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1
00:00:02,280 --> 00:00:03,640
Goodnight.
2
00:00:03,640 --> 00:00:05,880
Ah, cutbacks, belt tightening.
3
00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:07,560
We just don't have the budget.
4
00:00:07,560 --> 00:00:09,240
You're working too hard, Chief.
5
00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:10,920
Mm. Do you know where I've got to?
6
00:00:10,920 --> 00:00:14,000
Can we make a saving
with smaller dogs
7
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,400
or thinner horses?
8
00:00:17,240 --> 00:00:18,680
HE SIGHS
9
00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:26,600
I have a duty of care
for all employees of the SPF.
10
00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:30,600
Do you have a social life
away from the force?
11
00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:34,920
Remember, if you don't de-stress,
you might find yourself in distress.
12
00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:36,440
I've seen the poster.
13
00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:39,320
We must cherish
personal relationships.
14
00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:41,200
A romantic life.
15
00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:43,000
It's an important human need.
16
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:46,520
Well, this important human needs to
find a 2.6% annual reduction
17
00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:49,760
in overspend.
Divorced men die younger.
18
00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:51,440
Well, that escalated quickly.
19
00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:53,640
One minute I'm back on
the dating scene,
20
00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:55,400
the next, you're organising
my funeral!
21
00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:58,520
Well, I'd encourage you
to consider what I've said.
22
00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:01,800
I'm married to my work,
and justice is my mistress.
23
00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:06,280
Maybe we lose one entirely.
24
00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:07,920
Dogs or horses?
25
00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:09,880
The vegan lobby say both.
26
00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:13,680
The vegan lobby? We're sitting on
the horses, we're not eating them!
27
00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:16,400
They don't want to charge through
a football riot.
28
00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:18,000
They'd rather be in the meadow.
29
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:20,040
We'd all rather be in the meadow,
Lindsay.
30
00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:22,440
Oidhche mhath, Chief.
31
00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:23,880
Mm-hm.
32
00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:38,400
Ah! So you've met Squid.
Miek.
33
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,200
Squid?
34
00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:43,480
Squid.
35
00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:45,520
Is Squid your boyfriend?
36
00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:47,440
I don't do labels.
37
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,200
We have sex occasionally.
38
00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:52,400
Good sex, actually.
He's a contortionist.
39
00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:55,200
Ellen, please! Boundaries.
40
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:56,320
What?!
41
00:01:56,320 --> 00:02:01,720
Dad, parents and children should
be able to talk openly about sex.
42
00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:04,360
I hope when I was conceived,
it was great sex.
43
00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:05,400
Was it?
44
00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:07,000
It was in Galashiels.
45
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:08,880
That's all I'm willing to divulge.
46
00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:11,880
Dad, are you ever going
to start dating again?
47
00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:14,760
Get yourself a Squid!
48
00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:18,280
I hardly think the top table
at the National Bravery Awards
49
00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:21,160
are all going to shuffle up
to make room for a juggler.
50
00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:25,880
No, I'm married to my work,
and justice is my mistress.
51
00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:28,040
Anyway, I like living alone.
52
00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:29,800
Yeah, I won't be here forever.
53
00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:31,160
Oh, no, I didn't mean that, Ellen.
54
00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:32,960
No, I love having you here,
I really do,
55
00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:36,680
and if you want to...to bring
home an...an associate,
56
00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:38,080
then that's fine.
57
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:42,560
That's me done my warm up,
Ellie Jelly. Are you coming?
58
00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:44,800
You all right with this, Dad?
59
00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:46,720
Squid can get
a wee bit performative.
60
00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:51,880
I... Yes, I'm fine.
61
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:55,120
Fire in. I'm...
I'm totally relaxed about this.
62
00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:57,720
I'm... I'm glad
we had this little chat.
63
00:02:57,720 --> 00:02:59,280
I, I...
64
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:00,800
Nice to meet you, Squid.
65
00:03:03,640 --> 00:03:07,240
FOLK MUSIC PLAYS
66
00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:11,040
HE SIGHS
67
00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:19,200
So what happened
with the outreach poster?
68
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:22,440
Well, in an overabundance
of eagerness to reach out
69
00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:26,400
with our outreach campaign,
we omitted to, er...
70
00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:29,800
Spell check?
Oh, right enough! No W in sword.
71
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:32,160
Good news is
the public noticed the typo.
72
00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:34,960
They're engaging with the message.
How much to redo them?
73
00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:37,880
Oh, don't worry.
We can shift some funds around.
74
00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:41,080
We'll take something
from the canine division.
75
00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:42,400
What, smaller dogs?
76
00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:44,120
Well, leaner.
77
00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:46,200
Onto more important matters.
78
00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:48,960
The inter-forces rugby sevens.
79
00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:51,320
Are you playing this year, Katriona?
80
00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:52,640
I'm captain.
81
00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:55,720
Oh, right.
Well, we're going to pump you!
82
00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:59,360
Yeah! Yes, especially if you've
got the Chief on your side,
83
00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:01,360
because he's got hands
like cows' tits.
84
00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:04,160
Unfortunately, no,
I won't be playing.
85
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:06,320
Years of dominating the line-out,
86
00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:08,680
it's played havoc
with my hamstrings.
87
00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:10,360
They're like cheese wires now.
88
00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:11,520
No, no.
89
00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:15,640
Cameron "Skydancer" Miekelson
will be managing from the touchline.
90
00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:18,320
Oh, well, you can pick up Katriona,
then, when she folds
91
00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:19,560
like a deckchair!
92
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:20,920
Not gonnae happen.
93
00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:22,960
Not against your bin juice.
94
00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:25,800
Oh, we'll see, we'll see!
Tan you later.
95
00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:27,160
Una.
96
00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:30,360
Right.
97
00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:33,000
So what anchor
is responsible for this?
98
00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:35,320
Er, process malfunction.
99
00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:37,280
Well, OK, but if it's a recall,
I don't like the photograph.
100
00:04:37,280 --> 00:04:39,400
They're too cheery.
Come on, we're the police force!
101
00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:41,240
They could be policing
a bouncy castle.
102
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:42,920
Yeah, it's all a bit CBeebies.
103
00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:45,800
Paul, pull up that file
of stock images.
104
00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:47,560
We want serious.
105
00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:49,240
We mean business.
106
00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:52,080
This is what happens
when things aren't run by me.
107
00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:54,360
From now on,
I want to sign off on everything.
108
00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:56,880
Yeah. That one.
109
00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,320
There you go.
That's more like it.
110
00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:02,560
Now, they wouldn't think twice
111
00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:05,600
about throwing Tinky Winky
into the back of the van!
112
00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:11,280
Paul? If, and it's a pretty big if,
113
00:05:11,280 --> 00:05:14,280
I was to hop on to one of
the popular dating apps,
114
00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:16,280
which one would you recommend?
115
00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:20,240
Erm, well, it depends
what you're looking for.
116
00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:23,000
Hook-ups? NSA? No strings attached?
117
00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:25,040
Swingers? Kink if you want.
118
00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:27,120
Chemsex? BDSM? Furries?
119
00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:29,360
Furries?
Or something more regular.
120
00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:32,520
Tinder, Bumble, Soul Mates,
Destiny Dreamers...
121
00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:34,120
There's so many!
122
00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:38,480
It's like... It's like a massive
Amazon warehouse of women.
123
00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:42,120
Can you put some of them in the
basket while you think about it?
124
00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:46,600
And, Paul, what I'm really
looking for, is there one,
125
00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:49,840
you know, designed specifically
for people like me, you know?
126
00:05:49,840 --> 00:05:51,160
Old?
Important.
127
00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:52,760
Grizzled?
Distinguished.
128
00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:55,960
Look, sir, why don't
we just jump straight in
129
00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:58,640
and create you a profile,
and off you go?
130
00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:01,080
Well, if you think...
If you think I'm ready.
131
00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:02,360
Yeah. Take a photo.
132
00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:04,800
OK, let's do it.
133
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:05,960
Right!
134
00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:09,360
Let's do this.
135
00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:14,320
I'm not too famous
for this, Paul, am I?
136
00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:16,560
We'll probably get papped,
poor woman.
137
00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:18,680
It'll be like being Meghan Markle!
138
00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:22,680
Are you putting in my likes
and dislikes?
139
00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:25,520
Er, so I've put walking,
eating, thinking,
140
00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:29,080
nothing to turn anyone off.
Hmm. Don't forget GSOH.
141
00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:31,600
Oh, no, everyone puts
good sense of humour.
142
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,440
In this case,
the G stands for "great".
143
00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:34,880
Oh!
144
00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:37,800
You are now...live.
145
00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:40,400
Welcome to the dating world, Chief.
146
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,640
Exciting.
147
00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:44,680
Keep this on the wheesht,
though, Paul.
148
00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:53,520
Oh!
149
00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:55,440
Have a word with yourself, love!
150
00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:57,200
Sir?
Hmm?
151
00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:59,000
Oh, Katriona. Yeah... Er...
152
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,160
Budgets. Big decisions to be made.
153
00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:02,920
And how can I...? How can I help you?
154
00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:05,560
The fixtures for the
touch rugby tourney. Oh!
155
00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:08,720
We need to hit our straps.
Justice first game.
156
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:10,880
OK, well, you know the score.
157
00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:13,000
Let Una run in a couple
for her Insta story
158
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,400
and then feed it to mad Mike,
159
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:16,480
sorry - lucidly compromised Mike -
160
00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:18,600
and let the mullering begin!
161
00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:20,320
That cup's coming home.
162
00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:21,640
Excellent.
163
00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:27,040
Katriona, sorry, could I hit you with
something slightly from left field?
164
00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:28,600
Erm...
165
00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:30,080
..do you date?
166
00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:31,480
You're not my type, sir.
167
00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:34,480
Oh, good lord! No, I'm not
suggesting that you and I...
168
00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:37,040
No, no, no,
that would be inappropriate.
169
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,520
You can't date a subordinate.
170
00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:42,160
Which, unfortunately, rules out
an office romance for me
171
00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:44,320
because, well,
everybody's my subordinate.
172
00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:46,680
Unless I dated Una, of course,
173
00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:48,320
or the First Minister.
174
00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:50,160
But then... But then
I'm THEIR subordinate,
175
00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:51,800
so it's a catch-22.
176
00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:54,720
Action tends to find me, sir.
177
00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:55,960
Very much like police work.
178
00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:58,760
I scan the situation,
consider the options,
179
00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:01,520
and before you know it,
the target's going down.
180
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,320
Well, good for you.
181
00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:08,600
Ram that team with ringers, Katriona.
182
00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:11,880
Make Duhan van der Merwe an honorary
constable if you have to.
183
00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:14,400
That trophy is ours.
Nice!
184
00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:17,160
HE SIGHS
185
00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:21,200
I'm not happy, Paul.
186
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:22,680
Oh, no swipes?
187
00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:24,640
Did warn you.
188
00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:28,000
Oh, I've got swipes, Paul.
Swipes aplenty.
189
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,680
No, the issue is with those
who are doing the swiping.
190
00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:31,920
Oh, the swipers.
191
00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:33,680
I'm not one to judge, Paul,
192
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:36,680
but honestly, some of these swipers,
193
00:08:36,680 --> 00:08:39,080
they are punching well above.
194
00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:41,040
Look!
195
00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:43,280
A curler from Ardrossan!
196
00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:45,600
The third best quilter in Fife?!
197
00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:49,760
This one jokes that she's still got
most of her own teeth.
198
00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:52,320
Yeah. You can see a pattern here,
Paul.
199
00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:54,480
Yeah, there's...
There's a lot of colour rinses.
200
00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:56,840
Where's the attractive
art gallery owner?
201
00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:59,240
The widowed dance instructor?
202
00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,800
It's all a bit daytime telly advert
for funeral expenses.
203
00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:06,640
Hmm. All a bit
"free pen just for enquiring."
204
00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:10,200
Oh, it's the profile pic
you took, Paul.
205
00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:11,600
It's too mundane.
206
00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:15,640
I need to look younger,
more vibrant, more the chief!
207
00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:16,680
Come on!
208
00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:18,240
Capture the full Miekelson.
209
00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:29,800
Right, come on!
Let's get intae these bastards.
210
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:31,240
Take no prisoners.
211
00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:33,640
Especially from the prison service.
212
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:34,880
Yeah! Come on!
213
00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:38,360
I know it's touch rugby, but see
when we play the Fire Service?
214
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:40,240
You can leave an elbow in.
215
00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:43,880
Might just wake them up, eh?
Yeah!
216
00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:47,240
But listen, ca' canny
when we play the Justice Department.
217
00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:48,920
Aye. That mob are up first.
218
00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:51,160
Now, they've underfunded us
for years,
219
00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:53,520
taking credit
when things have gone well,
220
00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:55,440
dissed us when they've gone badly.
221
00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:58,760
Well, today - today's payback time!
222
00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:00,400
CHEERING
Come on!
223
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,200
Police! Police! Police!
Let's go!
224
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,480
On you go, Dan!
225
00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:06,040
Come on, Sasha.
226
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,160
SHOUTING AND CHEERING
227
00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:10,320
Let her score a couple first!
Then it's Miller time.
228
00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:14,000
Then fill your boots.
But...let her just score a couple.
229
00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:20,400
Ah! There we go.
230
00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:23,920
Oh, Rohan! Rohan, have you heard?
231
00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:25,400
Oh, Katriona!
232
00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:27,280
Oh, she flattened Una!
233
00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:29,120
I thought it was touch rugby.
234
00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:31,120
Ah, so did we all.
235
00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:32,840
But no, not Katriona.
236
00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:34,880
The red mist descended.
237
00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:36,520
Una was making a break,
238
00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:39,760
Katriona gets a touch on her,
but she follows through.
239
00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:41,600
Absolutely empties her!
240
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:44,520
I thought she'd slow down
when they hit the burger van,
241
00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:47,120
but no, no, not our Katriona!
242
00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:48,960
Well, at least the Ambulance Service
were on site.
243
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:51,200
No, they'd been knocked out.
Gone back to the hospital.
244
00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:53,320
Took them three hours
to get back to us.
245
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:54,960
We'll wait till
Una's out of the hospital
246
00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:57,520
before we run the photos with you
and the cup on the socials.
247
00:10:57,520 --> 00:11:00,880
Oh! Here she is!
248
00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:02,480
The assassin.
249
00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:04,120
I'm sorry, sir.
250
00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:05,560
I don't know what came over me.
251
00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:10,160
Ah! When the history of this game
comes to be written,
252
00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:12,520
one name will be legend.
253
00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:15,600
One name will make
mere mortals quake.
254
00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:20,200
Katriona Muldoon,
the Butcher of Garcrummoch.
255
00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:23,800
Three broken ribs,
dislocated collarbone.
256
00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:27,120
It's an interesting career move,
hospitalising your boss.
257
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:30,440
Call me a traditionalist,
but it's a wee bit radical.
258
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:33,440
I'm going to go and visit her,
apologise again in person.
259
00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:36,080
Yeah. I wouldn't take any grapes.
Probably can't chew.
260
00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:37,800
Soup and a straw, Muldoon.
261
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:39,360
Soup and a straw.
262
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:47,680
On the old apps there...
263
00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:49,920
..Miek?
264
00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:52,760
Dipping my toe in...Squid.
265
00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:56,680
I bet you're hoping to dip in
more than your...toe.
266
00:11:56,680 --> 00:12:00,000
Not really appropriate, Squid.
267
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,400
Hey, your dad's on the apps, Ellen.
268
00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:05,200
Oh! Back in the game, Dad?
269
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:06,480
Any takers?
270
00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:08,520
A considerable amount,
actually, yes,
271
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,120
but they're from a different strata.
272
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:13,200
You know, nothing against them,
but I can't take someone
273
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,600
to meet the King at the
Braemar Highland Games,
274
00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:18,560
only for them to get their
Zimmer stuck in the mud.
275
00:12:18,560 --> 00:12:23,080
Why don't you try this?
Jetset Dating Agency.
276
00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:24,400
That's what Mum did.
277
00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:31,160
"A site for successful high achievers
with a substantial net worth."
278
00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:35,080
Hang on,
is this where she met Malky?
279
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:36,760
Ha! No!
280
00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:38,560
She met him in the queue at Lidl.
281
00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:39,920
Ah.
282
00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:41,400
How is Malky?
283
00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:43,360
Oh, he's a freaky wee radge.
284
00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:45,600
You know, last time
I was at Mum's... What?
285
00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:49,440
..I found him drying his underwear
in the air fryer.
286
00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:52,040
Cheaper than the tumble dryer,
apparently.
287
00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:56,120
Who does that?
A freaky wee radge does that!
288
00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:59,920
Yes. Yes. This is more like it.
289
00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:02,680
Yeah, forget the retired
dance instructor.
290
00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:06,800
Go for the creative director
of the National Ballet.
291
00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:08,040
Exactly!
292
00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:11,640
Entitled. Privileged.
Right up your street, Dad.
293
00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:14,880
I could give you an intro
to a trapeze artist I used to know.
294
00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:16,400
Retired now.
295
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:19,080
She looks a little like
the big lady from Game Of...
296
00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:21,480
..Thrones.
297
00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:25,760
OK. Spelling good,
298
00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:27,280
cops mean,
299
00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:29,160
no skeletons in the closet.
300
00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:32,800
Convictions, perversions,
dodgy posts, iffy likes...
301
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:35,000
Watertight. Happy?
302
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,520
You signing off?
Signing off. Print them!
303
00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:40,600
Ah, Katriona! How kind. For me?
304
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:43,400
I'm heading up to the hospital
to see Una. Oh.
305
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:45,160
I thought you'd already
visited her.
306
00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:47,440
I have, but I just feel
so responsible.
307
00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:49,920
She's lying up there
all on her own, having to work.
308
00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:51,280
She could use the company.
309
00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:53,800
OK, well, send her my best.
Will do, sir.
310
00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:58,040
Do you think I should visit Una,
Paul?
311
00:13:58,040 --> 00:13:59,680
Katriona's got that covered.
312
00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:02,160
You don't want to
schlep up there every day.
313
00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:05,440
Well, I wasn't thinking of going
ev... Is Katriona going every day?!
314
00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:06,840
Every other day.
315
00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:08,000
Hmm.
316
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,760
Oh, I've got that information
you asked for...
317
00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:13,920
Excellent!
..on the Jetset Dating Agency.
318
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,440
The next chance to mingle
with fellow professionals
319
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,680
from the elite is tomorrow evening.
320
00:14:18,680 --> 00:14:21,280
Private room, Glenogles Townhouse.
321
00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:24,720
Oh! Filter out the hoi polloi,
Paul.
322
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:27,080
The public school of dating.
323
00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:29,680
Sign me up, but keep it between us.
324
00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:32,680
I don't want to lose my
man of the people image.
325
00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:34,200
You can count on me, sir.
326
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:38,280
Do you know, Paul?
I think I will visit Una.
327
00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:42,440
Can't have Katriona sucking up
to the Justice Minister without me.
328
00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:45,680
No, those two as pals
would be a disaster.
329
00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:47,120
Get her on the line.
330
00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:52,240
Una Struan. Leave a message.
331
00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:53,560
I'll just pop in.
332
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:54,960
Surprise her.
333
00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:58,120
"Una Struan. Leave a message."
334
00:14:58,120 --> 00:14:59,720
She doesn't hang about.
335
00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:02,040
She's a busy woman.
Makes a statement.
336
00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:03,360
"My time is precious."
337
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:05,440
Aye, it's a status thing, is it?
338
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:08,520
Maybe I should shorten mine.
339
00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:10,000
What is it again?
340
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,840
LINE RINGS
341
00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:15,200
Well, good morning, afternoon,
or evening!
342
00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:18,920
You are through to the voicemail
of Cameron Miekelson,
343
00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:22,280
Chief Commissioner of the
Scottish Police Force.
344
00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:24,520
If you'd be so kind
as to leave a message,
345
00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:27,400
I will endeavour
to get back to you pronto,
346
00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:31,240
not only forthwith,
but with alacrity.
347
00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:34,360
But I warn you, I'm a busy man!
348
00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:37,640
No, that's fine.
349
00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:43,640
Ellen, I'm not sure about this shirt.
Have you seen my white one?
350
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:47,000
Squid accidentally
washed it with his pantaloons.
351
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,280
Oh!
352
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:51,960
And does he have to
oil his unicycle in the kitchen?
353
00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:53,880
Squid! Can I have a word?
354
00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:58,360
Squid, I think we've been on
a wonderful journey together,
355
00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:00,640
and I think we've both grown
as people.
356
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:04,480
But I do feel that
a travelling minstrel must travel.
357
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:05,800
So I think...
358
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:08,080
No worries, Miek.
Your house, your rules.
359
00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:09,840
I'll grab my stuff.
360
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:12,040
Oh! I'm sorry, Ellen
361
00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:13,720
Yes, yes, yes!
362
00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:16,080
Thank you, Dad!
I thought you liked him!
363
00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:18,360
I do, but I don't want
to live with him!
364
00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:20,360
Well, why didn't you tell him
to leave?
365
00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:21,880
I don't like confrontation.
366
00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:23,840
Your whole life is confrontation!
367
00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:26,280
I don't like
emotional confrontation.
368
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:27,680
Got that from you.
369
00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:33,800
Got to bounce, girl.
370
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:37,560
Think I'll head to Findhorn,
work on my creative identity.
371
00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:42,880
THEY INHALE AND EXHALE DEEPLY
372
00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:46,160
Later. Love you.
373
00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:49,960
Squid.
Miek.
374
00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:53,000
Safe travels.
375
00:16:55,080 --> 00:17:00,120
I will never understand
modern relationships.
376
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:01,760
They come, they go.
377
00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:05,480
So what do you think?
378
00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:06,960
Any advice? Do's and don'ts?
379
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:08,480
Consent is key.
380
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:11,520
You can never be too careful.
Check everything.
381
00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:13,360
May I shake your hand?
May I quip?
382
00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:16,040
Better safe than sorry. Yeah.
May I have another foie gras canape?
383
00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:17,440
May I go to the toilet?
384
00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:18,600
Not the last one.
385
00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:20,640
No. Too primary school.
Too primary school, yes.
386
00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:26,360
May I go dating?
387
00:17:26,360 --> 00:17:27,600
You may!
388
00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:30,920
Wish me luck.
389
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:32,160
Good luck.
390
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:41,840
Ah! Una!
391
00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:43,320
Oh, there he is.
392
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:45,640
So you're getting to see
up close and personal
393
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:48,000
the damage your government's
done to our health care.
394
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,400
Oh! Top bants, Cammy.
395
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,640
Oh, I think you made my ribs
snap again.
396
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:55,040
Seriously...
Oh, what's this? For you.
397
00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:57,520
Thank you very much, Cameron.
398
00:17:57,520 --> 00:17:58,880
Let me see...
399
00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:02,240
Oh! And you've even managed
to spell your name right.
400
00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:04,200
Unlike your poster.
401
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:07,080
I didn't know that Aldi
did get well cards.
402
00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:09,000
Thank you.
They do. They do.
403
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,920
Ah. So, Una, I just...
404
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:13,920
I just wanted to see you in person
405
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:18,040
to apologise for my deputy's
unfortunate loss of control.
406
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:20,120
If you want her gone,
just, you know,
407
00:18:20,120 --> 00:18:22,480
tip me the wink
and I'll pull the trigger.
408
00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:27,320
Oh, Katriona! We were just
talking about you there.
409
00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:30,800
So you're back?
Yeah, I was, erm, just getting tea.
410
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:33,320
Oh! Katriona, you're a life-saver.
411
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:36,200
I got them to leave the teabag in.
Thank you so much. Thank you.
412
00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:42,400
I'm a bag out man myself.
413
00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:47,360
Unless it's fruit tea,
interestingly.
414
00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:49,760
Or an iced tea,
415
00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:51,960
although I'm not entirely sure if
there's even a bag involved
416
00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:55,080
in iced tea. Is there a bag involved
in iced tea, Katriona?
417
00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:57,440
I wouldn't know, sir.
I've never had one of them.
418
00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:59,080
Oh! If you ever get the opportunity,
419
00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:00,960
there's a lovely little
pintxo place
420
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:02,680
in the Barrio Gotico in Barcelona.
421
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:05,800
They make a wonderful iced tea!
You should try it some time.
422
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:07,600
Have you ever been to Barcelona?
423
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:08,960
No, sir. No.
424
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:14,200
I went to Blackpool last Easter.
425
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:16,960
No way.
I went to Blackpool last Easter!
426
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:18,760
Really?
Yeah, The Metropole.
427
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:20,800
I've been going there
since I was a kid.
428
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:22,960
What's the name of the
wee restaurant round the corner?
429
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:24,280
Oh. Turtle Bay.
430
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:25,440
That's the one!
Yeah.
431
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:29,200
Wet Nelly.
Oh, come on!
432
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:33,160
Wet Nelly. I think I saw her
supporting Jemmy Tarbuck once.
433
00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:35,160
No, sir. It's a pudding.
434
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:36,560
Bread and butter.
435
00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:38,640
Oh, Wet Nelly. Yes, of course.
436
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:44,360
I always feel that bread
and butter pudding benefits
437
00:19:44,360 --> 00:19:47,440
from using a combination
of brioche and panettone.
438
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:50,280
Like Mrs Bannerman
used to do in the bun room.
439
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:53,160
Did you have a bun room
at school, Katriona?
440
00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:54,480
No, sir.
441
00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:58,040
We had a gun room.
442
00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:01,160
Oh!
443
00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:02,320
A gun room!
444
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:03,800
A gun room at school!
445
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:05,200
HE CHUCKLES
446
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:07,400
Very... That's funny.
447
00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:13,880
Well, I should really
be making tracks. Yes.
448
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,240
It's, er... Get well soon, Una.
449
00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:17,760
Katriona.
Sir.
450
00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:21,040
Cameron, you're looking very smart.
Are you off somewhere?
451
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:24,400
Yes. Off to a function
where successful professionals
452
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:26,240
can meet other high achievers.
453
00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:28,040
Oh, on the sniff, eh?
454
00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:31,680
Well, may the handsome prince
find his princess.
455
00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:33,480
Ha-ha! Well, goodnight, then.
456
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:37,800
LAUGHTER
457
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:49,560
Here we go.
458
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:51,800
Cameron!
459
00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:53,400
There you go, Cameron.
Thank you.
460
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:59,120
LOW CHATTER AND PIANO MUSIC
461
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:06,720
Consent?
462
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:08,120
Consent.
463
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:12,560
So, er, what do you do for a living?
464
00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:16,360
Lothian and Borders area manager
for a conservatory suppliers.
465
00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:17,840
Well, it's been nice chatting,
466
00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:19,800
but there's a lot of people
to get through.
467
00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:24,440
I don't wish to be rude, and I'm not
going to ask for my money back,
468
00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:29,120
but you see, Angela,
she's an area manager.
469
00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:31,760
Conservatories! I...
470
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:35,600
I thought this was an event
for jet setters,
471
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:37,040
high achievers.
472
00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:39,840
Area manager?
473
00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:42,800
You want to up your game.
474
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:44,560
Thanks for your feedback.
475
00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:46,240
It's my pleasure.
476
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:56,800
Bethany.
477
00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:58,400
Yes, I've just had an Angela.
478
00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:00,480
There's a Catherine and a Davina.
479
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:02,640
I could do you all alphabetically!
Well, not "do you"!
480
00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:04,600
But, you know... Cameron.
481
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:07,080
I'll just have to do
an Andrew and a Brian,
482
00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:09,080
and I'll be ready for you.
483
00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:11,480
GSOH!
484
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:13,200
Great sense of humour.
485
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:14,920
So what do you do?
486
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:17,080
I'm the COO of an oil company.
487
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:19,000
Ah, that's more like it.
488
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:20,440
Bingo!
489
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:22,320
It could prove difficult
with my daughter,
490
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:25,400
but, you know, let's...
Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
491
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:30,640
Last night, I saw a really
fun Mamma Mia at the Playhouse.
492
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:33,560
Wonderful show. The energy!
493
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:36,000
Everyone was dancing in the aisles
by the end of it.
494
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:39,280
It's a bit random,
but would you find it odd
495
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:42,280
if your deputy and your boss
were getting close?
496
00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:44,600
I've never really thought about it.
497
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:46,200
Do you have a favourite ABBA song?
498
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:50,720
Hmm? Oh, The Day Before You Came.
I prefer the melancholic.
499
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:52,840
I adore Super Trouper.
500
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:57,920
But your deputy and your boss,
it's definitely odd, don't you think?
501
00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:00,240
Maybe this conversation
isn't for now.
502
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:02,360
Well...
Cameron?!
503
00:23:02,360 --> 00:23:03,560
No...
504
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:04,880
Barbara!
505
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:07,080
What are you doing here?
506
00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:08,880
Oh!
507
00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:10,800
This is Bethany.
508
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:13,080
Bethany, this is Barbara, my wife.
509
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:14,640
Hello.
510
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:16,320
This is not that kind of event.
511
00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:17,800
Oh, no! No, no, I'm not...
512
00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:19,880
Sorry. I'm not suggesting
that we all...
513
00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:21,200
No, she's my ex-wife.
514
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:23,560
Nice chatting.
515
00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:27,640
I can't believe it.
516
00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:29,360
I mean, what are the chances?
517
00:23:29,360 --> 00:23:30,920
So how are you?
518
00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:33,800
You're looking good,
if I have your consent to say that.
519
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:35,880
Ellen got into your head, has she?
520
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:37,240
Oh, and then some.
521
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:38,880
That's our daughter.
522
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:42,800
Well, you're looking good too,
Cameron.
523
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:44,240
Well, thanks for lying.
524
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:47,080
I'm overworked. I'm stressed.
That's why I'm here.
525
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:49,920
Just to get myself
a little bit of "me" time.
526
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:53,080
Bet you weren't expecting it
to turn into a bit of "us" time!
527
00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:55,400
I was not expecting that, no.
528
00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:59,000
But, er, no, it's...
It's good to see you.
529
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:01,960
Nice to see you too, Cameron.
530
00:24:03,120 --> 00:24:05,120
So, does, er...
531
00:24:05,120 --> 00:24:07,040
Does Malky know you're here?
532
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,080
It's over with Malcolm.
533
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:11,480
Ah.
534
00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:15,360
Well...I'm not going to lie,
I'm glad to see the back of him.
535
00:24:15,360 --> 00:24:16,880
I don't want to talk about it.
536
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:18,520
Well, you can't be that upset.
537
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:20,240
I mean, you're down here
quick enough, you know,
538
00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:21,520
looking for a new one.
539
00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:24,680
Although if it's another Malky you're
after, you won't find him here.
540
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:26,640
Get yourself down to Poundland!
541
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:28,120
It was Lidl.
542
00:24:28,120 --> 00:24:29,480
It was Lidl. Of course. Yeah.
543
00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:32,000
I often wondered,
did you meet him there, or buy him?
544
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,200
It's amazing what you can get
in that middle aisle.
545
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:35,840
Was he two for one
with a foot spa?
546
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:38,200
"Was he two for one
with a foot spa?"
547
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:40,960
Like you were such a catch.
548
00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:42,640
Oh, come on.
549
00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:47,560
Malky is a BIG step down from me.
550
00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:51,880
I could have anyone
in this whole room like that.
551
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:55,080
Excuse me, everyone?
552
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:57,720
Can I just ask you a quick question?
553
00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:02,200
Is anyone in the room
taken with Cameron here?
554
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:03,840
Anyone at all?
555
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:09,320
Ooh, you're fighting them off,
Cameron.
556
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:10,680
Oh, come on.
557
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:13,960
You can't all be resistant
to his charms.
558
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:16,720
There must be at least
one of you out there.
559
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:23,000
Ahh! There's a poor soul
there for you, Cameron.
560
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:27,600
Quick word of warning -
he's fun for about a week.
561
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:29,720
But take a good look at this face,
562
00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:33,440
because from then on in,
it's work, work, work.
563
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:35,520
He worked on our wedding night.
564
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:37,120
On our honeymoon.
565
00:25:37,120 --> 00:25:40,640
Even on my romantic weekend
away in Galashiels, he...
566
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:43,560
We don't need to get into
all of that!
567
00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:48,480
Yes, I work hard to pay for that
big house that you still live in.
568
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:50,960
I contributed my fair share.
569
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:52,720
Listen up, gentlemen!
570
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:55,320
If this one takes you
back for coffee this evening,
571
00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:59,480
just bear in mind that
that is MY Nespresso machine!
572
00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:03,080
And if any of you are thinking
of going back to his for a coffee
573
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:04,920
tonight, then I'd have ten,
574
00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:08,160
because you're going to need them
to stay awake. Ah!
575
00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:10,000
A word to the wise, everyone.
576
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:13,160
Do not get involved
in a relationship of any kind
577
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:15,240
with any achiever, OK?
578
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:19,080
Because it's going to end up
like this, because they all do.
579
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:20,160
So get out!
580
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:22,080
Get out now, while the going's good.
581
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:23,880
Save yourselves!
582
00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:25,280
Run!
583
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:27,320
Run for the hills!
584
00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:33,440
Yeah, we get a lot of guys
like that.
585
00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:34,760
DOOR SLAMS
586
00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:37,640
Oh, Ellie Jelly!
587
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:38,960
Oh!
588
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:41,480
Oh, God!
Yes!
589
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:45,320
NOISY LOVEMAKING
590
00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:51,720
FOLK MUSIC PLAYS
591
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:53,040
HE SNORES
592
00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:57,640
So that's the outreach posters
gone to print.
593
00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:00,240
Erm...You were happy.
You signed off.
594
00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:01,840
I heard you say you were happy.
595
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:03,520
What's the problem?
596
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:05,520
We can't use the slogan.
597
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:07,200
What, "your shield and sword"?
598
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:08,840
Why? Copyright?
599
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:11,360
Yeah. Yeah, kind of.
600
00:27:11,360 --> 00:27:12,680
It's been used before.
601
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:13,920
By?
602
00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:15,920
The Stasi.
603
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:19,440
The East German secret police?!
604
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:24,040
The murderous wing
of a despotic communist regime?!
605
00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:25,800
I thought we could maybe spin it.
606
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:29,280
You know, the Stasi were good at
what they did. Strong values.
607
00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:32,560
How much of a hit to pulp them?
608
00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:34,200
90 grand.
609
00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:38,200
And do we save more than 90 grand
if we pull the whole campaign?
610
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:39,840
But we've still spent the 90.
611
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:43,600
Yes, but by not spending
more than the 90, we make a saving.
612
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:45,680
Do it! Pull it!
613
00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:51,080
Ah, Katriona!
614
00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:54,240
No flowers?
Not off to see Una this evening?
615
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:55,920
No, she's getting discharged today.
616
00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:57,560
I'll be working late.
617
00:27:57,560 --> 00:28:00,440
I'm married to my work,
and Una is my mistress.
618
00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:04,160
Justice. Justice is my mistress.
619
00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:10,880
Chief, the number you gave me is
calling you back on your desk phone.
620
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:19,080
Hello. Yes, I'd be very interested
in purchasing a conservatory
621
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:20,720
for my property.
622
00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:23,240
I wonder, could I deal directly
623
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:26,320
with the Lothian and Borders
area manager?
624
00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:29,360
That's her.
625
00:28:29,360 --> 00:28:31,000
Angela!
626
00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:37,800
Uh-huh
627
00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:38,840
Uh-huh
45727
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