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Yesterday marked one year since Trump's
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Yesterday marked one year since Trump's
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Yesterday marked one year since Trump's
inauguration. That's like one and a half
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inauguration. That's like one and a half
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inauguration. That's like one and a half
popes ago.
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popes ago.
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popes ago.
RIP to a real one. I will find your
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RIP to a real one. I will find your
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RIP to a real one. I will find your
killer.
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killer.
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killer.
So Trump decided to crash the White
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So Trump decided to crash the White
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So Trump decided to crash the White
House press briefing to tout his
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House press briefing to tout his
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House press briefing to tout his
accomplishments, but also to do some
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accomplishments, but also to do some
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accomplishments, but also to do some
prop comedy.
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prop comedy.
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prop comedy.
>> Here's uh the book on accomplishments.
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>> Here's uh the book on accomplishments.
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>> Here's uh the book on accomplishments.
And this is something I'm glad my finger
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And this is something I'm glad my finger
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And this is something I'm glad my finger
wasn't in that sucker. That could have
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wasn't in that sucker. That could have
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wasn't in that sucker. That could have
done some damage, but you know what? I
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done some damage, but you know what? I
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done some damage, but you know what? I
wouldn't have shown the pain. And I
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wouldn't have shown the pain. And I
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wouldn't have shown the pain. And I
would have acted like nothing happened
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would have acted like nothing happened
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would have acted like nothing happened
as my finger fell off. That was a nasty
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as my finger fell off. That was a nasty
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as my finger fell off. That was a nasty
I think somebody did that.
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I think somebody did that.
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I think somebody did that.
[laughter]
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[laughter]
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[laughter]
>> Wait, wait, wait. First of all, is
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>> Wait, wait, wait. First of all, is
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>> Wait, wait, wait. First of all, is
finger falling off something you think
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finger falling off something you think
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finger falling off something you think
could happen to you?
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could happen to you?
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could happen to you?
Is that on the menu? Like, I thought you
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Is that on the menu? Like, I thought you
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Is that on the menu? Like, I thought you
had the best health report of all time.
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had the best health report of all time.
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had the best health report of all time.
Now you're telling me fingers are
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Now you're telling me fingers are
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Now you're telling me fingers are
falling off like it's autumn.
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falling off like it's autumn.
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falling off like it's autumn.
Now you might think this is just a stack
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Now you might think this is just a stack
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Now you might think this is just a stack
of blank papers. or maybe if you're
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of blank papers. or maybe if you're
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of blank papers. or maybe if you're
feeling generous, pictures of boobs. But
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feeling generous, pictures of boobs. But
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feeling generous, pictures of boobs. But
this file was actually filled with
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this file was actually filled with
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this file was actually filled with
Trump's accomplishments, which is why
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Trump's accomplishments, which is why
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Trump's accomplishments, which is why
Trump treated it with the respect, care,
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Trump treated it with the respect, care,
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Trump treated it with the respect, care,
and pride it deserved.
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and pride it deserved.
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and pride it deserved.
>> But look at this. These are all each to
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>> But look at this. These are all each to
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>> But look at this. These are all each to
line is something that we did. Nobody
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line is something that we did. Nobody
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line is something that we did. Nobody
did that before.
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did that before.
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did that before.
And it's it's big stuff, too. Look, we
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And it's it's big stuff, too. Look, we
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And it's it's big stuff, too. Look, we
have the hottest country in the world.
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have the hottest country in the world.
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have the hottest country in the world.
[cheering]
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>> Wow. Okay. Turns out Trump hates reading
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>> Wow. Okay. Turns out Trump hates reading
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>> Wow. Okay. Turns out Trump hates reading
more than he loves bragging. All right,
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more than he loves bragging. All right,
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more than he loves bragging. All right,
but look, whether you love what Trump's
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but look, whether you love what Trump's
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but look, whether you love what Trump's
done the past year or hate it, he has
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done the past year or hate it, he has
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done the past year or hate it, he has
been busy. Let's hear about some of
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been busy. Let's hear about some of
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been busy. Let's hear about some of
these incredible accomplishments with
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these incredible accomplishments with
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these incredible accomplishments with
bullet points like number 243, stripped
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bullet points like number 243, stripped
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bullet points like number 243, stripped
notorious crackhead and grifter Hunter
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notorious crackhead and grifter Hunter
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notorious crackhead and grifter Hunter
Biden of his taxpayer funded Secret
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Biden of his taxpayer funded Secret
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Biden of his taxpayer funded Secret
Service detail.
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Service detail.
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Service detail.
>> Notorious crackhead.
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>> Notorious crackhead.
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>> Notorious crackhead.
That may seem harsh, but name another
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That may seem harsh, but name another
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That may seem harsh, but name another
famous crackhead from the last 5 years.
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famous crackhead from the last 5 years.
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famous crackhead from the last 5 years.
I'll wait. To be fair, the bar on
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I'll wait. To be fair, the bar on
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I'll wait. To be fair, the bar on
crackhead notoriety is pretty low. Most
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crackhead notoriety is pretty low. Most
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crackhead notoriety is pretty low. Most
people don't know the names of too many
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people don't know the names of too many
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people don't know the names of too many
crackheads. Hell, most crackheads I know
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crackheads. Hell, most crackheads I know
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crackheads. Hell, most crackheads I know
don't even know their own names.
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don't even know their own names.
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don't even know their own names.
But look, Donald Trump is not about the
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But look, Donald Trump is not about the
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But look, Donald Trump is not about the
past. This man is about America's
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past. This man is about America's
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past. This man is about America's
future. Bringing one crackhead to
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future. Bringing one crackhead to
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future. Bringing one crackhead to
justice may have been Trump's biggest
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justice may have been Trump's biggest
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justice may have been Trump's biggest
first year accomplishment. He's been
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first year accomplishment. He's been
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first year accomplishment. He's been
very clear about what his second year
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very clear about what his second year
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very clear about what his second year
biggest accomplishment is going to be.
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biggest accomplishment is going to be.
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biggest accomplishment is going to be.
>> We need Greenland.
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>> We need Greenland.
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>> We need Greenland.
>> All we're asking for is to get Greenland
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>> All we're asking for is to get Greenland
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>> All we're asking for is to get Greenland
including right title and ownership.
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including right title and ownership.
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including right title and ownership.
We're talking about acquiring, not
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We're talking about acquiring, not
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We're talking about acquiring, not
leasing, not having a short term. We're
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leasing, not having a short term. We're
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leasing, not having a short term. We're
talking about acquiring. You need
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talking about acquiring. You need
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talking about acquiring. You need
ownership. You really need title as they
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ownership. You really need title as they
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ownership. You really need title as they
say in the real estate business.
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say in the real estate business.
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say in the real estate business.
>> You heard the man. We need Greenland. We
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>> You heard the man. We need Greenland. We
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>> You heard the man. We need Greenland. We
need it like well like Hunter Biden
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need it like well like Hunter Biden
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need it like well like Hunter Biden
needs crap. All right.
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needs crap. All right.
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needs crap. All right.
We're notorious Greenland heads. And
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We're notorious Greenland heads. And
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We're notorious Greenland heads. And
that's the type of dude he is. If Trump
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that's the type of dude he is. If Trump
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that's the type of dude he is. If Trump
wants something, he gets it. It's like
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wants something, he gets it. It's like
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wants something, he gets it. It's like
if you went out to a bar with your
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if you went out to a bar with your
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if you went out to a bar with your
friend and you saw a gorgeous woman
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friend and you saw a gorgeous woman
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friend and you saw a gorgeous woman
across the bar and then he turned to you
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across the bar and then he turned to you
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across the bar and then he turned to you
and said, "I'm going home with her
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and said, "I'm going home with her
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and said, "I'm going home with her
tonight." You may need to pay the tab
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tonight." You may need to pay the tab
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tonight." You may need to pay the tab
because your boy's about to smash.
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because your boy's about to smash.
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because your boy's about to smash.
That's just the kind of confidence
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That's just the kind of confidence
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That's just the kind of confidence
Donald Trump has. And that's why today
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Donald Trump has. And that's why today
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Donald Trump has. And that's why today
he flew to Davos to explain to Europe
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he flew to Davos to explain to Europe
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he flew to Davos to explain to Europe
why America should own Greenland.
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why America should own Greenland.
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why America should own Greenland.
>> No nation or group of nations is in any
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>> No nation or group of nations is in any
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>> No nation or group of nations is in any
position to be able to
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position to be able to
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position to be able to
secure Greenland other than the United
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secure Greenland other than the United
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secure Greenland other than the United
States. It's the United States alone
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States. It's the United States alone
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States. It's the United States alone
that can protect this giant mass of
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that can protect this giant mass of
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that can protect this giant mass of
land, this giant piece of ice, develop
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land, this giant piece of ice, develop
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land, this giant piece of ice, develop
it and improve it and make it so that
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it and improve it and make it so that
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it and improve it and make it so that
it's good for Europe and safe for Europe
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it's good for Europe and safe for Europe
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it's good for Europe and safe for Europe
and good for us.
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and good for us.
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and good for us.
>> That's right. It's huge, undeveloped in
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>> That's right. It's huge, undeveloped in
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>> That's right. It's huge, undeveloped in
a strategic location. It's like if your
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a strategic location. It's like if your
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a strategic location. It's like if your
grandma had a Manhattan apartment she
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grandma had a Manhattan apartment she
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grandma had a Manhattan apartment she
bought in 1950. Once she dies in it,
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bought in 1950. Once she dies in it,
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bought in 1950. Once she dies in it,
you're going to push her down the trash
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you're going to push her down the trash
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you're going to push her down the trash
shoot and live like a king.
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It all sounds great, but I do have one
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It all sounds great, but I do have one
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It all sounds great, but I do have one
problem. We already have a treaty with
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problem. We already have a treaty with
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problem. We already have a treaty with
Denmark that lets us build as many
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Denmark that lets us build as many
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Denmark that lets us build as many
military bases in Greenland as
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military bases in Greenland as
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military bases in Greenland as
necessary. I don't know why we need to
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necessary. I don't know why we need to
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necessary. I don't know why we need to
own Greenland to defend it.
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own Greenland to defend it.
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own Greenland to defend it.
>> You need the ownership to defend it. You
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>> You need the ownership to defend it. You
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>> You need the ownership to defend it. You
can't defend it on a lease. Number one,
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can't defend it on a lease. Number one,
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can't defend it on a lease. Number one,
legally, it's not defensible that way
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legally, it's not defensible that way
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legally, it's not defensible that way
totally. And number two,
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totally. And number two,
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totally. And number two,
psychologically, who the hell wants to
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psychologically, who the hell wants to
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psychologically, who the hell wants to
defend a license agreement or a lease?
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defend a license agreement or a lease?
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defend a license agreement or a lease?
>> I I guess I get what he means cuz you do
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>> I I guess I get what he means cuz you do
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>> I I guess I get what he means cuz you do
care less about things when they're not
232
00:04:31,510 --> 00:04:31,520
care less about things when they're not
233
00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:33,749
care less about things when they're not
yours. Like, a parent will do anything
234
00:04:33,749 --> 00:04:33,759
yours. Like, a parent will do anything
235
00:04:33,759 --> 00:04:35,430
yours. Like, a parent will do anything
to protect their kids, but if I'm
236
00:04:35,430 --> 00:04:35,440
to protect their kids, but if I'm
237
00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:41,110
to protect their kids, but if I'm
babysitting
238
00:04:41,110 --> 00:04:41,120
239
00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:42,469
You know what I mean? Like I I'll give
240
00:04:42,469 --> 00:04:42,479
You know what I mean? Like I I'll give
241
00:04:42,479 --> 00:04:43,990
You know what I mean? Like I I'll give
it a good college try, but at the end of
242
00:04:43,990 --> 00:04:44,000
it a good college try, but at the end of
243
00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:45,670
it a good college try, but at the end of
the day, he don't look like me. All
244
00:04:45,670 --> 00:04:45,680
the day, he don't look like me. All
245
00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:47,538
the day, he don't look like me. All
right?
246
00:04:47,538 --> 00:04:47,548
right?
247
00:04:47,548 --> 00:04:48,150
right?
[laughter]
248
00:04:48,150 --> 00:04:48,160
[laughter]
249
00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:49,830
[laughter]
But look, it really doesn't matter why
250
00:04:49,830 --> 00:04:49,840
But look, it really doesn't matter why
251
00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:51,670
But look, it really doesn't matter why
Trump wants something. The point is he
252
00:04:51,670 --> 00:04:51,680
Trump wants something. The point is he
253
00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:53,430
Trump wants something. The point is he
wants Greenland. And you can tell
254
00:04:53,430 --> 00:04:53,440
wants Greenland. And you can tell
255
00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:56,710
wants Greenland. And you can tell
because his focus is 100% on Greenland.
256
00:04:56,710 --> 00:04:56,720
because his focus is 100% on Greenland.
257
00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:59,749
because his focus is 100% on Greenland.
>> The president referred to Greenland as
258
00:04:59,749 --> 00:04:59,759
>> The president referred to Greenland as
259
00:04:59,759 --> 00:05:00,550
>> The president referred to Greenland as
Iceland.
260
00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:00,560
Iceland.
261
00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:02,790
Iceland.
>> I'm helping NATO and I and I've until
262
00:05:02,790 --> 00:05:02,800
>> I'm helping NATO and I and I've until
263
00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:04,870
>> I'm helping NATO and I and I've until
the last few days when I told them about
264
00:05:04,870 --> 00:05:04,880
the last few days when I told them about
265
00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:07,909
the last few days when I told them about
Iceland, they loved me.
266
00:05:07,909 --> 00:05:07,919
Iceland, they loved me.
267
00:05:07,919 --> 00:05:10,150
Iceland, they loved me.
Okay, anyone can slip up. All right,
268
00:05:10,150 --> 00:05:10,160
Okay, anyone can slip up. All right,
269
00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:12,230
Okay, anyone can slip up. All right,
obviously he doesn't mean Iceland. He's
270
00:05:12,230 --> 00:05:12,240
obviously he doesn't mean Iceland. He's
271
00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:13,990
obviously he doesn't mean Iceland. He's
not going to make that mistake three
272
00:05:13,990 --> 00:05:14,000
not going to make that mistake three
273
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:15,990
not going to make that mistake three
times in as many sentences.
274
00:05:15,990 --> 00:05:16,000
times in as many sentences.
275
00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:18,550
times in as many sentences.
>> They're not there for us on Iceland.
276
00:05:18,550 --> 00:05:18,560
>> They're not there for us on Iceland.
277
00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:20,469
>> They're not there for us on Iceland.
That I can tell you. I mean, our stock
278
00:05:20,469 --> 00:05:20,479
That I can tell you. I mean, our stock
279
00:05:20,479 --> 00:05:22,310
That I can tell you. I mean, our stock
market took the first dip yesterday
280
00:05:22,310 --> 00:05:22,320
market took the first dip yesterday
281
00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:24,710
market took the first dip yesterday
because of Iceland. So, Iceland's
282
00:05:24,710 --> 00:05:24,720
because of Iceland. So, Iceland's
283
00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:28,150
because of Iceland. So, Iceland's
already cost us a lot of money.
284
00:05:28,150 --> 00:05:28,160
already cost us a lot of money.
285
00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:30,070
already cost us a lot of money.
>> I'm just glad we got rid of the last guy
286
00:05:30,070 --> 00:05:30,080
>> I'm just glad we got rid of the last guy
287
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:33,510
>> I'm just glad we got rid of the last guy
whose brain didn't work.
288
00:05:33,510 --> 00:05:33,520
whose brain didn't work.
289
00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:34,950
whose brain didn't work.
But you know what? It doesn't matter
290
00:05:34,950 --> 00:05:34,960
But you know what? It doesn't matter
291
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,270
But you know what? It doesn't matter
what he said because when the man wants
292
00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:37,280
what he said because when the man wants
293
00:05:37,280 --> 00:05:39,029
what he said because when the man wants
something, he gets it.
294
00:05:39,029 --> 00:05:39,039
something, he gets it.
295
00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:40,790
something, he gets it.
>> We are following even more breaking
296
00:05:40,790 --> 00:05:40,800
>> We are following even more breaking
297
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:43,270
>> We are following even more breaking
news. President Trump now says he has
298
00:05:43,270 --> 00:05:43,280
news. President Trump now says he has
299
00:05:43,280 --> 00:05:46,150
news. President Trump now says he has
reached a quote framework deal on
300
00:05:46,150 --> 00:05:46,160
reached a quote framework deal on
301
00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:47,749
reached a quote framework deal on
Greenland.
302
00:05:47,749 --> 00:05:47,759
Greenland.
303
00:05:47,759 --> 00:05:49,990
Greenland.
>> What did I just say? All right. That
304
00:05:49,990 --> 00:05:50,000
>> What did I just say? All right. That
305
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,070
>> What did I just say? All right. That
crazy finger losing son of a did
306
00:05:52,070 --> 00:05:52,080
crazy finger losing son of a did
307
00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:55,430
crazy finger losing son of a did
it again. He got himself a deal. And you
308
00:05:55,430 --> 00:05:55,440
it again. He got himself a deal. And you
309
00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:57,029
it again. He got himself a deal. And you
know that deal includes owning
310
00:05:57,029 --> 00:05:57,039
know that deal includes owning
311
00:05:57,039 --> 00:05:58,150
know that deal includes owning
Greenland.
312
00:05:58,150 --> 00:05:58,160
Greenland.
313
00:05:58,160 --> 00:05:59,430
Greenland.
>> Does it still include the United States
314
00:05:59,430 --> 00:05:59,440
>> Does it still include the United States
315
00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:00,790
>> Does it still include the United States
having ownership of Greenland like
316
00:06:00,790 --> 00:06:00,800
having ownership of Greenland like
317
00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:02,390
having ownership of Greenland like
you've said you wanted?
318
00:06:02,390 --> 00:06:02,400
you've said you wanted?
319
00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:13,999
you've said you wanted?
>> Uh
320
00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:14,009
321
00:06:14,009 --> 00:06:14,790
>> [applause]
322
00:06:14,790 --> 00:06:14,800
>> [applause]
323
00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:16,469
>> [applause]
>> Wait,
324
00:06:16,469 --> 00:06:16,479
>> Wait,
325
00:06:16,479 --> 00:06:18,230
>> Wait,
wait a minute. That doesn't sound good.
326
00:06:18,230 --> 00:06:18,240
wait a minute. That doesn't sound good.
327
00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:22,309
wait a minute. That doesn't sound good.
That That's not the uh of ownership.
328
00:06:22,309 --> 00:06:22,319
That That's not the uh of ownership.
329
00:06:22,319 --> 00:06:24,710
That That's not the uh of ownership.
You at least got a deal, right, Trump?
330
00:06:24,710 --> 00:06:24,720
You at least got a deal, right, Trump?
331
00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:26,710
You at least got a deal, right, Trump?
Tell me you got a deal.
332
00:06:26,710 --> 00:06:26,720
Tell me you got a deal.
333
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,064
Tell me you got a deal.
>> Well, we have a concept of a deal.
334
00:06:29,064 --> 00:06:29,074
>> Well, we have a concept of a deal.
335
00:06:29,074 --> 00:06:30,710
>> Well, we have a concept of a deal.
[laughter]
336
00:06:30,710 --> 00:06:30,720
[laughter]
337
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:33,590
[laughter]
>> Concepts of a deal. You flew all the way
338
00:06:33,590 --> 00:06:33,600
>> Concepts of a deal. You flew all the way
339
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:36,950
>> Concepts of a deal. You flew all the way
to Davos for concepts of a deal. This is
340
00:06:36,950 --> 00:06:36,960
to Davos for concepts of a deal. This is
341
00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:39,430
to Davos for concepts of a deal. This is
so sad. Remember that friend at the bar
342
00:06:39,430 --> 00:06:39,440
so sad. Remember that friend at the bar
343
00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:40,870
so sad. Remember that friend at the bar
who went to approach the beautiful
344
00:06:40,870 --> 00:06:40,880
who went to approach the beautiful
345
00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:42,710
who went to approach the beautiful
woman? This is like if he just walked
346
00:06:42,710 --> 00:06:42,720
woman? This is like if he just walked
347
00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:44,390
woman? This is like if he just walked
back up and you're like, "Okay, well,
348
00:06:44,390 --> 00:06:44,400
back up and you're like, "Okay, well,
349
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:47,270
back up and you're like, "Okay, well,
what'd she say?" And he's like, "Oh,
350
00:06:47,270 --> 00:06:47,280
what'd she say?" And he's like, "Oh,
351
00:06:47,280 --> 00:06:53,350
what'd she say?" And he's like, "Oh,
her. Nah, nah. Uh, she a ghost."
352
00:06:53,350 --> 00:06:53,360
353
00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:55,749
Well, did you at least get her digits? I
354
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:55,759
Well, did you at least get her digits? I
355
00:06:55,759 --> 00:06:58,790
Well, did you at least get her digits? I
I got concepts of digits. Uh, I know
356
00:06:58,790 --> 00:06:58,800
I got concepts of digits. Uh, I know
357
00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:01,430
I got concepts of digits. Uh, I know
there's a seven in there somewhere.
358
00:07:01,430 --> 00:07:01,440
there's a seven in there somewhere.
359
00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:03,270
there's a seven in there somewhere.
You know what? This is all my bad for
360
00:07:03,270 --> 00:07:03,280
You know what? This is all my bad for
361
00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:04,870
You know what? This is all my bad for
thinking Trump's word is worth his
362
00:07:04,870 --> 00:07:04,880
thinking Trump's word is worth his
363
00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:07,110
thinking Trump's word is worth his
weight in gold because it's definitely
364
00:07:07,110 --> 00:07:07,120
weight in gold because it's definitely
365
00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:09,029
weight in gold because it's definitely
not gold. It's more like whatever
366
00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:09,039
not gold. It's more like whatever
367
00:07:09,039 --> 00:07:10,710
not gold. It's more like whatever
material they made that Titan
368
00:07:10,710 --> 00:07:10,720
material they made that Titan
369
00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:13,749
material they made that Titan
submersible out of.
370
00:07:13,749 --> 00:07:13,759
submersible out of.
371
00:07:13,759 --> 00:07:15,350
submersible out of.
What was that? Graham crackers or
372
00:07:15,350 --> 00:07:15,360
What was that? Graham crackers or
373
00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:17,110
What was that? Graham crackers or
something.
374
00:07:17,110 --> 00:07:17,120
something.
375
00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:18,790
something.
But maybe what Europe did here is a
376
00:07:18,790 --> 00:07:18,800
But maybe what Europe did here is a
377
00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:20,710
But maybe what Europe did here is a
lesson for the rest of us because Trump
378
00:07:20,710 --> 00:07:20,720
lesson for the rest of us because Trump
379
00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:22,629
lesson for the rest of us because Trump
barged into Davos like I want to own
380
00:07:22,629 --> 00:07:22,639
barged into Davos like I want to own
381
00:07:22,639 --> 00:07:25,350
barged into Davos like I want to own
Greenland and Europe just said no. And
382
00:07:25,350 --> 00:07:25,360
Greenland and Europe just said no. And
383
00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:27,350
Greenland and Europe just said no. And
in just six hours they worked him down
384
00:07:27,350 --> 00:07:27,360
in just six hours they worked him down
385
00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:29,510
in just six hours they worked him down
from owning Greenland to concepts of a
386
00:07:29,510 --> 00:07:29,520
from owning Greenland to concepts of a
387
00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:32,870
from owning Greenland to concepts of a
deal. So maybe saying no is something
388
00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:32,880
deal. So maybe saying no is something
389
00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:35,110
deal. So maybe saying no is something
more of us in America might want to try.
390
00:07:35,110 --> 00:07:35,120
more of us in America might want to try.
391
00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:37,029
more of us in America might want to try.
Instead of complying in advance, college
392
00:07:37,029 --> 00:07:37,039
Instead of complying in advance, college
393
00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:39,350
Instead of complying in advance, college
presidents, law firms, media outlets,
394
00:07:39,350 --> 00:07:39,360
presidents, law firms, media outlets,
395
00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:41,029
presidents, law firms, media outlets,
whoever keeps giving Trump that tacky
396
00:07:41,029 --> 00:07:41,039
whoever keeps giving Trump that tacky
397
00:07:41,039 --> 00:07:43,189
whoever keeps giving Trump that tacky
gold to put on his walls, just tell
398
00:07:43,189 --> 00:07:43,199
gold to put on his walls, just tell
399
00:07:43,199 --> 00:07:47,665
gold to put on his walls, just tell
that man no.
400
00:07:47,665 --> 00:07:47,675
401
00:07:47,675 --> 00:07:49,630
[cheering]
402
00:07:49,630 --> 00:07:49,640
[cheering]
403
00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:51,830
[cheering]
[applause]
404
00:07:51,830 --> 00:07:51,840
405
00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:53,909
>> In the meantime, good on Denmark for
406
00:07:53,909 --> 00:07:53,919
>> In the meantime, good on Denmark for
407
00:07:53,919 --> 00:07:55,749
>> In the meantime, good on Denmark for
standing its ground. You did it.
408
00:07:55,749 --> 00:07:55,759
standing its ground. You did it.
409
00:07:55,759 --> 00:07:57,510
standing its ground. You did it.
Although, if he changes his mind, you
410
00:07:57,510 --> 00:07:57,520
Although, if he changes his mind, you
411
00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,350
Although, if he changes his mind, you
might want to bulk up your defenses with
412
00:07:59,350 --> 00:07:59,360
might want to bulk up your defenses with
413
00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:01,350
might want to bulk up your defenses with
some of those binder clips just to be
414
00:08:01,350 --> 00:08:01,360
some of those binder clips just to be
415
00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:03,830
some of those binder clips just to be
safe. [cheering]
416
00:08:03,830 --> 00:08:03,840
safe. [cheering]
417
00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:05,589
safe. [cheering]
For more on Trump's campaign for
418
00:08:05,589 --> 00:08:05,599
For more on Trump's campaign for
419
00:08:05,599 --> 00:08:06,950
For more on Trump's campaign for
Greenland, let's go to our very own
420
00:08:06,950 --> 00:08:06,960
Greenland, let's go to our very own
421
00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:11,245
Greenland, let's go to our very own
Jordan Clipper. [screaming]
422
00:08:11,245 --> 00:08:11,255
423
00:08:11,255 --> 00:08:14,070
[applause]
424
00:08:14,070 --> 00:08:14,080
425
00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:15,350
>> Jordan, where are you,
426
00:08:15,350 --> 00:08:15,360
>> Jordan, where are you,
427
00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:17,350
>> Jordan, where are you,
>> Josh? I'm embedded with the American
428
00:08:17,350 --> 00:08:17,360
>> Josh? I'm embedded with the American
429
00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:19,909
>> Josh? I'm embedded with the American
Invasion Force. President Trump said he
430
00:08:19,909 --> 00:08:19,919
Invasion Force. President Trump said he
431
00:08:19,919 --> 00:08:21,589
Invasion Force. President Trump said he
wants Iceland, so we're heading to
432
00:08:21,589 --> 00:08:21,599
wants Iceland, so we're heading to
433
00:08:21,599 --> 00:08:24,950
wants Iceland, so we're heading to
Iceland. REMEMBER BOYS, DON'T FIRE UNTIL
434
00:08:24,950 --> 00:08:24,960
Iceland. REMEMBER BOYS, DON'T FIRE UNTIL
435
00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:27,510
Iceland. REMEMBER BOYS, DON'T FIRE UNTIL
YOU SEE THE BJORKS IN THEIR EYES.
436
00:08:27,510 --> 00:08:27,520
YOU SEE THE BJORKS IN THEIR EYES.
437
00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:29,270
YOU SEE THE BJORKS IN THEIR EYES.
>> NO, NO, NO. JORDAN, the the president
438
00:08:29,270 --> 00:08:29,280
>> NO, NO, NO. JORDAN, the the president
439
00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:30,550
>> NO, NO, NO. JORDAN, the the president
wants Greenland. I think he just
440
00:08:30,550 --> 00:08:30,560
wants Greenland. I think he just
441
00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:31,189
wants Greenland. I think he just
misspoke.
442
00:08:31,189 --> 00:08:31,199
misspoke.
443
00:08:31,199 --> 00:08:32,709
misspoke.
>> What? No, no, no, no, [laughter] no, no,
444
00:08:32,709 --> 00:08:32,719
>> What? No, no, no, no, [laughter] no, no,
445
00:08:32,719 --> 00:08:35,350
>> What? No, no, no, no, [laughter] no, no,
no, no. Trump never makes mistakes and
446
00:08:35,350 --> 00:08:35,360
no, no. Trump never makes mistakes and
447
00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:38,630
no, no. Trump never makes mistakes and
he has never been sharper. He may be 79,
448
00:08:38,630 --> 00:08:38,640
he has never been sharper. He may be 79,
449
00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:40,389
he has never been sharper. He may be 79,
but I assure you he has the mental
450
00:08:40,389 --> 00:08:40,399
but I assure you he has the mental
451
00:08:40,399 --> 00:08:43,340
but I assure you he has the mental
capacity of an 8-year-old.
452
00:08:43,340 --> 00:08:43,350
capacity of an 8-year-old.
453
00:08:43,350 --> 00:08:46,870
capacity of an 8-year-old.
[cheering] Yes, SIR. YES, SIR. That is a
454
00:08:46,870 --> 00:08:46,880
[cheering] Yes, SIR. YES, SIR. That is a
455
00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:48,949
[cheering] Yes, SIR. YES, SIR. That is a
fact. If President Trump said Iceland,
456
00:08:48,949 --> 00:08:48,959
fact. If President Trump said Iceland,
457
00:08:48,959 --> 00:08:51,670
fact. If President Trump said Iceland,
he definitely meant Iceland.
458
00:08:51,670 --> 00:08:51,680
he definitely meant Iceland.
459
00:08:51,680 --> 00:08:52,949
he definitely meant Iceland.
What's that?
460
00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:52,959
What's that?
461
00:08:52,959 --> 00:08:55,430
What's that?
>> Scotland. We're landing. We're going to
462
00:08:55,430 --> 00:08:55,440
>> Scotland. We're landing. We're going to
463
00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:56,949
>> Scotland. We're landing. We're going to
Scotland now.
464
00:08:56,949 --> 00:08:56,959
Scotland now.
465
00:08:56,959 --> 00:08:58,310
Scotland now.
>> What? Why Scotland?
466
00:08:58,310 --> 00:08:58,320
>> What? Why Scotland?
467
00:08:58,320 --> 00:08:59,750
>> What? Why Scotland?
>> Oh, well, it's definitely not because
468
00:08:59,750 --> 00:08:59,760
>> Oh, well, it's definitely not because
469
00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:01,829
>> Oh, well, it's definitely not because
Trump was looking at a map of Greenland
470
00:09:01,829 --> 00:09:01,839
Trump was looking at a map of Greenland
471
00:09:01,839 --> 00:09:03,750
Trump was looking at a map of Greenland
while getting a text from Scott Beao. If
472
00:09:03,750 --> 00:09:03,760
while getting a text from Scott Beao. If
473
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:04,956
while getting a text from Scott Beao. If
that's what you're suggesting.
474
00:09:04,956 --> 00:09:04,966
that's what you're suggesting.
475
00:09:04,966 --> 00:09:05,829
that's what you're suggesting.
[laughter]
476
00:09:05,829 --> 00:09:05,839
[laughter]
477
00:09:05,839 --> 00:09:07,670
[laughter]
>> That sounds like exactly what happened.
478
00:09:07,670 --> 00:09:07,680
>> That sounds like exactly what happened.
479
00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:09,750
>> That sounds like exactly what happened.
>> I'll tell you what is happening. Our
480
00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:09,760
>> I'll tell you what is happening. Our
481
00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:11,750
>> I'll tell you what is happening. Our
firm brain president has decided we are
482
00:09:11,750 --> 00:09:11,760
firm brain president has decided we are
483
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:14,550
firm brain president has decided we are
invading Scotland. And that's that.
484
00:09:14,550 --> 00:09:14,560
invading Scotland. And that's that.
485
00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:18,949
invading Scotland. And that's that.
What's that? Legoland. We're going
486
00:09:18,949 --> 00:09:18,959
What's that? Legoland. We're going
487
00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:21,269
What's that? Legoland. We're going
to Legoland now. Legoland.
488
00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:21,279
to Legoland now. Legoland.
489
00:09:21,279 --> 00:09:22,389
to Legoland now. Legoland.
>> No, you're stupid.
490
00:09:22,389 --> 00:09:22,399
>> No, you're stupid.
491
00:09:22,399 --> 00:09:23,430
>> No, you're stupid.
>> I didn't say that.
492
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:23,440
>> I didn't say that.
493
00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:25,030
>> I didn't say that.
>> Okay, but you thought it.
494
00:09:25,030 --> 00:09:25,040
>> Okay, but you thought it.
495
00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:26,550
>> Okay, but you thought it.
>> Let me guess. President Trump was
496
00:09:26,550 --> 00:09:26,560
>> Let me guess. President Trump was
497
00:09:26,560 --> 00:09:28,550
>> Let me guess. President Trump was
thinking of Greenland, but then he saw
498
00:09:28,550 --> 00:09:28,560
thinking of Greenland, but then he saw
499
00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:30,710
thinking of Greenland, but then he saw
Baron's Lego Death Star and wanted it.
500
00:09:30,710 --> 00:09:30,720
Baron's Lego Death Star and wanted it.
501
00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:33,030
Baron's Lego Death Star and wanted it.
>> No, no, you communists. It was Eric's
502
00:09:33,030 --> 00:09:33,040
>> No, no, you communists. It was Eric's
503
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:35,910
>> No, no, you communists. It was Eric's
Duplo. It helps with his fine motor
504
00:09:35,910 --> 00:09:35,920
Duplo. It helps with his fine motor
505
00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:38,870
Duplo. It helps with his fine motor
skills. Regardless, Legoland is toast.
506
00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:38,880
skills. Regardless, Legoland is toast.
507
00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:40,710
skills. Regardless, Legoland is toast.
We're already pre-bombing it, but they
508
00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:40,720
We're already pre-bombing it, but they
509
00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:42,310
We're already pre-bombing it, but they
can rebuild it if they want. Very
510
00:09:42,310 --> 00:09:42,320
can rebuild it if they want. Very
511
00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:44,310
can rebuild it if they want. Very
easily, actually.
512
00:09:44,310 --> 00:09:44,320
easily, actually.
513
00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:45,670
easily, actually.
>> Wouldn't it be easier to admit that
514
00:09:45,670 --> 00:09:45,680
>> Wouldn't it be easier to admit that
515
00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:47,430
>> Wouldn't it be easier to admit that
Trump's losing a step rather than
516
00:09:47,430 --> 00:09:47,440
Trump's losing a step rather than
517
00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:49,430
Trump's losing a step rather than
twisting ourselves into World War II?
518
00:09:49,430 --> 00:09:49,440
twisting ourselves into World War II?
519
00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:51,350
twisting ourselves into World War II?
>> Yeah. You know what, Josh? You know,
520
00:09:51,350 --> 00:09:51,360
>> Yeah. You know what, Josh? You know,
521
00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:53,430
>> Yeah. You know what, Josh? You know,
maybe you're right. Maybe we should
522
00:09:53,430 --> 00:09:53,440
maybe you're right. Maybe we should
523
00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:56,630
maybe you're right. Maybe we should
pause and carefully consider.
524
00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:56,640
pause and carefully consider.
525
00:09:56,640 --> 00:10:01,430
pause and carefully consider.
Really? Neverland? Really? All right.
526
00:10:01,430 --> 00:10:01,440
Really? Neverland? Really? All right.
527
00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:03,430
Really? Neverland? Really? All right.
Neverland. We're doing a surprise attack
528
00:10:03,430 --> 00:10:03,440
Neverland. We're doing a surprise attack
529
00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:05,509
Neverland. We're doing a surprise attack
on Neverland. Now,
530
00:10:05,509 --> 00:10:05,519
on Neverland. Now,
531
00:10:05,519 --> 00:10:07,110
on Neverland. Now,
>> Neverland is not a real place.
532
00:10:07,110 --> 00:10:07,120
>> Neverland is not a real place.
533
00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:10,790
>> Neverland is not a real place.
>> Yeah. If you don't believe, sure, but
534
00:10:10,790 --> 00:10:10,800
>> Yeah. If you don't believe, sure, but
535
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:13,430
>> Yeah. If you don't believe, sure, but
but if you do, like Trump does, you'll
536
00:10:13,430 --> 00:10:13,440
but if you do, like Trump does, you'll
537
00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:15,190
but if you do, like Trump does, you'll
be able to storm the beaches and conquer
538
00:10:15,190 --> 00:10:15,200
be able to storm the beaches and conquer
539
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,990
be able to storm the beaches and conquer
it for America. I can't believe I'm even
540
00:10:17,990 --> 00:10:18,000
it for America. I can't believe I'm even
541
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,310
it for America. I can't believe I'm even
asking this, but what would we even go
542
00:10:20,310 --> 00:10:20,320
asking this, but what would we even go
543
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:20,870
asking this, but what would we even go
there for?
544
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:20,880
there for?
545
00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:23,750
there for?
>> I I I don't know, Josh. Maybe maybe
546
00:10:23,750 --> 00:10:23,760
>> I I I don't know, Josh. Maybe maybe
547
00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:25,750
>> I I I don't know, Josh. Maybe maybe
Trump is looking for a replacement for
548
00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:25,760
Trump is looking for a replacement for
549
00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:29,190
Trump is looking for a replacement for
Epstein Island. You know,
550
00:10:29,190 --> 00:10:29,200
Epstein Island. You know,
551
00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:31,590
Epstein Island. You know,
you know, cuz you know, Neverland, kids
552
00:10:31,590 --> 00:10:31,600
you know, cuz you know, Neverland, kids
553
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:34,870
you know, cuz you know, Neverland, kids
that never grow up. I'm just I'm I'm bra
554
00:10:34,870 --> 00:10:34,880
that never grow up. I'm just I'm I'm bra
555
00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:37,750
that never grow up. I'm just I'm I'm bra
I'm brains I'm brainstorming here.
556
00:10:37,750 --> 00:10:37,760
I'm brains I'm brainstorming here.
557
00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:40,069
I'm brains I'm brainstorming here.
>> Brainstorming. What? What? LOOK, WOULD
558
00:10:40,069 --> 00:10:40,079
>> Brainstorming. What? What? LOOK, WOULD
559
00:10:40,079 --> 00:10:41,670
>> Brainstorming. What? What? LOOK, WOULD
YOU RATHER IT FALL INTO THE HANDS OF
560
00:10:41,670 --> 00:10:41,680
YOU RATHER IT FALL INTO THE HANDS OF
561
00:10:41,680 --> 00:10:44,069
YOU RATHER IT FALL INTO THE HANDS OF
CAPTAIN HOOK? [laughter]
562
00:10:44,069 --> 00:10:44,079
CAPTAIN HOOK? [laughter]
563
00:10:44,079 --> 00:10:47,110
CAPTAIN HOOK? [laughter]
The hand of Captain Hook? The [cheering]
564
00:10:47,110 --> 00:10:47,120
The hand of Captain Hook? The [cheering]
565
00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:49,670
The hand of Captain Hook? The [cheering]
the point is we're ne we're going right
566
00:10:49,670 --> 00:10:49,680
the point is we're ne we're going right
567
00:10:49,680 --> 00:10:52,230
the point is we're ne we're going right
now to Neverland. What is it? Greenland.
568
00:10:52,230 --> 00:10:52,240
now to Neverland. What is it? Greenland.
569
00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:53,910
now to Neverland. What is it? Greenland.
We're going Okay, we're going we're
570
00:10:53,910 --> 00:10:53,920
We're going Okay, we're going we're
571
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:55,190
We're going Okay, we're going we're
going to Greenland now.
572
00:10:55,190 --> 00:10:55,200
going to Greenland now.
573
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:56,550
going to Greenland now.
>> Wait, we're back to Greenland.
574
00:10:56,550 --> 00:10:56,560
>> Wait, we're back to Greenland.
575
00:10:56,560 --> 00:10:58,310
>> Wait, we're back to Greenland.
>> I DON'T KNOW. ALL RIGHT. I'M TOLD THEY
576
00:10:58,310 --> 00:10:58,320
>> I DON'T KNOW. ALL RIGHT. I'M TOLD THEY
577
00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:00,470
>> I DON'T KNOW. ALL RIGHT. I'M TOLD THEY
have a concept of a plan. Jordan
578
00:11:00,470 --> 00:11:00,480
have a concept of a plan. Jordan
579
00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:03,959
have a concept of a plan. Jordan
Clapper. Everyone
50553
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