Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

- [Interviewer] just for the record,

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

could you tell me what your name is?

- Is it, I see the blinking light,

it is recording now?

- [Interviewer] Yeah.

- Alright.

- And do you mind, just kind of holding it like this.

- [Man In Black] You don't have to worry about the socks.

- Yeah, no one's gonna see them anyway.

(low music)

- [Interviewer] You must work out a lot.

- Yeah, you could say that.

- You want my real name?

- [Interviewer] Yeah.

- Oh. (laughs) You don't know my real name!

- [Interviewer] Give me your last initial.

Can you tell me what it was about the project

that kinda caught your attention?

- I wanted to know why you came up with this,

why you wanted to do this.

- It's something different,

something that's not really discussed, you know?

Not in public, so to speak.

- Never done any nude scenes.

- [Interviewer] First time, huh?

- First time.

- I love being naked, and I,

or nekkid as we say in Texas.

- Excuse me, we were supposed to be doing this

with my clothes on?

- [Interviewer] Okay, no, you can take your clothes off.

- Okay, I didn't realize that.

- The idea that this is the focus of most men's life,

at the basest level, it runs their life,

but even at the higher level, it's still there.

- I'm always seeing things about female body parts,

but never about male body parts.

- There's not a good discourse,

there's not a good ability to say,

okay, this is my dick, this is how my dick interacts,

like, what does your dick do?

(driving music)

- My dick just turned 65.

- I'm 23 years old.

- My dick is 26 years old.

- 56 years old.

- My dick is, I'd say 18 years old, but I'm 35.

- [Interviewer] You're 70...

- Nine.

- [Interviewer] 79.

And do you say dick, penis, cock, what do you normally say?

- What do I say, um, I probably say dick.

There certainly are lots of euphemisms.

- [Interviewer] What are some euphemisms?

- Peter, Johnson, Mr Johnson, little Bill.

- It's been named by women, you know,

they named it different things.

- [Interviewer] Like what?

- Um, one girl called him Bob.

- In seventh grade, my girlfriend named my dick Pepe.

- Schlong, or dong, that's thrown around too much.

When someone has a dong, you know,

they've got some shit between their legs.

When they got a schlong, it's like, shit!

- My girlfriend at the time called it Richard,

and then her crotch is Gina,

so it's the Richard and Gina show, you know.

- I've never given my cock a name.

I think it's completely ridiculous.

- [Interviewer] Do you have any recollection

of when you first kind of became conscious

that you had a dick?

- Um, when I was a kid,

I was in, I think I was peeing.

And I always had a big head on my dick,

and I still remember looking down

and thinking it was like a helmet,

because I remember watching Hogan's Heroes as a kid,

and Germans used to have those round helmets.

- When I was like 12 or 13, maybe, I had wet dreams,

and then my mother realized, when she was doing the laundry,

what was going on.

- [Interviewer] And did she say something?

- Yeah, she said you should have a talk with your father.

- [Interviewer] And, did you?

- No, absolutely not. (chuckles)

And of course my father never discussed anything like that,

so that was not gonna happen.

And from the minute she said it,

then I put, like, a negative connotation

on what was happening.

And I would, I had this one pair of underwear

that I would sleep in every night,

so that if I had a wet dream

I would just take it and throw it under the bed.

So she never got another pair of underwear.

- When I was about 12 years old,

that's the age that most people go into puberty,

you know, they're beginning to grow hair and get bigger,

and for some reason or other, I didn't.

I was kind of at a standstill.

And my mother took me to our family doctor,

and he and her discussed in front of me

that my penis was not keeping up,

it was small, it hadn't, you know, matured.

I did not have any conversation with my father

about my penis, about sex, about whether

it was too big, too small, or nothing, period.

- [Interviewer] Is that something

that you would have wanted to have?

- Yeah.

- The closest I ever came to seeing my father naked

was when he had just had his appendix out.

And he was in the bathtub, and so he just, you know,

very, very definitely, covered his genitalia up,

and I saw his appendix scar,

and also, you know, I was thinking,

I wonder what's under his hand?

- There's a story that my mother tells

about me being young and walking me down in a stroller,

you know, I was this cute little blond baby,

and everyone would walk by and kinda look and smile,

oh, little baby little baby,

and she noticed that after a while,

the faces on people walking towards her

had kind of changed from, you know, glee,

to curiosity, to concern, to like abject horror.

And, finally, you know, someone gasped,

and she looked down, and I (laughs)

basically, well, I'll just kind of do it.

Makes more sense.

I'm sitting there, as a baby,

and I've got my dick and I'm just doing this.

Right?

(light music)

- And then, ten, took me like oh I'm not gay,

so why would I wanna look at a cock, I'm not gay.

You know what I mean?

But I, but I always start to think,

people say that, you know,

women are beautiful to look at naked

and men are kind of ugly, I don't know if that's true.

But I'm not sure that the penis

is a particularly, you know, pleasant looking thing.

- Yeah, everybody's is different.

- [Interviewer] And I'm also noticing on your balls,

it's very prominent, the crease.

- Yes, well it certainly is right now,

because I'm cold, they're all kinda, you know, up tight.

Um, if we were shooting outside

on a warm summer day and they were hanging down

a bit further, you know, you wouldn't necessarily see that.

There's so much of a fine layer of muscle,

that's under the skin that most people don't realize,

the reason why they contract and they distend

is because, it needs to regulate the temperature,

in your testes when they produce sperm,

the sperm needs to be, I think somewhere around 95 degrees,

so it's slightly colder than your core temperature.

And so when you're cold they want to be closer

to the core temperature, when you're warmer,

they distend to be cooler.

The skin tends to stretch out,

making the heat escape easier as well.

- [Interviewer] It's brilliant technology.

- It is absolutely incredible.

- [Interviewer] It's my understanding

that if you had been a female, that would be the labia.

- Yes.

Yeah, that's where the labia would have been,

these would have been, this would have been

the skin of the labia, which is why it's so similar,

the penis would have been, obviously, the clitoris,

however the urethra would move down slightly in between,

and the testes obviously become the ovaries.

- [Interviewer] Where is it most of the time?

- Right, right along here is where I'm,

where I'm very most sensitive.

I'm right-handed, (laughs) when I'm warmer

it goes to the side, it goes to the right hand side,

for whatever reason, that's always just been the case.

- [Interviewer] Is that from masturbating too much?

- I dunno, can you masturbate too much?

(both laughing)

If you can, I probably hit that limit.

- Well I, I mean I love to jerk off.

- Yeah, I do that quite a lot.

- I don't know about obsessed

and I don't know about chronic,

I mean like, chronic makes it sound like,

you know, I'm in the corner smoking a little crack pipe

and then jerking off or something, you know?

- Got nothing else to do.

- I masturbate a lot, almost every day.

- Yeah, sometimes I'll sort of arbitrarily

assign it to the moon, like the moon's full, yeah, (grunts)

- I've masturbated, let me think, everywhere but at church.

- In the shower in the morning before I went to school,

- And it's just stress relief.

- As soon as I got home from school,

- When I couldn't sleep.

- Open up some porn mags.

- I found my dad's 1979 December issue of Playboy.

I remember there was this picture of Superman,

next to a picture of Chevy Chase.

(laughs) And that's when I came for the first time.

- Once I learned how, you could not stop me.

I was, I was a menace.

- So I spent a lot of time in the bathroom or whatever,

but like, who doesn't?

- I kept a log of when I masturbated.

Trying to figure out if it was okay

that I was doing it that often.

- Of course I had, I was wracked with guilt,

because I was a good active Mormon boy,

and we were taught that it was wrong,

you're not supposed to do it,

it's, you know, it's nature's factory,

you're not supposed to mess with the factory,

otherwise it won't produce

when it's time to produce or whatever.

- I had one particularly miserable friend

who told me that when you jerked off,

your penis would get bigger,

and this was why I didn't want to show my dick to anybody,

because he would say that if you have a big dick,

then that indicates that you've been playing with yourself,

which growing up as a Catholic, that was a mortal sin

and you were gonna go straight to hell

and you didn't want anybody to know about that.

I kept masturbating all the time,

and I would try to give it up for Lent, for instance,

but it never worked and I just kept going back to it,

and then I felt so guilty afterwards,

so I found this very old, what was he, Lithuanian priest

who barely spoke English and I would go to him

in the back confessional and tell him that I was impure

17 times last week,

and he of course knew what I was doing,

he had probably gotten used to me

because I would come all the time.

And he would tell me to say

a couple of hail Marys and Our Fathers,

and the funny thing is that he said,

when you, make sure that you're not idle,

he said when you go to bed, make sure that you're not idle,

have a book that you're reading, and he said

when you wake up in the morning,

get right up out of bed, don't linger in bed

and the funny thing is I never jerked off in the morning,

I always did it at night, and he gave me the idea

that you could also do it in the morning!

(calm music)

- I was sitting there and, you know,

I was watching MTV, kinda glazing out,

and I started, I basically started doing, um, let's see.

I'm uncircumcised, by the way.

So I started kinda doing this for some reason.

I don't remember why I started doing this,

but I started doing this.

And, you know, I was looking at the helma noon book,

and then a Winger video came on.

I hate Winger.

And there was this one scene in the Winger video,

where there was a girl like in a, a loose shirt,

and her kinda, her, she was wearing like a,

say like a lavender bra,

and she kind of leaned back a little bit

and just at that moment I ejaculated

for the first time ever.

And it blew my fucking mind.

Like, it changed everything.

Everything for me.

I, like I didn't know what to do,

I, like I knew what it was.

I knew how I had done it, I understood

all the mechanics of what had just occurred,

but I had no frame of reference

for what an orgasm actually felt like.

And it was fucking amazing.

It was amazing.

To the extent that I,

I've had some wonderful sex in my life,

I've had some incredible orgasms, I've had orgasms

that have made me actually kind of pass out.

I don't think there's anything in my life

that has been as profound as the first time

I actually made myself come and realizing

that I could do that.

You know, this was something that's completely

within my grasp, that could be triggered on a whim,

anyplace, anytime, that I could just be

in such supreme and simple rapture.

And I, I kind of tried to talk to people about it,

like I was so excited that I like told all my friends,

they're like oh, yeah, that's jerking off.

Like, what, what?

Like, that's it, that's jerking off?

They're like yeah, dude, you know.

Do you wanna just like stick your dick in a tree

and like fuck it?

I'm like yeah!

Yeah I do, I want to stick my dick in everything now.

You know?

Like I'll fuck the couch, I tried to fuck the couch.

You know?

I stuck my dick between the two couch cushions

and like dry humped it while watching Dr Detroit, okay.

Totally did it.

Loved it, thought it was great.

Just awesome.

You know?

No one home, yeah. (laughs)

- [Interviewer] Jerk off.

- Yeah, jerk off!

(funky music)

- 20 years old, that was the first time I ever masturbated.

20 years old.

I thought I was gonna go straight to hell.

I was, I felt terrible, really.

I felt awful that I would do something like that.

So, I would have the guilt, I would go to confession,

confess my sins, and then turn around and go back out

and do whatever I was doing before.

Back in those days, you rarely went off

your particular block or two,

and on the street we had a girl named Flo.

And, everybody was getting a piece of Flo.

That's where I got, you know, my first introduction,

you know, to sexuality.

And I did not have intercourse then,

Flo was kind enough to let me feel her up

and show me her breasts and feel her ass and all that,

but because I was Christian, very very devout at the time,

I just kind of shied away from it.

- [Interviewer] Did you ever have any kind of conversation

with your sons about sexuality?

- Yes, I told them that they are

gonna experience sexual feelings

and they're not gonna know what it is really,

at the outset, and it's a feeling that's good,

natural, and you'll have sex with a whole lot of girls

before you get married.

God bless you and just protect yourself and protect her.

And treat her with respect,

whether she's the biggest whore in the world,

or you think she is, you're as big a whore as she is

if you went to bed with her.

So, treat her with genuine respect,

and don't feel any guilt.

- [Interviewer] Do you remember the first time

you ever showed your dick to someone else?

- Yes. (laughs)

Okay, you want me to tell you the experience?

- [Interviewer] How old were you when you did it?

- 12.

I went to the bathroom, I had a friend came with me,

and he took me into the stall,

and he masturbated me.

And I didn't know what he was doing to me.

When I finally ejaculated,

I knew (snaps fingers) everything.

(funky music)

- My mum was a biology teacher,

so I kinda learned the birds and the bees pretty early.

And I did grow up in the country,

so I started using it pretty early too,

and all my friends were having sex

when they were like 12 or 13.

And I was kinda like, really, ugh, I wanna have sex.

And, um, I ended up having sex with this girl.

I met her and she was like, oh,

do you want to come to London?

So I went on a train with her to London for the weekend,

and her dad was away, and we had this whole big apartment.

And she had this huge, he had this huge wad of cash

in his drawer and we kind of basically stole it,

got drunk on Malibu, and then got it going.

And I can always remember the smell of Malibu on her breath.

(laughs) Which is kinda like,

it's a really bad alcoholic drink.

Yeah, probably had sex with her like,

10 times over the weekend.

It was pretty good.

- [Interviewer] Tell me, what, was that typical?

- No, not really, there was a lot of, you know,

in the back of a field, or, you know like,

in their mum's house, a quick one, or something like that,

so it was kind of pretty, I suppose I was lucky.

I'd be lucky to have that now, really.

You know what I mean?

- The first sexual intercourse I ever had

was with my, one of my good friend's mothers.

In a nutshell, I was 15, and she seduced me.

She showed me a hundred tricks,

that have served me well.

(funky music)

- The first time that I became aware of my dick

was when I was 11.

I was approached by someone in the library,

and he followed me to the bathroom.

He used the urinal next to me.

And he got hard.

And he showed it to me.

He led me upstairs to a private corner of the library,

and he jerked me off.

And, gave me head.

And all the while, kept saying, repeatedly,

he asked me my age, and I told him I'm 11,

and he insisted I was 18.

And he repeatedly told me how big I was.

And the things that he was doing to me

was all so new and so, you know like,

quote-unquote fantastic, because for my 11-year-old body

and my mind it's like wow, what's going on?

I really thought that he broke my penis.

You know, because like this white stuff was coming out,

and you know, the first time you ejaculate

it hurts like a mother.

You know, so I was like oh God,

and I ran home, and luckily my parents lived

like two blocks away from the library.

And I ran home, you know, like cupping myself,

and locked myself in the bathroom, and just cried.

I think for a lot of people who were molested,

a lot of people who were traumatized in some shape or form,

not just molestation, you tend to see,

you try to see it in a different light.

And for me, I tried to see it as my first sexual experience.

Now I even, just now when you asked me that question,

I still see it as my first sexual experience.

As if I was like, a willing, and like, knowing participant.

- I was probably, like, 16.

Two of my friends, we had gone out drinking,

and they were spending the night in my friend's tent

in the backyard of his house and,

I don't know what happened or how it happened

but the next thing I know,

one of the guys has his pants down,

and I'm just giving him a blowjob.

And that's, and then I remember he came,

and I didn't, and it got in my mouth

and I was kind of freaked out a little bit.

But that was, I was probably 16.

And then there was one other guy that was in the tent,

the next night we got together and we did it again.

Without the other guy, because he was like,

oh I didn't get to do that.

So, the other guy, the first guy is straight and married,

and the other guy is still one of my best friends.

And he's gay.

When I was in school, like,

we started changing for gym in seventh grade.

And I had pubic hair, so I was like,

at least I had that, there were some guys

that didn't have pubic hair,

and my dick was, I mean it was small,

so I was like, uncomfortable, and I thought,

the first time I thought, oh, I'm gonna throw up,

I can't go to gym class.

But I did, and when I took my clothes off

and got in the shower, I actually really liked

being naked with the other guys.

And I remember there was one guy

that had, I mean, who knows what it would be like now,

but when I was in seventh grade and he was in seventh grade,

it looked huge to me,

and he would sit on the bench and it would hang down,

and I was just like, good lord!

And he always got dressed, he undressed,

and then he would put his socks on first,

and then put his shirt on, so he obviously knew

people were looking at it.

And seeing how big it was.

So I was like, you know what, I'm gonna do the same thing

so I'd put my socks on, so I kept my dick out

as long as possible even though it did not compare

to his at all.

But, you get so nervous about thinking people

are looking at your dick, but if they make fun of you,

go why were you looking at my dick?

So, I think nobody ever said anything.

But of course, I think, everybody looked.

Everybody was sure interested to see

what everybody else had.

And luckily I never got,

I never got a hard one in the shower.

(funky music)

- It's kinda like a, a thermometer to things.

It just, it kinda tells you how you're feeling.

- We'd go to the Castkills for the weekend

at the hotel, and I'd be in the,

my father would drag my brother and me

into the steam bath or the sauna,

and I'd be there with like a hard-on!

You know, sometimes dripping.

You know, just, you know, it was just,

I guess that's what being a teenager is like.

You know, and I think for a long time

I kinda worked on, or dreamed of the day

when I could be naked without instantly, you know,

having a hard-on.

- Oh, I remember once in a drama class,

I got, I got an erection, you know,

like boys sometimes do for no apparent reason,

and it was visible, and some of these guys

that, you know, that used to give me a bad time, noticed it.

And they used to call me the Beast, which you know,

to this day, every time I hear that word,

I kind of freeze up.

But anyway, they started chanting all around the schoolyard,

and the hallways at the school,

(singsong) Beastie's got a boner, Beastie's got a boner.

And I just wanted to go to a big cliff and jump off,

I was so embarrassed and humiliated by that.

- Well, shit happens.

It doesn't get hard sometimes when I'm, you know,

you're in the perfect situation,

you've been waiting all day for it

and now you can't get it up, why is that?

Well, I dunno, you know.

And it doesn't even have to be whisky dick

or anything like that, you know?

Sometimes, you know, you were, like, oh I got one,

I got one, a good one, you know?

I was all excited, I was bringing this girl home one night.

It was so hot to be like, in the bar,

it was like pushing up against my jeans,

I'm just like uncomfortable, whatever,

at the party or whatever it was,

and like, you know, but all night it was like

hey, let's go in a corner, let's go in the bathroom,

let's, you know, man I was hot for this chick, right?

And then like, she let me know, oh don't worry,

I'm going home with you tonight.

Cool, that's great to know, I can relax

on all the like, the extra charm,

you're trying to lay it on.

Cool, she's just like, go chill out over there,

you know, I gotta say my goodbyes, whatever.

And just like, we'll catch you in a bit.

And like, 45 minutes goes by, whatever.

And it's just like, we try to be causal about it,

oh, goodbye, we're just leaving at the same time,

you know, nobody sees her go out, we get in a cab.

But it's all, like, a foregone conclusion,

so I know I'm getting this and I calm down so much

that like we're in the cab,

and everything's now matter of fact, you know?

It's not like, a minute ago, or 45 minutes ago

we were all like hot and interested and like uhh,

I can't wait to tear your clothes off and unghhh,

it's like, okay, she's coming home,

she's gonna fuck me.

Great.

So now we're in the cab and it's like,

well, we're not making out anymore,

and it's like, how do you start this up again?

We were feeling it, I'm not so feeling it right now,

I'm just thinking about going home,

what's my room look like, you know,

what's going on, and, we get to the room,

and I'm like, okay, we didn't start anything up,

I thought maybe as we're getting in,

we'd be like, making out, tearing clothes off, no.

It's not like she took her clothes off all slow

and like ah, what do you think?

You know, there was no enticing, nothing.

Now I gotta like, c'mon, wake up.

What's going on.

C'mon boy!

Yeah, and I'm like try to think of something hot,

and I'm like, this girl does it for me,

but like right now she's totally not doing it for me,

and I dunno.

She said well, you know, it's cool,

we could just go to sleep, and, you know,

we'll talk again in the morning or something.

And I'm like, wow.

How polite, I mean, what would you expect her to say?

I don't know, but she handled it I guess the right way,

but like, I mean, what do I want,

but I dunno, it was an utter failure.

Like, to me it was a disaster, I'm like,

no, you don't understand, I really need these opportunities

and here it is and I'm like, I'm going nuts.

And I'm like why, what?

Why have you forsaken me, dick?

You know, what the hell?

- Like well, what's wrong with me,

do I need to go see a doctor?

Am I, like, am I doing this right?

Do I really like girls?

I mean, I liked girls for a really long time,

has that changed?

You know?

I don't, I don't know.

Like, what am I doing wrong?

How have I failed?

You know like, if you break your arm,

that's fine, you can kind of understand how that goes.

You know, if like, if you leg gets all tingly

and you can't walk on it, you understand, you know.

But if your dick doesn't do something

that you want it to do, that you expect it to do,

that you understand it to do,

then it throws your whole world for a loop.

You know?

You're like, well, this is my dick, this is me.

This is, this is a reflection of me as a person.

If this doesn't do what I think it should do,

then I'm not who I should be.

(funky music)

- I had a difficult adolescence.

I knew I was gay, and while I wasn't effeminate,

I wasn't like the other boys and I knew I wasn't.

And, and I felt very isolated.

I was abused by this guy I was working for

at his little TV repair shop,

and he came on to me and did all sorts of, you know,

unlawful things that nowadays would land him in jail,

but at that time, you know, it just didn't.

I had no idea what I was supposed to do,

or why this was happening,

didn't have any brothers or a father,

so I went to, I just lost myself in religion.

I used to go into the church and just kind of hide there.

The Catholic church that I belonged to,

and then finally, I couldn't bear it anymore

and I went and actually talked to a priest.

So he was the one who helped me through that

and brought it all to a stop.

I got more and more involved with religion,

because the church kind of helped me through that.

I went into a Benedictine abbey for a little while

and I spent some time in formation

to become a monk, and a priest.

But as long as I was in the abbey,

I was completely bound by all the rules and regulations

and the hierarchies and the daily orders

and the this, that, and the other thing,

I was told what to do, when to do it,

when to get up, when to go to bed,

it was like being in prison.

And um, the abbey was up on a hill,

and I used to see a passenger train, the Canadian,

a famous passenger train that ran from coast to coast,

it went to Vancouver.

And I could see this train going, down the hill every day,

so I'd even watch for it because I knew its timetable.

And if it was on time I'd see it and I'd think,

God, I want to, I want to be on that train,

heading to Vancouver.

I want to make my own mistakes in life,

my own victories, I want to make my own decisions,

I don't want all this structure anymore.

I told the Prior I was thinking about leaving.

And he gave me a day away from the abbey,

to go into town, into Vancouver actually,

with the guest master who had some errands to do.

He asked me where I wanted to be dropped off,

and for some reason, I said BCIT.

British Columbia Institute of Technology.

And I went up onto this sort of parapet,

and I saw all these guys, 501s were new at that time,

with their white T-shirts and their backpacks

and their 501s and their young bodies,

and I was pretty much their age.

And I thought holy fuck, look at this.

Wow, I mean.

This is what I, I could be

one of these students with a backpack.

So it wasn't long, and, and my dick here started,

started wanting to, sort of have his say in my life.

(laughing)

- [Interviewer] Um, you're obviously well endowed.

How did that play itself out?

- You know, I have, like, this big dick.

You know, and like that was something, you know,

that gave me a little bit of pride.

But then the problem becomes later,

when like, you know, you're piecing it all together,

and like your understanding of who you are,

then you have to be more than just a dick.

And, not let people just let you be that.

I definitely went through a period

where I resented my penis,

because I thought that I would never be able

to like, y'know, have a healthy sex life with someone,

or meet people, without this, like, thing being in the way.

Only really in the latter part of my twenties,

like being in a relationship with someone,

wherein I knew that he was in it with me,

not just because of my dick.

Because there are people who are

absolutely obsessed with dicks.

- It's just always a contest, and, who's got

a nicer chest, who has a nicer car,

it's, it just all stems from cock.

- I myself am six and a half in length,

and then six around, six in girth.

- I would say maybe eight inches?

- About seven inches.

- 10 and a half inches.

- Six inches.

I think if I measure from here to the end of it,

or is it from here, here, that ought to be six inches.

- I've always had the motto, small dick, fast ass.

That's how I operate.

- Because like, if someone has big ears, big hands,

big feet, I dunno, what could be the fourth one?

- [Interviewer] There's all kinds of theories.

Do you think you can tell the size of a man's penis

from his hands, his nose, his feet?

- They don't have a magazine for regular men

with small penises, nobody wants to see that.

Everyday men magazine.

- [Interviewer] Do you think size matters?

- To whom?

- I absolutely think size matters.

- I used to, but I know it doesn't any longer.

- I'd be the same if I had a small dick.

Probably not.

(all laughing)

- I guess, knowing the female anatomy is more important

than having a big dick.

I kind of study the way the vagina works,

and like nerve endings and whatnot,

and you start to realize that like,

if you have the biggest dick in the world

or you have a small dick, it doesn't really matter.

- Well, it depends, I mean, some women are more sensitive,

and some are just so easy,

like you can give someone an orgasm

just with a little breast play, you know, just a little,

they're lucky, you know, because others you can spend hours

just licking until your tongue's got cramps,

it's a whole two hour event before you get

one orgasm out of them, that's work, man, you know.

- I have to be conscious not to get too carried away

where I'm driving in and penetrating,

like hitting her bladder, hitting her cervix.

That's definitely been an issue also.

I would say that's the main issue,

it's not necessarily the girth, it's,

well part of it's the girth and part,

a lot of it is hitting the cervix.

- And why does everybody want a big dick anyway?

I mean what, what's, why?

- Well I know women who have started dating a man,

and then dropped him because his dick wasn't big enough.

Pure and simple.

- Hey, even a jumbo jet looks small

when it's flying through the Grand Canyon.

They don't like to hear that, but.

- You may not be Mr Right, but you can be Mr Right Now

with a big dick.

Until they found out what a dick you are, as a person.

Then you're gone.

(funky music)

- I think, you know, I graduated college,

I come to New York, it's around '79, '80, pre-AIDS.

Pretty free-spirited time.

I guess you know, on some level I began to say,

oh yeah, the guys with the big dicks,

they get a lot more attention.

And I had a friend who said something to me,

I'm sure he's right, he said, yeah they get more attention,

but he said it was my attitude too.

You know, if I had the attitude of a guy with a big dick

I'd get that same attention.

I actually, I like my genitalia.

But I wish it was bigger,

I wish I had more equipment to play with.

There's this thing, bigger is better.

Even if not in reality, in that perception,

and if it's obvious I'm not bigger,

well, you know, I want to be desired too.

I want to be standing here, and I want people

who are looking at the camera to be going,

wow, he looks great, wow I want that!

I want to be, you know, stimulating people

and attractive to people.

- [Interviewer] So, what do you do?

What's your process with self-acceptance?

- I still, you know, I still have some sort of relationship,

some sort of tension about, you know, my dick size.

But I'm not like, really, a dick-oriented guy so much.

Maybe if I had a big dick I would be,

I'd be like hey, it's all about the dick! (laughing)

I'm one of these type of guys, who like,

I go to the gym, and when I'm in the locker room, I'm naked.

This is it, I'm not gonna, you know,

it's not like high school, I'm not gonna hide it anymore.

And you know, I've been with my partner for 28 years,

and if I ever bring this up to him,

he's always like, I like your dick!

You know, I wouldn't want it to be any bigger.

And I know he means that.

I have this rap, kind of, about how I think, at this point

in society, like, having a small dick

is like the last thing it's okay

for everybody to make fun of still.

You know, it's belittling, it's, you know, it's a joke

that's based on the idea that somebody with a small dick

is less than.

I even have a friend, who I've shared this stuff with,

we're driving in the car, and some guy passes her,

and she makes some small dick joke.

I was like, wow, I bared my soul to you,

I told you this intimate thing,

and here you are making a small dick joke.

It's actually really painful.

You know?

Yeah.

It's really painful.

(dramatic music)

- [Interviewer] Well, there are a lot of men

who were cut and grew up really not happy about it.

- Oh I know, my nephew is.

He had expressed that he was really angry

that they had cut him when he had no choice.

- I just think it's ridiculous, doing that,

which is a process that started

when the doughboys in World War One

were getting these horrific wounds that were hard to clean,

and then after that, everybody was circumcised.

You know, the time and place for it had long since passed.

You know, we're not living in the desert anymore

with a shortage of water, so.

Yes, I regret having lost my foreskin.

- You can stroke my dick all you want to,

but just don't pull it back, it just feels so weird.

Like I have no problems with, you know, that sensation

while I'm having intercourse,

but if it's outside in the open air and all that,

like, it just feels so weird when someone else does it.

- It is a different level of intimacy, I think.

- Wouldn't, don't mind pulling my foreskin back at all,

I mean I think it, it's, first of all

you have to do it a lot in order to keep it clean.

- [Interviewer] Well tell me about that.

- What, you want me to peel it back?

- [Interviewer] Yeah, nobody's, well just tell me,

you know, nobody's talked about, uh.

What you have to do.

- If you don't, if you don't peel it back every day

and wash carefully,

it, I think the term is smegma.

S-M-E-G-M-A?

Which is like white stuff that, that accumulates in there.

And if you don't peel it back and clean that off,

it would, I suppose eventually it would give you

an infection of some sort.

But it certainly does have an odor.

- And uh, you know, I hear it's cleaner,

nothing gets caught under the hood I guess,

so better for me.

- I have, I have, when I masturbate, I do not need lube.

I can, I have enough skin that I can move,

and still even when I get hard,

and right now I can even pull it over, you know,

to pretend to be uncut,

I just don't have enough for it to stay, so I am cut,

but it is, I am very appreciative to my doctor,

whoever that was that I was not circumcised tightly.

- Taking away the foreskin, I've read,

removes something like 200,000 nerve endings.

- If you're not circumcised and you have the flap

that covers the tip of your penis,

then the tip of your penis stays more sensitive.

Because, the tip of our penis is always exposed,

which means it's always rubbing on things,

and it gets desensitized after a while.

- You know, hearing that it takes off sensitivity,

I'm like wow, how much more sensitive can this thing get?

- [Interviewer] How would you feel

if your penis no longer functioned?

- That'd be terrible. (laughs)

Terrible, you know, just, a man's life, I think.

- If it didn't work anymore?

Wow, like if I was paralyzed in a car crash or,

some bizarre, like, freaking Lorena Bobbitt situation

where your penis gets chopped off and they can't find it,

I would, oh, man.

I don't know what I would do with myself.

- Erectile dysfunction would bother me a lot.

I mean, if I couldn't get a hard-on,

it would definitely bother me.

- When I'm 75 or 80, it's not gonna work anymore,

so I know that, I'm prepared for that.

- Actually, my brother walked in on my mother and father.

They were both in, my mother late 70s, my father early 80s.

And she was jerking him off.

My mom was proud of the fact

that his pecker was still working at 83 years old.

My father was operated on in his mid-80s for prostate,

and the sadistic doctor just severed his nerves

and my father couldn't get an erection anymore,

and he, after that he just went into a deep funk

and was dead within a year.

His dick was a very important part of his,

his personality, who he was.

- I was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 1998.

And uh, it's a life-changing experience, it really is.

When the doctor told me I was not gonna have a sex life,

that everything was gonna come out,

and that was it, I said no, and then he was really

in a hurry to do the surgery, really in a big hurry.

Which, my instincts, which are really good,

told me don't do it.

So I researched and I found out two doctors

that came up with a new procedure.

Where they took the prostate out,

but they spared the nerves.

Which meant, theoretically, that after you healed,

and you took Viagra or something like that,

you could get an erection.

I was always very active sexually,

and I was going out at the time with a beautiful woman,

she was homecoming queen of her college,

she was in pageants, she was really

an awesome looking woman.

And sex was great.

So I didn't want to give that up, I really didn't.

So, when I got out of hospital

and I recuperated and I went back to see him

after three months, he gave me Viagra,

and it produced a soft erection.

Not an erection that you could penetrate a woman with.

She was supposed to try to stimulate me,

and she fell asleep with my limp penis in her hand.

And after that it was all downhill.

- [Interviewer] How does that make you feel?

- It made me feel like shit.

It made me feel that I was less than normal.

It made me feel that I couldn't

even have a relationship with a woman, because eventually,

if the relationship goes forward and it's good,

sometime or other there's gonna be sex involved.

And I couldn't perform.

Atrophy begins a little also, in your penis,

if it doesn't, you know, get hard for a while.

So there was a doctor who was in charge of sexology.

He was the premiere guy in penile implants.

I said hey, I don't know how long I'm gonna be here,

and I want to want a woman,

I want to lay down next to a woman,

I want to have her in my arms I want to have sex with her.

So I went to him, and I got the implant.

What they do is, they implant through your scrotum.

They take two cylinders, flat cylinders,

and they stick them on both sides of your penis.

And then, they fill the two cylinders up

with salt water solution.

And then they put a ball in your scrotum

which when you press on the ball, you get erect.

That's it.

Since I had prostate surgery,

even when I couldn't get completely hard,

the orgasms since I had it are fantastic.

If I have an orgasm, it comes in waves.

Four or five, six times in a row, bop-bop-bop.

When I come, orgasms are multiple,

I mean five or six of them, I go nuts.

(upbeat funky music)

- Wouldn't it be nice if it were not such a huge deal?

If we saw more nudity, if we saw each other's skin

more often, and in absolutely innocuous,

nonthreatening situations, then we wouldn't

be so scared of it.

- I don't have any regrets about my life.

I think the way life unfolds is the way life unfolds.

There's no point in like, trying to, you know,

go back into it.

But it's always a good idea to try to make sense of it.

- I think I've been too repressed,

I don't think I've been somebody

whose life has been led by his dick.

And at this point in my life, I almost feel like,

oh, I get to be more led by my dick.

- I really recognize more completely

how sexual that we are, and what a limited time

that we have on this earth.

And I get all the sex I can, without any guilt.

None of that Christian upbringing bullshit.

- And what is, where does the whole thing about sin

come into having erotic thoughts, for god's sake?

It's just part of being human,

part of belonging to our species.

Is that we can see erotic beauty in other people.

What the hell is wrong with that?

- The fact that someone may be longer,

or thicker, or shorter than anybody?

That's just who you are,

that's part of your individuality, so to speak.

- Um, I'm actually quite content with it.

- It reminds me that it's just fine. (chuckles)

Despite the fact that I may not always be happy with it,

which is less and less now.

- I've discovered that I, in the last few years,

that I can get turned on by a man just as well.

And, one of the nice things about having sex with a man

is that they, they don't expect any commitment.

You know.

They don't say, you gonna call me in the morning?

Or, and what are we gonna do this weekend?

- Well I think mine is perfect.

I really, I'm very, I really think it's just right.

- I am so proud of its achievements.

I am so proud of the pleasure it's given to

all the women that I've slept with.

- [Interviewer] I think, um,

kinda going through the list.

And uh, we're good.

- Okay, cool.

- [Interviewer] Thank you, sir.

(funky music)