Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,023
Glenn: First of all,
2
00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:25,525
i want to thank
everybody for coming.
3
00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:27,027
Giving up your lunch hours
and all that.
4
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:30,030
And, lord knows,
very exciting for all of us.
5
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,031
Tucker:
Happy to be here.
6
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:32,032
Steve: Oh, me, too.
7
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:34,034
Absolutely. And let's just
get our hands right into it.
8
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:35,035
Who wants to start us off?
9
00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:36,536
Steve: I'll be
happy to start.
10
00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:38,038
You know what? Gwen,
why don't you start us off?
11
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,039
Gwen: Ok. Sure...
12
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,040
you don't need
the pointer here, do you?
13
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,541
No. I don't need
the pointer. Thanks.
14
00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:42,542
I'll just hold on
to it, then.
15
00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:43,543
Glenn:
Oh, she's fine. Gwen?
16
00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:45,045
Gwen: There is
a concern that i have
17
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,546
that i think
needs addressing
18
00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:48,548
is that we can't have
the port-a-potties
19
00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:50,050
too far off
the main route,
20
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,551
because we do have
a lot of seniors.
21
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,553
Steve:
Uh, we've solved that.
22
00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:55,055
We're gonna take
the port-a-potties
23
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,556
and put 'em
right over here.
24
00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:58,058
They're not gonna
be in the way.
25
00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,559
Gwen: We're gonna
put a receptacle
26
00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:01,061
over near
arts and crafts.
27
00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:03,063
This is the big bins
you're talking about?
28
00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:04,564
Steve:
We've got barrels, too.
29
00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:06,566
And we're gonna put
the barrels on every corner.
30
00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:08,068
Glenn: Wait a minute.
That's... that's the crate?
31
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,569
Steve: That's the big
barrel, 'cause you got
32
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:11,571
the pie-eating going on
right over here.
33
00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:13,073
It's more of a dumpster
than a barrel.
34
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,074
Glenn: That's another thing.
If anything happens
35
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,575
like last year
with that pie-eating...
36
00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:19,079
which brings me
to a point... security.
37
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,080
Oh, god.
38
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:23,583
Security. I say
we put a rifle on here,
39
00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:26,586
a man with a rifle here,
and a rifle here.
40
00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:27,587
Protect the whole square.
41
00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:28,588
Is that really
necessary?
42
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,091
Yes. Remember how much
we got egged last year?
43
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:32,092
Absolutely.
44
00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:34,594
What can i tell you?
We're pleased as punch.
45
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,596
We... we are so proud.
46
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,598
We know that
whatever we do here
47
00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:40,600
is a first for blaine
and a first for missouri,
48
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,602
that whatever we do
is going to be the standard
49
00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:46,106
against which all other
sesquicentennials...
50
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:49,109
that's the 150...
will be judged.
51
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:52,112
The people of blaine
are can-do people.
52
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:53,613
In fact, you know, there's
an old saying in missouri
53
00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:56,616
if you don't like the weather,
just wait 5 minutes.
54
00:01:56,616 --> 00:02:00,620
In blaine, i honestly
believe with hard work,
55
00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:02,622
we can get that down
to 3 or 4 minutes.
56
00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:05,041
Phil: Here in our
sesquicentennial year,
57
00:02:05,041 --> 00:02:06,543
we've got a lot
to talk about.
58
00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:08,044
There's a lot
to be proud of.
59
00:02:08,044 --> 00:02:09,546
And we're very proud
of it,
60
00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:10,547
and i think it's about time
61
00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:12,048
that the world
knows more about blaine.
62
00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:13,049
We're chomping at the bit,
63
00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:15,051
certainly from this end,
to get it out there.
64
00:02:15,051 --> 00:02:19,055
It all started
with blaine fabin.
65
00:02:19,055 --> 00:02:21,057
He was hired by 30 settlers
66
00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:24,060
to lead a wagon-train expedition
from philadelphia to california.
67
00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:25,562
Uh, on the 14th night,
68
00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:28,064
word has it they were
sitting around the campfire,
69
00:02:28,064 --> 00:02:30,567
and blaine said,
"do you smell it?
70
00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:32,569
Do you smell the salt
in the air?"
71
00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:34,571
He said, "we're here.
I brought you to california."
72
00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:36,573
And so there was
a big party that night.
73
00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:39,075
And the next morning,
they got up. Uh...
74
00:02:39,075 --> 00:02:40,577
they didn't see the ocean
75
00:02:41,077 --> 00:02:43,079
because they were in missouri.
76
00:02:43,079 --> 00:02:46,583
Uh, blaine was able to convince
them for a little while
77
00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:48,084
that it was just low tide
and things,
78
00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:50,587
but what had happened was
that he had made some mistakes.
79
00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:53,590
Bad weather. Wasrt familiar,
perhaps, with the proper route.
80
00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:54,591
But as it turns out,
81
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:56,593
everybody was quite happy
to be where they were.
82
00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:58,595
So they said, "it's ok we didn't
make it to california.
83
00:02:58,595 --> 00:02:59,596
We'll stay here."
84
00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:02,098
And that's why
i'm at this desk.
85
00:03:02,098 --> 00:03:05,602
Well, i'm very proud to say
that i'm a direct descendant
86
00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:06,603
of blaine fabin.
87
00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:09,105
I've lived here all my life.
88
00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:11,608
As did my parents
and their parents
89
00:03:12,108 --> 00:03:13,610
and their parents
and their parents
90
00:03:14,110 --> 00:03:15,111
and so on and so forth.
91
00:03:15,111 --> 00:03:18,114
I'm very excited about
the show coming up,
92
00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:20,116
because it'll be
the first time
93
00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:23,620
i'll have the experience
of sitting in the audience
94
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:28,124
and seeing actors portray
my ancestor...
95
00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:31,127
the... the actual
blaine fabin.
96
00:03:31,127 --> 00:03:34,631
Being a fabin
is not always easy.
97
00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:38,635
Um, i can certainly understand
how the kennedys feel.
98
00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:42,138
Corky: I had been
living in new york
99
00:03:42,138 --> 00:03:44,641
and working there
as an actor and director
100
00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:47,143
and choreographer
for 25 years or so,
101
00:03:47,143 --> 00:03:49,646
and i really felt
i needed a change.
102
00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:52,148
I imagined, in my fantasy,
i suppose,
103
00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:54,651
that when i came here,
104
00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:57,153
i would have a completely
different life.
105
00:03:57,654 --> 00:04:00,156
Uh, perhaps, um...
106
00:04:00,156 --> 00:04:01,658
a construction worker
107
00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:03,159
or one of those guys
108
00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:07,163
that works on those
high-wire things that, uh...
109
00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:08,164
with the hard hat.
110
00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:10,667
You know,
that sweeping sort of hat.
111
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:13,169
And, uh, with the chaps.
112
00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:15,672
But that didn't really
work out.
113
00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:17,674
I began to realize, i guess,
114
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:20,176
that the theater
was still in my blood,
115
00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:23,179
and what i had to do was
make use of that,
116
00:04:23,179 --> 00:04:27,183
so i offered my services
to the high school here,
117
00:04:27,183 --> 00:04:28,685
and they accepted,
118
00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:30,687
and i began to teach drama.
119
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:32,689
And within about 6 months,
120
00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:35,191
i had formed
the blaine community players.
121
00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:36,192
I got to tell you,
122
00:04:36,192 --> 00:04:38,194
we are very, very excited
about the big show
123
00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:40,697
that's happening
at the end of the festival.
124
00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:43,199
Everyone right now
is just going crazy
125
00:04:43,199 --> 00:04:44,701
getting ready to audition.
126
00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:47,203
And unfortunately
i won't be able to audition.
127
00:04:47,203 --> 00:04:50,206
We have to stock that day
and can't get out of it.
128
00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:53,710
And corky will not let me
audition any other time.
129
00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:55,712
So, "that's show business,"
is what he told me,
130
00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:58,214
and, uh, you know,
he's the master.
131
00:04:58,214 --> 00:04:59,716
You gotta give him credit
for that.
132
00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:01,718
Phil: President mckinley
did a whistle-stop tour
133
00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:03,720
back in 1898.
134
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,722
And a little boy,
jimmy mcbean,
135
00:05:06,222 --> 00:05:07,223
made a stool for him.
136
00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:09,726
And he loved it so much
that he called back,
137
00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:11,728
and said, "lookit, i would
like to give more of these
138
00:05:12,228 --> 00:05:13,730
to dignitaries
who are visiting."
139
00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:15,231
And before you knew it,
140
00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:19,235
blaine is manufacturing
all these footstools.
141
00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:21,237
And that's how the big...
142
00:05:21,237 --> 00:05:23,740
that's how we got
the stool boom.
143
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:27,744
Blaine became the stool capital
of the world.
144
00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:29,879
Corky: My first show
wasbarefoot in the park,
145
00:05:29,879 --> 00:05:32,382
which was an absolute smash,
146
00:05:32,382 --> 00:05:34,884
but my production
on the stage ofbackdraft
147
00:05:34,884 --> 00:05:36,886
was what really
got them excited.
148
00:05:36,886 --> 00:05:40,890
This whole idea of
in-your-face theater
149
00:05:41,391 --> 00:05:42,892
really affected them.
150
00:05:42,892 --> 00:05:45,395
The conceptualization,
the whole abstraction,
151
00:05:45,395 --> 00:05:47,897
the obtuseness
of this production to me
152
00:05:47,897 --> 00:05:49,399
was what was interesting.
153
00:05:49,899 --> 00:05:53,903
I wanted the audience
to feel the heat from the fire,
154
00:05:53,903 --> 00:05:57,407
the fear... because people
don't like fire poked,
155
00:05:57,907 --> 00:05:59,409
poked in their noses.
156
00:05:59,409 --> 00:06:00,910
You know, when you get
a cinder from barbecue
157
00:06:01,411 --> 00:06:01,911
right on the end
of your nose
158
00:06:02,412 --> 00:06:04,414
and you kind of make
that little face.
159
00:06:04,414 --> 00:06:05,915
That's not a good thing.
160
00:06:05,915 --> 00:06:08,418
I wanted to have
the sense memory of that.
161
00:06:08,918 --> 00:06:10,920
So during the show,
162
00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:12,422
i had someone
burn newspapers
163
00:06:12,922 --> 00:06:15,425
and... and send it through
the vents in the theater.
164
00:06:15,425 --> 00:06:17,427
Well, they freaked out.
165
00:06:17,927 --> 00:06:19,929
Of course, the fire marshal
came over,
166
00:06:19,929 --> 00:06:22,432
and they shut us down
for a couple of days.
167
00:06:22,932 --> 00:06:23,933
Ron: Mr. Bluestein,
168
00:06:23,933 --> 00:06:25,935
montezuma's revenge
is nothing more
169
00:06:25,935 --> 00:06:28,938
than good old-fashioned
american diarrhea.
170
00:06:28,938 --> 00:06:29,939
Adult diapers
171
00:06:29,939 --> 00:06:32,442
should never even
enter the picture.
172
00:06:32,442 --> 00:06:35,945
So you lose
a few pounds.
173
00:06:35,945 --> 00:06:37,947
My mom used to say
that blaine
174
00:06:37,947 --> 00:06:39,949
is a little town
with a big heart
175
00:06:39,949 --> 00:06:42,452
in the heart
of a big country.
176
00:06:42,952 --> 00:06:44,454
And, to me, blaine
is a kind of town
177
00:06:44,954 --> 00:06:48,458
where i can have
my own business,
178
00:06:48,458 --> 00:06:51,461
meet and marry a wonderful
woman like sheila,
179
00:06:51,461 --> 00:06:54,964
and... and be something,
be somebody.
180
00:06:54,964 --> 00:06:56,966
Some people
find it ironical
181
00:06:56,966 --> 00:06:58,468
that even though
we run a travel agency,
182
00:06:58,468 --> 00:07:00,970
we've never been
outside of blaine.
183
00:07:00,970 --> 00:07:02,472
Sheila:
With one exception.
184
00:07:02,972 --> 00:07:04,474
Well, we've never
been out...
185
00:07:04,474 --> 00:07:05,975
you left blaine.
186
00:07:05,975 --> 00:07:07,977
Well, i went
to jefferson city once.
187
00:07:07,977 --> 00:07:08,978
It was a...
188
00:07:08,978 --> 00:07:09,979
tell them why.
189
00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:12,482
[Sighs]
It was a medical reason.
190
00:07:13,983 --> 00:07:15,485
You can tell 'em.
191
00:07:15,485 --> 00:07:18,488
Just minor surgery.
192
00:07:21,491 --> 00:07:23,993
Libby: I've been
working here at the d.q.
193
00:07:23,993 --> 00:07:25,995
For about, um...
194
00:07:28,998 --> 00:07:31,501
8 months, 7.
195
00:07:31,501 --> 00:07:33,503
I don't know.
Something like that.
196
00:07:33,503 --> 00:07:35,004
It's fun.
197
00:07:35,004 --> 00:07:37,507
You just do the cones.
198
00:07:37,507 --> 00:07:40,510
Make sundaes,
make blizzards, and...
199
00:07:40,510 --> 00:07:42,011
put stuff on 'em and...
200
00:07:42,512 --> 00:07:44,514
see a lot of people come in.
201
00:07:44,514 --> 00:07:46,516
A lot of people
come to the d.q.
202
00:07:47,016 --> 00:07:49,519
Burgers. Ice cream.
203
00:07:49,519 --> 00:07:52,522
Anything, you know?
204
00:07:52,522 --> 00:07:55,024
Cokes. Just drive in
and get a coke,
205
00:07:55,024 --> 00:07:57,527
if you're thirsty.
206
00:07:57,527 --> 00:08:00,530
Everybody thinks that roswell
was the first sighting
207
00:08:00,530 --> 00:08:02,532
of a ufo
in the united states,
208
00:08:02,532 --> 00:08:04,033
and that's bull roar.
209
00:08:04,033 --> 00:08:06,536
We had the first sighting
here in 1946.
210
00:08:06,536 --> 00:08:09,038
And it wasrt just a sighting.
They didn't just fly by.
211
00:08:09,038 --> 00:08:11,040
They stopped. They landed.
212
00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:13,042
The people in blaine
went onboard the ship
213
00:08:13,543 --> 00:08:15,044
for a potluck dinner.
214
00:08:15,044 --> 00:08:18,047
Ufo expert: I've been coming out
to this landing site
215
00:08:18,047 --> 00:08:20,049
every day for 2 years
216
00:08:20,049 --> 00:08:22,051
to measure it.
217
00:08:22,051 --> 00:08:24,053
And here's the thing...
218
00:08:24,053 --> 00:08:27,557
the circumference
and the diameter change
219
00:08:27,557 --> 00:08:28,558
by a few inches,
220
00:08:29,058 --> 00:08:31,561
yet the radius
remains the same.
221
00:08:31,561 --> 00:08:33,563
Which brings me back
to the number 5.
222
00:08:34,063 --> 00:08:37,066
There are 5 letters
in the name "blaine."
223
00:08:37,567 --> 00:08:39,569
Mix the word "blaine" up,
mix it around,
224
00:08:39,569 --> 00:08:42,071
eventually,
you'll get "nebali."
225
00:08:42,071 --> 00:08:45,074
Neball...
the name of the planet
226
00:08:45,074 --> 00:08:48,077
in a galaxy way, way...
227
00:08:48,077 --> 00:08:50,079
way... far away.
228
00:08:50,580 --> 00:08:51,581
I'll tell you another thing.
229
00:08:51,581 --> 00:08:53,082
Once you step inside
this circle,
230
00:08:53,082 --> 00:08:56,586
[inales]
The weather never changes.
231
00:08:57,086 --> 00:08:59,589
It is always 67 degrees
232
00:09:00,089 --> 00:09:02,091
with a 40% chance of rain.
233
00:09:02,091 --> 00:09:03,092
Always.
234
00:09:03,092 --> 00:09:06,095
Allan: L... i love
to make people laugh,
235
00:09:06,095 --> 00:09:08,598
and i've been doing it
since...
236
00:09:08,598 --> 00:09:09,599
you know, school.
237
00:09:10,099 --> 00:09:12,101
People ask me,
"were you a..."
238
00:09:12,101 --> 00:09:16,105
you know, "you must have been
the class clown."
239
00:09:16,105 --> 00:09:20,109
And i say, uh,
"no, i wasrt."
240
00:09:20,109 --> 00:09:22,111
But i sat beside
the class clown,
241
00:09:22,612 --> 00:09:24,614
and I... i studied him,
242
00:09:24,614 --> 00:09:28,117
and, uh, and saw
how he made people laugh.
243
00:09:28,117 --> 00:09:31,120
And so i picked some things up,
and, uh, you know,
244
00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:33,122
and at parties
and family functions,
245
00:09:33,122 --> 00:09:37,126
i have to say, i love,
you know, breaking people up.
246
00:09:37,126 --> 00:09:40,129
So, there's a thing
that i think i got...
247
00:09:40,129 --> 00:09:43,132
a... a... an entertaining bug
248
00:09:43,132 --> 00:09:46,636
from my grandfather, uh,
chaim progot
249
00:09:46,636 --> 00:09:50,640
who was very, very big
in the yiddish theater
250
00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:51,641
back in new york.
251
00:09:52,141 --> 00:09:56,646
He was in the... the very...
the sardonically irreverent
252
00:09:56,646 --> 00:10:00,650
dybbuk schmybbuk:
I said more ham.
253
00:10:00,650 --> 00:10:03,653
And that revue,
i believe, was 1914,
254
00:10:03,653 --> 00:10:07,156
and that revue
is what made him famous.
255
00:10:07,156 --> 00:10:11,160
Incidentally, the song
bubbee made a kishke
256
00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:12,662
came from that revue.
257
00:10:12,662 --> 00:10:15,164
My... my father, bless him,
258
00:10:15,164 --> 00:10:17,166
brought me
into... into the business.
259
00:10:17,166 --> 00:10:20,670
This was his dental practice,
uh, before,
260
00:10:20,670 --> 00:10:22,672
and i joke with my wife
that, uh, you know,
261
00:10:23,172 --> 00:10:25,174
at that point,
that's when the, uh,
262
00:10:25,174 --> 00:10:28,678
the money
started rolling in.
263
00:10:28,678 --> 00:10:31,180
You know.
264
00:10:31,180 --> 00:10:34,684
Brave making m-more wampum
265
00:10:34,684 --> 00:10:36,686
to buy pelts.
266
00:10:39,689 --> 00:10:42,692
One happy squaw in wigwam.
267
00:10:42,692 --> 00:10:44,694
Happy as mongoose.
268
00:10:46,195 --> 00:10:48,197
That, uh...
269
00:10:48,197 --> 00:10:51,200
is, of course,
from johnny carson who, uh...
270
00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:53,703
one of my heroes
in a very funny bit.
271
00:10:53,703 --> 00:10:58,374
Man:?? When i see lips
waiting to be kissed??
272
00:10:58,374 --> 00:10:59,875
?? I can't stop??
273
00:10:59,875 --> 00:11:01,377
?? I can't stop??
274
00:11:01,877 --> 00:11:04,880
?? For that lightning,
oh, it's striking??
275
00:11:05,381 --> 00:11:06,882
?? Again??
276
00:11:07,383 --> 00:11:08,384
?? Yeah??
277
00:11:08,384 --> 00:11:12,388
?? Lightning's striking??
278
00:11:12,388 --> 00:11:15,391
?? Again and
again and again and??
279
00:11:17,893 --> 00:11:19,395
[Coughs]
280
00:11:19,395 --> 00:11:23,399
I'm going to do a scene
from the movieraging bull.
281
00:11:25,901 --> 00:11:27,403
You fucked my wife?
282
00:11:27,403 --> 00:11:29,405
What?
283
00:11:29,905 --> 00:11:30,906
You fucked my wife?
284
00:11:31,407 --> 00:11:33,409
How can you ask me
a question like that?
285
00:11:33,409 --> 00:11:34,910
How can you ask me?
286
00:11:34,910 --> 00:11:36,412
I'm your brother
and you ask me that?
287
00:11:36,412 --> 00:11:38,414
Where do you get the balls
big enough to ask me that?
288
00:11:38,914 --> 00:11:41,917
Basically for
the last 15 years,
289
00:11:41,917 --> 00:11:44,420
i have been
the music teacher
290
00:11:44,420 --> 00:11:46,922
at blaine high,
291
00:11:46,922 --> 00:11:49,425
um, and part of my job,
292
00:11:49,425 --> 00:11:51,427
and a very
important part
293
00:11:51,427 --> 00:11:53,429
is to put on a show
every year,
294
00:11:53,429 --> 00:11:55,431
which i have done
completely by myself.
295
00:11:55,431 --> 00:11:58,434
This year it's going
to be different
296
00:11:58,434 --> 00:12:01,937
because corky,
being from new york,
297
00:12:01,937 --> 00:12:03,439
being a professional
298
00:12:03,439 --> 00:12:08,944
and having put on some very
theatrical productions here,
299
00:12:08,944 --> 00:12:14,450
uh, is going to be
directing the show this year
300
00:12:14,450 --> 00:12:17,453
and i'm going to be
the musical director,
301
00:12:17,953 --> 00:12:18,954
which is different for me.
302
00:12:18,954 --> 00:12:22,958
[Piano playing]
303
00:12:22,958 --> 00:12:24,460
?? Teacher's pet??
304
00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:28,964
?? I wanna be teacher's pet??
305
00:12:28,964 --> 00:12:32,468
?? I want to be
huddled and cuddled??
306
00:12:32,468 --> 00:12:35,471
?? And close to you
as i can get??
307
00:12:38,474 --> 00:12:40,476
?? Teacher's pride??
308
00:12:40,476 --> 00:12:44,480
?? I wanna be teacher's pride??
309
00:12:51,487 --> 00:12:53,989
Dr. Pearl! How are you?
Ron albertson.
310
00:12:53,989 --> 00:12:55,491
Yes, ron.
311
00:12:55,491 --> 00:12:56,992
My wife sheila.
312
00:12:56,992 --> 00:12:58,994
You remember her
from previous bills.
313
00:12:58,994 --> 00:13:00,496
Hello, sheila.
314
00:13:00,496 --> 00:13:01,497
What are you
doing here?
315
00:13:01,497 --> 00:13:04,500
I'm here, you know,
trying out for the big show.
316
00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:05,501
Congratulations.
317
00:13:06,001 --> 00:13:07,002
No, why are you
here really?
318
00:13:07,503 --> 00:13:11,006
I'm... i told my wife
i'd come out for this show.
319
00:13:11,006 --> 00:13:13,008
You know, i thought
i'd give it a shot.
320
00:13:13,008 --> 00:13:14,510
Give it your best shot,
321
00:13:14,510 --> 00:13:16,011
which won't be the first
shot you ever gave.
322
00:13:16,011 --> 00:13:18,013
Hope it doesn't leave corky
numb like most of them.
323
00:13:18,013 --> 00:13:20,516
It's like pulling teeth
to get a discount from him.
324
00:13:20,516 --> 00:13:23,018
Why don't you give some
caramels to the little girl?
325
00:13:23,018 --> 00:13:24,520
Future customers and all.
326
00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:26,021
?? So??
327
00:13:26,021 --> 00:13:29,024
?? I can be teacher's pet??
328
00:13:29,024 --> 00:13:32,027
?? Long after
school is through??
329
00:13:32,528 --> 00:13:35,030
?? Teacher, teacher,
i love you??
330
00:13:35,030 --> 00:13:37,032
Whoa!
331
00:13:37,032 --> 00:13:39,535
[Piano plays]
332
00:13:39,535 --> 00:13:43,038
?? High??
333
00:13:43,038 --> 00:13:44,540
Ahem. Maybe just...
334
00:13:44,540 --> 00:13:47,042
ahhh. Mmm.
335
00:13:47,042 --> 00:13:51,046
?? I dream of jeanie??
336
00:13:51,046 --> 00:13:55,551
?? With
the light brown hair??
337
00:13:55,551 --> 00:14:00,055
?? Floating like a vapor??
338
00:14:00,055 --> 00:14:04,560
?? On the soft summer air??
339
00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:05,561
Look out!
340
00:14:05,561 --> 00:14:07,563
?? Camptown races
sing this song??
341
00:14:08,063 --> 00:14:09,565
?? Doo-dah, doo-dah??
342
00:14:09,565 --> 00:14:11,567
?? Camptown racetrack
5 miles long??
343
00:14:11,567 --> 00:14:13,569
?? Oh, doo-dah day??
344
00:14:13,569 --> 00:14:15,070
?? Gwine to run all night??
345
00:14:15,070 --> 00:14:17,573
?? Gwine to run all day??
346
00:14:17,573 --> 00:14:19,575
?? Bet my money
on the bob-tail nag??
347
00:14:19,575 --> 00:14:21,076
?
?? Somebody bet on the bay?
348
00:14:21,076 --> 00:14:24,580
?? Bay, bay, bay??
349
00:14:24,580 --> 00:14:29,585
?? Way down
upon the swannee ribber??
350
00:14:30,085 --> 00:14:33,589
[Exhales]
351
00:14:33,589 --> 00:14:36,592
[Jingling]
352
00:14:36,592 --> 00:14:40,095
?? Floating like??
353
00:14:40,095 --> 00:14:42,598
?? A vapor??
354
00:14:43,098 --> 00:14:47,102
?? On the soft summer??
355
00:14:47,102 --> 00:14:54,610
?? Air??
356
00:14:55,110 --> 00:14:58,614
?? Air??
357
00:15:00,115 --> 00:15:02,117
That was...
very nice.
358
00:15:02,117 --> 00:15:03,118
Very good.
Very good.
359
00:15:03,118 --> 00:15:04,620
Corky: Well, thank you,
dr. Pearl.
360
00:15:04,620 --> 00:15:06,622
Well, thank you very much.
361
00:15:07,122 --> 00:15:08,123
Corky:
We'll let you know.
362
00:15:08,624 --> 00:15:10,125
Very good.
363
00:15:10,125 --> 00:15:11,627
Thank you.
364
00:15:11,627 --> 00:15:14,129
Thank you.
365
00:15:14,129 --> 00:15:16,632
He can
actually sing.
366
00:15:16,632 --> 00:15:18,634
He's good.
[Whistles] wow.
367
00:15:18,634 --> 00:15:20,636
Lloyd: The albertsons?
368
00:15:23,639 --> 00:15:27,142
[Piano playing
midnight at the oasis]
369
00:15:30,646 --> 00:15:32,648
Ding-dong.
370
00:15:32,648 --> 00:15:34,149
Oh!
371
00:15:34,149 --> 00:15:36,652
I wonder who knows i'm
vacationing here at the oasis.
372
00:15:39,154 --> 00:15:40,155
Am i late?
373
00:15:40,155 --> 00:15:41,156
You!
374
00:15:41,156 --> 00:15:42,157
Surprised?
375
00:15:42,658 --> 00:15:43,659
How did you find me?
376
00:15:43,659 --> 00:15:45,661
I have my ways.
377
00:15:45,661 --> 00:15:48,163
Would you like to
come in for coffee?
378
00:15:48,163 --> 00:15:51,667
[Loudly]
?? You don't need to answer??
379
00:15:52,167 --> 00:15:54,670
?? There's no need
to speak??
380
00:15:56,672 --> 00:16:00,175
?? I'll be
your belly dancer??
381
00:16:00,175 --> 00:16:02,177
?? Prancer??
382
00:16:02,177 --> 00:16:05,681
?? And i will be
your sheik??
383
00:16:05,681 --> 00:16:09,685
?? I don't need
a harem, honey??
384
00:16:10,185 --> 00:16:12,187
?? When you're
by my side??
385
00:16:12,688 --> 00:16:16,692
?? And you won't
need a camel??
386
00:16:16,692 --> 00:16:18,694
?? No, no??
387
00:16:18,694 --> 00:16:21,196
?? When i take
you for a ride??
388
00:16:21,697 --> 00:16:24,199
We'll need some coffee to go
with that ride, won't we?
389
00:16:24,199 --> 00:16:27,202
You're always
full of surprises.
390
00:16:27,202 --> 00:16:28,704
But, say, i wonder,
391
00:16:28,704 --> 00:16:29,705
do we have time
for that coffee?
392
00:16:30,205 --> 00:16:31,206
What time is it?
393
00:16:31,206 --> 00:16:32,708
What time is it? Havert
you been paying attention?
394
00:16:32,708 --> 00:16:33,709
?? It's??
395
00:16:34,209 --> 00:16:39,214
?? Midnight at the oasis??
396
00:16:39,214 --> 00:16:41,717
Thank you.
Oh... good.
397
00:16:41,717 --> 00:16:43,719
Corky: That was great.
398
00:16:43,719 --> 00:16:44,720
Really good.
399
00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:46,722
Thanks a lot.
400
00:16:47,222 --> 00:16:48,223
Thanks for coming.
401
00:16:48,724 --> 00:16:50,225
Should we leave the...?
402
00:16:50,225 --> 00:16:52,227
Corky: Why don't you
put that back there?
403
00:16:52,227 --> 00:16:53,729
Yeah.
Strike it?
404
00:16:53,729 --> 00:16:55,731
We've done a few shows
for corky before,
405
00:16:55,731 --> 00:16:56,732
so we know all
the terms going in.
406
00:16:56,732 --> 00:16:57,733
Thank you.
407
00:16:57,733 --> 00:16:59,234
Thanks so much.
It was really fun.
408
00:16:59,234 --> 00:17:00,235
Thank you.
409
00:17:00,235 --> 00:17:02,237
Lloyd: Thank you.
410
00:17:02,237 --> 00:17:03,739
Corky: Wow.
411
00:17:03,739 --> 00:17:06,608
I'm feeling good
412
00:17:06,608 --> 00:17:08,610
about where we stand now
with our cast.
413
00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:14,616
I think that the elements,
as dr. Watson said to sherlock,
414
00:17:14,616 --> 00:17:16,618
"are coming together, sir."
415
00:17:16,618 --> 00:17:19,621
I'm very excited
about ron and sheila,
416
00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:22,124
the old standbys,
the work horses.
417
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:24,126
I call them
the lunts of blaine.
418
00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:27,129
Allan pearl. Interesting.
How do these...
419
00:17:27,629 --> 00:17:28,630
where do they come from?
420
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:30,632
Sure, i'd seen him around.
421
00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:32,634
It would never have occurred
to me to walk up
422
00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:36,638
to the dentist and say,
"are you interested in this?"
423
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:40,642
But i was shopping
for my wife bonnie...
424
00:17:40,642 --> 00:17:43,645
i buy most of her clothes...
425
00:17:43,645 --> 00:17:48,150
and mrs. Pearl
was in the same shop.
426
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:50,652
And it just was an accident.
427
00:17:50,652 --> 00:17:54,156
We started talking
about pantyhose.
428
00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:57,659
She was saying... that's not
the point of the story,
429
00:17:57,659 --> 00:18:00,662
but what the point is
was that through
430
00:18:00,662 --> 00:18:03,165
this accidental meeting,
it's like, you know,
431
00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:04,666
it's like
a hitchcock movie
432
00:18:04,666 --> 00:18:06,668
where you're thrown
into a rubber bag
433
00:18:06,668 --> 00:18:10,672
and put in
the trunk of a car.
434
00:18:11,173 --> 00:18:14,676
You find people.
You find them.
435
00:18:14,676 --> 00:18:17,679
Something. Is it karma?
436
00:18:17,679 --> 00:18:19,681
Maybe.
437
00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:22,684
But we found him,
that's the important thing.
438
00:18:22,684 --> 00:18:25,687
And i got bonnie
a wonderful pants suit.
439
00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:28,690
They took me off
into a separate room.
440
00:18:28,690 --> 00:18:30,192
I seen 'em taking
different people off.
441
00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:32,694
Different ones of us off
in separate rooms.
442
00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:35,697
They put me on
a big white table
443
00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:38,200
and, uh, the guy
that take me there,
444
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:42,204
the one of them that took me
in there to examine me,
445
00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:43,705
he probed me.
446
00:18:43,705 --> 00:18:46,708
I was in there i bet
more than 3 or 4 hours,
447
00:18:46,708 --> 00:18:48,710
in that room being probed.
448
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:50,712
And at one time or another,
449
00:18:50,712 --> 00:18:53,215
there's different
ones of them come in,
450
00:18:53,215 --> 00:18:54,216
4, 5, 6 of them
at different times,
451
00:18:54,716 --> 00:18:56,218
and all of them probed me.
452
00:18:56,718 --> 00:18:59,721
Not all at once, you know.
Individually.
453
00:18:59,721 --> 00:19:03,725
Later on, years later,
now even still,
454
00:19:03,725 --> 00:19:05,727
it's a funny thing.
455
00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:07,729
It happened on a sunday,
456
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:09,231
and every sunday
about the time
457
00:19:09,731 --> 00:19:12,734
that i was taken
onboard that ship,
458
00:19:12,734 --> 00:19:16,238
i find i have
no feelings in my buttocks.
459
00:19:16,238 --> 00:19:18,740
Corky:
Casting a show is really
460
00:19:18,740 --> 00:19:21,743
only the beginning
of the process.
461
00:19:21,743 --> 00:19:24,746
There's also
the whole design concept,
462
00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:27,249
what fabrics will work
for the costumes,
463
00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:28,750
the lighting,
464
00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:32,254
and it really becomes
a wrasslir match, i guess,
465
00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:35,257
between me
and the muse of theater,
466
00:19:35,257 --> 00:19:37,759
and most of all, dance.
467
00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:39,761
[Techno music playing]
468
00:19:55,777 --> 00:19:57,579
Corky: I'd like you
to close your eyes now,
469
00:19:57,579 --> 00:19:59,581
and i'd like you to try
something, all right?
470
00:19:59,581 --> 00:20:01,583
Now, what are you thinking,
471
00:20:01,583 --> 00:20:04,586
what are you feeling right now
with your eyes closed?
472
00:20:04,586 --> 00:20:08,590
I feel a bree... you're
blowing in my ear.
473
00:20:08,590 --> 00:20:11,093
All right, but, see,
you jumped to a conclusion.
474
00:20:11,093 --> 00:20:12,094
Oh.
475
00:20:12,094 --> 00:20:14,096
See, what i'm asking for is
476
00:20:14,096 --> 00:20:16,598
your first feeling was not
that i was blowing on you,
477
00:20:16,598 --> 00:20:19,101
it was more like...
478
00:20:19,601 --> 00:20:24,106
virgin isles or
bahamanian or arubian.
479
00:20:24,606 --> 00:20:25,107
Yes.
480
00:20:25,607 --> 00:20:27,109
Mrs. Pearl:
Yeah, he's at his rehearsal.
481
00:20:27,109 --> 00:20:28,610
He's at his first rehearsal.
482
00:20:28,610 --> 00:20:30,112
I don't know
what they're doing
483
00:20:30,112 --> 00:20:32,114
'cause i never been
to one before,
484
00:20:32,614 --> 00:20:35,617
but i bet they're introducing
themselves to each other.
485
00:20:35,617 --> 00:20:37,619
You know, it's gonna be nice
486
00:20:37,619 --> 00:20:39,621
to meet
some of these new folks,
487
00:20:39,621 --> 00:20:44,126
'cause we don't socialize
with the creative types.
488
00:20:44,126 --> 00:20:46,628
We got our scrabble club
and stuff,
489
00:20:46,628 --> 00:20:49,131
and, um, you know,
490
00:20:49,131 --> 00:20:51,633
and other people
with babies.
491
00:20:51,633 --> 00:20:53,635
[Drumming and clapping]
492
00:20:57,139 --> 00:20:58,140
Right. Good.
493
00:20:58,140 --> 00:21:01,143
Libby: Oh, the exercises
all mean something.
494
00:21:01,143 --> 00:21:03,645
Even if you don't know what.
495
00:21:04,146 --> 00:21:08,150
Dr. Pearl,
well, he'll come around,
496
00:21:08,150 --> 00:21:13,655
and he'll learn like ron and
sheila and i have learned
497
00:21:13,655 --> 00:21:15,157
that corky has a vision.
498
00:21:15,157 --> 00:21:17,659
[Drumming]
499
00:21:19,161 --> 00:21:21,163
Whoa! Whoa!
500
00:21:24,166 --> 00:21:25,167
Whoo!
501
00:21:27,169 --> 00:21:28,170
Oh!
502
00:21:28,170 --> 00:21:30,172
You!
Forget about it! Ha ha!
503
00:21:30,172 --> 00:21:32,674
Ha ha! I went like this.
504
00:21:32,674 --> 00:21:35,177
Forget about it. Ha ha!
505
00:21:35,177 --> 00:21:36,678
With her it's ok,
506
00:21:36,678 --> 00:21:40,182
but with him,
he thought... ha ha!
507
00:21:40,182 --> 00:21:41,683
[Sighs]
508
00:21:41,683 --> 00:21:46,688
I, uh, i'm walking
on air, you know.
509
00:21:46,688 --> 00:21:49,691
This is a sensation
which is... forget it.
510
00:21:49,691 --> 00:21:52,194
When i became a dentist,
i thought i was happy,
511
00:21:52,194 --> 00:21:55,197
but this is... this is
making me nervous now,
512
00:21:55,197 --> 00:21:58,200
because i could have
wasted a lot of years.
513
00:21:58,700 --> 00:22:00,702
I must say
i was very shocked to see
514
00:22:00,702 --> 00:22:02,704
that dr. Pearl had
actually been cast.
515
00:22:02,704 --> 00:22:04,206
Then i thought...
516
00:22:04,206 --> 00:22:06,708
we're in a glamor profession,
being travel agents,
517
00:22:06,708 --> 00:22:09,211
and he isn't in
such a glamorous...
518
00:22:09,211 --> 00:22:11,213
one project,
we have to loosen him up.
519
00:22:11,213 --> 00:22:13,215
I have a feeling
he's a little tight.
520
00:22:13,215 --> 00:22:15,217
Particularly when
he's around us probably.
521
00:22:15,217 --> 00:22:16,218
I don't think
he'll mind jokes.
522
00:22:16,218 --> 00:22:17,219
You're intimidating,
ron...
523
00:22:17,219 --> 00:22:18,220
i can't help it.
524
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:20,222
Because you have
so much experience.
525
00:22:20,222 --> 00:22:22,224
Ron is going to help
everyone act,
526
00:22:22,224 --> 00:22:24,726
'cause i know
ron gives me...
527
00:22:24,726 --> 00:22:26,228
well, in all the productions
we've been in,
528
00:22:26,728 --> 00:22:28,230
and when we do scene studies
at home together,
529
00:22:28,730 --> 00:22:31,233
ron will have extensive,
530
00:22:31,733 --> 00:22:34,236
you know, hour, 2-hour
sessions of notes for me,
531
00:22:34,236 --> 00:22:35,237
and it's so helpful.
532
00:22:35,737 --> 00:22:36,738
It's notes
for both of us.
533
00:22:36,738 --> 00:22:38,240
No, but lately...
534
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:39,241
you get most of them.
535
00:22:39,741 --> 00:22:41,243
He's trying to help me
to change my instincts
536
00:22:41,243 --> 00:22:42,611
or at least ignore them.
537
00:22:44,112 --> 00:22:47,115
Corky: Listen,
let me tell you why i'm here.
538
00:22:47,115 --> 00:22:50,118
We're doing a show.
I won't beat around the bush.
539
00:22:50,118 --> 00:22:51,119
We're doing a show
that i've written
540
00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:54,122
about the 150th anniversary
of blaine,
541
00:22:54,122 --> 00:22:55,624
and i know
you're an old blainian.
542
00:22:55,624 --> 00:22:57,125
Yes?
543
00:22:57,125 --> 00:23:00,128
And you're really right
for one of the parts.
544
00:23:00,128 --> 00:23:03,131
It's the narrator
in the show.
545
00:23:03,131 --> 00:23:04,633
One of the actor parts?
546
00:23:04,633 --> 00:23:05,634
Yeah.
547
00:23:05,634 --> 00:23:06,635
Oh, i don't know.
548
00:23:07,135 --> 00:23:09,137
I've heard... i think
you're being modest
549
00:23:09,137 --> 00:23:11,139
because i've heard
you've had some history
550
00:23:11,139 --> 00:23:12,140
in show business.
551
00:23:12,140 --> 00:23:16,144
Well, you know i did have,
i had a hankering
552
00:23:16,144 --> 00:23:18,647
to be an actor
when i was a young fella,
553
00:23:18,647 --> 00:23:20,148
when i got out of
the coast guard,
554
00:23:20,649 --> 00:23:23,151
but i went to taxidermy
school instead.
555
00:23:23,151 --> 00:23:24,653
Well, i took
a correspondence course.
556
00:23:25,153 --> 00:23:25,654
Uh-huh.
557
00:23:26,154 --> 00:23:27,656
I'll tell you something,
mr. Wooley,
558
00:23:27,656 --> 00:23:31,660
what i'm looking for
in my shows are actors
559
00:23:31,660 --> 00:23:34,162
and people that are
willing to work hard.
560
00:23:34,663 --> 00:23:38,166
Well, yeah, i'm a hard worker
as you can see.
561
00:23:38,166 --> 00:23:40,669
I love all the work
you've done.
562
00:23:40,669 --> 00:23:45,173
That's a little gun rack
made out of deer hooves.
563
00:23:45,173 --> 00:23:46,174
Oh, yeah.
564
00:23:46,174 --> 00:23:48,677
Boy, i didn't know
deers could do that.
565
00:23:48,677 --> 00:23:50,178
[Laughs]
566
00:23:53,181 --> 00:23:55,684
Corky: I know this
comes out of left field,
567
00:23:55,684 --> 00:23:57,185
but i'm looking
for another actor.
568
00:23:57,185 --> 00:24:00,188
And i was wondering
if you had any interest
569
00:24:00,188 --> 00:24:02,691
in participating
in the show.
570
00:24:02,691 --> 00:24:04,192
Does that appeal to you
in any way?
571
00:24:04,192 --> 00:24:06,695
I'm not much of an actor,
i'm sorry.
572
00:24:07,195 --> 00:24:09,698
I've never done that,
anything like that before.
573
00:24:09,698 --> 00:24:11,700
Uh-huh.
Ok, fair enough,
574
00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:14,202
but it might be
interesting, you know,
575
00:24:14,202 --> 00:24:16,705
after, uh...
do you get off tonight?
576
00:24:16,705 --> 00:24:18,206
What time do you
get off tonight?
577
00:24:18,206 --> 00:24:20,208
Well, i get off at 8:00.
578
00:24:20,208 --> 00:24:21,710
At 8:00 tonight?
Yeah.
579
00:24:22,210 --> 00:24:24,212
Really? That's...
that's a long day.
580
00:24:24,212 --> 00:24:25,213
Yeah.
581
00:24:25,213 --> 00:24:27,215
Hey, dad,
this is, uh, mr...
582
00:24:27,215 --> 00:24:28,717
st. Clair.
St. Clair.
583
00:24:28,717 --> 00:24:29,718
He's a drama guy.
584
00:24:29,718 --> 00:24:32,220
Yeah, and, um, at 8:00
you're off, though?
585
00:24:32,220 --> 00:24:33,722
Right.
Yeah.
586
00:24:33,722 --> 00:24:36,224
I have to tell you i'm not
much of an actor or singer.
587
00:24:36,224 --> 00:24:37,726
Well, you know what?
588
00:24:37,726 --> 00:24:39,227
That's what
charles laughton said.
589
00:24:39,227 --> 00:24:41,229
You know?
And look what happened.
590
00:24:41,229 --> 00:24:44,733
Did you change the fan belt
on that blue chevy?
591
00:24:45,233 --> 00:24:46,735
No, i haven't
done that yet.
592
00:24:46,735 --> 00:24:49,738
When you get done here,
will you get on that?
593
00:24:49,738 --> 00:24:50,739
Yeah.
594
00:24:51,239 --> 00:24:53,742
Um, so,
how tall are you?
595
00:24:54,242 --> 00:24:54,743
6'2".
596
00:24:55,243 --> 00:24:56,244
Really?
Mm-hmm.
597
00:24:56,244 --> 00:24:57,245
Wow.
598
00:24:59,748 --> 00:25:02,717
Singers:
?? It's all the same??
599
00:25:02,717 --> 00:25:05,220
When we say, "nothing
ever happens in blaine,"
600
00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:10,225
could we try you two
singing "blaine,"
601
00:25:10,725 --> 00:25:13,228
where we really hear
the "ne" at the end.
602
00:25:13,228 --> 00:25:16,731
And you guys just go,
"nothing ever happens in blai."
603
00:25:16,731 --> 00:25:18,733
Don't say the "ne."
They say the nes.
604
00:25:18,733 --> 00:25:20,235
And the same thing...
"nothing ever happens,
605
00:25:20,235 --> 00:25:22,237
it's all the same."
606
00:25:22,237 --> 00:25:24,239
And you sing,
"it's all the sa."
607
00:25:24,239 --> 00:25:25,740
Let's try it once,
ok, jean?
608
00:25:25,740 --> 00:25:27,742
1, 2, 3, and...
609
00:25:27,742 --> 00:25:30,245
i know it's hard
to jump into this,
610
00:25:30,245 --> 00:25:32,247
because it must seem
like a, you know...
611
00:25:32,247 --> 00:25:33,748
a new world,
612
00:25:33,748 --> 00:25:35,750
but we're gonna
ease you into it.
613
00:25:35,750 --> 00:25:37,252
And if you ever
have any questions,
614
00:25:37,752 --> 00:25:40,255
you can always call me up.
I'll give you my...
615
00:25:40,255 --> 00:25:41,256
i have a private number.
616
00:25:41,256 --> 00:25:43,258
It's not listed,
so don't lose it.
617
00:25:43,258 --> 00:25:45,760
And do not give it out
to... to anyone.
618
00:25:46,261 --> 00:25:49,764
"How high a ridge,
i could not tell,
619
00:25:50,265 --> 00:25:52,767
for the sun,
the sun has..."
620
00:25:52,767 --> 00:25:54,269
not pinching your shirt.
621
00:25:54,269 --> 00:25:56,271
I want, you see...
hook in those thumbs.
622
00:25:56,771 --> 00:25:57,772
Thumbs?
623
00:25:57,772 --> 00:26:00,275
Yeah, there you go.
624
00:26:00,275 --> 00:26:02,777
Yeah.
Just... that's right.
625
00:26:02,777 --> 00:26:05,280
"How high a ridge,
i could not tell..."
626
00:26:05,780 --> 00:26:07,282
see what's happening
with your voice already?
627
00:26:07,282 --> 00:26:10,285
'Cause it's almost as if you're
squeezing your boobies out,
628
00:26:10,285 --> 00:26:12,787
and it's... it's going to be
going out into that audience.
629
00:26:12,787 --> 00:26:14,289
Pushing it
right out there.
630
00:26:14,289 --> 00:26:15,790
I could try a "how."
631
00:26:15,790 --> 00:26:20,295
"How... how high a ridge,
i could not tell..."
632
00:26:21,796 --> 00:26:23,798
[tambourine playing]
633
00:26:29,304 --> 00:26:31,306
Keep in time.
634
00:26:31,306 --> 00:26:33,308
Ok.
635
00:26:33,308 --> 00:26:34,809
Right.
636
00:26:34,809 --> 00:26:35,810
Robin in the nest.
637
00:26:35,810 --> 00:26:37,812
Ok.
638
00:26:38,313 --> 00:26:39,314
Right.
639
00:26:39,314 --> 00:26:40,815
Good.
640
00:26:41,316 --> 00:26:42,317
This'll dominate the show.
641
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:47,322
?? By the pool??
642
00:26:47,322 --> 00:26:49,824
?? In the school
by the fires of yule??
643
00:26:49,824 --> 00:26:51,826
?? It's the rule??
644
00:26:51,826 --> 00:26:54,329
?? There's a stool,
there's a stool??
645
00:26:54,329 --> 00:26:55,830
?? Stools are where??
646
00:26:56,331 --> 00:26:58,833
?? Once upon a time
you'd find a chair??
647
00:26:58,833 --> 00:27:00,835
?? A chair's for fools??
648
00:27:00,835 --> 00:27:03,338
?? Everybody wants stools??
649
00:27:03,338 --> 00:27:05,340
?? Stool boom??
650
00:27:05,340 --> 00:27:08,343
?? From the parlor
to the pool room??
651
00:27:08,343 --> 00:27:11,346
?
?? Everyone knows our name?
652
00:27:11,346 --> 00:27:12,847
Whose script
is that?
653
00:27:12,847 --> 00:27:14,349
?? Stool...??
Oh, sorry.
654
00:27:14,349 --> 00:27:15,850
No, drool.
655
00:27:15,850 --> 00:27:17,352
?? You will...??
Oh, they're gonna be...
656
00:27:17,352 --> 00:27:18,353
?? Never stopping??
657
00:27:18,353 --> 00:27:19,854
?? Never breathing,
working??
658
00:27:23,358 --> 00:27:26,361
[Softly]
I don't want to interfere,
659
00:27:26,361 --> 00:27:29,364
but i think it would be...
660
00:27:30,865 --> 00:27:33,368
i think we have
to work on...
661
00:27:33,368 --> 00:27:34,369
i can't hear you.
662
00:27:34,369 --> 00:27:37,872
I think we have to work on
the music a little bit more.
663
00:27:37,872 --> 00:27:38,873
Fine.
664
00:27:38,873 --> 00:27:41,376
But i don't want
to make trouble, so...
665
00:27:41,376 --> 00:27:43,378
[whispering] and i don't
really want to do this
666
00:27:43,378 --> 00:27:45,380
in front of them,
but i think...
667
00:27:45,380 --> 00:27:47,382
where do you
want to do it?
668
00:27:47,382 --> 00:27:51,386
Well, i think we have to
sit down and make a schedule
669
00:27:51,886 --> 00:27:54,389
that includes
some... some music time,
670
00:27:54,389 --> 00:27:57,892
'cause i think jean and i
have to work...
671
00:27:58,393 --> 00:27:59,894
why are you whispering?
672
00:27:59,894 --> 00:28:01,896
I'm right here,
you know? I don't...
673
00:28:02,397 --> 00:28:03,398
oh, i'm sorry.
674
00:28:03,398 --> 00:28:06,401
Do you want me
to talk louder?
675
00:28:06,401 --> 00:28:09,404
Because i think
that it would be...
676
00:28:09,404 --> 00:28:10,905
well,
now it's too loud.
677
00:28:10,905 --> 00:28:13,908
You know, just talk like
a normal person, ok?
678
00:28:13,908 --> 00:28:16,911
I think what they
were doing was good.
679
00:28:16,911 --> 00:28:18,413
To me, you rehearse,
you rehearse.
680
00:28:18,913 --> 00:28:20,915
You get it perfect. You know
exactly what you're doing.
681
00:28:21,416 --> 00:28:21,916
And then what?
682
00:28:22,417 --> 00:28:23,418
And then you
forget about it.
683
00:28:23,418 --> 00:28:24,419
Let me pinpoint you.
684
00:28:24,419 --> 00:28:25,920
You said they learn it,
they forget it,
685
00:28:26,421 --> 00:28:27,422
and that's ok?
686
00:28:27,422 --> 00:28:28,923
That's f... great.
687
00:28:28,923 --> 00:28:29,924
Well,
they've forgotten it...
688
00:28:29,924 --> 00:28:32,427
but they never learned it.
So when did they learn it?
689
00:28:32,427 --> 00:28:33,928
I'm just saying,
when do we have the time...
690
00:28:33,928 --> 00:28:34,929
but what i'm saying is,
691
00:28:34,929 --> 00:28:36,431
if they're gonna
forget it anyway,
692
00:28:36,431 --> 00:28:37,932
then what difference
does it make?
693
00:28:37,932 --> 00:28:40,935
You see what i mean?
It's like one of those...
694
00:28:40,935 --> 00:28:42,937
it's like a...
it's a zen thing.
695
00:28:42,937 --> 00:28:45,440
It's like, you know...
you know,
696
00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:47,442
how many babies,
you know, fit
697
00:28:47,442 --> 00:28:48,943
in... in the tire thing?
698
00:28:49,444 --> 00:28:50,945
That whole...
the old joke, you know?
699
00:28:51,446 --> 00:28:53,948
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
No, you have a point.
700
00:28:54,449 --> 00:28:55,950
Uh, it's, you know,
an interesting point.
701
00:28:56,317 --> 00:28:59,320
Ron: And how'd you
find this place?
702
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:01,823
Allan: Well,
we've... we've been, uh...
703
00:29:01,823 --> 00:29:03,324
coming here for many,
many years.
704
00:29:03,324 --> 00:29:04,826
Oh, yeah,
we come every thursday.
705
00:29:05,326 --> 00:29:07,829
Well, with the rehearsals,
you won't be able to now.
706
00:29:08,329 --> 00:29:08,830
This is true.
707
00:29:09,330 --> 00:29:09,831
Ron:
You know, in china,
708
00:29:10,331 --> 00:29:11,332
they'll kill a monkey
at the table
709
00:29:11,833 --> 00:29:12,333
and split its head open,
710
00:29:12,834 --> 00:29:14,335
eat the brains
right out of it.
711
00:29:16,337 --> 00:29:17,839
We had friends...
ew.
712
00:29:18,339 --> 00:29:19,841
Barbara and bruce,
remember?
713
00:29:19,841 --> 00:29:21,342
Who went to, uh, china,
and i'm sure...
714
00:29:21,342 --> 00:29:22,844
you're in
the travel business...
715
00:29:22,844 --> 00:29:23,845
that you've been there,
716
00:29:23,845 --> 00:29:26,347
but they went to peking,
where they make the ducks,
717
00:29:26,347 --> 00:29:29,350
and what they say is
that the food over there
718
00:29:29,851 --> 00:29:30,852
is not as good...
719
00:29:30,852 --> 00:29:33,855
you can't get a sauce as
thick and sweet over there.
720
00:29:33,855 --> 00:29:34,856
They don't make it
like that.
721
00:29:34,856 --> 00:29:36,858
Their food is like
steamed or something.
722
00:29:36,858 --> 00:29:38,359
And they should've
called you, because...
723
00:29:38,359 --> 00:29:40,361
yeah, we got
some good packages.
724
00:29:40,361 --> 00:29:41,362
Incidentally, if you two
725
00:29:41,362 --> 00:29:42,864
ever want to get down
to miami, miami beach,
726
00:29:42,864 --> 00:29:45,366
we got a great package.
A week, 2 weeks.
727
00:29:45,867 --> 00:29:46,367
All expense... yeah.
728
00:29:46,868 --> 00:29:48,369
You get everything
you need,
729
00:29:48,369 --> 00:29:50,872
any kind of food
in blaine. You don't...
730
00:29:50,872 --> 00:29:52,373
you know,
you get chinese here.
731
00:29:52,373 --> 00:29:54,375
Uh, no need to go...
732
00:29:54,375 --> 00:29:55,877
we're talking about
miami now, dear.
733
00:29:55,877 --> 00:29:57,879
Yeah, we'd love to go.
We'd love to...
734
00:29:57,879 --> 00:29:58,880
is it a direct?
735
00:29:58,880 --> 00:29:59,881
A week, 2 weeks.
736
00:29:59,881 --> 00:30:01,382
Like there aren't
chinese people in miami.
737
00:30:01,883 --> 00:30:03,384
Allan: Well, we should.
You know, we've stopped...
738
00:30:03,384 --> 00:30:04,385
what does that have to do...
739
00:30:04,385 --> 00:30:05,887
of course there are
chinese people in miami.
740
00:30:05,887 --> 00:30:06,888
We're talking
about china now.
741
00:30:07,388 --> 00:30:08,389
I'm talking about
going to miami.
742
00:30:08,389 --> 00:30:09,891
Miami. We're talking
about miami now.
743
00:30:09,891 --> 00:30:11,893
Dear, why don't you put
some food on your stomach
744
00:30:11,893 --> 00:30:12,894
before you have
any more wine?
745
00:30:12,894 --> 00:30:14,896
What's it...
what's it...
746
00:30:14,896 --> 00:30:17,398
shh. Girl talk.
747
00:30:17,398 --> 00:30:20,401
What's it like to be
with a circumcised man?
748
00:30:20,902 --> 00:30:22,403
Allan:
That is interesting.
749
00:30:22,403 --> 00:30:25,406
I'd ask you more about
that, but ron said...
750
00:30:25,406 --> 00:30:26,908
"that whole
jew thing's..."
751
00:30:26,908 --> 00:30:28,910
aah.
752
00:30:28,910 --> 00:30:30,912
'Cause when ron
had his surgery...
753
00:30:30,912 --> 00:30:31,913
all right, all right,
all right.
754
00:30:31,913 --> 00:30:33,414
When ron had
his surgery, i said,
755
00:30:33,414 --> 00:30:34,916
"hey, circumcise it
while you're at it."
756
00:30:35,416 --> 00:30:37,418
'Cause i had never been
with anyone else.
757
00:30:37,418 --> 00:30:39,420
Rors the only man
i've been with.
758
00:30:39,921 --> 00:30:41,923
Well, what surgery, uh...
did he have some major...
759
00:30:41,923 --> 00:30:43,925
nothing. I had a little
minor corrective surgery.
760
00:30:43,925 --> 00:30:45,426
Could we have some coffee
at this table, please?
761
00:30:45,426 --> 00:30:47,428
It's not minor anymore.
762
00:30:47,428 --> 00:30:48,429
[Clears throat]
763
00:30:48,429 --> 00:30:49,931
Allan: Just...
764
00:30:49,931 --> 00:30:52,934
well, maybe, you know,
we should change the subject.
765
00:30:52,934 --> 00:30:56,437
I had what, you know,
most guys would, uh...
766
00:30:56,437 --> 00:30:57,939
dream of, you know.
767
00:30:57,939 --> 00:31:01,442
And i had to have, uh,
penis-reduction surgery.
768
00:31:01,442 --> 00:31:02,443
Allan: I'm sorry?
769
00:31:02,443 --> 00:31:03,444
Penis reduction.
770
00:31:03,444 --> 00:31:04,946
Which there aren't many.
771
00:31:04,946 --> 00:31:05,947
You're gonna say,
"i never heard of that,"
772
00:31:06,447 --> 00:31:07,448
'cause there haven't
been many cases.
773
00:31:07,949 --> 00:31:09,450
I said,
"ron, do something."
774
00:31:09,450 --> 00:31:12,453
And he said, "why don't
you get one of those...
775
00:31:12,453 --> 00:31:13,454
vagina enlargements?"
776
00:31:13,454 --> 00:31:15,456
Oh, dear! Could we have
some coffee over here?
777
00:31:15,957 --> 00:31:17,458
Have you tried
the egg rolls?
778
00:31:17,458 --> 00:31:18,960
Unbelievable.
779
00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:20,461
Let me ask you something.
You're a medical man.
780
00:31:20,461 --> 00:31:21,462
Allan: Yes.
781
00:31:21,462 --> 00:31:23,464
I want to ask you
something. If you... you...
782
00:31:23,464 --> 00:31:26,467
oh! Ohh,
for heavers sake! No!
783
00:31:26,467 --> 00:31:27,969
No. No, please.
No! I just want...
784
00:31:28,469 --> 00:31:29,470
doctor, please...
785
00:31:29,470 --> 00:31:32,974
medicine man not go near
dances with stumpy. No.
786
00:31:32,974 --> 00:31:34,776
Corky:
Everybody, everybody,
787
00:31:34,776 --> 00:31:37,779
i have a little
announcement to make.
788
00:31:37,779 --> 00:31:38,780
I wasrt gonna tell you.
789
00:31:38,780 --> 00:31:40,782
I sent out 10 letters
790
00:31:40,782 --> 00:31:43,284
to different producers
in new york city.
791
00:31:43,284 --> 00:31:44,285
Ron: That's great.
792
00:31:44,285 --> 00:31:47,288
This is from
the oppeneimer organization.
793
00:31:47,288 --> 00:31:49,791
"Dear mr. St. Clair,
794
00:31:49,791 --> 00:31:51,793
"in response to your letter
795
00:31:51,793 --> 00:31:54,796
"re: Blaine, missouri's
150th anniversary
796
00:31:55,296 --> 00:31:58,299
"and the debut
of your original musical
797
00:31:58,299 --> 00:32:00,301
"red, white, & blaine,
798
00:32:00,301 --> 00:32:02,303
"the oppeneimer
organization
799
00:32:02,303 --> 00:32:04,806
"is delighted to inform you
800
00:32:04,806 --> 00:32:06,808
"that it will be sending
a representative,
801
00:32:06,808 --> 00:32:08,810
"mr. Mort guffman,
802
00:32:08,810 --> 00:32:10,812
"to view the production
803
00:32:10,812 --> 00:32:12,814
and enlighten us
with his comments."
804
00:32:13,314 --> 00:32:14,315
How about that?
805
00:32:14,315 --> 00:32:16,317
"We thank you
for the invitation."
806
00:32:16,818 --> 00:32:21,322
And it says, "best regards,
samuel oppeneimer jr."
807
00:32:21,322 --> 00:32:24,826
Wow. What does
this mean, corky?
808
00:32:24,826 --> 00:32:26,828
What it means is,
809
00:32:26,828 --> 00:32:29,831
we may be goir
to broadway.
810
00:32:29,831 --> 00:32:30,832
Aah!
811
00:32:31,332 --> 00:32:33,334
Ohh!
812
00:32:33,334 --> 00:32:36,337
Oh, this is
great news!
813
00:32:36,337 --> 00:32:37,839
How about that?
814
00:32:37,839 --> 00:32:38,840
Did you hear that?
815
00:32:39,340 --> 00:32:41,843
Libby: My aunt...
i brought out her atlas
816
00:32:41,843 --> 00:32:43,344
that i look at a lot,
817
00:32:43,344 --> 00:32:46,347
this big blue book,
and opened up to new york.
818
00:32:46,347 --> 00:32:48,850
And it's an island,
is really what it is.
819
00:32:48,850 --> 00:32:52,353
It's this...
island full of people
820
00:32:52,353 --> 00:32:56,357
of different colors
and different ideas,
821
00:32:56,357 --> 00:32:59,360
and i can't... it sounds
like a lot of fun to me.
822
00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:03,865
You know, we don't see
much of that in blaine.
823
00:33:03,865 --> 00:33:07,869
I'd like to maybe
meet some guys and...
824
00:33:07,869 --> 00:33:10,371
italian guys or...
825
00:33:10,371 --> 00:33:11,873
you know,
i've watched tv and stuff.
826
00:33:11,873 --> 00:33:14,876
L-i'm gonna be glad to do
the show on broadway,
827
00:33:14,876 --> 00:33:16,377
and there'll probably
be other offers.
828
00:33:16,377 --> 00:33:18,379
Mmm. Keeping
our fingers crossed.
829
00:33:18,379 --> 00:33:21,382
But i don't know if the theater
and the stage is for me.
830
00:33:21,382 --> 00:33:22,884
For one thing,
831
00:33:22,884 --> 00:33:24,886
there's an awful lot
of memorizing of lines,
832
00:33:24,886 --> 00:33:27,388
and i think... and i think...
you know what i'm thinking.
833
00:33:27,889 --> 00:33:29,390
Yeah. That's always
been in your way.
834
00:33:29,390 --> 00:33:31,392
The ultimate goal...
hollywood.
835
00:33:31,893 --> 00:33:33,895
Even when i was a kid
doing my impressions...
836
00:33:33,895 --> 00:33:35,396
[imitating humphrey bogart]
"Here's looking at you, babe."
837
00:33:35,897 --> 00:33:36,898
And, uh...
838
00:33:36,898 --> 00:33:38,900
[imitating henry fonda]
"You don't care
839
00:33:38,900 --> 00:33:42,403
about anyone but yourself."
840
00:33:42,403 --> 00:33:43,905
Who was that?
Henry fonda.
841
00:33:43,905 --> 00:33:45,406
I always have to tell her
who i'm doing.
842
00:33:45,406 --> 00:33:47,909
She always laughs,
"now, who is that?"
843
00:33:47,909 --> 00:33:48,910
But i think, back there,
844
00:33:48,910 --> 00:33:49,911
there's always
the germ in my mind
845
00:33:50,411 --> 00:33:52,413
that that's where i'd end up...
on the silver screen.
846
00:33:52,413 --> 00:33:54,916
And you got the face
for it, too, darlir.
847
00:33:54,916 --> 00:33:56,417
You know, i want to try
848
00:33:56,417 --> 00:33:57,919
that "less is more"
kind of acting,
849
00:33:57,919 --> 00:33:59,921
where you just... when you're
talking to someone,
850
00:34:00,421 --> 00:34:02,423
you close your eyes,
and then you look at them
851
00:34:02,423 --> 00:34:03,925
when you're not
talking to the person.
852
00:34:03,925 --> 00:34:05,927
I mean, you open your eyes
when you're looking away,
853
00:34:05,927 --> 00:34:07,428
but then when you
talk to the person,
854
00:34:07,428 --> 00:34:08,930
you go like that.
And you open your eyes,
855
00:34:08,930 --> 00:34:09,931
and then you look back
at the person,
856
00:34:10,431 --> 00:34:11,933
but you never open your eyes
when you're talking to them.
857
00:34:11,933 --> 00:34:13,434
Corky: The guffman news
is really big,
858
00:34:13,434 --> 00:34:16,938
and, uh, i don't
truthfully think
859
00:34:16,938 --> 00:34:19,941
that the cast understand
how big.
860
00:34:20,441 --> 00:34:21,943
Um, they don't know
the new york thing.
861
00:34:21,943 --> 00:34:23,945
They haven't been
through it, and i have.
862
00:34:23,945 --> 00:34:26,447
You know, so it is kind of
on my shoulders,
863
00:34:26,948 --> 00:34:31,452
and... going to the big apple
for the first time,
864
00:34:31,452 --> 00:34:32,453
you know, is...
865
00:34:32,954 --> 00:34:34,956
such an experience.
You never forget it.
866
00:34:34,956 --> 00:34:36,958
It stays with you
for your whole life.
867
00:34:37,458 --> 00:34:38,960
Me, you know,
right out of the navy,
868
00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:41,462
you know,
fresh off a destroyer,
869
00:34:41,462 --> 00:34:44,465
uh, with a dance belt and a tube
of chapstick, basically.
870
00:34:44,966 --> 00:34:46,968
You know, not really much
to call my own.
871
00:34:46,968 --> 00:34:49,971
And then basically
being slammed down
872
00:34:49,971 --> 00:34:52,473
for 10 or so years,
you know,
873
00:34:52,473 --> 00:34:54,976
off off off off broadway,
874
00:34:54,976 --> 00:34:57,979
and then enough is enough,
ok? I get the joke.
875
00:34:57,979 --> 00:35:00,982
And... is that gonna happen
again? I don't know.
876
00:35:00,982 --> 00:35:02,483
I mean, and i don't want it
to happen again.
877
00:35:02,483 --> 00:35:04,986
In my deepest,
deepest of hearts,
878
00:35:04,986 --> 00:35:06,988
i do not want it
to happen again.
879
00:35:06,988 --> 00:35:10,491
Mr. Guffman brings with him...
a reputation,
880
00:35:10,491 --> 00:35:13,995
something bigger than anyone
in this town has ever known,
881
00:35:14,495 --> 00:35:17,498
and if i am to get back
to new york city
882
00:35:17,498 --> 00:35:19,000
on my terms,
883
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:22,003
i cannot deliver him...
a stinky product.
884
00:35:22,003 --> 00:35:26,507
I really have to be
presenting him a package.
885
00:35:26,507 --> 00:35:31,512
A beautifully wrapped,
glossy, sweet-smelling show.
886
00:35:31,512 --> 00:35:35,016
What i need from you...
887
00:35:35,016 --> 00:35:38,019
because you're the bosses
of the town, essentially,
888
00:35:38,019 --> 00:35:39,020
and i know that...
889
00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:40,521
is...
890
00:35:41,522 --> 00:35:43,024
this is so hard.
891
00:35:43,024 --> 00:35:45,026
I mean, there's nothing
easy about this.
892
00:35:45,026 --> 00:35:48,029
This is like when you're
getting your legs waxed,
893
00:35:48,029 --> 00:35:50,031
and they whip that thing off
real fast.
894
00:35:50,031 --> 00:35:52,533
That's what this is like.
895
00:35:52,533 --> 00:35:56,037
I need more money.
896
00:35:56,037 --> 00:35:58,039
Steve:
How much do you need?
897
00:35:58,039 --> 00:36:01,042
Steve's right. How much
are you thinking of, now?
898
00:36:01,042 --> 00:36:03,044
Ok. [sighs]
899
00:36:03,544 --> 00:36:05,046
What i need...
900
00:36:06,547 --> 00:36:08,549
is 100,000.
901
00:36:15,556 --> 00:36:17,058
Oh, brother!
902
00:36:17,058 --> 00:36:18,059
Corky!
903
00:36:18,059 --> 00:36:19,060
He is good.
904
00:36:19,060 --> 00:36:20,061
He is.
905
00:36:20,061 --> 00:36:21,562
Corky:
And let me explain,
906
00:36:22,063 --> 00:36:23,564
let me explain
what...
907
00:36:23,564 --> 00:36:24,565
go ahead.
908
00:36:25,066 --> 00:36:27,068
Oh, man, my heart stopped
for a second there.
909
00:36:27,068 --> 00:36:29,070
He started going "money"
and the whole guffman thing.
910
00:36:29,070 --> 00:36:31,572
Let me just explain
really what that entails.
911
00:36:31,572 --> 00:36:34,575
I bought it all the way,
by the way.
912
00:36:34,575 --> 00:36:36,577
Steve: He's not joking.
He's serious, glenn.
913
00:36:36,577 --> 00:36:38,079
Glenn:
He's... he's not kidding?
914
00:36:38,079 --> 00:36:40,081
Steve: Corky,
our entire budget
915
00:36:40,081 --> 00:36:43,084
for the entire year
is $15,000 for everything,
916
00:36:43,084 --> 00:36:45,586
and that includes
swimming.
917
00:36:45,586 --> 00:36:47,588
Well, i don't have any
swimming in my show.
918
00:36:47,588 --> 00:36:49,590
No, no. I mean the pool.
We have to keep up the pool.
919
00:36:50,091 --> 00:36:52,093
That's everything.
The entire year is 15,000.
920
00:36:52,093 --> 00:36:53,594
100,000?!
921
00:36:53,594 --> 00:36:56,597
Look, you're a nice fella
and all, glad you're here,
922
00:36:56,597 --> 00:37:00,601
but if i may be blunt...
what's wrong with you?
923
00:37:00,601 --> 00:37:01,602
[Chuckling]
I mean...
924
00:37:02,103 --> 00:37:03,604
[sighs]
925
00:37:04,105 --> 00:37:05,606
So what i'm
understanding here,
926
00:37:05,606 --> 00:37:07,108
correct me if i'm wrong,
927
00:37:07,608 --> 00:37:10,611
is that you're not
giving me any money.
928
00:37:10,611 --> 00:37:12,613
So now i'm left
basically with nothing.
929
00:37:13,114 --> 00:37:15,616
I'm left with zero,
930
00:37:15,616 --> 00:37:17,618
in which... in which...
what can i do with zero?
931
00:37:17,618 --> 00:37:20,621
You know, what can I...
i can't do anything with it.
932
00:37:20,621 --> 00:37:22,623
This is my life here
we're talking about.
933
00:37:22,623 --> 00:37:24,125
We're not just talking about,
you know, something else.
934
00:37:24,625 --> 00:37:26,127
We're talking about
my life, you know?
935
00:37:26,127 --> 00:37:28,629
And it's forcing me to do
something i don't want to do...
936
00:37:28,629 --> 00:37:30,131
to leave,
937
00:37:30,631 --> 00:37:33,134
to... to go out
and just leave and go home
938
00:37:33,134 --> 00:37:35,636
and say...
make a clean cut here
939
00:37:35,636 --> 00:37:37,638
and say, "no, way, corky.
940
00:37:38,139 --> 00:37:39,640
You're not putting up
with these people."
941
00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:42,143
And i'll tell you why
i can't put up with you people.
942
00:37:42,143 --> 00:37:44,145
Because
you're bastard people.
943
00:37:44,145 --> 00:37:46,647
That's what you are.
You're just bastard people,
944
00:37:46,647 --> 00:37:47,648
and i'm going home,
and i'm gonna...
945
00:37:47,648 --> 00:37:51,652
i'm gonna bite my pillow
is what i'm gonna do!
946
00:37:56,657 --> 00:37:58,159
[Door slams]
947
00:37:58,192 --> 00:37:59,193
Sheila: What do you
use on your skin?
948
00:37:59,694 --> 00:38:00,194
Libby: Vaseline.
949
00:38:00,695 --> 00:38:02,697
Petroleum jelly
on your skin? Yeah.
950
00:38:02,697 --> 00:38:04,198
You are getting away
with murder, libby.
951
00:38:04,699 --> 00:38:06,701
You're young and it's ok,
but have i told you...
952
00:38:06,701 --> 00:38:08,202
libby, i have
an announcement.
953
00:38:08,202 --> 00:38:10,204
I have to talk to you.
954
00:38:10,204 --> 00:38:12,206
Excuse me, libby.
I have to talk to you.
955
00:38:12,707 --> 00:38:13,708
I'm gonna round us up.
956
00:38:13,708 --> 00:38:15,209
Hold on. Gee.
957
00:38:15,209 --> 00:38:16,210
Dr. Pearl.
958
00:38:16,210 --> 00:38:17,211
Morning.
959
00:38:17,211 --> 00:38:19,213
Good morning.
We have an announcement.
960
00:38:19,213 --> 00:38:21,716
We have to talk. Ok?
961
00:38:21,716 --> 00:38:24,719
Gather around, please.
Gather around.
962
00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:26,220
Libby! Sheila.
963
00:38:26,721 --> 00:38:27,722
Excuse me, ron.
964
00:38:27,722 --> 00:38:29,724
Thank you. Dr. Pearl.
965
00:38:29,724 --> 00:38:31,726
Please be quiet.
I have an announcement.
966
00:38:31,726 --> 00:38:32,727
We've got to listen up here.
967
00:38:32,727 --> 00:38:34,228
Excuse me, are we
gonna be vocalizing?
968
00:38:34,729 --> 00:38:35,730
We will be vocalizing.
969
00:38:35,730 --> 00:38:37,231
Before we start, i'd
like to clear my throat.
970
00:38:37,231 --> 00:38:39,233
[Pfft]
971
00:38:39,233 --> 00:38:42,236
Yes, we'll be doing...
we'll be vocalizing.
972
00:38:42,236 --> 00:38:44,238
We'll be doing a lot of...
excuse me, please!
973
00:38:44,238 --> 00:38:47,742
Everybody, let's be serious now
just for a moment,
974
00:38:47,742 --> 00:38:49,744
and let's all listen up, ok?
975
00:38:49,744 --> 00:38:53,247
Corky has left the show,
and i am taking over.
976
00:38:53,247 --> 00:38:56,751
And what i want to do today
is start with some music,
977
00:38:56,751 --> 00:38:59,253
do dancing,
and work on our lines.
978
00:38:59,754 --> 00:39:01,255
And my hope is
at the end of 5 days,
979
00:39:01,255 --> 00:39:02,757
we will know
what we're doing...
980
00:39:02,757 --> 00:39:03,758
what do you mean?
981
00:39:03,758 --> 00:39:04,759
And we will have a show.
982
00:39:04,759 --> 00:39:05,760
Corky's left?
983
00:39:06,260 --> 00:39:07,762
Ron: You mean he's left
for today or permanently?
984
00:39:07,762 --> 00:39:11,265
Corky has quit the show,
and it's my show.
985
00:39:11,265 --> 00:39:12,767
Corky!
986
00:39:12,767 --> 00:39:14,268
Ron:
Cork!
987
00:39:15,269 --> 00:39:16,270
Corky!
988
00:39:19,774 --> 00:39:20,775
Here, you go up.
989
00:39:20,775 --> 00:39:22,276
Boy, i only
do that twice a day,
990
00:39:22,777 --> 00:39:23,778
that's good exercise.
991
00:39:23,778 --> 00:39:25,279
You know,
most athletic injuries...
992
00:39:25,279 --> 00:39:26,280
is he not answering?
993
00:39:26,781 --> 00:39:27,782
Corky,
we love you!
994
00:39:27,782 --> 00:39:28,783
Corky, open up!
995
00:39:28,783 --> 00:39:29,784
Allan: Corky!
996
00:39:30,284 --> 00:39:31,786
Sheila: Corky, we love you!
We want you to live!
997
00:39:32,286 --> 00:39:33,788
There may be
something wrong.
998
00:39:33,788 --> 00:39:34,789
Try the door.
Is the door unlocked?
999
00:39:34,789 --> 00:39:37,291
[Mariachi music
playing]
1000
00:39:46,300 --> 00:39:47,802
He wants to be
alone right now.
1001
00:39:47,802 --> 00:39:49,804
I'd never forgive myself
if something was wrong.
1002
00:39:49,804 --> 00:39:53,307
Just shut up! Just shut up!
Jesus christ!
1003
00:39:53,808 --> 00:39:54,809
Libby: Freaks!
1004
00:39:56,310 --> 00:39:57,812
Freaky people, my god!
1005
00:39:57,812 --> 00:39:59,814
Sheila: I know
how he feels, too!
1006
00:39:59,814 --> 00:40:03,818
Guess i can just go back
to the dairy queen, you know.
1007
00:40:08,322 --> 00:40:10,324
They said
they'd take me back.
1008
00:40:11,325 --> 00:40:13,828
[Train horn
blows in distance]
1009
00:40:13,828 --> 00:40:16,330
I always have a place
at the dairy queen.
1010
00:40:20,835 --> 00:40:22,336
You got to stop crying.
1011
00:40:22,336 --> 00:40:23,838
She hasn't cried
this much
1012
00:40:23,838 --> 00:40:26,841
since the day we got
married. Honestly.
1013
00:40:26,841 --> 00:40:29,343
You know,
this is wonderful.
1014
00:40:29,343 --> 00:40:31,846
Why didn't i react like this
when i was playing football
1015
00:40:31,846 --> 00:40:34,348
for the blaine panthers
and our quarterback
1016
00:40:34,348 --> 00:40:35,850
went down with
a dislocated knee?
1017
00:40:35,850 --> 00:40:37,351
I should have said,
"time-out!"
1018
00:40:37,351 --> 00:40:38,352
'Cause you're strong, ron,
you're strong.
1019
00:40:38,352 --> 00:40:39,854
You're just a big brick!
1020
00:40:39,854 --> 00:40:41,856
Let's delay the game,
and my lip would tremble,
1021
00:40:42,356 --> 00:40:43,858
and i see we have
an injured quarterback.
1022
00:40:43,858 --> 00:40:45,860
Let's give up. No.
You know what we did?
1023
00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:47,862
We brought in the
second-string quarterback.
1024
00:40:47,862 --> 00:40:48,863
When he went down,
1025
00:40:48,863 --> 00:40:50,364
we brought in the
third-string quarterback,
1026
00:40:50,364 --> 00:40:51,866
and we went out,
and we whipped the pants
1027
00:40:51,866 --> 00:40:53,367
off of harry truman
high school,
1028
00:40:53,367 --> 00:40:55,369
and next week, went out
and mopped the floor
1029
00:40:55,369 --> 00:40:57,371
with blessed, uh,
heart of mary.
1030
00:40:57,371 --> 00:41:00,374
And they went on to win
the state championship.
1031
00:41:04,879 --> 00:41:06,380
Allan: To tell you
the truth,
1032
00:41:06,881 --> 00:41:08,883
i haven't even
thought about it.
1033
00:41:08,883 --> 00:41:11,886
Not for a... not for a second
have i even dwelled on the fact
1034
00:41:11,886 --> 00:41:13,387
that the show's over.
1035
00:41:13,387 --> 00:41:16,390
I don't, uh, i don't, uh,
think about it.
1036
00:41:16,390 --> 00:41:17,892
L... i try not
to think about it,
1037
00:41:17,892 --> 00:41:19,894
and therefore,
i, you know, don't,
1038
00:41:19,894 --> 00:41:21,896
because it's
a very healthy way
1039
00:41:22,396 --> 00:41:24,899
to deal with something
that is ultimately
1040
00:41:24,899 --> 00:41:26,400
not that important
in the long run.
1041
00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:29,904
It's not... not, uh,
not important at all,
1042
00:41:29,904 --> 00:41:31,405
you know, for me.
1043
00:41:34,408 --> 00:41:37,912
I'm just so sad for corky,
you know, i mean...
1044
00:41:37,912 --> 00:41:39,914
i think these
creative people,
1045
00:41:39,914 --> 00:41:42,416
they're real emotional,
and, um...
1046
00:41:42,917 --> 00:41:44,919
i think the important thing
about show-biz people
1047
00:41:45,419 --> 00:41:47,421
is that you got to have
a-another life.
1048
00:41:47,421 --> 00:41:50,925
And I... i know, you know, uh,
he's... he's got a wife.
1049
00:41:50,925 --> 00:41:52,426
I guess she's out of town.
1050
00:41:52,426 --> 00:41:55,930
Um... because i haven't
seen her.
1051
00:41:55,930 --> 00:41:57,431
I've never seen her,
1052
00:41:57,431 --> 00:41:59,934
so, you know,
that could be the problem.
1053
00:41:59,934 --> 00:42:02,436
You know, maybe she's
just not supportive.
1054
00:42:02,436 --> 00:42:05,072
Glenn: Corky, without you,
there's no show.
1055
00:42:05,072 --> 00:42:06,574
Without the show,
there's no celebration.
1056
00:42:06,574 --> 00:42:09,577
Without celebration,
there's no blaine.
1057
00:42:09,577 --> 00:42:12,079
So you see how
it's a domino effect.
1058
00:42:12,079 --> 00:42:14,081
You know how dominoes
do that.
1059
00:42:14,582 --> 00:42:16,083
Without blaine,
i got news for you,
1060
00:42:16,083 --> 00:42:17,084
there's no missouri.
1061
00:42:17,084 --> 00:42:18,586
Blaine is the heart
of missouri.
1062
00:42:18,586 --> 00:42:21,589
What happens if missouri
goes down? You tell me.
1063
00:42:22,089 --> 00:42:25,593
Steve: We need the magic back
in the show, is what we need,
1064
00:42:25,593 --> 00:42:28,095
and it ain't gonna
happen with lloyd.
1065
00:42:28,095 --> 00:42:31,599
Lloyd is a music teacher,
and he shops at walmart.
1066
00:42:32,099 --> 00:42:33,100
He doesn't even
support the town.
1067
00:42:33,601 --> 00:42:36,103
The person who needs
you the most...
1068
00:42:36,103 --> 00:42:37,605
is blaine fabin.
1069
00:42:37,605 --> 00:42:39,106
Steve: Hear, hear.
1070
00:42:39,106 --> 00:42:42,109
And i'm not just saying that
because i am a fabin.
1071
00:42:42,109 --> 00:42:43,611
Ok, ok.
1072
00:42:43,611 --> 00:42:45,613
I'm saying that
because i just know
1073
00:42:45,613 --> 00:42:48,616
that nobody
can touch, um...
1074
00:42:49,116 --> 00:42:51,118
that whole...
1075
00:42:51,118 --> 00:42:53,120
thing.
1076
00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:54,622
That whole thing, hmm?
1077
00:42:54,622 --> 00:42:56,624
Steve: You could
take a nickel,
1078
00:42:56,624 --> 00:42:58,626
and you could make it
into a million dollars,
1079
00:42:58,626 --> 00:43:01,128
because this man is a genius,
and we cannot lose that.
1080
00:43:01,128 --> 00:43:03,130
Look what you did withbarefoot
when you came to this town.
1081
00:43:03,130 --> 00:43:04,632
Did you have
any budget then?
1082
00:43:04,632 --> 00:43:06,133
You didn't have
$100,000 then,
1083
00:43:06,133 --> 00:43:07,635
and look what happened
to that show.
1084
00:43:08,135 --> 00:43:09,136
And what aboutbackdraft?
1085
00:43:09,136 --> 00:43:10,638
You took a little bit
of cellophane,
1086
00:43:10,638 --> 00:43:12,139
and you made it
into flames!
1087
00:43:12,640 --> 00:43:14,141
You can still
feel the heat.
1088
00:43:14,141 --> 00:43:15,643
You know what?
You're not wrong.
1089
00:43:15,643 --> 00:43:18,646
Steve: We need you
to take your magic wand...
1090
00:43:18,646 --> 00:43:22,650
and wave it and make
this town special again,
1091
00:43:22,650 --> 00:43:24,151
is what we need.
1092
00:43:25,152 --> 00:43:27,154
Glenn:
Will you do it?
1093
00:43:27,154 --> 00:43:28,656
Come on back, cork.
1094
00:43:28,656 --> 00:43:29,657
Please.
1095
00:43:32,660 --> 00:43:36,664
[Applause]
1096
00:43:36,664 --> 00:43:37,665
Whoo!
Whoo!
1097
00:43:37,665 --> 00:43:38,666
Whoo!
1098
00:43:38,666 --> 00:43:41,168
Whoo!
1099
00:43:41,168 --> 00:43:42,169
Whoo!
1100
00:43:42,670 --> 00:43:43,671
Whoo!
1101
00:43:43,671 --> 00:43:44,672
Yay!
1102
00:43:44,672 --> 00:43:45,673
Thank you.
1103
00:43:45,673 --> 00:43:46,674
Yay!
1104
00:43:46,674 --> 00:43:48,676
Whoo!
Whoo!
1105
00:43:48,676 --> 00:43:50,177
Please! Oh!
1106
00:43:50,678 --> 00:43:51,679
Whoo!
1107
00:43:51,679 --> 00:43:53,681
All right,
thank you, thank you.
1108
00:43:53,681 --> 00:43:56,183
Thank you. Thank you.
1109
00:43:56,684 --> 00:44:00,688
Ok, let's pretend that
it never happened, ok?
1110
00:44:01,188 --> 00:44:03,190
And let's just jump
intocovered wagons.
1111
00:44:03,691 --> 00:44:05,693
All right? Let's start
from the dance part.
1112
00:44:05,693 --> 00:44:06,694
Covered wagons!
1113
00:44:10,698 --> 00:44:12,700
Whoo!
1114
00:44:14,702 --> 00:44:15,703
Waah!
1115
00:44:16,203 --> 00:44:19,206
Corky: In a funny way,
what the city council did
1116
00:44:19,206 --> 00:44:21,208
was really give me
a challenge,
1117
00:44:21,208 --> 00:44:25,212
and it's a challenge
that i am going to accept.
1118
00:44:25,212 --> 00:44:28,215
It's like in the olden days
and the days in france
1119
00:44:28,215 --> 00:44:31,719
when men would slap each other
with their gloves,
1120
00:44:31,719 --> 00:44:32,720
and say, you know,
1121
00:44:33,220 --> 00:44:34,722
"d'artagnan, you know,
1122
00:44:34,722 --> 00:44:37,224
how dare you talk
to me like that, you!"
1123
00:44:37,224 --> 00:44:39,226
And smack 'im.
1124
00:44:39,226 --> 00:44:41,395
Cast:?? Stool boom??
1125
00:44:41,395 --> 00:44:44,398
?? From the parlor
to the pool room??
1126
00:44:44,398 --> 00:44:47,901
?? We're the center
of a stool boom??
1127
00:44:47,901 --> 00:44:51,905
?
?? Everyone knows our name?
1128
00:44:51,905 --> 00:44:53,407
?? Working, making??
1129
00:44:53,907 --> 00:44:55,409
?? Never stopping,
never sleeping??
1130
00:44:55,409 --> 00:44:56,910
?? Working, building??
1131
00:44:56,910 --> 00:44:58,412
?? Some for selling,
some for keeping??
1132
00:44:58,912 --> 00:45:00,414
?? You will drool??
1133
00:45:00,414 --> 00:45:03,417
?? At the splendor
of these magic stools??
1134
00:45:03,417 --> 00:45:04,918
?? It's the rule??
1135
00:45:05,419 --> 00:45:07,421
?? Everyone has a stool??
1136
00:45:07,421 --> 00:45:08,922
?? Just 3 legs??
1137
00:45:08,922 --> 00:45:11,925
?? It's the thing
for which a monarch begs??
1138
00:45:11,925 --> 00:45:13,927
?? Hock your jewels??
1139
00:45:13,927 --> 00:45:15,429
I did want to mention
one thing.
1140
00:45:15,429 --> 00:45:16,930
Mm-hmm?
1141
00:45:18,932 --> 00:45:19,933
Specs?
1142
00:45:19,933 --> 00:45:22,936
1845, you know,
1143
00:45:22,936 --> 00:45:25,939
i think it's
a little problem.
1144
00:45:25,939 --> 00:45:27,441
Oh, oh, oh.
1145
00:45:27,941 --> 00:45:29,943
My glasses.
1146
00:45:29,943 --> 00:45:31,445
You're saying...
1147
00:45:31,445 --> 00:45:32,946
i don't think
you should wear them.
1148
00:45:32,946 --> 00:45:34,448
Don't wear them
in the show?
1149
00:45:34,448 --> 00:45:35,949
It's mostly in
covered wagons,
1150
00:45:35,949 --> 00:45:36,950
because i think
that's the one
1151
00:45:36,950 --> 00:45:40,454
where it's just not
as believable.
1152
00:45:40,454 --> 00:45:43,457
Of course, when you get
further up in time,
1153
00:45:43,957 --> 00:45:45,459
historically, it's...
1154
00:45:45,459 --> 00:45:47,461
i can see
a couple of problems.
1155
00:45:47,461 --> 00:45:49,463
Nothing major. Nothing
that we can't solve.
1156
00:45:49,463 --> 00:45:51,965
One, um...
1157
00:45:51,965 --> 00:45:53,967
contrary
to public opinion,
1158
00:45:54,468 --> 00:45:57,971
i don't see very well
without my glasses,
1159
00:45:57,971 --> 00:46:00,974
so i'm thinking is that
going to be a problem
1160
00:46:00,974 --> 00:46:03,477
for me... just look out.
1161
00:46:03,477 --> 00:46:08,482
And the other thing
which is also a problem
1162
00:46:08,482 --> 00:46:11,985
is i have a very lazy eye
1163
00:46:12,486 --> 00:46:17,991
which these prescription
glasses help correct.
1164
00:46:17,991 --> 00:46:21,361
Woman:
?? 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and...??
1165
00:46:21,361 --> 00:46:25,866
Chorus:
?? Blue sky, blue sea??
1166
00:46:25,866 --> 00:46:29,870
?? Blue grass, blue tree??
1167
00:46:29,870 --> 00:46:31,872
?? Red as the fire
in our hearts??
1168
00:46:31,872 --> 00:46:34,374
?? That makes
this country strong??
1169
00:46:34,374 --> 00:46:36,376
?? Red as the fire
in our hearts??
1170
00:46:36,376 --> 00:46:38,378
?? That helps us
sing this song??
1171
00:46:38,378 --> 00:46:40,380
Allan: Getting off the horse
is not a problem.
1172
00:46:40,380 --> 00:46:42,382
I can get off
the horse like that,
1173
00:46:42,382 --> 00:46:43,383
but where
i'm having a problem
1174
00:46:43,383 --> 00:46:44,885
is that sometimes
the horse comes out
1175
00:46:45,385 --> 00:46:47,387
and i can't
get past the cow.
1176
00:46:47,387 --> 00:46:49,389
So i have to kind of
do this when i come out.
1177
00:46:49,389 --> 00:46:51,892
"Gather round,
for i have news."
1178
00:46:51,892 --> 00:46:53,894
I don't know which
is more lifelike,
1179
00:46:53,894 --> 00:46:55,896
the horse
or dr. Pearl.
1180
00:46:55,896 --> 00:46:58,398
Oh! Ha ha ha!
You.
1181
00:46:58,899 --> 00:47:01,401
Corky?
Here's the phone.
1182
00:47:01,401 --> 00:47:02,402
It's johnny.
1183
00:47:02,402 --> 00:47:03,904
Allan: I feel
like a hero...
1184
00:47:04,404 --> 00:47:06,406
hello?
1185
00:47:06,907 --> 00:47:08,408
Yeah?
1186
00:47:09,910 --> 00:47:11,411
What do you mean?
1187
00:47:11,411 --> 00:47:13,413
Ron: Then we back up.
1188
00:47:13,914 --> 00:47:15,415
But i've been waiting
for you to turn around...
1189
00:47:15,916 --> 00:47:16,917
corky:
What are you saying?
1190
00:47:17,417 --> 00:47:18,418
Libby: Shh!
1191
00:47:18,418 --> 00:47:20,921
I understand that.
No, i understand.
1192
00:47:21,421 --> 00:47:22,422
Believe me,
i do understand.
1193
00:47:22,422 --> 00:47:27,427
What can you do is
just say absolutely not!
1194
00:47:27,427 --> 00:47:29,429
Do you understand that?
1195
00:47:29,429 --> 00:47:30,931
I don't believe that.
1196
00:47:30,931 --> 00:47:33,433
No, i'm sorry.
I do not accept that.
1197
00:47:33,433 --> 00:47:34,935
That is not an answer, no.
1198
00:47:34,935 --> 00:47:37,938
It's absolutely unacceptable
that you would say this now.
1199
00:47:38,438 --> 00:47:40,941
Not today! No!
1200
00:47:42,943 --> 00:47:44,945
And that's the way it is?
1201
00:47:44,945 --> 00:47:46,947
Then i just hate you!
1202
00:47:46,947 --> 00:47:49,950
And i hate your ass face!
1203
00:47:50,450 --> 00:47:52,953
What's up?
Oh, corky.
1204
00:47:52,953 --> 00:47:54,454
Johnny's not in the show.
1205
00:47:54,454 --> 00:47:57,457
His dad said he has
to go back to work.
1206
00:47:57,457 --> 00:47:59,459
What does he think
this is, school,
1207
00:47:59,960 --> 00:48:01,461
that he can be marked
absent one day?
1208
00:48:01,962 --> 00:48:03,964
This is the day
of the show, y'all.
1209
00:48:03,964 --> 00:48:04,965
Oh, my god.
1210
00:48:04,965 --> 00:48:06,967
Just... just...
1211
00:48:06,967 --> 00:48:08,468
ron: This is
very strange.
1212
00:48:08,468 --> 00:48:10,470
Ron, just... just let me think
for a second, all right?
1213
00:48:10,971 --> 00:48:12,973
I've just got
to take a breath here
1214
00:48:12,973 --> 00:48:15,976
and... and try to figure
this out, all right?
1215
00:48:21,481 --> 00:48:23,984
Corky: It's tight.
That hurts.
1216
00:48:23,984 --> 00:48:25,485
If you could hike
it up a little bit
1217
00:48:25,485 --> 00:48:26,987
you'd get more room.
1218
00:48:26,987 --> 00:48:28,488
I am pulling them up.
1219
00:48:28,488 --> 00:48:30,490
Sort of trying to commit
to one side here, dear.
1220
00:48:30,490 --> 00:48:33,994
This is johnny's costume,
and johnny is a lot...
1221
00:48:33,994 --> 00:48:36,496
he's a different
body type than you are.
1222
00:48:36,496 --> 00:48:38,999
This is... i don't...
i'm worried...
1223
00:48:38,999 --> 00:48:40,500
i'm about
5 inches away...
1224
00:48:40,500 --> 00:48:41,501
i understand.
1225
00:48:41,501 --> 00:48:43,503
Woman: Actors,
we're at 15 minutes.
1226
00:48:43,503 --> 00:48:44,504
Oh, my god!
Aah!
1227
00:48:45,005 --> 00:48:46,006
We're at 15.
1228
00:48:46,006 --> 00:48:48,508
No, we gotta move now.
Come on.
1229
00:48:48,508 --> 00:48:50,510
You're gonna have
to help me here.
1230
00:48:50,510 --> 00:48:52,512
Ok, ok.
Help me here!
1231
00:49:02,522 --> 00:49:03,523
I'm so nervous.
1232
00:49:04,024 --> 00:49:05,025
You're gonna be great.
1233
00:49:05,525 --> 00:49:06,526
If there's an empty space,
just say a line.
1234
00:49:07,027 --> 00:49:08,028
That's what i like to do.
1235
00:49:08,028 --> 00:49:09,529
Even if it's
from another show.
1236
00:49:09,529 --> 00:49:12,032
[Tuning instruments]
1237
00:49:16,536 --> 00:49:18,038
Agnes, where's
the lilac dress?
1238
00:49:18,038 --> 00:49:19,039
You mean
the purple one?
1239
00:49:19,539 --> 00:49:20,540
Yes. Where is it?
1240
00:49:20,540 --> 00:49:22,042
Honey, i told you to lay off
the hot fudge sundaes.
1241
00:49:22,042 --> 00:49:23,543
I couldn't let
the seams out.
1242
00:49:23,543 --> 00:49:25,045
It's not here?
1243
00:49:25,045 --> 00:49:27,047
Not it is not.
Hello, sweetheart.
1244
00:49:29,850 --> 00:49:32,352
[Music starts]
1245
00:49:40,861 --> 00:49:42,863
Oh, i destroyed
my makeup!
1246
00:49:42,863 --> 00:49:45,365
Ron: Mmm. Hark!
A rider approaches!
1247
00:49:45,365 --> 00:49:46,366
Sheila: Oh, god!
1248
00:49:46,366 --> 00:49:48,368
Cooley: It's all right.
Just... careful.
1249
00:49:48,368 --> 00:49:50,370
I hope that
isn't too hot.
1250
00:49:50,370 --> 00:49:52,372
No, no, it's just fine.
1251
00:50:08,388 --> 00:50:10,390
[Western music begins]
1252
00:50:33,413 --> 00:50:35,415
May i remind you, please?
1253
00:50:35,415 --> 00:50:36,416
No glasses for
the first number.
1254
00:50:36,416 --> 00:50:37,918
Oh, no, no, no, I...
1255
00:50:37,918 --> 00:50:40,420
actors?
We're at places.
1256
00:50:40,420 --> 00:50:42,923
Have a good show everybody!
Break a leg!
1257
00:51:17,457 --> 00:51:19,960
Don't worry about anything
'cause it's gonna all roll...
1258
00:51:19,960 --> 00:51:21,962
he's not here.
1259
00:51:21,962 --> 00:51:23,463
He's not here.
What?
1260
00:51:23,463 --> 00:51:25,465
Sheila: Ron:
Not here? Guffman?
1261
00:51:25,465 --> 00:51:26,466
Should we lower
the curtain?
1262
00:51:26,967 --> 00:51:27,467
Corky!
1263
00:51:27,968 --> 00:51:29,970
Everybody, look, look,
1264
00:51:29,970 --> 00:51:31,972
i've been through this
a million times.
1265
00:51:31,972 --> 00:51:33,974
These new york types
like to come late.
1266
00:51:33,974 --> 00:51:36,476
Believe me. I've never seen
one of them come on time
1267
00:51:36,977 --> 00:51:38,478
in all my years
in the theater.
1268
00:51:38,979 --> 00:51:40,981
Take a deep breath...
1269
00:51:40,981 --> 00:51:42,482
blow it out.
1270
00:51:42,482 --> 00:51:44,985
He's gonna be here.
Let's just do a good show, ok?
1271
00:51:44,985 --> 00:51:47,487
Everybody do a good show.
Hands in the middle.
1272
00:51:47,487 --> 00:51:50,991
All: Wwwwwhoa!
1273
00:52:15,515 --> 00:52:17,517
[Applause]
1274
00:52:22,856 --> 00:52:25,358
Oh, howdy.
1275
00:52:25,358 --> 00:52:29,863
Eh, didn't see you
sneak up on me there.
1276
00:52:29,863 --> 00:52:31,364
But if you like,
1277
00:52:31,364 --> 00:52:33,867
you're welcome to share
my campfire with me.
1278
00:52:34,367 --> 00:52:37,370
I was just fixing
to get me some grub.
1279
00:52:37,370 --> 00:52:39,873
Beans.
[Chuckles] mmm.
1280
00:52:40,373 --> 00:52:44,878
I love beans.
Big, fat, hot juicy beans.
1281
00:52:44,878 --> 00:52:47,881
Now, don't get me
going on beans
1282
00:52:47,881 --> 00:52:51,384
or i'll be jabberir away
till the sun comes up.
1283
00:52:51,384 --> 00:52:52,385
[Laughter]
1284
00:52:52,385 --> 00:52:54,888
But, you know,
now that i've got your ear,
1285
00:52:55,388 --> 00:52:58,391
there is a story i wouldn't
mind sharing with you.
1286
00:52:58,391 --> 00:53:00,894
It's a tall tale
that grows taller
1287
00:53:00,894 --> 00:53:02,896
with each passing year.
1288
00:53:02,896 --> 00:53:06,399
It's the story of blaine.
1289
00:53:06,399 --> 00:53:09,402
[Western music starts]
1290
00:53:09,903 --> 00:53:10,904
[Applause]
1291
00:53:10,904 --> 00:53:12,405
[Whip cracks]
1292
00:53:21,414 --> 00:53:23,416
Well, we've traveled
long and far today.
1293
00:53:23,416 --> 00:53:24,918
We must let the women
and children rest.
1294
00:53:24,918 --> 00:53:27,921
Don't you rest on our account,
daniel potter.
1295
00:53:27,921 --> 00:53:31,424
We women are just as strong
and resilient as you men.
1296
00:53:31,424 --> 00:53:32,926
Ha ha ha!
1297
00:53:32,926 --> 00:53:34,928
I do believe you are,
rebecca.
1298
00:53:34,928 --> 00:53:35,929
I do believe you are.
1299
00:53:36,429 --> 00:53:39,432
California will be a sight
for these weary eyes.
1300
00:53:39,933 --> 00:53:42,435
Mine as well,
rebecca, mine as well.
1301
00:53:42,435 --> 00:53:44,938
But right now we need
a campfire to warm our souls
1302
00:53:44,938 --> 00:53:46,439
and to cook our food.
1303
00:53:46,439 --> 00:53:47,941
Done.
1304
00:53:50,443 --> 00:53:51,444
Oh.
1305
00:53:51,444 --> 00:53:52,946
Oh.
1306
00:53:52,946 --> 00:53:56,449
That will be quite enough
of that, billy whittaker.
1307
00:53:56,449 --> 00:53:57,951
Just one kiss?
1308
00:53:57,951 --> 00:53:59,953
There'll be plenty
of time for kissing
1309
00:53:59,953 --> 00:54:01,955
when we get
to california.
1310
00:54:01,955 --> 00:54:03,957
lfwe get to california.
1311
00:54:03,957 --> 00:54:05,959
Oh, we'll get there.
1312
00:54:05,959 --> 00:54:08,962
Blaine fabin will
lead us there.
1313
00:54:08,962 --> 00:54:10,964
Hark! A rider approaches.
1314
00:54:10,964 --> 00:54:13,466
Blaine fabin
returns!
1315
00:54:13,466 --> 00:54:16,970
Allan: Whoa!
1316
00:54:16,970 --> 00:54:18,471
Ho there!
1317
00:54:18,471 --> 00:54:22,475
Whoa, steady.
1318
00:54:22,475 --> 00:54:25,478
Gather round
for i have news.
1319
00:54:25,979 --> 00:54:26,980
Ron: What news?
1320
00:54:27,480 --> 00:54:30,984
What did your keen and
perceptive eyes behold?
1321
00:54:31,484 --> 00:54:33,987
Just up yonder,
there is a ridge.
1322
00:54:33,987 --> 00:54:36,489
How high a ridge,
i could not tell,
1323
00:54:36,489 --> 00:54:39,492
for the sun had set
and darkness fell
1324
00:54:39,492 --> 00:54:41,494
before i reached
its pinnacle.
1325
00:54:41,494 --> 00:54:45,498
Then... a strange thing
happened.
1326
00:54:45,498 --> 00:54:48,501
My nose started twitchir.
1327
00:54:48,501 --> 00:54:52,005
There was a mysterious
scent in the night air.
1328
00:54:52,005 --> 00:54:53,506
What? What kind
of scent?
1329
00:54:53,506 --> 00:54:55,508
What was this
mysterious scent?
1330
00:54:56,009 --> 00:54:59,012
It was the scent
of salt water!
1331
00:54:59,012 --> 00:55:00,013
Oh!
Salt water!
1332
00:55:00,013 --> 00:55:01,514
Salt water?
1333
00:55:01,514 --> 00:55:03,016
[Mumbling]
1334
00:55:03,016 --> 00:55:04,684
Ladies and gentlemen,
1335
00:55:04,684 --> 00:55:06,686
we have reached
our destination!
1336
00:55:06,686 --> 00:55:09,189
We have
reached the pacific!
1337
00:55:09,189 --> 00:55:12,192
Welcome to california!
1338
00:55:12,192 --> 00:55:13,693
Yay!
Yay!
1339
00:55:13,693 --> 00:55:15,695
[Playing square dance music]
1340
00:55:18,698 --> 00:55:21,201
?? Grab your feller
by the hand??
1341
00:55:21,201 --> 00:55:23,703
?? Welcome him
to the promised land??
1342
00:55:23,703 --> 00:55:26,206
?? Grab your lady
by the arm??
1343
00:55:26,206 --> 00:55:28,708
?? Take her out
behind the barn??
1344
00:55:29,209 --> 00:55:31,211
[Fiddling]
1345
00:55:32,712 --> 00:55:34,714
Everybody dance!
1346
00:55:43,723 --> 00:55:46,226
Whoo!
1347
00:55:58,738 --> 00:56:00,740
[Clapping]
1348
00:56:14,754 --> 00:56:16,756
[Cheering]
1349
00:56:25,265 --> 00:56:27,267
That was great!
1350
00:56:27,267 --> 00:56:28,268
Shut up.
I can't believe...
1351
00:56:28,268 --> 00:56:29,269
oh, my!
1352
00:56:29,269 --> 00:56:31,771
60 years went by,
1353
00:56:32,272 --> 00:56:35,275
and the town of blaine kept
a-growir and a-changir.
1354
00:56:35,275 --> 00:56:37,777
Every time you looked around,
a new house was going up,
1355
00:56:37,777 --> 00:56:39,779
a new family was moving in.
1356
00:56:39,779 --> 00:56:41,281
Hurry, agnes.
1357
00:56:41,281 --> 00:56:43,283
I am trying to hurry.
There we go.
1358
00:56:43,783 --> 00:56:45,285
Libby: You got my hat?
Where's my hat?
1359
00:56:45,785 --> 00:56:47,787
Agnes: Your hat? Right here
is your hat, darling.
1360
00:56:47,787 --> 00:56:52,292
Mcgillicuddy's orchard became
the blaine elementary school.
1361
00:56:52,292 --> 00:56:55,295
They even laid track for
that newfangled invention,
1362
00:56:55,295 --> 00:56:56,796
the iron horse,
1363
00:56:57,297 --> 00:57:00,300
which brought a pretty
important visitor to blaine.
1364
00:57:00,800 --> 00:57:01,801
[Train whistle blows]
1365
00:57:01,801 --> 00:57:04,804
Corky: Yay!
It's president mckinley!
1366
00:57:04,804 --> 00:57:07,307
Hurrah! Hurrah!
1367
00:57:07,307 --> 00:57:09,309
Good people of blaine,
1368
00:57:09,309 --> 00:57:11,811
they told me
my next stop was wichita,
1369
00:57:12,312 --> 00:57:14,814
but i said,
"what about blaine?"
1370
00:57:14,814 --> 00:57:17,317
Yay!
Hurrah!
1371
00:57:17,317 --> 00:57:19,819
I guess i need
a new travel agent.
1372
00:57:19,819 --> 00:57:21,821
[Laughter]
1373
00:57:21,821 --> 00:57:25,825
Mr. President,
in honor of our visit...
1374
00:57:26,326 --> 00:57:29,329
yourvisit toourtown,
1375
00:57:29,329 --> 00:57:31,331
i present you humbly
1376
00:57:31,831 --> 00:57:34,834
with this fair key
to our city.
1377
00:57:34,834 --> 00:57:36,836
Well, i do declare,
i believe the key to this city
1378
00:57:36,836 --> 00:57:39,339
is larger than
the city itself.
1379
00:57:39,839 --> 00:57:41,341
[Laughter]
1380
00:57:41,341 --> 00:57:42,842
Corky:
Wait, mr. President!
1381
00:57:42,842 --> 00:57:44,344
What have we here?
1382
00:57:44,344 --> 00:57:47,347
It's a footstool.
I make them.
1383
00:57:47,347 --> 00:57:49,349
Well, isn't
that interesting?
1384
00:57:49,349 --> 00:57:51,351
I'll take this back
to washington with me,
1385
00:57:51,351 --> 00:57:53,353
and every time
i rest my feet
1386
00:57:53,353 --> 00:57:56,356
i'll think of blaine.
1387
00:57:56,356 --> 00:57:58,858
Yay!
Hurrah!
1388
00:57:58,858 --> 00:58:01,361
Hurrah!
1389
00:58:01,361 --> 00:58:03,863
Now, we all know
that politicians
1390
00:58:03,863 --> 00:58:05,865
aren't used to keeping
their word...
1391
00:58:05,865 --> 00:58:07,867
he's here.
He's here.
1392
00:58:07,867 --> 00:58:09,869
I told you
he was gonna come.
1393
00:58:10,370 --> 00:58:11,371
Should we start
over again?
1394
00:58:11,371 --> 00:58:13,873
Sheila: He didn't see
covered wagons!
1395
00:58:13,873 --> 00:58:15,575
Well, before you know it,
1396
00:58:15,575 --> 00:58:17,577
everyone rich and poor alike
1397
00:58:17,577 --> 00:58:20,580
had to have a blaine stool
in their home.
1398
00:58:21,080 --> 00:58:23,082
The little town never
knew what hit it.
1399
00:58:23,082 --> 00:58:28,087
Footstool factories
sprouted up like toadstools.
1400
00:58:28,087 --> 00:58:30,089
Everyone had a good job,
1401
00:58:30,089 --> 00:58:32,592
everyone was making
a good wage.
1402
00:58:33,092 --> 00:58:36,095
Blaine was on the map.
1403
00:58:48,107 --> 00:58:50,109
?? By the pool??
1404
00:58:50,109 --> 00:58:52,612
?? In the school,
by the fires of yule??
1405
00:58:52,612 --> 00:58:55,114
?? It's the rule??
1406
00:58:55,114 --> 00:58:56,616
?? There's a stool,
there's a stool??
1407
00:58:56,616 --> 00:58:59,118
?? Stools are where??
1408
00:58:59,118 --> 00:59:01,621
?? Once upon a time
you'd find a chair??
1409
00:59:01,621 --> 00:59:03,623
?? A chair's for fools
1410
00:59:03,623 --> 00:59:06,626
?? Everybody wants stools??
1411
00:59:06,626 --> 00:59:08,628
?? Stool boom??
1412
00:59:08,628 --> 00:59:11,631
?? From the parlor
to the pool room??
1413
00:59:12,131 --> 00:59:15,134
?? We're the center
of a stool boom??
1414
00:59:15,134 --> 00:59:19,138
?
?? Everyone knows our name?
1415
00:59:19,138 --> 00:59:21,140
?? Working, building??
1416
00:59:21,140 --> 00:59:22,642
?? Never stopping,
never sleeping??
1417
00:59:22,642 --> 00:59:24,143
?? Working, making??
1418
00:59:24,143 --> 00:59:25,645
?? Some for selling,
some for keeping??
1419
00:59:25,645 --> 00:59:27,647
?? You will drool??
1420
00:59:28,147 --> 00:59:30,149
?? At the splendor of
these magic stools??
1421
00:59:30,149 --> 00:59:32,652
?? It's the rule??
1422
00:59:32,652 --> 00:59:34,654
?? Everyone has a stool??
1423
00:59:34,654 --> 00:59:36,656
?? Just 3 legs??
1424
00:59:36,656 --> 00:59:39,158
?? It's a thing
for which a monarch begs??
1425
00:59:39,659 --> 00:59:41,160
?? Hock your jewels??
1426
00:59:41,661 --> 00:59:43,663
??
?? Use the money for stools
1427
00:59:44,163 --> 00:59:45,665
?? Stool boom??
1428
00:59:46,165 --> 00:59:49,168
?? Just 3 legs
and watch the sales zoom??
1429
00:59:49,168 --> 00:59:52,672
?? Like a fever,
it's a stool boom??
1430
00:59:52,672 --> 00:59:57,176
?? And it's spreading out
from blaine??
1431
00:59:57,176 --> 00:59:58,678
?? Working, building??
1432
00:59:58,678 --> 01:00:00,179
?? Never stopping,
never sleeping??
1433
01:00:00,179 --> 01:00:01,681
?? Working, making??
1434
01:00:01,681 --> 01:00:03,182
?? Some for selling,
some for keeping??
1435
01:00:03,182 --> 01:00:05,184
?? Working, building??
1436
01:00:05,184 --> 01:00:07,186
?? Never stopping,
never sleeping??
1437
01:00:07,186 --> 01:00:09,689
?? Working, making??
1438
01:00:09,689 --> 01:00:11,691
?? Some for selling??
1439
01:00:11,691 --> 01:00:15,695
?? Some for keeping??
1440
01:00:15,695 --> 01:00:18,197
All: Whew.
1441
01:00:18,197 --> 01:00:19,699
[Applause]
1442
01:00:19,699 --> 01:00:22,201
[Cheering]
1443
01:00:40,353 --> 01:00:42,355
[Crowd chattering]
1444
01:00:42,355 --> 01:00:44,857
Mrs. Pearl: I can't wait
to see the second half.
1445
01:00:44,857 --> 01:00:47,360
Allan, his dramatic work...
1446
01:00:47,360 --> 01:00:48,861
i mean,
i knew he was funny,
1447
01:00:48,861 --> 01:00:52,865
and i knew he could move, dance,
'cause he's that way,
1448
01:00:52,865 --> 01:00:57,870
but i think his dramatical work
is so moving that, um...
1449
01:00:57,870 --> 01:01:00,373
well, i mean,
i called joyce and i said,
1450
01:01:00,373 --> 01:01:03,376
"joyce, bring joshie 'cause
i gotta feed him halftime
1451
01:01:03,376 --> 01:01:04,877
'cause i'm just busting."
1452
01:01:04,877 --> 01:01:06,879
This is good.
Boy, they're moving.
1453
01:01:06,879 --> 01:01:07,880
They're dancing
all over the place
1454
01:01:07,880 --> 01:01:09,882
and the songs
are very catchy.
1455
01:01:09,882 --> 01:01:11,384
Uh, very catchy.
1456
01:01:11,384 --> 01:01:13,386
Can't get a few of them
out of my head.
1457
01:01:13,386 --> 01:01:14,887
Almost to
an annoying point,
1458
01:01:14,887 --> 01:01:17,890
but i think it's good
when a song is catchy.
1459
01:01:18,391 --> 01:01:21,894
From the little experience
i have in show business.
1460
01:01:21,894 --> 01:01:25,898
I knew corky that could act
and direct and produce,
1461
01:01:25,898 --> 01:01:27,900
but who knew he was going
to act and sing and dance?
1462
01:01:28,401 --> 01:01:30,903
You know, he can just do
everything there is to do,
1463
01:01:31,404 --> 01:01:32,905
and there's only one
other person in the world
1464
01:01:33,406 --> 01:01:35,408
that can do that and
that's barbra streisand.
1465
01:01:35,408 --> 01:01:38,411
He is... [sighs]
1466
01:01:38,411 --> 01:01:40,913
I don't know.
An inspiration to this town.
1467
01:01:40,913 --> 01:01:42,915
That's... that's what he is.
1468
01:01:43,416 --> 01:01:45,918
And i, for one, am very glad
1469
01:01:46,419 --> 01:01:47,920
to see that johnny savage
dropped out of the show,
1470
01:01:47,920 --> 01:01:50,423
because a couple years ago,
he came into the drugstore
1471
01:01:50,423 --> 01:01:52,925
and he tried to steal
my stamp machine,
1472
01:01:52,925 --> 01:01:54,927
and that kid is no good.
1473
01:01:54,927 --> 01:01:56,929
You could tell just by
his parents he's no good,
1474
01:01:56,929 --> 01:01:59,432
and he would not have added
anything to this show.
1475
01:01:59,432 --> 01:02:00,433
Where corky
on the other hand...
1476
01:02:00,433 --> 01:02:01,934
Iook at him! Did you see...
1477
01:02:02,435 --> 01:02:05,388
god, i wish
i was in the show!
1478
01:02:14,947 --> 01:02:16,949
[Music playing]
1479
01:02:25,458 --> 01:02:27,460
I hear that
french girls...
1480
01:02:27,960 --> 01:02:29,962
are very pretty.
1481
01:02:29,962 --> 01:02:32,465
That they wear
the finest of clothes.
1482
01:02:32,465 --> 01:02:34,967
I also hear
that they are experts
1483
01:02:34,967 --> 01:02:36,969
in the ways of love.
1484
01:02:36,969 --> 01:02:40,473
Ima, i'm going to fight
for my country.
1485
01:02:40,473 --> 01:02:43,476
To fight, and yes,
perhaps die
1486
01:02:43,476 --> 01:02:46,979
so that young men
from here to timbuktu
1487
01:02:46,979 --> 01:02:50,983
can feel the wind of freedom
blowing through their hair.
1488
01:02:50,983 --> 01:02:54,987
Oh, monty, i didn't
mean to doubt you.
1489
01:02:54,987 --> 01:02:59,992
It's just sometimes i feel
as if i don't really know you.
1490
01:03:01,994 --> 01:03:04,497
I would still pay.
1491
01:03:06,999 --> 01:03:10,503
?? A penny for
your thoughts??
1492
01:03:10,503 --> 01:03:13,506
?? A dime
for your dreams??
1493
01:03:13,506 --> 01:03:16,509
?? Would a shiny
new quarter??
1494
01:03:16,509 --> 01:03:20,012
?? Buy a peek
at your schemes???
1495
01:03:20,513 --> 01:03:23,516
?? And when you are away??
1496
01:03:23,516 --> 01:03:26,519
?? So far from my side??
1497
01:03:26,519 --> 01:03:30,022
?? I will cherish
my penny's won'th??
1498
01:03:30,022 --> 01:03:34,026
?? Till at last
i'm your bride??
1499
01:03:38,531 --> 01:03:41,534
?? A penny for
your thoughts??
1500
01:03:41,534 --> 01:03:44,036
?? Let's call it
a deal??
1501
01:03:44,537 --> 01:03:47,540
?? I don't have
any secrets??
1502
01:03:47,540 --> 01:03:51,043
?? You know
how i feel??
1503
01:03:51,043 --> 01:03:53,045
That's it. No, no.
Hey, here.
1504
01:03:53,045 --> 01:03:54,046
Where?
1505
01:03:54,046 --> 01:03:55,047
You know where
i like the curl.
1506
01:03:55,047 --> 01:03:56,549
Ron, i have to get
myself ready.
1507
01:03:56,549 --> 01:03:58,551
There it is. Nice.
1508
01:03:58,551 --> 01:04:01,554
Now, a little fluff here
and you can work on yourself.
1509
01:04:01,554 --> 01:04:04,557
?? A penny for
your thoughts??
1510
01:04:04,557 --> 01:04:07,059
?? It's settled
and done??
1511
01:04:07,560 --> 01:04:10,563
?? I'd have offered
a million??
1512
01:04:10,563 --> 01:04:14,567
?? I'd have done it
for none??
1513
01:04:14,567 --> 01:04:18,070
?? I reckon
we're in love??
1514
01:04:18,070 --> 01:04:20,573
?? And married
we'll be??
1515
01:04:21,073 --> 01:04:24,076
?? And all
for a penny??
1516
01:04:24,076 --> 01:04:27,079
?? A bright
copper penny??
1517
01:04:27,580 --> 01:04:31,083
?? The penny
that brought you??
1518
01:04:31,584 --> 01:04:35,588
?? To me??
1519
01:04:56,108 --> 01:04:58,110
[Applause]
1520
01:05:04,617 --> 01:05:06,118
It was so good.
1521
01:05:06,118 --> 01:05:08,120
I told you you'd be able
to lift me like that.
1522
01:05:08,621 --> 01:05:09,622
Ha ha! You were right!
1523
01:05:09,622 --> 01:05:11,123
You lifted me up!
1524
01:05:11,123 --> 01:05:15,494
Yes, after our brave fighting
boys returned from the war,
1525
01:05:15,494 --> 01:05:17,496
things got
back to normal in blaine.
1526
01:05:17,496 --> 01:05:21,000
Until one summer night
in 1946,
1527
01:05:21,500 --> 01:05:26,505
when unexpected visitors
put us back on the map.
1528
01:05:31,010 --> 01:05:31,510
Ron:
Where are we?
1529
01:05:32,011 --> 01:05:32,511
Libby:
How did we get here?
1530
01:05:33,012 --> 01:05:35,014
Is this a dream?
1531
01:05:37,516 --> 01:05:38,517
[All gasp]
1532
01:05:38,517 --> 01:05:40,519
Look,
what is it?
1533
01:05:40,519 --> 01:05:42,021
I don't know.
1534
01:05:42,021 --> 01:05:44,023
It looks like one of them
new feed storage bins.
1535
01:05:44,023 --> 01:05:46,025
That ain't no
feed storage bin!
1536
01:05:46,025 --> 01:05:47,526
How did it
get here?
1537
01:05:47,526 --> 01:05:49,028
It must've flew!
1538
01:05:49,028 --> 01:05:51,030
But it don't
have any wings.
1539
01:05:51,030 --> 01:05:53,032
Then i guess
it just dropped...
1540
01:05:53,032 --> 01:05:55,034
from somewhere
up there.
1541
01:05:55,034 --> 01:05:57,536
Alien:
Citizens of blaine,
1542
01:05:57,536 --> 01:05:59,038
do not be alarmed.
1543
01:05:59,038 --> 01:06:01,040
We will not harm you.
1544
01:06:01,040 --> 01:06:05,544
We come in peace from
a planet far, far away.
1545
01:06:05,544 --> 01:06:08,047
A place we call mars.
1546
01:06:08,047 --> 01:06:09,548
I've heard
of mars.
1547
01:06:09,548 --> 01:06:10,549
Where's that?
1548
01:06:10,549 --> 01:06:14,553
Alien: Stand back and
your queries will be answered.
1549
01:06:14,553 --> 01:06:16,555
[All gasping]
1550
01:06:16,555 --> 01:06:19,058
Libby: Look out!
1551
01:06:21,060 --> 01:06:22,561
[Thunk]
1552
01:06:22,561 --> 01:06:26,565
[Audience laughing]
1553
01:06:26,565 --> 01:06:28,067
What do you want
from us?
1554
01:06:28,567 --> 01:06:31,070
A good question, earthling.
1555
01:06:31,070 --> 01:06:33,572
It seemed like
it was time for a change.
1556
01:06:33,572 --> 01:06:35,074
Time to take a trip
1557
01:06:35,574 --> 01:06:38,577
to see the exciting places
in the galaxy.
1558
01:06:39,078 --> 01:06:40,079
For you see...
1559
01:06:40,579 --> 01:06:44,083
?? Nothing
ever happens on mars??
1560
01:06:44,083 --> 01:06:46,085
?? No sports
or entertainment??
1561
01:06:46,585 --> 01:06:48,087
?? Or swinging bars??
1562
01:06:48,087 --> 01:06:50,089
?? You stand around??
1563
01:06:50,589 --> 01:06:52,091
?? You stand some more??
1564
01:06:52,091 --> 01:06:56,095
?? On a planet named
for a roman god of war??
1565
01:06:56,595 --> 01:07:00,099
?? Nothing ever
happens on mars??
1566
01:07:00,599 --> 01:07:02,601
?
?? No supersonic airplanes?
1567
01:07:02,601 --> 01:07:04,603
?? No sporty cars??
1568
01:07:04,603 --> 01:07:06,605
?? The sun comes up??
1569
01:07:06,605 --> 01:07:08,107
?? The sun goes down??
1570
01:07:08,107 --> 01:07:10,109
?? You can't
go to the country??
1571
01:07:10,109 --> 01:07:12,611
?? You can't go to town??
1572
01:07:12,611 --> 01:07:14,113
?? Boring, boring??
1573
01:07:14,613 --> 01:07:16,615
?? Boring, boring??
1574
01:07:16,615 --> 01:07:19,118
?? Boring, boring??
1575
01:07:19,618 --> 01:07:21,620
?? Boring??
1576
01:07:23,122 --> 01:07:25,124
[Cheering]
1577
01:07:29,428 --> 01:07:31,430
Well, the town of blaine
1578
01:07:31,430 --> 01:07:33,432
has packed a lot
in the last 150 years.
1579
01:07:33,933 --> 01:07:36,936
We've had our ups
and we've had our downs.
1580
01:07:36,936 --> 01:07:38,437
We've seen our past
1581
01:07:38,437 --> 01:07:40,940
and we look forward
to the future.
1582
01:07:40,940 --> 01:07:42,942
And when
the challenges come,
1583
01:07:42,942 --> 01:07:45,444
we'll greet them
the way americans always do,
1584
01:07:45,444 --> 01:07:48,447
with grit,
determination, and pride.
1585
01:07:48,948 --> 01:07:52,451
Because that,
my friends, isamerica.
1586
01:07:52,451 --> 01:07:55,955
And nothir
says america more to me
1587
01:07:55,955 --> 01:07:58,457
than blaine!
1588
01:07:58,457 --> 01:08:00,960
[Cheering]
1589
01:08:01,961 --> 01:08:03,963
[Orchestra playing
blaine panthers fight song]
1590
01:08:41,500 --> 01:08:43,502
[Music ends]
1591
01:08:57,516 --> 01:08:59,518
Aah! Corky!
1592
01:08:59,518 --> 01:09:01,020
Corky!
1593
01:09:09,528 --> 01:09:11,864
Mmm! You're so brilliant!
You're brilliant!
1594
01:09:12,364 --> 01:09:14,366
Cliff, you're great.
Everyone is so great!
1595
01:09:14,366 --> 01:09:16,368
Ohh, dr. Pearl!
1596
01:09:16,869 --> 01:09:17,870
Corky, you did it!
1597
01:09:17,870 --> 01:09:19,371
Thank you! Mmm!
1598
01:09:19,371 --> 01:09:22,374
I'm going to get mr. Guffman.
I'll be right backstage.
1599
01:09:25,878 --> 01:09:27,880
It was great.
1600
01:09:29,381 --> 01:09:30,883
Hello, how are you?
1601
01:09:30,883 --> 01:09:31,884
Hi.
1602
01:09:32,384 --> 01:09:33,385
It's nice to meet you.
1603
01:09:33,886 --> 01:09:34,887
And you, too.
1604
01:09:34,887 --> 01:09:36,388
Boffo socko, corky.
1605
01:09:36,388 --> 01:09:37,389
Thank you so much,
mr. Mayor.
1606
01:09:37,389 --> 01:09:38,390
Wait'll they hear
about this
1607
01:09:38,390 --> 01:09:39,892
at the next mayor's
conference.
1608
01:09:39,892 --> 01:09:40,893
Thank you so much.
1609
01:09:40,893 --> 01:09:42,895
I know we have
a lot of work to do,
1610
01:09:42,895 --> 01:09:43,896
the first act needs...
1611
01:09:44,396 --> 01:09:45,397
that was magic.
1612
01:09:45,397 --> 01:09:46,899
Thank you very much,
steve.
1613
01:09:46,899 --> 01:09:48,400
God!
Thank you so much.
1614
01:09:48,400 --> 01:09:51,904
Which we've got... the first act,
it's just up and down.
1615
01:09:51,904 --> 01:09:53,906
Kind of dipping in and out,
and i know that,
1616
01:09:53,906 --> 01:09:55,908
just don't have the time
to do everything.
1617
01:09:55,908 --> 01:09:58,410
So, i'm gonna ask you
point-blank...
1618
01:09:58,410 --> 01:09:59,912
do we have a shot
to go to broadway?
1619
01:09:59,912 --> 01:10:01,413
Yes, i think so.
1620
01:10:01,914 --> 01:10:04,917
Ohh, mamma mia!
That is such good news.
1621
01:10:05,417 --> 01:10:07,920
Oh, i can't tell you
what news that is to me.
1622
01:10:07,920 --> 01:10:09,421
Would you like
to meet the cast?
1623
01:10:09,421 --> 01:10:10,422
I'd like that, yeah.
1624
01:10:10,923 --> 01:10:13,926
Oh, great.
Come on with me, you.
1625
01:10:13,926 --> 01:10:14,927
Ohh!
1626
01:10:14,927 --> 01:10:17,429
Mr. Pro!
Wonderful job.
1627
01:10:17,930 --> 01:10:19,431
You, too.
That blaine...
1628
01:10:19,431 --> 01:10:21,433
corky: Everybody!
1629
01:10:21,433 --> 01:10:22,935
Ha ha ha!
1630
01:10:22,935 --> 01:10:24,436
Ohh!
Ohh!
1631
01:10:25,938 --> 01:10:28,941
Yes!
1632
01:10:28,941 --> 01:10:30,442
Our cast.
1633
01:10:30,943 --> 01:10:33,445
Thank you.
You were just great.
1634
01:10:33,445 --> 01:10:34,446
Oh ho ho!
1635
01:10:36,448 --> 01:10:38,951
Well, i'd like... please,
introduce yourselves.
1636
01:10:39,451 --> 01:10:41,954
Sheila... sheila albertson.
1637
01:10:41,954 --> 01:10:43,455
I was?
You were great.
1638
01:10:43,455 --> 01:10:45,457
Mrs. Ron albertson.
I'm ron albertson.
1639
01:10:45,457 --> 01:10:47,459
It's a pleasure to
perform for someone...
1640
01:10:47,459 --> 01:10:48,961
this came
a couple hours ago.
1641
01:10:49,461 --> 01:10:50,462
I'm sorry i'm just now
getting it to you.
1642
01:10:50,963 --> 01:10:51,964
Oh, thank you,
sweetie.
1643
01:10:51,964 --> 01:10:53,465
Clifford wooley.
1644
01:10:53,465 --> 01:10:54,466
Mr. Wooley.
1645
01:10:54,466 --> 01:10:55,467
Nice to meet you.
1646
01:10:55,467 --> 01:10:56,468
Allan pearl.
1647
01:10:56,468 --> 01:10:57,970
You... you make me laugh.
1648
01:10:57,970 --> 01:11:00,973
Oh, it's a delight
to meet you, sir.
1649
01:11:00,973 --> 01:11:03,976
Well, i'm sure that
mr. Guffman would like
1650
01:11:03,976 --> 01:11:06,478
to say a few words to us.
1651
01:11:06,478 --> 01:11:07,980
Hear, hear!
1652
01:11:07,980 --> 01:11:10,482
Corky: Speech,
speech, speech!
1653
01:11:10,482 --> 01:11:12,484
I think there's
some mistake.
1654
01:11:12,484 --> 01:11:13,986
My name is loomis.
Roy loomis.
1655
01:11:13,986 --> 01:11:15,487
I'm down from deming.
1656
01:11:15,988 --> 01:11:17,489
I came down, my niece
had her first baby.
1657
01:11:17,489 --> 01:11:18,991
Yeah, it's a boy.
1658
01:11:18,991 --> 01:11:21,493
That's what
the balloon is for.
1659
01:11:21,493 --> 01:11:23,996
I just wanted
to tell you
1660
01:11:23,996 --> 01:11:26,498
how just absolutely
wonderful you all were.
1661
01:11:26,498 --> 01:11:31,003
And thank you. And
i'll be seeing you.
1662
01:11:31,003 --> 01:11:34,506
And bless you.
He's gonna love this.
1663
01:11:34,506 --> 01:11:35,507
[Laughs] oh, boy.
1664
01:11:44,016 --> 01:11:47,519
Allan: Take our
makeup off. Ahem.
1665
01:12:06,038 --> 01:12:08,040
"Snowstorm in new york.
1666
01:12:08,040 --> 01:12:11,543
"All flights canceled.
1667
01:12:11,543 --> 01:12:14,546
Mort guffman."
1668
01:12:20,552 --> 01:12:22,054
[Pops cork]
1669
01:12:35,234 --> 01:12:39,238
Allan: I think the one really
important thing that i learned
1670
01:12:39,238 --> 01:12:43,742
uh, from my whole experience
in working with corky,
1671
01:12:43,742 --> 01:12:50,749
is that
i do indeed have talent.
1672
01:12:51,250 --> 01:12:53,752
And a couple of things,
actually.
1673
01:12:53,752 --> 01:12:59,258
"B"...i have to entertain.
1674
01:12:59,258 --> 01:13:00,759
I have to entertain.
1675
01:13:01,260 --> 01:13:05,264
And you have to go
where you are needed,
1676
01:13:05,764 --> 01:13:07,266
you have to go where
the crowds are,
1677
01:13:07,266 --> 01:13:13,772
and you have to go
where the love is.
1678
01:13:13,772 --> 01:13:16,775
And the love, for me,
right now
1679
01:13:16,775 --> 01:13:18,777
is in miami.
1680
01:13:18,777 --> 01:13:20,279
Not blaine.
1681
01:13:20,279 --> 01:13:22,281
?? My bubbee made
a kishke??
1682
01:13:22,281 --> 01:13:24,283
?? She made it
big and fat??
1683
01:13:24,283 --> 01:13:25,784
?? My sadie took
one look at it??
1684
01:13:25,784 --> 01:13:27,286
?? And said,
"i can't eat that!"
1685
01:13:27,286 --> 01:13:29,288
??
?? Oh, mama, mama, mama
1686
01:13:29,288 --> 01:13:32,791
?? Oh, mama, me, oh, my
??
1687
01:13:32,791 --> 01:13:35,294
Ron: Well, here we are
in the land of dreams,
1688
01:13:35,794 --> 01:13:38,297
and don't let anybody tell you
dreams can't come true.
1689
01:13:38,297 --> 01:13:40,299
We're an hour from the snow,
1690
01:13:40,299 --> 01:13:42,301
we're 20 minutes
from the ocean,
1691
01:13:42,301 --> 01:13:44,303
2 hours from the mexico.
1692
01:13:44,303 --> 01:13:46,305
5 hours from vegas.
1693
01:13:46,305 --> 01:13:48,307
And we're gonna get there
one of these days.
1694
01:13:48,307 --> 01:13:49,308
Soon as we get a car.
1695
01:13:49,308 --> 01:13:52,311
We don't have a car yet. Who
wants to add to the pollution?
1696
01:13:52,311 --> 01:13:54,313
We consider ourselves
bl-coastal if you consider
1697
01:13:54,313 --> 01:13:57,816
the mississippi river
one of the coasts.
1698
01:13:58,317 --> 01:13:59,818
Woman: Extras, let's go.
Over here.
1699
01:13:59,818 --> 01:14:01,820
All right. Time
to get back to work.
1700
01:14:01,820 --> 01:14:03,322
That's what they're
paying us for.
1701
01:14:03,322 --> 01:14:05,324
Can't they even refer
to us by name?
1702
01:14:05,324 --> 01:14:07,826
Why can't they say,
"ron, sheila,
1703
01:14:07,826 --> 01:14:08,827
we're this way,
please"?
1704
01:14:09,328 --> 01:14:11,330
Still the same paycheck,
honey. How you doing?
1705
01:14:11,330 --> 01:14:12,331
All right.
1706
01:14:12,331 --> 01:14:13,832
You're doing a great
job, incidentally.
1707
01:14:13,832 --> 01:14:15,834
Face towards the camera
and smile.
1708
01:14:15,834 --> 01:14:17,336
Are you gonna smile?
1709
01:14:17,336 --> 01:14:19,338
I think we should
have a line.
1710
01:14:19,338 --> 01:14:20,839
I gave him some suggestions.
He didn't want to hear...
1711
01:14:20,839 --> 01:14:22,841
we should be
line-dancing.
1712
01:14:22,841 --> 01:14:23,842
That's a great idea.
1713
01:14:24,343 --> 01:14:25,844
Director:
Quiet, please!
1714
01:14:25,844 --> 01:14:27,846
Get your finger up.
Keep smiling.
1715
01:14:27,846 --> 01:14:31,350
Director:
Quiet, please.
1716
01:14:31,350 --> 01:14:32,851
Libby: I was on
my way to new york,
1717
01:14:32,851 --> 01:14:35,854
and then my dad
got out of prison.
1718
01:14:35,854 --> 01:14:38,857
Which is good.
1719
01:14:38,857 --> 01:14:40,359
He was supposed to be
in there for 10 years,
1720
01:14:40,859 --> 01:14:42,861
but i guess since
he didn't kill anybody,
1721
01:14:42,861 --> 01:14:47,366
he just... ruined
some property,
1722
01:14:47,366 --> 01:14:49,868
that they let him out
after 5.
1723
01:14:49,868 --> 01:14:53,872
So, it's... i'm here
with my dad.
1724
01:14:53,872 --> 01:14:57,376
And, um...
1725
01:14:57,376 --> 01:14:59,378
i've been thinking
of ice cream and stuff
1726
01:14:59,378 --> 01:15:00,879
and what i could do
with it.
1727
01:15:00,879 --> 01:15:04,883
Maybe... we have a blizzard
and we have a breeze.
1728
01:15:04,883 --> 01:15:06,885
We have derbies.
1729
01:15:06,885 --> 01:15:08,887
The derbies are really old.
1730
01:15:09,388 --> 01:15:11,890
They've been doing derbies...
the chocolate dip...
1731
01:15:11,890 --> 01:15:15,394
for, i think 20 years
or something.
1732
01:15:15,394 --> 01:15:19,398
I really want to sort of
make a healthy
1733
01:15:19,398 --> 01:15:23,902
low-fat or non-fat, um...
1734
01:15:23,902 --> 01:15:26,905
healthy...
1735
01:15:27,406 --> 01:15:28,407
blizzard.
1736
01:15:28,857 --> 01:15:30,909
Corky:
The first thing i did
1737
01:15:31,410 --> 01:15:34,413
when i moved back
to new york city,
1738
01:15:34,413 --> 01:15:36,415
was to look up mr. Guffman.
1739
01:15:36,915 --> 01:15:39,418
And he was so sweet,
1740
01:15:39,418 --> 01:15:41,420
and i think he felt
a little guilty, too,
1741
01:15:41,420 --> 01:15:43,422
because he's
offered me the chance
1742
01:15:43,422 --> 01:15:45,924
to audition for
his new broadway show
1743
01:15:45,924 --> 01:15:48,927
which is a revival
ofmy fair lady.
1744
01:15:48,927 --> 01:15:50,929
It's one of my favorite
shows of all time.
1745
01:15:50,929 --> 01:15:54,933
And the role is
of 'enry 'iggins,
1746
01:15:54,933 --> 01:15:57,936
the somewhat-
stern-taskmaster-
1747
01:15:57,936 --> 01:16:00,939
but-he-really-likes-her-
anyway-kind-of-thing guy
1748
01:16:00,939 --> 01:16:03,942
who teaches eliza
to speak correctly.
1749
01:16:03,942 --> 01:16:06,945
And she of course is of
the cockney persuasion
1750
01:16:07,446 --> 01:16:08,947
and drops her hs.
1751
01:16:08,947 --> 01:16:10,449
And i've been
working on that at home,
1752
01:16:10,949 --> 01:16:13,952
the whole cockney thing of,
"'ello, 'ow are 'oo?"
1753
01:16:13,952 --> 01:16:15,954
"Do you want
to go to 'artford?"
1754
01:16:15,954 --> 01:16:19,458
"Not live in this 'ell'ole."
And that kind of thing.
1755
01:16:19,458 --> 01:16:21,960
I think i'm honing in on it
pretty close now.
1756
01:16:21,960 --> 01:16:25,964
And i suppose that
the cake-and-eat-it-too part
1757
01:16:25,964 --> 01:16:27,466
of this whole story
1758
01:16:27,466 --> 01:16:29,968
is that another dream
of mine has come true,
1759
01:16:29,968 --> 01:16:32,471
which is that i've gotten
to open this shop...
1760
01:16:32,471 --> 01:16:35,974
where i have all
my show business treasures
1761
01:16:35,974 --> 01:16:37,976
and all my memorabilia.
1762
01:16:37,976 --> 01:16:41,480
This is without a doubt,
one of my favorite items.
1763
01:16:41,480 --> 01:16:45,984
Um, my dinner with andre
action figures,
1764
01:16:45,984 --> 01:16:48,487
and what you can do,
which is so cute,
1765
01:16:48,487 --> 01:16:51,990
is you can reenact
the whole scene.
1766
01:16:51,990 --> 01:16:55,994
You know, where the two guys
talk to each other
1767
01:16:55,994 --> 01:16:57,496
and say, you know...
1768
01:16:57,496 --> 01:17:00,499
"boy, i'm sure glad
you found a good restaurant.
1769
01:17:00,499 --> 01:17:02,501
"You know, it's so hard
these days to get in.
1770
01:17:02,501 --> 01:17:04,503
Who do you know?"
1771
01:17:04,503 --> 01:17:06,505
"Oh, i just called.
1772
01:17:06,505 --> 01:17:09,508
Made a call.
Spur of the moment."
1773
01:17:09,508 --> 01:17:13,011
"Ha ha! Oh, you, you can
always get a reservation."
1774
01:17:13,512 --> 01:17:16,515
You know.
That's not from the movie,
1775
01:17:16,515 --> 01:17:18,016
but you can make up
your own dialogue,
1776
01:17:18,016 --> 01:17:20,018
which is one of the great things
about action figures.
1777
01:17:20,018 --> 01:17:22,888
I'm trying to get...
it's very rare...
1778
01:17:22,888 --> 01:17:26,892
the one... the action figures
fordas boot,
1779
01:17:27,392 --> 01:17:30,896
'cause i love to do that
whole claustrophobic thing
1780
01:17:31,396 --> 01:17:33,899
inside the sub
where they're, you know,
1781
01:17:33,899 --> 01:17:36,401
"das kande,
das mushtenstein."
1782
01:17:36,401 --> 01:17:37,402
That whole german thing.
1783
01:17:37,903 --> 01:17:39,905
Can't speak german,
but it sounds like
1784
01:17:39,905 --> 01:17:42,407
sort of a bunch
of barnyard animals,
1785
01:17:42,407 --> 01:17:45,410
"muck, muck, muck,"
making that noise and sweatir.
1786
01:17:45,410 --> 01:17:49,915
Uh, over here,
these are my big heads,
1787
01:17:49,915 --> 01:17:52,918
i call 'em, starting
with anthony michael hall,
1788
01:17:52,918 --> 01:17:55,420
one of the brat packers.
1789
01:17:55,420 --> 01:17:57,923
In fact,
in the background there,
1790
01:17:57,923 --> 01:17:59,925
there's andrew mccan'thy.
1791
01:18:00,425 --> 01:18:04,429
Over here, some new lunchboxes
we've gotten in,
1792
01:18:04,429 --> 01:18:06,431
the remains of the day
lunchbox,
1793
01:18:06,431 --> 01:18:08,433
and the kids,
they're just having
1794
01:18:08,433 --> 01:18:10,435
such a good time
with these, you know.
1795
01:18:10,435 --> 01:18:12,938
Kids don't like
eating lunch at school,
1796
01:18:12,938 --> 01:18:14,940
but if they're got
aremains of the daylunchbox,
1797
01:18:14,940 --> 01:18:16,441
they're a whole lot happier.
1798
01:18:20,946 --> 01:18:22,948
[Blaine panthers
fight song plays]
1799
01:19:18,503 --> 01:19:21,506
Captioning made possible by
warner bros.
1800
01:19:21,506 --> 01:19:24,509
Captioned by the national
captioning institute
- www.ncicap.org...
1801
01:22:56,721 --> 01:22:59,724
sheila:?? There's
not much pleasure??
1802
01:22:59,724 --> 01:23:04,229
Allan:
?? But not much pain??
1803
01:23:04,229 --> 01:23:07,732
Libby:?? 'cause
nothir ever happens??
1804
01:23:07,732 --> 01:23:12,737
Ron:
?? Zero ever happens??
1805
01:23:12,737 --> 01:23:16,741
Corky:
?? Bupkiss ever happens??
1806
01:23:17,242 --> 01:23:19,244
?? In...??
1807
01:23:19,244 --> 01:23:21,246
[Playing lullaby]
1808
01:23:28,253 --> 01:23:34,259
All:?? Blaine??
129514
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.