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♪ LOUIS ARMSTRONG: On The Sunny Side
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Hello. Bournemouth 2353.
3
00:01:04,810 --> 00:01:07,790
Yes, Gerald Durrell is my son.
4
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Gerry?
5
00:01:27,410 --> 00:01:29,129
Mrs Durrell...
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You have just caned my son!
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In a just society, you would be
tied to a tree and whipped
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for beating an innocent child!
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00:01:37,970 --> 00:01:41,849
He would rather feed the rats behind the
cricket pavilion than attend his classes.
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Yes, because he's been bullied,
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ever since arriving
at this pitiful school!
12
00:01:46,250 --> 00:01:48,809
And why do you think that is, dear?
13
00:01:48,810 --> 00:01:53,009
Because... he's a bit different.
14
00:01:53,010 --> 00:01:56,369
That's why children are bullied,
you moron.
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It's easy to see where
his incivility comes from.
16
00:02:00,330 --> 00:02:02,369
Don't use that language!
17
00:02:02,370 --> 00:02:06,710
Don't instruct me. I am not
one of your witless flunkies.
18
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No offence,
I'm sure you would be lovely...
19
00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:11,329
if you were allowed to be.
20
00:02:11,330 --> 00:02:14,169
The purpose of education
is to draw the best out of children,
21
00:02:14,170 --> 00:02:16,369
not to beat fear into them.
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A father would no doubt have ironed
out more of their shortcomings.
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00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:23,969
I look forward
to a letter of apology.
24
00:02:23,970 --> 00:02:25,969
Oh, he won't be returning.
25
00:02:25,970 --> 00:02:27,889
I'd rather
he were taught by monkeys.
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00:02:27,890 --> 00:02:30,729
Mum, I'd love that. Can we do that?
27
00:02:30,730 --> 00:02:33,230
Don't be daft, Gerry.
28
00:02:45,690 --> 00:02:47,529
Ow!
29
00:02:47,530 --> 00:02:50,470
What do you mean,
I'm a bit different?
30
00:03:46,130 --> 00:03:49,569
How could you have stood by
and let me become an estate agent?
31
00:03:49,570 --> 00:03:51,609
I am a writer.
32
00:03:51,610 --> 00:03:54,249
You don't actually write,
though, do you, darling?
33
00:03:54,250 --> 00:03:57,150
- Yes, I'm a fashion model.
- Fighter pilot.
34
00:03:57,850 --> 00:04:00,329
Oh, by the way, I've left school.
35
00:04:00,330 --> 00:04:02,009
No, you haven't.
36
00:04:02,010 --> 00:04:03,729
If Gerry can do it, so can I.
37
00:04:03,730 --> 00:04:06,649
Anyway, I've taken my uniform
into the garden and shot it, so...
38
00:04:06,650 --> 00:04:09,529
I might as well leave too.
I'm as thick as two short planks.
39
00:04:09,530 --> 00:04:11,649
As soon as I can find a husband,
I'll be off.
40
00:04:11,650 --> 00:04:13,689
What is the matter with all of you?
41
00:04:13,690 --> 00:04:15,729
Roger?
42
00:04:15,730 --> 00:04:19,870
Here he is, the unteachable
leading the untrainable.
43
00:04:22,770 --> 00:04:24,609
We should go to Corfu.
44
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I've been.
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Corfu Castle. I'm not going back
till they put a roof on it.
46
00:04:30,330 --> 00:04:32,129
It's CORFE Castle, darling.
47
00:04:32,130 --> 00:04:35,089
Jesus, Margo!
No, Corfu's a Greek island!
48
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I told you I was dim.
49
00:04:38,330 --> 00:04:41,049
Darling, you are NOT dim!
50
00:04:41,050 --> 00:04:43,489
You're 16.
What's all this about a husband?
51
00:04:43,490 --> 00:04:45,209
My friend Donald lives in Corfu.
52
00:04:45,210 --> 00:04:47,329
He says it's dirt cheap,
so I can write there,
53
00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:51,049
full of disgusting animals for Gerry
and, Leslie, you can shoot them.
54
00:04:51,050 --> 00:04:52,849
- Hey, Margo...
- I'll pack.
55
00:04:52,850 --> 00:04:54,729
We are not going anywhere.
56
00:04:54,730 --> 00:04:57,990
We can't just run away
from our problems.
57
00:05:06,970 --> 00:05:08,849
Good afternoon, Mrs Durrell.
58
00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:10,569
Oh! Louisa, please.
59
00:05:10,570 --> 00:05:13,649
Indeed. We widowed folk
must stick together.
60
00:05:13,650 --> 00:05:15,969
You should come and have
that sherry.
61
00:05:15,970 --> 00:05:17,729
Yes, I should.
62
00:05:17,730 --> 00:05:20,129
Since I've retired,
I've played a lot of bowls.
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00:05:20,130 --> 00:05:21,929
Do you play?
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00:05:21,930 --> 00:05:23,969
If only I had the time...
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00:05:23,970 --> 00:05:25,729
and the bowls.
66
00:05:25,730 --> 00:05:27,489
Let me speak plainly?
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00:05:27,490 --> 00:05:32,270
You are an attractive lady
and I am an attractive man.
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00:05:32,810 --> 00:05:35,510
The children need a father figure...
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00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:40,430
...and I'm a big admirer
of boarding schools.
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00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:47,150
Come on!
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00:06:35,650 --> 00:06:37,689
Oh!
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Hello.
73
00:06:44,530 --> 00:06:47,270
Why are you so miserable?
74
00:06:47,730 --> 00:06:50,409
Perhaps it's because
I thought I was a good mother
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00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:54,809
and yet all I've managed to do
is bring up one unteachable son,
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00:06:54,810 --> 00:06:59,089
one psychopath, one vacuous daughter
and you.
77
00:06:59,090 --> 00:07:00,889
What's wrong with me?
78
00:07:00,890 --> 00:07:04,649
And worse than that,
none of you seems happy.
79
00:07:04,650 --> 00:07:07,529
There's no laughter
in this house any more.
80
00:07:07,530 --> 00:07:10,129
A writer shouldn't be happy.
It's counter-productive.
81
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:12,769
You're not a writer,
darling. You sell houses.
82
00:07:12,770 --> 00:07:15,270
It's a flag of convenience.
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00:07:16,690 --> 00:07:19,009
What about you?
You drink like a fish,
84
00:07:19,010 --> 00:07:21,510
if fish drank gin.
85
00:07:27,250 --> 00:07:30,129
And I know we've got money problems.
86
00:07:30,130 --> 00:07:32,910
There are no secrets in this family.
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00:07:34,690 --> 00:07:37,089
There are secrets, actually.
88
00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:39,009
Oh, God, you're not dying, are you?
89
00:07:39,010 --> 00:07:41,950
No, I'm not dying.
90
00:07:44,610 --> 00:07:47,270
The secret is...
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00:07:48,370 --> 00:07:51,350
...that I can't live
like this any more.
92
00:07:52,370 --> 00:07:56,369
When you were all small,
it was like we were on a journey,
93
00:07:56,370 --> 00:07:58,249
always moving forward.
94
00:07:58,250 --> 00:08:01,609
And now we've stopped moving forward
95
00:08:01,610 --> 00:08:04,110
and we are sinking.
96
00:08:08,330 --> 00:08:12,150
So, for once in my life, Larry,
I have decided...
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00:08:12,930 --> 00:08:15,350
...to take your advice.
98
00:08:17,890 --> 00:08:20,390
Which advice?
99
00:09:26,490 --> 00:09:31,009
You know, a taxi would probably cost
the same as a banana in Bournemouth.
100
00:09:31,010 --> 00:09:33,129
We should start as we mean to go on.
101
00:09:33,130 --> 00:09:35,169
Wanting to kill each other?
102
00:09:35,170 --> 00:09:37,049
Economising.
103
00:09:37,050 --> 00:09:39,169
Look, I can see the village
104
00:09:39,170 --> 00:09:41,670
up ahead. Look.
105
00:09:42,850 --> 00:09:44,929
You are not serious.
106
00:09:44,930 --> 00:09:47,849
Now, look, the house sale
barely covered our debts.
107
00:09:47,850 --> 00:09:49,889
We have no money.
108
00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:51,889
I have a miserly widow's pension.
109
00:09:51,890 --> 00:09:54,169
- You are a miserly widow.
- Be quiet!
110
00:09:54,170 --> 00:09:56,769
And you all earn precisely nothing.
111
00:09:56,770 --> 00:09:58,809
We are not on holiday.
112
00:09:58,810 --> 00:10:01,209
We are here to live
like local people,
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00:10:01,210 --> 00:10:03,449
in joy and togetherness,
114
00:10:03,450 --> 00:10:06,729
without the trappings
of so-called civilisation,
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00:10:06,730 --> 00:10:08,529
which, as far as I can tell,
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00:10:08,530 --> 00:10:11,489
basically means
cruelty and alienation.
117
00:10:11,490 --> 00:10:14,790
It's going to be wonderful.
118
00:10:17,490 --> 00:10:20,689
Don't talk to him. Everybody here
only speaks Greek, anyway.
119
00:10:20,690 --> 00:10:22,329
- Hi. You peoples want a taxi?
- No.
120
00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:23,889
- Yes.
- Absolutely.
121
00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:26,449
- Where are you going?
- We like walking.
122
00:10:26,450 --> 00:10:30,369
Ignore her. We're going to that
guest-house in the far, far distance.
123
00:10:30,370 --> 00:10:32,129
- That's a nice motor.
- It's American.
124
00:10:32,130 --> 00:10:34,310
Nothing like it on Corfu.
125
00:10:34,730 --> 00:10:36,329
- Spiros Halikiopoulos.
- Leslie.
126
00:10:36,330 --> 00:10:38,729
- Margo.
- Larry.
127
00:10:38,730 --> 00:10:41,329
I'm... Mrs Durrell.
128
00:10:41,330 --> 00:10:43,369
The mother.
129
00:10:43,370 --> 00:10:45,369
The most important person.
130
00:10:45,370 --> 00:10:47,409
I'll get your luggage.
131
00:10:47,410 --> 00:10:50,449
- Where's Gerry?
- Gerry?
132
00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:53,809
- There's a lizard.
- It's a tree with a lizard on it.
133
00:10:53,810 --> 00:10:57,590
- How could that possibly be interesting?
- Gerry!
134
00:11:01,570 --> 00:11:03,489
You's very pale.
135
00:11:03,490 --> 00:11:05,969
- Yes, we plan to a lot of sunbathing.
- No, we don't.
136
00:11:05,970 --> 00:11:09,070
- It's the main reason we came here.
- No, it isn't.
137
00:11:09,610 --> 00:11:11,729
- How long are you staying?
- We don't know.
138
00:11:11,730 --> 00:11:15,350
But, well, we don't have a house
to go back to in England.
139
00:11:15,890 --> 00:11:19,209
Honest to God, if I wasn't Greek,
I'd like to be English.
140
00:11:19,210 --> 00:11:21,750
Oh. Thank you.
141
00:11:28,650 --> 00:11:31,150
Oh, this must be it.
142
00:11:31,890 --> 00:11:34,689
No, you don't stay here.
Too expensive.
143
00:11:34,690 --> 00:11:37,889
Lots of empty houses on the island.
I'll find you one.
144
00:11:37,890 --> 00:11:41,150
Yes. Good.
145
00:12:04,370 --> 00:12:06,870
Mrs Durrells! Come!
146
00:12:21,980 --> 00:12:25,240
Gerry!
There's a zoo in the lavatory!
147
00:12:32,900 --> 00:12:34,539
Wow!
148
00:12:34,540 --> 00:12:36,720
I'm sleeping in the lavatory!
149
00:12:47,420 --> 00:12:50,699
I can't believe the Customs
let you through with those.
150
00:12:50,700 --> 00:12:55,000
I just think they know self-defence
is vital in today's unsure world.
151
00:12:56,060 --> 00:13:00,339
- I think you should marry Spiros.
- I don't want to marry again.
152
00:13:00,340 --> 00:13:02,379
- But he was wearing a wedding ring...
- Oh.
153
00:13:02,380 --> 00:13:05,739
...and he had a photograph of his
wife and children on the dashboard.
154
00:13:05,740 --> 00:13:07,899
I thought that was
the Greek royal family.
155
00:13:07,900 --> 00:13:10,019
Why would he have a photo of them?
156
00:13:10,020 --> 00:13:14,240
- Where's the...?
- Oh, there's no electricity on Corfu.
157
00:13:30,300 --> 00:13:33,120
I get some more discounts,
Mrs Durrells.
158
00:13:52,140 --> 00:13:56,600
Ah, we really need to get some beds.
159
00:13:57,620 --> 00:14:00,579
Gerry? Gerry? Wellingtons.
160
00:14:00,580 --> 00:14:02,739
- Why?
- The snakes.
161
00:14:02,740 --> 00:14:04,539
Here.
162
00:14:04,540 --> 00:14:06,859
Oh... and this.
163
00:14:06,860 --> 00:14:08,419
- What?
- So you can be seen.
164
00:14:08,420 --> 00:14:11,040
- Mum, I'm sure it's fine.
- There we are.
165
00:14:12,780 --> 00:14:14,859
And er...
166
00:14:14,860 --> 00:14:16,939
don't... do anything.
167
00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:19,019
Bye!
168
00:14:19,020 --> 00:14:21,379
Bye, Mother. See you later.
169
00:14:21,380 --> 00:14:23,880
Oh. Margo!
170
00:14:24,700 --> 00:14:27,139
- Show me.
- What?
171
00:14:27,140 --> 00:14:29,640
You know what.
172
00:14:33,020 --> 00:14:35,219
Margo, this is not Bournemouth.
173
00:14:35,220 --> 00:14:37,259
I know.
I presume that's why we're here.
174
00:14:37,260 --> 00:14:39,299
The Greeks can be very conservative.
175
00:14:39,300 --> 00:14:41,459
In my day,
young ladies avoided the sun.
176
00:14:41,460 --> 00:14:43,859
Well, in my day,
which is now, we don't.
177
00:14:43,860 --> 00:14:46,360
Book?
178
00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:50,680
Good girl.
And don't just use it as a pillow.
179
00:14:57,700 --> 00:15:00,099
Right. Starting now.
180
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:02,720
At last.
181
00:15:05,540 --> 00:15:08,299
Oh, Leslie, will you help me,
darling, with the...
182
00:15:08,300 --> 00:15:11,160
I'm afraid not. I'm too busy.
183
00:15:40,020 --> 00:15:43,240
Erm... kalimera.
184
00:15:45,100 --> 00:15:47,179
Kalimera.
185
00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:50,019
That was excellent.
Do you have any more Greek?
186
00:15:50,020 --> 00:15:52,419
No, we've only been here one day.
187
00:15:52,420 --> 00:15:54,339
Oh. Welcome.
188
00:15:54,340 --> 00:15:57,280
Have you seen one of those before?
189
00:15:57,940 --> 00:16:00,459
- No.
- The nest of an Egyptian vulture.
190
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:03,379
Its party piece is breaking eggs
it wants to eat
191
00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:05,299
by throwing pebbles at them.
192
00:16:05,300 --> 00:16:08,160
It's very rare for birds
to use tools.
193
00:16:08,980 --> 00:16:10,739
Oh, sorry, you probably knew that.
194
00:16:10,740 --> 00:16:13,240
No.
195
00:16:48,540 --> 00:16:50,600
Shoo! Shoo! Shoo!
196
00:16:53,340 --> 00:16:55,859
Do you have kumquats in Hampshire?
197
00:16:55,860 --> 00:16:59,120
I don't think so.
It's mainly apples...
198
00:16:59,740 --> 00:17:01,699
...and cabbage.
199
00:17:01,700 --> 00:17:03,979
Apples are not good in Corfu.
200
00:17:03,980 --> 00:17:08,600
We are pretty sure, in the Bible,
Eve was tempted by a kumquat.
201
00:17:09,620 --> 00:17:12,200
- That's a tiny joke.
- Oh!
202
00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:15,800
How are your creatures?
203
00:17:16,780 --> 00:17:19,019
I can't wait to show my family.
204
00:17:19,020 --> 00:17:21,019
Your optimism is impressive.
205
00:17:21,020 --> 00:17:23,419
I find my interest in wildlife
206
00:17:23,420 --> 00:17:26,640
is regarded by my friends
as a form of madness.
207
00:17:27,620 --> 00:17:29,819
Ooh-ooh!
208
00:17:29,820 --> 00:17:31,539
Dogs jumping like kangaroos!
209
00:17:31,540 --> 00:17:33,920
Always funny.
210
00:17:36,860 --> 00:17:39,099
Good shot, Leslie.
211
00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:41,600
Don't hit your mother.
212
00:17:48,020 --> 00:17:50,179
Larry, come down here and help!
213
00:17:50,180 --> 00:17:52,680
I can't. I'm working!
214
00:17:54,660 --> 00:17:57,099
- Mrs Durrells?
- Oh.
215
00:17:57,100 --> 00:17:58,859
- I bring you Lugaretzia.
- Oh.
216
00:17:58,860 --> 00:18:01,299
Hello. Why?
217
00:18:01,300 --> 00:18:05,499
You need help. Big family,
house pretty, but not so perfect!
218
00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:08,579
Yes, you spotted that. Thank you,
Spiros, but we can't afford help.
219
00:18:08,580 --> 00:18:11,779
- Of course you can. You're English.
- The English come in all kinds,
220
00:18:11,780 --> 00:18:14,179
and we are the poor type.
221
00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:16,659
She's cheap. Part-time, almost free.
222
00:18:16,660 --> 00:18:19,819
Oh, God,
I look like some kind of a witch.
223
00:18:19,820 --> 00:18:22,939
No, you don't. Where's Mr Durrells?
224
00:18:22,940 --> 00:18:24,979
Oh, he's dead... selfishly.
225
00:18:24,980 --> 00:18:27,899
So it's just me now,
shouldering the burden.
226
00:18:27,900 --> 00:18:31,939
Like a braying, sexless donkey!
227
00:18:31,940 --> 00:18:36,059
She doesn't understand English, so you
can shout out bad things about her.
228
00:18:36,060 --> 00:18:38,259
I don't want to shout out
bad things about her.
229
00:18:38,260 --> 00:18:41,000
How cheap is she?
Lugaretzia...
230
00:18:51,340 --> 00:18:53,139
Shh!
231
00:18:53,140 --> 00:18:55,640
15 drachmas a day.
232
00:18:56,660 --> 00:18:59,160
Welcome.
233
00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:02,379
Erm... she's a little bit
hypochondriac.
234
00:19:02,380 --> 00:19:04,499
Oh.
235
00:19:04,500 --> 00:19:07,880
Goodbye, Mrs Durrells.
236
00:19:10,740 --> 00:19:12,459
Oh, darling, what's the matter?
237
00:19:12,460 --> 00:19:14,539
A man shouted at me.
238
00:19:14,540 --> 00:19:17,099
Oh, sweetheart.
239
00:19:17,100 --> 00:19:19,139
Oh...
240
00:19:19,140 --> 00:19:23,579
It's all right. It's just going to
be more different than I thought.
241
00:19:23,580 --> 00:19:25,619
Yes.
242
00:19:25,620 --> 00:19:28,120
Yes, me too.
243
00:19:49,260 --> 00:19:51,899
Don't be so feeble.
Go back and shout at him!
244
00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:55,099
What, so he has an excuse
to throw me into the sea or kill me?
245
00:19:55,100 --> 00:19:57,579
- Oh, have some moral courage.
- Stop it, you two.
246
00:19:57,580 --> 00:20:01,219
When have you ever shown
any moral courage? Whatever that is.
247
00:20:01,220 --> 00:20:03,939
I show moral courage in my writing
every day.
248
00:20:03,940 --> 00:20:06,219
What writing?! Get a proper job!
249
00:20:06,220 --> 00:20:07,779
You're an intellectual dwarf.
250
00:20:07,780 --> 00:20:10,339
- Larry, that is cruel.
- At least I'm intellectual.
251
00:20:10,340 --> 00:20:12,579
Your intellect is dwarf-sized!
252
00:20:12,580 --> 00:20:15,219
For God's sake.
253
00:20:15,220 --> 00:20:18,059
Yes, it's very nice, isn't it?
It was my mother's, actually.
254
00:20:18,060 --> 00:20:21,440
It looks like a bullet hole.
Leslie must have nearly shot her.
255
00:20:25,860 --> 00:20:28,600
She's not still going on
about that, is she?
256
00:20:31,820 --> 00:20:33,659
No!
257
00:20:33,660 --> 00:20:35,379
Lugaretzia?
258
00:20:35,380 --> 00:20:38,059
Lugaretzia? Come back!
259
00:20:38,060 --> 00:20:40,339
Leslie, you could have killed her.
260
00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:43,099
It's an air-gun. She could get
a flesh wound at worst...
261
00:20:43,100 --> 00:20:45,619
or lose an eye!
- Or lose an eye?!
262
00:20:45,620 --> 00:20:49,499
Unbelievable! I have been
working like a slave for you.
263
00:20:49,500 --> 00:20:52,819
- Now we've lost my only bit of help.
- There's so many species in the wood.
264
00:20:52,820 --> 00:20:56,419
- I found...
- Gerry!
265
00:20:56,420 --> 00:20:58,699
- Stop them!
- Get them out! Get them out!
266
00:20:58,700 --> 00:21:00,659
Don't stamp on them!
267
00:21:00,660 --> 00:21:02,699
- Let me shoot one of them!
- Don't shoot them!
268
00:21:02,700 --> 00:21:05,019
Stop it!
269
00:21:05,020 --> 00:21:07,520
Stop it!
270
00:21:09,900 --> 00:21:12,720
Where did I go wrong?
271
00:21:13,860 --> 00:21:17,200
How did you all become so vile?
272
00:21:44,740 --> 00:21:46,779
You know what her problem is?
273
00:21:46,780 --> 00:21:48,579
Don't you think we're the problem?
274
00:21:48,580 --> 00:21:50,339
- No.
- Don't be absurd.
275
00:21:50,340 --> 00:21:51,619
She needs a man.
276
00:21:51,620 --> 00:21:55,939
Don't you dare talk about Mother
like that. I'll look after her.
277
00:21:55,940 --> 00:21:58,779
Let me lend you a paper by Freud
called the Oedipus Complex.
278
00:21:58,780 --> 00:22:01,619
I expect that's really clever,
but nobody cares.
279
00:22:01,620 --> 00:22:03,419
The body is built for sex.
280
00:22:03,420 --> 00:22:05,459
Gerry knows.
He watched animals mating.
281
00:22:05,460 --> 00:22:07,499
You are obsessed with sex.
282
00:22:07,500 --> 00:22:09,299
At last, we agree on something.
283
00:22:09,300 --> 00:22:12,059
And since I'm not getting any,
at least we can help Mother.
284
00:22:12,060 --> 00:22:14,219
All right,
where should we start looking?
285
00:22:14,220 --> 00:22:16,219
We can't just drag men in
off the street.
286
00:22:16,220 --> 00:22:18,579
Good afternoon.
287
00:22:18,580 --> 00:22:21,179
- Theo!
- My name is Theo Stephanides.
288
00:22:21,180 --> 00:22:23,339
Hello.
Good afternoon.
289
00:22:23,340 --> 00:22:25,419
Gerry kindly invited me for tea.
290
00:22:25,420 --> 00:22:28,440
- For your future discoveries.
- Thank you so much.
291
00:22:29,060 --> 00:22:31,539
- Tea, yes.
- Shall I come back another day?
292
00:22:31,540 --> 00:22:33,579
- No, no, no.
- It's fine.
293
00:22:33,580 --> 00:22:35,619
- Tea...
- Theo?
294
00:22:35,620 --> 00:22:38,219
Are you single?
295
00:22:38,220 --> 00:22:40,720
Yes. Yes, I am.
296
00:23:06,020 --> 00:23:08,720
Good luck.
297
00:23:09,940 --> 00:23:12,499
We couldn't work out
how to heat the water.
298
00:23:12,500 --> 00:23:14,819
Oh, don't worry.
I can have tea any time.
299
00:23:14,820 --> 00:23:18,280
Figs with sardines -
that's breaking new ground.
300
00:23:19,300 --> 00:23:23,739
So, can I help unlock any mysteries
about Corfu?
301
00:23:23,740 --> 00:23:26,059
Can you explain
why a monk shouted at me
302
00:23:26,060 --> 00:23:28,219
like a lunatic as I was sunbathing?
303
00:23:28,220 --> 00:23:30,979
Maybe you were just lying
in his space.
304
00:23:30,980 --> 00:23:33,339
The Greeks used to spend
half their lives naked.
305
00:23:33,340 --> 00:23:35,259
So he has no excuse.
306
00:23:35,260 --> 00:23:37,539
That was the Ancient Greeks
and MALE nudity.
307
00:23:37,540 --> 00:23:40,379
Female bodies were more often
shown partially clothed.
308
00:23:40,380 --> 00:23:42,299
Well, there you go, then.
309
00:23:42,300 --> 00:23:45,360
Become a man
or wear a coat over your bikini.
310
00:23:46,060 --> 00:23:51,819
There's one rule for men
and one for women, isn't there?
311
00:23:51,820 --> 00:23:54,459
Have you only just noticed?
312
00:23:54,460 --> 00:23:56,499
I've been busy growing up.
313
00:23:56,500 --> 00:23:58,339
How long has this been going on?
314
00:23:58,340 --> 00:24:01,939
Even Aristotle, who was no slouch,
placed women some way below men...
315
00:24:01,940 --> 00:24:04,440
but above slaves. Hurrah!
316
00:24:05,180 --> 00:24:07,179
Are there any more biscuits, Margo?
317
00:24:07,180 --> 00:24:09,240
Get them yourself!
318
00:24:10,500 --> 00:24:12,819
So, Theo...
319
00:24:12,820 --> 00:24:14,859
you are not married yet.
320
00:24:14,860 --> 00:24:17,259
What do you look for in a woman?
321
00:24:17,260 --> 00:24:19,299
Oh!
322
00:24:19,300 --> 00:24:21,619
Someone I can exchange ideas with,
323
00:24:21,620 --> 00:24:23,859
discuss scientific advances
324
00:24:23,860 --> 00:24:25,939
and just sit quietly with.
325
00:24:25,940 --> 00:24:28,440
Oh!
326
00:24:29,220 --> 00:24:31,720
- Yeah, no, that won't work.
- No.
327
00:24:56,180 --> 00:24:58,299
Theo came for tea.
328
00:24:58,300 --> 00:25:00,899
Well, not tea, but he gave me this,
329
00:25:00,900 --> 00:25:02,939
which I filled with dormice.
330
00:25:02,940 --> 00:25:05,440
Oh, Gerry.
331
00:25:06,700 --> 00:25:09,419
We told Leslie he can't shoot
near the house any more
332
00:25:09,420 --> 00:25:12,659
because Larry can't write
and he might kill us.
333
00:25:12,660 --> 00:25:15,139
So he's going off
round the island tomorrow.
334
00:25:15,140 --> 00:25:17,640
Come on.
335
00:25:20,300 --> 00:25:22,939
Ooh! Getting quite big, aren't you?
336
00:25:22,940 --> 00:25:24,899
Yes. Should I get off?
337
00:25:24,900 --> 00:25:27,400
No.
338
00:25:44,860 --> 00:25:48,640
You can get off now.
I can't feel my legs.
339
00:26:35,260 --> 00:26:37,760
Any recommendations?
340
00:26:38,460 --> 00:26:41,019
Hm... Avoid the food.
341
00:26:41,020 --> 00:26:43,520
Stick to the booze.
342
00:26:46,140 --> 00:26:48,259
A fellow foreigner, huh?
343
00:26:48,260 --> 00:26:50,219
Yes,
344
00:26:50,220 --> 00:26:53,259
although I consider myself
a citizen of the world.
345
00:26:53,260 --> 00:26:55,619
You look like you've been around.
346
00:26:55,620 --> 00:26:57,659
Hm.
347
00:26:57,660 --> 00:26:59,699
Sailed the seven seas.
348
00:26:59,700 --> 00:27:01,419
Do you have a favourite?
349
00:27:01,420 --> 00:27:03,779
Hated all of them!
350
00:27:03,780 --> 00:27:05,819
Treacherous, cold...
351
00:27:05,820 --> 00:27:07,859
wet.
352
00:27:07,860 --> 00:27:10,200
Generally devoid of women.
353
00:27:27,980 --> 00:27:30,059
I am dressed perfectly respectably,
354
00:27:30,060 --> 00:27:33,019
unlike Ancient Greek men,
from all accounts.
355
00:27:33,020 --> 00:27:35,520
And I'm entitled to be here.
356
00:27:52,500 --> 00:27:55,099
I think you should take
a break from sunbathing...
357
00:27:55,100 --> 00:27:56,899
I am not going to be put off...
358
00:27:56,900 --> 00:27:59,720
...because your face
looks like a tomato.
359
00:28:02,180 --> 00:28:03,979
Oh!
360
00:28:03,980 --> 00:28:05,699
Exciting news!
361
00:28:05,700 --> 00:28:08,459
Why are you speaking quietly?
You never speak quietly.
362
00:28:08,460 --> 00:28:10,499
Because I don't want Mother to hear.
363
00:28:10,500 --> 00:28:12,259
God, why is everyone so dim?
364
00:28:12,260 --> 00:28:14,859
She's gone to the bank
to see if the money's arrived yet.
365
00:28:14,860 --> 00:28:17,819
Fortunately, we won't starve.
I've shot this beauty.
366
00:28:17,820 --> 00:28:19,979
She won't need her own money
if this works out.
367
00:28:19,980 --> 00:28:21,859
I've found her a man.
368
00:28:21,860 --> 00:28:24,019
- No? Who?
- His name's Captain Creech.
369
00:28:24,020 --> 00:28:26,939
Cracking sense of humour.
Stories to tell.
370
00:28:26,940 --> 00:28:30,939
Doesn't beat about the bush and,
well, he must have a few quid.
371
00:28:30,940 --> 00:28:32,939
This will go horribly wrong,
you know.
372
00:28:32,940 --> 00:28:35,739
- How will you get them together?
- I might leave it a few weeks.
373
00:28:35,740 --> 00:28:38,179
Her monthly's coming up
and she'll be more volat...
374
00:28:38,180 --> 00:28:40,259
Stop saying these things!
You are such a...
375
00:28:40,260 --> 00:28:42,779
The money's arrived
from the sale of our furniture.
376
00:28:42,780 --> 00:28:46,800
It's not much, but it might make us
feel a bit more like we belong.
377
00:29:01,580 --> 00:29:03,619
For Easter.
378
00:29:03,620 --> 00:29:06,400
- Parakalo.
- Efharisto.
379
00:29:57,860 --> 00:29:59,939
How are you feeling, Mother?
380
00:29:59,940 --> 00:30:02,819
Well... happier.
381
00:30:02,820 --> 00:30:05,419
Still livid that
you drove Lugaretzia away.
382
00:30:05,420 --> 00:30:08,979
And... hormonally?
383
00:30:08,980 --> 00:30:11,059
Don't be ridiculous!
384
00:30:11,060 --> 00:30:13,459
I'm bringing a pal over
for supper tonight.
385
00:30:13,460 --> 00:30:15,859
- Your age, as it happens.
- Oh.
386
00:30:15,860 --> 00:30:18,059
Well, our first guest.
387
00:30:18,060 --> 00:30:20,659
What shall I cook?
It will have to be mainly figs.
388
00:30:20,660 --> 00:30:24,160
Right, I'm off for the day.
389
00:30:29,180 --> 00:30:32,619
Did anyone notice anything
different about Leslie?
390
00:30:32,620 --> 00:30:34,779
I try not to look at him.
391
00:30:34,780 --> 00:30:37,259
- He is becoming very handsome.
- He really isn't.
392
00:30:37,260 --> 00:30:39,760
He left without a gun.
393
00:30:40,500 --> 00:30:43,120
I've never seen him without a gun.
394
00:31:26,060 --> 00:31:29,480
God bless you.
395
00:31:32,980 --> 00:31:37,139
I didn't take a firearm this morning
because I'm over all that now.
396
00:31:37,140 --> 00:31:40,219
Oh. Oh, I'm so glad, Leslie.
397
00:31:40,220 --> 00:31:42,019
I just like exploring the island,
398
00:31:42,020 --> 00:31:44,659
you know, with a dictionary.
Talking to the locals.
399
00:31:44,660 --> 00:31:47,139
What's really going on?
Have you shot someone dead?
400
00:31:47,140 --> 00:31:49,459
Don't be silly, Margo.
401
00:31:49,460 --> 00:31:51,619
He's just growing up.
402
00:31:51,620 --> 00:31:54,139
Besides, it's the 1930s, darling.
403
00:31:54,140 --> 00:31:56,019
People don't need guns any more.
404
00:31:56,020 --> 00:31:58,339
Mother, this is Captain Creech.
405
00:31:58,340 --> 00:32:00,699
He's been looking forward
to meeting you.
406
00:32:00,700 --> 00:32:03,960
Well... Mrs Durrell.
407
00:32:04,860 --> 00:32:08,339
With a face like that, you
should be on the front of a ship.
408
00:32:08,340 --> 00:32:10,179
Oh, thank you.
409
00:32:10,180 --> 00:32:12,459
A present for the house -
410
00:32:12,460 --> 00:32:15,960
a bottle of the finest rum
from Jamaica.
411
00:32:16,500 --> 00:32:19,699
Have you er... ever been to Jamaica?
412
00:32:19,700 --> 00:32:21,899
No, no, I haven't.
413
00:32:21,900 --> 00:32:24,680
The first place
I ever caught gonorrhoea.
414
00:32:28,620 --> 00:32:31,259
So... there we were,
415
00:32:31,260 --> 00:32:35,299
a dozen Uruguayan strumpets
below deck
416
00:32:35,300 --> 00:32:39,600
and a ripping wind, straight out
of the arsehole of the Earth.
417
00:32:42,540 --> 00:32:45,760
My, this is good tucker.
418
00:32:46,420 --> 00:32:48,920
I like a girl who is er...
419
00:32:49,420 --> 00:32:51,339
...handy in the galley,
420
00:32:51,340 --> 00:32:53,880
as well as in bed.
421
00:32:55,140 --> 00:32:57,499
- Where was I?
- Arsehole of the Earth.
422
00:32:57,500 --> 00:33:00,059
- Ah!
- Yes, that's quite enough of that story.
423
00:33:00,060 --> 00:33:02,379
Gerry, sing us a song.
Anything you like.
424
00:33:02,380 --> 00:33:05,339
- Where's your head?
- At the moment, it's pounding.
425
00:33:05,340 --> 00:33:07,339
It's nautical for...
426
00:33:07,340 --> 00:33:09,139
Crapper, dunny,
427
00:33:09,140 --> 00:33:10,979
thunder box.
428
00:33:10,980 --> 00:33:13,019
- I think he means the lavatory.
- Yes.
429
00:33:13,020 --> 00:33:15,419
Yes, I know that... now.
430
00:33:15,420 --> 00:33:17,499
It's round the back.
431
00:33:17,500 --> 00:33:20,160
Excuse me.
432
00:33:24,940 --> 00:33:27,960
(What the hell
did you think you were doing,
433
00:33:30,540 --> 00:33:32,699
- He's a breath of fresh air.
- Oh!
434
00:33:32,700 --> 00:33:36,920
This is what happens
when women let men rule the roost.
435
00:33:49,660 --> 00:33:52,160
Get up!
436
00:33:57,900 --> 00:33:59,779
- Bye.
- Oh,
- Leslie.
437
00:33:59,780 --> 00:34:02,179
What are you doing today?
438
00:34:02,180 --> 00:34:04,219
Just walk around, chat with locals.
439
00:34:04,220 --> 00:34:06,579
Ask for work,
so I can help out with the money.
440
00:34:06,580 --> 00:34:09,080
Oh...
441
00:34:11,660 --> 00:34:13,779
- He's lying.
- I know.
442
00:34:13,780 --> 00:34:15,899
I just thought
I'd treat him like an adult.
443
00:34:15,900 --> 00:34:19,219
What were you treating him like when
you let him have half a dozen guns?
444
00:34:19,220 --> 00:34:20,779
I'm a mother, not a policeman.
445
00:34:20,780 --> 00:34:23,099
I thought
it might lead to some discipline,
446
00:34:23,100 --> 00:34:25,419
make a man of him,
with Daddy not being there.
447
00:34:25,420 --> 00:34:27,859
You'll discover,
if ever you have children...
448
00:34:27,860 --> 00:34:31,040
I am listening.
I'm just going into the garden.
449
00:34:41,500 --> 00:34:44,640
Stupid boy, where are you?
450
00:35:06,100 --> 00:35:08,480
Urgh!
451
00:35:40,835 --> 00:35:43,339
Sodding, bloody...
452
00:35:43,340 --> 00:35:45,259
Larry, please!
453
00:35:45,260 --> 00:35:48,019
I'm sure Virginia Woolf
doesn't swear like a trooper.
454
00:35:48,020 --> 00:35:51,219
Well, her brother didn't remove
the letter X from her typewriter.
455
00:35:51,220 --> 00:35:53,379
Why would Leslie do that?
456
00:35:53,380 --> 00:35:56,619
So I don't write the word "sex"
so much, apparently.
457
00:35:56,620 --> 00:36:00,640
It's all right. I'll get him back.
458
00:36:05,540 --> 00:36:10,699
Did I mention that your arse
should be on the front of a ship?
459
00:36:10,700 --> 00:36:13,419
Don't start that again.
We had quite enough last night.
460
00:36:13,420 --> 00:36:15,899
It's your fault
for letting me drink.
461
00:36:15,900 --> 00:36:18,899
Look below the surface -
462
00:36:18,900 --> 00:36:22,059
it's usually the ladies
that cause the problems.
463
00:36:22,060 --> 00:36:25,779
Look, I am astonished that
nobody has murdered you yet.
464
00:36:25,780 --> 00:36:28,179
Now, please leave!
465
00:36:28,180 --> 00:36:31,120
After you've made me
a spot of lunch.
466
00:36:34,020 --> 00:36:38,680
Shut up! Use a bloody pencil!
467
00:36:52,060 --> 00:36:54,979
Lugaretzia!
468
00:36:54,980 --> 00:36:57,019
Welcome back.
469
00:36:57,020 --> 00:37:00,000
It's been hell without you.
470
00:37:06,100 --> 00:37:08,579
Son of a bitz.
471
00:37:08,580 --> 00:37:11,019
I see Spiros has been teaching you.
472
00:37:11,020 --> 00:37:14,040
In England, we say "bastard".
473
00:37:15,220 --> 00:37:17,459
Barsto?
474
00:37:17,460 --> 00:37:19,960
- Bastard.
- Barsto.
475
00:37:26,940 --> 00:37:29,139
I love him, Mum.
476
00:37:29,140 --> 00:37:31,640
Oh, Gerry, take it outside.
477
00:37:34,340 --> 00:37:36,659
Gerry, take him outside, now!
478
00:37:36,660 --> 00:37:39,979
- He'll escape.
- Not for a while, he won't.
479
00:37:39,980 --> 00:37:43,040
Gerry?
There's so much to see.
480
00:38:02,220 --> 00:38:05,240
Eat, then leave.
481
00:38:06,540 --> 00:38:09,419
I'm sorry if I've disappointed you.
482
00:38:09,420 --> 00:38:14,160
I've spent too much time
in the company of uncouth men.
483
00:38:14,940 --> 00:38:17,019
Oh. Well...
484
00:38:17,020 --> 00:38:19,099
thank you.
485
00:38:19,100 --> 00:38:21,600
I'm sorry, I...
486
00:38:24,060 --> 00:38:26,560
Get out!
487
00:38:26,980 --> 00:38:30,320
Fine. I'll just finish my lunch.
488
00:38:39,180 --> 00:38:40,939
Now, you leave...
489
00:38:40,940 --> 00:38:43,440
or I'll shoot you.
490
00:38:43,820 --> 00:38:46,320
No, you won't.
491
00:38:50,780 --> 00:38:54,560
You are in great need of a slap!
492
00:38:59,700 --> 00:39:02,459
Oh, so it's OK for you to shoot
and nearly kill someone?
493
00:39:02,460 --> 00:39:04,419
Yes. Yes, it is.
494
00:39:04,420 --> 00:39:08,019
- Leslie, we told you - no more shooting!
- It wasn't me!
495
00:39:08,020 --> 00:39:11,459
That is the last time you try
to find me a husband. Is that clear?
496
00:39:11,460 --> 00:39:14,419
Are you sure? I met
a fascinating Turk in a bar in town.
497
00:39:14,420 --> 00:39:16,859
And how did you think
I would fall for...
498
00:39:16,860 --> 00:39:19,019
Popeye the bloody Sailor Man?!
499
00:39:19,020 --> 00:39:21,099
And he's not "my age"!
500
00:39:21,100 --> 00:39:22,939
We think the sex will calm you down.
501
00:39:22,940 --> 00:39:24,739
God!
502
00:39:24,740 --> 00:39:26,859
Your father was the love of my life,
503
00:39:26,860 --> 00:39:29,579
and I don't want or need
a pale imitation of him.
504
00:39:29,580 --> 00:39:31,979
Well, I find that rather sad.
505
00:39:31,980 --> 00:39:34,339
You may have given up...
506
00:39:34,340 --> 00:39:36,840
but we haven't.
507
00:40:20,580 --> 00:40:23,080
Ooh!
508
00:40:23,980 --> 00:40:26,139
Oh, where have you been?
509
00:40:26,140 --> 00:40:28,139
I was following Leslie
and I got lost.
510
00:40:28,140 --> 00:40:31,659
I tried to ask the way home, but
nobody's bothered to learn English.
511
00:40:31,660 --> 00:40:35,819
Anyway,
Leslie's lost his interest in guns
512
00:40:35,820 --> 00:40:37,579
because he's got a girlfriend.
513
00:40:37,580 --> 00:40:39,259
A what?
514
00:40:39,260 --> 00:40:42,059
I found him with a local girl,
kissing and worse.
515
00:40:42,060 --> 00:40:44,219
Oh!
516
00:40:44,220 --> 00:40:48,139
Well, maybe it was a good idea
to come out here after all.
517
00:40:48,140 --> 00:40:50,419
I mention wanting a boyfriend,
518
00:40:50,420 --> 00:40:52,659
and you call me
empty-headed and sex-mad.
519
00:40:52,660 --> 00:40:54,979
But Leslie finds someone,
and he's a hero?
520
00:40:54,980 --> 00:40:58,819
Firstly, Margo, I am thrilled
that you are thinking for yourself
521
00:40:58,820 --> 00:41:01,259
and highlighting double standards.
Thank you.
522
00:41:01,260 --> 00:41:02,939
And secondly...
523
00:41:02,940 --> 00:41:05,379
don't you dare be so bloody rude
to your mother.
524
00:41:05,380 --> 00:41:07,880
Good, I'll find myself a man, then.
525
00:41:11,780 --> 00:41:13,979
Hello, Luga. Glad you're back.
526
00:41:13,980 --> 00:41:16,379
This short story is genius.
527
00:41:16,380 --> 00:41:18,880
Oh? Who wrote it?
Me.
528
00:41:29,860 --> 00:41:32,299
Look who I find walking home!
529
00:41:32,300 --> 00:41:34,059
Mum.
530
00:41:34,060 --> 00:41:37,739
Gerry, you have a spider, two
dormice, a tortoise and a family.
531
00:41:37,740 --> 00:41:39,659
You do not need a pelican.
532
00:41:39,660 --> 00:41:42,400
- Let it go.
- I will after I've studied it.
533
00:41:45,380 --> 00:41:47,499
It's not funny, Spiros.
534
00:41:47,500 --> 00:41:49,539
No, of course not.
535
00:41:49,540 --> 00:41:52,240
Come on, Gerry,
we'll make a zoo cage!
536
00:41:57,340 --> 00:41:59,739
Larry, we need
to talk about your writing.
537
00:41:59,740 --> 00:42:01,939
We'll deal with you
being a peeping Tom later.
538
00:42:01,940 --> 00:42:04,259
I'm sorry you don't like it,
but I refuse to let...
539
00:42:04,260 --> 00:42:06,760
No, it's brilliant.
540
00:42:07,300 --> 00:42:09,459
But why is the mother so horrible?
541
00:42:09,460 --> 00:42:11,339
Everything isn't about you.
542
00:42:11,340 --> 00:42:13,939
Oh, nothing is about me.
543
00:42:13,940 --> 00:42:17,859
My life is devoured by my children.
544
00:42:17,860 --> 00:42:23,480
In 21 years I haven't thought about
myself for five consecutive minutes.
545
00:42:24,420 --> 00:42:26,739
But it's good, isn't it?
546
00:42:26,740 --> 00:42:28,859
Did you like the ending?
547
00:42:28,860 --> 00:42:31,259
Yes, Larry, it's very good.
548
00:42:31,260 --> 00:42:33,979
You're going to make us very proud.
549
00:42:33,980 --> 00:42:36,520
In this family?
550
00:42:37,020 --> 00:42:41,920
You're going to make us
mildly pleased in a complicated way.
551
00:42:44,580 --> 00:42:47,080
Come and look at this.
552
00:42:50,180 --> 00:42:52,379
The rocks, just by the chapel.
553
00:42:52,380 --> 00:42:54,880
Oh!
554
00:42:56,500 --> 00:42:59,000
That's my girl.
555
00:42:59,580 --> 00:43:01,699
Hello!
556
00:43:01,700 --> 00:43:03,419
Mrs Durrell?
557
00:43:03,420 --> 00:43:07,280
Theodore Stephanides.
Delighted to finally meet you.
558
00:43:17,820 --> 00:43:20,659
I suspect you need
a cross-piece there.
559
00:43:20,660 --> 00:43:23,059
Here.
560
00:43:23,060 --> 00:43:26,680
I believe it's called
erm... a purlin.
561
00:43:27,060 --> 00:43:30,539
Leslie,
what's your new girlfriend's name?
562
00:43:30,540 --> 00:43:32,659
How do you know about her.
563
00:43:32,660 --> 00:43:35,760
I know everything, darling.
I'm your mother.
564
00:43:35,980 --> 00:43:38,139
She's called Alexia.
565
00:43:38,140 --> 00:43:40,179
It's the loveliest name.
566
00:43:40,180 --> 00:43:44,960
And if you ever want to type it,
you'll have to give Larry his X back.
567
00:43:47,060 --> 00:43:49,059
To koritsi mou,
568
00:43:49,060 --> 00:43:51,600
I Alexia einai...
569
00:43:53,180 --> 00:43:55,840
Leslie!
570
00:43:59,220 --> 00:44:01,459
Why are you so good to us, Spiros?
571
00:44:01,460 --> 00:44:03,499
We have no money.
We argue all the time.
572
00:44:03,500 --> 00:44:06,299
We have a word, philoxenia.
573
00:44:06,300 --> 00:44:08,579
It means "love to strangers".
574
00:44:08,580 --> 00:44:10,619
That is so sweet.
575
00:44:10,620 --> 00:44:13,099
And it's clear you need help.
576
00:44:13,100 --> 00:44:15,600
Sodding, bloody!
577
00:44:19,420 --> 00:44:22,680
Lugaretzia,
how do you say this in Greek?
578
00:44:41,540 --> 00:44:43,979
That is my revenge on you, Leslie.
579
00:44:43,980 --> 00:44:46,480
An X for an X.
580
00:44:49,100 --> 00:44:51,299
I just made them look less violent!
581
00:44:51,300 --> 00:44:53,379
Does anyone live here?
582
00:44:53,380 --> 00:44:55,880
Oh!
583
00:44:57,580 --> 00:45:00,080
Somebody died?
584
00:45:03,900 --> 00:45:06,579
My friends Donald and Max.
585
00:45:06,580 --> 00:45:08,819
I invited them over.
586
00:45:08,820 --> 00:45:09,939
Oh.
587
00:45:09,940 --> 00:45:13,080
Gosh, who's this?
588
00:45:20,260 --> 00:45:23,960
I went to the bank again today.
Still no sign of our money.
589
00:45:25,260 --> 00:45:27,259
We're going to have to get jobs,
aren't we?
590
00:45:27,260 --> 00:45:29,179
Why are they putting the table
in the sea?
591
00:45:29,180 --> 00:45:32,099
It was Leslie's idea.
He doesn't have many.
592
00:45:32,100 --> 00:45:33,699
How dare you!
593
00:45:33,700 --> 00:45:35,579
- Yia sas.
- You too.
594
00:45:35,580 --> 00:45:37,459
Leslie!
595
00:45:37,460 --> 00:45:38,939
It's my eldest boy.
596
00:45:38,940 --> 00:45:41,760
Please, help us.
43256
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