All language subtitles for The Tick (1994) - S01E01 - The Tick vs. The Idea Men (576p DVD x265 Ghost)

And how long have you been a superhero?

Me? Well, I guess I've always been a
superhero.

I don't know much else.

Arthur, what's the tick really like?

The tick? He's great. He's a little hard
to work with sometimes, but he's

stronger than anybody.

Listen, ours is an epic tale. True
friendship. Heart -stopping danger.

Men and women in tights. Making the
rules and breaking them. We are not two

We are ten men. Listen!

It all started in Reno.

Every year, heroes flock to the National
Super Institute to compete for the best

cities to protect from crime.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Blowfish
Avenger.

Blowfish at New Rochelle. Way to go,
Blowfish.

One year, I decided to compete.

Now you may ask, but how does one prove
one's mightiness? To this I reply by

surviving the deadliest engine of
destruction 1974 had to offer.

Ladies and gentlemen, you may want to
shield yourselves with your dessert

I might be dangerous.

Well, this is disappointing.

Whoa.

And the rest is history.

Thank you.

Destiny's powerful hand has made the bed
of my future.

And it's up to me to lie in it. I am
destined to be a superhero.

To right wrongs and pound two -fisted
justice into the hearts of evildoers

everywhere.

You don't fight destiny. No, sir.

And you don't eat crackers in the bed of
your future. Or you get all...

Scratchy. Hey, I'm narrating here.

They've assigned me a city.

My mission? To free it from the ravages
of evil and supervillainy. So its

citizens may sleep easy.

Secure in the knowledge that they are
protected.

The city.

My, the city.

It cries to me of its need.

Excuse me.

Arthur? Yes, Mr. Wieterspan?

Arthur, I'm afraid the firm feels that
it's time to allow you the opportunity

pursue other avenues of employment.

I'm fired?

Is there a problem with my work? Oh, no,
Arthur. No, it's... It's that stupid

bunny outfit.

Oh, no. Not bunny, sir. Moth.

It's my moth suit. Actually, it's a
flying suit. The wings are in my

Arthur, you're making the other
accountants nervous.

We all find this kind of rampant
individuality very disturbing.

I know you think I'm crazy, Mr.
Wieterspan, but I'm not.

It's just, ever since I found this suit,
I felt strange new needs, urges.

I can't live this life a moment longer.

Somewhere out there, a destiny of
adventure and excitement waits for me.

Accounting is a fine skill to fall back
on, but the road less traveled. Much

less traveled. The Moth Suit and Wings
Road is a lot more exciting than taxes.

It is I, the Tick, your destined
defender.

Show me where it hurts.

Oh,

there's crime here. I can smell it. I
can taste it.

So shall I begin my first patrol of the
city with one giant leap.

Soon, they will know me.

Soon, they will need me.

Well, great.

Now I'm unemployed.

How am I going to find adventure and
excitement when I can't even cover my

expenses?

And double snip!

Aha!

I'll bounce off that flagpole and flip
to safety.

Aha!

I'll bounce off that broad, flat
surface.

I don't eat out. And reverse my
underwear to get an extra day.

Or maybe not.

Gravity is a harsh mistress.

Are you all right?

I'm fine. I'm a superhero.

I'm nigh invulnerable.

I'm built for this kind of thing.

Nice outfit.

A superhero?

Known to evildoers everywhere as the...
Tick. I'm Arthur, known to taxpayers

everywhere as the accountant.

I'm looking for adventure.

Come have lunch with me, Arthur.

Adventure will follow.

Why would they send a superhero of my
caliber to a place like this?

Oh, I'm not sure this city even needs a
champion.

Oh, you're a superhero, huh? And what
sort of costume is that supposed to be?

Costume? No costume, friend.

I am simply the Tick. Well, you can't be
the Tick.

Ticks are arachnids. They got eight
legs.

How do you know I don't? Ticks suck
blood. Do you suck blood?

Uh, yeah, I suck blood all the time.
Yeah, right.

Look, I got a straw right here, pal. You
want a demonstration?

No, no. No, no, thanks. No.

An explosion.

Come, Arthur. Evil is afoot.

Afoot? That's funny. I have only seconds
to shed my everyday disguise.

This looks like a job for... There's
somebody in here.

Occupied.

This looks like a job for... The Cape
Chameleon!

This is definitely illegal.

Arthur,

do you fly?

My wings are in my briefcase.

Back at the diner. I'll go get them.

No time, chum.

I think I'll just lie down here for a
second.

Criminals! You face the sworn protector
of this fair city, you face the tick.

Speak up! I can't understand a word
you're saying through those stupid

Are we dead yet?

Far from it, Arthur. We have them on the
run.

Hey, cool.

They got a blimp.

That was the scene today at the Reeve
Droit Bank as the mysterious gang known

the Idea Men struck again, continuing
their terrible crime wave.

It was the sixth time in as many days
that the baffling criminals have

from the sky.

the city's most valued assets.

But today, their nefarious plot was
thwarted by an heroic blue stranger.

Hey, cool.

They got a blimp.

Our modest blue benefactor exited the
scene without comment.

The idea, Mad Menace, is far from over,
says Mayor Blank. In fact, we have

reason to believe that these criminals
have been merely practicing for a much

larger caper. We'll have more on this
story as it develops.

Meanwhile, on a lighter note...

I always have trouble with these keys.

Well, this is my place.

What do you think?

It's great. It looks just like an
apartment.

Where's your secret headquarters
trigger?

Is this it?

No, wait.

You know, the trigger. Like a statue or
a candlestick that you twist and then

everything flips over and all your crime
-busting equipment pops out. This is

it, right? Ah, no.

What does your sofa turn into? Your
sonar radar perimeter. Does it sense

No. It turns into a bed.

Please, this is just an apartment.

It is?

Yes, yes!

Well, this place is going to take a lot
of work if it's going to be our

superhero headquarters.

No! Oh, I don't know. I just don't know
if I'm ready for this. Too much

excitement, too much adventure.

I think I'm going crazy.

You're not going crazy, Arthur.

You're going sane in a crazy world.

Some people are destined for greater
things.

Arthur, you are one of those people.

You can't hide from it. You've got to
hug it.

Hug your destiny, Arthur.

Hug it.

Uh -huh.

Well, I think I'll just sleep on it,
okay?

That's fine, my small friend.

You rest up, and I will monitor the
culture.

Taste me.

That's Drama Flakes Tasty Challenge.

Attractive, successful people love Drama
Flakes.

Guaranteed to make your life more
dramatic and eventful with every golden

spoonful. Just listen to them get an
earful.

Good evening. This is Sally Vacuum with
a special report.

I'm here at the city hydroelectric
plant.

Apparently the notorious idea men have
taken the city dam hostage.

Although we can't understand a word
they're saying.

What?

I'm sorry we didn't get that.

Good heavens.

They're going to flood the city.

Arthur, get up. The city calls upon her
steadfast protectors.

What? This looks like a job for bipolar
bear.

But I just can't seem to get out of bed
this month.

This looks like a job for Captain
Lemming.

Come on, Spine. Work with me.

Excuse me, miss. I've got to change my
outfit.

This looks like a job for the human
bullet.

Fire me, boy.

Get those wings on, Arthur.

This isn't such a good idea. The wings.
Put them on. I'm not so good at this.

You'll get better. I've never flown
before.

Not a problem.

No. No.

No. No. No. Change my mind. I want to
come down.

It's your destiny, Arthur.

Hug it.

very frightened.

No, Arthur, you're very flying.

You see, no more doubting yourself.

Now, on to the death. We have work to
do.

What happens now?

Wow. Wow.

All out of roofs, eh?

Uh, yeah. Guess so.

Deflator mouth.

I should have known you'd be out
tonight.

Well, if it isn't American made. The
world's most patriotic domestic.

This looks like a job for deflator
mouth.

Not some mop squeezer. Why don't you
go...

Scrub out a toilet somewhere.

Why don't you go smell up some cave?

People, people, there's a dam about to
blow up. We should team up and use all

our resources to battle this evil. Team
up? I'm not going to team up with her.

There's that fear of commitment again.

Oh, listen to Miss Intimacy here.

Jerk. Jingoist. Rabid goon. Clean freak.
Nerf. Ice cream. Some people just

shouldn't be in this business.

You are so... To the dam!

But how?

We'll figure it out.

are so incredibly immature.

Amateurs. None of them really know how
to handle evil.

This looks like a job for Big Shot.

The

mayor

is just now arriving and it looks like
he's brought the ransom money.

Mayor Blank, are you actually going to
give in to the idea of men's criminal

demands? Well, Sally, let me put it this
way.

How well can you swim?

But seriously, we have no choice. They
have our dam and no force on Earth can

stop them now.

Let's see, 15 % of... Arthur, onward!

Oh, just keep the change.

Seconds from now, the mayor will hand
over a briefcase containing 10 million

municipal dollars, the biggest ransom
ever paid in the city's history.

They must have gotten their money.

They got their money and they're still
going to blow up the dam.

Oh, no fair.

Okay, idea man, what's the big idea?

Well, we thought we'd steal a lot of
money, and then we'd be rich, and we

wouldn't have to work anymore.

You cads!

Now turn off your bomb!

We can't. Once it's activated, it can't
be shut off.

What are you doing?

Shh! I'm defusing it.

Guns and superheroes don't mix.

Seek professional help.

My goodness!

I'm a walking time bomb!

Get out of my way!

Why didn't you love me, Mom?

Guess we saved the city.

For the moment, yes, my friend. But with
luck, our future holds still more dire

threats, more perilous plots.

Wherever villainy rears its great big
head, wherever evil sets its giant, ill

-smelling foot, you will find the tick.

Oh, and Arthur is a sidekick.

Good show.

And yes, my sidekick Arthur. Certainly a
force to be reckoned with.

And so, may evil beware. And may good
dress warmly and eat plenty of fresh

vegetables.

I'm okay.