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All language subtitles for Unhinged Trump Retaliates Against the EU by Leaking Private Greenland Texts with Macron [JuDB7LE3O-w]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,980 Welcome, welcome, welcome to The Tonight Show! 2 00:00:03,340 --> 00:00:04,340 That's right! 3 00:00:04,540 --> 00:00:05,540 Oh, yeah. 4 00:00:07,380 --> 00:00:12,580 Well, guys, right now, we're experiencing a major cold snap. It is 5 00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:13,580 New York City. 6 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:17,520 Whew! This morning, my face was so frozen, I kept getting mistaken for one 7 00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:18,520 the real housewives. 8 00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:26,720 Seriously, it's so cold, even straight hockey players are spooning. You know, 9 00:00:26,780 --> 00:00:28,760 that's how cold it is. Whoa! 10 00:00:29,870 --> 00:00:33,690 It's so cold, Al Roker said he walked into Benihana and squatted over an onion 11 00:00:33,690 --> 00:00:35,770 volcano. What is he talking? 12 00:00:36,030 --> 00:00:38,070 What is he talking? 13 00:00:38,670 --> 00:00:39,670 That's cold. 14 00:00:40,430 --> 00:00:44,870 Meanwhile, it's also freezing in Washington, D .C. It is so cold, all the 15 00:00:44,870 --> 00:00:47,450 animals on Trump's cognitive test were Arctic -themed. 16 00:00:48,410 --> 00:00:50,630 Polar bear, penguin, walrus. 17 00:00:50,950 --> 00:00:51,950 Walrus. 18 00:00:58,500 --> 00:01:02,080 It's so cold, Trump traded his Nobel Peace Prize for a Hot Pocket. 19 00:01:04,459 --> 00:01:07,540 It's so cold, Trump said, forget Greenland, we're invading Cancun. 20 00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:12,560 It's so cold, Trump styled his hair into a hat with the ear flaps. 21 00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:21,960 Speaking of Trump, today marks the 22 00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:25,160 one -year anniversary of him taking office for his second term. 23 00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:34,340 It's amazing, just one year ago we thought renaming the Gulf of Mexico 24 00:01:34,340 --> 00:01:35,420 the craziest thing he does. 25 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:40,480 Today marks the one full year since Trump took office, so we thought we'd 26 00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:43,060 look back at everything Trump has done this year. Here we go. 27 00:01:59,090 --> 00:02:00,090 Wow, 28 00:02:03,170 --> 00:02:04,470 what a crazy year. 29 00:02:04,730 --> 00:02:06,170 That was just last week. 30 00:02:12,780 --> 00:02:16,900 Did you guys see this? Last night, Trump posted a private text message from 31 00:02:16,900 --> 00:02:20,720 French President Emmanuel Macron that said, I do not understand what you were 32 00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:21,720 doing on Greenland. 33 00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:26,720 Then Trump threatened Macron, saying they'll put a 50 % tariff on all Emilys 34 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:27,720 living in Paris. 35 00:02:29,060 --> 00:02:33,760 I saw that a new poll found that only 6 % of Americans are satisfied with how 36 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:35,920 many of the Epstein files have been released so far. 37 00:02:36,140 --> 00:02:39,660 Here now to talk about this is a pollster who works for the Trump White 38 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,520 Stephen Hunter. Welcome to the show, Stephen. 39 00:02:41,780 --> 00:02:43,140 Great to be here, Jimmy. 40 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:47,940 So, how are you feeling about this new poll? 41 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:49,660 We've never felt better. 42 00:02:50,900 --> 00:02:52,340 Seriously? Oh, definitely. 43 00:02:52,780 --> 00:02:57,900 I mean, think about it. If you take 6 % and round up, you're at 10%, which is 44 00:02:57,900 --> 00:03:02,020 halfway to 20%, which, as everyone knows, is basically 25%. 45 00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:04,720 So that means one in four Americans are satisfied. 46 00:03:05,020 --> 00:03:07,080 Another win for the Trump presidency. 47 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:10,080 Hang on. That math is a little confusing. 48 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:11,720 I don't think so. 49 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:17,420 Six becomes ten. Ten is half a twenty. Then you're at twenty -five. Then when 50 00:03:17,420 --> 00:03:20,620 you round up, you're at fifty percent. That means one in two people are 51 00:03:20,620 --> 00:03:21,760 satisfied. Booyah! 52 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:25,520 That's not accurate. The number released is six percent. 53 00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:29,680 Sure, but this poll had a ninety -four percent margin of error. 54 00:03:30,030 --> 00:03:34,950 Which means that 6 % instantly becomes 100%, so everyone is satisfied. 55 00:03:35,830 --> 00:03:37,130 Stop doing that. Stop. 56 00:03:37,410 --> 00:03:39,570 Jimmy, I'm sorry. You're not a numbers guy. 57 00:03:40,210 --> 00:03:41,550 I don't think you are either. 58 00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:47,330 Okay, okay. Let me take this slow for you. The number reported is six. 59 00:03:48,469 --> 00:03:53,130 That could easily be incorrectly flipped and actually be a nine, which rounds to 60 00:03:53,130 --> 00:03:55,470 ten. Then you carry the one. What one? 61 00:03:55,750 --> 00:03:57,050 That becomes eleven. 62 00:03:57,470 --> 00:04:01,670 That's one away from twelve, and twelve is a dozen, which Americans love. We're 63 00:04:01,670 --> 00:04:05,790 talking eggs, donuts, juries, all very patriotic things. 64 00:04:06,030 --> 00:04:09,510 And if twelve people are satisfied, that's basically a full table at a 65 00:04:09,510 --> 00:04:12,090 restaurant. And who doesn't love to eat? I mean, come on. 66 00:04:13,310 --> 00:04:14,670 What are you talking about? 67 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:17,440 This is all basic math. 68 00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:19,399 I mean, this is what I studied in college. 69 00:04:19,899 --> 00:04:21,040 Where did you go to college? 70 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:22,480 Trump University. 71 00:04:22,580 --> 00:04:24,560 Okay, there you go. Trump culture, everybody. 72 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:26,020 T -U. 73 00:04:26,220 --> 00:04:29,720 T -U. We're going to sue you. We're going to sue you. 74 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:32,500 T -U. T -U. 75 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:34,660 He's still here. Thank you. All right. 76 00:04:36,460 --> 00:04:40,080 Switching gears, I want to say congrats to the Indiana Hoosiers for beating the 77 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:43,600 Miami Hurricanes and winning their first national championship. 78 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:46,600 Wow, great game. 79 00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:47,960 What a game. 80 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:52,260 Indiana announced that they will celebrate this Saturday in Bloomington, 81 00:04:52,300 --> 00:04:56,040 Indiana. They're in Miami, and they're like, nope, we got to go where the party 82 00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:57,560 is. Bloomington, Indiana. 83 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:02,320 Well, get this. I saw the company that built the Las Vegas Sphere announced 84 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:05,100 plans to build a smaller version in the D .C. area. 85 00:05:06,180 --> 00:05:09,700 Actually, I heard that they might get two of them, but I think the placement 86 00:05:09,700 --> 00:05:10,419 a little weird. 87 00:05:10,420 --> 00:05:12,080 I just think it's just... 88 00:05:12,590 --> 00:05:13,690 I don't think they should. That's awful. 89 00:05:13,970 --> 00:05:14,970 I wouldn't do it. 90 00:05:15,290 --> 00:05:17,090 Don't do it. I wouldn't do it. And they're blue? 91 00:05:17,410 --> 00:05:18,409 No, I wouldn't do it. 92 00:05:18,410 --> 00:05:19,590 They have to be blue? 93 00:05:20,150 --> 00:05:21,150 Wow. 94 00:05:21,450 --> 00:05:23,010 Family show. I don't think they're blue. 95 00:05:24,830 --> 00:05:28,730 And finally, I read that Magic Mike Live is coming to New York City. 96 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:35,200 All the performers were like, hey, could you come see the show when it's a 97 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:38,320 little warmer out? We have a great show. Give it up for The Roots, everybody. 98 00:05:48,750 --> 00:05:53,070 Oh, thank you very much. What a show we have for you tonight. He's a giant movie 99 00:05:53,070 --> 00:05:57,530 star who you can see in the National Geographic series Poll to Poll, which is 100 00:05:57,530 --> 00:06:02,570 the number one trending series right now on Disney+. Will Smith is here tonight! 101 00:06:05,950 --> 00:06:06,950 Yeah! 102 00:06:08,170 --> 00:06:13,370 She is a New York Times best -selling author whose new book Half His Age is 103 00:06:13,370 --> 00:06:15,670 now. Jeanette McCurdy is joining us. 104 00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:18,440 Love Jeanette McCurdy. 105 00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:20,780 She's awesome. 106 00:06:21,260 --> 00:06:26,140 And he's a starting guard for the New York Knicks. Josh Hart is here tonight! 107 00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:29,560 Go, New York! 108 00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:35,840 And one of my favorite bands. I'm so psyched here. They have great new music. 109 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:37,140 The Lemonheads are... 110 00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:47,000 Fantastic. I had a good night last night. 111 00:06:47,220 --> 00:06:51,800 I went to Molly's Pub over there on 3rd Avenue. I had a couple of beers, 112 00:06:51,840 --> 00:06:53,320 watching the game. We were singing. 113 00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:57,500 It got me thinking. I love nothing more than I love than a good old -fashioned 114 00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,660 Irish drinking song that everyone can sing along to. 115 00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:02,800 And I thought that tonight, with all of you, it could be kind of fun. Let's do 116 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,800 one here. It's time for the Tonight Show drinking song. Here we go. 117 00:07:06,060 --> 00:07:07,400 Tonight Show drinking song. 118 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:09,100 Tonight Show drinking song. 119 00:07:15,630 --> 00:07:16,830 I want everyone to sing along. You ready? 120 00:07:17,510 --> 00:07:22,350 Here we go. The football playoffs started. They're already so fun. Whether 121 00:07:22,350 --> 00:07:25,070 college or the NFL, I bet on everyone. 122 00:07:25,530 --> 00:07:30,310 Well, drafting makes it easy. I can bet right from the phone. And when I go and 123 00:07:30,310 --> 00:07:34,410 lose it all, they come and take me home. Oh, hey -ho, tonight's show. 124 00:07:34,630 --> 00:07:39,750 Upsy -daisy, down she goes. Hey -ho, tonight's show. Upsy -daisy, down she 125 00:07:40,270 --> 00:07:41,730 Cheers! Cheers! 126 00:07:43,710 --> 00:07:44,710 Well... 127 00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:49,360 The Oscars are a -coming, they're the best films of the year. Some of them 128 00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:53,620 us laugh and others filled our eyes with tears. But exactly what they were about 129 00:07:53,620 --> 00:07:57,700 to me, it isn't known. Because I watched them all while scrolling through TikTok 130 00:07:57,700 --> 00:08:02,920 on my phone. Oh, hey -ho, tonight's show, up -de -da -dee -down she goes. 131 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:06,000 -ho, tonight's show, up -de -da -dee -down she goes. 132 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:07,360 Cheers! 133 00:08:08,180 --> 00:08:09,960 Here we go. 134 00:08:10,860 --> 00:08:14,080 My wife, she has been distant in her room, she's locked away. 135 00:08:14,670 --> 00:08:18,830 She says she's been reading books, but I sent some things astray. She must think 136 00:08:18,830 --> 00:08:23,530 that I am a fool and I can plainly see that she's binging every episode of 137 00:08:23,530 --> 00:08:29,030 Heated Rivalry. Oh, hey -ho, tonight's show. Upsy -daisy, down she goes. Hey 138 00:08:29,030 --> 00:08:32,090 -ho, tonight's show. Upsy -daisy, down she goes. 139 00:08:33,330 --> 00:08:34,330 Cheers! 140 00:08:34,710 --> 00:08:37,510 Thanks for singing with me. Stick around. We'll be right back with 141 00:08:37,510 --> 00:08:39,690 show, One Shot Jackpot. Come on back, everybody. 11586