All language subtitles for Shameless S11E11 The Fickle Lady is Calling it Quits-eng

How the hell'd
you get in here?

Hey, I'm not gonna tell you

what happened last week
on Shameless, all right?

Go look it up
on goddamn Wikipedia.

I don't want you
to sell the house.

Me, Ian, Carl, Liam...
We're movin' out.

I want Franny
to have what I had.

I want her to grow up
with family.

How about this one?
It's got a heated pool,

- gym, garden.
- It's on the fuckin'

- West Side.
- Can we just talk

to the lady,
take a look at the lease?

I'm not moving here.

Signed the lease.

- You did what?
- It'll be good for us, Mick.

Hey, who's that?

The landlord. He's the guy
who called this in.

Need you to step out
the vehicle, sir.

- Ha ha ha. What?
- I said,

- step out of the vehicle!
- Whoa!

Hey, you gotta be kidding me.
Hey, get off of me, man!

I'm arresting you for
assaulting a police officer.

You and your fancy S-Class
and shiny shoes

are goin' down!

Kev and V
are still in Louisville

helping V's mom settle in.

I accidentally
got a bartending job.

I maybe got offered
a job today, too.

We should sell the Alibi,
move down here, and make bank.

If you weren't all
Mr. Fuckin' Fix It,

I wouldn't be movin'
to the goddamn West Side.

What the fuck
are you gonna do?

Mama's really gonna miss
her family.

- You have dementia.
- Have you all talked about

what to do with me
when it gets bad?

No. But it'll probably
be up to me to figure it out.

Who else is gonna do it?
They all hate you.

Right.

Don't look so glum, kid.

Everybody dies
sooner or later.

I lived a good life.

I got to live it my way.

What do you think?

It's perfect.

*SHAMELESS*
Season 11 Episode 11

Episode Title:
"The Fickle Lady Is Calling It Quits"

Aired on:
April 04, 2021

♪ Think of all
the luck you got ♪

♪ Know that
it's not for naught ♪

♪ You were beaming
once before ♪

♪ But it's not like that
anymore ♪

♪ What is this downside ♪

♪ That you speak of? ♪

♪ What is this feeling ♪

♪ You're so sure of? ♪

♪ Round up
the friends you got ♪

♪ Know that
they're not for naught ♪

♪ You were willing
once before ♪

♪ But it's not like that
anymore ♪

♪ What is this downside ♪

♪ That you speak of? ♪

♪ What is this feeling ♪

♪ You're so sure of? ♪

Shit.

Stupid fuckin' moon.

Last call, guys.

Another round
of appletinis, please.

♪ I got one, two,
99 problems ♪

♪ And the cig in my hand,
it ain't one ♪

Give me your keys
or at least call an Uber.

I'm good, I'm goo...
I'm fine.

Yeah, gluten-free.

Oh, for health.
They smell really good, right?

♪ A glimpse of the climate
change getting warm ♪

- ♪ Let's go have an after-party ♪
- Bars are closing.

Okay. All right.

Fuckin' West Side.

Antoinette, sweet Marie ♪

♪ Chop it off,
squeaky clean... ♪

♪ Down below, buried deep ♪

♪ Let me go, set me free ♪

♪ Body's strong,
but mentally ♪

♪ Lost my mind, guillotine ♪

Hey.

Hey.

♪ Lost my mind, guillotine ♪

- Thought you moved out.
- Go fuck yourself.

♪ Lost my mind, guillotine ♪

- Mornin'.
- Hey.

You stay up all night again?

Indeed, I have, Officer.

Yeah, I'm an officer,
but what does that even mean?

All I see is lazy cops
who do nothing

or hard-ass cops who don't give
a shit about the community.

It's like I don't wanna be
either one of those,

so what's the point?

What?

- Nothing. Never mind.
- No, no.

Look, I'm sorry, man,
I do, I wanna listen to you,

but could we do it
another time?

My brain can't switch gears
right now.

That's fine.

Jesus... loud!
Early!

Yeah, well, I gotta try
and get this finished.

I wanna list the house
by the end of the week.

Great. Can't wait
to get kicked out soon.

We still having
this conversation?

Are you still uprooting
my daughter and I

from the only home
we've ever known?

No, No.
I'm selling our home

so everybody
can have a nest egg

and buy their own homes.

Whatever.
I'll still be all alone.

Then go find somebody
to be with.

It's not that easy!
I suck at relationships.

I can't take care of you
anymore, Debs.

Of course not.

Look, I got my own family
to worry about.

- So do I!
- We're adults now, okay?

This is what adults do.
They move on, all right?

Guess I'll go off and find some
random old person to marry.

You should do that.

I'll be out of your hair
soon enough... don't worry.

Fuck.

Ohh... gross!

Ew! Ass fuck.

You shit yourself, Frank.

What the fuck?

- Frank.
- I just shat the bed

and pissed myself.

- Ew!
- I'm lost.

Spent. Used up.

- You're just being dramatic.
- I'm hopelessly wandering

in a world I don't recognize.

It's just
a bad morning for you.

Happens to the best of them.

What are you doing today?

Uh... nothing.

Me neither.

Let's have some fun.

- I don't feel like it.
- Come on.

It's like you used to
always tell me.

Either you run the day,
or the day runs you.

I said that?

Just get in the shower.

We're gonna do
some Frank things.

Frank things?

Yeah.

Drinking, scamming...
You know, Frank things.

Okay.

Hey, morning.

Hey.

Where you been?

I, uh, just woke up early,
went for a walk.

Oh.

I slept great last night.
You?

The moon's really fuckin'
bright over here.

I'm pretty sure
it's the same everywhere.

I... guess so.

You wanna check out
the amenities in this place?

I'm gonna get
some laundry done.

Sure you don't wanna
hit up the gym...

go for a little dip
in the pool after?

No. I wanna check to see

when our furniture's
gettin' here.

Meet up after, then.

Yeah, sure.
Not goin' anywhere.

Okay. Yeah, good.

I'm glad we rented this place.

- Carl, morning.
- Arthur.

Beiser's husband
made pound cake.

It's in the break room.
Grab some before it's gone.

Or I could just eat
the crumbs off your vest.

Mm? Oopsy-doopsy.

Got a dog at home, eats up
all the crumbs on the floor.

Know what we call her?

Um... Hoover?

Oh, my God, that would
have been genius.

No, her name's Millie.

Gallagher.

Sergeant Stamps.

Need you to apologize
to Mr. McManus, Carl.

That the guy with
the Merce-Benz?

He's filing a
brutality claim against you.

- Me? What? Why?
- I'm gonna go with

door number two... slamming
the guy against his car.

This can all go away.

Say a few words, "I'm sorry,"
blah, blah, blah.

- Seriously?
- Most likely,

he'll drop the claim.

- It'll save the department 50K.
- So what?

Every time someone complains,

we just apologize
and it goes away?

If the person's a rich a-hole
with an attorney.

Ready?

You got this, Carl.

Mr. McManus,

Officer Gallagher
has something to say to you.

Excuse me
if I don't, uh, do a jig.

I got two dislocated discs
in my neck, thanks to you.

I'm very sorry about that, sir.

I was out of line,
and it won't happen again.

Well, I hope we can all
put this behind us.

Officer Gallagher,
you may go back to work now.

Thank you, ma'am.

That's it?
You're gonna let him

- get off that easily?
- Gallagher, hold up.

I'm a victim here.

Yes. Yes, you are, sir.

I was simply double-parked
in front of my building,

and you slammed my body
up against my car.

I'm sorry about that.

Well, now I know

how every Black person
in America feels.

Did you actually
just say that?

- Say what?
- That you, a privileged

piece of shit who evicts people
from their apartments

can relate to how
Black people feel,

who are literally murdered

at the hands
of the police department?

Well, yes, as a matter of fact,

- I do relate to them.
- No, stop.

I was fine apologizing
to your entitled ass

to make this all go away,

but I can't play this game
anymore.

I spent the last few months
trying to figure out

what kind of cop I wanna be,

and I'll say this,
Sergeant Stamps:

I haven't met a lot of
good role models here.

- Why don't we regroup and...
- But this jagoff

made me realize what
kind of cop I wanna be now.

I'm not sure
you'll have much of a choice

- at this point.
- I wanna be the type a cop

who stands up for those
who don't have a voice...

The lost, the forgotten.

They deserve a fair share,

even if that means rich pricks
like you, Mr. McManus,

have to pay the price

in order to rebalance
the scales of justice.

So, with that being said,

I take my apology back.

Mm-hmm.
I'll see you in court, dickwad.

Gallagher.

Last piece of pound cake!

Goin' once, goin' twice,

sold to Arthur Tipping.

All right.
All the way down.

All the way down.

Hope I don't see
you here again.

I ain't never comin'
back to this shithole.

Then don't try to
kill no more cops or nothin'.

I'll see what I can do
about that.

Really didn't think I was gonna
like it there that much,

but everybody's
so friendly and nice.

How can Louisville be nice

if they don't even have
pro sports teams?

They have good college B-ball.

- That doesn't count.
- Kev!

It happened.

Oh, fuck, please don't tell me

that that picture with me
with a turtleneck

- resurfaced on the Internet.
- I don't know about that.

But the money came through,
deposited into our account.

Look.

Holy shit.

- That's a lot of numbers.
- Eighty large!

- How'd ya score that?
- We sold our house.

You got $80,000
for that piece of shit?

Actually, we got $175,000.

- What?
- Yep.

But we had to pay off
the bank loan.

How'd ya sell it so fast?

Developer left us a note
on our door

sayin' she wanted to buy it.

It's official.
We're movin' to Louisville.

Holy shit, it's official.
We're movin' to Louisville.

Are we really doin' this, V?

Of course we're really
doin' it.

- You sellin' the bar, too?
- I guess so.

- Absolutely.
- And everything in it, V?

I mean, what about this?
What about Hulu Lamp Girl?

I love her.

You didn't even know
she was here, Kev.

I knew exactly where she...

No! Hulu Lamp Girl!

Hey, you guys.

Hey. We sold our house.

Wait. What?

Yeah, they're gonna
become college basketball fans.

Hey, Tommy,
don't ever say that again.

We're movin' to Louisville.

No! Why is everybody
leaving me?

Oh, you can come visit.

We're gonna have plenty of room
in our new house.

Why do you guys have
such a good relationship?

- We work on it.
- Sex.

I can't even find a partner.

Kev, what's wrong with me?

Uh...

Never ask a guy that question.

There is nothin'
wrong with you.

Not true.

Everybody I've ever dated
has treated me like shit.

That's because
you treat yourself like shit.

You have to love yourself

before anyone else
is gonna love you.

Cute.
And total bullshit.

- No, it isn't.
- It is.

That's just what people say
when they can't find a partner.

Where are you goin'?

Find somebody who can
give me a better answer.

Spare some change.

Any little bit will help.

Please.

Anything will help.

- Spare change, please!
- Get out of the street!

Spare change.
Help me feed my family.

We're homeless.

Hey, Frank, isn't this is fun?

- Yeah.
- Hey!

Yo, yo, yo, yo!

What are you fellas doin'?
Gonna get smushed!

- Wait, wh-who is this?
- Oh, what's goin' on?

Name's Lester.
I'm not gonna hurt ya.

Did he say Chester?

Lester.

You were out in the middle
of the street.

Here, take this.

Promise me
you'll go home now.

C-can I lead you
in the right direction?

Twenty bucks is not gonna
cut it... we got bills to pay.

How'd ya know
it was a 20?

I have a keen sense of...

My father has partial vision
in his left eye.

Come on, son, we gotta
go get some more money.

Wait, wait, wait, wait!

Aw, jeez.
Here's a hundy.

Is this enough to keep you guys
out of traffic?

Uh...

- yes, it is.
- Okay.

Great. Now, please, go home.

Stay safe!

Well, that was fun.

Hey, let's go spend some money.

How's it goin'?

This treadmill taken?

What?

Nothin'.

You just go back
to workin'

those ripped, sweaty abs.

Okay, let's see, uh...

cross-country running?

Sure.

Incline... five.

Speed... 20?

Okay.

Shit!

Never put the speed higher
than eight on these new ones.

Thanks.

Virgin?

Only at fancy treadmills.

Just move in?

I did.

Think you'll like it here.

I think I will, too.

Me and my ripped, sweaty abs

will see ya around some time.

♪ Can't hold me back ♪

Shitty-ass moon.

Eh. Looks good.

- Morning!
- Jesus!

Or is it afternoon already?

Your dog's wearing a diaper.

Miss Suzannah.
She's a breeding dog.

It's her time of the month.

That's fuckin' weird.
Hey, you know where

I can find the laundry
in this shithole?

You know, I couldn't help
but notice

that you just hanged
some sort of... curtain?

Sorry. Who are you again?

Melanie Runkin,
on-site manager.

We met after your husband
signed the lease.

From the South Side, right?

- What about it?
- They probably do things

differently down there, but
here at the Arlington Grove,

we have a...
a whites-only policy.

That's some racist-ass shit.

- I'm talking about curtains.
- Oh.

You can read the guidelines
in the CCNRs.

- Come on, Miss Suzannah.
- The CCN what?

Bye!

Poor fucking dog.

It's about
1,600 square feet,

not counting
the back storage area.

Two blocks away from the El.

Kev, we're not keeping
those things.

Yes, we are!

Okay? Yes.

That would be great.

All right, I'll see you there.

That was our commercial
real-estate agent.

He's coming by
to check out the Alibi.

He said it should sell
pretty easily.

That's our cue to go.

What? Why?

If you're selling, we need to
start dating other bars.

We gotta find our new home.

Wait, so th-that's it?
You're just leavin' us?

See ya.

V, we need to slow down
a little bit here.

We are moving forward.

All of this
is in our rearview mirror!

Not mine!

- Yo. What up?
- Hey.

- Hey, I'm glad to see you.
- Hey, yeah, I, uh, came by

to grab the sink
from Stan's old apartment?

You guys said I could
have it for the remodel?

Yeah, yeah, come on.
I'm really glad you're here.

I... I need a guy chat
right now, I'm...

I-I need some support.

Well, I'm kind of pressed
for time... can it wait?

Not really.

- Hey, Lip.
- Yeah.

You can ransack our place.
Take whatever you need.

- What do you mean?
- We sold our house.

Wait, wait, wait... you what?

Uh-huh. Yeah.

We did.

I'm just hearin'
about this now?

Well, that's what
I wanted to talk to you about.

You know? I'm feeling
a little unmoored here.

You guys didn't even do
any renovations.

No, buyers are just gonna
knock it down.

Fuck me.
Who is this person?

Developer.
Left a note in our door.

I'm sure she left one
in yours, too.

They wanna buy three houses
on the block.

You serious? I been bustin' my
ass to fix the place to sell,

and you guys get an offer
just like that?

175 large.

Shit.

- You still got that note?
- I should. Let me check.

Hey, Lip?

- Lip.
- Yeah.

Guy chat? Kitchen sink?

Yeah, shit, I'm sorry, Kev.

This is kind of a lot
for me to process right now.

- Yeah, how do ya think I feel?
- Ah, here it is.

Yeah.

All right, I'ma call her
right now.

And, Kev, I'll call you
later, all right?

Yeah, sure thing.
Great talk. Thanks.

Bye.

Fuck.

You guys aren't gonna be
my neighbors anymore.

Despite all of this
potentially turning

into a major lawsuit
for the department,

I was very inspired
by your speech.

Thank you, sir...
Uh, ma'am.

Ha. Reminded me of why
I became a police officer

- in the first place.
- Really?

Your words...
Mm, mm, mm...

Brought a tear to my eye.

- Is that so?
- Yes.

It was beautiful.
But you made the wrong choice.

Went against the department.

So you're gonna fire me?

Oh, no, no, no, no.
I can't fire you.

Union won't let me.
But I can demote you.

- Demote me?
- Hmph.

Welcome to your new job,
Meter Maid Gallagher.

Ha ha.

Mmm.

Oh. Ahh.

I missed your fucking green
little leprechaun ass.

Jack-fuckin'-pot, baby.

Hey, Tami.

Hey.
We were just talking

about all the hair you grow
during a pregnancy.

Oh, God,
don't remind me.

Whenever I would shave
my thighs,

it would grow back
the next day.

It was like I was
living in hair shorts.

Kids are a pain
in the ass.

Uh, what are you doin' here?
Need a haircut?

I need a life.
I'm trying to figure out

how to find a relationship
that lasts.

- You single?
- Yeah.

Ooh, lucky!

No. I hate it.

Why?

I mean,
I don't want to be alone.

Well, I wish I were
sometimes.

Ooh, me too!

How can you guys say that?

- Easier.
- Yeah, you get to make

all the decisions yourself.

Don't have to deal
with anybody else's baggage.

- Exactly.
- No.

I want someone
to share a life with.

I mean, I wanna
take care of someone.

I don't know, Debs.

I-it's possible

you might be alone
the rest of your life.

What the hell
is that supposed to mean?

I just mean that your parents
were really shitty role models.

Yeah, they were
pretty shitty.

Yeah. They didn't
teach you how to connect,

be vulnerable,

resolve conflict,
communicate, compromise.

Damn, that's some real talk!

I didn't even know those were
things I was supposed to do.

Yeah, and it's not your fault

that you don't know
those things.

Yeah. It's Frank's fault.

Yeah. It is.

I mean, he ruined love for me.

Thank you, doll.

See you soon, Frank.

Bye.

Sounds like everything
worked out okay

in the romance department.

I don't know about romance,

but I'm still
really good at fucking.

Frank Gallagher's still got it.

Mm.

Whoo.

Forgot your towel?

Yeah, I didn't even
think of it.

Here. We have extras.
They're clean.

- Thank you.
- We're in apartment 203.

Just bring it back some time.

- Washed.
- Alan. Of course

he's gonna wash it
before he returns it.

I don't know... he didn't shower
before he jumped in the pool.

- Oh...
- Don't listen to him.

He's a stickler for rules.

- It's written right there.
- Sorry about that.

Didn't see it,
but won't happen again.

I promise, Alan.

I'll let it go this time.

- Thanks.
- You just move in?

I did. With my husband.

Here.

Sit, sit.

I'm Jill.
And Alan, of course.

- Ian.
- So, Ian,

what do you do,
besides contaminate our pool?

Stop, Alan!

It has chlorine in it.

He's only joking with you.

That's okay, I don't mind.

I, uh, have actually

never lived in a place
like this before,

so this is all new to me.

I grew up on the South Side
my whole life.

Well, you're gonna love it
on the West Side.

There's so much to do
over here.

The restaurants, cafes...

yoga studios.

- Hey, buddy.
- Hey, what are you doin' here?

Came by to see how your first
day in the new job was.

I think I'm gonna like it...

Drill on the street
and whatnot.

Finally feel like
I have a purpose.

Good for you.

What are you doin'
in that thing?

Sometimes I like to take it
for a little joy ride.

Usually people take out
a Landi or a 'Stang

for a joy ride.

Arthur Tipping takes out
the meter maid vehicle.

Hey, I know you don't think
I'm very adventurous.

- True statement.
- But I can prove you wrong.

How? You gonna steal a doughnut
from 7-Eleven?

Break up a fight
on a playground?

Talk too loud in church?

I happen to have
a very wild side.

Ha ha!

You know
the "Renegade" Challenge?

Yeah? What of it?

You and me, let's go.

We're officers of the law.

And I'm on duty.

What's that I hear?
You're a scared little pussy?

Bitch, you don't know
what you're talkin' about.

And you're not on TikTok.

Oh, ho ho.

- "Renegade" plays...
- Oh, my God.

That's my song!

Renegade, renegade,
renegade, renegade

Go go go go

Fuck you.

Watch and learn, nerd.

♪ Like I hit the lottery,
the lottery ♪

♪ Hos a trip, watch 'em
how they fall on me ♪

♪ Hunnys blue,
yeah, I got 'em all on me ♪

♪ Go go go go ♪

♪ Go, let's go ♪

♪ Mm, Prada shoes ♪

♪ Yeah, I keep a style on me ♪

♪ Style on me, pretty freaks ♪

♪ Make them bitches
pile on me ♪

♪ I swear, rack party ♪

♪ I got 30 thou on me
right now ♪

♪ Go go go go go ♪

Go, let's go

- Hey.
- Hey.

- You Lip?
- Yeah, yeah.

- Hey, Flavia.
- Hi.

- Thanks for reaching out.
- Yeah, yeah, you got it.

So, uh, look, I got the note
you left on our door,

and, uh, the Balls said
you bought their house?

Oh, my boss did.
I'm just helpin' her out.

She's lookin' for three
houses in a row on this block,

and we just acquired that one.

Oh, the old Milkovich house.

So... so my house
would be the third.

If you're willin' to sell.

Could offer you 200K
for the land.

New development goin' up.

Oh, you're pushin' people
out, huh?

You know folks have lived
here for generations.

- Be unrecognizable soon.
- I got another appointment

in, uh, ten minutes, so...

Do we have a deal?

I could, uh, send over
the paperwork for you to sign.

Money would be wired
into your account

in under two weeks.

Look, since I'm
the last man standing

and, uh, you need my house
to finish the project,

seems only fair
I get more than $200.

Well, how much you thinkin'?

I couldn't see myself selling
for less than $300.

We could, uh, probably
make $250 work.

Two seventy-five?

You drive a hard bargain,
Mr. Gallagher.

Let me talk to my boss.

Thank you.

Get out of the road, Grandma!

What the fu...

I can go faster than you
with my eyes closed

- and my dick in my hand.
- Yeah, very, very funny.

All right, nothin' to see.
Move along.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Please, please, please,
I'm right here, I'm right here.

Sorry. Meter's expired.

I know. I remembered
when I was already in line.

I didn't wanna leave
and lose my spot, man.

Come on, you know how long
it takes in the post office.

Look, I'm just doin'
my job, buddy.

Oh, fuck.

How much is the ticket?

I got furloughed last week,
and...

Hey, shit for brains,
better not ticket my car.

Seriously, have you nothing
better to do

than be a bottom-feeding
scumbag

who can't make a living
any other way?

You know what?
You can go, son.

- What?
- Yeah.

Seriously, no ticket for you.

- Seriously?
- Seriously.

I'm the type a cop
who gives the poor man a break

every single time,
no questions asked.

Okay, great.
Thank you.

However, as for you,

I'm going to make
people like you pay

every single time.

You rich fucks are goin' down.

Hey, girls, I need
to tell you somethin'.

Sometimes
change needs to happen,

and when it does,
at first, it's really hard.

But in the long run,

it's always for the best.

Well, not always. I mean,
I had to change foster families

from the Butterfields
to the Carrias,

and that wasn't so great.

The Carrias liked to
beat me with belts

and slippers and hairbrushes.

Yeah, come to think of it...

change is really, really bad.

Kev, what are you doin'?
Just tell them.

Girls, we are leaving Chicago

and moving to Louisville.
Cool? Cool.

That's exactly what
I was doing,

but I was trying to
do it in a delicate way.

Well, it wasn't workin'.

Afternoon,
my fellow Americans.

- Hey, Frank!
- The finest beer

- for me and my son.
- I'll take a Coke.

Hey, Frank.
Been waitin' for you.

- Ohh!
- Hey!

Hey, are you okay?
Debbie, the hell you doing?

Back up, Liam!
You ruined love for me!

I'll be alone
the rest of my life!

That's true!

The only way
you'll ever have love

is to find someone who's even
a bigger loser you are.

Then they won't leave you!

- Ah! Jesus!
- Get off!

Come on, Franny.

Are you okay
She break anything?

You all right there, Frank?

Never better.

Guess we can scratch
bar fight off the list.

Mm... God!

Kev, there's something
wrong with the beer.

- I tapped it this morning.
- It tastes like poison.

- It's fine.
- Maybe try bottled beer.

Yeah, can you get him
a Heisler, V?

What the hell, Frank?

My body's rejecting alcohol.

Jesus, Frank.

Here, try these.

- I'm scared.
- It's just like you told me.

Feel the fear and do it anyway.

I said that?

I'm sure you intended to
at some point.

It's no use, son.

Who am I without alcohol?

You're Frank Gallagher!

It's my one true love.

But now she's rejecting me.

Oh, shit.

You again.

Well, I am the on-site manager.

- How can I help you?
- Haven't gotten

- our furniture yet.
- Okay.

You know when it's comin'?

I'm not exactly sure
why I would know that.

Where did you order it from?

Order it? No.
It's the shit you guys had.

I want to help you,
but I'm very confused.

The furniture,
like in the apartment

on the tour you showed us...
Where's ours?

Oh!

I get it now.

The apartments,
they don't come with furniture.

- Wait, what?
- They're unfurnished.

Why the hell'd you show us
one that had furniture, then?

Uh, that was a model.

Huh?

An example of how an apartment
can look.

Okay, hold on.
So we don't get any furniture.

No, I'm sorry.
But that is very cute.

I've never had anyone
ask me that before.

It's not fucking cute, lady,
you should've told us that shit

before we signed
the stupid-ass lease.

You and your fuckin'
weird-ass dog.

Don't tell me I'm fuckin' cute

for your fuckin' bullshit,
lady.

Fuck it!
You owe me some chairs.

Excuse me.

- You can't take those.
- Like hell I can't, bitch!

But they're
for everyone.

Well, guess they shouldn't
charge so much rent

for an apartment don't
have no fuckin' furniture!

You gotta put
the chair back, Mickey.

What the hell are you
doin' in the pool?

This is Jill and Alan.

I don't give a shit
if it's Siegfried & Roy.

I'm out here gettin' harassed
left and right

from everybody in this dump,

and you're in the pool playin'
fuckin' footsie with these two!

It's fine.

Hey, you can't take the chairs.

We're gonna get fined
or evicted.

You know,
I don't give a shit!

You know what? Fuck you
and the horse you rode in on,

just like everybody else
in the fuckin' West Side!

This place blows!
I'm out of here!

That your husband?

Yep.

Passionate.

Yep.

All right, just
a couple more minutes, love.

Hey! Hey, hey, hey.

- Guess what.
- Hey, babe.

Brought back
the cleaning supplies.

Don't need it anymore.
We're sellin' the house.

I know, that's... that's why
you've been spending

- so much time on it.
- No, I mean we're selling

the house, like, right now,
right?

I just talked to a realtor
who works for a developer

who wants to buy up
three houses on the block.

She already got two, including
Kev's... she gave him $175.

All cash.
Offered me $200.

I said I wouldn't do it
for less than $275.

- Isn't that amazing?
- Okay, whoa, slow down.

- What?
- What are you talking about?

Well, I'm talkin' about us
finally having enough money

to buy our own place.

Yeah, but you turned down
$200,000?

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
so I could make $275.

Right?

I mean, it was a tactic.
I was workin' her over.

You should've seen me.
You would've been impressed.

- I was good.
- Okay, but I'm confused.

So she... she gave you
the $275?

No, no, no, not yet,
but she will,

and the best part is,
I don't have to spend

any more money
workin' on the house, right?

I mean, developer's
just gonna tear it down.

Look, you know what?

I'm gonna tear out
some a the new shit

I put in the house.

I'm gonna sell it, all right?

Oh, shit, it's Heidi.

That's right, cockroaches!

Heidi's back.

Thank you for your hospitality.

That don't make up for you
being a shitty mama, though.

You want me to put

your TV program on for you?

There ya go.

Those fucking rat-ass
neighbors of yours!

Don't be sad
if I shoot some of them.

You are excused
for being a shitty car.

Shitty car.
Shitty car.

You, however, are not.

Pow!

Oh, no, please,
hey, come on.

I'm right here.
Don't give me a ticket, hey.

Sorry, miss.
The meter's expired.

Wha... Carl!

Tish. You're pregnant.

You're a meter maid.

You have a Lexus?

It's my boss's.

She lets me borrow it
sometimes.

The driver's seat in my car

doesn't really go back
far enough.

The steering wheel
digs into my belly.

Oh. Yeah.

Are you still gonna
give me a ticket?

Of course not.
If I didn't know you, I would.

That's my new mission in life...
Fuck over the rich.

- That's a good mission.
- Thanks.

How long you been
a meter maid?

I really hate that name.
I prefer something else.

- Like what?
- I don't know.

Meter Master maybe.

Oh! How about, um...
Ticket Titan?

Ah, that's good, too.
Parking Punisher?

Oh, sexy.
Sultan of the Summons.

I am the Lord of the Late Fees.

I gotta get back to work.

Hey, Tish.

Is that my baby?

Thanks for not giving me
a ticket.

Wee whoo, wee whoo, wee whoo.

Yeah. I hear
the sirens, too, Franny.

Maybe Grandpa was right.

Why?

Mommy's a loser.
What can I say?

Mama's a loser.

It's true.

If I find a bigger loser
than me,

maybe then
they won't leave me.

Wouldn't that be nice,
Franny?

- Having another mommy?
- I want two mommies!

Me too.

If only I can find a loser
bigger than me,

- then I won't be alone...
- Don't say a fucking word.

Everything's gonna be fine.

Just go along
with what I'm about to do,

otherwise I'll shoot your kid.
In the head.

That was nice.

Yeah. Kind of was.

I'm Heidi.

Debbie.

Honey, we're home.
Did you miss us?

Well, if it isn't
Judas and Brutus.

Sorry, V.
We should never have left you

for another bar...
Beer, please.

- Me too.
- Where's Kev?

We wanna apologize to him, too.

Brought the girls
to a playdate,

Trying to see all their friends
before we leave.

I'm not gonna lie, V.
It was brutal out there.

Other bars are chargin'
$12 a drink.

And they have
all kinds of rules.

Couldn't take off my shoes.

- No napping.
- Wouldn't let us run a tab.

Two-drink minimum.

Can't sit down
unless you order food.

One place wouldn't even let us
in without a valid I.D.

And that one bar
that wanted a credit card

before we even ordered
anything?

- Total scam.
- Well, I hope you two

learned your lesson.

Please forgive us.

Well...

look who's back.

Benedict and Arnold.

Kev.

- Sorry.
- Hmph.

- How are the girls, babe?
- Great. They're gonna have

dinner over there,
watch the Trolls movie,

and Calise's mom's
gonna drop 'em off later.

Where'd you get
these books from?

- The library.
- What?

Yeah, near Calise's house.
Can you believe it?

We're about to move, and I find
out we live next to a library.

Who knew?

- Well, what'd ya get it?
- Well, I went in there

to ask that woman
who works there...

- The librarian?
- Long gray hair, glasses,

oversized corduroy jumper?

- Yeah, that's her.
- That's her.

- That's the one.
- Yeah.

Okay, well, I asked her
if she had books on Kentucky,

and check it out...
I'm gonna learn everything

there is to know about
that dumb old state.

Oh, babe, you're the best!

I know.

Hey, do you know the guy
on the penny

- was born in Kentucky?
- Abe Lincoln.

You read these books, too?

Shit.

Hey, Howie, here, let me, uh,
let me give a hand

with that, man.

Here ya go, man.

Give ya $200 for it.

Yeah, good, good.

- Wife's gonna love it.
- Cool, thanks, man.

Yo, knuckleheads,
get over here.

- Yo, Lip.
- Yeah, yeah.

- You selling that microwave?
- Yeah, everything.

- Everything's gotta go.
- How much?

Uh, I paid $150 for it,
so just give me 100 for it.

- Hundred?
- Thanks, man.

- Hey, Lip.
- Thank... thank you.

Hey. Hey, there ya are.

I was, uh, I was waitin'
on your call,

- but in person's even better.
- Yeah, the, uh,

the guy carrying out
your stove

said I could find you
back here.

Yeah, yeah, we're ju... we're
getting rid of everything,

you know,
especially if your boss

- is gonna tear the place down.
- Oh, yeah, um, about that.

Yeah. What's up?

Uh, she doesn't wanna
buy your house now.

What?

Y-you said she needs
three houses, right?

Yeah, she got them.

Uh... I don't understand.

The man who lives
on the other side of the Balls,

he closed his deal.

Old man Jefferson
sold his house?

For $200,000.

I-I didn't even know
you made him an offer.

It's business.
My boss is very savvy.

I encouraged you
to take her offer earlier.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Uh...

All right, well, look, look,

I'll just take
the original offer, uh,

that's $200, that's good.

Sorry.

How much for
the fridge, Lip?

Um...

You okay, Frank?

Uh-huh.

It's like the doctor said.

You have good days
and bad days, right?

That's right, son.

I had a fun time with you.

Oh, yeah?

What'd we do?

I don't think
you ate enough today.

Probably right.

I'm gonna get food.

Back at it again tomorrow?
We'll do more Frank things.

You got it, son.

- Hiya, Frank.
- Hey.

What's goin' on in here?

Oh, uh, the renovations.

You know, I'm fixing up
the house to...

I know what you're doing.

Yeah?

You're looking
for that brick of gold we hid

when you were 12 years old,
aren't you?

I, uh...

I-I was.

- I knew it!
- Busted.

Ha ha ha!

Son!

Don't you remember?

Uh, what's that?

- We buried it.
- Right. Oh, yeah.

- In the backyard.
- No, that's... that's right.

So no one would find it,
except you and me.

Now... now... now I remember.
Yeah.

Good thing I'm here.

I guess I'm gonna put
the kitchen back together now.

We're gonna be rich tomorrow.

Mellow guitar

Shit.

You're adorable.

I feel the same way about you.

There's a lot
about me, though,

that you probably
aren't gonna like.

Oh, God, don't even
get me started.

Me too.

- Like what?
- Pfft, for starters,

teen mom, uh...

raped a guy once.

Stole a baby.

Almost drowned a girl.

I beat the shit out of...

so many people.

Once I drugged my half-sister

and locked her
in a shipping crate.

Aw. Child's play.

- Really?
- Hell, yeah.

- None of that bothers me.
- Good.

How about you?

- Oh, okay, you ready for this?
- Go.

Okay, let's start...
When I'm six, uh,

I bit a chunk off my mom's
boyfriend's face

while he was sleeping.

Hey.

What are you doin' over here?

Watchin' a bunch a jackasses
try the cinnamon challenge.

You comin' back
to the apartment?

I like it better
on the South Side.

You haven't really given
the West Side a shot.

Look, I don't fit in
over there, man.

Neither do I.

But... you know,
I'd like to try.

Guess that's the difference
between you and me.

We paid first, last,
and security.

And they were supposed to
give us some fuckin' furniture.

- We could buy our own.
- We're not gonna

agree on anything... we'll have
different tastes and shit.

So you're gonna stay here,
and I'm gonna live over there.

Looks like it.

It's nicer there.

Well, I guess
I don't like nice.

- Don't you want a better life?
- No.

- Why?
- 'Cause it's too much...

It's too much fuckin'
pressure, all right?

Okay.
I understand.

Shit makes me feel
uncomfortable.

Fine.

Ahh.

Fine what?

Fine, we'll stay here, then.

Why?

Well, 'cause you're my husband.

If you're not happy there,
then we don't have to be there.

Don't do that shit.

Don't do what?

- Guilt trippin' me.
- I'm not.

Yeah, you are...
You're doing the whole

reverse fuckin' psychiatric
whatever the fuck.

I swear... I'm not.

What cinnamon challenge
things are you watching?

God damn it.
All right, we'll go back.

What?

I'm not changin'
for anybody, though.

Nobody wants you to change.

Those gentrifyin'
motherfuckers do.

All right,
maybe you could change

an eensy, teensy little bit

and not steal anything
in the apartment complex.

That's what I'm sayin'.
I feel fuckin' handcuffed!

That's all I'm asking for.

You can do anything else
you want.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Can I piss in the pool?

- Ugh. Really?
- Yep.

All right, fine, but I want you
to come to a yoga class.

- Yo... no fuckin' way!
- All right, Whole Foods

so we can stare
at the organic fruit.

Jesus, really? That's what
you wanna fuckin' do?

I'm letting you piss
in the pool.

Fine.

You are such a fuckin'
barbarian.

Thank you.

Oh, shit.

That's why they call it
Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Learn something new
every day.

- You ready, babe? I'm tired.
- Yeah, let's do it.

Do you know that two women
from Louisville

invented
the "Happy Birthday" song?

Oh, my goodness.

- Look at this.
- What?

- Photo...
- Oh.

Of you, me, and Stan.

That's when we first
started workin' here.

How long ago
you think this was?

It's at least 15 years ago.

Wow.

I cannot believe we're
uprooting our entire life.

Everything we worked
so hard for.

Oh...

I knew there was emotion
in there.

We're leaving
everything behind.

Hey, V.

It's gonna be okay.

Wait a minute.
Are you faking?

Totally.
Rearview mirror, Kev.

Let's go.

That was just mean.

Sh...

Fuck!

Oh, fuck!

Hey, Kev.

V!

Sync corrections by srjanapala

♪ A little messed up,
do you feel it? ♪

♪ A little bit a this
and a little bit a that ♪

♪ She wanna know which way
I'm leanin' ♪

♪ Am I really made of this,
am I really made of that? ♪

♪ And is it so bad
if you need me? ♪

♪ Just a little bit, whoa,
don't get rid of me ♪

♪ But love is so blind
when you feel it ♪

♪ Can't defeat it,
hope you're feeling ♪

♪ High hopes ♪

♪ High hopes ♪

♪ Ah, that's so much better. ♪

♪ High hopes ♪

♪ High hopes ♪

♪ I'ma talk like ♪
♪ I don't really mean it ♪

♪ Bless me, St. John's,
I'ma act ♪

♪ Like I don't really
need it ♪

♪ Bet you see these funds,
they gon' cheer me up ♪

♪ Brand-new whip,
sound like Cheerio ♪

♪ Wake me up,
Rey Mysterio ♪

♪ Ah, yeah, hey, wipe my eyes ♪

♪ Cant' see clearly, though,
I been on the block ♪

♪ Boy move soft
like some cereal, ah, hey ♪

♪ High hopes with you man,
I wanna see you again ♪

♪ High hopes with you man,
I wanna see you again ♪

♪ Yeah, I don't think
you good at keepin' secrets ♪

♪ All the bags on the floor
make you heated ♪

♪ Blind my eyes,
boy too bright ♪

♪ He got them sequins ♪

♪ Man, I hope you comin' back
to cop that free shit ♪

♪ Back to cop
that free shit ♪

♪ That's elite shit,
high hopes ♪

♪ High hopes ♪