All language subtitles for Up.The.Catalogue.2024.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.BZ]

I hate efforts, but the breaks, I love
the breaks.

It could be a quick mega deal offer,
though. Let's hope nobody could be.

But a mega deal offer doesn't mean it's
not going well. No, no, no, no, Jim, it

doesn't.

Do you think it's going well, Jim?

Could be a competition break.

Winner.

A long holiday, that sort of thing. Oh,
let's hope it's not like... We're

incredible.

We're not in a packed shot, are we?

Not too much round the eyes, please,
generally. They're under enough strain

it is.

Your eyes are incredible.

Hello? What are the numbers?

Can anyone hear me?

Hello? Everyone's wondering about the
numbers, please.

Everyone? I don't think so, darling.

I didn't mean everyone.

Don't sweat the small stuff. Focus on
the big picture.

What does that mean?

It means I loved the stuff you made up
about your...

Oh, what are you talking about? I said,
is Jeremy doing your makeup?

Yes, Jeremy's doing my makeup!

Yes.

Because Jeremy's a professional, isn't
he, Hayley? And Hayley needs

help, don't you, Hayley, darling?

Just, um, a little bit round the eyes,
please, Jeremy.

How are the numbers?

Doing what?

You know what.

You don't know what, do you?

I think I do.

Look, I really need the toilet. Can I,
um... Can I go?

Daniel? Yes.

Can I? No. But I'm dying for the... I
know, but I said no.

Daniel, please!

Don't say please just when we're back on
air in 5, 4, 2, 2...

The home of quality, quantity, quintity,
and no cues.

Now, I'm here with Kim Jelly, telling us
about his marvellous, marvellous

product. Kim Kelly. Yes, but your
marvellous, marvellous product.

Permanent bread.

Permanent bread.

Permanent bread.

Permanent. This is a bread which lasts
forever.

Literally.

Forever. Just think about that. Four
seconds.

Forever.

Making it even more personal, I have a
lovely little boy called...

My lovely little boy.

And sometimes when I finish work, and I
do sometimes finish work, I'm normally

tired and just need to feed the little
angel and feed him quickly because I'm

tired and he's starving.

I'm so sorry, it's not starving, of
course it's not. No, just in need of

food, of feeding little...

Little boy.

Now, I know what you're thinking, but I
am going to toast it for

him. Well, I was going to toast it and
serve it with a savoury spread.

But it's always the same.

You open the bag and... Yeah.

Disgusting, horrible little green spot.

Made up of not the stuff we love.

No, no, no, no, no, no. This is the
deadly stuff that we dread.

That.

That stuff.

But I know what you're thinking. But I
am going to go to the freezer. But no,

I'm not.

Because what's happened to the freezer?

I don't know.

And maybe it doesn't matter because now
the problem is spiralling. It's

definitely spiralling. And little boy
crying, not so lovely now, it's mouldy.

Mould!

The little green spot, mould. I knew
that, I knew that. Anyway, this is

ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever
going to happen with this because this

is permanent. And that's all I wanted to
say.

We have a caller.

And it's Derek,

is it?

How are you today, Derek, my love? Can
you hear us, Derek?

I'm Derek.

Derek, yes, Derek. And how are you
today, my love?

I'm Derek.

Yes, and how are you, Derek? How are
you?

I'm 92.

How old are you today?

I'm 92.

Yes.

And how are you today, Derek?

I'm 92.

Yes, yes, and we know you're 92.

And... How old are you?

No.

No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no.

And we know you're 92, Derek, and we're
very grateful for that. We really are.

And we're also grateful because today we
are talking about permanent bread,

Derek, yes?

Scared? Of what?

Nothing to worry about.

It is.

I might die.

Oh, Derek.

Yes, you... But then again, you might
not.

I will.

Everybody dies. I'm no different.

But you are.

I'm not.

But you are, Derek.

At least in the sense that everyone is.

Different.

Here at 4Q, we treat all our customers
as individuals. I'm still going to die,

aren't I? Yes, Derek, yes, you are. I
suppose you are. Yes, you are going to

die. I told you, didn't I? But, Derek,
we are all going to die.

Yeah.

And then where will we... Seriously,

seriously, ladies and gentlemen, I would
really...

Oh, I would hate for you to miss out on
this.

Please, please, please.

Don't leave it a minute longer.

It's been an absolute pleasure, Jim, to
work with you. Yeah, no hard feelings.

Hard feelings?

Of course not.

Where do you think you're going?

Did I say you could leave?

We're on a break, aren't we?

No, Hayley.

4Q is on a break.

Which doesn't mean we're on a break.

It doesn't mean anything, actually, if
you think about it. So can't we at least

pretend to be professional?

Professional? Please don't question my
professionalism. I only need the toilet.

Don't take it so personally.

Hayley, sweetie, darling, you're taking
it too personally.

You can go to the toilet when I finish
talking to you. I've come down here

expressly to talk to you. I didn't know
that you came expressly to talk to me.

Is there a problem?

No problem.

It feels like there's a problem.

I promise. No problem.

If you think you're still in repertoire,
there might be a problem.

Repertoire?

Repertoire? I don't think I'm in
repertoire.

You still don't understand, do you?

Oh,

Hayley.

No. Do you want to hear what I've got to
say?

You were wonderful, darling.

Absolutely wonderful.

Loved it, loved it, loved it. You're
breaking records, Hayley. You're totally

smashing it.

Now follow me.

And we're on in 30 seconds!

No, no, Daniel, you said I could go.

Positions, everyone!

No, no, I can't. I can't. I can't. I
can't do this. I can't. I might wet

As long as you're behind this table,
darling, I don't care what you do with

bottom half.

Might even perk things up. I only need
the toilet.

Say it to someone who cares.

Like who?

Like a professional doctor, maybe? I do
not need a... I'm Dr.

Culpepper.

Doctor.

I only need the toilet.

Oh, I can help you with that. No, no.
No, no, I promise, I'm fine.

Don't I know you, Doctor...? Culpepper.

Doctor Culpepper. Good morning, Hayley.

Morning? It can't still be. Can it,
morning?

I am a doctor.

No, no, no, no, I'm just struggling,
struggling to believe that it is still

morning. Daniel!

Hayley, look at me, Hayley.

Hayley, I am a doctor. If you say so.

No, but I am.

I know you are.

So you trust me. Yes, yes, no, of
course, of course, I trust you.

And five, four, cue, two, action.

Four cue, four cue, four cue, and four
cue.

Welcome back to four cue.

The home of quality, quantity, quantity
and no cues.

Today I am joined by a... Doctor. A
doctor. A

doctor. A professional doctor.

Now, working here as a professional,
there are some products that you hear

weeks before launch.

And when you find out what that product
is, the hype having been almost...

You find yourself wondering, could this
really be the answer?

Oh, it is definitely the answer.

You see, we don't know everything yet.

Whether it's stress or diet or alcohol
or diesel fumes or just the way we

live.

Did you have to be a professional to do
that then?

What do you mean exactly?

Do you need to be qualified, qualified
to do this?

Well, I am qualified, yes, to do this.

Here.

Moi? Oh.

But do you really think I need it?

Well, don't you want it?

No, I do. I want it. I want it. Of
course I want it. But it won't perfect

affectionalism, will it, Doctor?

It's quite delicious.

Is it really?

Why didn't you say it was delicious?

All gone.

Ladies and gentlemen, that really was
delicious.

Now, I am beginning to feel, I mean,
I've always felt that we can trust this

doctor. But now even more so, because
that really was delicious.

Now, Hayley, I'm not going to ask you a
question.

I'm sorry, what?

I said I'm not going to ask you a
question to see whether you remember the

answer. But it's very important that you
remember not to say it out loud.

Hmm.

Don't understand.

No, no, Hayley. Remember, don't answer.

Are you ready?

Yes, I'm ready.

Wow, that's amazing.

That... That actually worked.

Well, that actually depends on your
actual answer.

My answer? You don't know my answer.

Only because you didn't forget not to
tell me. Was I supposed to forget not to

tell you? Not if it's working already.

What's working?

You remember.

You remember.

You remember.

I don't understand. But if you read the
fine print, you'll see that terms and

conditions may have... I have no idea
what you're talking about. That's what I

was about to say. That was my answer.

And that's the correct answer.

Well done, Hayley. And thank you.

But do you think you could have managed
that two minutes ago?

Maybe.

And that's definitely a vast improvement
on before.

I suppose so. Oh, yes.

So even if you didn't answer correctly,
it's crystal clear that you still

need... Oh, we have a caller.

We aren't quite ready for Oscar yet. No,
no, we have a caller. We have a caller,

and it's Oscar.

Oscar, how are you, lovely?

Is your name really Oscar?

What a lovely name.

What do you make of this wonder product?

You remember?

Not much, really.

Do you?

Yes, yes, of course, of course I do.
But, Oscar, darling, this isn't about

This is about you.

You remember?

You mean the medicine, don't you?

Of course I mean...

No, I mean the product.

Of course I... I mean the product. What
else could I mean?

It doesn't matter.

No, it... It does.

It does matter.

It does.

I was just thinking maybe we could...
Oscar!

I'm so sorry, but...

It's okay.

Please, don't worry. It's not okay.

Sorry, but I really need to go.

Daniel?

Happy now?

I just need to wash my hands.

What time is it?

Showtime, darling. Why won't you just
tell me? Because it doesn't make a

difference.

If you must know, it's still morning.

Morning? It can't be.

Well, it is.

And we're on a schedule.

It actually worked.

What?

The product.

You remember?

Yeah, I don't think so. No, really, I...
I think I remember

something.

Something important.

What it is, Hayley, is I really don't
care.

Come on, we haven't got all night.

Sweetie, darling, I want to help you,
but if you don't let me help you, how

I help you? If you let me help you, I
would help you, but you don't let me

you.

I don't know what's come over me. I
just... I feel so... Why are you always

moaning? I'm not.

Am I?

I just want to go to my dressing room.

Your dressing room?

Why are you so desperate to go back
there?

I'm more than happy to deduct the
options, Hayley, if you're not up for

I am. I am up for it. I'm really up for
it.

That's what they all say.

Who? Who do you think?

You're not special, Hayley.

I could replace you just like this.

You're just a totally washed -up...

Which, unfortunately, makes you perfect.

Perfect? Perfect? For what?

What are you talking about?

Inspiration for your character.

My character?

Very good, Hayley, yes. I'm so glad we
could find some time for me to help you

with your character.

Are you worried about some of the
product demonstrators being so much

than you?

No.

Why would I be worried about that?

Unless you're planning to replace me
with a product demonstrator.

Is that what you're going to do? Are you
going to replace me? Stop being so

paranoid.

Totally, you are, Hilly. Totally
paranoid.

I don't mind.

And so when your carrots are getting
paranoid that some jammy whore is going

take your place, that's all I'm saying.

She looks gorgeous, doesn't she? Hayley,
tell Jemima she looks gorgeous.

No, I'm fine.

Thank you, Jemima. But thank you for
asking. But can I just say, you're

gorgeous today, Jemima. Just really so
gorgeous.

Amazing effort.

Yes, a lot of effort. But definitely,
definitely worth it, Jemima.

It wasn't actually an effort.

Oh, you just said you made an effort.

Boring. Hayley, you're so... It's a
little contradictory.

What if it's no effort to make an
effort?

Next to you, Hayley, Jammie's an
absolute winner. Can we please not make

into a competition?

You are staying competitive.

No, to my mind, no.

It's OK.

You know, I'm just a bit surprised you
haven't made any effort at all. I don't

have time to make an effort.

But, of course, I made an effort.

But I don't think the viewers at home
are thinking about that, about me.

Because, believe it or not, this is
about you.

And what we would really love to know is
what you will be demonstrating here as

a product demonstrator on Fuck You.

What expression?

What expression?

What?

Expression what? You are here to
demonstrate expression.

No, what expression?

What on earth have you got to do with
expression?

I'm an actress. I don't mean to be rude,
but excuse me, what did you just say?

I'm an actress.

I thought you were a product.

Yeah, I am, but I'm not actressing now.

No, of course not, but I... Are you,
really? Are you really an actor?

No, I'm an actress.

But what sort of actor are you, Jemima?

If you don't mind me asking, only if you
don't mind me asking.

A working actress. No, that's not what I
meant.

A successful working actress.

That's definitely not what I meant.

Not at all.

I'm sure you're successful. Very
successful.

But if you were a real actor... I'm not
a porn star.

Jemima. Oh, my poor darling girl. No.

No. No.

I wasn't talking about being a porn
star.

Just to be clear, Jemima is not one of
those type of actors. Are

you, Jemima?

I mean...

Are you?

Are you?

No, I am not. Absolutely not.

I was an actor once. A real actor.

I was, too. And if you were a real
actor, you would probably recognise me

the many roles and stages and things I
had performed in and on.

Like what?

Like, oh, so many, so many...

Wonderful things.

I don't know.

The effort, mainly.

I had a great career.

I was, I was just, I was just saying
that. Well, can we just get on with it,

please, Jemima, please?

This is the gorgeous moth expression
kit.

What comes looking exactly like this.

Now, I don't know if you've noticed, but
I have had a little bit of work done.

Work done?

To my face.

Have you really, Jemima?

Yeah, of course I have. I'm an actress.

And you don't find that to be a problem?

Well, actually, there's not a problem.
No. No, no, no. I'm sure this work you

say you've had done to your face has
never been a problem for your acting.

The problem is when I'm not actressing.
Actressing?

Actressing? I have no idea what you're
talking about.

Well, I'm talking about, like, the
private me, like the real Jemima.

Jemima's a... Don't say human. ..human
being who, like, sometimes would love to

show all the other very, very beautiful
human beings in her life, like, and

in her private life and in her love
life, just a little bit more of the real

Jemima Hall.

Awful story.

Oh, let me tell you about it. So it is
awful when my man has bought me

really expensive.

Ooh! Yeah, like really expensive.

And I only find out how expensive
because he's paid for it on my credit

Oh, Jemima.

And all I can do is this.

That is rather complex, though, Jemima.
Why don't we set the bar at a more basic

level, like...

Oh, like, when I'm enjoying myself,
like, enjoying myself downstairs.

No, Jemima, no.

Jemima, I think you've... I'm really
trying. I know, I think you've expressed

enough already. I think I know what the
problem is here.

Is what you're saying is that your face
no longer works?

No, no, I'm not, no. My face still
works, it just doesn't show it works.

So you're like 50?

No. No, no.

Say it, Hayley, say you feel like... No.

Really easy, open vaulted, which is
really nice. I find it's very easy to

this kit.

You're not a doctor, are you? I'm not a
doctor.

I'm not sure.

Why is that so hard for you to
understand?

You need to get shouting.

I'm only shouting because I need to show
you how upset I am. But you should try

acting, darling.

You want me to be a doctor? I can be a
doctor.

I wasn't asked to be a doctor, but... I
have played a doctor before. I just

don't think I would believe you in that
role.

Oh, like you know a real doctor.

I've had thousands of doctors, thank you
very much. It's not my type of doctors,

you don't. Or no doctors.

No, plastic ones. What, plastic doctors?

Plastic surgeons.

Oh, I thought you wanted to be a doctor.

Don't you?

That's interesting to do.

Don't you think we should get a doctor,
Jemima? A real...

Doctor. You don't even need a real
doctor for this.

That is what the good -looking marketing
man at What Expression wanted me to

say, but it is actually true.

You don't even need to pretend to be a
real doctor.

Oh! Just a little squeeze, like this.

And then my cheeks.

And then eyes.

Some eyebrows.

You don't need much.

Some areas might need a little bit more
than others.

Those disgusting clothes.

Are you okay, Jemima?

I'm not

even

joking! I'm actually laughing!

Ask me to read something!

Ask me! Ask me for an expression!

You're not a performing monkey, Jemima.

Jemima, stop, stop. Now, we have a
caller.

We have a caller.

And it's Leslie.

Leslie, that's more like it. How are
you, Leslie?

Leslie, what can we do for you today?

Oh, it's all right, Leslie. It's all
right.

Now, what do you make of what
expression?

I'm sorry, but... I just wanted to know,
and don't laugh at me, but does it do

emotion as well?

Emotion? How do you mean, Leslie Love?

Does it help you to feel the emotion
behind the expression?

Not 100 % sure I'm with you.

Feel? How?

It's just that, and I don't know
anything, but when I saw you on stage,

was so much emotion in your expression.

Oh, thank you!

No, Jemima, no, Leslie said... Stage?

Didn't you, Leslie? You must have seen
me on the stage.

Maybe I did, yeah.

Don't know where, but maybe.

Oh, Leslie, I think you would have
remembered if you had.

I'll always remember the first time I
saw Jemima Hoare on stage.

I'm not just saying this, but you're the
reason I want to be an actress.

Leslie, that's an awful thing to admit.

Don't listen to her, Leslie.

If you want to be an actress... I know
some amazing people who can fix you up.

Leslie doesn't need fixing up. Do you
really mean that? Yes, I do.

No, I meant Jemima.

Do I look like I mean it?

You do.

You really, really do. She doesn't. She
does.

My dream is to act one day with you,
Jammie.

Sorry, can I call you Jammie?

Of course you can. All my friends call
me Jammie.

Thank you. Jell -o much.

Jammie Hall.

Hey!

I said only my friends can call me that.
But you are the jammy whore. I can't

believe that we're friends.

Thank you, Leslie.

But if you're not serious about the
product, what expression, and you just

to call up about your acting fantasies,
we are going to have to leave it there.

Wait. No, please.

Jemima, does what expression do emotion
as well?

But that's completely irrelevant.

Not to acting it isn't, Leslie.

Don't listen to her.

Emotion is everything in acting.

I know. It's even more important than
expression.

That's what I thought.

Obviously. Obviously. But emotion
doesn't come with this. Can you please

let Jammie talk about acting?

Just remember, Leslie, if you express
beauty, you are beautiful. Such good

advice.

But first you need to become beautiful.

Leslie, Leslie, please, please don't
listen to this jammy whore.

All that glitters is not gold.

Did you just say glitters?

You just said glitters, didn't you? You
mean glisters. All that glitters is not

gold. You said glitters.

I didn't. Yes, you did.

You did.

She said glitters. What if I did?

Well, you disrespect the bards, don't
you?

All that glisters is not gold.

Many a man his life has sold. But my
outside soup beholds. Wow.

No, Leslie.

No, not wow.

Shakespeare is not clever. What's your
favourite monologue?

Can we not? Can we not do this?

Chekhov.

When the curtain goes up and in a room
with three walls and artificial

No, Jemima!

No! No, don't stop, Jemima.

What's her problem?

What's your problem?

You're so jealous.

Jealous?

No, Leslie, no, no, not jealous.

I'll show you. I'll show you.

When

the

curtain goes up, and in the room... A
room.

It's A, not B.

A room. B room.

A room. That is not what this is about.

When the curtain goes up, and in a
room...

What is the line?

Don't tell her, Gemma.

Don't tell her the line. I don't know
who you're supposed to be, but stay out

this! I would!

Do you want to, um, do you want to see a
range of emotions?

Is that it?

Yeah. Right.

In the... When the curtain goes up.

And in a room.

When the curtain goes up! And in a room
with three walls and artificial lights.

About Jovial.

When the curtain goes up.

When the curtain goes up.

And in a room.

Tragedy?

When the curtain goes up. When the
curtain goes up. And in a room with

walls. And in a room with three walls.

Great genius.

Oh, Jammie.

Oh, Leslie, my darling.

I'm only actressing.

But, Jammie, that was so powerful.

Going to make a wonderful actress.

Actually, no, I don't think she is. If
she can get the work done, she will do.

I will.

Somehow I'll find a way.

Leslie, I'm sorry to have to tell you
this, but it was obvious from the moment

saw you that whatever work you get done
to your face, you will never be a real

actor. Too plain, too boring, on the
inside.

You can't!

Thank you, Jammie.

Hello, my darling.

Hi.

What can I do you for?

Please, just keep going.

Going? Yes, I'm going to... Oh, is he...

Oh, my God, he is.

He was, you know. He wasn't. He was!

Ladies and gentlemen... Boys and girls,
just to be clear, Carlos was not doing

whatever it was that Jemima was
suggesting. He was... Oh, he's got me in

mood.

Carlos has made me want to express all
over.

I can't. I can't let you do that. No,
you're not.

They're all empty.

They're all just off the show, aren't
they?

It's all fake.

We'll be all fake when you think about
it.

And even if it is fake, is it too much
to ask that any of the...

Actually works or means anything.

I wonder if any of you actually expect
any of it to work.

Do you?

Or are you just desperate and lonely?

And you're trying to fill that hole,
that gaping hole that drains my life of

meaning. And the more you try to fill
it, the emptier...

Pressure.

Thank you. Yes, it is Daniel. It's
really... Where

are

we?

Thank you so much.

Am I in trouble?

Do you want to press the button?

Is that it, Hayley?

You can press the button.

Press the button.

Press the button.

Press the button. Press it.

Press it.

Press it.

Press it.

Press the button.

Press the button.

Press it.

Press it.

Press it.

Press the button.

Press the button.

Press it.

Press it.

What on earth have you got to be
thankful for?

Excuse me?

What have you got to be thankful for,
Hayley?

I don't know, but... So much, don't I?
Do you? Do I?

I'm asking you, Hayley.

Um... Well, you asked me to press the
button, so I just thought I would press

the...

So you're not grateful?

No, I am.

What for?

Well, so much. So much to be grateful
for. I don't know, for...

Letting

me sleep?

Letting you sleep?

Thank you so much for letting me sleep.

You really are being so brave, Hayley.

Thank you for being so brave. If I'm in
trouble, I wish you would just tell me.

Did I ever tell you about Maureen?

No. I don't suppose I did, did I?

No, don't interrupt!

Everyone loved poor little Maureen. She
was a trooper, an absolute trooper. Kept

her little wheel.

Spinning. Round and round and round and
round. Wheel?

What's up?

Or was it all just an act?

Things seemed to be going so well for
Maureen Haley when, in a moment of...

Let's not call it paranoia, but for the
sake of

argument, passion, Maureen suddenly bit.

One of our demonstrators.

Maureen did what?

What live on earth? Only a little nip on
the finger. But please don't interrupt

again, Hayley.

She might have got away with it.

But for the naughty swear word that
followed, Maureen might have escaped

unscathed. Well, she wouldn't have
escaped.

Not unscathed.

But where do you draw the line, Hayley?

Naughty swear word?

Yes.

What naughty swear word? Oh, you know.

Only an innocent little bloody hell.

Bloody hell?

Nothing even that serious when you think
about it, is it, Hayley Whaley?

So... Maureen bit one of the
demonstrators,

but you're angry because she swore?

No one wants to hear it, do they?

What? The naughty swear word. Look, if I
am in trouble, I wish you would just

tell me. Oh, bloody hell, Hayley. I'm
telling you a story and all you can do

think it's about you. Stop being so
grotesque.

Grotesque?

What happened before I fell asleep?

Don't you care about what happened to
Maureen?

Yes.

Yes, I do care what happened to Maureen.
It's just...

to Maureen.

How can I put this?

Gently. Hayley, so you don't take it the
wrong way.

Maureen was...

Don't worry. She didn't feel a

thing.

You had Maureen killed for swearing.

You make it sound so dramatic.

Maureen was only supposed to add some,
you know, fur to proceedings.

Some fur to... You killed someone!

That is it.

talking about 4Q 4Q 4Q what's that
supposed to be the no Q thing

that doesn't make any sense it does
actually

thinks she's a hamster.

A what?

The hamster in the story.

The what?

The hamster in the story.

Well, she's a hamster.

A hamster? Why didn't you tell me?

I wanted it to be a surprise.

A what?

Surprise.

That's an owl.

Yes.

Maureen, the owl.

Fork you, Maureen.

Fork you.

Fork you, fork you, fork you. Fork you,
Maureen.

Fork you, Daniel.

How long's it been?

Not that long, Maureen.

Feels like yesterday.

And you haven't aged a whisker. You mean
feather?

I meant feather.

You're too sweet, you know you are.

But now, who's this lovely young lady
here?

Oh, you mean... Hayley.

You said Maureen was a hamster. You said
she was a hamster. I was supposed to

eat hamster.

Maureen. Give it a second, will you,
love? No, I know what I'm doing here,

Daniel. You have to trust me. I do trust
you, Maureen, I do. But remember the

fork you small print.

She really likes you.

I can tell.

I'm so pleased for you, Hayley.

Great, really great. Well, I need to go.
I just need to leave.

So do I.

Just need you to leave.

But first, I'm offering you the chance
to rent Maureen.

To rent her?

Yes. All our departing staff are
encouraged to rent Maureen, no matter

pleased we are to see them leave.

But before you fully commit to each
other, I'm supposed to read you your

conjugal rights.

Conjugal what?

Rights. But don't worry, we don't really
call them that, Hayley. We prefer to

call them Maureen's rental rights.

Maureen, the companion owl, comes on a
maximum contract, paper on subscription

basis, price depending on the intensity
of the relationship.

I'm not looking to get into a
relationship with an owl. Insofar as you

prepared to really commit to Maureen, to
fall in love with Maureen and to share

all of your most intimate secrets and
personal moments with Maureen, the price

starts to fall.

Dramatically fall, Hayley, dramatically.

Are you following?

No, I don't think I am following, no.

If you were to say marry Maureen... No!
I don't want to marry Maureen! I don't

want to... No, Maureen! I heard that.

Maureen.

Sam.

What do you want?

I don't want anything.

Thank you, Daniel.

But no thank you. Give her a chance,
Maureen. Now I did.

I'd rather you switch me off.

Please, just put me out of this.

What do you want, then, Hayley?

Nothing. I don't want anything. What do
you really want? I just want to get out

of here. You can tell me, Hayley. I just
did. I just want to go outside, maybe,

even just for a bit. What are you going
to do outside?

I don't know.

Don't be so depressing, Hayley -ana. I
don't mean to be depressing. I just want

to go to my dressing room, just to get
my stuff.

That's it. I want to go to my dressing
room, get my stuff and just go. I

you thought you were a really great
actor.

You don't want to be in a film.

What film?

Don't worry, I'll tell them you're not
interested. I'll tell them Hayley's not

even listening to offers. Offers? What
offers?

Doesn't matter, though. But I'll tell
them Hayley doesn't want to be in a film

because Hayley just wants to go to her
dressing room. But I didn't know that I

had an offer to be in a film. You didn't
say.

Didn't I?

No, I don't think you did. Did you?

But you don't want to be in a film
anyway, Hayley, which is probably why I

didn't tell you. No, but I want to know
if I've been offered a role in a film,

that is. I want to know.

I don't think I'm too worked up about
Hayley. It's only a silly little role in

silly little film. But it's still a
film, isn't it? If you had any real

ambition, you'd want to be in the video
game. Have I been offered a video game?

No, who'd want to put you in a video
game? I don't want to be in a video

But you want to be in a film, don't you?
Maybe.

Because you just love film.

Yes, I do, actually.

Follow Steve.

Off you go.

Where

are we

going? Shh!

It's...

We're here.

You've got to stop doing that.

Doing what?

Changing it up all the time.

Changing what? Just stop it, will you?
And you need to face more this way.

We're here.

We made it.

It's getting hot, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah, no, it is.

It's really, really hot.

Thank you.

It is hot, yes.

And are you thirsty?

Yes, I am. Very thirsty.

Are you hungry as well?

Yeah, yeah. I'm absolutely starving.

Whole Aid really fills you up.

It's like a bottomless pit.

I'm not meant to say that.

They'll never use it.

Who won't? Oh, for Pete's sake.

I can't do this. I just can't.

It's both our heads on the line here.

I'm not doing it again. I won't.

Fine. Nor will I.

Because Holate really has filled me up.

Well, that was pretty good.

Why don't you just do that the first
time?

Do what?

Remember your lines.

My line?

I didn't...

What the...

Hi, Daniel.

Yes. Hi, Hayley. So nice to see you
again, Daniel.

I'm afraid you forgot the most important
thing.

Hole aid.

Hole aid? Yes.

They just want to do one more take,
exactly the same, but holding this.

You don't understand.

I don't need that anymore.

No, you don't understand.

Hole aid are paying for all this.

All what?

The film.

What film?

The film about me helping you get all
your stuff from your dressing room.

not helping me.

You're ruining this for me.

How dare you?

How dare you say that?

Believe me, they wouldn't use you at
all. Is it going to be like this?

It was you who wanted to make the film
in the first place. I just wanted to go

back to my dressing room.

Exactly!

We get upset.

But you...

Wouldn't I?

I'm very happy for you.

I'm happy you finally found your
character.

My character?

I know.

Depressing, isn't she?

Fuck you.

Que vais -je faire ? Vers quel néant

glissera ma vie ? Tu m 'as

laissé la terre entière

Mais la terre sans toi c

'est petit Vous mes amis

Soyez gentils, vous savez bien que l 'on
y

est.

What expression?

What expression?

What

expression?

What expression?

What expression?

What expression?

What expression?

What expression?

What expression?

Thank you.