Original subtitles

What are we doing here anyways?

I have a victory speech to prepare.

And let me tell you, it's going to be so fantastic.

It's going to be the best victory speech that the great Americans have ever

heard.

Oh, seriously.

I won this election by landslide.

You're a loser.

Loser.

Oh, hello.

You're both here.

Thank you both for waiting.

With all due respect, Mr. President, what are we both doing here?

Exactly. This is my office now. I've won. The two of you need to beat it,

because you were both losers.

Well, it turns out we have a bit of a problem.

I don't know. What is it, Mr. President?

Spit it out, dummy.

Well, as it turns out, I got the election result here.

And, uh... It's a tie.

No.

That is not true. That is impossible.

She is a liar.

You are a liar.

And you are both losers.

There is no way that I have lost because all I have ever done is win.

I demand a rematch.

A rematch.

Well, now, now, Mr. Trump, Hillary, both of you, calm the fuck down.

All right?

It turns out I have a solution to this problem.

Now, what's going to happen right now is both of you guys are going to make love

to my lovely wife, Michelle, tonight.

And whoever's better at fucking wins the presidency.

Excuse me?

I am the best at lovemaking.

I am so fantastic.

And I can eat the pussy as well.

I'm incredible at eating the pussy.

I will take care of you, Michelle.

Excuse me?

Mr. President, you just grabbed her.

You just grabbed.

Her by the... By the vajayjay.

You can say it. It's cool.

I am the best at fucking.

I am so fantastic at fucking.

They talk about it in China.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sure the cock is huge.

Come on.

Come on.

It's okay.

I'm going to eat her pussy.

And I'm going to eat her pussy better than anyone's ever eaten her pussy.

Can't be. Can't be.

Mr. Trump, observe.

Just grab me by the... Grab her by the pussy.

My man. Of course she won't do it. She's so crooked. She's a chicken.

He's going down.

He's going down.

Literally.

A little presidential humor.

Oh. Oh.

Am I the best pussy or what?

You look so good.

I know I'm fantastic.

Don't lie to me, Michelle.

You're right.

Contrary to the rumors, blacks do eat pussy. I'll just have you know.

Wait, wait.

You're right.

Half and half.

I wouldn't be pretty.

Pussy's all the same, though.

Oh, my, my, my. I'm out of secretary.

Thank you.

Thank you.

You know, you could wear a skirt every once in a while.

Make it easier to fuck.

I'd never be president that way.

Bad secretary.

Bad secretary. No more Benghazi. No more Benghazi.

Tell me.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, my God.

You're a liar.

I would never, ever lie.

Oh, my God.

That's so good.

I told you I was fantastic.

It's looking amazing.

I like it.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's it.

That's it.

Come on.

Hide the evidence.

Hide the evidence.

I love women.

I love women.

Grab him by the pussy.

Cuts to the chest.

Women around the world love me. I think I'm terrific.

Not so much.

I love your mother.

Speaking of pussy, I want to get back in.

It doesn't work anymore.

Oh my God.

Oh, my God.

I'm going to out -fuck you.

We'll see who gets to be president.

Like a fucking man.

That's not a winner. Smash his ass.

Fuck.

I have to tell you, it's a lot bigger than I thought it'd be.

I'm still gonna win.

Oh,

fuck

yeah.

Oh, my God.

There you go. Oh, yeah.

Uh -huh.

Oh, yes. That's a good one.

Nice and deep like that.

Oh.

Kitty. Uh -huh. Yes.

Uh -huh.

Yeah. Uh -huh.

Uh -huh.

This is true.

Yes, yes.

Like that.

Like that. Like that.

Don't tell me you got the sniffles.

Yes.

The Clintons are a dynasty.

I'll out -fuck you any day.

After you.

Hi,

wifey.

Isn't that fucking?

Yes.

I'm sure he's fucking.

Oh, yeah.

Oh,

shit. Oh, yeah.

Oh,

my God.

Yes,

yes, yes.

Give it to him.

Give it to him.

Show him how to do it.

I'm a terrific fucker.

Hillary,

if you can't please a man, how do you plan to please this country?

You look pretty pleased to me.

Your moral skills in the world will help you.

Thank you, Mr.

Trump.

The Claytons are well -versed.

An oral skill.

Oh, my

God.

It's you, Mr. Trump.

Raise his knee if you can't get along.

But it's cold.

Cold for America.

It's time for a change, America.

Yes, it is.

It's time for a change.

It's beautiful.

It's beautiful.

It's time for a change

of cock.

I think so.

Oh, it's depressing.

We're going to use some boulders over this, Mr. Scott.

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

Oh, fuck.

Yeah,

yeah, yeah.

Yeah, just fucking like that. Always.

Fuck.

Pulsing people.

Pulsing people. Yes.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Uh -huh.

Oh, I smell something like this.

Thank you.

Oh, my

God.

Oh, my God. Oh,

my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, shit.

Oh, yes, sir.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I'm like, fuck.

Fuck.

I bet you didn't know. I didn't know.

I'm your mother. I know.

You shouldn't be so proud.

Oh, shut up. Oh, yes.

Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Oh, my God.

Yes. Yes.

I love you.

I love you.

I miss you.

I miss you already.

I miss you.

Ready to come, Mr. President.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, my goodness.

Who won?

I did. No contest.

Hold it, hold it.

Here's the simple truth.

1 % of the penises in this country are getting 90 % of the pussy.

The pussy is being stooped by a small handful of millionaires and

In my view, it's time for a fair America.

What the hell is this?

Bernie here is the next president of the United States.

Well, then why did you... What?

Well, Michelle and I, we just wanted to get freaky in the Oval Office one last

time. Isn't that right, honey? We sure do.

Now, if you jerks don't mind, get the fuck out of my office.

Whew!