Original subtitles

(birds chirping)

(somber music)

- His member, oh,

shining in the dark like a silver beacon, softly calling,

"Eat me. Eat me"

She bent to him,

her crimson lips quivering,

glistening in the pale moonlight,

her head bobbing helter-skelter,

as she sucked and drew the sweet nectar from his ding-dong.

Her silken tongue ravishing the pearly stalk

that stood like a stick

in the center of his throbbing,

thrusting loins.

Strong,

sperm gushing,

shooting,

spewing forth a torrential rain of manhood

into the center of the orifice that was once her mouth.

Ejaculate,

ejaculate before it's too late.

Before the moment passes and is lost forever

in the golden showers of her tender youth.

- Darling, there's nothing wrong with taking money for sex.

I just don't take checks.

(music continues)

- Well, I've always loved pricks, but this is going a bit too far.

- Would you care for some coke?

- No, do you have any Pepsi?

Whose party is this?

- Haven't the slightest idea, who cares anyway?

- You know darling, I'd really like to get into your panties.

- Listen buster,

one asshole in my panties is enough.

(jazzy music)

- Howdy, ma'am.

- Hi.

- Nice party, huh?

- Yes, it is.

Do you know whose party it is?

- I don't know, but whoever it is must be one big schtick.

- Schtick?

No,you mean schmuck.

- No, I mean schtick.

- No, look, a schmuck is what somebody is,

and a schtick is what somebody does.

- Oh.

Well, if it's what somebody does, honey, I'd sure like to schtick you.

(both laugh) - No, that's shtup!

- Hey hold on now, you're getting me confused.

Say honey, did you come with anybody?

- No, but I've been trying for an hour.

_

Oh! (chuckling) You cute little filly.

What I mean is,

are you here with anybody?

- No.

- Well, would ya like to uh, wander around a bit,

maybe uh, check out the inside of the house?

- Yéah,sure. (chuckhng)

You look like you're worth a shtup or two.

Come on. - All right.

(soft jazzy music)

- This place is just great!

- Hey darling, where are you taking me?

- I don't know, let's just explore for a while.

- Well I had some exploring in mind, but I thought maybe--

- Oh come on handsome, you can hold it in.

I'm looking for them just for you.

- Aww.

(floorboards creak)

(mellow funk music)

- Say, this'll do just fine.

' 9h yeah!

I just love the interior decorating.

- Yeah, who cares?

I just want to decorate your interior.

(chuckles)

- What a sexy room.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. (chuckles)

Me Tarzan, you Jane.

- Oh, okay, jungle boy.

You just close those big green eyes and don't move.

- All right.

- Okay, cowboy.

Now you just keep those big green eyes closed.

Gonna give you a treat.

(percussive music)

Not yet.

Coming up, very close.

Okay, lover.

Now, how do you like my new skin?

- Yes, kind of like the real one better.

Come here, you little tiger.

- It's a leopard, Tarzan.

- Don't matter to me none, pussycat.

I just wanna grab your tail.

- Yes, well, I want to grab your schtick.

- Mmm. (hat clatters)

(percussive music)

(percussive music continues)

(percussive music continues)

(percussive music continues)

(funky music) P You and me. P

P You and me. P

P The world's a funny place P

P A very strange place P

P Many, many things make you look good P

P But it could be better P

P Just like it should P

l' This is the start of something good P

(loud splash)

(percussive music)

(clicking sound) (screen whirrs)

(machinery hums)

- Hey, where the hell are we, Disneyland?

(projector sounds)

Hey, we going to the movies, honey.

Well, I'll be damned.

This house has just about everything.

- Oh, wow, they must be collector's items.

Look how old the film is.

- Yeah.

(old time jazz plays)

- [Roy] I didn't know they made stag films in them days.

(music continues)

Yeah, that's practically an instant replay.

(Linda exclaims)

- [Linda] What's she doing with an old buzzard like that?

- The same thing you was doing with me, sugar pie.

- Well yeah, but he's such a dirty old man. Ugh!

- [Roy] I reckon I will be too, someday.

Shit, my grandpappy's 89.

He's still chasing after twelve-year-olds.

' BOYS 0r girls?

- Hell, don't matter to him none.

He's half blind, anyway.

(Roy chuckles)

He says that finding the right hole is like staking for oil.

You drill long enough, you're bound to find it.

(old time jazz continues)

- Hey, let's get outta here.

- Eh yeah, you gotta point.

This, this might be trespassing

or uh, invasion of privacy.

(projector sounds) (button clicks)

(screen whirrs) (door squeaks)

- [Linda] Shh, come on.

(door thuds)

(Linda giggles)

(percussive music)

(water splashes)

(guitar strumming) (coarse singing)

- Disgusting.

Absolutely disgusting.

- What is? - That there one-lady jug band.

- I think that's a two jug lady band.

- Anyway, if that there is music, I better pack my bags,

go home and get married.

- Oh, do you play an instrument?

- Oh, Lord no.

Only thing I play is the field.

- Hey, I bet that's not all you do, honey.

- That and my art.

- Your art?

- Yes, I sing country western music.

- Hey, now you're talking my language,

honey. I'm from Texas.

- I already knew that, good looking.

Pleased to meet you.

I'm Dolly Martin.

- Dolly Martin, well this is a pleasure.

Hey, how are ya?

- Well, awfully dry.

Just parched.

I sure could use something wet.

- Well listen, just try the pool.

- I forgot my suit and it's not my birthday.

(Dolly chuckles)

- Uh, you ladies just wait right here and I'll get us some refreshments.

- Y'all hurry on back now.

(soft jazzy music)

- You look bored.

Aren't you having a good time?

- Yeah, it was fun for a while.

- Excuse me.

My name is Darrin Blue.

This is my place.

- Ohh, so it's your party.

Everybody's been wondering about you, the mysterious host.

Where have you been hiding?

- I haven't.

I've been watching.

- Watching?

- You and your friends.

- Oh, you mean Roy.

Oh listen, he's just a schmuck-- or was it schtick?

- Excuse me?

- Oh, it doesn't matter.

- Then you won't mind coming with me.

- Where to?

- Just come with me.

- It's your party, I mean,

you just can't leave your party.

- I have had enough parties to fill a lifetime.

- Yeah?

Just let me get my clothes.

(soft jazzy music)

- Where's Linda going?

Never mind, honey.

Why don't you just sing one of them tender melodies, huh?

- You really want me to?

- Oh, yeah.

(country music)

- Where are we going?

- Oh, no place in particular.

I just wanted a change of mood.

- Are you a moody person?

- No.

lused to be.

When I was younger, I guess that mellowed out.

- Oh.

(bouncy music)

- How old are you?

- Guess.

- Twenty-two.

- No, twenty-four.

- Twenty-four.

You know, that's a marvelous age.

When I was your age, I never went to any parties like that one.

No, sir. I was much more innocent than that.

- You were innocent at my age?

I mean, when was that grandpa, 1915?

- No.

1925.

- Oh; my'

You really are old enough to be my grandpa.

Tell me, are you still so innocent?

(chuckles)

- You know the '20s, the early 1920s, was a time of innocence.

People still believed in virtue, romance, love and marriage.

- Marriage?

Oh my God, man. I mean, marriage is an obsolete,

archaic, sexist convention

arising from a hypocritical extension of the middle-class experience.

Flaughs)

Why do you laugh?

- It may surprise you,

but even in the 20s, there were people

that sounded a lot like you, dear.

A lot of them were women. - Yes.

- There was one woman I'll bet you never heard of,

because she never made any headlines, but she was so far ahead of her time.

_

- She was a very wealthy, sophisticated,

older woman.

And she had a particular weakness,

younger men.

(old time jazz plays)

- Tell me, Max, is it much further?

- No, madame. We will be there shortly.

- Oh, good.

It's getting terribly warm.

My underarms are simply sopping.

As a matter of fact, I'm wet all over.

Maybe someday someone will invent some way to blow the cool air in

and keep the hot air out.

They might call it air adjustment or air control,

something like that.

Oh do be a darling and light my cigarette for me.

- I really don't think you ought to smoke, Henrietta.

It's just not ladylike.

- Thank you, Mark.

You sound positively Victorian.

Besides, whoever said I was a lady? And you know my addiction to pleasure.

And a cigarette is the perfect type of perfect pleasure.

It's exquisite, yet it leaves you unsatisfied.

Darling,

don't frown like that.

You must be thinking.

Please try not to do it.

It makes terrible lines on your forehead.

- I don't care.

I'll think if I want to.

- Oh, don't be cross, darling.

Billy, look at the expressions on the faces of studious men,

successful men.

Simply awful.

In the church, where a clergyman has only to say at age eighty what he's been taught

to say at age eighty, well, they all look simply divine.

Really darling, the most beautiful creatures in the world

are the brainless ones.

(old time jazz plays)

(door thuds)

- Uh, oh put them over there, Max.

- Yes, madame.

- Why Henrietta, what a wonderful spot.

- Yes, isn't it just perfect?

It's one of my secret hideaways.

- You've been here before.

- Oh yes, many times.

(crank squeaks)

(old time jazz plays)

- ls there anything else, madame?

- Oh no, Max. That'll be all, thank you.

Just wait in the car and you can pick us up about five.

- Very good, madame.

- Now, I have a little surprise.

Da-dum!

- But Henrietta, thafsiHegaL

- Oh posh, illegal.

What a silly word.

Are the trees legal?

Is the sun and moon illegal?

- But you could go to jail for that.

- Oh, posh, don't be tiresome.

Be a darling and open it.

- Where did you get it? - Oh,

from a dear old friend of mine.

He used to use his boat for fishing, but he found out that

liquor is far more profitable than fish.

- Smuggler.

- Yes, that's what it's called.

- Henrietta, you have the most amazing range of friends.

You're not very selective.

- Oh, but I am, darling.

I select my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances

for their good character,

and my enemies for their good intellect.

Do you prefer leg or breast?

- Oh, uh, leg.

(old time jazz plays)

- Come sit next to me in the shade.

You're going to get sunburnt and you shouldn't.

- But why not? I'd like a bit of a tan.

- The sun causes wrinkles.

- So what? That doesn't bother me.

- Well, it should.

- Why?

- Because right now you have the one thing worth having.

- What's that, Henrietta?

- Youth

and beauty.

The most marvelous thing there is in the world.

- But,

I don't believe in that, Henrietta.

- Well of course you don't now, because you have it.

You are young and beautiful.

And you charm people wherever you go.

But someday, when you're old and wrinkled and ugly,

then you'll miss it.

Then you will yearn for it terribly.

- Beauty is so superficial.

Is that all you see in me?

(chuckles)

- Superficial?

Oh, my dear, only shallow people never judge by appearances.

Really,

the true mystery of the world is in the visible,

not the invisible.

It's the things you can see

and touch.

- To me, beauty is a form of genius.

Oh, higher than genius because it needs no explanation.

It simply exists.

A fact.

Perfect like sunlight or springtime

orthe delicate raindrops

on a rose petal.

(old time jazz plays)

(old time jazz continues)

(old time jazz continues)

(old time jazz continues)

(old time jazz continues)

- Wow, is that Max's way of getting his kicks?

Didn't Henrietta or the young man know they were being filmed?

- Well the young man sure as hell didn't, but she did.

Henrietta planned the entire thing.

' But why?

- Oh, who knows.

I suppose it was her way of way of getting off.

I told you she was pretty outrageous.

- Did the young boy ever find out?

- Oh, yes.

I suppose that was the whole point of it.

You see, she loved springing surprises like that.

- I have a marvelous surprise for you, darling.

Now, I want you to sit back, relax,

and enjoy it.

Well, as they say in Hollywood--

Er, what is it they say in Hollywood?

- Roll it, madame.

- Oh, yes. Roll it, madame.

(projector sounds)

- Well, what do you think?

- I-I-I can't believe it.

Well how did--

When? - Look at yourself.

I wanted you to see for yourself how truly fantastic you are.

Isn't he fantastic, Max?

- Fantastic, madame.

- Surely now you can see your own beauty.

- I don't know what to say. I've never seen myself like that before.

- Well, of course you haven't.

If you had, you'd know what a gorgeous creature you are.

- You know you were right Henrietta.

Absolutely right, and I'm beginning to see that clearly now.

Up there on that screen,

youth and beauty,

they are the only things worth having.

- Hmm.

You do have miraculous staying power.

(projector sounds continue)

- I really am good, aren't l?

- Yes, my darling,

and the gods have been good to you.

But unfortunately,

what the gods give, they all too quickly take away.

When you grow old, you're left with nothing but memories.

- How sad.

- Well, that's the way it is.

(lamp clicks)

Thank you, Max.

That'll be all.

(door thuds)

- I don't want to grow old.

When I find that I am, I shall kill myself.

- Don't talk that way, my silly darling.

- How long will you continue to love me once I've gotten

my first wrinkles?

You will stop loving me, won't you?

- My dearest baby.

- It's true.

Say it.

Will you love me always?

- Always?

Always, what a dreadful word.

Why are young people so fond of using it?

They spoil every romance by trying to make it last forever.

- How sad it is that someday I shall grow old and horrible and even impotent.

But up there on that screen,

that fleeting image of me captured on that strip of film,

I'll never be any older than that particular day in June.

But what if it were the other way around?

- Other way around?

- What if it were the film that would grow old instead of me,

and I would remain as young as the day it were taken?

(laughing)

- What an utterly enchanting, fantastic idea, darling.

- God, I would give anything for that.

- I'm afraid there's really nothing you can give.

Perhaps I have taught you too well of youth and beauty

and not enough of anything else.

Oh dear, I've upset you.

Come sit down.

- Don't humor me, Henrietta.

I'm not a child.

- If you had your way, that's exactly what you would be and remain forever.

A silly, boring child.

- You can say what you like,

but I know I shan't be able to bear growing old...

like...

- Like me?

- No, I didn't mean that.

- Oh, I'm sorry I ever even made that silly motion picture.

I think the best thing would be just to destroy it now.

- No! - But darling,

as you grow older, it'll only torture you to look at it.

- No, you can't, and I won't let you.

(engine rumbling)

- What a strange couple.

What happened to them? Did they continue as lovers?

- Yes, for a while,

a few years passed, but then one day Henrietta just up

and disappeared.

She left that young man with a broken heart

and a very generous bank roll.

- He never saw her again?

- No.

- Well at least he came out of it with something, that's not such a sad ending.

- You're right,

but money wasn't the only thing she left him.

- What do you mean?

(somber music)

- [Blue V.O.] One day, shortly after Henrietta left,

he decided to watch the film that she had given him.

He was feeling a bit down and he wanted to see his love once more.

As he watched, he thought he noticed something peculiar.

He was distracted away from Henrietta, and thought he detected small changes

in his own image.

At first, he thought it was simply that the film had begun to show

the normal signs of wear and tear.

Suddenly he realized that something very strange indeed had happened.

Something so amazing he could hardly believe his eyes.

That it was only his likeness that had begun to age.

Oh, nothing all that noticeable, but to this narcissistic young man,

a wrinkle, a gray hair did not go undetected

and there was no corresponding change in Henrietta's appearance.

There was no doubt about what had happened.

- [Blue] He had simply stopped aging.

He was exactly as he'd been at twenty-five.

- [Linda] Are you telling me that his wish had come true?

I mean, that the film got old while he stayed young?

- Exactly. Although his film image deteriorated,

he remained as young as the clay it was taken.

- Wow, that's the wildest story I've ever heard.

Do you know what happened to him after that?

- Well, in the years that followed, he adopted the lifestyle

that Henrietta had introduced him to.

A life of comfort, beauty, total devotion to pleasure.

By the 1930s, he was living in grand style.

- Scram!

You too.

- [Woman] Cupcake, breakfast is almost ready.

- [Blue V.O.] He put his money to use during Prohibition

and made a fortune in illegal enterprises.

His life became a constant whirl of wine, women,

wild parties, and the morning after consequences.

- See,deafie?

I made your favorite breakfast.

Come on cupcake, sit down.

- Oh, cut that cupcake crap.

- Oh, you're in a bad mood.

- Sure I'm in a bad mood.

My head feels like King Kong sat on it.

And your face, it looks like he shit on it.

What is that crap?

- It's a facial.

It's good for my complexion.

Vogue magazine says that at least once a week,

all beautiful women use masks.

- You could use a permanent one.

- Oh, do you think I need a new permanent?

- Not a permanent, bimbo.

A mask.

Where's the lox?

. Lox?

- The lox. (cutlery clanks)

What good are bagels without lox?

- I bought cream cheese.

- You try this on your complexion.

- Oh, now see what you've done.

- On you it's an improvement.

(doorbell rings)

- Answer that.

- Like this?

- Answer that.

(doorbell rings)

- [Fave] Who is it?

- [Man] John Dillinger.

Open up.

- [Faye] There's no one here by that name.

- Who is it, Faye?

- [Faye] I think they must have the wrong apartment.

Do you know a John Dillinger?

- John Dillinger?

Open the door.

We went to high school together.

(footsteps thump)

It's okay, John.

Come on in.

Hi John, you old hooky player, you.

How are you? - Hey, Darrin.

How's the world treating you?

You don't look a day over twenty-five.

Hey, gang.

I want you to meet my old classmate, Darrin Blue.

This is my girl, Jean Harlot

(drumming)

and my partner, Whitey.

(drumming)

- Whitey,

aren't you wearing the wrong color?

- I like black, Blue.

- Jean, honey, I ain't seen this mug since we was in high school.

We broke into the teacher's desk, stole the final exam.

- Last time I saw you John, you were in the principal's office.

- That's right.

Only I took the rap and got expelled.

You got off scot-free, went to college.

Well, I've come back for my share.

- Haven't I seen you in moving pictures, Miss Harlot?

- No, I don't believe so.

John doesn't let me go to the movies.

- You want to see a moving picture?

I'm wanted in thirteen states.

- For robbing banks?

- Nah, for stealing Roosevelt buttons.

- Listen, Darrin, I'm on the lam.

The law is on my tail and I'm in a jam.

- Gee, that's got a nice ring to it, boss.

- He's really a romantic poet.

- Yeah it wouldn't be all that serious,

except they started up this new federal bureau

in Washington.

It's headed up by this queer who's got hot nuts

for my ass.

He'd like to fry it and eat it.

- No shit? - My shit, too!

Yeah, this J. Edgar somebody,

he took Baby Face Nelson into custody, asked him to hand over his piece.

When Nelson didn't move quick enough, this fairy grabbed it with both hands

and sucked out all of his bullets.

(both laughing)

I don't know what this country is coming to,

put a man like that into office.

Pretty soon, they'll be teaching it in schools.

- John, how can I help you?

- My problem is, the last bank I hit asked me for a loan.

I'm down and I'm low, and I could sure use some dough.

- That's very musical, boss.

- He is a romantic poet.

(drumming)

- John, I'd like to help you, but I just invested my last dime

in a pay toilet franchise.

I'm flushed.

- Tell you what,

I could leave Jean Harlot here as collateral.

- That's some hot tomato. Where'd you pick her?

- She was marathon dancing

in a small town near St. Lou.

I told her I would take her to Hollywood with me.

She fell for it.

All the way to Chicago, she thought we were heading west.

Every time I saw a road sign, unzipped my fly,

shoved her head down.

She got to liking it down there so much,

I didn't see her face again 'til we hit Chicago.

(laughter)

Jean honey, come over here.

(drumming)

I want you to stay here and keep Mr. Company blue,

naw, I mean Mr. Blue company while I'm gone.

Maybe you can make yourself useful.

- But John, where are you going?

- Sorry, honey, I'm leaving tonight, and I've got to travel light.

I might hop a freight.

Can't take no extra weight.

- [Both] He's a folk hero!

- Say John, I hear there's a rumor going around

that the Smithsonian Institute

is interested in buying a part of your body.

That is, after you're through with it.

- Which part, John?

- Your favorite part, honey.

But I'll see to it that all the money goes to you.

- [Bullhorn] Attention inside the house.

This is the police, the FBI, the PTA,

the WPA.

The house is surrounded.

You can't escape.

We know you're in there.

You have five minutes to come out with your hands up.

We're coming in after you.

Throw out your guns, come out now, and we'll hold fire.

(drumming)

- All right.

- They can't kill me.

I'm a folk hero.

Up yours, J. Edgar.

Adios, guy. See ya in the movies.

- Take me with you John, please.

What will happen to me?

What will I do?

- Frankly, Harlot, I don't give a fuck.

(war sound effects, car crash)

- Now he is a folk hero.

- He never even got a chance to sell his part.

- Don't feel bad, honey.

You don't get much these days for used parts.

- But what will I do now?

- You could try the dishes.

- You cocky cunt!

You get in that kitchen.

I got to go take care of this lady in distress.

- You don't like my dress?

- Sure I do, sweetheart.

I'm going to see to it that you get a lot more pretty things to wear.

Because you and I are gonna get along just fine.

Now, dry those tears.

I'm going to take real good care of you, good.

(old time music)

- I washed all the dishes, honey.

- Here's one dish you can watch.

Maybe you can learn something.

(old time music continues)

- Didn't his friends begin to wonder about his looks?

- I suppose so.

When World War ll broke out and he tried to enlist,

he only looked twenty-five.

But they turned him down for being overage.

He was past forty.

- What did he do?

- Well he left the country.

He bounced around the world.

He spent the war years as an expatriate.

It was as if his eternal youth had placed him in a vacuum,

uncommitted, untouched by world events.

Until 1943, when destiny caught up with this cynical man.

- What do you mean?

- [Blue V.O.] Well he had quite a scam going for himself.

He was making a lot of money selling fake passports and letters of transit

to desperate refugees.

- How are you, Louie?

Have you seen my bird around?

- No, Mr. Blue,

but there's been a dame looking for you.

- Ah, it's still the same old story.

(Louie whistling poorly)

- Dammit, Louie, how many times have I told you,

if you want a whistle, all you got to go do is put

your lips together and blow.

(worse whistling)

Forget it.

Now, what about that dame?

- She came in last night with her husband and a teenage girl.

They looked desperate.

They're staying upstairs.

- All in the same room?

Did they bring any luggage?

- Yeah, it's the guy's daughter.

Anyway,

the dame was down here later asking a load of questions.

- My kind of loaded questions?

(chuckles)

Yeah, your kind.

(cash rustling)

- Thanks for the tip, Louie.

- This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

(19405 music)

. HGY-

You got a match?

- I'm sorry I don't smoke.

- Shit, I was sure you did.

- I take it you've got a name.

- Slimms,

Virginia Slimms, but don't take it too far.

- Just how far are you going?

- That depends.

What's the speed limit in Morocco?

(cheery music)

- Well, if you're not going by camel, it gets pretty fast.

- You must be Mr. Blue.

- True.

(cheery music)

- I've been waiting for you.

You're much younger than I had expected.

- The pizza here agrees with me.

- But there is no pizza in Morocco.

- Then I guess I've been misinformed.

- No, there is pizza here, and it's leaning.

- Now, what did you want to see me about?

- I need your help.

We have to get out of the country.

My husband's life is in grave danger.

- Is that so?

How many packs a clay is he on?

- You don't understand, Mr. Blue,

I love my husband dearly.

He's given me everything I've ever wanted and more.

- More?

(cheery music)

- Now cut that out!

(box clattering)

- I understand you have letters of transit.

- It'll cost you.

- I've got 2,000 francs.

You can have it all.

- They're a grand apiece, and I've only got two.

- But I need three.

He has a daughter.

I'd leave the little brat behind, but he'll never go without her.

- Well that's tough, sweetheart.

You get what you pay for.

Now, I can get you the two, all right.

You can get him out of the country and flip with the daughter

for the other one.

- Mr. Blue,

youTe a schmuck.

- No.

You just don't like my schtick.

If you change your mind, just whistle.

(door thuds)

(whistling poorly)

- [Blue V.O.] A strange soft moan seemed to be coming from down the hall.

It had a familiar sound to it.

It was that teenage brat that Slimms had mentioned.

Ancl she was having a swell time.

(moaning)

(19405 music)

(moans)

(mOanin _ Ohms)

Oh, Frankie.

Ohh.

Oh.

- Here's looking at you, kid.

(19405 music)

(whistle blows)

- Just a minute, sweetheart.

(door clicks)

(footsteps tapping)

(door thuds)

- Did you get them? - I got them.

Relax.

- Three? - Two.

- But Paul won't leave without the both of us.

- That's fine. That solves your problem.

The two of you can go and he can stay and wash dishes 'til the war is over.

- You don't understand.

My husband is a big wheel in the resistance.

- All right.

I'll buy him a dishwasher.

- How can you joke at a time like this?

The fate of France.

The future of all foreign peoples who love freedom,

French bread,

Franklin D.

Roosevelt depends on him.

- What the fuck are you talking about?

- Please.

I beg of you.

You can't be that unsentimental.

I can see that you're not that cruel and hard.

- Well then you need glasses.

Ah, I see you brought them.

- Not exactly.

Perhaps this will be more convincing.

Now give me those papers.

- Go ahead and shoot.

You'll be doing me a favor.

Put that toy down, Slimms, before you hurt yourself.

You haven't got the nerve to use that.

- Oh, no? Watch me.

(gun jamming) (hghter sparking)

(lighter sparks)

- Oh, it's hopeless.

I was wrong about you.

You couldn't care about anyone or anything.

Even without my glasses on, I can see that your face

lacks the little lines of love that life leaves.

(sentimental music)

(sighing)

P Oh, hello Bellevue. P

P Give me Doctor Jazz. P

P He's got just what I need P

P Oh, ru say he has P

P When the world goes wrong, P

I' and I get the blues P

P Oh, he's the man who makes me get out P

P both my dancin' shoes P

P The more I get, the more I want, it seems P

P I'll page old Doctor Jazz P

J> in all my dreams P

P When I'm troubled, P

P bound and mixed P

P Oh, he's the guy that gets me fixed P

P Oh, hello Bellevue P

P Hello, Bellevue? Hello Bellevue P

P Hello Bellevue P

l' Hello, Bellevue. P

P Hello Bellevue, hello Bellevue. P

(sentimental jazz music)

(sentimental jazz continues)

(sentimental jazz continues)

(sentimental jazz continues)

(sentimental jazz continues)

- Nyah...

that's the stuff that dreams are made of.

(cheery music)

- Ach, Herr Blue,

have you seen this man?

We suspect that he is in the area.

- Oh, flasher, eh?

- This is a serious matter.

- I'd like to help you boys, but this picture's awfully blurred.

Maybe the Fuhrer ought to invest in a Brownie.

- Herr Blue, the German people are perfectly capable and efficient

at making their own camera.

- Oh.

Hey Louie,

you like a Leica?

- No.

I nike a Nikon.

- What the fuck are they talking about?

- I would not fool around if I were you.

If you see this man, his wife und their daughter,

you will contact us immediately.

Ja?

There will be a car waiting outside.

- Well darling, have you found the flasher?

- Nein, Major.

- I haven't got all night.

(footsteps thump)

- Good clay, Herr Blue.

Und you too.

(boots thump) - [Both] Heil Hitler.

- Heil Hitler.

(suspenseful music)

(door thuds)

(papers rustle) (drawer thuds)

(suspenseful music)

(knocking)

(door clicks)

- I just had a visit from the SS.

- Social Security?

- No. Gestapo.

Ah, they're downstairs in the car.

- I'll keep them busy.

Anyway, my falcon needs a walk.

Here, take these. Get your family and run.

- Three!

- Two. Oh, well, I never learned to count.

- Oh, Mr. Blue, why have you done this?

- Never mind why.

Skip the money before I decide to regret it.

- Oh, you'll never regret it.

It's even better when you help.

'Til we meet again.

(exhales)

(sentimental music)

- What's eating you, boss?

- Oh, that Slimms dame.

She really got under my skin.

(slurping)

I was dead wrong about her.

She stuck by her man.

I guess he gave her everything she ever wanted

and a lot more.

- You're a young man, boss.

Got a long life ahead of you.

There's gonna be a lot more dames before this picture is over.

- I'm going to get some shut eye, Louie.

Good night.

Don't let him out of your sight.

(sentimental music)

(door clicks)

- I tried to leave and I couldn't.

I had to see you again.

All of you.

(romantic music)

- There's just one thing I'd like to know.

Do you smoke after you fuck?

- Well, I don't know.

I never look.

(romantic music continues)

- Oh, it's good, baby,.

(19405 music)

(19405 music continues)

(19405 music continues)

(19405 music continues)

(19405 music continues)

(19405 music continues)

(moaning) (music ends)

- Wow.

I mean, that's the most romantic story I've ever heard.

What happened after that?

- Well,

he returned to America during the '50s.

Thirty years had passed since that film was taken.

- He kept it with him all that time?

- Only now when he looked at it,

he saw a graying, paunchy middle-aged man.

- But he hadn't aged a day?

WOW

It must be freaky to be past fifty and still look twenty.

- It was, and he felt like a freak.

He avoided all contact with his old friends.

He felt alienated,

cut off,

so during the '50s he took to the open road.

He was a man without a country.

And a rebel without a cause.

(rock & roll plays)

- [Radio DJ] Hey baby, this is Rubberized Dick, your rockin' sockin' DJ comin'

your way with the most insane play in everyway.

Okay, here we go.

- Let me see that again. - You've seen it five times already.

Look,

I'm telling you, it's not her nipple, it's a staple.

- I mean, I guess you're right.

- Yes, all right. Well look here, I want you to see this.

Read what they said. - Where?

- Bottom of the page, last paragraph.

- His mind drifted back to warm memories of their first meeting.

They had returned to her apartment and fucked until the sun rose.

- See? I'm telling you, they're starting to print it right out.

- Wow.

- Now, look there.

Read there. No asterisk.

- C-U-N-T.

Yeah!

- I'm telling ya this is just the beginning.

If they can get away with this, they can get away with a lot more.

- Did you at least feel her tit?

- Of course. What do you think?

- On top or underneath?

- Underneath.

It don't count on top.

- Was she padded?

- Well, I didn't exactly get inside her brassiere.

- Then it don't count.

- Bullshit!

You're still jerking off in your sister's pants.

- And your mother's got a little asshole.

You! Hey,

hey, hey, heY-

Check out the bumpers on that one.

- Woah.

(rock & roll plays)

- Hey, buddy. (door thuds)

(all chattering)

- That's very nice.

- Hey, come on, we're not (indistinct). Come on!

- Hey, come on.

(rock & roll continues)

. Hey, baby.

You sure wearing that-- - ltsy bitsy.

- Teenie weenie.

- Yellow polka dot.

- Bikini.

- That I had to wear for the first time today?

- Hey, I bet that would make a hit record.

- Hey, where are you going, hot spots?

Why you being so unfriendly?

Let me introduce my boys here.

This is Frankie, and Kookie, and Mickey,

and Jelkie.

And I'm Ringo, and I wanna hold your hand.

- You don't expect me to fall for that old line.

- Old line?

I ain't written it yet!

- Hey, what are you, in a hurry?

- Yes, you stuck up or something?

" Hey, you deaf?

We're talking to you.

- What's the matter? You got the rag on?

- Yes, you in a rush or something?

You got a date with the milk man?

- Hey, keep your hands off.

- Hey, is that your bike?

- No, it's my hula hoop.

- I'd like to hump your hoop.

- Hey, get offa me.

- Hey, Frankie over here (indistinct)...

- Hey, take your mitts off my handles.

- You got such a cute pair of handles, baby.

(rock & roll music) - Hey, I got it.

- Hey, come and get it right here.

- Can't see. - Give it back.

- Can't see.

- Oh, she can't get it.

- Give it back here or I'll scream.

I'll scream. - You say cream?

- Cream. - Scream.

Scream! Get!

(rock & roll music continues)

- Stop that. - No.

(all chatter) - You want cream, baby?

- Put her on the ground, take 'em out. I wanna see what they look like.

- Do it, do it. Pull them out for me.

How many she got? One or two?

- Man, do it.

(engine rumbles)

- Whoa.

Looks like I got here in the click of time.

(motorcycle engine chugs)

Now, you boys stay cool, you just might grow up to be hippies.

You better come with me.

- Oh, you better believe it. I'm coming.

(engine revs)

- Who the fuck was that guy?

- The Lone Ranger, stupid.

L' This is the start of something good P

P We're gonna take off P

J> Take off P

- [Dottie] What do you do?

' [Blue] l g0.

Ijust go) go? g0'

You know what I mean?

P Keep on moving P

P Keep on grooving P

- [Dottie] Aren't you going very slow?

- I like to take my time.

Nice and easy.

B Take off All right P

- Gee, you're not like any of the other boys I know.

- Girl, don't call me boy.

(whistling "Bridge On The River Kwai")

(engine rumbles)

- He'll eat me.

He'll eat me not.

He'll eat me.

He'll eat me not.

He'll eat me.

He'll eat me not.

Hey, when are you gonna stop working on that silly bike?

- I told you, I like to take my time.

Nice and easy.

- What are you doing?

- Fixing my stick shift.

- It's been a long time since you've had your pipes cleaned.

So, what do you do?

- Nothin'.

- Nothing? That's all you do?

- That's right.

- Don't you get bored just playing with your bike?

- No.

- But you look like such a strong, sensitive,

alienated,

shy, sullen,

inarticulate, gentle,

self-destructive,

confused,

disoriented,

uprooted,

angry, scared,

autistic symbol of our times.

- You might be right.

- Why are you throwing your life away?

Don't you see, you could've been somebody.

- I was.

I was a contender.

Itsucked.

- So instead you're a bum?

- That's right.

That's why I came here.

- To Palookaville?

- Hand me that, will you?

(water splashing)

- Come get it.

Come on. Come in and get it.

Come get it.

- Oh, come on. I need that.

- So do I.

- Ehhh...

(rock & roll plays)

- Hey, you! I'll fix your ass.

(Dottie squeals)

P Hey, baby P

P Sure looking good mama P

P Yeah, I know P

P Where you been all this time, mama? P

P (indistinct) you, honey P

P What do you say me and you fool around a little bit now? P

P Oh, I don't know about that P

P You know what I mean, rockin' a little bit now? P

P Oh, we're going rockin' P

P We're going rockin' P

P We're going rockin' P

- Oh, come on baby.

P Yeah, we're going rockin' P

- Take it all.

Come on, swallow it.

(moans)

- Nice girls don't do that.

- Ohh. Oh, Natalie would.

P Rollin' rollin' yeah, rollin' P

(rock & roll continues)

P All right P

(music)

P Hey, baby P

P Oh, hey baby P

All right, mama

l' Baby, oh baby D

l' You got it going on now Baby, baby, baby, baby! P

P We're going rockin' P

P We're going rockin' P

P Yeah, we're going rockin' P

P Hey, give it to me, yeah P

P Oh, yeah, okay We're going rockin' P

P We're going rockin' P

P Yeah, we're rockin' P

P Yeah P

(rock & roll continues)

P Give it to me, yeah P

P Oh baby, we're going rockin' P

P We're going rockin' P

P Yeah oh, we're going r0ckin' P

P Oh, yeah P

P Oh, yeah P

(rock & roll continues)

- Somehow I can't imagine him living that way for too long.

Wasn't he too used to money and comfort?

- You're right, he was, and he's quickly tired

of being broke too,

so he found another way of making money,

and it suited him perfectly.

- And what was that?

- You remember in the '30s he was dealing in booze?

Well, in the '60s he just naturally turned back

towards dealing

drugs.

- Like the hard stuff?

- Mm-uh, no.

No, that wasn't his style,

but there were thousands of young people trying grass and psychedelics.

There was enough of a market out there already just waiting

to be exploited.

- And so he made a lot of money.

- Yes, he did.

It was easy.

He still looked young, he hung around with young people.

Peace marches,

BNs, anti-war rallies,

all the way from Haight-Ashbury to the East Village.

It was easy to find young flower children with enough

of daddy's money still in their pockets eager to try

the latest hallucinogen.

(acid rock music)

- That's Angelina, Free and Sunshine.

- Which one's which?

Are we interrupting something?

- No. They're just doing their thing.

I thought I had a pipe around here somewhere.

(acid rock continues)

- Oh, shit.

The vandals broke the handle.

- I'll just roll a couple of jays.

(acid rock continues)

(moaning)

(doorbell rings)

- I hear bells ringing.

- It's the door. I'll get it.

I wonder who this could be.

- [Blue V.O.] Oh, no. Not mom and dad.

(acid rock continues)

- Well, Jane dear, this is quite a cozy place you have here.

Actually, it's uh, quite nice.

- [Dad V.O.] How can she live in this shit?

- Thanks, dad. I'm glad you like it.

I'm really happy you both decided to visit.

- [Jane V.O.] When the fuck are they gonna stop bugging me?

- Oh, you look marvelous, dear.

Ijust love your outfit.

- [Mom V.O.] Where in the world does she find this shit?

- How's that for communication?

- Mom, I'm learning about life by living it.

All you do is read books about sex.

- Jane, darling.

When I was your age, sex was so taboo I didn't even know

I was supposed to enjoy it.

We knew nothing about the female orgasm.

I couldn't even find my clitoris.

- That's because you looked between the pages instead

of between your legs.

It's right about this area here.

- Jane!

- And a good schtick don't hurt either.

- I knew it. You are on drugs.

- So what?

It takes five martinis to get you and daddy in the sack,

and that's only once a month.

- Not even that anymore.

Your father has a problem.

- You mean...

Dad's got a fickle pickle?

- Shh. Jane, don't be vulgar.

- Bullshit.

All he needs is a little stimulation.

- You don't think I provide it?

I'm attentive,

loving,

supportive.

Well, if you're such an expert, what do you suggest?

- Well, for one thing, do you blow him?

- Blow him?

- Yes. You know, give him head.

- Give him head?

- Come on, mom.

You know what I mean. Suck him off.

- Suck him off?!

- Yes. You breath through your nose and you keep your teeth out of the way.

- Dear, it's getting late.

We really should be going.

It's our bridge night, remember?

- Oh yes, of course.

Well, it certainly has been interesting talking to you.

We've been discussing the generation gap.

You know, this young man has a remarkable, rare understanding

the problems of middle age.

- Well, I'm not as young as I look.

(chuckles)

- Isn't he groovy?

- Tell me, young man, how do you stay young?

- Yes, do tell us.

- Well, do you remember those mistakes you made

when you were young?

- Oh, yes. I, uh, made quite a few.

- Just repeat them.

- Hey man, far-fucking-out.

(burPS)

I am repeating.

Must've been that beer.

(acid rock plays)

- Man, I thought your parents would never leave.

- All that crap about what a cozy place this is.

- They'll never change.

They've always lied to me.

- Yes, you can't trust anyone over thirty.

- Would you believe sixty?

Anyway, I slipped some acid in his beer.

- Oh, wow.

(acid rock plays)

(acid rock continues)

(acid rock continues)

(acid rock continues)

(acid rock continues)

- My god, what a full life you led.

- You can call it that I suppose,

and yet there was always something missing.

A void that grew larger with each passing decade.

(engine rumbling)

- What do you think it was?

- I know what it was.

It was during the '60s on an acid trip

that the revelation came.

- Revelation?

- That nothing can remain the same.

That change is the essence of life,

and that aging is the proof.

That the lack of change is the real death.

- I never thought of it like that.

- Of course not.

You're young.

Neither had I.

But for all those years of youth and beauty,

the payment was alienation.

I was the loneliest man on earth.

- But Darrin, if you had it to choose over again,

wouldn't you still choose youth?

- No. I don't think I would.

You see, I missed the most important things in life.

Growth, love, a connection to humanity.

- Oh, yeah.

You can say that now, but I'd still choose eternal youth.

- Are you sure about that?

- Yes, I am.

(insect noises)

- I guess your party's over.

- Remember, I told you I had enough parties to fill a lifetime.

- Hard to believe you said it this afternoon.

I feel like I've lived a lifetime.

I had a wonderful time today.

- You don't mind kissing an old buzzard?

- What?

- That's what you called me when you watched me

on film this afternoon.

- Oh, yeah.

Come here, you dirty old man.

(gentle music)

(gentle music continues)

(gentle music continues)

(gentle music continues)

(gentle music continues)

- Darrin?

Darrin.

- Darrin.

- Goodbye, Linda.

(somber music)

- Henrietta?

- Darrin.

- Wait. ls that you?

- Oh, Darrin.

- Oh, Henrietta.

P Well now it's real P

P You made that deal P

P Love we have is something that I feel P

b lf it could be forever, P

P and never, never, never P

P make you lose your youth and sex appeal P

P But then you take all, P

P you keep me hanging on. P

P And then you take off P

l' when I look, you're gone. P

J> But if this time, this love P

P comes to push and shove, P

P then ru be taking all with you. P

P It seems a little tragic, P

P that you can't sustain the magic, P

P of love that never changes or gets lost. P

P You keep playing with fire, P

l' but with age you can conspire. P

P You'll have the fun, P

P but pay the cost. P

P But when you take off, P

l' You keep me hanging on P

P But when you take off, P

P and will I let you go? P

J> But if this time, this love P

P comes to push and shove, P

P then ru be taking all with you. P

P All with you. P

b ru be taking all with you. P