Original subtitles

Hmm, top secret eh?

It means that every man in the flotilla knows about it already.

Still, I might as well have a word with the ship's company, just a Scottish room.

Oh, is it?

You hear that, you hear that?

The captain wishes to talk to the ship's company.

Captain speaking, you may all have been wondering

what this trick security has been in Adalve recently.

We are about to fly the first trial of a new top

secret weapon known as the Acoustic Torpedo Mark I.

One, firing ship will be the fox.

Well, she's all set.

Looks like a deady big gun bug on its way to the moon, doesn't it?

Yeah, I'll go and call the bridge ready for firing.

Already for firing, sir.

Hey, good.

Run Captain Dean, standby to fire.

Aye, sir.

Done.

Very good.

Stand by.

Box report already for firing, sir.

Very good.

Say no fox to fire.

Didn't send him straight back.

Come on, survivors.

Have another cup of tea?

How could you do it all over again?

Now, why don't you launch his belt out?

Yeah, cheer up.

Mike, don't take too hard.

Are the men being looked after number one?

Yes, everything's under control.

Thanks, everyone.

Thank you.

Why didn't you take evasive action?

Well, I did, sir.

It was quite useless.

That blasted creeper was hopping about like a piano drum.

Some pee.

What?

I said some pee, sir.

Did you?

Look at them with no casualties.

I did give the men to abandon ship stations in ample times, sir.

Oh, I know you did.

Andrews are not blaming you.

Toblin, is there something fundamentally wrong with the whole design?

Oh, yes.

I ring for you when I want you.

Bliss with?

Hi, I shall.

Someone has repaired the bell.

I take it.

Yes, sir.

I'll fix it myself.

I guess I'll have to shot for you.

That is what their lordships of the admiralty and

their wisdom have seen fit to send to me as a servant.

National service, ma'am, ambitions to join the electrical branch.

Haven't helped the electrical branch be does, sir.

Haven't helped us if he doesn't.

I thought he'd look a bit stupid.

Yes, he does.

He's not altogether, though.

In fact, he's got a first-class brand by my side, as anywhere.

He knows his electrical theory inside out, when it

troubles when he starts joining bits of wire together.

What are you doing down here, slamming?

Any time that you're elected to the Royal Society.

Come on, Professor.

You never just promote your network.

Give me a hand with that luck.

The clock will allow that weapon to be fired or to be caught marshaled.

You know, if I could have just one look at those plans,

I could soon tell you why it came back on its tracks.

Ah, who's talking?

It best pin your ears back when Blissie's talking.

But he don't know about electronic same-worth, no?

You know, it's more than that not up there put together.

No, they went to Oxford and Cambridge, didn't you, Blissie?

Why didn't he?

He got on the wrong bus.

Do you mind?

Uh, pipe down, you're not.

That Blissie explained.

Well, it's quite simple.

The acoustic torpedo mark 1, commonly known as the chief petio... A creeper.

...is designed to hone onto the enemy by means of sound waves.

Now, the synchronous impedance and magnetic saturation

are responsible for the destruction of the electrons.

Unfortunately, the person who authorised the trial of the creeper miscalculated the

distance between the salient poles and the armature conductors,

resulting in a faulty excessive dielectric displacement.

Terrifying thought has struck me.

What's that, sir?

Well, the admiral went to bantern the creeper trials just because of this hitch.

That means I'll be firing ship next time.

What's worrying you?

Can't you swim?

Give me another drink, number one, please.

Strong one.

Well, sorry, sir.

We seem to be out of gin.

Ah, that damn full bliss with again.

Trust him.

Ring for him, will you?

Yes, sir.

Get in to send another bottle up.

What do you want to ring the bell for?

You tell me, too, sir.

I don't think I'll have another drink after all.

Morning, sir.

Morning, Bill.

I know a bit.

Where is this morning?

I'll smell that girl trouble again.

Nothing quite as simple as that, sir.

The next creeper trials are fixed for the day after tomorrow.

How about the latest modification?

A signal from Aberty.

They're sending down a buffing call potter, sir.

Due to a ride this morning.

That time, too.

We should also need the plans, sir.

Why, hasn't he got his earn?

There's another signal here, sir, from Aberty.

Telling us to expect a Commada Phillips U .S.

Navy.

Authorizing us to hand in one copy of the creeper plans to return to our same days.

Well, that's all right.

We got a couple.

By the way, where are they?

Locked in your safe, sir.

Oh, yes, of course.

Oh, there's another signal here, sir, from the A.

Commada Chief.

Addressed to all ships and authorities in his command.

What's bit nearby this time?

Security, sir.

He's having a special security drive as from today.

Your passer.

I'm Commada Phillips, U.S.

Navy.

I'd still like to see your passer.

Excellent.

I was just testing your efficiency.

With my instruction, sir, I wouldn't let my

own father through those gates without a pass.

Thank you, sir.

The captain's expecting you, sir.

Will you follow me?

Thank you.

Come in.

Commada Phillips, to see you, sir.

The American Commander for the Creeper Plans.

Oh, yes, I remember.

What's he like?

Like most Americans.

Futey.

Will you see him?

I'll have two, I suppose.

Commada Phillips, sir.

Good morning, captain.

Good morning, Commander Phillips.

Nice of you to come on board.

Nice to find a ship left to come aboard.

There's no laughing matter in the Royal Navy, Commander.

The ships are getting fewer and fewer without thinking our own.

Never get promotion that way, what?

How about a drink of something?

Isn't that a little early for that?

No, no, you're on a British ship now.

Simple for this number one.

I say I've been not risking that bell.

Not this time.

I expect you know why I'm here, Captain Forstey.

Oh, yes.

Yes, I had a signal.

You'll return this plan to me this evening, will you?

That's right.

Washington may want to come in on your torpedo.

Very uncomfortable for you.

Well, now this plan, Commander, I...

What?

Tell me that I put those keys.

Ah, Blissworth, serve the drinks, will you?

Sorry, sir.

What was yours again, Commander?

Well, if you insist, I'll have a coke with plenty of ice.

So what?

A coke.

Hello, Blissworth, have any coke on board?

I don't think so, sir.

We burn oil fuel.

Sorry, Commander, no coke.

I'll just have whatever you're having.

A large pink gin with plenty of ice.

Sorry, sir.

No ice.

Why not?

Well, refrigeration plans packed up throughout the ship, sir.

Have you been repairing it?

No, sir.

The dockyard mateys are doing that, sir.

Well, that's even worse.

Look, Blissworth, when am I going to have my bell again?

Well, I'm doing my best to locate the trouble, sir.

Look at the mirror.

You'll find it.

Mirror, sir?

Never heard of a mirror affecting an electrical... I'll never mind.

Never mind.

Three large pink jins without ice.

Bill, have you got my key?

No, sir.

You had it last.

You sure?

Oh, yes, sir.

You used it last night when we couldn't find the bottle opener.

Can this be it?

How good you found it.

Thanks.

It's a good show.

I must say you British take your security very easily.

Well, we have an old naval proverb, Commander.

Always take things easily.

Especially other peoples, huh?

Well, here we are.

Acoustic torpedo mark two.

All right.

Yes, that's all.

Thank you, Blissworth.

All right, sir.

Now, this car is the very latest modification.

So you will take care of it, won't you?

Perhaps I'd better sign for it and get going.

I've got a train to catch.

Sign?

Yes.

You'll want the usual receipt, won't you?

Me?

Here we are, Commander.

If you just sign here... There.

Thank you.

Oh, say sorry.

Yes, four times a piece.

Four?

Yes.

It's said that it's all square.

Four sides to the square, you see.

It's a no naval custom.

Now, that's what I call security.

Three.

Four.

Have a duty.

Yes, thank you very much.

Thank you.

Would you like it wrapped?

No thanks.

Oh, you're welcome, you know.

Perhaps it's your own board, Commander.

You could have a peep at the creeper.

Yes, indeed, sir.

That would be mighty interesting.

Come on then.

Let's go out.

You have only government currently.

There's no need for you to take the nickel to me.

I'm not an inferior person now.

No, no, no.

How are you doing?

I just thought I'd pop in to see how you're getting on.

Oh, it's very nice of you.

What do you say, Ranjit?

Oh, I like that.

Car, I'm very interested in electricity, you know.

I'll say, could I help?

You can help to find out who's cobbled this lot up.

Cobbled it up?

Well, I don't know about that.

I did change the wiring in the icing department.

Oh, you did, did you?

Right, don't do it.

Everybody, all out on strike, I'm a reject.

I did it.

I did it.

Not yet.

I have the shops to it.

Oh, is there any trying to help?

Don't let it help.

Shall I think there's be a mistake in the diagram?

Oh.

Put that to put.

See what I mean?

Where, where, where?

The transform hypertension condit.

Yes.

It's being crossed with the double-dial trial there.

Couldn't see.

He's right.

He's right.

He's right.

Oh, no.

Three months ago, he was washing water bottles in the river.

But he's right about the mistake in the blueprint.

I knew this all the time.

His little apples are short.

I knew he's right.

He's right.

Well, I knew I was right.

He's right.

I know about electric.

See, it runs in my family.

He's running in his family.

Going fast.

Just come on, man.

Just a moment.

Watch your job.

Captain Stuart.

I love Captain Stuart.

Captain Stuart, eh?

What do you do with an electronic brain like you have on a job like that?

Well, I'm putting three times to a transfer to the electrical branch.

Did you hear that?

Three times, he puts in a transfer.

Three times, we bathe on the hood.

You're such a punch of your turf within a minute.

Do you hear that?

I mean, that would be a war.

International incident.

Stay out being a national service man.

Of course, I wouldn't transfer away.

Did you hear that?

That's enough.

Look here.

Why not lift the... Lift the... the aquatic soldier here.

Look at that and find out the mistake in the blueprint.

Let him check the blueprint first.

Prove it where we are.

Runs it?

That's the most sensible thing that's come out of your curry hall today.

Had to happen that way.

Can I really check it out for you?

You can, indeed.

Mind the 30 states.

Yes.

Thank you very much, indeed.

Oh, one other thing.

Gentlemen, could I have a sort of length of flanks?

I've got to fix a captain's bill.

Up yourself.

It's all our morality property.

Yes.

No skin of our needs, you know.

You are.

Nice, fresh, white piece.

Mind how you go?

There's a big time.

I can't do much until that's gone.

Don't you worry about this, please.

I'll have it back to you as soon as I've checked it over.

Oh, it's now rush.

You've got more important things to do.

All is good.

All is good.

More important things to do.

Special thanks.

Ta-ta, ja-ta.

Look here.

Now that... Don't you ever go killing people?

That I'm watching dirty old... Many buffaloes in the hookley river.

In India, in the hookley river... We're having three bathed in the river.

Three bathed a day.

One, three.

Four bathed in the river.

River hookley.

Hello, Sergeant.

Hello, Miss.

I'm returning Lieutenant Commander Fanciol's bicycle.

Well, that's all right, Miss Foster.

We should know you by now.

Okay, I feel sergeant.

I might be planning to blow up a battleship.

Oh, so far as I can, sir.

You can carry one out in your end of bath.

I'll still turn a blind eye.

Here comes Captain's system, and eh?

Morning, Chief.

Morning, Miss Foster.

Is Captain Foster busy?

Never do busy to see you, Miss.

He's with a creeper at the moment.

With who?

Ah, secret torpedo, Miss.

Oh, yes, of course.

Thanks.

It's really quite simple.

Also, I'm told, Commander.

Here, I brought you speaking.

You have the front and, um, front now.

Well, of course, that's the back.

Hmm.

Isn't it number one?

Oh, yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

This end is the front as a rule.

And, uh, this is the rear, as you might say.

Hello, David.

Hello, all right, all right, all right.

Well, that's a warm welcome for a working girl.

Working?

And they're rehearsing the ship's concert, sir.

Your sister is producing.

Oh, excellent.

Oh, by the way, this is Commander Phillips, the United States Navy, my sister Ann.

The light of Dimitri, Miss Foster.

She's the leading actress at our local repertoire theatre.

Going to produce our ship's concert.

How do you do, Commander?

Gee, an actress, huh?

The commander is just leaving.

Hell, I'd love to stay and talk show business.

Oh, why not?

He has to catch a train.

You're right there, Lieutenant Commander.

Well, goodbye, Captain.

Goodbye.

And thank you for...

Watch your step.

Good morning, Blitzworth.

Oh, okay, good morning, Foster.

I hope you can stay to lunch, Ann.

We've got some boffin bloke coming down from the admiralty.

What times he do, Bill?

Well, the signal said AMs should be here any time now.

Oh, something to do with this creeper thing.

Who will not spurs know anything about that, Ann?

Stop secret.

Hold nonsense, David.

Everyone knows about it.

Beats me while they just don't sell the patent as

it stands and let it blow up someone else's ship.

Thank you, Blitzworth.

That'll be all.

Now, what's the trouble this time?

At Old Bell again?

I'm afraid so miss.

If only we could sell Blitzworth to some foreign bar.

I wish you wouldn't be so beastly to Blitzy.

Blitzy?

Why not?

Personally, apart from being an absolute genius, I think he's really rather a pet.

I shall seriously have to reconsider allowing you on board so often, Ann.

Oh, don't be so pompous, David.

Well, it's a question of undermining the captain's authority.

Come in.

Ready for rounds, huh?

All right, Spicer, thank you.

Another one, you better lock that up in the safe.

Hi, item.

You haven't said good morning to Billy yet.

Good morning, Billy.

Oh, not exactly passionate.

At 10.30 a.m.

in your captain's cabin.

Really, Lieutenant Commander Fan Show, what do you expect, the sailor's hornpipe?

Anyway, I've got work to do in Lieutenant Baker's cabin.

Work?

In Baker's cabin?

Oh, don't worry.

He's lent you to me for the make-up and wardrobe.

Watch it.

He's a bit of a wolf, you know.

Baker a wolf?

Well, that's a laugh coming from you.

Bye, Blitzy.

Come on, Bill.

That's it.

Damn fools.

What are you doing, Blissworth?

I'm mending your belt, Shirley.

I'm not a screwdriver all under the desk.

What's the creeper plan doing on my desk?

I thought I told you to lock it in the safe.

I'm sorry, sir.

Quite stiff, my mind.

Anyway, sir, you have the key.

Oh, yeah.

We can't have top-secret stuff like that,

knocking about the place for any downpour to read.

Although I suppose it's safe enough in this cabin.

Wonder what Phillips thought we were going to do with it.

Burn it?

I can smell burning.

Yes, sir.

I can smell it too.

Blissworth?

You've learned a few words.

What's the matter?

Blissworth, what's it?

I'm terribly sorry.

Where did you get that plan from?

On your desk.

And then what's that there?

I don't understand, sir.

It's all my fault.

Ah, better it is.

She'd have.

Creeper plan was open on your desk, sir.

I couldn't resist a quick glance at it.

Couldn't you?

Blissworth, I'll have you caught muscle for this.

David, I'm sure Blissworth has a very good explanation.

He'd better have.

Well?

Well, sir.

I spilled a glass, aren't you?

I'm not playing.

It's incredible, sir.

I was trying to dry it, sir.

It's the only copy we have.

I'll have you shot for this.

I must take full responsibility, sir.

I left it on the desk.

Then I'll have you shot, too.

What time does Philip's train leave for London?

I think he's catching the 10.30, sir.

Well, quick, the phone.

There's just a chance of catching for reliefs.

Well, the devil's wrong.

I haven't touched the telephone.

It's a dockyard electricians.

Shorelines being improved.

That means we'll be cut off for months.

Somehow we've got to stop Philip's and that plan getting to London.

Why don't you limb Blissworth your bicycle bill?

I left it at the foot of the gangway.

My bike.

Why not?

How do I know he can ride?

I mean, it's brand new.

I haven't paid all the installments yet.

Oh, don't be silly.

Anyone can ride a bicycle.

That doesn't mean to say Blissworth can.

Blissworth?

Mount the first Lieutenant's bicycle and proceed to the station at top speed.

All right, sir.

Stop, stop, come on to Phillips.

And prevent that pan leaving for London.

All right, sir.

Tell him it's one urgently here.

Aye, aye, sir.

Bring him back with you on the steppe, if necessary.

Aye, aye, sir.

We'll go on, man.

Poor Blissie.

Poor Blissie.

Poor me.

My

orders of today regarding the security.

Yes, sir?

Why haven't you asked to see my pass?

Well, sir.

You're the Abel, sir.

There are no other places here, you know I'm the admiral.

I could be an imposter, couldn't I, frags?

Easily, sir.

I'll carry on from here on foot, alone.

I want to miss nothing.

Now you're alone.

Where the radio do you think you'll go?

It's a matter of life and death.

Who's death, yours?

No, the captain of Marshapp, the Terrier.

I've got to get down the station at once.

Not without a pass, you won't?

I haven't got a pass.

Then you'll have to go back and get well, won't you?

But the train goes in two minutes.

And I'll have to leave without you, won't it?

I don't want to catch it.

That's all right, then, isn't it?

Well, what am I going to do?

Go back to your ship.

See your cocks and get a pass and come back here when you've got it.

Be too late, Bobby.

That's a bit of a hard luck.

Thank you very much.

And you?

He's 10.45.

Don't worry, David.

I'm sure Blissie'll do his best.

No, that's what I'm afraid of.

I do wish I wouldn't keep calling him Blissie.

What do you want?

From the officer's watch, sir.

The commander-in-chief is approaching.

A look's to becoming on board.

That's torn it.

Yes, all right, I'll be up in a minute.

What do we do if he wants to see the creeper plan?

It's not very likely, sir.

The Admiral understands even less about it than you do.

We do, is it?

I'd have to keep out of the way.

No, meet us in my cabin.

Perhaps the presence of the woman will take the Admiral's mind off the creeper.

Well, I like that.

I doubt if you will, actually.

If I find light-rating, I'll have him strung up to the nearest yard arm.

Blissie.

Rating, sir.

Yes, confounded murderer, a roady bicycle straight at me.

Knocked me for six.

Did you catch him, sir?

Catch him?

How the blazes could I catch him?

I must let him be back.

Oh, thank help.

Good help, sir.

Didn't even have time to see his captally to see what she became from.

But I'd remember his face anywhere.

Bloody idiotic expression he had.

And the bicycle, too.

Right, blew it was.

I'll have a check made on every single bicycle in the dockyard.

Tell the persons make to ditch that bike of yours over the side.

But he's brand new, sir.

That's an order.

What's that?

I was telling the first lieutenant to dismiss the side partisan.

Very good.

And if you can trace that idiot rating for me, I'll have his scalp.

Sir, when Blissie gets back, bring the plan straight down to me.

And whatever you do, keep this with undercover.

Six feet of earth, if necessary.

Aye, aye, sir.

Thank you, foster.

My sister and her, they come out, aren't you?

Well, sir, I'm prepared to go around delighted to meet you.

I've heard so much about you.

Delighted, my dear, delighted.

Here he comes, sir.

Oh, thank heavens.

What the devil's been keeping him?

Probably short-circuited himself.

What kept you blissful?

Where are the plans?

I couldn't get out of the dockyard, sir.

Why not?

Security.

What do you mean, security?

I hadn't got a pass, sir.

Had this man put in the cells right away, will you?

Aye, sir.

The cell, sir?

What for?

And don't let him out until I order you.

Yes, sir.

I'm going to join you as you told me to do, sir.

I got my arm, please.

I don't understand this.

You know just what you could do with the bicycle then, chief.

Thank you, sir.

Ditch it.

Oh, yes, sir.

Yes, well, I expect you two have got official

secrets to discuss, so I'll make myself skip.

Goodbye, my dear.

I hope to see you soon again.

Whatever you say, Admiral.

Foster, what time is this Admiralty scientist for the warriving?

Mr. Potter, sir, this morning.

Who would I want to see him as soon as he arrives?

I want him to run over this new modification for me.

New modification, of course, sir.

You have the plan, of course.

Yes, sir.

What exactly is the new modification?

Well, it's highly technical, sir.

It's, um...

The first lieutenant knows more about it than I do, sir.

Who?

Me, sir?

Yes, you.

I wouldn't say that exactly, sir.

Yes, you... You're just being modest, number one.

Is that the plan?

Yes, sir.

Well, let's have a little bit.

Aye.

Aye, aye, aye.

Hi, sir.

Mind you, I don't mind confessing to you that it's all Greek to me.

I'm just an old salt horse like yourself first.

But we've seen your officers have got to keep abreast of every new development, hm?

I can't understand how they make head or tail of these things.

Now, what's this bit here?

Do you know what that means, sir?

Yes.

Oh, that's, um... Oh, do you find something?

I need some.

They're that.

It's part of the... the homing mechanism.

I think.

I thought that was a bicycle.

No, sir.

Definitely part of the homing mechanism.

Not there, you're full there.

A bicycle, sir?

Yes, first of all, a bicycle.

I distinctly saw a bicycle pass that port hole a moment ago.

Which direction was it going, sir?

Downwards, you idiot.

Downwards into the harbor.

Was anybody on it, sir?

Of course not.

I'll check on that, sir.

Do that.

Right away, sir.

A bit of a fool, sir.

I'm sorry, sir.

Is there anybody on it?

Was this?

No.

Oh, there's no use in trying to decipher this.

I might as well wait for this scientist fella to do it properly.

Yes, sir.

Just don't want to appear behind the times with our lordships tomorrow.

Oh, of course not, sir.

You have two copies, of course.

No, sir.

Not until tonight.

You remember, Commander Phillips.

Oh, the American liaison officer?

Well, that means that, for the moment, this is the only copy?

Yes, sir.

I hope you're fully alive to the security implications.

Oh, rather, sir.

Yes, it's always locked up in my safe.

It wasn't locked in your safe when I came into the cabin.

No, sir.

That's because I took it out of the safe when I knew you were coming on board.

Foster, you can't be too careful with this top secret stuff.

Oh, of course not, sir.

Accidents can happen.

Indeed they can, sir.

Well, I've come aboard at 3 p.m.

shop.

See that that plan remains in your safe till then.

Ah, put it in straight away, sir.

When you can tell this fellow father to be ready for his run through at 3 o'clock.

Yes, sir.

Chief?

Yes, sir?

You can fish my bicycle out again now.

We'll have to grapple for a set, take a bit of time.

What do you want your bicycle for?

To ride in a civil street, sir.

I might as well resign from the service now before I'm caught marshaled.

All right, Chief, take some time.

Get on with it.

Isaac.

Oh, and Chief?

Yes, sir.

Let this for that of the cells, will you?

Isaac.

Well, there's no point in keeping him locked up,

sir, till the admiral gets back on board at 3.

Not a lot of point, anyway.

Might as well get arm with our colours nailed to the mast one.

The snag is, sir, the admiral won't be happy to be meets this wretched scientist.

If we could only think of some way of keeping them

apart, at least until we get the other plan back.

Heaven knows what time Phillips will return it, sir.

If you haven't been such a fool and shown in the plans of the refrigerator,

I'm awfully sorry, sir.

I was only trying to be helpful.

Oh, do shut up.

You sound like blissworth.

What are you saying then?

You already said that as no lady.

That is the end of my wife's reign of India.

Shh!

What's up, Wesley?

Must be somebody boiling up a kettle of curry?

On the clank.

What's going on?

It's a nice time.

Hey, what have you been up to?

Sabotage?

Sabotage?

It really looks healthy enough to me.

Ah, far from the madding crowd.

He's far from the madding crowd.

What's he do to get put in here?

I wish I knew you might, but do it all over again.

In a break?

You've been eating broken dirits on the ship?

No wonder the British Navy is going down the pan.

I'd enjoy it more if you were not on the moon, right?

Come on, aunt.

They decided not to shoot you after all.

Oh, really?

First privacy I've had on board, this ship I knew was too good to last.

What about that droid on the wall?

Well, if you like it, chief pilot will frame and you can have it.

Rarely comical.

Clean it off.

Thank you, Bill.

Sir, thank you, Bill.

Well, cheer up.

They can't shoot you.

I almost wish they would.

I'd take it down, you'll prepare to support your brother and his premature retirement.

Good lord, it's working.

The dockyard electricians must be on strike, sir.

It's all right, I'll take it, sir.

Hello.

Yes, speaking.

The Admiralty.

Mm-hmm, go ahead.

Is that all?

Yeah, thanks.

Goodbye.

A reprieve.

Hive a temporary.

Pot has been held up in Tanza, and won't be arriving till some time this evening.

How was that help us?

Well, sir, it gives us a sporting chance of

getting Philips' plan back before he arrives.

An unsporting chance of I know, Philips.

He had that London lear on his face when he left.

He had catch a very last train back from Tan.

I'll bet you a fiber.

Well, couldn't you keep the Admiral and Pot are apart until the plan arrives?

I'll come with you, old boy, straining of the leash.

He's only waiting for this run through, and he can't wait to get off to Tan himself.

You'll probably wait on board until Pot arrives.

Even if you get the real plan, the Admiral's bound to recognize the

difference between it and the refrigeration plan.

Even I can do that.

He looks as though we're sunk off to all then.

Not necessarily.

How'd you mean?

I've got an idea.

Now, just tell me that I've got the facts right.

The Admiral will be coming on board at three o'clock.

Yes.

And he'll expect a scientist to run over the creeper plan which you haven't got.

Yes.

Yes.

But you have got a scientist.

Yeah.

Who?

Blissworth.

Blissworth.

Blissworth.

Well, don't you see he is a scientist.

He knows more about electronics than all of you put together.

She's right, you know, sir.

Blissworth, he'd never do it.

Yes, he could, sir.

He knows all the technical pattern.

All we need is for somebody to... to blind the Admiral with science.

Well, Blissworth were boring with science.

Well, so much the better.

The sooner the Admiral is satisfied, the sooner he'll drop the whole idea.

Absolutely true, sir.

Now, you know, if I agreed with the old criminal

plan, and how should we talk Blissworth into doing it?

You could recommend him for a transfer to the electrical branch, sir.

You've forgotten one small thing.

What's that?

Blissworth, the demon cyclist.

Once the Admiral claps eyes on him, he'll recognize him.

Well, then we'll have to disguise him.

Now, I've got a splendid wig in the stuff of the flotilla concert.

Blissworth, he'd never do it.

You leave it to me, I'll fix him.

What have you got to lose, sir?

Only a ship, a pension, and a good name.

It's your only chance, David.

Send for Blissworth.

Hi, Isaac.

It looks good, but it's Captain Wattble.

But, sir, I could never take part in such an immoral deception, sir.

You're not only good, but will, and that Blissworth is an order.

Supposing I refuse.

Sir, that would be mutiny.

Mutiny, sir.

For that, you could be shot.

Then you'll be handed over to the Admiral, and he's after you're blood anywhere.

Unless another thing, sir.

I've already bumped into the Admiral once.

I'll say you have, on my back, too.

Now, don't worry about that, Blissie.

For the time I've finished with you, your own mother wouldn't recognize you.

Any change?

A bit of the better.

I'll pick your pardon, sir.

Yeah, I said, think of your change to the electrical branch.

I'll have your word for it, then, sir, that I will be transferred.

Oh, I swear it, Blissworth.

I swear it.

It will be a pleasure to recommend you.

Please, Blissie.

For my sake.

Very well, sir.

I'll do it, sir.

I knew you wouldn't let us down.

I'm only doing it for Miss Fosterson.

Blissie, you are an angel.

This is where I take over.

Come on, Blissie.

England expects.

What England expects?

What England gets?

And two entirely different things, Eiser.

Monday?

Afternoon, Miss.

I wonder if I'd have a word with you in private.

Any time is same, Miss.

It's about my brother's hair.

Your brother's hair.

Yes, have you seen it lately?

No, but I'll keep a sharp look out for it.

No, the fact is, he's in the first ages of creeping alopecia.

Everything's creeping on this ship, Miss.

Well, you see, it's a nervous affliction.

And naturally, the more he worries about it, the worse it gets.

And he's extremely sensitive about it.

Oh, well, I can understand that.

Well, you have such a wonderful beard.

I wonder if you might, as it were, let him have a transfusion.

I reckon I can spare a bit, Miss.

The colour just matches.

Oh!

All right, go on.

I won't do it again.

Hold on, Samson.

Well, I hope I don't lose my strength, Miss.

Thanks a lot, Monday.

And remember, not a word to anyone.

Trust me, Delilah.

All right.

Take a step.

Looks wonderful.

There you are.

There you are, now, what do you think of it?

Come on now.

Let's try it out on them.

Holy Moses.

No, sir.

It's me, Blissworth.

There you are, Blissie.

What did I tell you?

Well, what do you think of him?

It's amazing.

Oh, that's guess to recognise him.

Your face is burned deep in my memory.

Oh, sir, please.

Now, David.

That's right, sir.

You never... We've got a grin of bear it.

How are you feeling, Miss?

Terrible, sir.

Okay.

Blissworth, drink that.

No, sir.

No, sir.

Go, sir.

I... I don't drink, sir.

Well, I'm sure positors like a fish.

I've gone down with it, Blissworth.

Well, it's an order.

Hi, sir.

What is it?

The Commander-in-Chief's car is coming along the jetty, sir.

Right, thank you, Clark.

The admins are riding, sir.

Here we go.

And you better lie low in my sleeping cabin.

I will with my ear to the keyhole.

And keep it short, Blissworth.

Blissworth, hi, I, sir.

And heaven help us if you fail.

I should do my very best.

You better.

Sir, thank you.

Come on, Blissworth.

You can do it.

Have another scotch.

A scotch.

Hi, I, sir.

Just a wee dropy.

That's it.

That's the answer, Blissworth.

You scotch accent.

Of course.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you, Miss Foster.

Blissworth, look.

You better make your entrance in the bathroom.

It'll look less formal and prepared.

Don't you think?

Aye, aye, sir.

What's been at the middle bit, then, Chief?

The Moss, sir.

Well, lose what's left of it.

It happened in the line of duty.

Who's it, Chief?

Aye, aye, sir.

Good afternoon, Foster.

Good afternoon, sir.

That's this Potter fellow alive, doll, right?

Yes, sir.

He's blowing my cabin.

Good.

Tell the men to carry on with their duties.

Aye, aye, sir.

Aye, sir.

All right.

What did you use, Chief?

A lawnmower?

Very humorous.

I hope he gets barnacles on his bicycle.

Any luck?

Now, I thought I'd got it that time.

We haven't had a bike all day.

Where is he, Foster?

Six-torn to say he was here a moment ago.

I think he's in the bathroom, sir.

Well, thank heaven for that.

One of the clean variety.

You know some of these scientists don't bother to wash?

Mr. Potter?

Mr. Potter?

The animals here?

Ah, there you are, Mr. Potter.

I'm sorry to keep you waiting, sir.

But I was caught with my trousers down.

I speak metaphorically, of course.

Of course.

Yes, well, this is Mr... Well, I just told you, Mr. Potter.

And this is the Commander-in-Chief Admiral...

...the Sahampre Pettigrew.

Delighted to meet you, sir.

How did you do, Mr. Potter?

Haven't we met somewhere before?

No, no, no, no.

I didn't think so, sir.

Face seems familiar.

Well, of course.

It's not entirely unknown in scientific circles, sir.

I don't move in scientific circles.

Well, of course.

You'd be a bit giddy if you did.

I expect you'll like to get down to business straight away, wouldn't you?

Yes, I would.

Where's the plan?

Oh, in the safe, sir.

I hope so.

It wasn't there the last time I came on board.

Really, sir?

Flags, you better wait for me in the wardrobe.

Aye, sir.

Well, now, Mr. Potter.

I hope you would be able to explain this modification to me.

Here we are, sir.

Good.

Oh, there we are now, of course.

Well, now, sir.

I'll take it to cheer familiar with the general principle of the mechanism.

Oh, yes, of course.

Well, I mean, I'm just the usual layman's knowledge of the thing.

I've studied the drawings, naturally.

But I want to master the main facts about the new modification.

Of course, of course, of course.

Well, now, sir, the principles of this weapon

come under three main headings, you see.

There's magnetism, there's no dynamism, a photosensitivity.

I'll deal with acoustic performance later.

I'm going too fast for you.

Right now, here we are.

I take it as you can all about the magnetic fields, sir.

Magnetic fields?

Aye, the degosing fields.

Damn it, man.

I must sail another farmer.

Oh, very well.

I'll put you down into one simple work.

Good.

Yes.

Magnetic acoustic neutralization, sir.

Surely that's more than one word.

Well, there's two hyphoms.

Two hyphoms.

Oh, yes, I see.

Grand, grandson.

We'll make a scientist of you, yes, sir.

Here.

Well, no, our problem is, sir.

I think I got it, chief.

Give us a hand, will you?

Take it nice and gentle.

We don't want to lose it.

Hooray, and up, Shirazi.

Hooray, and up, Shirazi.

Hooray, and up, Shirazi.

Good morning.

But the acoustic hormone mechanism must remain neutralized.

Well, the torpedoes within acoustic magnetic field range of the fire and ship.

You all right, Foster?

Yes, sir.

Perfectly all right.

Of course.

Something wrong?

No, nothing, sir.

Just a little tooth troubles her, sir.

It's fine now.

I'm sorry.

Can you please?

Hooray, and up, Shirazi.

Hooray, and up, Shirazi.

Hooray, and up, Shirazi.

We could meet the probability computer.

There it is again.

What, sir?

That bicycle I saw it distinctly.

Bicycle, sir?

Yes, Foster, a bicycle, growing in a downward direction like the moon this morning.

But the same bicycle can't go down twice, sir.

No, that's right, sir.

It can't.

I tell you, I saw it.

It's fair to show a pop-up on the deck and see

if there's anyone slinging bicycles overboard.

But it'll turn to stop it.

Right away, sir.

Tomorrow, I'll have a naval fragment down to search the waters around your stern.

If I find a bicycle, and that bicycle happens to be a bright blue one...

I'll have an identification parade of every single waiting in your ship,

Captain Foster.

I understand, sir.

I'm sorry, Mr. Potter, shall we continue?

It's quite all right, sir.

I'm sure that a naval bicycle is far more important than the torpedo.

Gee, gee.

And now, sir, I'm free.

We come to the crux of the modification here.

Yes.

You can, what's it is?

Yes, it's the...

It's the icebox.

The icebox?

It's the icebox.

It's just a pet name for it, is it?

Yes, sir.

We have an old department.

Of course, there's no icebox at all.

Just something to look like an icebox.

It's just all that, isn't it?

Of course, yes, sir.

Of course, what it is, really, is a honeycomb of wee buttery-story cells.

It still looks like the ice train in a refrigerator, isn't it?

Exactly, exactly.

And that's the reason for our pet name for it.

That's all that is to it, and I've got any questions.

No, no, no, no.

It's a toll.

You made everything perfectly clear.

I congratulate you.

I know, sir.

I'm proud to congratulate you.

It's very rare to find a senior officer with such a perfect grasp of technical

detail, far beyond the ordinary scope of his everyday activities.

Well, you know how it is, Potter old boy.

We must master every phase of naval warfare, sort of jack-of-all-trade,

master of none.

Grand, grand, grand.

Yeah, well... Foster, can I have a word with you, please?

No, of course, sir.

There's something funny about this chip.

Oh, Potter?

Don't you notice anything?

No, sir.

It's all on age.

Oh, he's highly strong, I expect, so you know, these boffin laws are a bit eccentric.

Between you and me, I think the fellow is drunk.

Drunk?

Yes, tightest and narrow.

His breath ricks of whiskey.

Whiskey, good, hemser.

Whiskey, midday.

Filthy American habit.

Never trust a midday whiskey drinker.

I wouldn't say I'm a gin man, myself.

Me too, you better watch him, Foster.

Oh, leave him to me, sir.

I'll be with him when he makes the modification tomorrow.

Do that.

And while you're about to lock up your whiskey,

I don't want any more accidents in the trials.

No fear, sir.

Well, Mr. Potter, I'll leave you in peace now.

Oh, already, sir.

I'm afraid so.

I'd like to stay, but I have a heavy day of meetings all tomorrow in town.

What a pity.

And I was so much enjoying our little chat, sir.

Perhaps we can meet the day after tomorrow?

No, sir.

No, no, no.

Unfortunately, you see, I should be working on the modification tomorrow.

And the number we didn't bother for the scientific congress, you see.

Well, business before pleasure.

Goodbye, Mr. Potter.

And goodbye to you, sir.

You know, I have a definite feeling that somewhere before I run into you.

Quite the contrary.

Would you say?

Oh, I said, don't you.

It might have been in the country.

A country?

Hey, the country.

As opposed to the tone of the seasate.

I see.

Listen, you were wonderful.

A triumph, I'm so proud of you.

Up.

Look out, she, there comes trouble.

Now what?

Chief, bring my bike up again, will you?

Why can't he make up his mind whether he wants that?

Bike or not?

Come on, get grappling.

Well, thanks.

It's been an exhausting day.

I'm going to my office to sort out things for tomorrow.

I, sir, I'll go through the latest batch of

signals and correspondence with the secretary.

Very good, and don't disturb me unless it's something of real importance.

I see.

Amrihaz, come on in chief secretary speaking.

I want to speak to the commander in chief.

This is Miss Agatha Potter speaking.

Miss Agatha Potter?

Research department, torpedo and mining, is?

My car's broken down.

I've managed to hire a taxi of sorts.

I'll be there late sometime this afternoon.

I'll go direct to the dockyard and report to the captain, destroyers.

Miss Pond, I didn't quite understand.

Take over the pips.

I'm sorry, I have no more change.

I'll have to ring off.

Hello?

Hello?

Very good, ma'am.

Be careful!

Hello, fags.

Hello, sir.

Huggers, the wild goose chase.

Wild goose chase?

Yes, perhaps I should say the wild potter chase.

Oh, him.

He's not a bad little man for a boffin.

What do you mean him?

Potter, the boffin.

But Potter's not a him.

She's a woman.

Miss Agatha Potter.

How earth are you talking about, sir?

She's just telephone to me.

She said she had a breakdown.

Do you respect, sir?

I think it's you who's having the breakdown.

We've just left Potter, on board the terrier.

Get me Admiralty at once.

torpedo and mining department.

Priority.

Admiral sir.

How damn it, fags.

I told you not to disturb me.

I'm sorry, sir.

It's very important.

Oh, blazer's Kate.

Great heavens!

That man is an imposter.

I knew there was something fishy about it in the moment.

I clapped my eyes on him.

Get me Captain Foster on the phone at once.

Hi, sir.

Hello, yes?

Captain Foster.

I just a minute, will you?

A flag lieutenant for Navalny House.

The Admiral, for you, sir.

Hello?

Oh, hello, sir.

Foster here.

Is that fellow Potter there?

I'm sorry, sir.

I didn't quite catch all of that.

I asked if Potter is still with you.

Potter, sir?

Yes, Potter.

Well, he's not actually with me at this moment, sir, but

I can soon get hold of him if you'd like a word with him.

Asking for Potter.

Find Potter in the rest of him at once.

A rest, Potter?

Yes, he's an imposter.

Potter, an imposter?

Yes, Foster, an imposter.

Oh, but that's imposterable, sir.

What's imposterable, Foster?

Well, sir, I mean, imposterable, all that Potter should be an imposter,

a poster, sir.

Look, this is an order.

Find your Potter and arrest him.

Potter?

He's a woman.

A woman, sir.

I think you're wrong, sir.

With respect, he's most definitely a man.

That man is not Potter.

He's a spy trying to steal the plans.

The real Potter's name is Agatha.

And she's not due aboard till this afternoon.

I checked with the advocacy.

Yes, sir.

Agatha, good gracious.

I've sent the first lieutenant to arrest Potter, sir.

Arrest him, sir?

Right, sir.

Right away, sir.

Has the man got the plan?

No, sir.

It's safe in my safe.

Excellent, Foster, excellent.

Ah, here's the first lieutenant back again, sir.

But I haven't been away, sir.

No, what you were supposed to be in.

You told me not to go.

It's because I didn't want you to.

I don't quite understand, sir.

Oh, good.

Leave it that way.

No signs of Potter, I'm afraid, sir.

No, he must have smelt a rat, sir, and he's made a run for it.

I order a general alert.

I have every inch of the dockyard search.

Get the hell out of here.

Well, I think he'll be clear of the dockyard by now, so he's had ample time.

At least he hasn't got the plan.

Oh, no, sir.

He was never alone with it, either.

No possibility of him having photographed it.

None whatsoever, sir.

Excellent, Foster.

Now, listen carefully.

Miss Potter has been instructed to report direct to you.

The moment she comes on board you to telephone me.

I have sent my car down to collect her.

Give her the plans.

And she'll bring them up to me to discuss.

Give her the plans, sir.

I'd like to do that, sir.

I mean, security.

No, that's not a thing.

What the blazes can go wrong.

She's not a spy.

My driver's a wrench.

She's all right.

I mean, she's safe.

Oh, well, you shouldn't... If you say so, sir.

It's an order, Foster.

Hi, I, sir.

I'll telephone you the instant Miss Potter comes on board.

Give me my sword, Bill.

I'm about to commit harder, Kiri.

Yes, sir.

Oh, don't be silly, Bill.

There must be something we can do.

When's Miss Potter to you?

Your guess is as good as mine.

She might be here at any moment.

And Commander Phillips?

Oh, wish we knew.

So, in fact, we're back where we were this morning.

Oh, Anne, what are you suggesting?

Well, you've got to prevent the admiral and Miss Potter from meeting.

Yes.

And keep Miss Potter away from the refrigerator plan.

Yes.

Well, what are you both worrying about?

We've done it once.

We can do it again.

Oh, no.

I am not blissful again, please.

He could hardly pass us a woman.

He hardly passes us a man.

Oh, no, that's unfair, Bill.

Now, look, I've got a wonderful wig in the makeup

things and I can easily borrow some clothes for him.

Now, just picture blissful.

There's a female scientist now.

Well, how many female scientists do you know?

None.

Well, there you are.

And I bet the admiral doesn't either.

And at least bliss is a scientist.

Yes, but hardly a female scientist.

Spacing the real Miss Potter turns up in blissfuls at Admiralty House.

Well, then she comes straight here.

Then we could keep her engaged, sir, until Philips gets back with the plan.

There you are, David.

It's perfect.

Don't you agree, Bill?

Well, it's our only chance, sir.

If it comes off, we're saved.

If it doesn't, we'll sound good anyway.

All right.

Send for bliss with... Hi, Isaac.

Don't ring for him.

Send for him.

Oh, I... I'm all the wrong shape for a woman, sir.

You'll be stuffed.

Padded.

Where'd he end?

Oh, don't worry.

For the time I'm through with him, he'll look quite something.

Well, don't make him too, sir, Dr. Van.

Remember the Admiral.

Well, we can let him wear a pair of glasses.

Oh, what about the voice?

Good, him's blissfuls.

That's the least of your troubles, man.

Just put it up a turn, you know?

No.

Yes.

No.

Delighted to meet you, sir.

Oh, that's no good, sir.

I'm a ton, I said, blissfuls.

Not up the crow's nest.

You're a contralter, not a cholera cure, a soprano.

Yeah.

Delighted to meet you, sir, Humphrey Pettigrew.

That's wonderful, blissy.

Keep it like that, and you'll just sail through.

What about the clothes?

Oh, give me half an hour to deal with that.

Come on, blissy.

And a lot of time.

I know.

If the real agatha potter turns out before blissfuls ready, sir, what do we do?

Live on our pensions, will you?

It's all right for some people, sir.

Well, the wig fits as though it were made for you.

Oh, I feel so terrible for you.

Oh, nonsense.

You look fine.

Now for the hat.

Oh, sorry.

Now, if you take your hat off, remember to keep your hair on.

Oh, I look like my auntie Bessie.

Oh, and do you think I can get away with it?

Of course you can.

It's only your confidence in me that makes me go through with it.

Bless you, Bessie.

And, of course, your brother.

I'd hate to see him disgraced.

That's very sweet of you.

And again, there's Lieutenant Kamada fan sure.

Well, don't tell me you're doing it for him, too.

Well, you and him.

What are you driving at?

Well, you know what I mean.

You're in the number one.

What about us?

Let's come and talk on the mistakes.

What is?

It's your keen on each other.

What a lot of old women you sailors are.

What is true?

It's absolute rubbish.

Oh, no, he's keen on you.

Oh, that's his maybe, but it takes two, you know, Bessie.

Where'd you keep coming aboard so often?

Well, so what I may be coming aboard to see... somebody else?

Not me.

Of course, you idiot.

Come on.

Come in, darling.

Have that this way.

There we are.

Meet Miss Agatha Potter.

It's tremendous, isn't it?

Oh, congratulations, I am.

Oh, and Bessie.

Any detail we've overlooked?

Yes, I should have something to carry the plane in, sir.

Oh, I've got a briefcase in my cabin.

Shall I fetch it for the lady, sir?

Yes, do that thing, number one, please.

That is, Bessie.

Well, I'll find the admiral.

Now, mind how you go with the old boy.

Old boy?

The admiral.

He's got an eye for the women.

Well, best of luck, Bessie.

Thank you, sir, I need it.

Have you got your plans, sir?

Yes, sir, here, sir.

Make any excuse, you like, but get it back here as soon as you can.

Yes, sir.

I'll do my best.

Where the hell did he dig up that old boyla?

Thank you, Miss Potter.

That's right, miss.

I'm the admiral's flag lieutenant.

Charby, how nice of you to come and meet me.

Matter of security.

Security?

It's these.

We don't want anyone to get hold of them, do we?

Shall I take charge of them?

No, no.

Captain Foster said I wasn't too little more to my keeping.

I can see that you and the admiral are going to get along famously.

Uff!

Lobster fatigue.

Oh, Blimey, here we go again.

Hey, Chief.

What the devil do you think you're doing?

This isn't a game, you know.

Bring it up again.

Ah!

My lobster, I think.

Give that to the captain's cook.

We'll have that for tea.

Good evening, Sergeant.

Good evening, sir.

This lady with me is Miss Potter from the admiral's tea.

I dare say you saw her when she came in.

No, sir, only came and watched a few minutes ago.

Oh, I see.

Well, Miss Potter's coming with me to Admiralty House.

Will you see she's given every facility during the present alert?

My eyes.

Miss Potter, sir.

Ah, Miss Potter.

What do you mean, Miss Potter?

Good evening, Edmund.

Something wrong?

Not at all.

I must apologize.

You see, you were not quite what I was expecting.

No.

And no.

I'll explain later.

Do sit down.

I suppose you thought that all the lady buffins were just female dragons.

Well, I certainly never expected anyone half as attractive, if I may say so.

That's all right, Flags.

I look after Miss Potter.

Hi, sir.

Have you the creeper planned with you?

I mean, the acoustic torpedo mark, too.

Yes.

Here.

Captain Foster, tell you about the flap we had this morning.

Oh, yes.

Terrible.

Yes, because I saw through the fellow in a flash.

One of those faces you don't easily forget.

Really?

Mad, staring eyes, fanatical, you know.

But he won't get far.

Am I five have been worn?

Red security alert all over the command.

Duck yard, clam tight.

I wouldn't like to be in his shoes.

He'll be shot at sight if he makes a run for it.

Shot at sight?

Might that be a little dangerous.

Damn it, madam, the man is a spy.

Not in uniform.

When you put on a disguise, you become a spy.

Deserve to be shot on sight.

Oh.

But never mind, Miss Potter, cheer up.

Don't worry, your pretty little head about that spy.

The plan is in safe hands.

Oh, yes.

May I press you to a drink?

You've had a tiring day.

You're telling me.

I mean, you're asking me.

Well, I don't touch anything as a rule, but... If you are indulging yourself.

What's your poison?

Well, whiskey, please.

Whiskey?

No, not whiskey.

Gin.

No, that's better.

Gin, the navy drink.

Oh, really?

I always thought it was rum.

Rum for the ratings.

Gin in the wardrobe.

Oh, I see.

It reminds me, Miss Potter.

Have you any naval connections?

Naval...

Oh, no, I don't think I have any.

Not that I know of.

You aren't one of the poor Smoth Potters.

Oh, no.

Are the Plymouth Potters?

No, no.

I'm one of the Palpero Potters.

Come on, well.

Hmm.

You see, when I heard that you were a woman, I had hoped...

...you might be the daughter of my old friend Admiral Salumbly Potter.

We were in the China station as Lieutenant Commanders years ago, of course.

Oh, of course.

His daughter was born out there.

And if memory serves me, she was christened Agatha.

Agatha?

What a coincidence.

Yes, wasn't it?

Mind you, we always refer to her as the Yangtze accident.

Yarr for short.

Yarr?

Yes, Yarr.

Mind you, when she grew up a bit, she'd retaliated by calling me Humpers.

Humpers?

Uncle Humpers.

Very quaint.

Yes, she was, rather.

Miss

Madam, what can we do for you?

I miss Potter from the Admiralty.

Oh, so you're Miss Potter, I am.

I have orders to report at once to Captain Foster, HMS Terrier.

Yes, we know all about that.

We've been expecting you.

Oh, good.

All right, lad, take him.

The meeting hall.

Let's meet him.

Let's meet him.

Come on, let's meet him.

I'm going to hang out!

Don't be sick, all right, lad?

Don't kill him.

I'll have a fair trial.

What are you talking about?

And why'd you keep returning to me as him?

What?

Fancy him, dressed as a woman, and thinking he could fool me.

There you are, my dear.

Do you mind if I call you Agatha?

Please do.

Humpers.

Hmm.

That's better, my dear.

Isn't it a little early for that?

Well, I mean, the knights aren't drawing in that quickly, are they?

Well, we poor Bachelors have to make our lonely nests as cozy as we can.

You have no idea, Agatha, how we miss the gentle female touch.

Well, this is one gentle female you mustn't touch.

We'll know.

Orton Twitter commends.

Any time you say.

I mean to work.

Oh, all in good time, Agatha.

But I have the plans.

So how am I, my dear?

Delightful plans for a little Tata Tate.

Quiet dinner for truth, and you and I can spread ourselves over your plans.

And put our heads together.

Oh, damn it, flags must you come barging in.

This is important, sir.

They've caught him.

Caught who?

The Spicer.

Good work, flags.

There you are, Miss Potter.

We can all breathe again.

Where is he?

In the garden, sir.

He was trying to get into the dockyard disguised as a woman.

As a woman?

How ingenious.

Must have planned it all to the minutest detail.

Oh, he tried to brazen it out, sir.

Said he was Miss Potter from the admiralty.

But the security police were on the boss, sir.

By God, that fella has a nerve.

Yes.

And there you are, a proof positive of my identity.

Come in forge is every single one of them.

All right, nubby, shut these in the fire.

If you're not satisfied with my documents, I can

prove my identity by the means of one telephone call.

Oh, yes.

A personal call to the commander in chief.

It's a healthy pet grue and I have known each other for years.

Well, I knew the old man got around a bit,

but I should hardly thought you was his type.

If you let me say one word, on the telephone, to the admiral personally,

that's all I ask.

Just one word.

Well, I don't see any army there.

Nubby, get a line on the way, everybody else.

We'll give it a go.

But mind you, if you're bluffing, it's the end of the long road for you, mate.

Everybody else, give it a flag lift, don't.

Hello, sir.

Don't get my engaged here, sir.

Well of all, the cheek.

No, the admiral's engaged with this potter now.

Well, can't you up-champ wait until tomorrow?

The admiral will see him then.

Oh, I see.

All right, hang on.

I'll see what I can do.

Well, if you insist, Agatha, business for us, pleasure later.

Have you got the plan?

Who did it?

I need mid-classes for this.

Come in.

What is it, flags?

Call from the police, main gate, sir.

Don't tell me the fellow was escaped.

Oh, no, sir.

You know nothing.

It surprised me in this damn place.

But I have some efficiency here before I leave.

The spy would like a personal word with you on the telephone, sir.

With me?

He says he knows you.

Oh, he does.

But he's a cool customer.

I almost admire the fellow.

The call's in the secretary's office, sir.

Right, I'll take it from there.

Hi, I, sir.

Sorry to leave you, Agatha.

Oh, don't worry about me, please.

But I'll be straight back.

And then we can really get down to things.

Hi, I, sir.

Miss Butter, yes, I'll enjoy between now, sir.

Hello, is that you, Humphaz?

What did you say?

I said, is that Humphaz?

Yeah, in Sultan language, the commander in chief.

Hello, sir.

Who the blazers is that?

Well, get off the line and put Miss Butter on.

Yes, you damn fool.

Miss Butter.

You have the real Miss Butter there.

Hello, Humphaz.

Hello, Agatha.

Is that you, my little Yaw?

This is your Uncle Humphaz.

Now, hang on down there.

I'll pick you up in a few minutes.

What's going on around here?

Donation, I'll have somebody's hide for this.

Good evening, ma'am.

Are you in trouble?

It's very kind of you.

I'm quite all right.

Thank you.

Are you running away from somebody?

It's very kind of you to stop.

I was just accosted by a drunken sailor.

It gave me quite a turn.

Well, ma'am.

I'm a sailor, but a sober one.

If you'd give me the privilege, I'd be delighted to escort you home.

That's very kind of you, but I have to... Oh, there's just one thing.

I've got an urgent call to make it.

One of the ships in the dockyard.

Oh, that's very kind of you.

Thank you.

You're American, aren't you?

Yes, ma'am.

Attached to the British Navy.

Aren't we all?

Especially when there's sober.

Now, we're coming up to the dockyard gates.

Do you think they'll let me through?

As long as I can vouch for you, I'll explain to you my guest and you're

believing the dockyard again with me in a few minutes.

This is all very exciting for me.

Oh, and I'd better know your name, too.

They might want to make a note of that.

Potter.

Mrs. Oh, miss.

Miss... Miss Agatha, Potter.

Just you leave everything to me, Miss Potter.

I'm now on you have an American naval escort.

Good evening, Sim.

Good evening.

I'm Commander Phillips, U.S.

Navy.

How are you, your dockyard passer?

No, but I have my identity, babies.

May I say please, sir?

I'm afraid I shall have to tell you to step

into the guard room, sir, and sign the book.

Well, really?

I'm sorry, sir.

It's the Admiral's orders.

There's a bit of a scare on.

Oh, very well, then.

I apologize for the delay.

British routine, you know.

Yes, well, this all seems an order, sir.

Thank you.

I'll only be aboard the Terrier for a minute, and then I'll be right back again.

It's a passenger in the car.

I understand you have a passenger in your car, sir.

Yes, it's a lady guest, a personal friend of mine.

Well, has she got a dockyard passer?

No, I'm sure she hasn't.

Well, I shall have to enter a name in the book, sir.

If you say so, she's a Miss Potter.

What?

Miss Potter?

Yes, Miss Agatha Potter.

Hold him, it's the spy!

Hold up!

Copy.

Did you see her?

See you?

The woman in the car.

How did you get out of the car?

Close the main gate to me, still being the dockyard.

Oh, that's useless.

She's still got the plans on her.

That's the last place you'll be.

Watch it, devil!

Humpers, you haven't changed one little bit.

Neither have you.

Can I help you, madam?

Thank you.

Captain Foster is expecting me.

He's on the mess, take.

I'll take you straight down to his cabin.

Thank you, my man.

Well, it looks as though she's got away with a copy of the creeper.

It's all my fault.

I shouldn't have ordered Captain Foster to entrust her.

We should inform the Admiralty at once.

I'll do that straight away from Foster's ship.

We'll have a council of all aboard.

We'll come to my car, Agatha.

Right, Humpers.

Erphillix, you follow with your copy of the drawings.

Right, very high, Admiral.

To Mandalay, where the flying species play.

Where the dawn comes up like thunder.

I wish I were on the road to Mandalay at this moment.

Yeah, for me, too.

In fact, anywhere but here.

There's a lady, sir.

A lady?

Oh, for me.

Oh, thank you.

But this time, sir.

What do you mean, Monday?

Well, she's not really your daughter.

I used to tell a lady in the Lucius' centre of words, sir.

She says the captain is expecting her.

I'll say he is.

It's a lady to see you, sir.

By the way, chief.

Yes, sir.

I'd be obliged if you could forget that this lady ever came on board.

Certainly, sir.

Quite understands it.

How's it creeping out a bit, sir?

I'm watching.

You know, only, yeah.

No, you're talking about, man.

Just another one of my little secrets.

He matters a hitter, Monday.

Cracked as a tea-bonser.

Mission accomplished, sir.

Well done, Bessuth.

Captain Fossilovard.

Yes, sir.

Is he expecting you?

No, he is not.

I've surprised him.

Touch and go, eh?

I'll say it, Wilson.

Quick, there's someone coming.

This way.

Good evening, Foster.

Good evening, sir.

I have some very serious news for you.

This is Miss Agatha Potter.

Mr. Potter?

Good heavens.

Exactly.

Well, then, sir, who?

She's a spy.

And she's got clean away with your copy of the acoustic torpedo.

And, no, sir, she hasn't.

I'll ring the admiralty at once and explain.

What did you say?

I said, no, sir.

She hasn't.

I was not entirely satisfied, sir, with the way Miss Potter was behaving.

I mean, due of my suspicions, I was most reluctant to give her a copy of the plan.

Yes, I remember.

Yes.

Number one, please, sir.

Of course.

Oh, sir, and due of your order, I gave her another plan.

The real plan has been under lock and key in my safe the whole time, sir.

Excellent, Foster.

Excellent.

Oh, this is it, all right.

The genuine article.

And what did the spy get away with?

The wiring diagram served the ship's refrigerator room.

The wiring diagram of the ship's refrigerator?

I never had any so funny in my life.

Oh, really, sir?

Can you imagine anybody falling for that?

Oh, Foster, I have yet decorated for this.

Oh, I only did my duties, aren't I?

Oh, it's you.

Is there anything wrong there?

Well, I heard female laughter.

Female laughter?

From behind that door.

My sleeping cabin?

Let's see about this.

Miss Foster.

Oh, but evenings are having for you.

You really must forgive me for eavesdropping, but it was so terribly funny.

What?

Oh, oh, yes, I've got it.

Wasn't it?

Do come and join us.

That Miss Potter, this is Captain Foster's sister.

Oh, how do you do, Miss Potter?

How do you do, Miss Foster?

Commander Phillips?

Oh, hello, Commander.

I had the pleasure of meeting Miss Foster this morning.

Well, you mustn't let me disturb you, Sir Humphrey.

I'm sure you've all got a lot of work to do.

The best way you can help is in our work, my dearest, to give us all the drink.

Oh, do forgive me, sir.

Not that to me, David, you just carry on.

Even if I do hear what you say, it'll all be greaked to me.

You have your coffee of the plan.

Oh, yes, sir.

Well, I'm sure you're as wise Miss Potter explains the modification.

The modifications?

Yes, so do you think perhaps it might be a good idea if you shared with Miss Potter?

Then, number one, and I could look over Commander Phillips, is it?

Might make it easier for you to follow?

Oh, very good.

One word, I'll have you caught Marshall from neglect of duty.

He means it.

You know, Foster, the one thing to make my day complete would be to lay hands on that

lunatic rating that ran me over this morning.

Oh, really, sir?

Yes.

I'd recognize him at once if I saw him again.

Oh, really, sir?

I'm tidy, looking fellow.

Misurable face.

Mad, staring eyes.

Big, gaping mouth.

About five feet, nothing.

How am I supposed to?

On your quad, ready?

I beg your pardon, my dear.

Now, about this deguzing coil.

Yes, the icebox.

Icebox?

Oh, it does look rather like one, doesn't it?

However, it's the inherent magnetism of the

deguzing coil that's caused all the trouble, so far.

I only hope we've mastered it this time.

Excuse me, I beg your pardon, madam.

But it is not the deguzing coil at all.

It's the differential coefficient.

This is it.

Prepare to abandon ship.

What did you say, young man?

I said it, sir.

Not the deguzing coil at all, madam.

But this is even my bursting in lightness.

Foster, who is this fella?

Who else?

He says... Just a minute.

I know you.

You're the blasted roadhog that ran me over this morning.

Name, name, name.

Bless with, bless with, bless with, sir.

But you're on the rest.

Number one.

Send for the coxen.

Hi, Isaac.

Just a minute.

Just a minute.

Agatha, this is naval business.

It also happens to be my business.

The man's got something.

I don't know why we didn't think of it before.

Now, I was at who was saying about the deguzing coil.

Well, madam.

I think it's been placed too far from the outer casing.

You see, excuse me.

The, uh... The recoil allowed just here.

Oh, there you see.

Of course.

Good gracious.

Hampers, he solved it.

Solved what?

I don't know how he overlooked it.

The man's perfectly right.

That's the reason the thing turned round.

Really?

What about him running me over this morning?

Oh, that was obviously an accident.

Well, of course it was an accident, sir.

I didn't mean to run you over, sir.

Mean, too.

If I thought you meant to die, have you already hump us?

Well, I'm sorry, Hampers.

I'd like Mr. Blissworth's help with this modification.

I'd like me to call on his services over the next few days.

Well, I... Can you make this fellow available, Foster?

With pleasure, sir.

Excellent.

Now, Hampers, I think you said something about dining with you at Admiralty House.

Yes, my dear.

I'll drive you there right away.

Thank you.

Goodbye, Mr. Blissworth.

The Admiral will no doubt send his car for you in the morning.

Where we can work together in the privacy of Admiralty House.

Thank you, Madam.

That will be nice.

You have a genius on your ship, Captain Foster?

Thank you.

Make the chain.

I'll be almost sorry to lose you, Blissworth.

I'm his judge, sir, you know.

No hard feelings.

Go, of course, Arthur.

It's a surprise, huh?

Stand by.

Mercy peculiar.

Oh, very peculiar.

Yes, most peculiar.