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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,719 Now, Chief, I'm sure you're on it like a Ford Fiesta bonnet, 2 00:00:04,720 --> 00:00:07,439 but we need this visit to pass without incident. 3 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:09,239 We are expecting protests, 4 00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:11,119 potential serious disorder. 5 00:00:11,120 --> 00:00:12,999 Well, he is a fascist. 6 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:16,079 No, no, no. We can't be heard using terms like that. 7 00:00:16,080 --> 00:00:18,519 We would prefer fascist-esque. 8 00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:19,999 Fascist adjacent! 9 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:24,079 Rest easy, Minister. The riot teams are in full training. 10 00:00:24,080 --> 00:00:27,439 We sourced a job lot of past-their-sell-by-date pumpkins 11 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:29,319 so that they could practise... 12 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:31,319 Actually, you don't need to know the details. 13 00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:34,839 Suffice to say, the visit will be incident free. 14 00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:36,799 Now, this is a big deal, 15 00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:39,679 which is why we've loosened our belts a wee bit 16 00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:43,439 around the restrictions to undercover ops. 17 00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:45,719 We have the sneakiest, 18 00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:47,999 most duplicitous telltale tits 19 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:50,759 embedded in all the Antifa groups. 20 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:51,999 Excellent. 21 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:53,399 Now, politically, 22 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:56,919 we don't agree with a single thing his regime stands for. Hmm? 23 00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:59,719 But diplomatically, we need to roll out the red carpet. 24 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:03,359 And we shall provide the velvet ropes for the golden goose. 25 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:04,999 Excellent code name. 26 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:08,279 The thing is, Chief, it's a matter of trade, you see? 27 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:10,719 His whole country has got a tartan fetish. 28 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:14,159 They import kilts, shortbread, whisky. 29 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:15,999 Major export market to the... 30 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:17,399 Fascists. ..fascist-esques. 31 00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:19,319 The fascist adjacents! 32 00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:22,999 So, while we may have to hold our collective noses, 33 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,999 this visit simply must go smoothly. 34 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,559 The First Minister, the Scottish Government, 35 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:32,679 even the UK Government are depending on you. 36 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:34,279 Rest assured, Minister, 37 00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:36,559 there shall be no drop-off in the sale 38 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:39,119 of china Scottie dogs on my watch! 39 00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:40,359 Good man. 40 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:42,319 Oh, help yourself to a burfi. 41 00:01:42,320 --> 00:01:44,319 My brother just had his seventh kid. 42 00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:47,599 Oh, well, send my congratulations to the family! 43 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:48,919 Thank you, Minister. 44 00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:50,079 Mm! 45 00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:51,359 Is that cardamom?! 46 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:53,040 Shouldn't work, but it does! 47 00:01:57,640 --> 00:02:00,879 CAMERON SIGHS 48 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:02,279 I thought we were divorced? 49 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:03,999 I knew you'd forget. 50 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:05,680 He's forgotten, Ellen! 51 00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:08,159 Andy, Dad! 52 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:09,599 Andy's coming round! 53 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:10,999 Oh, that's tonight? 54 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,279 Sorry, I'll... I'll get changed. 55 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:15,599 Try and be normal with this one, Cameron! 56 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:16,959 I'm always normal! 57 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:19,119 You had the last one arrested! 58 00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:21,239 He was doing 23 in a 20! 59 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:23,560 - The law's the law, Barbara! - DOORBELL RINGS 60 00:02:23,563 --> 00:02:26,479 Right! That's him! 61 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,759 Get a shift on, Dad! 62 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:31,320 I'm sure you'd prefer me in a pair of trousers. 63 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:33,999 Hello! Hi! 64 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,399 Mum, this is Andy. 65 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:39,999 Hi. Oh, it's so lovely to meet you, Mrs Miekelson! 66 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:42,079 Actually, it's Ms Bannigan these days. 67 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:44,079 But please, Andrew, you can call me Barbara. 68 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:45,240 Barbara. Got it. 69 00:02:45,241 --> 00:02:46,399 BARBARA LAUGHS 70 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:49,879 Well, look at this merry gathering! 71 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:51,320 Cameron Miekelson. 72 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:55,400 Dad, this is Andy. 73 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,879 Of course it is. 74 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:00,639 It's Andy. There's nobody else here. 75 00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:02,999 It's... got to be Andy. 76 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,839 That's it. Andy's in the house. Hello. 77 00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:08,359 Barbara, you've met... Andy? 78 00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:10,079 Let's...! Yep! 79 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:12,479 You know, because that's what people do when they're meeting 80 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:14,719 for the first time, which is what we're doing, after all. 81 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:16,879 Yes.Hello. Hi.Welcome. 82 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:17,999 Nice to meet you.Yes. 83 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,599 Andrew, sit here. Yes. 84 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:21,999 Andy, welcome. 85 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,999 Make yourself at... 86 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,279 Oh, you don't have a drink? 87 00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:29,559 We're on G&Ts. Oh, it's OK - I don't actually drink. 88 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:31,239 No? Well, a soft drink, then? 89 00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:33,599 Come with me. You can choose. We've plenty soft drinks. 90 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:35,239 Yes. A Ribena, maybe? Great. 91 00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:36,399 He's not five! 92 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:38,599 No, no, it's fine. That sounds lovely. 93 00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:40,639 Do you like Vimto? Oh, partial to Vimto, yeah. 94 00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:42,879 What about kombucha? Maybe one of your ginger kombuchas? 95 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:44,319 Just go down here, Andy. 96 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:47,640 I'm sure we'll find you something to drink, Andy. 97 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:50,879 Steve! Steve, what is going on? 98 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:53,239 This is bad. This is really bad. 99 00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:57,319 No! Are you...? I'm working, sir. I'm on a job. 100 00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:00,279 This is an undercover...? An undercover operation?! 101 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:03,359 Aye! I was assigned to an anti-fascist protest group 102 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:05,519 because of Golden Goose's visit. 103 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:06,799 Ellen was my way in! 104 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:08,239 Oh... 105 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:09,999 I had no idea she was your daughter. 106 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:13,639 Oh, right, the name Miekelson didn't ring any bells?! 107 00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:15,519 You're no' the only Miekelsons in Scotland, sir! 108 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:18,919 And you don't exactly feature on her Instagram page! 109 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:21,999 Brilliant police work, Detective Constable... 110 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:25,999 The bloody high line that he insists on playing, huh? 111 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,559 Exactly. The boy is mad. With the pace we've got in the wings? 112 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,999 The pace in the wings, eh, Ellen? 113 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:32,559 Mum wants pretzels. 114 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:33,999 Oh, she is...! 115 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:36,319 She's pretzel daft, she is! 116 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:40,999 So she... Honestly, she'll turn into a pretzel, that one. 117 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,479 Steve, this evening is over. OK. 118 00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:45,640 Make your excuses and leave. 119 00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:51,999 Meaty nibble, Andrew? 120 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,479 Oh, sorry, I'm... 121 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:55,279 I'm vegan, Barbara. 122 00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:57,000 - Oh! - BARBARA LAUGHS 123 00:04:57,003 --> 00:04:59,159 Doesn't drink, doesn't eat meat. 124 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:00,360 Cheap date, Ellen! 125 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,999 So, how was it you two actually met? 126 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:07,239 So, we were on a march, 127 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,999 protesting against the upcoming visit of that fascist. 128 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,639 Oh! And... 129 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:14,999 We were both in different groups but got kettled together. 130 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:18,439 And then our eyes just met across the barricade. 131 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:21,559 I think that's what they call a meet cute. 132 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:25,120 What's that? Can anyone else hear that buzzing? 133 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:27,679 Oh, that's somebody's phone. 134 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:28,839 No. No, it's not. 135 00:05:28,840 --> 00:05:32,879 No, I think that's a phone. Andy, is that your phone? 136 00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:34,839 No, I think it's your phone. 137 00:05:34,840 --> 00:05:36,559 Is it? Oh! 138 00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:37,999 I... 139 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,199 Oh! Buzzing. 140 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,039 Oh, hang on. 141 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:42,519 It's probably a text. 142 00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:44,600 Oh, it is a text. Yes. 143 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:47,359 Oh, no. 144 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:49,079 Ah, it's... 145 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:50,319 Oh! 146 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:52,679 Tragedy has struck at the squat. 147 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:54,839 Emil. You know Emil? Uh-huh. 148 00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:58,799 He's one of the boys in the squat. Has very sadly lost his dog. 149 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:02,519 Ah! I'm going to have to go and help him find it. 150 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:05,599 Oh, dear! I'm so sorry, guys!Oh! 151 00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:08,879 It's a three-legged whippet. It's not going to go very far. 152 00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:13,239 Ellen, the boy - Emil, yeah? - he's clearly distraught! 153 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:16,079 He is.His wee dog's out there, running around. 154 00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:19,799 The least Andy can do is go and help him look for it. 155 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:21,559 Good for you, Andy. Good for you. 156 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:23,679 Got yourself a dog lover here, eh? 157 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:26,999 Well, look, it's been lovely meeting you, but goodbye. 158 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:28,400 Yes. 159 00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:31,519 Listen, don't tell anyone about this, OK? 160 00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:32,879 And I mean anyone! 161 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:34,599 If it ever got out that the chief's daughter's 162 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:35,879 the target of an undercover operation... 163 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:39,199 Absolutely, sir. It's understood. I'll figure out what to do. 164 00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:41,439 Do you know the underground car park at Morrisons? 165 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:44,400 Yeah.I'll meet you there tomorrow, four in the PM. 166 00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:47,999 So very nice to meet you. 167 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:51,839 And I very much hope that w-we'll be able to spend more time together 168 00:06:51,840 --> 00:06:53,999 the next time you're around, Ste... A-A-Andy! 169 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:57,719 That's Andy. I'll look forward to seeing you again soon, Andrew. 170 00:06:57,720 --> 00:06:59,599 Bye. Night. Well, goodnight to you. 171 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:01,040 Thank you. 172 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:07,199 Well, I thought he was absolutely charming, Ellen. 173 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:10,320 Are you ever going to be normal with one of my boyfriends? 174 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:18,079 Do you have to ruin everything for her? 175 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:22,159 He clearly left because he was uncomfortable with you. 176 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:25,879 So hard to see my little girl growing up, drifting away. 177 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,439 You're going to have to let her go, Cameron! 178 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:30,559 Particularly if he's the one. 179 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:31,799 He's not the one. 180 00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:33,639 Well, I thought he was lovely. 181 00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:36,359 A what you see is what you get kind of guy. 182 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:37,919 Is what you see what you get, though? 183 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:40,840 Sometimes what you're not seeing is what you're getting. 184 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:44,759 Although I still don't understand young people. 185 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:46,319 Not drinking? 186 00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:48,839 And from what Ellen tells me, 187 00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:52,239 they're not having a physical relationship. 188 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:53,999 Excellent news! 189 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,719 Good old-fashioned morals! 190 00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:57,479 You know, that's what this country lacks! 191 00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:58,719 They're young! 192 00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:01,679 They should be enjoying themselves! 193 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:03,920 Christ, even we had our moments. 194 00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:08,479 The Ford Fiesta. 195 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:11,639 The Regal Hotel, Galashiels. 196 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:13,480 The bunker on the fifth at The Royal Burgess. 197 00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:20,319 The physical side of a relationship is so important. 198 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:23,079 You don't want to be disappointed. 199 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:25,319 You think you're shopping for aubergine 200 00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:28,879 and you find yourself in the gherkin aisle. 201 00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:31,199 Besides, if he really is the one, 202 00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:34,519 she doesn't want to leave it too long, miss out on him, 203 00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:38,639 end up married to the wrong idiot for 30 years. 204 00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:40,040 It was 32 years. 205 00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:47,199 TRAM BELL TOLLS 206 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:48,679 I'm off for a meeting, Paul. 207 00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:50,999 Where? There's no meeting in the diary. 208 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:53,319 It's fine. Have I forgot to put a meeting in the diary? 209 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:54,599 No, no. Not your fault. 210 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,359 I'll just pop the meeting in the diary. 211 00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:57,999 No need. I'm going to the meeting now. 212 00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,479 It'll only take a minute. No, Paul... 213 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:01,239 Where's the meeting? I'll just pop it in the diary.Paul... 214 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:02,479 No, Paul. I don't want to miss a meeting. 215 00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:04,120 Paul. I can't be unprof...Paul! 216 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,359 Can I trust you? 217 00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:11,759 With your life, sir. 218 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,720 This must go no further. 219 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:16,719 Ellen is dating an undercover cop, 220 00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:18,999 and I have to go now and sort it all out. 221 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:22,079 Ellen? Ellen's been infiltrated? 222 00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:24,240 D-Don't put it like that, but, yes. 223 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,040 No-one must know. 224 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:31,519 I'm privileged. The only one in the know, 225 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:34,999 like Matt Damon in The Departed. 226 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:38,720 It's actually Mark Wahlberg who's in the know, but, yeah. 227 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,480 Yeah, Wahlberg. 228 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:47,040 I'm Mark Wahlberg! 229 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:50,600 Paul, where's the chief away to? 230 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,560 He has gone... 231 00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:56,200 ..to the dentist. 232 00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:02,200 Er, he's having a root canal in his upper left third. 233 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:12,160 Hey, Steve. 234 00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:17,199 I thought you were a vegan? 235 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:19,519 Oh, it's part of my cover, sir. 236 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:22,439 To be honest, it's the hardest part to keep up. 237 00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:24,559 Three-legged whippet! 238 00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:25,999 Is that the best you could come up with? 239 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,439 I wouldn't be writing your Oscar acceptance speech. 240 00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:30,079 You took me by surprise. 241 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:32,079 It's hard doing it in front of your boss. 242 00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:35,519 OK, you are "pretend seeing" my daughter. 243 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:37,999 How pretend? How embedded are you? 244 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,680 How deep has this gone? 245 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,640 SQUEAKING 246 00:10:46,560 --> 00:10:48,999 Yeah, not deep. Not deep at all. 247 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:52,039 Just... There's little to no depth. We're just courting. 248 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:55,199 Courting? How romantic. Well, this ends now. 249 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:57,999 You've got to get yourself transferred out of undercover ops. 250 00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,919 What, right now?Yes. 251 00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:01,999 I can get you a transfer anywhere you want. 252 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:05,760 Armed response, motorcycle display team - top of the triangle. 253 00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:08,279 What about money laundering? 254 00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:11,199 You'll meet a lot of nice girls in the nail parlour. 255 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:12,519 Just take your pick. 256 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:14,679 Can't. My bosses will never allow it. 257 00:11:14,680 --> 00:11:15,959 I'm your boss! 258 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:17,999 No, I mean undercover bosses. 259 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:19,999 The bosses even you can't know about. 260 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:23,239 Chief, the info I'm getting is absolute gold dust. 261 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:26,519 Nobody wants Antifa sparking up a big old billy bifter 262 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,319 in the Holyrood box. 263 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:31,720 OK, I'll figure out how to end this, for Ellen's sake. 264 00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:34,639 How can I get in touch with you? 265 00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:36,200 Oh, er... 266 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:42,239 Keep shtoom. OK. 267 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:44,319 I'll be in contact with a plan. 268 00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:46,439 Remember, I'M your boss! 269 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:48,480 And your fake girlfriend's father! 270 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:55,279 I think some might question the use of taxpayer money 271 00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:58,079 to protect a brutal dictator. 272 00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:02,039 One man's dictator is another man's straight-talking strongman. 273 00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:05,319 He's kept in power by an oppressive police force. 274 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:06,519 And? 275 00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:08,239 Is she...? Are you...? Is she...? 276 00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:11,319 What is the point in having laws if we can't enforce them? 277 00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:14,599 Look, no-one's advocating for a police state here. 278 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:16,399 Well... 279 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:19,359 It's imperative we stop protesters getting near him. 280 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:21,439 Sitting in the middle of the road, stopping normal folk 281 00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:22,719 getting to their work. 282 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:24,439 I'd water cannon the lot of them. 283 00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:26,999 We need to respect civil liberties 284 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,999 and the democratic right to protest. 285 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:33,919 On that subject, Muldoon, any feedback from undercover ops? 286 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,639 Have they turned out to be a bit of a failure 287 00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:37,559 and not really worth pursuing at all? 288 00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:40,999 Oh, no, sir. Major result there, sir. 289 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,639 Undercover have came through big style. 290 00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:47,159 With their intel, we've collared a number of protesters 291 00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:50,639 and quashed their attempts to shut down Edinburgh Airport. 292 00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:52,359 Tremendous. 293 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:54,559 Great news. Great news! 294 00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:57,999 But you're absolutely sure the info came from undercover? 295 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,199 Well, yes. We got a tip-off. 296 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,359 And because of that, we were able to confiscate the drones 297 00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:05,799 they were going to use. Now we've got them tabled up for media. 298 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:08,159 The news is lapping it up. 299 00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:09,759 Well, maybe... 300 00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:12,799 Maybe now's the time to shut undercover down. 301 00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:15,079 Quit while we're ahead. Go out on a high. 302 00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:16,319 No way, sir. 303 00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:18,999 They are just getting started, and they're going in deep. 304 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,999 Don't say deep. Deeper than they've ever gone before. 305 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:25,199 Undercover is a fruit machine that is going to keep paying out. 306 00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:27,880 Ka-ching, ka-ching, jackpot! 307 00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:31,599 Ka-ching. Good. 308 00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:33,279 No, no, no, Connie. 309 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:36,399 Just because the group we targeted were anti-fascist 310 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,239 doesn't mean that the Scottish Police Force 311 00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:39,999 are pro-fascist. 312 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:44,519 You can be anti-Antifa and still not be pro-Profa. 313 00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:47,439 So you can guarantee our listeners, then, that you'll preserve 314 00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:48,879 their right to protest? 315 00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:50,239 Absolutely. 316 00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:55,239 We are dedicated to protecting citizens' right to protest. 317 00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:57,679 And their right to counter-protest. 318 00:13:57,680 --> 00:14:00,999 And indeed to protect the rights of an overseas leader 319 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,799 who cracks down on personal freedoms, 320 00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:07,999 to move freely, personally within Scotland. 321 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:11,999 Freedom of movement is sacrosanct in Caledonia. 322 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,999 Old Firm day aside. 323 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,959 OK, our listeners have had their say. 324 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:17,799 As you would imagine, it's split down the middle. 325 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:20,119 There are some who want the visit banned completely, 326 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:21,599 and others who are saying, 327 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,639 "Let's give them the full VIP treatment." 328 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:26,519 We've had this text in from Senga, who's in Sighthill, 329 00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:30,040 who'd like to point out that the real fascists are BBC Scotland. 330 00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:33,999 Great press for your Edinburgh Airport 331 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:35,599 shut down intervention. 332 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:37,359 This is what we like to see. 333 00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:40,279 Oh, we do. Oh, and full marks for your methods. 334 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:43,800 It would appear that your undercover ops are Top Of The Pops. 335 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:49,719 So you're happy to keep the undercover ops operational? 336 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:51,319 Well, why would we not? 337 00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:53,279 I'm concerned, Minister. 338 00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:54,919 Morally. 339 00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:59,679 One man's morals are another man's career advancement opportunity. 340 00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:02,599 Why don't we have a pause on the undercover ops, 341 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:04,319 and then you could have an inquiry? 342 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,199 You love your inquiries here. 343 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:08,439 You could have an inquiry, and then you could have an inquiry 344 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:10,239 into THAT inquiry. 345 00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:12,919 We're both coming out of this very well. 346 00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:16,519 The highest office in the land is taking notice. 347 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:19,040 So it's undercover all the way? 348 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:22,399 Good, good. 349 00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:24,999 Steve, I can't shut it down. Er... 350 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:26,599 I know I said I was going to get you out, 351 00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:27,999 and I am going to get you out, 352 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,199 but you're not out. 353 00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:32,359 Undercover's doing too good a job! 354 00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:35,439 Well, thank you - but what about Ellen? 355 00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:39,519 You have my permission to continue "fake seeing" my daughter. 356 00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:43,279 But as long as there is honour within the deceit! 357 00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:45,439 We'll practise safe... protesting. 358 00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:47,239 And once the operation's over, 359 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:49,199 then you can finish with her! 360 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:51,679 OK, sir. Understood. 361 00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:53,599 But gently. 362 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:57,399 She has abandonment issues with men for some reason. 363 00:15:57,400 --> 00:16:00,159 Here, is this car park Red Three? 364 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,199 Er, no, I think this is car park Red Two. 365 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,160 You want one up, son. Cheers. 366 00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:16,759 Where are you going? 367 00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:18,239 To see Andy. 368 00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:22,999 Andy. H-How are you two getting on? 369 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:24,839 I really like him. 370 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:26,399 I just want you to be careful. 371 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:27,599 Careful?! 372 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:30,279 It's easy to get swept up in a romance! 373 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:31,999 Are you policing my love life again? 374 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,999 "Love" - is there even such a thing as love? 375 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,079 There's the sort of love I feel for you 376 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:39,999 and, say, Pat Stanton... 377 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,199 ..and then there's romantic love. 378 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:44,999 And the brutal truth is that romantic love, 379 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,999 it lasts - whoa - 18 months, tops. 380 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,279 Just enough time for you to get the local girl 381 00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:51,919 in the village pregnant. 382 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,839 We're just conned into continuing the species. 383 00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:57,559 Dad, Andy makes me happy. 384 00:16:57,560 --> 00:16:59,279 I just don't want you getting hurt. 385 00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:00,839 When you know, you know. 386 00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:02,639 But you don't know. 387 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:06,399 That's my point. Nobody ever knows. 388 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,200 I know. You don't know. 389 00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:11,399 No! 390 00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:12,679 Oh, what have I done? 391 00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:15,479 I forced my daughter to go out with an undercover cop 392 00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:17,399 that she doesn't know is an undercover cop, 393 00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:19,879 all for my own personal gain! 394 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:21,839 This is a moral nightmare. 395 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:24,199 It's wrong. It's so wrong. 396 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:28,999 Ellen's a real person with real feelings. 397 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:31,039 You can't chart complicated emotions 398 00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:32,799 with wee bits of string. 399 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:35,399 I do have lots of colours. 400 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:38,639 No, I have to put Ellen first. 401 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:41,239 I'm going to get in touch with Steve and close it down. 402 00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:43,119 I don't care how good the information is 403 00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:44,999 or how many arrests it leads to. 404 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,719 Or how pleased the Government is, 405 00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:48,800 or how many medals you might be awarded. 406 00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:52,599 Medals? 407 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:55,519 You think there might be medals in it for me? 408 00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:59,359 Lord Miekelson of Morningside. 409 00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:01,719 Got a bit of a ring to it. Mm. 410 00:18:01,720 --> 00:18:02,999 Good. 411 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,799 No, what am I doing? 412 00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:05,999 I'm doing it again! 413 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:09,279 No, I have to be the responsible father. 414 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:11,839 Ellen, she's just fallen in with a bad crowd, 415 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:13,559 and I have to deal with it. 416 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:15,520 Does that not mean we're the bad crowd? 417 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:19,999 You see, it's a moral maze! 418 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,320 I'm calling it in. 419 00:18:22,360 --> 00:18:23,839 PHONE RINGS 420 00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:26,479 You're through to Andy. Please don't bother leaving a message 421 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,319 on this tracking device of the Deep State 422 00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:30,199 as I'm out fighting Nazis. 423 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:32,040 Namaste-ay! 424 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:35,999 Lyndsey, speaking hypothetically, 425 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,999 say I wanted to get in touch 426 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,839 with one of our undercover operatives 427 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:43,199 our little Donnie Brascos - how would I go about that? 428 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:45,799 That's impossible. It could compromise an operation. 429 00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:48,559 It goes completely against protocol. 430 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:50,999 But say I REALLY needed to? 431 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:54,759 If it was super imperative that I speak to one of them? 432 00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:56,320 Sorry, Chief. 433 00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:58,799 Right. 434 00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:02,599 Ellen, I need to respect your life choices more. 435 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,679 Invite Andy round again for dinner. 436 00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:06,119 We'll have Mum, too. 437 00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:07,400 Clean slate. 438 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:12,759 Let your father get to know the real Andy. 439 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:14,239 OK. 440 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:15,639 Ah! 441 00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:17,640 That actually means a lot to me, Dad. 442 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:22,999 Andy! Oh! Hi! 443 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,999 Come on, let's hug it out, son! 444 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,639 Ah! Andy! 445 00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:28,439 It's good to see you, Andy! 446 00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:29,999 Have a seat. 447 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,199 Hi. Hi. Hello, Barbara. 448 00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:34,999 Mum, could you please give me a hand in the kitchen? 449 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,799 Yeah, sure. 450 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,199 We are having Andy's favourite - 451 00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:41,479 jackfruit and mushroom curry. 452 00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:44,159 Oh, ANDY'S favourite? 453 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:47,319 God, that is everyone's favourite! 454 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:49,400 Oh, delicious! 455 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:55,399 Steve, listen, I have a duty of care to my daughter 456 00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:58,279 that's more important than any undercover operation. 457 00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,839 And you have to stop seeing Ellen. 458 00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:03,799 Er, I can't do that, sir. 459 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:07,079 Yes, you can. You have to. Forget work. 460 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:08,919 No, it's not that. 461 00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:11,399 Well, what is it, then? Well, I just... 462 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:13,359 I really like her. 463 00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:16,759 What? Yeah, I've fallen for her - hard. 464 00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:18,039 No, no, no, you haven't. 465 00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:20,239 Yeah. No, I have.No, no, you haven't. No, you haven't. 466 00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:21,599 Yeah, I have. I have. No, no, you haven't. 467 00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:23,999 No, you're not understanding me. You have not fallen for her. 468 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:25,439 I have. I've really got to know her. 469 00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:27,639 You haven't. You've known her for about two weeks! 470 00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:29,999 Yeah, but when you know, you know! 471 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,679 But you don't know! 472 00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:33,319 Ellen, she's fickle. 473 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:36,159 One week it's Trotsky, the next it's Taylor Swift. 474 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:37,639 Don't get involved with her. 475 00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:39,599 She doesn't know her arse from her elbow, that one. 476 00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:41,839 Whoa! Hey, don't insult my girlfriend. 477 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:43,999 She's not your girlfriend! 478 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,519 Yeah, but she feels like my girlfriend! 479 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:49,519 Like, honestly, Chief, she's so passionate in her beliefs. 480 00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:51,880 And her smile. Her smile, Chief! 481 00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:54,999 The way her nose wrinkles - it's adorable! 482 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,839 For 18 months, tops. 483 00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:00,319 And then everything that you find adorable about her 484 00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:02,559 will drive you out your nut! 485 00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:04,999 Like her chewing her hair when she's watching the television, 486 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,839 and leaving her toe clippings on the rim of the bath. 487 00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:09,999 Oh, that's classic Ellen. 488 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,639 I just... I think we might have a future together. 489 00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:15,399 You do not have a future together. 490 00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:17,239 It could be one of the great love stories. 491 00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:19,759 Like, er, Jack and Rose! 492 00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:20,999 He died. 493 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:24,479 All right, well, Anna Karenina and Vronsky. 494 00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:25,759 She died. 495 00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:27,119 Romeo and Juliet. 496 00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:29,399 They both died! 497 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:32,919 Steve, Ellen is going to find out that I've been lying to her. 498 00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:36,799 She's probably going to think this whole thing was my idea. 499 00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:38,999 My daughter will never speak to me again, 500 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:41,119 and all because of you! 501 00:21:41,120 --> 00:21:43,239 Love will triumph. 502 00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:45,999 Steve, you've lost your mind. 503 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,879 Well, if love is losing your mind, 504 00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:50,799 I don't want to be sane. 505 00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:52,079 OK, Steve... 506 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:55,439 Gentlemen! Dinner's ready. Oh, Steve's not hungry. 507 00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:56,719 Who's Steve? 508 00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:58,280 Hmm? Steve? 509 00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:01,239 There's no Steve. 510 00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:02,999 No. Are you...? Andy, are you Steve? 511 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,879 No.No, see? No Steve! 512 00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:07,719 No Steve. No, Andy's not hungry. 513 00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:10,879 He's got one of these, er, wee vegan tummies. 514 00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:13,200 You know? It's about... It's about the size of a walnut. 515 00:22:22,360 --> 00:22:25,999 You never did tell us what you do for a living, Andrew. 516 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:27,519 That's a good question. 517 00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:29,999 Yeah, how do you earn an honest crust, Andy? 518 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:33,599 Ah, it's... I dabble in a bit of this, bit of that. 519 00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:35,799 Tell him! 520 00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:37,040 Oh, it's... 521 00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:39,799 I'm embarrassed. 522 00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:42,999 He has a dream of being an actor. 523 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:44,519 Oh!Oh! 524 00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:46,999 An actor, Andy! 525 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,559 Oh, but that's tough work. 526 00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:53,319 Pretending to be someone else all day, working for a director - 527 00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:56,199 a boss that you have to obey. 528 00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:58,639 Andy's not that career-minded anyways. 529 00:22:58,640 --> 00:22:59,999 No. 530 00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,519 Yeah, I'm beginning to sense that. 531 00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:04,599 A job is a job is a job. 532 00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:06,599 Very true. 533 00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:10,159 Some say work to live, don't live to work. 534 00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:13,359 Mm. Others say, "Do your work right 535 00:23:13,360 --> 00:23:16,199 "or your life won't be worth living." 536 00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:18,100 BARBARA COUGHS 537 00:23:18,101 --> 00:23:19,999 Well, that was delicious. 538 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:22,479 Cheese? Pudding? 539 00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:24,599 Can I get you another carton, Andrew? 540 00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:27,999 Er, no. We better be going, Andy. 541 00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:31,519 We are meeting some of the others at the Blue Albion for a lock-in. 542 00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:32,879 Oh, best get going. 543 00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:35,999 Yes, those anti-capitalist leaflets and amusing banners - 544 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,119 well, they won't daub themselves! 545 00:23:38,120 --> 00:23:39,360 THEY LAUGH 546 00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:48,039 Don't you want Ellen to be happy? 547 00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:50,679 Why can't you even consider it? 548 00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:54,479 And what are you doing telling her there's no such thing as love? 549 00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:57,519 What sort of message is that? 550 00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:59,599 He's a decent young man. 551 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:03,119 You just can't see past his politics or his lifestyle. 552 00:24:03,120 --> 00:24:06,679 Honestly, you're getting worse as you get older. 553 00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:09,039 Reactionary. Unforgiving. 554 00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:11,919 Intolerant. Impatient. Rude. 555 00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:14,399 He's an undercover cop! 556 00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:16,480 He infiltrated our protest group. 557 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:20,440 Wow. 558 00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:24,439 Cameron, this is pathetic. 559 00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:27,839 If you don't like him, just own it. 560 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:29,999 I do like him. 561 00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:31,600 But as a policeman. 562 00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:34,480 Don't tell anyone. 563 00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:39,719 Right, troops. Today's the day. 564 00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:42,279 Undercover have came through, big style. 565 00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:43,999 Total dynamite info. 566 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,559 Now, we know a couple of protest groups will be meeting 567 00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:49,119 at a warehouse before travelling to blockade 568 00:24:49,120 --> 00:24:51,119 the A8 from the airport. 569 00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:53,959 Intel suggests they've got a couple of JCBs, 570 00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:57,719 a trailer full of concrete slabs and some vats of orange paint 571 00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:00,879 with the potential to seriously derail the visit. 572 00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:04,119 Well, it's our job to piss on their chips. Yes! 573 00:25:04,120 --> 00:25:06,519 ALL CHEER 574 00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:08,079 Let's go, go, go! 575 00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:09,640 Come on, move it! 576 00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:29,000 We're going to go in fast, in hard. 577 00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:31,759 One minute away, Keith. 578 00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:33,000 Good luck. 579 00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:36,760 Right. 30 seconds away. 580 00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:58,320 Move it, move it! 581 00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:00,720 Settle. Settle. 582 00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:05,319 That's us in position, Chief. 583 00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:06,760 It's boom, shake the room time. 584 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:16,319 Three, two, one... 585 00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:17,960 Go, go, go! 586 00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:25,680 Ohh, shite! 587 00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:30,519 We've been given duff information, Chief. 588 00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:33,039 Steve's been played. Fake intel. 589 00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:34,359 HE SIGHS 590 00:26:34,360 --> 00:26:36,920 POLICE SIREN RINGTONE 591 00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:42,279 Minister. What is going on, Chief Commissioner? Mm? 592 00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:43,759 Parliament is besieged. 593 00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:46,399 It's utter mayhem. Protestors everywhere. 594 00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:48,119 I thought you were detaining them all. 595 00:26:48,120 --> 00:26:50,159 We were fed a false lead, Minister. 596 00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:52,759 Where's, er, Golden Goose? 597 00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:55,599 He's taken refuge in a tartan gift shop on the high street. 598 00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:57,759 Well, he does love his knick-knacks. 599 00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:00,119 This is a disaster. 600 00:27:00,120 --> 00:27:02,279 I am going to recommend to Parliament 601 00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:05,559 that this undercover programme is shut down once and for all. 602 00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:07,719 Good, yes. 603 00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:09,639 Excellent idea. 604 00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:11,400 Wise move, Minister. 605 00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:25,080 So Andy and I have decided to take a break. 606 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:27,760 Really? Yeah. 607 00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:32,679 Turns out he wasn't quite the man I thought he was. 608 00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:34,479 Hmm. 609 00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:39,319 Or maybe you aren't quite the woman he thought you were, either. 610 00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:40,520 Yeah, maybe. 611 00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:43,959 Oh. When did you work it out? 612 00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:48,199 I suspected he was a blue from the moment I met him. 613 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:51,119 Ironed jeans. Come on. 614 00:27:51,120 --> 00:27:54,439 But it was confirmed when I got him to meet you. 615 00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:55,519 Got him to meet me? 616 00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:57,199 Yeah. I needed to be sure, 617 00:27:57,200 --> 00:28:00,959 so I invited him for drinks, and you blew it big time. 618 00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:03,959 "Oh, oh, oh, oh! Let's shake hands, 619 00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:06,039 "because we are meeting for the first time, 620 00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:07,800 "and that's what normal people do." 621 00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:12,239 Don't ever play poker, Dad. 622 00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:14,359 Solid police work, Miekelson. 623 00:28:14,360 --> 00:28:18,920 Sorry. He was a terrible undercover cop. 624 00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:23,680 Good shag, though. 625 00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:29,039 ♪ Would I lie to you? 626 00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:30,719 ♪ Oh, yeah 627 00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:32,519 ♪ Would I lie to you, honey? 628 00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:34,479 ♪ Oh, no, no, no 629 00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:38,319 ♪ Now would I say something that wasn't true? 630 00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:43,119 ♪ I'm asking you, sugar, would I lie to you? 631 00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:46,839 ♪ My friends know what's in store 632 00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:50,239 ♪ I won't be here any more 633 00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:53,839 ♪ I've packed my bags, I've cleaned the floor 634 00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:57,200 ♪ Watch me walking, walking out the door... ♪ 46609

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