw, just when I thought we were becoming friends.

That's enough, Eric.

What do you want?

I want Cookie to tell me where her snitch of a brother is.

I'd rather have cancer.

I'll never tell you where Jason is. You'd have to kill me first.

My pleasure.

You know the rules, Bill.

I'll catch up with you later.

Oh, Bill.

Thank you so much.

I just want to know who did this.

I'm sorry.

I'm just so scared.

Listen to me, Sochi.

I won't ever let any harm come to you.

I know.

That's why I love you.

I've been alone a long time in the dark.

And you're my light, Sookie Stackhouse.

And I'm going to make sure you continue to shine.

Mm.

Mm. Mm.

Mm. Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

All right.

you

You like that?

Oh.

Oh, wait.

um oh

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, God.

I fucking love it. All those inside me.

God, you're up.

Oh, my God.

Whoa.

Huh.

Boy, I just can't keep like that.

Oh my god.

when you put me like that.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck.

This is so good.

Fuck, just like that. Just like that.

Oh, God.

Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck.

Yes, there

you

go.

Shit.

I can't. oh oh

Bill?

Bill, where are you?

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Jesus, Bill, where are you? It's chilly out here.

I'm right over here, Sookie.

What are you doing here impersonating my boyfriend?

Aren't you cute?

Sam is right to love you like he does.

Do I know you?

Because if I don't, you're being very rude, disgusting my personal life and

pretending to be my boyfriend so early in the morning.

You're about to know me, my dear.

I'm going to sacrifice you like I did Lafayette.

So it was you who killed Lafayette. And now, my dear, I'm going to sacrifice

you. Me? Why?

Because you're special, my darling.

A lucky me.

Enough of this.

Less talk, more sacrificing.

Prepare to fucking die.

Oh, what's he going to do? He's a vampire.

Break out of his coffin and fight off his burning flesh to protect you?

He may. You really don't understand men. How sweet.

And naive.

Sam, please help!

You must be joking.

What's that wimp going to do? Turn into an animal and maul me? I don't think so.

Oh, did I hurt your feelings?

Think again bitch.

Things are getting really weird around here.

Yesterday's gone, roll on tomorrow.

Fifteen state lines, can't leave behind my sorrow.

I pull up in nowhere land.

I'm a lover.

I'm a liar.

She's a lover.

She's a liar.

The DJ's in my family.

The mark's on my trail.

The tears are my memory.

The king is on the radio.

Trapped in somewhere I don't know.

There's an amber, there was a fire.

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