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1
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,719
Now, Chief, I'm sure you're on it
like a Ford Fiesta bonnet,
2
00:00:04,720 --> 00:00:07,439
but we need this visit to pass
without incident.
3
00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:09,239
We are expecting protests,
4
00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:11,119
potential serious disorder.
5
00:00:11,120 --> 00:00:12,999
Well, he is a fascist.
6
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:16,079
No, no, no. We can't be heard
using terms like that.
7
00:00:16,080 --> 00:00:18,519
We would prefer fascist-esque.
8
00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:19,999
Fascist adjacent!
9
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:24,079
Rest easy, Minister. The riot teams
are in full training.
10
00:00:24,080 --> 00:00:27,439
We sourced a job lot of
past-their-sell-by-date pumpkins
11
00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:29,319
so that they could practise...
12
00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:31,319
Actually, you don't need
to know the details.
13
00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:34,839
Suffice to say, the visit
will be incident free.
14
00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:36,799
Now, this is a big deal,
15
00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:39,679
which is why we've loosened
our belts a wee bit
16
00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:43,439
around the restrictions
to undercover ops.
17
00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:45,719
We have the sneakiest,
18
00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:47,999
most duplicitous telltale tits
19
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:50,759
embedded in all the Antifa groups.
20
00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:51,999
Excellent.
21
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:53,399
Now, politically,
22
00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:56,919
we don't agree with a single
thing his regime stands for. Hmm?
23
00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:59,719
But diplomatically,
we need to roll out the red carpet.
24
00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:03,359
And we shall provide the velvet
ropes for the golden goose.
25
00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:04,999
Excellent code name.
26
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:08,279
The thing is, Chief, it's a matter
of trade, you see?
27
00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:10,719
His whole country
has got a tartan fetish.
28
00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:14,159
They import kilts,
shortbread, whisky.
29
00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:15,999
Major export market to the...
30
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:17,399
Fascists.
..fascist-esques.
31
00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:19,319
The fascist adjacents!
32
00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:22,999
So, while we may have to hold
our collective noses,
33
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,999
this visit simply must go smoothly.
34
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,559
The First Minister,
the Scottish Government,
35
00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:32,679
even the UK Government
are depending on you.
36
00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:34,279
Rest assured, Minister,
37
00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:36,559
there shall be no drop-off
in the sale
38
00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:39,119
of china Scottie dogs on my watch!
39
00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:40,359
Good man.
40
00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:42,319
Oh, help yourself to a burfi.
41
00:01:42,320 --> 00:01:44,319
My brother just had
his seventh kid.
42
00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:47,599
Oh, well, send my congratulations
to the family!
43
00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:48,919
Thank you, Minister.
44
00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:50,079
Mm!
45
00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:51,359
Is that cardamom?!
46
00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:53,040
Shouldn't work, but it does!
47
00:01:57,640 --> 00:02:00,879
CAMERON SIGHS
48
00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:02,279
I thought we were divorced?
49
00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:03,999
I knew you'd forget.
50
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:05,680
He's forgotten, Ellen!
51
00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:08,159
Andy, Dad!
52
00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:09,599
Andy's coming round!
53
00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:10,999
Oh, that's tonight?
54
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,279
Sorry, I'll... I'll get changed.
55
00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:15,599
Try and be normal
with this one, Cameron!
56
00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:16,959
I'm always normal!
57
00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:19,119
You had the last one arrested!
58
00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:21,239
He was doing 23 in a 20!
59
00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:23,560
- The law's the law, Barbara!
- DOORBELL RINGS
60
00:02:23,563 --> 00:02:26,479
Right! That's him!
61
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,759
Get a shift on, Dad!
62
00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:31,320
I'm sure you'd prefer me
in a pair of trousers.
63
00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:33,999
Hello! Hi!
64
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,399
Mum, this is Andy.
65
00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:39,999
Hi. Oh, it's so lovely to meet you,
Mrs Miekelson!
66
00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:42,079
Actually, it's Ms Bannigan
these days.
67
00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:44,079
But please, Andrew, you can
call me Barbara.
68
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:45,240
Barbara. Got it.
69
00:02:45,241 --> 00:02:46,399
BARBARA LAUGHS
70
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:49,879
Well, look at this merry gathering!
71
00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:51,320
Cameron Miekelson.
72
00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:55,400
Dad, this is Andy.
73
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,879
Of course it is.
74
00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:00,639
It's Andy. There's nobody else here.
75
00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:02,999
It's... got to be Andy.
76
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,839
That's it. Andy's in the house.
Hello.
77
00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:08,359
Barbara, you've met... Andy?
78
00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:10,079
Let's...!
Yep!
79
00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:12,479
You know, because that's what
people do when they're meeting
80
00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:14,719
for the first time, which is what
we're doing, after all.
81
00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:16,879
Yes.Hello. Hi.Welcome.
82
00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:17,999
Nice to meet you.Yes.
83
00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,599
Andrew, sit here.
Yes.
84
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:21,999
Andy, welcome.
85
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,999
Make yourself at...
86
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,279
Oh, you don't have a drink?
87
00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:29,559
We're on G&Ts. Oh, it's OK -
I don't actually drink.
88
00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:31,239
No? Well, a soft drink, then?
89
00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:33,599
Come with me. You can choose.
We've plenty soft drinks.
90
00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:35,239
Yes. A Ribena, maybe?
Great.
91
00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:36,399
He's not five!
92
00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:38,599
No, no, it's fine.
That sounds lovely.
93
00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:40,639
Do you like Vimto?
Oh, partial to Vimto, yeah.
94
00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:42,879
What about kombucha? Maybe one
of your ginger kombuchas?
95
00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:44,319
Just go down here, Andy.
96
00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:47,640
I'm sure we'll find you something
to drink, Andy.
97
00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:50,879
Steve! Steve, what is going on?
98
00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:53,239
This is bad. This is really bad.
99
00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:57,319
No! Are you...?
I'm working, sir. I'm on a job.
100
00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:00,279
This is an undercover...?
An undercover operation?!
101
00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:03,359
Aye! I was assigned to an
anti-fascist protest group
102
00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:05,519
because of Golden Goose's visit.
103
00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:06,799
Ellen was my way in!
104
00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:08,239
Oh...
105
00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:09,999
I had no idea she was your daughter.
106
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:13,639
Oh, right, the name Miekelson
didn't ring any bells?!
107
00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:15,519
You're no' the only Miekelsons
in Scotland, sir!
108
00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:18,919
And you don't exactly feature
on her Instagram page!
109
00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:21,999
Brilliant police work,
Detective Constable...
110
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:25,999
The bloody high line that
he insists on playing, huh?
111
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,559
Exactly. The boy is mad. With
the pace we've got in the wings?
112
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,999
The pace in the wings, eh, Ellen?
113
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:32,559
Mum wants pretzels.
114
00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:33,999
Oh, she is...!
115
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:36,319
She's pretzel daft, she is!
116
00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:40,999
So she... Honestly, she'll turn
into a pretzel, that one.
117
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,479
Steve, this evening is over.
OK.
118
00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:45,640
Make your excuses and leave.
119
00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:51,999
Meaty nibble, Andrew?
120
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,479
Oh, sorry, I'm...
121
00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:55,279
I'm vegan, Barbara.
122
00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:57,000
- Oh!
- BARBARA LAUGHS
123
00:04:57,003 --> 00:04:59,159
Doesn't drink, doesn't eat meat.
124
00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:00,360
Cheap date, Ellen!
125
00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,999
So, how was it you two actually met?
126
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:07,239
So, we were on a march,
127
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,999
protesting against the upcoming
visit of that fascist.
128
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,639
Oh!
And...
129
00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:14,999
We were both in different groups
but got kettled together.
130
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:18,439
And then our eyes just met
across the barricade.
131
00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:21,559
I think that's what they
call a meet cute.
132
00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:25,120
What's that? Can anyone
else hear that buzzing?
133
00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:27,679
Oh, that's somebody's phone.
134
00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:28,839
No. No, it's not.
135
00:05:28,840 --> 00:05:32,879
No, I think that's a phone.
Andy, is that your phone?
136
00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:34,839
No, I think it's your phone.
137
00:05:34,840 --> 00:05:36,559
Is it? Oh!
138
00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:37,999
I...
139
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,199
Oh!
Buzzing.
140
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,039
Oh, hang on.
141
00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:42,519
It's probably a text.
142
00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:44,600
Oh, it is a text.
Yes.
143
00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:47,359
Oh, no.
144
00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:49,079
Ah, it's...
145
00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:50,319
Oh!
146
00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:52,679
Tragedy has struck at the squat.
147
00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:54,839
Emil. You know Emil?
Uh-huh.
148
00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:58,799
He's one of the boys in the squat.
Has very sadly lost his dog.
149
00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:02,519
Ah! I'm going to have to go
and help him find it.
150
00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:05,599
Oh, dear!
I'm so sorry, guys!Oh!
151
00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:08,879
It's a three-legged whippet.
It's not going to go very far.
152
00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:13,239
Ellen, the boy - Emil, yeah? -
he's clearly distraught!
153
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:16,079
He is.His wee dog's out there,
running around.
154
00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:19,799
The least Andy can do is go
and help him look for it.
155
00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:21,559
Good for you, Andy. Good for you.
156
00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:23,679
Got yourself a dog lover here, eh?
157
00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:26,999
Well, look, it's been
lovely meeting you, but goodbye.
158
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:28,400
Yes.
159
00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:31,519
Listen, don't tell anyone
about this, OK?
160
00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:32,879
And I mean anyone!
161
00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:34,599
If it ever got out that
the chief's daughter's
162
00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:35,879
the target of
an undercover operation...
163
00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:39,199
Absolutely, sir. It's understood.
I'll figure out what to do.
164
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:41,439
Do you know the underground
car park at Morrisons?
165
00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:44,400
Yeah.I'll meet you there tomorrow,
four in the PM.
166
00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:47,999
So very nice to meet you.
167
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:51,839
And I very much hope that w-we'll be
able to spend more time together
168
00:06:51,840 --> 00:06:53,999
the next time you're around, Ste...
A-A-Andy!
169
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:57,719
That's Andy. I'll look forward to
seeing you again soon, Andrew.
170
00:06:57,720 --> 00:06:59,599
Bye. Night.
Well, goodnight to you.
171
00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:01,040
Thank you.
172
00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:07,199
Well, I thought he was absolutely
charming, Ellen.
173
00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:10,320
Are you ever going to be normal
with one of my boyfriends?
174
00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:18,079
Do you have to ruin
everything for her?
175
00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:22,159
He clearly left because he was
uncomfortable with you.
176
00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:25,879
So hard to see my little girl
growing up, drifting away.
177
00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,439
You're going to have to
let her go, Cameron!
178
00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:30,559
Particularly if he's the one.
179
00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:31,799
He's not the one.
180
00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:33,639
Well, I thought he was lovely.
181
00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:36,359
A what you see is what you get
kind of guy.
182
00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:37,919
Is what you see
what you get, though?
183
00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:40,840
Sometimes what you're not
seeing is what you're getting.
184
00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:44,759
Although I still don't
understand young people.
185
00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:46,319
Not drinking?
186
00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:48,839
And from what Ellen tells me,
187
00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:52,239
they're not having
a physical relationship.
188
00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:53,999
Excellent news!
189
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,719
Good old-fashioned morals!
190
00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:57,479
You know, that's what
this country lacks!
191
00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:58,719
They're young!
192
00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:01,679
They should be enjoying themselves!
193
00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:03,920
Christ, even we had our moments.
194
00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:08,479
The Ford Fiesta.
195
00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:11,639
The Regal Hotel, Galashiels.
196
00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:13,480
The bunker on the fifth
at The Royal Burgess.
197
00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:20,319
The physical side of a relationship
is so important.
198
00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:23,079
You don't want to be disappointed.
199
00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:25,319
You think you're shopping
for aubergine
200
00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:28,879
and you find yourself
in the gherkin aisle.
201
00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:31,199
Besides, if he really is the one,
202
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:34,519
she doesn't want to leave it
too long, miss out on him,
203
00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:38,639
end up married to the wrong
idiot for 30 years.
204
00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:40,040
It was 32 years.
205
00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:47,199
TRAM BELL TOLLS
206
00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:48,679
I'm off for a meeting, Paul.
207
00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:50,999
Where? There's no meeting
in the diary.
208
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:53,319
It's fine. Have I forgot to
put a meeting in the diary?
209
00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:54,599
No, no. Not your fault.
210
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,359
I'll just pop the meeting
in the diary.
211
00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:57,999
No need. I'm going to
the meeting now.
212
00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,479
It'll only take a minute.
No, Paul...
213
00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:01,239
Where's the meeting? I'll just pop
it in the diary.Paul...
214
00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:02,479
No, Paul. I don't want
to miss a meeting.
215
00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:04,120
Paul. I can't be unprof...Paul!
216
00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,359
Can I trust you?
217
00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:11,759
With your life, sir.
218
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,720
This must go no further.
219
00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:16,719
Ellen is dating an undercover cop,
220
00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:18,999
and I have to go now
and sort it all out.
221
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:22,079
Ellen? Ellen's been infiltrated?
222
00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:24,240
D-Don't put it like that,
but, yes.
223
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,040
No-one must know.
224
00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:31,519
I'm privileged. The only one
in the know,
225
00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:34,999
like Matt Damon in The Departed.
226
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:38,720
It's actually Mark Wahlberg
who's in the know, but, yeah.
227
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,480
Yeah, Wahlberg.
228
00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:47,040
I'm Mark Wahlberg!
229
00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:50,600
Paul, where's the chief away to?
230
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,560
He has gone...
231
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:56,200
..to the dentist.
232
00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:02,200
Er, he's having a root canal
in his upper left third.
233
00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:12,160
Hey, Steve.
234
00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:17,199
I thought you were a vegan?
235
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:19,519
Oh, it's part of my cover, sir.
236
00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:22,439
To be honest, it's
the hardest part to keep up.
237
00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:24,559
Three-legged whippet!
238
00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:25,999
Is that the best
you could come up with?
239
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,439
I wouldn't be writing
your Oscar acceptance speech.
240
00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:30,079
You took me by surprise.
241
00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:32,079
It's hard doing it in front
of your boss.
242
00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:35,519
OK, you are "pretend seeing"
my daughter.
243
00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:37,999
How pretend? How embedded are you?
244
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,680
How deep has this gone?
245
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,640
SQUEAKING
246
00:10:46,560 --> 00:10:48,999
Yeah, not deep. Not deep at all.
247
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:52,039
Just... There's little to no depth.
We're just courting.
248
00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:55,199
Courting? How romantic.
Well, this ends now.
249
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:57,999
You've got to get yourself
transferred out of undercover ops.
250
00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,919
What, right now?Yes.
251
00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:01,999
I can get you a transfer
anywhere you want.
252
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:05,760
Armed response, motorcycle display
team - top of the triangle.
253
00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:08,279
What about money laundering?
254
00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:11,199
You'll meet a lot of nice girls
in the nail parlour.
255
00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:12,519
Just take your pick.
256
00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:14,679
Can't. My bosses will
never allow it.
257
00:11:14,680 --> 00:11:15,959
I'm your boss!
258
00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:17,999
No, I mean undercover bosses.
259
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:19,999
The bosses even you
can't know about.
260
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:23,239
Chief, the info I'm getting
is absolute gold dust.
261
00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:26,519
Nobody wants Antifa sparking up
a big old billy bifter
262
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,319
in the Holyrood box.
263
00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:31,720
OK, I'll figure out how to end this,
for Ellen's sake.
264
00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:34,639
How can I get in touch with you?
265
00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:36,200
Oh, er...
266
00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:42,239
Keep shtoom. OK.
267
00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:44,319
I'll be in contact with a plan.
268
00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:46,439
Remember, I'M your boss!
269
00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:48,480
And your fake girlfriend's father!
270
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:55,279
I think some might question
the use of taxpayer money
271
00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:58,079
to protect a brutal dictator.
272
00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:02,039
One man's dictator is another man's
straight-talking strongman.
273
00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:05,319
He's kept in power by
an oppressive police force.
274
00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:06,519
And?
275
00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:08,239
Is she...? Are you...? Is she...?
276
00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:11,319
What is the point in having laws
if we can't enforce them?
277
00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:14,599
Look, no-one's advocating
for a police state here.
278
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:16,399
Well...
279
00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:19,359
It's imperative we stop
protesters getting near him.
280
00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:21,439
Sitting in the middle of the road,
stopping normal folk
281
00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:22,719
getting to their work.
282
00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:24,439
I'd water cannon the lot of them.
283
00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:26,999
We need to respect civil liberties
284
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,999
and the democratic right to protest.
285
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:33,919
On that subject, Muldoon,
any feedback from undercover ops?
286
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,639
Have they turned out to be
a bit of a failure
287
00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:37,559
and not really
worth pursuing at all?
288
00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:40,999
Oh, no, sir.
Major result there, sir.
289
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,639
Undercover have came
through big style.
290
00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:47,159
With their intel, we've collared
a number of protesters
291
00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:50,639
and quashed their attempts
to shut down Edinburgh Airport.
292
00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:52,359
Tremendous.
293
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:54,559
Great news. Great news!
294
00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:57,999
But you're absolutely sure
the info came from undercover?
295
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,199
Well, yes. We got a tip-off.
296
00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,359
And because of that, we were able
to confiscate the drones
297
00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:05,799
they were going to use. Now we've
got them tabled up for media.
298
00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:08,159
The news is lapping it up.
299
00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:09,759
Well, maybe...
300
00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:12,799
Maybe now's the time to shut
undercover down.
301
00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:15,079
Quit while we're ahead.
Go out on a high.
302
00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:16,319
No way, sir.
303
00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:18,999
They are just getting started,
and they're going in deep.
304
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,999
Don't say deep. Deeper than
they've ever gone before.
305
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:25,199
Undercover is a fruit machine
that is going to keep paying out.
306
00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:27,880
Ka-ching, ka-ching, jackpot!
307
00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:31,599
Ka-ching. Good.
308
00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:33,279
No, no, no, Connie.
309
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:36,399
Just because the group we
targeted were anti-fascist
310
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,239
doesn't mean that
the Scottish Police Force
311
00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:39,999
are pro-fascist.
312
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:44,519
You can be anti-Antifa
and still not be pro-Profa.
313
00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:47,439
So you can guarantee our listeners,
then, that you'll preserve
314
00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:48,879
their right to protest?
315
00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:50,239
Absolutely.
316
00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:55,239
We are dedicated to protecting
citizens' right to protest.
317
00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:57,679
And their right to counter-protest.
318
00:13:57,680 --> 00:14:00,999
And indeed to protect
the rights of an overseas leader
319
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,799
who cracks down
on personal freedoms,
320
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:07,999
to move freely, personally
within Scotland.
321
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:11,999
Freedom of movement
is sacrosanct in Caledonia.
322
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,999
Old Firm day aside.
323
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,959
OK, our listeners
have had their say.
324
00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:17,799
As you would imagine,
it's split down the middle.
325
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:20,119
There are some who want
the visit banned completely,
326
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:21,599
and others who are saying,
327
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,639
"Let's give them the full
VIP treatment."
328
00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:26,519
We've had this text in from Senga,
who's in Sighthill,
329
00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:30,040
who'd like to point out that
the real fascists are BBC Scotland.
330
00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:33,999
Great press for your
Edinburgh Airport
331
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:35,599
shut down intervention.
332
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:37,359
This is what we like to see.
333
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:40,279
Oh, we do. Oh, and full marks
for your methods.
334
00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:43,800
It would appear that your
undercover ops are Top Of The Pops.
335
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:49,719
So you're happy to keep
the undercover ops operational?
336
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:51,319
Well, why would we not?
337
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:53,279
I'm concerned, Minister.
338
00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:54,919
Morally.
339
00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:59,679
One man's morals are another man's
career advancement opportunity.
340
00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:02,599
Why don't we have a pause
on the undercover ops,
341
00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:04,319
and then you could have an inquiry?
342
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,199
You love your inquiries here.
343
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:08,439
You could have an inquiry, and then
you could have an inquiry
344
00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:10,239
into THAT inquiry.
345
00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:12,919
We're both coming out
of this very well.
346
00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:16,519
The highest office in the land
is taking notice.
347
00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:19,040
So it's undercover all the way?
348
00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:22,399
Good, good.
349
00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:24,999
Steve, I can't shut it down.
Er...
350
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:26,599
I know I said I was going
to get you out,
351
00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:27,999
and I am going to get you out,
352
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,199
but you're not out.
353
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:32,359
Undercover's doing too good a job!
354
00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:35,439
Well, thank you -
but what about Ellen?
355
00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:39,519
You have my permission to continue
"fake seeing" my daughter.
356
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:43,279
But as long as there is
honour within the deceit!
357
00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:45,439
We'll practise safe... protesting.
358
00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:47,239
And once the operation's over,
359
00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:49,199
then you can finish with her!
360
00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:51,679
OK, sir. Understood.
361
00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:53,599
But gently.
362
00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:57,399
She has abandonment issues
with men for some reason.
363
00:15:57,400 --> 00:16:00,159
Here, is this car park Red Three?
364
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,199
Er, no, I think this is
car park Red Two.
365
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,160
You want one up, son.
Cheers.
366
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:16,759
Where are you going?
367
00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:18,239
To see Andy.
368
00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:22,999
Andy. H-How are you two
getting on?
369
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:24,839
I really like him.
370
00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:26,399
I just want you to be careful.
371
00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:27,599
Careful?!
372
00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:30,279
It's easy to get swept up
in a romance!
373
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:31,999
Are you policing my love life again?
374
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,999
"Love" - is there even
such a thing as love?
375
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,079
There's the sort of love
I feel for you
376
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:39,999
and, say, Pat Stanton...
377
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,199
..and then there's romantic love.
378
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:44,999
And the brutal truth is that
romantic love,
379
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,999
it lasts - whoa - 18 months, tops.
380
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,279
Just enough time for you
to get the local girl
381
00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:51,919
in the village pregnant.
382
00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,839
We're just conned into
continuing the species.
383
00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:57,559
Dad, Andy makes me happy.
384
00:16:57,560 --> 00:16:59,279
I just don't want you getting hurt.
385
00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:00,839
When you know, you know.
386
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:02,639
But you don't know.
387
00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:06,399
That's my point. Nobody ever knows.
388
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,200
I know.
You don't know.
389
00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:11,399
No!
390
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:12,679
Oh, what have I done?
391
00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:15,479
I forced my daughter to go out
with an undercover cop
392
00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:17,399
that she doesn't know
is an undercover cop,
393
00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:19,879
all for my own personal gain!
394
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:21,839
This is a moral nightmare.
395
00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:24,199
It's wrong. It's so wrong.
396
00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:28,999
Ellen's a real person
with real feelings.
397
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:31,039
You can't chart complicated emotions
398
00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:32,799
with wee bits of string.
399
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:35,399
I do have lots of colours.
400
00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:38,639
No, I have to put Ellen first.
401
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:41,239
I'm going to get in touch
with Steve and close it down.
402
00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:43,119
I don't care how good
the information is
403
00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:44,999
or how many arrests it leads to.
404
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,719
Or how pleased the Government is,
405
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:48,800
or how many medals
you might be awarded.
406
00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:52,599
Medals?
407
00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:55,519
You think there might be medals
in it for me?
408
00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:59,359
Lord Miekelson of Morningside.
409
00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:01,719
Got a bit of a ring to it.
Mm.
410
00:18:01,720 --> 00:18:02,999
Good.
411
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,799
No, what am I doing?
412
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:05,999
I'm doing it again!
413
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:09,279
No, I have to be
the responsible father.
414
00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:11,839
Ellen, she's just fallen in
with a bad crowd,
415
00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:13,559
and I have to deal with it.
416
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:15,520
Does that not mean
we're the bad crowd?
417
00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:19,999
You see, it's a moral maze!
418
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,320
I'm calling it in.
419
00:18:22,360 --> 00:18:23,839
PHONE RINGS
420
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:26,479
You're through to Andy. Please
don't bother leaving a message
421
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,319
on this tracking device
of the Deep State
422
00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:30,199
as I'm out fighting Nazis.
423
00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:32,040
Namaste-ay!
424
00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:35,999
Lyndsey, speaking hypothetically,
425
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,999
say I wanted to get in touch
426
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,839
with one of our
undercover operatives
427
00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:43,199
our little Donnie Brascos -
how would I go about that?
428
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:45,799
That's impossible. It could
compromise an operation.
429
00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:48,559
It goes completely against protocol.
430
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:50,999
But say I REALLY needed to?
431
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:54,759
If it was super imperative
that I speak to one of them?
432
00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:56,320
Sorry, Chief.
433
00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:58,799
Right.
434
00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:02,599
Ellen, I need to respect
your life choices more.
435
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,679
Invite Andy round again for dinner.
436
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:06,119
We'll have Mum, too.
437
00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:07,400
Clean slate.
438
00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:12,759
Let your father get to know
the real Andy.
439
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:14,239
OK.
440
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:15,639
Ah!
441
00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:17,640
That actually means
a lot to me, Dad.
442
00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:22,999
Andy! Oh! Hi!
443
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,999
Come on, let's hug it out, son!
444
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,639
Ah! Andy!
445
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:28,439
It's good to see you, Andy!
446
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:29,999
Have a seat.
447
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,199
Hi. Hi.
Hello, Barbara.
448
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:34,999
Mum, could you please give
me a hand in the kitchen?
449
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,799
Yeah, sure.
450
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,199
We are having Andy's favourite -
451
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:41,479
jackfruit and mushroom curry.
452
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:44,159
Oh, ANDY'S favourite?
453
00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:47,319
God, that is everyone's favourite!
454
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:49,400
Oh, delicious!
455
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:55,399
Steve, listen, I have a duty of care
to my daughter
456
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:58,279
that's more important than
any undercover operation.
457
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,839
And you have to stop seeing Ellen.
458
00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:03,799
Er, I can't do that, sir.
459
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:07,079
Yes, you can. You have to.
Forget work.
460
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:08,919
No, it's not that.
461
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:11,399
Well, what is it, then?
Well, I just...
462
00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:13,359
I really like her.
463
00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:16,759
What? Yeah, I've fallen
for her - hard.
464
00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:18,039
No, no, no, you haven't.
465
00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:20,239
Yeah. No, I have.No, no, you
haven't. No, you haven't.
466
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:21,599
Yeah, I have. I have.
No, no, you haven't.
467
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:23,999
No, you're not understanding me.
You have not fallen for her.
468
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:25,439
I have. I've really got to know her.
469
00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:27,639
You haven't. You've known her
for about two weeks!
470
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:29,999
Yeah, but when you know, you know!
471
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,679
But you don't know!
472
00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:33,319
Ellen, she's fickle.
473
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:36,159
One week it's Trotsky,
the next it's Taylor Swift.
474
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:37,639
Don't get involved with her.
475
00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:39,599
She doesn't know her arse
from her elbow, that one.
476
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:41,839
Whoa! Hey, don't insult
my girlfriend.
477
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:43,999
She's not your girlfriend!
478
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,519
Yeah, but she feels
like my girlfriend!
479
00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:49,519
Like, honestly, Chief, she's
so passionate in her beliefs.
480
00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:51,880
And her smile. Her smile, Chief!
481
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:54,999
The way her nose wrinkles -
it's adorable!
482
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,839
For 18 months, tops.
483
00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:00,319
And then everything that you find
adorable about her
484
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:02,559
will drive you out your nut!
485
00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:04,999
Like her chewing her hair when
she's watching the television,
486
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,839
and leaving her toe clippings
on the rim of the bath.
487
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:09,999
Oh, that's classic Ellen.
488
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,639
I just... I think we might
have a future together.
489
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:15,399
You do not have a future together.
490
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:17,239
It could be one of the great
love stories.
491
00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:19,759
Like, er, Jack and Rose!
492
00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:20,999
He died.
493
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:24,479
All right, well,
Anna Karenina and Vronsky.
494
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:25,759
She died.
495
00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:27,119
Romeo and Juliet.
496
00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:29,399
They both died!
497
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:32,919
Steve, Ellen is going to find
out that I've been lying to her.
498
00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:36,799
She's probably going to think
this whole thing was my idea.
499
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:38,999
My daughter will never speak
to me again,
500
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:41,119
and all because of you!
501
00:21:41,120 --> 00:21:43,239
Love will triumph.
502
00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:45,999
Steve, you've lost your mind.
503
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,879
Well, if love is losing your mind,
504
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:50,799
I don't want to be sane.
505
00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:52,079
OK, Steve...
506
00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:55,439
Gentlemen! Dinner's ready.
Oh, Steve's not hungry.
507
00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:56,719
Who's Steve?
508
00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:58,280
Hmm? Steve?
509
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:01,239
There's no Steve.
510
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:02,999
No. Are you...? Andy, are you Steve?
511
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,879
No.No, see? No Steve!
512
00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:07,719
No Steve.
No, Andy's not hungry.
513
00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:10,879
He's got one of these,
er, wee vegan tummies.
514
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:13,200
You know? It's about... It's about
the size of a walnut.
515
00:22:22,360 --> 00:22:25,999
You never did tell us what you do
for a living, Andrew.
516
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:27,519
That's a good question.
517
00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:29,999
Yeah, how do you earn
an honest crust, Andy?
518
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:33,599
Ah, it's... I dabble in
a bit of this, bit of that.
519
00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:35,799
Tell him!
520
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:37,040
Oh, it's...
521
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:39,799
I'm embarrassed.
522
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:42,999
He has a dream of being an actor.
523
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:44,519
Oh!Oh!
524
00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:46,999
An actor, Andy!
525
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,559
Oh, but that's tough work.
526
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:53,319
Pretending to be someone else
all day, working for a director -
527
00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:56,199
a boss that you have to obey.
528
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:58,639
Andy's not that
career-minded anyways.
529
00:22:58,640 --> 00:22:59,999
No.
530
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,519
Yeah, I'm beginning to sense that.
531
00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:04,599
A job is a job is a job.
532
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:06,599
Very true.
533
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:10,159
Some say work to live,
don't live to work.
534
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:13,359
Mm. Others say, "Do your work right
535
00:23:13,360 --> 00:23:16,199
"or your life won't
be worth living."
536
00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:18,100
BARBARA COUGHS
537
00:23:18,101 --> 00:23:19,999
Well, that was delicious.
538
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:22,479
Cheese? Pudding?
539
00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:24,599
Can I get you another
carton, Andrew?
540
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:27,999
Er, no. We better be going, Andy.
541
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:31,519
We are meeting some of the others
at the Blue Albion for a lock-in.
542
00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:32,879
Oh, best get going.
543
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:35,999
Yes, those anti-capitalist
leaflets and amusing banners -
544
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,119
well, they won't daub themselves!
545
00:23:38,120 --> 00:23:39,360
THEY LAUGH
546
00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:48,039
Don't you want Ellen to be happy?
547
00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:50,679
Why can't you even consider it?
548
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:54,479
And what are you doing telling her
there's no such thing as love?
549
00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:57,519
What sort of message is that?
550
00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:59,599
He's a decent young man.
551
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:03,119
You just can't see past
his politics or his lifestyle.
552
00:24:03,120 --> 00:24:06,679
Honestly, you're getting worse
as you get older.
553
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:09,039
Reactionary. Unforgiving.
554
00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:11,919
Intolerant. Impatient. Rude.
555
00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:14,399
He's an undercover cop!
556
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:16,480
He infiltrated our protest group.
557
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:20,440
Wow.
558
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:24,439
Cameron, this is pathetic.
559
00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:27,839
If you don't like him, just own it.
560
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:29,999
I do like him.
561
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:31,600
But as a policeman.
562
00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:34,480
Don't tell anyone.
563
00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:39,719
Right, troops. Today's the day.
564
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:42,279
Undercover have came through,
big style.
565
00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:43,999
Total dynamite info.
566
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,559
Now, we know a couple
of protest groups will be meeting
567
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:49,119
at a warehouse
before travelling to blockade
568
00:24:49,120 --> 00:24:51,119
the A8 from the airport.
569
00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:53,959
Intel suggests
they've got a couple of JCBs,
570
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:57,719
a trailer full of concrete slabs
and some vats of orange paint
571
00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:00,879
with the potential to
seriously derail the visit.
572
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:04,119
Well, it's our job
to piss on their chips. Yes!
573
00:25:04,120 --> 00:25:06,519
ALL CHEER
574
00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:08,079
Let's go, go, go!
575
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:09,640
Come on, move it!
576
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:29,000
We're going to go in fast, in hard.
577
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:31,759
One minute away, Keith.
578
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:33,000
Good luck.
579
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:36,760
Right. 30 seconds away.
580
00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:58,320
Move it, move it!
581
00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:00,720
Settle. Settle.
582
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:05,319
That's us in position, Chief.
583
00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:06,760
It's boom, shake the room time.
584
00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:16,319
Three, two, one...
585
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:17,960
Go, go, go!
586
00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:25,680
Ohh, shite!
587
00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:30,519
We've been given
duff information, Chief.
588
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:33,039
Steve's been played. Fake intel.
589
00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:34,359
HE SIGHS
590
00:26:34,360 --> 00:26:36,920
POLICE SIREN RINGTONE
591
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:42,279
Minister. What is going on,
Chief Commissioner? Mm?
592
00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:43,759
Parliament is besieged.
593
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:46,399
It's utter mayhem.
Protestors everywhere.
594
00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:48,119
I thought you were
detaining them all.
595
00:26:48,120 --> 00:26:50,159
We were fed a false lead, Minister.
596
00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:52,759
Where's, er, Golden Goose?
597
00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:55,599
He's taken refuge in a tartan
gift shop on the high street.
598
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:57,759
Well, he does love his knick-knacks.
599
00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:00,119
This is a disaster.
600
00:27:00,120 --> 00:27:02,279
I am going to recommend
to Parliament
601
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:05,559
that this undercover programme
is shut down once and for all.
602
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:07,719
Good, yes.
603
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:09,639
Excellent idea.
604
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:11,400
Wise move, Minister.
605
00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:25,080
So Andy and I
have decided to take a break.
606
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:27,760
Really? Yeah.
607
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:32,679
Turns out he wasn't quite
the man I thought he was.
608
00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:34,479
Hmm.
609
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:39,319
Or maybe you aren't quite the woman
he thought you were, either.
610
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:40,520
Yeah, maybe.
611
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:43,959
Oh. When did you work it out?
612
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:48,199
I suspected he was a blue
from the moment I met him.
613
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:51,119
Ironed jeans. Come on.
614
00:27:51,120 --> 00:27:54,439
But it was confirmed
when I got him to meet you.
615
00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:55,519
Got him to meet me?
616
00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:57,199
Yeah. I needed to be sure,
617
00:27:57,200 --> 00:28:00,959
so I invited him for drinks,
and you blew it big time.
618
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:03,959
"Oh, oh, oh, oh! Let's shake hands,
619
00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:06,039
"because we are meeting
for the first time,
620
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:07,800
"and that's what normal people do."
621
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:12,239
Don't ever play poker, Dad.
622
00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:14,359
Solid police work, Miekelson.
623
00:28:14,360 --> 00:28:18,920
Sorry. He was a terrible
undercover cop.
624
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:23,680
Good shag, though.
625
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:29,039
♪ Would I lie to you?
626
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:30,719
♪ Oh, yeah
627
00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:32,519
♪ Would I lie to you, honey?
628
00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:34,479
♪ Oh, no, no, no
629
00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:38,319
♪ Now would I say something
that wasn't true?
630
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:43,119
♪ I'm asking you, sugar,
would I lie to you?
631
00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:46,839
♪ My friends know what's in store
632
00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:50,239
♪ I won't be here any more
633
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:53,839
♪ I've packed my bags,
I've cleaned the floor
634
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:57,200
♪ Watch me walking,
walking out the door... ♪
46609
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