Original subtitles

I'll never forget Gipsy's Acre, as I saw it that very first time.

The great sweep of the landscape down to the sea, in the distance,

and...

Why, Ellie!

Ellie, darling.

Ellie, darling?

Ellie!

"I'll never forget the first time I saw Gipsy's Acre."

What?

That's what you were saying.

Oh, yes.

You sure you don't mind me telling you about it?

Not in the least.

It's a long story.

Why not come with me to the south of France, or Italy?

Nothing I'd like better, if it's that long.

I don't really know where to begin.

Anything wrong with the beginning?

No! Not that!

Wherever you like, then.

"Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man." How about that?

Yes.

Why not?

It may sound corny,

but I think I must have been born with a love of beautiful things.

I always thought I got it from my father.

Paintings, for instance.

I could look at some of them for hours at a time.

They gave me a strange excitement,

shiver along the spine.

Lot 50. A small, early, Renoir landscape.

Anyone started? Five thousand guineas offered, thank you.

Five hundred. Six thousand.

Five hundred. Seven thousand.

Five hundred. Eight thousand.

Five hundred. Nine thousand.

Five hundred. Ten thousand. Ten thousand guineas.

Eleven thousand.

Twelve thousand.

Twelve? Thirteen thousand.

Fourteen thousand.

Fourteen thousand guineas. Fifteen thousand.

Bids at the back now.

Fifteen thousand guineas.

Fifteen thousand guineas. Sixteen thousand.

It's against you at the back now.

Sixteen thousand guineas.

Sixteen thousand guineas. Any more?

Sixteen thousand guineas.

Hazlitt Gallery.

Bad luck.

One mustn't complain.

- May I? - Thank you.

Where to now, madam?

- Er... back to Claridge's, Rogers. - Certainly, madam.

Spent the morning at Christie's.

Nearly had a Renoir knocked down to me at fifteen thousand quid.

One of these days you'll get landed with something. Then what'll you do?

Don't you realise, Mum,

between my bid and the next,

I owned that picture.

Does your boss know where that car is now?

I can always adjust the odd half-hour in the books.

One of these days, you'll get fired.

- You don't know me, Mum. - Never pretended to.

Because you never wanted me to.

Never liked being watched, even as a little boy.

Do you remember that text over your bed?

Often wondered what you did with it.

Did you, now?

Mickey, do you have to drift from job to job?

Look, I've been doing this for six months now.

Anyway, I like to get around.

You won't for much longer if you keep using the firm's car for yourself.

Yes, I will. I'm a good driver. The clients like me.

As a matter of fact, they're sending me out to the Continent again next week.

Picking up some Greek tycoon in Milan,

driving him down to look over his villa.

Dio mio! The fellow's gone mad!

Who?

Santonix, of course. My genius of an architect.

What does the lunatic think he's building? An empire?!

You know how much he's gone up again, Alice?

Another hundred million.

Pounds?

- No, Italian lire. - Oh.

Santonix!

Welcome to San Pier.

Mon dieu, you must be completely off your rocker.

You're ruining me totally!

How are you?

We must go through these in detail, urgentissimo!

Alice.

Come on, we're in a hurry!

That's normal. Whereas Alice is exceptional.

I ask you, what the hell is the point of estimates

if you don't keep to them?

And what are estimates for if not to be exceeded?

These things are... are... are relative.

Not to me, they're not.

Come and see what I've done.

Apart from spending my money?

I certainly will!

Oh, I have to be aboard my yacht off Sardinia at 3:35.

Next time, huh? On the way back.

And I will send you a cheque.

The house is marvellous.

Would you like some wine?

Oh, thank you very much, sir.

What a fabulous place.

Do you like it?

Like it? Bloody marvellous!

Are you finished now?

Well, I gotta stop off in Rome, pick up an American couple.

They're doing the grand European tour.

Five days flat.

I see.

Would you like to see some of my works and ideas?

- Can I? - Oh yes, certainly.

You see, I was preparing for two months for Mr Constantine's visit

and all he gave me was twenty minutes.

- Well, pleasure. Come on, huh? - Thank you.

Oh, God! The creation of any work of art is...

thirty per cent joy, and seventy per cent despair.

And if you're lucky, something's left behind,

something is passed on.

You're a very good listener, young friend.

I found a place a little while ago,

where I could imagine a house growing.

Oh, I love "growing". Where's that?

South of England. Few miles back from the sea.

I'd driven a couple of antique dealers down to a place called Market Chadwell.

And I drove outside the town to have my sandwiches.

It was an ugly old Victorian

Gothic house up there.

Quite the wrong place.

Half burnt-down.

But when you walked on a bit further,

round the corner,

there it was.

You could see for miles all around.

Far below, the sea.

And, standing there, it was as if I could see it.

My house.

The house I'd always dreamed about.

in a place I'd always imagined it.

Anyway, that was weeks ago.

When is the auction?

Sometime next month.

Not that it's any use to me.

If the wish can be willed, then perhaps the means will follow.

That sounds like a quotation.

It is. Santonix, the fourth of August.

Nine-thirty pm.

Christ, I'll have to drive half the night!

It's unusual to find a young man like yourself.

A hired driver?

Well, to be honest, that's more or less what I was thinking.

They say I get it from my father.

An architect?

Ha! He'd have liked the chance.

There, Michael, let's draw a key in the door, shall we?

Then we can be alone.

If only you'd study, David. Get qualified.

Qualifications! What do they mean?

The badge of mediocrity!

David, you know as well as I do that unless...

Oh for God's sake, shut up!

I don't think anyone understood him.

Especially Mum.

Gipsy's Acre...

- Do you have any photograph? - No.

Send me some.

For you, I could build a house even more than Mr Constantine.

Hmm!

If I ever have the money.

And if I have the time left.

Oh, it'll be a long wait, all right, if that's what you mean.

No, I was thinking myself. You see, er...

I can't count on more than another three or four years.

It has something to do with the wrong number of corpuscles of the right colour,

or the other way round, I can never remember that.

Well, anyway...

it was nice to have met you.

And you.

Send me some photographs, anyway.

It might be fun to play around with them.

Okay.

It may have been culture to you, honey,

but it was plain crap to me!

For Christ's sake, last week in England,

do you know what those seats at Stratford-on-Avon cost?!

Twenty-five dollars!

Just to hear a mean-lookin' fairy in a jock strap

explaining how he couldn't get around to making a simple basic decision!

Well, I guess we don't need Michael

until it's time to pick us up for the opera.

No, I guess not.

Say kid, do you know the red light district around here?

The dames in the windows?

Yes, sir.

Well, stick around after the opera tonight.

I just might treat you to one.

See if we can, er... work off some of this culture, huh?

Er... meanwhile, like we were saying, your time's your own.

Thank you. Thought I might spend it at the Rijksmuseum,

looking at the Rembrandts.

Jesus Christ!

He painted him too, sir.

Several times.

Excuse me.

Those faces.

So strong.

So sure of their own respectability.

They seem to be quietly sizing me up,

and finding me wanting.

What are you talking about?

If we're having to get back all the way from London...

The car's just over there, sir.

Where the hell have you been all evening?

You were supposed to pick us up at the hotel.

Well I'm sorry, sir, but I got held up,

just missed you, so I came on here.

We waited around for you until eight-thirty!

We were late for the goddamn opera!

That must have upset you awfully, sir.

You go ahead, honey. I'll take care of this.

What the hell were you doing, godamnit?!

I said I was sorry, sir.

You gonna stick around afterwards and, er...

take me where I said, huh?

I don't think so, sir.

Why not?

Well I've looked up my duties very carefully, and...

pimping is not included.

Jason!

You wait. You just wait!

Yes, sir.

Yeah, baby.

I didn't have to wait long.

My firm said I seemed to have forgotten

that the customer is always right.

Ten days later,

I was back home again.

Oh, it's you.

What have you come for?

Do I have to have a reason to visit my old mum?

Ooh, got a cup of tea, love?

Got another job yet?

Yes.

Filling station. Part time.

You'll go far, won't you?

I'm all right. I've got plans.

Plans! What plans?

If the wish can be willed, then perhaps the means will follow.

Something's happened.

What do you mean?

You're excited.

Who's got hold of you, Mickey?

Got hold of me? Oh, forget the tea, Mum!

The next day, I went down to Gipsy's Acre again,

with my camera.

That was the first time I saw Ellie.

Very first time.

Oh!

Don't mind me!

Oh, I didn't see you.

I saw you. You got in my picture.

I didn't spoil it for you, did I?

You made it!

You must think I'm raving mad or something.

I mean, I don't usually dance all by myself.

I got a little carried away, I guess.

Such a beautiful spot!

Like nowhere else.

- Do you live around here? - No. Wish I did.

- American, aren't you? - How did you guess?

Well, what made you come up here?

You can't see from the road.

I drove down to visit an antique shop in Market Chadwell.

Oh yes, I know it.

And I'd heard it was beautiful up here, so I came.

I'm glad I did.

I mean, it really is very beautiful.

You didn't really take any of me, did you?

Ah, that'd be telling.

Oh God, my hair!

No, I was...

I was just shooting a few angles to send to an architect friend.

Oh, are you gonna build here?

One day.

Maybe.

I'm only a rental car driver. Bit more to your right.

And there's not much bread in that.

Whoa!

Perfect!

Why do you want me in it, anyway?

Give Santonix some idea of the scale.

- Oh. The Santonix? - Yes.

- He's very famous. - Oh, he's a genius.

But isn't he...

well, isn't he a little expensive?

It's just an idle dream.

Don't laugh, I'm the idle dreamer.

Why should I?

You know, I lie awake sometimes, thinking exactly what I'd do.

The house would rise up, just about where you are now,

looking clear down to the sea.

And a drive, curving in like this from the road,

all the way to the house.

Clear... clear all this lot away,

over there, plant masses and masses of rhododendrons and azaleas.

Every colour in the book.

Over here, flowering cherries.

Take your breath away on a fine day.

Oh, it's all so clear in your mind.

Yes.

Bloody silly, isn't it? When you really think about it.

- Staying over for long? - Only a few days.

- Then back to the States? - Lausanne, Switzerland.

Right now, the family's establishing...

- Oh! I'm caught. - Careful.

- There. - Okay. Oh!

Um...

My family's establishing residence there.

Tax reasons, or something.

Meanwhile, I'm taking singing at the Conservatoire.

Oh, are you good?

I guess I'll never sing at the Met.

What is it?

I've got a feeling we're being followed.

That's funny. That's what I thought when I came here.

Keep walking.

Stay there!

What are you doing here?

You were following us.

This is private land.

Trespassers will be prosecuted.

This land's for sale.

There'll be no joy in it for the buyer.

What are you talking about?

We can none of us escape from the past.

It was a very long time ago, of course.

What was?

They brought in a verdict of natural causes.

But what happened afterwards to the Townsends here...

was felt to be a judgement.

Little more than a year, and then...

only one left.

Is she with you?

Get away from this place, girl.

Go now, before the harm's done.

I'm tuned in, you see.

I can pick up the signals.

My gift is widely acknowledged in Market Chadwell.

Who are you?

My name is Townsend.

I am the one that was left.

Nutcase.

We breed 'em in England for visiting Americans.

Helps the balance of payments.

Come on.

Well...

goodbye.

I hope you get your house one day.

Do you know something? I don't even know your name.

Oh, Mike. Mike Rogers.

Mike.

And I'm Ellie. Ellie Thompson.

- Well, goodbye, Ellie. - Bye.

Ellie?

Look, couldn't we have tea together at the Crown in Market Chadwell?

It's an incredibly old pub.

Two stars in the Domesday Book.

I'd like that very much.

But I'd have to make a phone call first.

Okay.

Townsend?

I knew the old lady when I was a youngster.

Oh, it's true that people talked when the old Captain's wife died,

and the family was wiped out a little later in the fire, but, er...

she's no more a Townsend than I am.

She kids herself that the old Captain was sweet on her Ma,

and she's the result. But, er...

between you and me and the gatepost,

she's the spitting image of her real dad.

- The gamekeeper. - Hmm.

And now, she lives up there in one of Doctor Philpott's cottages,

and pops along once a fortnight to the spiritualists,

to contact her dad.

Awkward if they both came through wouldn't it?

Still, she does sometimes hit the odd nail on the head, you know?

But then, er...

I backed a winner meself last week, so what does that prove?

- Tea and toast, was it, sir? - Please.

Okay.

- There you are. - Thanks.

Who were you phoning? Your parents?

Haven't any.

Oh, I'm sorry.

That's all right.

That's more than made up for by uncles, aunts, cousins,

and, believe it or not, a stepmother.

- Like Cinderella? - Right!

Only in reverse.

They watch over me as if I were a baby or something.

If hadn't been for Greta,

I wouldn't even have been able to get out this time.

Now, who's Greta? Your stepmother?

No, that's Cora.

Greta was hired to teach me German, but...

well, she stayed on, and we sort of became best friends.

That was Greta I just called.

She's great.

She understands exactly how I feel about everything.

I don't go for cold, calculating Krauts, myself.

Oh, Greta isn't cold,

and she isn't the slightest bit calculating.

I prefer them small and elfin,

the kind that do funny little dances when they think nobody's looking.

Tea and toast, all right?

Oh, haven't they any muffins?

I've never tried one.

- Muffins is out of season, miss. - Oh.

Then we'll come back when there's an 'R' in the month.

- That's a definite order. - Yes, sir.

- Now, milk? - Mmm, yes, please.

Sugar?

Really gotta go now.

Ellie?

Did you say you were going back to London?

- That's right. - Know the road?

- Yes - Pity.

- Why? - I was going to offer

- to show you the way. - Oh!

Well, actually, I have got a terrible sense of direction.

Good. Come on, then.

I turn off here.

Goodbye, Mike.

- Oh look, if you like, I can... - No.

No, it's all right. I really can find my way from here.

Look, I don't suppose there's any chance of seeing you again?

I don't know.

That's just the trouble, I never seem to know.

I said I might call back again in two or three weeks,

at that antique place at Market Chadwell.

Yes!

Mike, let's meet at Gipsy's Acre.

I'd like that.

- On the eighth. - What time?

Three o'clock, sharp!

And afterwards we'll have muffins at the Crown

because there's an 'R' in next month.

That's a definite order, Mike.

I'll write.

And don't forget my Green Shield stamps!

'Scuse me, sir.

Are you Mr Rogers?

- Yes. - A telephone call for you.

Thank you!

Hello?

- Michael? - Ellie!

I'm sorry, I just couldn't get over in time.

- Ellie, where are you? - Rome.

I really am sorry, I was looking forward to it so much.

So was I.

- But it's all right now you've phoned. - Listen.

Greta and I have managed to persuade Cora and Uncle Frank.

We're gonna have my party in London.

- What party? - Oh, some silly party. On Friday.

So best if I don't see you till the next day.

- Why? - You don't mind, do you?

Because, Mike, something really exciting's happened.

I'll tell you when we meet.

Okay, when?

Well, what's wrong with Saturday morning?

- Ten-thirty. - Ten-thirty, where?

Where?

On the embankment by the Festival Hall.

I think even I can find that!

Mike!

Mike!

Mike!

Mike, it's me!

Mike, I'm sorry I'm late.

What's the matter?

I'm sorry, Mike!

Couldn't have told me, could you?

Might have made it too easy for me. Stop me getting stupid ideas.

You just don't know what what it's been like!

- Being the sixth richest girl? - Well, that's not my fault.

Anyway, it's not true.

Much more like the sixteenth.

Oh, makes a fat lot of difference once you're in that league!

No wonder you didn't ask me to the party.

Oh, I just couldn't face being cross-examined.

They've screened and checked every single man I've ever wanted to date.

It's like I told you. Cinderella in reverse.

Until an out-of-work rental car driver came along.

- Prince Charming in reverse. - Oh, Mike!

Fenella Thomsen isn't the same as Ellie Thompson. Not for me!

Well, goodbye, Ellie, before I find myself saying

"I have my pride, you know!"

Look, I have my pride too, you know.

Only I don't believe in standing on it.

- You're crying. - I am not!

It's an allergy.

I'm allergic to pollen, and horses, and cats,

and some men.

Especially proud, stupid men,

who haven't even got the sense to order me a glass of water or something

so I can take my medicine!

And who haven't even got the sense to realise I'm in love with them.

Oh, that is the worst coffee I've ever had in my life!

There's no future in it, Ellie.

Maybe not,

but we'd neither of us ever stop thinking about it.

It was different then.

It's different now!

That's what the party was all about.

I'm old enough to do anything I want.

Anything.

Mike...

I went to see your friend, Santonix.

Greta and I went from Rome.

You're right, he's a wonderful person,

and he'll build you a wonderful house!

Yes, well, we can forget it,

because I heard this morning that Gipsy's Acre's gone.

Someone's bought it.

Mmm.

I know.

I have!

Thank you.

Thank you very much!

Please don't go, Mike. Please, please!

You see...

I never met anyone like you before.

Never.

- I do solemnly declare... - I do solemnly declare...

- I know not of any lawful impediment... - I know not of any lawful impediment...

That was where our life together began,

in that tiny township in the Welsh mountains,

where the only newspapermen around

were there to cover the sheepdog trials.

And English was only the second language.

"Dear Mum,

"Sorry to let you know after the event, but I got married last week.

"She's lovely and sweet, and I'm afraid she has an awful lot of money.

"Honeymooning on the continent.

"Love, Mike."

Why keep a house in, so to speak?

Why not make it a part of the landscape?

To be joined with it, whenever you like.

You arrived at the same idea by instinct, Mike.

- Can I see inside? - No, please, please...

Not until I show you the finished house.

You must leave me something up my sleeve.

How long before we can live in it?

It has to be very soon, darling Ellie. If only because...

personally, I'm very short of time.

Gelati!

The ice-cream man cometh.

Now, that's your turn now, Mike.

Gelati!

What happens when the family finds out?

They think I'm touring Scotland with Greta.

They'll blame her, as usual,

and they'll do anything they can to break Mike and me up.

What can they do?

Try and buy Mike off.

Like Gina Barretti's parents did with her first.

Gina... wasn't that the girl who married

- a lifeguard from Miami Beach? - Mmm.

And he got half a million dollars to divorce her quietly.

Isn't that marvellous?

I've not only collected a lovely little wife,

but I can trade her in for solid cash any time I want.

Thank you, Miss Thomsen, that was great!

The honeymoon's over, darling.

Time to pack our bags, and face the family.

Michael, I'd like you to meet my stepmother, Cora Walker-Brown.

How do you do, Mr Rogers?

- How do you do? - Her husband, Reuben.

Hello, there.

Aunt Beth, and Uncle Frank.

Well, sir, I feel called upon to remark

that the news conveyed to us so belatedly constituted...

We were shocked!

And Mr Lippincott. Dear Uncle Andrew.

Of course, he's not really my uncle.

I am that figure of fiction, the family lawyer.

- How are you, Michael? - How do you do, sir?

Gretna Green seems to be the only element missing.

- We were never even informed. - Thanks to Greta.

Why blame her? I married him.

Well, I must say that, between the two of you, and Greta,

you've certainly practised a great deal of deception.

I think I'd better have a talk with Michael alone.

Good idea. Um... why don't we all adjourn to the bar?

Well, if you think things will look better through the bottom of a glass.

Might make us feel better, though.

- Don't I get one? - Of course.

Um, you've probably guessed that, er...

I have something to convey to you.

Oh, yes, sir?

If only I knew just how to convey it.

- In two little words. - Oh?

"How much?"

Bearing in mind that Gina Barretti's first collected five hundred grand.

- I see you've done your homework. - Certainly.

However, as the nearest I got to being a Miami lifeguard

was dishing out the deckchairs at Littlehampton-on-Sea,

one August bank holiday,

you might consider offering me...

only half that.

Such a figure had crossed my mind.

Well, it crossed it in vain, sir.

Er... just out of curiosity, no obligation on either side...

how much?

A quiet divorce with no scandal, what do you say?

I might settle for the state of Texas as a first instalment.

Haven't you ever heard of two people falling in love, sir?

Not only have I heard of it, my boy,

but, one way or another, I make half my income out of it.

I see that you have a sense of humour.

Which, as a member of this family, you're certainly going to need.

Greta. What do you know about Greta?

- Well, only what Ellie's told me. - You've never met her?

No. I would have, if Ellie had had her way.

Greta would have organised the wedding and the honeymoon.

- But I put my foot down there. - Good.

Did you know Greta had been dismissed by the family?

No. But, to be honest, I can't say I'm sorry.

Do you mind some advice, then?

Don't let Greta attach herself to you and Ellie.

Well couldn't Ellie pension her off, or something?

Greta's a little young to be pensioned off.

And awfully attractive, even to a desiccated old poop like me.

Then she ought to find it easy enough to get another job.

With the sort of references that she'll get from this family?!

Of course, I suppose that Ellie could show her gratitude

by settling a sum on Greta.

That would get her out of everyone's hair.

I'll have a talk to Ellie when we get back.

...if you can do it without hurting Greta's feelings.

But, Uncle Andrew, you haven't said a word about Mike.

He's great, isn't he? Really special.

He's an extremely attractive personality, and I can see

exactly why you married him.

If you can do it...

Managed to slip away.

So far, no-one's changed the subject once.

Anyway, I've no hard feelings.

- Why should you have? - Why indeed?

After all, we're both in the same boat, more or less.

You more, and me less, unfortunately.

- Oh, do you mind? - How do you mean?

Well, I married the thin end of the family trust.

And while Ellie's around, it stays thin.

Mark you, I'm not complaining.

Oh, by the way, now that we're members of the same family,

you wouldn't happen to have a spare tenner about you, would you?

It's just that I've got this awfully good thing for Ascot,

and it's too late to go to a bank.

Thanks, old man.

Yes, well, I'd better get back to the demo.

Tell them that I'm expecting them up here to dine tonight.

What, all of them?

All of them.

I told you you were going to need your sense of humour.

I have known our Ellie since the day she was born.

She was lovely then. She's even lovelier now.

Hear hear!

I want you to raise your glasses, and drink to her happiness.

To Ellie and Michael.

Ellie and Michael.

Ellie.

Telegram, madam.

Oh. More congratulations, perhaps.

Oh, that's marvellous!

Greta's back tonight.

Greta?!

Greta?

She'll meet us tomorrow, down at Gipsy's Acre.

Isn't that wonderful, darling?

Lovely.

There she is. Look!

Greta!

I do hope you'll like her.

But not too much.

Greta!

Oh, Greta. This is Mike, at last.

At last, indeed. Hello, Greta. Very happy to meet you.

Ellie has talked about you so much, I feel I know you already.

And you, darling, you look so happy.

- I am. Ecstatically. - Oh, marvellous!

My wonderful reward for abusing my position of trust,

as Cora so beautifully put it.

What are you gonna do, Greta?

Oh, I have a secretary's job lined up.

Abroad?

No.

In London.

When we move in, you must be the first,

absolutely the first, to come and stay with us.

- Isn't that right, Mike? - Why not?

Come on, I'm just dying to talk to you.

Uncle Andrew's had the most wonderful idea.

Well, now you have met her,

what do you think?

She's certainly beautiful.

And strong.

Stronger than Ellie, I think.

I love Ellie.

I really love Ellie, Mike.

I was to remember those words later.

While we were waiting for the house,

Ellie and I took over the antiques shop in Market Chadwell.

The very one that had brought us together.

Until, at last, Santonix sent for us,

and the great day had come.

At Gipsy's Acre,

we have a principal living room that I call "my room for all seasons".

Well, now, let's pretend

the season's set for winter.

The windows are one-way only.

You can see the view outside, but no-one can see in.

And now, after winter,

spring.

Ellie is making her music.

Ellie, the music maker, the dreamer of dreams.

And now, after spring,

summer.

Voilà.

A little magic.

Now... to the next.

What's happened? I don't know!

- Magic... - But where did that come from?

I don't know.

Well, is this how you imagined it?

My imagination never went half as far.

Thank you. Oh, thank you!

Gipsy's Acre.

Life of happiness.

Good fortune.

That's Cora's car!

She didn't waste much time.

Oh, what a day to call! Well, I don't wanna see her.

Well, why not go inside and pull up the drawbridge?

They haven't seen us yet. Please, quick, quick!

I don't think they've moved in yet.

Well, ring the bell anyway.

Now, nobody can see us.

Your health, madam.

I can't see anything!

Now, come on, now...

Hello!

I think she's going.

"Darling Ellie,

"Called, but you hadn't arrived. Will try again later."

Oh...

"What do you think, darling?

"We found a cute eighteenth-century, furnished cottage for the summer,

"only fifteen miles from you."

Oh, God!

"Quite by chance. Would you believe it?"

Frankly, not for a bloody second.

Now, what do they want?

What are they after down here?

Stay where you are!

I think you'd better explain yourself.

- Who the hell are you?! - George?

I believe that's Mr Rogers.

Isn't it?

Yes.

I thought I recognised him from the newspapers.

Oh, Lord!

I'm awfully sorry, Rogers.

My name's Philpott, local doctor. We're neighbours.

- Oh, er... my wife. - How do you do?

What happened, Mike?

It's all right, Ellie. These are our neighbours, the Philpotts.

Dr Philpott is the local doctor.

- My wife, Ellie. - How do you do?

Santonix.

They've taken a long time to get there.

Yes.

But surely they wouldn't...

Yes, why would anybody...

Probably some hooligan.

A crank, more likely.

You've had a certain amount of publicity, haven't you?

Very destructive spirit, Wanadi.

It couldn't be... oh, no, no, surely not.

What?

Miss Townsend?

Miss Townsend?!

It's just that she warned us off when we first met here.

She rather frightened Ellie.

And... well, she... she seems to be always hanging around the place.

Oh, she is a bit odd, certainly.

Considers herself the local seer, and so on.

But I expect you know the story?

Oh, just one piece, thank you.

But I can't see her being guilty of anything like malicious damage.

Matter of fact, my family owes her something of a debt.

One winter, when I was away army doctoring,

she fished out a young nephew of mine

who'd gone through the ice in our lake.

Damn. Slipped!

Sorry, Ellie.

Here, let me...

It's just that...

Well I was going to say that my best friend at school...

- went like that. - Oh, I'm sorry.

David and Jonathan, they used to call us, we...

we were together so much.

- Skating, was it? - Yes, up on the reservoir.

Only the day before, we played in the usual bit of Shakespeare on Speech Day.

In those days I was crazy to go on the stage.

What say'st thou, noble heart?

What will I do, think'st thou?

Why, Roderigo, go to bed and sleep.

I will incontinently drown myself.

If thou dost,

I shall never love thee after it. If thou wilt needs

damn thyself, do it a more delicate way than drowning.

Do you hear, Roderigo?

Roderigo!

Don't die!

Don't die!

Come to think of it, it could have been a shot, couldn't it?

Mmm?

A shot.

Oh yes, I suppose it could.

Well, goodbye.

- And if I can be of any help... - Thank you.

- Thank you again for the lovely... - Very nice to have met you.

- Goodbye - Nice to have met you.

When you've settled in, I'll organise a party for you to meet the neighbours.

- Good. - Goodbye!

- Shall we go back there? - Let's walk across that way, dear, yes.

I won't let anybody drive us away!

This is our house, and we're gonna stay in it!

Of course we are.

We said it like a challenge to fate,

and, for a time, it seemed to work.

Then, Greta came.

It was only to be for the weekend, Ellie said, but...

Mike!

Come and see what Greta's given us.

Our housewarming present!

- Hello, Greta. - Hello, Mike.

You really shouldn't have, darling.

I can't wait to see!

Oh, isn't he beautiful! Isn't he gorgeous!

Oh, thank you, darling, he's absolutely lovely!

- Isn't he, Mike? - Yes, very nice.

Now, where shall we put him?

Any ideas, darling?

Several.

How about over there?

Let's get this thing out of the way...

and that...

Um...

Mmm!

Good!

Except, of course, that that painting kills the cat.

Don't you agree, Michael?

Or the cat kills the painting.

Which, incidentally, I happen to have found for Ellie!

Oh you can put it anywhere. Put it in the study.

Ooh! Er... have you got a pair of steps?

Get the steps, darling.

Darling...

I tried, all right.

It was a hell of a strain that weekend, Greta being there.

But I certainly tried.

Until...

My wife could easily have been killed, Sergeant!

I tell you, she was scared stiff, and so was the bloody horse!

What'd the old lady say to her, exactly?

Yelled out something stupid about seeing death riding at her shoulder.

Never yells as a rule. Not her usual style at all.

Oh, well, that's hardly the point, is it?

Unless this time somebody's paying her to do it.

- Now why should anyone pay her? - Dunno.

Frighten you and Mrs Rogers off?

You said something about it's happened two or three times before.

Yes, but I'd hardly have thought Miss Townsend was the sort you could bribe.

True, but supposing it was put to her cleverly

that she wasn't living it up like a Townsend ought to,

not being a real Townsend.

That, er... might be her sensitive spot.

You must have some reason for saying that.

Not really, Mr Rogers.

Except that she hired a big Daimler

when she went on her last table-rapping safari, and, er...

the bus has always been good enough for her before.

Mike?

Aah!

Ellie!

- Are you hurt? - Oh, my ankle!

I fell on that thing, and I've twisted it, I think.

What on earth are you doing out here

in the middle of the night, darling? Are you crazy?

Well, what about you?

What happened, Mike?

Nothing. Nothing!

You scared me wandering off like that. What was it?

It was nothing, I tell you, I...

I just couldn't sleep, love.

That's all.

Now, come on...

see if you can walk.

- Can you? - No!

Careful.

There.

Greta!

What is it?

What's happened?

- What have you done, darling? - Twisted her ankle.

- Oh, let me... - No!

And what are you doing out here, anyway?

I thought I heard something.

There you are. What was it?

Like a child crying.

- Mike! - I tell you, there was nothing.

Now, go to bed!

Mike...

Mike!

Mmm?

That sound that you and Greta heard.

It wasn't a child, was it?

It was a cat.

A Siamese cat.

Coming along nicely.

Still, better keep the weight off it for another day or two.

Lucky Miss Greta was able to stay on to look after her.

- Yes, wasn't it? - Blasted wasps!

Absolute plague this year.

Oh, help yourself to a slice of quiche Lorraine.

Dorothy made it herself.

Oh!

Oh, hello, Michael.

Hello.

Er... we're neighbours now.

Yes, I gathered we were to have that pleasure,

but I was not aware that it was actually upon us.

Well, I really must say hello to darling Ellie.

...and I was saying to your Bishop only this morning,

that ritual is ritual,

and should be regarded as ritual.

Michael.

How's the world of antiques? Business brisk?

Now, what are you all doing here?

Or shouldn't I ask?

Well, the Philpotts innocently assumed that you'd be pleased to see us.

Oh, and Frank and Beth happen to be staying for the weekend, so...

I brought them along. Simple.

Mmm.

Er... know anything for Ascot?

I haven't forgotten.

There's no need for the crack.

Good, isn't it?

Mmm, marvellous.

You going to that sale at, er... Brett House next month, Michael?

Yes. Thought I might pick up something for the shop.

- I'll drive you over if you like. - Oh, thanks.

- Remind you nearer the day. - Fine.

...or gave way. You naughty girl!

Fraternising, Reuben?

No, I was just chatting, you know?

I'd love to see the rest of your garden, Mrs Philbutt.

- Pott. - Yes, indeed.

I thought you were typing away in some little office in London?

I am. Thanks to those splendid references.

Well you know the family motto. "The truth shall prevail."

Yes, but how do some people recognise it,

on such a slender aquaintance?

Michael!

Yes?

Will you come now, please?

- Now, what's all this then? - We're leaving.

Ellie's stepmother has made it too embarrassing for us.

You mean, for you?

Darling, you don't understand.

Cora insulted her.

Well, is that any reason why you and I should have to leave?

It is impossible to stay after that.

- You don't decide! - Ellie agrees.

Does she think she can run my life as well as yours?

Darling, everybody's looking.

Well, what do I care? I've had a bellyful all week!

"Move that down, take that, put that there."

Who the hell does she think she is?

It's all my fault.

I admit it is my fault. I should have said nothing,

asked for nothing.

Oh, Greta.

- Greta, of course you mustn't shut up... - Next time I say anything ethical to...

I only want to help.

To be of use.

- Oh, crikey. - Shut up!

I knew from the beginning that

Michael hated me being here with you.

He didn't trust me!

I should never have come to stay.

Oh, Greta!

Greta, don't go!

Oh, my God, now it's the two of them!

Women's first and last bloody refuge, tears!

For heaven's sake let her stay!

Make it permanent for all I care.

Oh no. No, you're creasing them.

And anyway, I'm going!

- You're staying. - No, I'm not, I'm going.

Oh no, you're not!

Well, what's so bloody funny?

It's you, darling.

You look so funny!

He is so funny.

She's bloody staying!

And get something for those blasted wasps!

I'm terribly sorry, Michael.

Will you please forgive me?

Let's forget it.

Oh, come on, let's open a bottle of champagne.

- Hello, darling. - Hello, darling.

Could you stop off on your way home and pick up my capsules?

I'm sneezing my head off, and I'm all out of them.

Sure. Anything, anytime, anywhere.

- Miss me? - Mmm.

Can't keep my mind on my work.

I'm almost inclined to call it a day.

How is business?

Well, believe it or not, I think I can hear a real, live customer.

- Don't let him get away! - I won't.

- So long, now. Bye. - Bye.

♪ ...we rightly know.

♪ Through the world we safely go

♪ La la la la la la la

♪ Every night and every morn

♪ Some to misery are born... ♪

Santonix!

How marvellous!

- Hello. - What a surprise! How are you?

I looked in to say goodbye to Ellie.

He's off tomorrow to the States, to build another house.

This time, my last.

Oh no, now please don't say that!

Darling Ellie, I've had my final treatment.

There cannot be any more.

Sorry I've been so long. I...

How are you?

Er... thank you. We have exhausted that subject, I think.

Greta, dear.

Fix us some tea, would you mind?

Of course, darling.

Why did you let Greta stay here?

Ellie hurt her ankle. Anyway, she'll be going soon.

No. You have let her take possession!

'Course I haven't!

Look, I've already had one flaming public row.

What else do you expect me to do?

Have you any idea where you are going, Mike?

What? Look, I'm going the way I want.

I can't reach you.

Can I?

I can't reach you.

♪ Man was made for joy and woe

♪ And when this we rightly know

♪ Through the world we safely go

♪ Every night and every morn

♪ Some to misery... ♪

Don't stop. Go on.

Why were you looking at me like that, darling?

Like what?

As if...

as if you love me so much, it made you sad.

You looked...

I dunno.

Fragile and beautiful.

Almost out of another century.

Like the song.

It's from your poet, Blake.

♪ Some are born to sweet delight

♪ Some are born to endless night ♪

You're crying.

Perhaps because it's true.

Oh, Ellie!

Ellie, darling! Where are you?

You're always looking through those binoculars.

As if the place were besieged.

Well, it is, in a way.

By old Reuben.

After all, he's our neighbour now.

Fifteen miles away.

Why is he always riding around here?

- What is it? - Oh, nothing.

Thought for a moment he was going to fall off.

Unfortunately, he didn't.

Mike.

You saw her, didn't you?

All right, Mike.

I'm not a child.

No point in worrying you, was there?

Well...

I guess she has the right to stand in a field

staring at us all day, if she gets a kick out of it.

Why don't you come with me to the sale after all?

You know you don't want me to.

Well, I had my reasons, but what the hell.

No, I'm all right.

Besides, I'd only have to change back again.

I'll meet you at the Crown for lunch.

Fine.

- Morning, Michael. - Not riding with Ellie today?

Of course not, darling.

Greta's going up to London shopping with Mrs Philpott, remember?

Yeah, of course.

God, it's time I was leaving.

Hey, what's all this about?

You look especially elfin this morning.

See you later, love.

Take care.

Mr Degenhart.

Next lot's the one you're after.

Lot thirty-two.

A mother-of-pearl inlaid Victorian papier-mâché table.

Yes, I marked it down for Ellie.

It's her birthday on Sunday. That's why I didn't want her to come.

Sixty... sixty-five... seventy... seventy-five...

eighty... eighty-five... ninety... ninety-five...

one hundred... one hundred and ten...

one hundred and twenty...

one hundred and thirty...

one hundred and forty...

one hundred and fifty...

At one hundred and fifty pounds...

Going... going...

gone.

One forty-five.

Woman's privilege, you know.

Not like Ellie, though. She'd have left a message.

You're wanted on the phone, Mr Rogers.

Ah, that's her now, probably got held up.

Order for me too, doctor, will you?

Hello?

Have you heard anything of Mrs Rogers, sir?

She hasn't come back yet.

Hasn't come back yet? Come back from where?

From her ride, sir.

I haven't seen her since.

Ellie!

Ellie!

No. No, Mike.

Doctor Philpott has told us

that he considered Mrs Rogers had been dead about two hours

- and Dr Shaw agreed. - Ellie.

But no injury was found that could have caused her death.

Stomach contents were normal,

and deceased's internal organs perfectly healthy.

In my opinion, death was due to cardiac failure,

probably resulting from shock.

- Associated with her fall? - That is difficult to say for certain,

but it would be consistent...

The capsules she was taking were standard antihistamine

without side-effects, and could not have been responsible...

I can't get it out of my mind.

You see, Ellie would have been with me

if I hadn't've planned a surprise for her birthday.

Well, she looked...

well and happy before I left, before I...

she...

sh...

Give Mr Rogers a glass of water.

Do, please, sit down and wait a little, if you like.

No, no, no, I'm... I'm all right. I'm all right, thank you.

She was alone, you see...

Ellie.

She...

El...

Ellie died alone.

Most distressing.

Thank you, Mr Rogers.

- May I say something, sir? - Certainly.

Well, I'm... I'm not satisfied, sir.

Oh?

Why?

Well, things have happened.

Things have happened before, the things I told you about.

She was...

she was well that morning. She was per...

I'm... I'm just not satisfied, sir.

I see.

Thank you, Mr Rogers. I can understand your distress.

Thank you, Mr Rogers.

Sergeant Keene.

Is Miss Townsend in court yet?

- No, sir. - Well, why not?

These alleged threats and warnings could be material.

She's not been at her home, sir,

nor seen anywhere since, but we expect to locate her soon.

Well, I certainly hope so.

Well, everything points to death being due to accidental causes,

with insufficient evidence to show how it occurred.

In the circumstances, I suppose I must adjourn this inquest

till Miss Townsend can be found.

I'm sure we all feel the very deepest sympathy

for the bereaved young husband.

Michael?

Michael!

Going back to the house?

No. Greta's still there, clearing up.

The Philpotts are looking after me for a while.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

Er... do you mind if I go ahead with Michael?

I'll see you later, Michael.

What did you mean, you aren't really satisfied?

Oh, I wish I really knew.

You know something?

Reuben was out riding near there that morning.

Reuben?

Well, he said something once about Cora having the thin end of the trust,

and Ellie standing in the way.

Reuben has never been known to get anything right.

Horses, women, or facts.

His incompetence borders on the supernatural.

Besides, Ellie wasn't in Cora's way anymore. You were.

Me?

I'm afraid you'll have to come to America.

What for?

To look after your business interests.

Oh, didn't you know?

Ellie altered her will soon after she got married.

She did it in London, and, I regret to say, without consulting me.

You are the principal beneficiary.

But I'd no idea... I...

I didn't even know she'd made a will.

Oh, yes. And the ramifications of the estate are enormous.

Without expert advice, you'll be thoroughly confused.

With it, you'll be even more confused.

There's another reason why you should come to America.

Ellie's will called for her to be buried there.

But she wouldn't want that!

Away from Gipsy's Acre?

I guess she didn't think to alter that part.

You see, she wouldn't have been expecting to die just yet.

America?

Putting it into very simple language, Mr Rogers,

fifteen percent of the holdings in Transtex Transportation

are convertible every five years until 1990

into Bifurcated Yellowstone

at prices escalating from $28.20 to $36.60

per stock unit.

I feel called upon to remark

that, bearing in mind the recent behaviour of the Dow Jones Index,

it might be wise to kiss goodbye to Northwest Zinc...

And I say, with due humility,

that it was a rare privilege to have known such an utterly lovable,

utterly warm, utterly delightful,

and utterly outgiving personality.

And I feel called upon to remark

that, bearing in mind the recent behaviour of the Dow Jones Index,

it might be wise to kiss goodbye to Northwest Zinc,

and reinvest in a less volatile enterprise.

For we brought nothing into this world,

and it is certain we can carry nothing out.

So why not invest the residue in Consolidated Metallics?

A very, very sound corporation indeed.

Remaining forever a fragrant memory in our hearts.

Let us pray.

Ashes to ashes,

dust to dust.

Sign here.

Sign there.

Say when!

I said it would be confusing, but that about clears it up.

What will you do when you return home?

Where will you live?

Gipsy's Acre, of course.

Ellie wouldn't want me to sell it. It was ours.

- Greta still looking after it? - Well, till I get back.

Can I ask you something, Mr Lippincott?

Somehow, I've never got around to calling you "Uncle Andrew".

No, that was... Ellie's prerogative, perhaps.

As you know,

I've never had much time for Greta.

A very confident girl, nevertheless.

Yes, well, that's it. I mean fair's fair.

When I dismiss her, should I give her a present, or what?

Well, Ellie provided for her adequately,

but if, when she leaves, you want to add

what the French call a "douceur"... well, that's up to you.

Er... are you flying back?

- No, sailing. - Oh.

Tomorrow's boat. I think the voyage will do me good.

Yes.

Well, there's one more document that concerns you.

It came in this morning.

As soon as it's been certified and copied,

I'll mail it to you in England.

It should be waiting for you on your arrival.

Is that the lot?

Fine.

Oh.

Hello?

Yes, he's still with me.

Who?

Oh wait, I'll talk with him.

It's the Halcyon County Hospital, Goshen.

Your friend, Santonix. He's asking for you.

Michael?

Yes.

Yes, I'm here.

I built you a good house.

You built me a wonderful house.

You...

You...

You damned fool.

Why didn't you go the other way?

Next day, I sailed for home.

Home, to the only place I cared for.

Gipsy's Acre.

I saw you coming.

- Where are the servants? - Gone. Paid off.

- Had a good trip? - Fine, thank you.

No, darling, wait.

Oh Christ, I've waited long enough!

Haven't I?

Mike, wait.

Oh, Mr Sailor, home from sea.

We made it.

I guess we have.

Although New York was bloody tough.

Still, I've always enjoyed playing a part.

What about the Philpotts?

My telegram said expect me any time up till midnight.

I'll be getting along soon.

Very nice people, the old doc and his wife.

Very fond of them.

They're really quite attached to me.

It was worth the risk tonight.

You enjoy taking risks, don't you, Greta?

We took some with Ellie.

- I don't want to talk about Ellie. - Darling...

I don't want you to talk about Ellie.

Mike, don't spoil it now.

Anyway, after tonight we can't meet for...

three months?

At least.

I arranged with Uncle Andrew to terminate your engagement with

what the French call a "douceur".

Darling, you've just given me one.

Didn't tell you. Santonix is dead.

Oh, what a pity.

"Oh, what a pity."

You never cared for him much, did you?

About as much as he cared for me.

I was with him when he died.

He said I ought to have gone the other way.

Anyway,

he built you a nice house.

I think it would be an idea to keep it on for a while.

What?

You don't think I'm going to live anywhere else, do you?

How can we live here all the time,

with all the world to see, and the money to see it with?

If I wanted to see the world, I'd have joined the bloody Navy!

You're tired, and on edge.

I quite understand.

Yes, maybe I am.

Time I was going.

Sorry, love.

Oh, Mike...

some mail for you here.

It's a big envelope with a New York postmark.

Ah, that'll be the one from Uncle Andrew.

I'll bring the doctor along in the morning.

He can watch me shaking you gratefully by the hand.

And then, that should...

What is it?

Christ Almighty!

Look at the back. Look at the back!

Amsterdam, August 17th, 19..."

Last year!

Before I first met Ellie.

"I warned Ellie about you more than once.

"but she would never listen.

"Lippincott."

He knows. He knows!

He suspected from the beginning, now he's dug and dug

and found the proof!

Christ Almighty, what are we gonna do?!

Well, don't just stand there, what are we gonna do?

We're finished, don't you understand?

We're finished! He knows!

Then we don't get the house. We don't get anything.

It's all been for nothing!

Mike, stop panicking!

What does he know?

Only that we met before.

What can he prove about Ellie now?

I saw her tonight.

What do you mean?

She was standing there smiling,

but she couldn't see me.

What's the matter with you? You imagined it.

But why couldn't she see me? I was there, wasn't I?

Mike, there is no time to lose.

He warned her about me, but...

she would never listen.

Why wouldn't she?

Get back to Philpott now.

Act it out, and there is nothing they can do to us.

'Cause she loved me, that's why.

Perhaps I loved her, too.

I could have been happy, couldn't I?

Really, married to Ellie?

Go, now.

Supposing Ellie took that capsule knowing,

just because she thought that was what I wanted?

You're mad.

I must have been, mustn't I?

Listen.

Go back. Go to bed.

Take a pill, sleep it off.

I don't care, but, for God's sake,

wake up with a clear head in the morning!

Shut up, you silly cow!

You planned it.

You've lost me Gipsy's Acre.

You've lost me this house,

and, worst of all, you lost me Ellie!

No, Mike! No, Mike!

You think you're stronger than I am.

You're wrong! You've always been wrong!

I was so happy that last day with Ellie.

Now that couldn't be right, could it?!

Oh, Mike... no...

♪ Every morn and every night

♪ Some are born to sweet delight

♪ Some are born to sweet delight

♪ Some are born to endless night ♪

Why, thou silly gentleman!

If thou wilt needs damn thyself,

do it a more delicate way than drowning.

Michael.

Yes?

Do you know who I am?

'Course.

You're old Philpott.

About Ellie...

it was in her allergy capsule, wasn't it?

Cyanide, I expect, in the capsule?

Yes.

We split the two halves of the capsule,

put some of the stuff for the wasps in,

stuck them together again.

You remember the wasps?

- Rather clever, wasn't it? - Very.

Because after two hours there'd be nothing.

Nothing to smell, nothing to find.

That's why I guessed.

Yes. Greta looked all that up.

That was a smashing quarrel we had.

- Didn't I do it well? - Yes, very well.

Michael, about Miss Townsend...

There was no Miss Townsend. Everybody knows that.

Of course, Mike, of course, but you know who I mean.

You paid her to do some of those things, didn't you?

After that, she knew too much.

What could you do?

There's no such person!

Mickey...

I tried, Mickey,

but I was afraid all those years.

Ever since I came across Joe's watch in your drawer.

Mustn't blame yourself, Mum.

Might've been different if my Dad had lived.

Your Dad?

Your Dad was nothing!

Nothing!

Go on, Michael.

I don't seem to be able to remember any more.

Can I go home now, please?

Doctor Philpott, I don't like it here anymore.

Can I go back to Gipsy's Acre now?

Doctor Philpott, can I go home now, please?

Well, Michael, my boy, it was fine that time,

as far as it goes.

But, I suppose you realise

that you never tell the same story twice, don't you?

Sometimes you tell it

as it seems to you,

and sometimes you tell it

as you would like it to seem to us.

Not quite the same thing, is it?

Look, now why don't we go right back to the beginning

and start all over again?

And, this time,

see if you can tell us what you did to Miss Townsend.

I think I ought to mention that...