Original subtitles

- Wait me here. - Yes sir. Be careful, I fear for you.

I rode three days to get the virgin promised to Ali Amman.

Attentive to the mother of the virgin, and a terrible witch.

Many knights died in the attempt to approach the girl.

- I'm going, I'll take the virgin and come back. - ln what sense?

- in a good way. - May Allah protect you.

What a fatal destiny separates us?

Because I can not be yours, my beautiful lord?

Better to die than to marry to you, ugly tyrant!

Giorgiafat!

- Candiza! - Giorgiafat!

- Your mother where is she? - Do not worry, sleep.

I fear nothing, I have traveled miles to come to you ...

.. I faced dangers, strikes, black out, wild eagles ...

..my love ! - Giorgiafat, you're a demon!

- It's not me, and the scimitar. - Come on, let's make love.

- Why do you call yourself that? - My love...

- Good! - Mom, forgive us. - Shut up !

What a disgrace ! Lira of Ali Amman falls on me.

Madam, to '' repair '' I'm ready to marry your daughter.

Ali Amman will make my head cut off. But you two will pay for it.

You did not have to make me this infamy. I transform you into salt statues.

- No. - No! - You'll be damned and you will reach the gardens of Allah ...

.. only in a thousand years. - What day is today ?

Your souls will wander for centuries and they will reincarnate!

Here we go. Your mother has menopause, he does not know what he says.

Stop! In a thousand years, in one night full moon, at midnight ...

... your reincarnated souls they will meet here and they will unite.

Only then the spell will be melted.

Always that the soul reincarnated of Candiza is pure!

How you were, unhappy. Pure and virgin!

Until midnight of that full moon night.

- Otherwise ... - He realizes what bullshit are you saying?

MUSlCA FROM TELEVISION

GEMlTl

> Come on, Candida ... > No, Giorgio.

- Come on... - No.

- Please, I can not resist. - I have not resisted it for 6 years!

- I'm scared, and the first time. - We must have courage.

Come on, Candida, courage.

Courage, Candida.

- Courage ! - Well?

'' Courage! '', Sandokan said diving from the highest tree ...

..and striking in full the submarine ...

..causing serious damage to external and internal structures.

- Sandokan ... - Good! Are we already at this point?

The '' mechanism '' e I had to get loose. Be modern!

- We were not doing anything. - Shut up !

I am surprised, accountant.

Modern? I am capable of it to make a Swedish mother blush.

Please, dear, come, follow me.

Do you want to make love? Tell it! Not you need these subterfuges.

Wow the new sofa! Come.

Here you are more comfortable.

Here and better, no? A big bed and spacious, the bathroom nearby.

A bit of diffused light.

A little bit of music.

- Do they need clean towels? - Do not bother.

Accountant, spend the night here.

I can not, I have to leave, they have me transferred to a bank in Rome.

- Then hurry up! - You make yourself what are you saying?

- Do not worry, you'll think about it. - I will do it ! - Good boy ! What a male!

I leave you.

Your mother is right, it's you who ...

But if you become a mother girl like me, I'm not guilty!

Even that scoundrel of your father he had promised to marry me! You do it.

For twenty years he has persecuted me with the story of the mother girl.

''Men are all the same... if you do, they do not marry you anymore ... ''

- I'll marry you as soon as I find a home. - Papa also told him to mom.

Now I'll show you what your father told you!

- What were we saying? - What you have to do to go to Rome. - Yes, I'm going, bye.

I'll let you know as soon as I arrive. Hello.

Come in. Stay down. You do not move!

Hurry up !

- Everything inside. - What balls' ste robberies ! Is it like that also in Milan?

We spent a lot of time in Milan on the ground, but there was the carpet!

- Hurry up. - Yes. - How's the house?

I did not find anything. There are only apartments for office use.

They invented the fair canon not to marry people.

I found him an apartment with three rooms, kitchen and two bathrooms.

We live there, my wife, two sons and my mother-in-law.

Shut up ! I killed the cashier of the Monte dei Paschi.

Have you heard ? They killed Righetti, the cashier of Monte dei Paschi.

Poor thing! We were at school together. I loved him.

- What a disgrace ! - He lived for rent ? - Yes, on the lungotevere.

- Poor thing. Leave his wife and three children. - And does the house leave her?

Yes. Is it free? How many rooms ?

- Really ? - Director, sign here, please?

Mister President, I told her about the BOTs.

They could be a good deal, I recommend it.

But if he wanted to pass here in our offices, it would ...

No, I was talking to myself. Tell me: the apartment?

Dr. Allegri, it's about an attic and superattico.

Living room, dining room, six bedrooms, three bathrooms ...

..a Piazza di Spagna.

We rent it for 300,000 lire a month to a trusted person.

- 300,000? - Do you think it too much? Do not you care? Patience!

No ! I'll take it ! For references, I work in the bank, so ...

So there's no problem, the apartment is his.

For the definition of the contract how am I staying?

Stay shit! Unfollow to believe in fairy tales, pirla!

- I'm a moron. - I agree !

Giorgio, do not take it! For I can host you a few days.

- So save. - There's Gaetano, my dog ​​...

.. I do not want to leave him alone. - We find a corner for him!

In a corner they do not enter not even the legs. Bring the 47!

Yes, eat, eat! Look what you've done!

You must understand that this is not your house, and a guesthouse!

I'm working all day and a looking for a house and you repay me like this?

When I got you you weighed a pound and a half ...

..and now you're worse of the Trans-Siberian! '' Pirla ''!

If the mistress sees this mess, sends us away kicked in the ass!

KNOCKING AT THE DOOR

- Who is it ? > It's me, accountant, can I enter?

I'm not presentable.

Excuse the mess, we have had an animated discussion.

Look what he has done his dog !

Gaetano is a bit lively but it is very sweet.

Very sweet ! He bitten me!

That's enough ! Tomorrow I pay the rent and leave the room free.

I hold the deposit to pay damages.

This is a pension, not a kennel! Clear?

Did you understand ? Now what should I do to you?

I should get my hands on it!

You finished doing the slacker! I will find you a serious job.

Other than the barman!

This is the dining room that from on S. Salvatore square in Lauro.

Here there is American cuisine with the most modern equipment.

Here are the toilets.

A last type bathroom with very precious majolica.

The heating is autonomous. She likes ?

The apartment is beautiful ...

.. maybe and a bit 'too demanding.

Maybe yes.

- Will not it be a little wet? - No ! They are old, solid houses ...

..well made, with the walls of tufa and the Carrara marble floors.

Walls like these no longer make it.

- Enjoy your meal. - Thank you.

- Some retouching needs to be done. - Yes, those keys are bad for them.

- Gia. - How much ?

- Little. It's nothing for her. - I work at the bank.

- A banker ... - Banking! - There is not much difference.

For an apartment like this Fewer than 600,000 lire a month.

- Well ... - There are also 15 million for furniture.

So I have to talk to him, We live together.

Did you hear, Gaetano? What do you think about it ?

PETO

Disagrees.

Three by seven ...

... equal twenty one. I was right !

- Accountant ! Asshole! - As he said ?

Asshole! They are Panzironi Emilio. Give me a checkbook.

Director, there is a gentleman who wants a checkbook ...

..and he gave me an asshole. Also for our credit institute ...

Take a look at the position of this peasant.

Panzironi ... Emilio.

Then... 2 billion, 893 million, 450,000 ...

Give him the checkbook, asshole!

Good morning thank you.

- Are you looking for a house? - Yes. - I have what you need for her.

A large, beautiful villa a little outside Rome.

Call this number. It's a deal.

- Merry, how's the dollar? - Fine thanks.

Did he say?

- lmmobilcasa, ready? - Telephone for that villa.

- On the Appia Antica? - Yes. Is it very expensive?

No, it's a fabulous opportunity! Fully furnished ...

.. on two floors, with indoor pool. 250,000 lire a month without deposit.

I have no time to lose. The usual fool!

- I was talking about me. - I did not doubt it.

They all come to you!

- They offered me a villa with swimming pool. - Really ?

I understand, and another joke.

- Giorgio, where are you sleeping? - ln the car.

- Yet ? - To cut ! The phone it costs. - He called him. - All right.

Love, hurry up. Find a home, a hut, but hurry up!

- We must get married soon. - You love me ? - Yes.

- I want to be with you. - Me too, but there are no houses.

- I had thought of a prefabricated semi-removable. - What?

- A trailer. - My mother does not come.

Your mother must necessarily come to live with us?

- I can not come without her. - We'll talk about it, I've finished the tokens.

- Call back soon. - Yes, bye. - Hello.

Gaetano! Be good, come here!

Bravo, Gaetano, listen to what you have to do.

Go by car ...

Who was ?

You know I do not want to that you give confidence to strangers.

Here we go. Calm, do not pull!

Come on ! Stop!

Wait up. Damn misery!

Sometimes you have such urban ways I would break your face.

You look like a beast. Not there, I drive!

I spoke with Candida. He's fine, he greets you.

His mother insists in wanting come and live with us.

(the dog speaks) '' What balls! ''

- You talked ? - '' l dogs do not speak. ''

In fact! I wanted to say well!

What do you have today? Keep calm, Gaetano.

Go behind. Do you want to drive?

You do not have the pink sheet, can not be done.

Do you want to sit here? Comfortable.

No, I have to go left.

Stop it, I have to go left.

Stop that !

What are you doing, you imbecile?

I wanted to turn left, Gaetano he put the arrow on the right ...

- You drive like a dog! - I can not blame her.

Gaetano! Gaetano!

Gaetano! Come here. Where are you going ? Be good, come back.

Gaetano!

Wait up.

Why did you get on the bus? Where do you want to go ?

- That dog and his? - No.

He can not stay here, he has to get off.

Let him go down!

Come down, do not be a fool. I left the car in the street.

If they still scold me, I'll break your face !

Who do you think you are ? Think can you do anything you want?

Put your head in place. Come down, do not be a fool.

If you keep that, tear off your pedigree!

- It's sure that dog is not it? - It's mathematical!

I come down too. Gaetano! Gaetano!

Gaetanino!

It is not our home, come back!

Gaetano!

Excuse me, the dog went down from the bus and entered here.

- I'm Battistini dell'lmmobilcasa. - Pleasure.

- Is Mr. Giorgio Allegri? - Yes. - I was waiting for her.

- Waited for me? - Yes, she likes ? - What ?

The Villa ! It is not you, Mr. Merry who called me yesterday?

For the villa from 250,000 lire a month?

It's this one !

- I gave him an appointment for today at 16.00? - Yes.

ln fact!

I have little time, but I would like to show you the winter garden and the swimming pool.

- On that side we go to the cellar. - Going through the pool?

The pool was built later. It is air-conditioned ...

..to keep it right plants and water temperature.

- How much does it cost? - It's all included in the price.

- In 250,000 lire? - Yes. - Is there something under it?

- Yes. - I have to leave 300 million deposit?

No, this is not it. I'll tell you right away ...

.. worse: there are ghosts!

- the ghosts? - It makes you laugh, but there are.

- Do you believe in ghosts? - I'm looking for a home for months, I live in the car with the dog.

It's uncomfortable, there's no gas! I'll come to live here even with ghosts!

Well. We look for the person that manages to exorcise the villa.

If it succeeds, so much the better! Here are the keys.

- The contract? - There's no hurry. - I want to rent villa and ghosts.

I wanted to clarify that the villa is furnished and everything works well.

- Here is the signed contract. - The garden deals with ...

..Erpidio Tommassini, a good person.

Naturally it is understood in the rental price. Good morning.

See you later.

Ghosts!

Fanta ...

Sorry !

ULULATED IN THE DISTANCE

Gaetano!

Gaetanino!

Nino!

howl

Gaetano! I signed, I rented it.

Gaetanino! ULULATl

Where are you ?

You do not know the house, it could be dangerous.

Gaetano!

THE DOOR Sl CHlUDE

Gaetano, where are you? howl

You are there !

Come away. Look at that place dirty and shabby!

They told me that they are there the ghosts. I'm not scared ...

.. Now I'm going to poop. Hello.

NOISE LNDlSTlNT

Is there anyone ?

What's this noise ? I know him.

A person who drinks? Who drinks in my house?

Ahh! An eagle !

- Good evening. - Good evening.

- Speaks ? - Sure !

They told me about her, but I could hardly believe it.

I'm the new tenant, indeed, a roommate.

The house is so big that we could live both without disturbing us.

I work in the bank during the day and at night I sleep.

If she were to do something like squeaks, crunches ...

I would not bother you.

- As for the pool ... She swims ? - No. - I imagined it.

- Giorgio Allegri. - Erpidio Tommassini.

I came to prune roses and to give water to plants.

It always makes that noise when do you walk?

- Guilt of the boots. Sorry. - She is English ? - No !

I'm from Trapani, but I worked in a castle in Cornwall.

- Do you own a dog? - Yes.

Today it is very nervous, I do not know what happens to him.

You will have sniffed the damned soul of the Saracen.

- The Saraceno? - They told her that the house ...

- It's full of ghosts. - But no ! - In fact, they are all bales!

There is only one ghost. It is not bad.

It never bothered me, just know how to take it.

NOISE LNDlSTlNT Now I slit his face.

No, please, animals are like plants, just know how to treat them.

Let me think about it. Excuse me.

Ghosts, Saracen ... All bales!

SQUlLLl Dl TELEPHONE

Ready? Accountant !

How do you say? Even a villa?

I understood. Yes, I realize.

I do not know, we'll see. The Candida pass.

And he. from here I do not move.

I do not want to end up in Rome the zulu! You do as you wish.

Giorgio, my love! Did you really find a villa?

When do we leave ? I do not know.

- Mum does not want to come to Rome. - Good! Not dead!

Imagine if I go to Rome!

- Do not worry ... - Tomorrow we leave. I'm going to pack.

We leave immediately! How is the villa?

TOSSlSCE Do not smoke while I speak!

The villa is wonderful, there is a large boulevard and the swimming pool ...

..and the door opens by itself. - Automatically?

Virtually yes.

Then there are the stairs, a door, a salon with the shadow of the gardener ...

- Such as ? - Then I'll explain.

They say that they happen here strange things.

I'll explain.

Do not joke ! What's the weather like in Rome?

Here there was a downpour, but now the good weather is back.

- So there's some asshole here ... - Giorgio, what are you saying?

FRACASSO FROM THE PHONE Ready? George ?

- Did the line fall? - No, and dropped a vase.

I do not understand you, however we leave at 9.30 and arrive at 10.30.

Hello sweetheart. See you tomorrow. Then I'll explain.

- What happened ? - The ghost breaks the balls!

ghosts are like dogs, enough know how to take them. I go to the hospital.

What a nasty dog!

If it were smaller, I would try with violence.

I understand, you're ordered. Thank you.

Morning breakfast at 8.00 then tidy up the house, go shopping ...

wash my underwear ...

I wash them!

We'll cut the nails tomorrow!

Here it is. I'll reopen you tomorrow morning.

Remember to turn off the light.

It is you ?

I'm not used to sleep with people I do not know.

I do not even know if you are a man, a woman or a ...

Find another place, the house is big.

I'm not afraid of you and I will not go away.

On the contrary, Candida will arrive tomorrow and here everything will happen!

I do not want to do "things" while you are watching them!

I see you understand.

Good night.

MUSlCA FROM THE LARGE PLAN

Enough of this music! You can not take it anymore!

I understand, there is not enough education for cohabitation ...

.. hence from this moment command only me!

Done !

Now you understand with whom you are dealing.

Are you kicking my ass?

All right, you're stronger.

School of Cremona?

Do you want to play? It sounds. Music is a fact of culture!

Did you end up messing up?

You've put everything back in order.

Also of the?

You do not make jokes!

Even here and all right. They are casinos but ordered.

We'll deal with you later!

My children and mine are here mother-in-law who, fortunately, is a widow.

Here we sleep my wife and I My brother-in-law is with his family.

- Take a seat. - It's OK for me. We'll be four.

lo, the dog, my wife and my mother-in-law.

If you have a villa so beautiful and big why would you give it to me?

It's too beautiful, big and luxurious ...

..we are not used to, we feel uncomfortable.

There are three bathrooms above and two below.

Kill, that '' tranvata ''!

- Did you see the referee? - That has ?

I take a drink.

Here ... What are you doing ?

Hey! What are you doing ?

- I fell asleep. - Let's drink on it.

We agree, I'm going to you and you come here.

No, no!

- The TV! - That has ?

It is too violent. The dog gets angry, has a temper!

That of the plaid was a good one idea, I was starting to have dolores.

I did not understand you, you came home at night to propose the exchange ...

..and then nothing is done. Do you want to explain to me?

- Be quiet ! - He's right, disturbances.

Excuse me, she did three months ago a robbery in Milan in via Brera?

- Is the Allegri accountant? - Yes. How are you?

- Well. - Work? - You pull forward.

- Are you still long? - No, 10 or 15 minutes.

My girlfriend is coming and I should go and get it at the airport.

- Do you mind letting me go? - Go. - Thank you.

- Thanks a lot. See you later. - Be well.

- Whatever you need, you steal it! - Agree.

Careful, it's burning!

Track!

FRACASSO

Allegri for the accountant sends me lead you to the villa. Benarrivate.

- Thank you. - Giorgio has robbed the bank where you work?

THE ENG SL S SWITCHES

It no longer goes, yet and everything in order. Sara is a valvolina!

What are they doing on that car?

I have to find a way to go back home.

- Thanks for the ride. - You are welcome. - See you later.

- Mom, and a paradise! - Yes, but not for banking.

- There's something underneath. - No, it was an opportunity.

Candida!

- Hello, Candida. - George !

George !

Hello.

Thanks for the roses and the car, but I thought you were coming for me.

I came, but I found the fog and I had to go back by motorboat.

Good morning. Do I carry suitcases?

- Gaetano! - Even the maid! You made money.

It is a tenor of 5 million a month, there is something shady underneath.

- Finira in prison. - It's a stroke of luck.

Yes !

- Who is she ? - Lucia, the new one waitress. Do not you recognize me?

- Who took it? - She, this morning.

- How long? - 350,000 lire more contributions. Do not you remember?

I would like to know who pays these expenses.

- Why do you have a lot of money in your pocket? - If I have to take a taxi ...

- It's definitely dirty money! - Where do so much money come from?

I made a mortgage.

- On what ? - On the dog.

Come, I'll show you the house.

- Who is it ? - Erpidius, the gardener. - Even the gardener?

- Of course, there's a garden! - He has a killer face.

Excuse me if I dare, accountant ...

..but how does he live in this luxury ? Does not work in the bank?

It's a well-paid job because ~ full of responsibility and dangers.

- Bello, Gaetano. - Sorry, I can not stand dogs.

- I'm going to my room. - It does so, but it's not bad. - No !

- Do we do it next Sunday? - What ? - The wedding!

(The dog speaks in Neapolitan): '' It is better to wait for the full moon. ''

- What does the full moon have to do with it? - I did not speak.

- Was it Gaetano? - Gaetano?

Giorgio, did you think about it?

- No, I would marry you right away. - I like you like that !

I can not wait until Sunday, you could not ...

You should not.

I would have organized, if you agree ... Ahh!

Deficient! You got me for a porchetta? Rude !

- Sooner or later I slit your face! - A gentleman asks for her.

- Who will be ? - Go look. - Later I'll explain my plan.

Deficient!

Good morning. I brought them back the car. It looks new!

- Who authorized it to fix the car? - She !

- How much ? - We had agreed on 1,200,000 lire.

- Can I pay in installments? - Do you want to joke? He has already paid.

Tenga. See you later.

I do not know how to thank you for the car.

I do not know how to repay you.

If you could give me a hand also with Candida ...

..magari sending the old woman out of the balls ...

..with an excuse ... drown it?

- Candida, I'm going to take a dip in the swimming pool. - I come too.

I see you agree! can also help me with Candida?

It's too '' on his ''.

You understand everything. If you want to watch while we do ...

I did worse.

I go to the swimming pool.

You have nothing better to do what to go to the pool?

- Do not insist, there are only a few days. - I can not handle it anymore.

- Let's go upstairs. - And your mother ?

Think about it.

I wait for you.

Of course, I'll take care of it!

Giorgio, what's happening to you?

- Because you threw me from the window ? - What are you saying ?

What do you do with that ax?

I wanted to eliminate ... When and your mother's birthday?

I do not understand you. I go to the swimming pool, see you later.

- Is tea ready? - Yes. - Leave it, I'll serve it.

- No, I'll serve him. - No me. - Are you joking? I serve him.

I bring it, a good landlord he must know how to arrange himself.

A little bit of etiquette. You can not break my balls!

As you wish, accountant.

'' Erotichin '' for Candida, so it excites a bit.

'' Sonnofort '' for my mother-in-law.

I put it all, so he sleeps for a long time and do not break the boxes!

For me smooth.

- How good! Help Lucia? - I help everyone.

- This is for her. - Is there sugar? - That's okay.

This is for Candida.

And this is for me.

- Honey, you're gonna take my bathrobe, please ? - Immediately.

Thank you.

We drink tea, then I'll wait for you in the room.

- Do not insist. - In a few minutes you will insist.

- Did you sweeten it? - There's everything.

- Do not sleep? - Indeed, indeed!

I'm going to the room as agreed.

GLORGlO SBADlGLlA

- That gardener is not bad. - Thing ? - Almost almost I would do it.

Cabbage! How I'm excited!

When I arrive in the room I'm going to fuck!

What a lust!

How I'm excited! What happens to me?

Soon he comes into action my stainless bar.

- Erpidio. - Yes ? - How does the grafts do?

Always very thoroughly. SQUlLLl Dl TELEPHONE

Yes ? Who wants it ? The director of the bank?

What a warm and sensual voice!

- Can I give you some, big pig? - Mum !

- See you in an hour at the motel. - Mum ! - Who knows what a male!

Ready? Such as ? I'm Giorgio's girlfriend.

It was an interference.

Mom, call Giorgio, Mr. Albani wants it.

- I'm all a fire! - No, no trouble.

George ! Giorgino!

Poor love !

Cucciolone! He fell asleep on the sofa.

Porcellone! Come here, on the ground and more exciting!

- Tell me I'm your bitch! - Whore?

Mrs. Anastasia, Miss Candida says ...

- Excuse me, disturb? - No, this no longer serves.

Forget Miss Candida. We think of us, love!

- Where do you take me? - Come to the pleasure. Tell me I'm a whore.

- Will not it be too much? - The eros knows no boundaries. - Whore!

You are a beast, you will make me die!

- Good morning, director, disturbance? - Please, say.

- This is for her. - What is that ?

- Confetti? - Yes. - Does it confirm?

- No, I'm getting married. I would ask a few days of vacation. - Thing ?

The stock market falls, the dollar rises, there is the P2, the layoff fund ...

..inflation, internal politics and the international one ...

..and she wants to get married, go on vacation and have fun?

Tell your colleagues what he wants to do. Tell it!

On ! Tell him if he has the courage.

I want to make confirmation! Sl FEEL FROM THE SPEAKER

What does he say?

- Who leaves? - Mrs. Anastasia. - And his girlfriend.

We hope not to have forgot nothing.

- Here's the scoundrel! - Matches? Where are you going ?

Let's go back to Milan, Candida it does not deserve this teasing.

- I do not understand. - You know very well, do not pretend.

The marriage was supposed to be two Sundays ago.

Delays, unexpected events, misunderstandings. Missing clothes, publications ...

It's not my fault.

What a fake! I'll wait for you down.

If you had second thoughts, you could say it. Why so many subterfuges?

- I do not understand, tell me what happens. - You have suspended orders ...

.. of the participations and clothes.

You invented that the director it does not give you holidays.

I asked them again today. It does not care, no holidays.

- I did not cancel the publications and the clothes. - Was it the ghost?

Eh!

You also take me around!

Between us and over, you will not see me again!

I come from the typography to deliver the participations.

- Seen ? - They brought the clothes, do they still serve?

SQUlLLl Dl TELEPHONE Ready?

Good morning, director.

Thank you so much, get there. A month of vacation!

- There is Don Alvino who says ... - It is all ready...

..the publications, the flowers ...

- Tell me when you want to get married. - In a quarter of an hour.

MARCLA NUZLALE

- Because they get married So fast ? - I do not know.

- I have not had time to find a decent dress. - Shut up !

- Maybe she is pregnant. - The mother or daughter?

For me and the mother is pregnant. If you mean it with the gardener!

You, Candida Melenghi, you want the present Giorgio Allegri ...

.. as your spouse according to the ritual of Santa Romana Church? - Yes.

You, Giorgio Allegri, you want the here present Candida Melenghi ...

..like your bride according to the ritual of Santa Romana Church?

- No ? Of course ? - Do not you want to marry me?

Yes ! Yes I want !

- Hurray the bride and groom! - Best wishes !

My love what are you doing ?

- We're married now! - There are the guests.

- Do not come and cut the cake? - We cut the rope!

- Matches? - Let's go upstairs. - I recommend, treat her well!

- Delicately. - I know how, Do I have to draw a little drawing?

- Do not worry. Hello Mom. - Hello sweetheart.

- Madam, how cute they were! - Thank you.

Gaetano, come here.

Do not carry me like in American movies?

Here it is ! You did not come to the ceremony because you did not have the dress?

All bales! You agree with that!

Tell him we're married and we'll do everything else.

It was moving.

George !

Love...

- It was wonderful. - Wonderful ! - Long last !

- Now let's do another one with music. - Wake Up !

What are you saying ?

- Did I make love with her? - He is crazy.

These questions, the radio on ... The tranquilizer hurts you!

- Tranquil? - Yes yesterday when you fell down the stairs ...

I was agitated and the doctor gave you a tranquilizer. You slept 20 hours.

- What time is it now ? - 12.30. - Candida?

He watched you all night. Now and went to the pool, but come back immediately.

- I reach her. - Like the first night ...

You have a lifetime!

Call me 'mum' and let's get on with you.

It does not come to me.

But you, if you want, he can call me "accountant".

- Hello. - Hello how are you ? - Very well.

- I'm going to get dressed for lunch, I'll wait upstairs. - All right.

After lunch, let's go to the room and ... save those who can!

You need to be patient, it could have happened worse.

Worse than that! 20-day vegeto.

Have you ever seen a plaster cast like this?

They put you in this way for your own good.

ln this way I can not ...

- Do not think of anything else! - It would be now, we're married!

- He does not want ! - He who?

You know who I'm talking about.

Restart? Do you believe in ghost tales?

Come on !

We will have all of life before us.

leave me alone or the plaster breaks out.

Sorry, you are right, maybe it's better to leave you alone.

Candida ... I thought ...

We could try head-on.

Do not think about it. It's difficult for me too.

I sleep alone, and better for both of us.

Bravo, Gaetano, keep your owner company.

Good night.

Do not make that face. I know that you agree with the ghost.

If I lose patience, I take off the chalk and I'll show you!

'' Candida must remain virgin up at the first full moon night. ''

You are welcome ?

'' Candida must remain pure up at the first full moon night. ''

- The radio is off, then you spoke. - ''Sure !''

All right. Good night.

Forward.

It's all regular, the throat is fine.

It has no human vocal cords. He can not speak.

I told him already. They can talk the parrots and the Indian blackbirds ...

..but dogs do not. - He spoke.

- What did he say ? - One time he said that dogs do not speak.

Ah! Because she is plastered in this way ?

I took a dip in the pool while the water was going away.

- Does the dog speak? - Yes. - What else did he say?

That I did not have to make love with mine wife until full moon night.

- Why? - He told her the ghost. - Ghost ?

- What the double bass plays. - I understood.

Two suppositories a day.

- Are you putting them under the tail? - I'm for her. - Myself ?

Put them for 15 days and the dog will not speak again.

- Rest assured. Vada. - Thank you.

SQUlLLl Dl TELEPHONE Ready?

Moira. The elephant? I told you...

.. must stay in bed ...

'' Doctor, if it still behaves like this what should I do ?''

- Bring him here, I'll show him rabies. - Thank you. Treats.

- Anastasia! - How scary ! - Now I scare you?

- We keep the distances, give me her. - Whore!

- Pardon? - You liked the other night.

- Screanzato! - Whore!

- And ungrateful! - I'm worried about Giorgio.

For half an hour talk with the dog.

Sara was the blow on the head, the fall in the pool.

Your father was strange too, but he did not talk to the dog!

- Take him to the psychiatrist. - I would like to that took away the plaster cast.

When we were together, not it will behave more this way.

If you want to talk, do it, but do not say things "to fuck a dog".

You must learn, study, know yourself.

The dog is a quadruped and it is man's friend. Repeat.

It's a quadruped and it is man's friend.

Is it too easy for you?

So tell me who discovered America.

'' Was it Frank Sinatra? ''

You do not know ! Christopher Columbus !

What were the ships called? Nina, Pinta and ...?

- Santa ...? - '' Santa Maria Capua Vetere, the country of my father. ''

- You're an ignoramus! - Patience. - Tell me...

... because we do not have to make love until full moon night.

'' Because that night at midnight they will be a thousand years. "

- If you want, talk! - '' You and Candida you will live rich and happy. ''

Candida, he said that we will become rich.

- What are you saying ? I'm going to get the drops. - Tell her too!

Tell Candida.

Why are you so spiteful?

- How do you feel? - Very well. Look !

At home we do four jumps!

- Are you driving? - Yes.

- I know what you have in mind. - Me too !

I sent mom shopping.

- We stay alone. You're happy ? - Sure.

- Yes, Wednesday! - What are you saying ?

Maybe it's better to wait some day. Until Wednesday.

- Why on wednesday? - There is the full moon, and more romantic.

Giorgio, stop.

You can not continue to believe to this story.

dogs do not speak!

You're right, they do not speak.

Give me a kiss.

- Do you still want to wait? - If not let's start now, I own you here!

- Wait up ! - We are not for nobody. - All right.

SQUlLLl Dl TELEPHONE The phone!

Ready? They said to do not disturb. All right, wait.

- Madam, and his mother. - We are not. - One moment.

- I will be right back. - All right. - I wait for you !

- Hello, Candida? - Yes ?

They invested me. I'm at the San Giacomo hospital. Come here.

It's not a serious thing, but do it soon.

Do not worry, I'll be right away.

- Tell my husband I left. - All right.

Come, honey.

And she ? We do not want to be disturbed, out of the boxes!

The lady came out, he was in a hurry and was agitated.

- Where she went ? - You never know where some women go.

I would never have left it alone a man like her!

You drive me crazy!

From the first moment I saw her I want to touch it. I can ?

- Touch? - Touch.

Accountant !

- May I ask you something I never asked anyone? - Yes.

Does this evening cook ravioli?

I did not call you, I have not had any accidents.

It was your voice, I can not be wrong.

You do not want to know if I called you?

You look a little strange! This marriage did not do you good.

- Do you want to go to the doctor? - I know what I have to do.

- I'm going to the room. Do not disturb us until tomorrow. - Even!

> She is an earthquake! > I have the turbo.

- Accountant, let's escape together? - Yes, in Rovereto.

- We open a laundry. - You did not get bored without me!

Oh!

Candida, it's you! She came to tell me that you left ...

He asked if he could touch me and I asked her for the ravioli.

- Everything happened kindly. - I do not want to see you ever again !

- Candida, a moment! - Accountant...

.. we will flee together? - Yes. I'm going from my wife, leave me your number.

- 723374. - This is mine. - Of course, I live here.

I call you and if the master answers of your house, say you're your brother.

Explain me What's going on ?

Candida!

Candida, wait! I'll explain everything to you.

Wait up ! Stop!

Stop ! I'll explain, Candida.

- Candida, do not ruin everything! - You're the one who ruined everything.

Ahh!

- Candida! - What happened ?

See what an accident you have combined!

- What an accident! Go home with the waitress! - Candida!

I did not want to be with the maid. It was not me!

Strange things happen! You should be in the burning car.

In the burning car? You're right, Giorgio, I'm sorry.

Please take me away, I do not want to stay in that house anymore.

- Taxi! - Milan 3 immediately.

- Good morning. - Good morning. l gentlemen Allegri?

Yes. How do you know?

We have a reservation. Documents, please.

- I forgot them. - I have yours too.

- do the gentlemen stop a lot? - We would like to settle here.

Do they want a bathroom in the room? - Yes, I have a bathrobe!

- the baggage? - We left them at the beach.

- Amedeo, accompanies the gentlemen to room 310. - All right.

Sit down.

- You are welcome. You will find yourself like at your home. - Thank you.

This is our home!

Is it our home?

It is our garden! There are the mother and the gardener.

- The hotel is gone. - How could this happen ?

I do not know. I feel bad, I do not understand anything any more.

- There is a hand of '' goodbye ''. - Do not joke, call the police.

We tell that the dog speaks and the double bass plays alone!

- So what do we do? - We do not care! It does not scare us.

- We undress and make love. - No, Giorgio, I'm afraid.

I can not stay in this room. I'll go there, we'll talk later.

You really are an imbecile!

You scared Candida, so pretty and kind.

You're an idiot ! Keep your keys!

From a hotel do you find yourself at home?

For some time tell strange things.

- Have you tried to make a cure? - Yes, the vet gave it to me.

- The vet? - Yes, he gave it to me because the dog talks.

I do not understand: the dog speaks, the hotel disappears, the pool is emptied ...

..the ghost... - I'm afraid of it tonight, I disguise myself!

KNOCKING AT THE DOOR - Who is it ? > There is a plumber.

Let him in.

- Good evening, I'm the stagnaro. - Is delayed.

I '' infrociato '' with the car. Where is the '' cesso ''?

It is of the. I'll take you.

- It should change the seal of the shower. - The shelter!

- Do it with comfortable. - Yes.

(sings) '' The lungotevere sleeps while the river is walking. ''

'' Lonely my heart, disillusioned of love, wants to dream in the shadow! ''

'' A wetsuit, a balcony up there ... ''

'' ..oh Roman guitar ... ''

'' ..accompagnami you. ''

Thank you.

Signo, I'm done. He owes me 20 '' bags ''.

- Are you already away? - Yes I have finished.

Comes to keep me company or afraid to do my husband wrong?

What do you care about your husband! I'll show you the green mice!

- How cool you are! - You look like a piece of ice.

I've never felt such cold.

- Yet the fire is lit. - Wait, I'll take the blankets.

I'm cold. Giorgio, what's up?

- We could not cheat it! - Who ? - The ghost.

Brrr! How cold!

Because he arrived suddenly the service of the inspectorate?

- I do not know. - I'll take it.

- Candida! - Hello. - What a nice surprise !

I came to greet you. Mom is waiting for me outside.

- Let's go to Milan. - Why?

You know ! That house and haunted, we can not continue like this.

Let's take some time to reflect.

Today is Wednesday, tonight there will be a full moon.

I do not believe it, and a curse. Think about it and convince yourself too.

- That made us life impossible ! - Merry, come here.

Sorry, I'll be right back, I recommend, do not go away.

- I was greeting my wife. - Prepare to greet us too.

- Why? - We owe you this inspection!

It is even bothered the general director. There he is.

- Who and Allegri? - He !

She ? Good boy ! I am delighted.

Maybe we'll have trouble, but she ends up in jail!

- Why? What have I done ? - Since you and here ...

.. we have eight robberies right away.

It is obvious that there is a baseman.

He lives them in a nabob villa ...

..and leads a life as a billionaire. How does ? - Justified!

- It's a bit difficult... - Stop! This is a robbery !

My daughter can not be seen! We risk losing the plane!

Stay here, do not move.

Soon, call the police! There is a robbery. My daughter and them!

Do not worry, honey, soon it will all be over.

Forgive me ! I'm not leaving anymore.

> Fermo.

Police !

The police arrive!

Stand still or kill him! Let us pass.

- Come on, that man and a monster. - George !

- Very good. How did you do ? - What happened ? I'm cold.

Yes ! When the gun pointed at you I became green with rage.

- You are great ! - I ask her I forgive for what I told you.

- Allow me to shake your hand. - Only against five!

- Did I do everything myself? - Yes. - I apologize ...

.. also on behalf of the institute. Lighthouse so that she is rewarded.

- We have to celebrate! - Where is it ? The bar ? - No, to their villa!

This is the right opportunity for inaugurate it. We're here tonight.

- We have a commitment tonight. - We can not.

All right. Tonight we celebrate!

Yes, let's celebrate!

- Only 250,000 lire a month? - A stroke of luck.

- Is television good? - Yes, all the channels.

- Is the ghost story true? - Well, they're not really ghosts ...

.. strange things happen. - The dog talking?

The dog is intelligent but does not speak, and an invention by Giorgio.

We have one fantastic too.

When I come home in the evening, recognize the noise of my car.

(the dog speaks): '' I have to talk to you, hurry up. ''

- What do you want ? - ''Be quiet !''

I can not stand you anymore, what do you have to tell me this important?

'' Saraceno said that between 15 minutes and midnight ... ''

'' ... and you have to send everyone away. '' - This is my home !

- I can not send them away. - '' Then he will take care of it! ''

You and your Saracen friend you broke my balls!

Do not overdo it or it's yours! See what I did in the bank?

- '' You must not joke with the Saracen. '' - We'll see.

Here is Mr. Allegri. A round of applause for our hero!

Good boy !

A toast for our hero!

Dear Allegri, allow me to spend a word ...

VERY NOISY PETO

Expensive ! You never did nothing like that.

- My reputation is ruined. - It 'does not matter.

- Leave us alone. - Director, I am dismayed.

Nothing happened. I heard him sneeze.

An elephant can do up to 50 pounds of shit a day.

- He's crazy! - He never has used this language.

- What do you say ? - It's my fault if i elephants shit so much? - Stop that.

Mr. Director, I am dismayed!

My son-in-law had never come down a lot of vulgarity.

- Whore, let's go make love. - Erpidio! With you towards pleasure.

- What have I done ? - You say vulgarity.

- What I said ? - There is a limit to everything. That's enough !

- He's right, you've exaggerated. - Women think with the uterus.

- Even this old troione! - Do not talk to my wife like that!

- Who gave you the money for the TV? - Let's go away !

Calm! There is a surprise. We play a game.

The whores on one side and the fags on the other.

- I'm not a fagot! - This is not the game of lies.

While I count up to thirty you swap your underwear.

One two three four five...

- I'm leaving ! - Greetings !

Why do you leave? Stay, nothing happened!

THE DOG RLNGHLA Gaetano, leave me!

Twenty-nine, thirty, thirty-one!

Where are you ?

- Where are the guests? - They left. - My wife ?

Gaetano dragged her into the cellar.

- Gaetano! Leave me ! - Candida, where are you?

I'm here. Gaetano is pulling me.

- What do you do here ? - Gaetano took me there.

Why did you say those strange things?

- I do not know. What I said ? - Volgarita. You acted badly.

Sorry love.

- Make love. - Let's go upstairs ? - Not here.

Let's go away !

Help !

Since you messed up? Now let us out of here.

- What's this? - Let's see.

- What place is it ? - I do not know. - Right under our house.

- How strange, it seems to me to have been there already. - When ?

I do not know, maybe I dreamed it.

Or maybe in another life. Do you believe in metempsychosis?

- Is it a kind of bronchitis? - No.

It is the reincarnation of souls.

- Let's go upstairs. - Look !

They are two statues. Are fine ? How much will they be worth?

Can not you find us similar?

I go upstairs. Are you staying here?

- Here we go ! - Yes.

- Come, Giorgio, let's make love. - Here? - Yes.

Today is Wednesday, there is a full moon. As you wanted.

It is midnight. As always called Gaetano, and our night.

Love...

- Gaetano is watching us. - Who cares, and great!

- But I can not do it. - Gaetano, please!

A little discretion!

- Thanks, Omar, without you there is not we would have done it. - Without them !

Let's hurry, I want to take a shower, I'm full of salt.

It was beautiful, finally!

I thought I saw us that we were flying on two white horses.

- You needed to make love! - Yes.

Gaetano had said so that we would become rich!

Give me a kiss.

'' They lived rich, happy and happy. ''

'' And they did not give me not even a penny, 'sti fetenti!' '