Original subtitles

Halt!

Mescaleros!

- Sir, should I order an attack? - No, wait.

It's their chief. He's coming to negotiate.

Damn, he's huge!

If the whole tribe is like him, we're in trouble!

- Translate. - It's a simple Indian greeting.

He said Manitù wants us to release the prisoner.

No, never!

If we don't release the prisoner, thousands of Indians

will come down from the mountain to slaughter us.

I don't think it's necessary to start a war

for a simple horse thief.

Release him.

Alright, sir.

He wants a horse too.

Do it.

Sergeant!

Release the prisoner!

Get down!

Move it!

There's something fishy going on...

Dummies on a stick!

Manitù has nothing to do with it.

I'd like to know when you'll stop stealing horses.

So I can finally be free, and not have to save your life.

Now we'll have the entire US cavalry on our trail.

It's no use playing the dumb Indian, Girolamo!

Just looking at your dumb face, I swear I lose my appetite.

- Does that seem fair? - Blood pact. Your blood, my blood.

What blood pact?

We only had one transfusion, because you were sick.

I'm already regretting it!

You break Girolamo's balls!

I'm going west, and you're returning to your village.

We're parting ways. Is that clear?

Clear, blurry... fuck do I know?

Girolamo, will you stop following me?

Me, your friend. You, kind.

You know they'd spot us immediately.

You, with your feather, and me with my hat.

We make blood pact!

Blood!

We're not blood brothers, enough with the blood pact.

- We just did a transfusion. - You no friend of Girolamo.

I just hope a train comes by.

No train!

Girolamo.

Here, no train!

- Have a good trip, Professor. - Goodbye.

- Right on time, Professor. - As always!

- May I help you? - No, I never separate from it.

There's a fortune in here.

The way you treat it, must be worth as much gold as it weighs!

Much more, my friend.

Thank you.

Cover your glass or it will get dusty.

Sorry, Carlotta.

These trains out west leave much to be desired.

Not to mention certain passengers!

That's not all!

They say the area we're crossing is infested with outlaws and rebel Indians.

Are we safe on this train?

Well... it's safe to say...

we're among savages.

What is he saying? You speak his language, do something!

Help us, please.

I understand perfectly the language of this damned red face.

I'll try to find out what he wants.

I don't understand. He wants us to hand over the treasure.

Treasure? What treasure?

No, please let go of my suitcase.

What are you doing? It's priceless.

He wants a hostage. Any volunteers?

No one?

Alright. I guess I'll go.

Great man.

I'm sorry, he chose you.

He'll kill us all.

Do it for us.

Do it for our children.

Children, huh?

Alright.

I'll be a hostage.

Thank you!

You're a hero. We won't forget it.

Your face will forever be etched in my memory.

I hope not, ma'am.

Girolamo!

There...

There goes my restaurant. Every time I start eating, you arrive.

What treasure? Knock it off!

And move those dummies.

What dummies?

Those.

Mescaleros!

Mesca-what?

One of these days I'll kill you!

You even had me doing somersaults.

Nice profit we made. Two lost horses.

Momo angry, Girolamo pissed off!

Girolamo goes.

Big house, Momo!

Here we eat! No pay.

Let's go!

How nice!

Giro!

Me not steal, not cheat!

How I get money from closed thing?

Food!

Do you think someone woke up?

What is it? What's going on here?

Who sends you?

- Sorry about the noise, I can explain. - There's nothing to explain!

- Who sends you? - Go back to Colorado Slim

and tell him that the Logans won't be intimidated.

- Is that clear? - Clear?

Let's go see what they stole. Follow me.

If they did, I'll give them a lesson to remember. Cover for me.

Yes, yes.

See that?

- A real treasure! - Priceless stuff!

You could've told us who you were.

Who could've imagined? We could never afford it.

Providence sent you here so you can save our daddy.

And who's the son?

Me, Popsy,

honorable Doctor.

- Me, a doctor? - Yes, Doctor.

And where is this... sick man?

Grandpa more there than here. Let's go.

When did he get sick?

During lunch, Doctor.

Lucky him!

And what was he eating?

Nothing. My daddy isn't a young man anymore.

He eats lightly in the evenings now.

Sausages with beans, mutton stew

and fried pork with onions and peppers.

And to top it off, a cooked pear.

- Cooked pears are hard to digest. - No. I digested them just fine!

Alright, I'll need a whole pot of beans,

- and all the sausages you have. - I'm sorry, daddy ate it all.

Wouldn't you know...

Will you kindly leave us alone?

My nurse and I must examine the patient.

Certainly, Doctor. Take care of my daddy!

We don't need a doctor, we need a miracle!

No, we need to go!

Grandpa, good.

"Colic."

Just like horses get.

"Keep the patient...

raised."

Just like horses.

"Hot decoction."

Just like horses.

"Asparagus powder."

Asparagus powder?

Poor grandpa!

It's still powder.

"Have the patient drink oil..."

Momo, not oil!

Oil... petroleum.

It's all the same, oil is oil.

Go, go, go!

I go!

It's been years! Years! My bowels are liberated!

- Our daddy is saved! - It's a miracle!

- Thank you! - Doctor, you're great!

Bon appetit, Doc.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

- These are still warm. - Very good.

Doc, you're gonna eat all this stuff?

Sure! Because eating is a matter of science.

To me it's just a matter of hunger. Maybe because I'm ignorant.

Exactly, this is called "abundantful" nutrition.

And it mainly serves the functioning of the "nevronitic" system,

which in turn prevents the indigestion of the gastric juices.

I'd add some honey, wouldn't you?

Honey, Grandpa? Well...

I'll go with honey, but...

So...?

Made up your mind, Logan?

Colorado Slim sends me to pick up the signed paper.

Right. Your paper!

Look what I'll do with it.

Too bad! You're losing a good deal.

A good deal?

Giving up my farm for nothing?

Isn't your old hide worth anything? And hers? And his?

And who are you?

I haven't seen you around here before.

I have nothing to do with it. I am only here to eat.

Nobody eats or drinks here!

Get off your horses!

I don't know who you are or what you want.

But there's just one thing I can't stand.

Being disturbed while I eat.

On your feet!

Get up!

Take two horses. Go on!

Change of horses. We leave in half an hour.

Colorado Slim. Him again!

That bastard wants to raze this town to the ground.

He doesn't know what he's up against now.

No.

Let's not fool ourselves. Those four were just lousy henchmen.

Colorado has other, more dangerous ones.

That's true. The sheriff killed at least ten of those bandits.

But, I don't get it. Their number keeps rising instead dropping.

At this point, I'm the only one left defending this city.

Look around.

Yucca was a town full of life,

and it's becoming a desert.

There, look.

Thanks to those bandits, a shop closes every day,

and a family leaves, looking for a more peaceful place.

There's no longer security or laws, nor courts or judges.

If that's not enough, the closest doctor is 50 miles away.

Wrong, you've got one right under your nose.

This one?

Exactly.

He's a doctor, a professor, a medical wizard!

He healed my father. He got him back on his feet!

Aside from the bag,

you don't look like a doctor, my friend.

Aside from my bag, as you say,

my nurse and I lost our baggage during our trip.

We have nothing left.

Don't worry. You'll have everything for free. You're a doctor.

And we need you. You'll have clothes, food and lodging.

- Food you say? - Food!

In abundance!

- In that case... - In that case, welcome, Doc.

- Thanks for your help! - It was so quick, I didn't have time.

Besides, I'm a doctor. I don't like to shoot.

Damn it! I have to keep defending this flock of sheep by myself!

- What did they take, Morgan? - Everything, all the deposits.

But this is the last time.

What do you mean?

I'm sorry, but I've only one life. I'm closing the bank and leaving.

You can't give up! Without bank loans, we can't buy equipment and seeds.

We'll be ruined!

Then follow me and abandon this cursed town.

- No way! - You can't leave us like this!

One minute, Doctor. I have to retake the measurements.

Arm, 75.

Forearm, 32.

Shoulder, almost 100!

You can relax, Doctor. I did my best, but...

you must be used to important tailors.

- It's not bad. - Thank you!

The other suits will be ready tomorrow.

As well as the 12 shirts!

Speaking of the 12 shirts...

Please don't talk about money!

Mrs. Brown...

Let's not talk about money!

- But... - No! Don't insist, please.

You can pay after the first few visits. Some tea?

- With biscuits? - Certainly.

Come, I'll show you the house.

Sure, I'd like that.

Please.

We won't eat this time, either!

Please.

This room can become the infirmary. And that can be a waiting room.

Patients could enter from here or the courtyard.

You can decide that.

Won't we bother you?

No.

This home has become too big for us since my husband passed away.

Oh, he was a sheriff.

Yes, and the current sheriff was his assistant.

If my father were still around, this wouldn't be happening.

That's why Colorado Slim betrayed and killed him.

Colorado Slim?

He would've done anything for this town.

The people of Yucca loved him very much.

I am very proud of him.

He had many initiatives. See that well?

There was a drought and he dug it with his own hands.

It's true, Doctor.

He was a very bright man.

Instead of finding water, he found a bullet in his back.

He shouldn't have trusted those who were supposed to watch his back.

Girolamo...

- Did you tell the restaurant I haven't eaten in 5 days? - Yes.

- Yes? - Yes. Let's go.

Let's go.

Good morning, Doctor.

Hello, Doctor.

Hello!

Have the bags unloaded from the stagecoach.

Two steaks. Hurry!

Hey, boys! The doctor is here!

- Hello, Doc! - Hey, hello!

Hello, Doctor!

Where's the restaurant?

- Sorry? - The eatery!

That way. Excuse me. Hurry, get to work!

Doctor.

- Here, Sheriff. - Good day.

Please!

What would you like, Doctor?

To start, a bowl with water and lemon.

Alright. A bowl with water and lemon for the doctor.

Doctor.

Here, Doctor.

- Do you have any olives? - Sadly not, but we have beans.

They're round as well, beans are fine.

Alright. Beans for the doctor.

This lemon, not egg.

Enjoy.

Anything else, sir?

- Bring the second course. - Right away.

What would you like, Doctor?

- Everything. - What?

- Everything! - Alright, Doctor.

Anything left in the kitchen is for the doctor.

- Bon appetit, Doc. - Thanks.

The chef's dish.

Cooked with my own hands.

Country turkey.

He who eats it, asks for seconds.

Who's in charge here?

I am a Chinese cook, sir, not a Samurai.

Can't we share it as good friends?

Good appetizer!

Want to get serious now?

Chan!

Clear the table. Hurry!

Quickly, girls.

Come on!

Take away everything and set the table again.

Ready? Go!

A banana bunch for the doctor!

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8...

9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14...

15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21...

22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27.

One dollar each makes $27.

Not bad, Doc!

Manitù!

Not Manitù. The doctor's coat!

- First up. - Right away.

First up, Mr. and Mrs. Robinson.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

Good morning, Doctor.

Lie down.

Get undressed.

Doctor, I'm not the patient, it's my lady who's not feeling well.

Your wife? What's wrong with her?

She wanders during the night.

Wanders at night?

I'm a sleepwalker.

"I'm a sleepwalker!"

Girolamo.

I say, he sleeps, she cucks!

No, Girolamo. You didn't understand. The lady is a sleepwalker.

"Slut-eekah!"

Two pills a day.

Do I give them to her before going to bed?

They're for you, not your wife.

For me? What are they?

- Sleeping pills, you'll sleep and not worry. - How much do I owe you?

Ask my nurse.

Goodbye, Doctor.

Next one, Popsy.

Come Mr. Mortisson.

- Good morning. - I wish!

One "dindo", two "dindo"...

Three din...

I'm busy. Give your name to the nurse and wait your turn.

- What should I do? - Breathe less.

Less than this?

Popsy, accompany the gentleman.

Colorado Slim says the clinic must be closed.

You have one hour to leave town, if you value your hide.

Colorado Slim doesn't want doctors hanging around Yucca.

If you don't agree, we're here to convince you that...

- What did you see, Doctor? - Nothing.

C'mon, what do I have?

- Do you digest well? - Not so much.

Do you get headaches?

Yes.

- Always, is it serious? - No.

In here, there's castor oil, petroleum, and asparagus powder.

- One teaspoon per day. A dollar please. - Yes.

I'll take this.

You pack your bag and leave.

What a foul mouth you have!

- Doesn't that tooth hurt? - This one? Yes.

Clench your teeth.

Did that hurt?

- You're being a wise guy! - What a nasty ringworm you got.

That was the good finger!

Wasn't me that did it.

Clench now. Hard!

That's enough!

I saw a guy toss it in the air too.

That's nothing!

Girolamo!

Popsy!

You're the man, Doc! I used to do that in my day.

What happened?

Head blow!

Let's go.

We can't "go".

Head blows are always good for the brain.

Hello, Popsy!

Your horse is almost ready.

Just a little.

Excuse me, is there a sanitarian here?

We pee in the bush out front.

I meant a physician.

A doctor! Is there one?

Doc, someone wants you.

What is it?

Are you the town physician? Come back in an hour.

Yes, but I'm busy. Come back in an hour.

It's not a visit, my dear colleague.

"Dear" what?

May I? Professor Smithson.

Professor of general medicine at the University of Boston.

Federal health inspector, specialized in surgery, gynecology, dentistry,

urology and myocardial dysfunction.

Don't worry, it'll pass.

I'll read this tonight before going to bed.

You see, I'm preparing a report for the government

on the health conditions of these isolated regions.

Yes.

Is it true that the parasitic epidemiological situation here is dire?

Dire...

Just a bit.

I'll bet that viral hepatitis is quite at home here.

Well, not at home, but it comes every now and then.

You need only look around to realize

that you're full of dysentery, diarrhea and gastroenteritis.

Full?

Not exactly "full". Just enough for our needs.

Lucky you who can joke about these things!

Look at this wretch. Asthmatic, asphyxiated, atrophic.

A shithead--that's you!

Trash! The colleague is right. Come here.

He's a vehicle for diseases. He must be disinfected immediately.

You heard the professor, Trash? You have to take a bath.

A bath? No! I'm not used to it!

Let me go, you sons of bitches!

The water is cold! No!

Help! Help!

Pull me out!

Hey, it's nice!

I like it.

As you see, Professor, we satisfied your request.

Yes. Lather the neck, good!

That's it! I like it!

Good soup today!

Would you like to dine with us?

You're very kind... Very very kind.

But I must continue my trip. I can't stay.

Thank you. My regards.

Your turn, Doc, let's see what you got.

Did you know families are returning?

The town is repopulating. People have regained their courage, thanks to you.

Boys, in a couple of days it's Popsy's birthday,

and we'll have a big party at my farm.

Just like old times! Free drinks, whiskey and beer galore!

Dancing, games and women to take behind the bushes.

Food, women and fireworks!

You're not running, Doctor?

Don't you dare, Sheriff!

Unfasten your holster,

if you don't want a hole in that pretty little star.

Bravo.

I'm not interested in you.

I am looking for hot shots.

Did you hear me, Doctor?

I'm talking to you!

Where are they? Where's that scoundrel?

I want him in my hands! Find him!

Everyone out!

- Out! - Let's go.

Help! It burns!

C'mon, pretty-boy. It's nothing.

- Does it hurt? - Yes.

I see you!

Now what do I do? Everything bloken!

- What a beauty! - Wanna go up?

Again, again!

What a beauty!

- Up again? - Please, send me back up.

How about a drink on the house, boys?

We spare no expense!

Freeze!

You've had your fun.

Now it's my turn.

Nice feather.

Goddamn!

Poor me! All destroyed, all bloken.

Poor me!

That was just a warning.

- Boss, we... - It was him!

On your horses, idiots!

Manitù!

Mamma mia!

Time for bed.

Time for bed, Manitù.

Time for bed, Manitù.

Time for bed, Manitù.

Time for bed.

Say "Manitù", get another beating.

Me not give a shit. Manitù!

Terrible bed.

Mine is a lot better.

Sleeping now. Hush, hush!

No snoring, Momo!

What the fuck!

Noisy like trombone! Breaks my balls!

I sleep there.

"White man...

Fall... Well..."

White man. Fall. Well.

Momo! In well. Manitù. Look.

The sheriff fell in here?

Can't you see this well is closed and no longer used?

Me not blind, he was there!

Sheriff fall! In well! Croak!

Girolamo...

Look who's here.

Sherrik.

No. It's not the sheriff.

It's Manitù.

Don't wake me up anymore.

Sheriff fall... Girolamo...

Girolamo...

Girolamo!

Momo!

All dark! Cold! Momo!

Mamma mia!

What the fuck...!

Son of a... Momo!

Girolamo sad.

Shit in pants.

Me all dirty!

Come on.

Hey! Let me look at you.

Gold!

Gold!

Gold!

Give me piece, I shut up.

You worthless bastards!

You're not just incompetent, you're useless!

Next time I won't shoot blanks.

You brought to the bank the men I killed a week earlier.

The same ones.

And at the saloon you looked even more idiotic.

- We know, boss, but we-- - Shut up!

Slim, you're the biggest idiot of them all.

You even shot at me, almost got me killed.

You're saying we're not partners anymore?

You would deserve it.

But instead, I brought you a gift.

You don't give anything for nothing.

I'll bet you have something big in mind.

You guessed it, Slim.

The final solution.

There's a party tomorrow at the Logans'.

The whole town is going.

Yucca will be deserted.

When everyone returns to their homes,

they'll find a nice surprise.

Their homes will be gone.

Hop on, beauties. Come on!

Get going!

Hold it. Good!

One, two, three...

Bravo, Popsy! You look great.

Long live Logan!

Try these tarts. They're delicious.

May I have this dance, Romy?

No! Ask someone else. I would never dance with you.

Get your hands off of me!

One can never have peace and quiet!

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

Here we are, boss.

Murder him!

- Where is he? - Over here. Come.

Here.

Here.

Right here.

This is your last warning.

Hey! I thought your underpants were black too!

Is something wrong, Sheriff?

What do you think?

I'm sure you didn't load your rifle with blanks this time.

Like last time when Slim's men stormed the bank.

You were too quick that day.

What did I have to gain?

Gold.

Gold?

And where is this gold?

Under your feet. The town is full of it.

The old sheriff found out.

But he made a big mistake.

He trusted a friend like you.

So you killed him and hired Colorado's gang.

You terrorized these poor people to drive them out

and have the town to yourself.

You got that right, Doctor.

But it won't do you any good.

You won't be able to tell anyone!

Drop your holster, Sheriff!

C'mon, Doc!

Bravo!

Bravo!

You showed that sheriff!

Bravo! Bravo!

Hurray!

Bravo, Doctor!

"I run away and jump in well."

Bye, Momo.

No one will ever have my gold.

Girolamo!

Run away! Everyone!

Halt!

- It's gold! - How is that possible?

Look. It's gold!

- Gold! - Gold!

Hey! What's going on here?

- It's raining gold. - Gold?

What nonsense!

Listen, I'm looking for two Indians.

A tall, husky one, and a little, thin one.

Only the little one was Indian.

The other one was Doc, the most honest man in the world.

He sacrificed himself for a friend.

With his selfless act, he taught everyone to be brave and loyal.

We'll never forget you.

Thank you, Doc.

You're welcome!

Thank you also on behalf of all the people of Yucca.

Although your body perished in the explosion,

your soul will always be with us.

Doctor, you will be remembered as the one who vanquished evil.

- Are you getting emotional? - A little.

We salute you, friend. And we thank you...

What is it?

Go get two horses.

Say "horses"! Not stupid hand signs!

Rejoice, people!

This gold is yours!

Hurray! The gold is ours!

What is it?

Mescaleros!

- Mescaleros again! - Go!

Easy, easy! This horse not run!

How is it that every time we leave, these Mescaleros follow us?

I can't stand it anymore. I'm sick of it. Enough!

Enough!