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1
00:00:01,868 --> 00:00:03,601
MAYBE WE SHOULD TAKE A BREAK,
SIR.
2
00:00:03,634 --> 00:00:05,567
WE'VE BEEN AT THIS FOR HOURS.
3
00:00:05,601 --> 00:00:09,133
CHARLIE, NO ONE EVER SAID
RUNNING THIS CITY WAS EASY.
4
00:00:09,167 --> 00:00:11,300
OKAY.
YOUR NEXT PIECE OF FAN MAIL
5
00:00:11,334 --> 00:00:13,033
COMES FROM BILLY KLUG, AGE 9.
6
00:00:13,067 --> 00:00:15,367
"DEAR MR. MAYOR,
I'M IN THE HOSPITAL.
7
00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:18,067
IF YOU SENT ME YOUR PHOTO,
IT WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY."
8
00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:20,467
HAND ME A PHOTO.
9
00:00:20,501 --> 00:00:22,334
I'M GONNA SIGN THIS ONE
PERSONALLY.
10
00:00:27,167 --> 00:00:30,334
THIS ONE IS FROM A 10th-GRADER
FROM PUBLIC SCHOOL 104.
11
00:00:30,367 --> 00:00:32,868
I JUST APPROVED A PAY RAISE
FOR THEIR TEACHERS.
12
00:00:32,901 --> 00:00:35,801
"MR. MAYOR,
I THINK YOU ARE MORE BETTER
13
00:00:35,834 --> 00:00:37,400
THAN OUR LAST MAYOR."
14
00:00:37,434 --> 00:00:40,133
CAN WE GET OUR MONEY BACK?
15
00:00:40,167 --> 00:00:43,300
OH, I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT,
STUART.
16
00:00:43,334 --> 00:00:44,567
"WINSTON...
17
00:00:44,601 --> 00:00:47,067
THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU,
YOU ARE A DEAD MAN."
18
00:00:47,100 --> 00:00:50,267
I SAID I WAS SORRY.
19
00:00:51,868 --> 00:00:53,367
IT SOUNDS LIKE
A DEATH THREAT.
20
00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:57,234
"I FIND YOUR TEMERITY
BEYOND REPROACH."
21
00:00:57,267 --> 00:00:58,467
WELL, WE KNOW ONE THING --
22
00:00:58,501 --> 00:01:00,634
THIS GUY DIDN'T GO
TO P.S. 104.
23
00:01:27,834 --> 00:01:29,601
YES, I'LL HOLD.
24
00:01:36,667 --> 00:01:37,934
DON'T MOVE.
25
00:01:37,968 --> 00:01:40,901
THERE'S SOMETHING ON THAT DESK.
26
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:42,234
BE NICE.
27
00:01:42,267 --> 00:01:44,200
I COULDN'T LEAVE RAGS
HOME TODAY.
28
00:01:44,234 --> 00:01:45,801
WE HAVE A RAT PROBLEM.
29
00:01:45,834 --> 00:01:48,567
YEAH, THEY KEEP TRYING
TO MATE WITH HIM.
30
00:01:49,968 --> 00:01:52,634
HIS HAIR
LOOKS A LITTLE LONGER.
31
00:01:52,667 --> 00:01:55,701
HAS HE BEEN DIPPING
IN YOUR ROGAINE?
32
00:01:55,734 --> 00:01:59,601
THESE ARE HAIR EXTENSIONS.
33
00:01:59,634 --> 00:02:02,234
READY FOR OUR MEETING
WITH THE BASEBALL GUY?
34
00:02:02,267 --> 00:02:04,734
YEP. REMEMBER,
WE JUST WANT THEM TO MOVE
35
00:02:04,767 --> 00:02:06,367
THEIR TEAM TO STATEN ISLAND,
36
00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:07,634
SO PLEASE DON'T START
37
00:02:07,667 --> 00:02:09,434
ONE OF YOUR BORING
BASEBALL LECTURES.
38
00:02:09,467 --> 00:02:12,601
SO THIS MORNING WHEN I EXPLAINED
HOW EXPANSION IS WATERING DOWN
39
00:02:12,634 --> 00:02:14,767
MAJOR LEAGUE PITCHING,
THAT WAS BORING?
40
00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:22,834
SORRY TO KEEP YOU WAITING,
MR. CLAREMONT.
41
00:02:22,868 --> 00:02:23,901
I'M CHARLIE CRAWFORD.
42
00:02:23,934 --> 00:02:25,367
CHARLIE CRAWFORD.
43
00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:26,934
YOU LOOK FAMILIAR.
44
00:02:26,968 --> 00:02:28,167
WERE YOU IN THE SERVICE?
45
00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:30,534
DOES COMMUNITY SERVICE COUNT?
46
00:02:32,567 --> 00:02:35,467
YOU PLAYED THIRD BASE
FOR WESTON HIGH SCHOOL.
47
00:02:35,501 --> 00:02:36,968
I WAS A SCOUT BACK THEN.
48
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:38,501
YOU GOT A GREAT MEMORY.
49
00:02:38,534 --> 00:02:41,501
YOU HAD SOME, UH, PRETTY GOOD
STATS YOUR SENIOR YEAR.
50
00:02:41,534 --> 00:02:45,234
DID I? BECAUSE FOR ME
IT WAS ALL ABOUT THE TEAM.
51
00:02:45,267 --> 00:02:49,400
THE FACT THAT I HIT .407
WITH 59 RBIs AND 12 DINGERS --
52
00:02:49,434 --> 00:02:51,033
THAT WAS JUST GRAVY.
53
00:02:51,067 --> 00:02:53,267
CHARLIE, LET'S FOCUS
ON WHAT'S IMPORTANT.
54
00:02:53,300 --> 00:02:54,334
YOU'RE RIGHT.
55
00:02:54,367 --> 00:02:56,834
I WAS ALSO A GREAT FIELDER.
56
00:02:56,868 --> 00:02:59,567
I'LL COME BACK.
57
00:03:01,567 --> 00:03:04,501
WELL, WE'D LIKE TO MOVE THE TEAM
AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
58
00:03:04,534 --> 00:03:06,767
IN FACT, WE HAVE
A TRYOUT GAME TOMORROW.
59
00:03:06,801 --> 00:03:08,100
CAN ANYONE TRY OUT
FOR THE TEAM?
60
00:03:08,133 --> 00:03:09,200
NOT ANYONE.
61
00:03:09,234 --> 00:03:10,601
YOU NEED TO
HAVE REALLY EXCELLED
62
00:03:10,634 --> 00:03:12,200
AT THE HIGH SCHOOL
AND COLLEGE LEVEL.
63
00:03:12,234 --> 00:03:15,667
LIKE SOMEONE
WHO WAS MVP AT WESTON HIGH
64
00:03:15,701 --> 00:03:17,400
THREE YEARS RUNNING?
65
00:03:17,434 --> 00:03:19,000
IF YOU'RE INTERESTED
IN THE TRYOUT,
66
00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:20,100
I CAN GET YOU IN THE GAME.
67
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:22,501
I DON'T KNOW.
68
00:03:22,534 --> 00:03:25,834
I'M A VERY BUSY MAN.
69
00:03:28,467 --> 00:03:30,868
I MIGHT BE ABLE TO CLEAR
SOME TIME IN THE AFTERNOON.
70
00:03:30,901 --> 00:03:32,100
THE GAME'S IN THE MORNING.
71
00:03:32,133 --> 00:03:34,467
PERFECT.
72
00:03:34,501 --> 00:03:37,200
REMEMBER THE PLAY I MADE
TO WIN THE CHAMPIONSHIP?
73
00:03:37,234 --> 00:03:39,634
IT WAS A HOT SMASH
DOWN THE THIRD-BASE LINE.
74
00:03:39,667 --> 00:03:42,467
I SNARED IT, CAME UP FIRING --
DO YOU REMEMBER THAT?
75
00:03:42,501 --> 00:03:43,634
GOOD GOD!
76
00:03:43,667 --> 00:03:45,133
THAT WAS SOME PLAY, HUH?
77
00:03:45,167 --> 00:03:47,634
NO, THERE'S A GIANT POSSUM
BEHIND US.
78
00:03:50,701 --> 00:03:52,234
[ CHUCKLES ]
79
00:03:52,267 --> 00:03:55,801
[ High-pitched voice ]
SORRY!
80
00:03:59,033 --> 00:04:00,934
WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT
TO KILL ME?
81
00:04:00,968 --> 00:04:04,133
PUBLIC FIGURES ARE
OFTEN TARGETED BY SOCIOPATHS.
82
00:04:04,167 --> 00:04:05,501
PLUS YOU'RE AN EASY MARK.
83
00:04:05,534 --> 00:04:07,200
ANY GUY WITH HALF A BRAIN
AND A RIFLE
84
00:04:07,234 --> 00:04:09,167
COULD POP YOUR HEAD OFF
LIKE A COCONUT.
85
00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,534
PAUL, LET'S SWITCH SEATS.
86
00:04:13,567 --> 00:04:16,400
MR. MAYOR, THIS IS MIKE VIOLA
FROM DOWNTOWN SECURITY.
87
00:04:16,434 --> 00:04:18,734
THANK YOU, ANGIE.
DOWNTOWN SECURITY?
88
00:04:18,767 --> 00:04:20,868
THE MAYOR HIRED US
TO PROTECT HIM.
89
00:04:20,901 --> 00:04:24,334
YOUR BODYGUARD WOULD TAKE
A BULLET FOR ME. TRUE?
90
00:04:24,367 --> 00:04:26,501
YES, SIR.
EXCELLENT.
91
00:04:27,334 --> 00:04:29,534
LESS EXCELLENT FOR YOU.
92
00:04:29,567 --> 00:04:31,501
NOW, OUR FIRST ORDER
OF BUSINESS
93
00:04:31,534 --> 00:04:33,467
IS TO ASSIGN YOU ALL
CODE NAMES.
94
00:04:33,501 --> 00:04:35,100
MR. MAYOR,
YOU'RE SILVER FOX.
95
00:04:35,133 --> 00:04:36,534
Nice.
96
00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:39,100
MR. BONDEK,
YOU'RE LONE WOLF.
97
00:04:39,133 --> 00:04:40,100
SWEET.
98
00:04:40,133 --> 00:04:41,567
WHAT'S MINE?
99
00:04:41,601 --> 00:04:43,868
YOUR CODE NAME IS FLAPJACK.
100
00:04:45,501 --> 00:04:50,100
FLAPJACK?! HOW COME THEY GET
COOL NAMES -- I GET FLAPJACK?!
101
00:04:50,133 --> 00:04:51,400
THEY'RE RANDOMLY ASSIGNED.
102
00:04:51,434 --> 00:04:54,634
ALL MY LIFE I'VE BEEN STUCK
WITH LOUSY NICKNAMES.
103
00:04:54,667 --> 00:04:57,334
IN HIGH SCHOOL
I WAS CALLED BUTTCAKE.
104
00:04:57,367 --> 00:05:00,567
PLEASE, I'M BEGGING YOU --
ANYTHING BUT FLAPJACK.
105
00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:01,801
VIOLA TO COMMAND CENTER.
106
00:05:01,834 --> 00:05:04,033
MR. LASSITER'S CODE NAME
IS NO LONGER FLAPJACK.
107
00:05:04,067 --> 00:05:05,868
THANK YOU
IT'S NOW BUTTCAKE.
108
00:05:08,434 --> 00:05:09,934
WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?
109
00:05:09,968 --> 00:05:11,634
I HAVE BEEN WAITING
FOR 45 MINUTES.
110
00:05:11,667 --> 00:05:14,000
I WAS DOWN IN ACCOUNTING.
111
00:05:16,067 --> 00:05:18,000
YOU KNOW THOSE BEAN COUNTERS.
112
00:05:18,033 --> 00:05:20,567
ALL THEY UNDERSTAND
IS BRUTE FORCE.
113
00:05:22,300 --> 00:05:24,067
I WAS AT THE BATTING CAGES.
114
00:05:24,100 --> 00:05:25,634
WELL, NOW THAT YOU'RE HERE,
115
00:05:25,667 --> 00:05:28,234
I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOME RESEARCH
THAT I DID ON THE STADIUM.
116
00:05:30,367 --> 00:05:33,968
I'VE GATHERED ALL THE FIGURES,
AND IF YOU LOOK AT THIS...
117
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,501
[ CROWD CHEERING ]
118
00:05:35,534 --> 00:05:38,100
I'M BOB COSTAS, AND, FOLKS,THIS IS IT --
119
00:05:38,133 --> 00:05:41,667
WORLD SERIES, GAME 7,ALL TIED UP, BOTTOM OF THE 9th.
120
00:05:41,701 --> 00:05:44,100
AT THE PLATE,CHARLIE CRAWFORD --
121
00:05:44,133 --> 00:05:46,767
ALL-STAR GAME MVP,GOLDEN GLOVE WINNER,
122
00:05:46,801 --> 00:05:50,467
AND OCCASIONAL BACKUP GUITARISTFOR THE ROLLING STONES.
123
00:05:52,234 --> 00:05:54,200
IT'S INTERESTING TO NOTE
124
00:05:54,234 --> 00:05:58,701
THAT CRAWFORD HAS DEDICATEDTHIS GAME TO HIS GIRLFRIENDS,
125
00:05:58,734 --> 00:06:01,734
ELLE MACPHERSONAND GWYNETH PALTROW.
126
00:06:01,767 --> 00:06:03,868
HERE'S THE PITCH.
127
00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:08,634
SWING AND A LONG DRIVE,WAY BACK AND GONE --
128
00:06:08,667 --> 00:06:09,834
A HOME RUN!
129
00:06:09,868 --> 00:06:12,434
CHARLIE CRAWFORDHAS WON THE WORLD SERIES
130
00:06:12,467 --> 00:06:14,634
FOR THE NEW YORK YANKEES.
131
00:06:14,667 --> 00:06:18,200
WHAT A FITTING ENDTO A STELLAR SEASON.
132
00:06:18,234 --> 00:06:20,734
YOU KNOW, A LOT OF EYEBROWSWERE RAISED
133
00:06:20,767 --> 00:06:22,133
WHEN THIS HANDSOME DEVIL
134
00:06:22,167 --> 00:06:25,501
BROKE THE BILLION-DOLLARSALARY MARK,
135
00:06:25,534 --> 00:06:27,601
BUT I SAYHE'S WORTH EVERY PENNY.
136
00:06:27,634 --> 00:06:29,300
YAH!
137
00:06:29,334 --> 00:06:30,901
HYAH!
138
00:06:30,934 --> 00:06:32,534
YAH!
139
00:06:32,567 --> 00:06:34,234
YAH!
140
00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:42,934
AAAAAAAH!
141
00:06:42,968 --> 00:06:44,200
HYAH!
142
00:06:44,234 --> 00:06:47,300
Crowd:
CHARLIE! CHARLIE! CHARLIE!
143
00:06:47,334 --> 00:06:49,000
CHARLIE...
144
00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:50,167
HYAH!
145
00:06:51,601 --> 00:06:55,501
YEAH, THAT'S THE BEST RESEARCH
I'VE EVER SEEN.
146
00:06:55,534 --> 00:06:58,767
FOCUS. WE HAVE THAT STADIUM
MEETING FIRST THING TOMORROW.
147
00:06:58,801 --> 00:07:01,100
OH, ABOUT THAT --
WOULD IT BE COOL IF I SKIPPED IT
148
00:07:01,133 --> 00:07:03,667
AND TRIED OUT FOR
A MINOR-LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM?
149
00:07:03,701 --> 00:07:04,901
SURE, FINE.
150
00:07:04,934 --> 00:07:06,033
WHY NOT?
151
00:07:06,067 --> 00:07:09,400
IN FACT, I'LL SKIP
THE MEETING, TOO,
152
00:07:09,434 --> 00:07:12,234
SO I CAN FLY TO L.A.
AND BECOME A LAKER GIRL.
153
00:07:12,267 --> 00:07:14,167
THIS IS IMPORTANT.
154
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,667
IS THIS SOME SORT
OF MIDLIFE CRISIS?
155
00:07:16,701 --> 00:07:19,267
WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GO BALD
AND BUY A PORSCHE
156
00:07:19,300 --> 00:07:20,801
LIKE NORMAL MEN?
157
00:07:20,834 --> 00:07:23,667
LOOK, GROWING UP,
I WAS THE BEST BALLPLAYER
158
00:07:23,701 --> 00:07:25,534
MY HIGH SCHOOL HAD EVER SEEN.
159
00:07:25,567 --> 00:07:28,267
DIDN'T YOU GO TO THE SAME SCHOOL
AS REGGIE JACKSON?
160
00:07:28,300 --> 00:07:31,767
HE DIDN'T HAVE MY FLAIR.
161
00:07:33,734 --> 00:07:36,601
ANYWAY, MY COACH
PULLED SOME STRINGS
162
00:07:36,634 --> 00:07:38,467
AND GOT ME A PRO TRYOUT.
163
00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:41,100
I WAS GONNA BLOW
EVERYBODY AWAY.
164
00:07:41,133 --> 00:07:43,100
BUT WHEN I GOT DOWN THERE,
165
00:07:43,133 --> 00:07:46,300
I COULDN'T BELIEVE
THE CALIBER OF TALENT.
166
00:07:46,334 --> 00:07:50,701
SO I LOST MY NERVE AND WALKED
STRAIGHT INTO THE NEAREST BAR.
167
00:07:50,734 --> 00:07:52,100
THAT'S TERRIBLE.
168
00:07:52,133 --> 00:07:55,100
NOT REALLY.
IT WAS NICKEL BEER NIGHT.
169
00:07:55,133 --> 00:07:56,968
I MEANT QUITTING.
170
00:07:57,000 --> 00:08:00,601
NOT A WEEK GOES BY
THAT I DON'T THINK, "WHAT IF."
171
00:08:00,634 --> 00:08:02,634
THAT'S WHY I HAVE TO DO THIS,
CAITLIN.
172
00:08:02,667 --> 00:08:04,267
I GOTTA PUT THIS BEHIND ME.
173
00:08:04,300 --> 00:08:07,100
I JUST WANNA GO OUT THERE
AND JUST GET ONE HIT.
174
00:08:07,133 --> 00:08:08,767
I UNDERSTAND.
175
00:08:08,801 --> 00:08:11,467
I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE
TO HAVE AN UNFULFILLED DREAM.
176
00:08:11,501 --> 00:08:13,133
LAKER GIRL?
177
00:08:13,167 --> 00:08:17,200
[ Voice breaking ] I HAD
MORE SPIRIT THAN THEY EVER KNEW.
178
00:08:21,033 --> 00:08:23,267
THE MAYOR'S APPROVAL RATING
IS UP
179
00:08:23,300 --> 00:08:24,567
WITH THE ELDERLY AND WOMEN.
180
00:08:24,601 --> 00:08:26,067
BUT IF YOU LOOK
AT THE NEXT CHART,
181
00:08:26,100 --> 00:08:28,067
ONE THING BECOMES OBVIOUS.
182
00:08:30,067 --> 00:08:32,868
IT'S OBVIOUS PAUL WAS THE LEAST
POPULAR GUY AT HEDONISM.
183
00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:36,834
ALL RIGHT, STUART...
184
00:08:36,868 --> 00:08:39,100
WHERE'D YOU GET THE PICTURE?
185
00:08:39,133 --> 00:08:40,667
HEY, IT'S NOT MY FAULT
186
00:08:40,701 --> 00:08:43,567
YOU LEFT YOUR VACATION SLIDES
LOCKED IN YOUR DESK.
187
00:08:43,601 --> 00:08:46,200
STUART, I'M VERY DISAPPOINTED
WITH YOU.
188
00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:48,200
THANK YOU, SIR.
189
00:08:48,234 --> 00:08:51,167
I WOULD RATHER HAVE SEEN THE ONE
OF PAUL'S HULA LESSON.
190
00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:54,133
SIR, GIVE ME SOME CREDIT.
191
00:08:56,534 --> 00:08:58,367
[ LAUGHS ]
192
00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:00,100
[ LAUGHS ]
193
00:09:00,133 --> 00:09:01,501
EXCUSE ME, STUART.
194
00:09:01,534 --> 00:09:04,300
I REFUSE TO STAY HERE
AND BE HUMILIATED.
195
00:09:06,667 --> 00:09:08,200
BUTTCAKE ON THE MOVE.
196
00:09:08,234 --> 00:09:11,234
MR. LASSITER, AFTER A SECURITY
REVIEW OF CITY HALL,
197
00:09:11,267 --> 00:09:13,801
WE DETERMINED
THAT BEING PRESS SECRETARY
198
00:09:13,834 --> 00:09:15,767
PUTS YOU
AT A VERY HIGH RISK.
199
00:09:15,801 --> 00:09:18,133
OH, GREAT -- LIKE MY DAY
HASN'T BEEN BAD ENOUGH.
200
00:09:18,167 --> 00:09:20,300
WE'VE DECIDED,
IF YOU WOULD LIKE,
201
00:09:20,334 --> 00:09:21,834
THAT WE WILL PROVIDE YOU
202
00:09:21,868 --> 00:09:24,267
WITH YOUR OWN
PERSONAL SECURITY GUARD.
203
00:09:24,300 --> 00:09:26,234
MY OWN
PERSONAL SECURITY GUARD
204
00:09:26,267 --> 00:09:28,968
THAT WOULD PROTECT ME
FROM ANYONE?
205
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,067
THAT'S CORRECT, SIR.
206
00:09:30,100 --> 00:09:34,334
YES, I THINK I'D LIKE THAT.
207
00:09:40,901 --> 00:09:44,033
HI. I'M TRYING TO FIND
A PITCHER NAMED CARSON.
208
00:09:44,067 --> 00:09:47,667
YEAH, HE'S IN THE LOCKER ROOM.
JUST LOOK FOR NUMBER 33.
209
00:09:47,701 --> 00:09:49,234
HI. UM...
210
00:09:49,267 --> 00:09:52,901
WHICH ONE OF YOU IS CARSON?
211
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,434
I MEAN THE REAL CARSON.
212
00:09:58,467 --> 00:09:59,467
I'M CARRYING HIS BABY.
213
00:10:05,534 --> 00:10:09,133
LOOK, IT'S NOT THAT
THE NIGHT WE SPENT TOGETHER
214
00:10:09,167 --> 00:10:10,567
WASN'T SPECIAL --
215
00:10:10,601 --> 00:10:12,667
I'M NOT PREGNANT.
216
00:10:12,701 --> 00:10:14,234
OH, THANK GOD.
217
00:10:14,267 --> 00:10:17,400
YOU'RE PITCHING TODAY, RIGHT?
218
00:10:17,434 --> 00:10:20,100
I NEED YOU TO TAKE IT EASY
ON ONE OF THE BATTERS.
219
00:10:20,133 --> 00:10:21,267
I DON'T DO THAT.
220
00:10:21,300 --> 00:10:23,234
YOU KNOW,
YOU'RE REALLY CUTE.
221
00:10:23,267 --> 00:10:24,834
WHO'S THE GUY?
222
00:10:32,100 --> 00:10:33,534
PAUL, DID YOU JUST KICK ME?
223
00:10:33,567 --> 00:10:35,167
WHY, YES, I DID.
224
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:36,634
WHO'S THIS GUY?
225
00:10:36,667 --> 00:10:39,834
VINCE IS MY NEW
PERSONAL SECURITY GUARD.
226
00:10:39,868 --> 00:10:44,200
HE'S A FORMER GREEN BERET
AND HAS A BLACK BELT IN KARATE.
227
00:10:46,534 --> 00:10:49,400
IS THERE A PROBLEM HERE,
MR. LASSITER?
228
00:10:49,434 --> 00:10:50,567
I'M NOT SURE.
229
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:53,801
IS THERE A PROBLEM, STUART?
230
00:10:53,834 --> 00:10:54,934
HEH HEH. NO.
231
00:10:54,968 --> 00:10:56,334
NO PROBLEM HERE --
232
00:10:56,367 --> 00:10:59,367
JUST TALKING WITH
MY GOOD BUDDY PAUL.
233
00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:00,501
VINCE...
234
00:11:00,534 --> 00:11:02,801
OW, OW,
OW, OW, OW, OW!
235
00:11:02,834 --> 00:11:04,400
OW! MAKE HIM STOP!
236
00:11:04,434 --> 00:11:06,501
THAT'S ENOUGH FOR NOW.
237
00:11:11,567 --> 00:11:13,634
[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]
238
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:23,434
HOW'D YOU GET THE PITCHER
TO AGREE
239
00:11:23,467 --> 00:11:24,968
TO TAKE IT EASY ON CHARLIE?
240
00:11:25,033 --> 00:11:28,000
I JUST PROMISED I'D ATTEND
HIS NEXT GAME...AND HIS PROM.
241
00:11:29,501 --> 00:11:31,434
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
HE'LL ACTUALLY DO IT?
242
00:11:32,868 --> 00:11:36,033
JUST A HUNCH.
243
00:11:53,067 --> 00:11:55,267
[ CROWD CHEERING ]
244
00:12:03,534 --> 00:12:05,400
WAY TO GO, CHARLIE!
245
00:12:05,434 --> 00:12:08,467
YOU THE MAN!
WHOO!
246
00:12:08,501 --> 00:12:10,901
OH, THIS IS FANTASTIC.
CHARLIE GOT HIS HIT.
247
00:12:10,934 --> 00:12:13,467
NOW HE CAN FORGET ABOUT BASEBALL
AND MOVE ON.
248
00:12:17,067 --> 00:12:20,501
HA HA HA!
I AM SO MAKING THIS TEAM!
249
00:12:20,534 --> 00:12:23,734
[ CHEERING ]
250
00:12:23,767 --> 00:12:26,567
SO, WHAT ARE YOU WEARING
TO THE PROM?
251
00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:34,400
HEY.
IT'S MY GOOD BUDDY CARTER
252
00:12:34,434 --> 00:12:35,767
AND HIS TRUSTY...
253
00:12:35,801 --> 00:12:39,300
ALL RIGHT,
WHAT IS THIS THING?
254
00:12:39,334 --> 00:12:42,133
RAGS IS A RARE,
PRIZEWINNING BREED.
255
00:12:42,167 --> 00:12:43,534
HE'S 1/2 SCHNAUZER,
256
00:12:43,567 --> 00:12:47,868
A 1/4 BICHON, 3/5 COCKAPOO,
1/5 SHIH TZU,
257
00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:50,033
AND 1/5...WOODCHUCK.
258
00:12:51,267 --> 00:12:52,868
YOU'RE IN A PRETTY GOOD MOOD.
259
00:12:52,901 --> 00:12:54,667
AND WHY SHOULDN'T I BE?
260
00:12:54,701 --> 00:12:58,634
AS OF TODAY, I AM A LEGITIMATE
MAJOR LEAGUE PROSPECT.
261
00:12:58,667 --> 00:13:00,534
CHARLIE,
IT WAS JUST ONE HOME RUN.
262
00:13:00,567 --> 00:13:02,367
ONE HOME RUN
OFF THEIR TOP DRAFT PICK.
263
00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:04,868
THAT GUY'S GONNA BE THROWING
FOR THE YANKEES NEXT YEAR.
264
00:13:04,901 --> 00:13:07,334
IF I DO WELL IN THE NEXT GAME,
WHO KNOWS?!
265
00:13:07,367 --> 00:13:09,133
I COULD MAKE THE TEAM.
266
00:13:09,167 --> 00:13:11,067
I LOVE THIS LITTLE GUY.
267
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:16,667
HERE. HE MIGHT NEED THIS.
268
00:13:20,067 --> 00:13:21,701
CAITLIN...
YOU GOTTA TELL CHARLIE
269
00:13:21,734 --> 00:13:23,400
THAT PITCHER
WASN'T REALLY TRYING.
270
00:13:23,434 --> 00:13:25,234
HE'S GETTING
COMPLETELY CARRIED AWAY.
271
00:13:25,267 --> 00:13:27,467
HOW DO YOU TELL A MAN
HIS DREAM IS OVER?
272
00:13:27,501 --> 00:13:29,567
IF MEMORY SERVES,
YOU TELL HIM,
273
00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:31,767
"YOU CAN'T SING,
YOU CAN'T DANCE,
274
00:13:31,801 --> 00:13:34,167
AND YOU LOOK LOUSY
IN THAT CAT SUIT."
275
00:13:38,300 --> 00:13:39,634
HEY, STUART...
276
00:13:39,667 --> 00:13:43,133
DID YOU FINISH PROOFREADING
MY PRESS RELEASE?
277
00:13:43,167 --> 00:13:44,334
YES.
278
00:13:44,367 --> 00:13:47,367
ALL RIGHT.
RUN DOWN TO RICHIE'S DELI --
279
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:49,434
PICK ME UP
A TUNA SALAD SANDWICH.
280
00:13:49,467 --> 00:13:53,934
OH, MAKE SURE YOU PICK OUT
ALL THE CELERY BITS.
281
00:13:53,968 --> 00:13:57,767
PAUL...ONE DAY
YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS.
282
00:13:57,801 --> 00:14:00,400
OH, I'M SHAKING IN MY SHOES --
283
00:14:00,434 --> 00:14:02,601
THE ONES YOU JUST SHINED.
284
00:14:02,634 --> 00:14:05,434
OH, HEY!
DID YOU GUYS HEAR THE NEWS?!
285
00:14:05,467 --> 00:14:07,067
IT TURNS OUT
THIS THREAT AGAINST ME
286
00:14:07,100 --> 00:14:09,033
WAS NOTHING BUT A PRANK
BY A COUPLE OF KIDS.
287
00:14:09,067 --> 00:14:10,567
CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?
288
00:14:10,601 --> 00:14:13,901
THE GOOD NEWS IS WE DON'T NEED
THE SECURITY ANY LONGER,
289
00:14:13,934 --> 00:14:15,601
SO THANKS, GUYS, VERY MUCH.
290
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,868
MR. MAYOR...
MR. MAYOR!
291
00:14:24,901 --> 00:14:28,167
MR. MAYOR, COULDN'T WE JUST KEEP
ON A FEW SECURITY GUARDS,
292
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:29,467
JUST FOR GOOD LUCK?
293
00:14:29,501 --> 00:14:32,300
THERE'S NO NEED AS LONG AS
I'M OUT OF DANGER, PAUL.
294
00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:39,534
"MR. MAYOR...
YOU WILL SOON BE DEAD
295
00:14:39,567 --> 00:14:42,868
BECAUSE I'M GOING TO CHOP
YOUR HEAD OFF."
296
00:14:48,234 --> 00:14:50,934
I AM A GENIUS.
297
00:14:55,901 --> 00:14:59,200
IF ANYONE'S CAR IS PARKED
BEHIND CENTER FIELD,
298
00:14:59,234 --> 00:15:01,334
YOU MIGHT WANT TO MOVE IT NOW.
299
00:15:02,968 --> 00:15:05,400
LOOKS LIKE CHARLIE'S
ON HIS OWN.
300
00:15:05,434 --> 00:15:07,434
COULDN'T MAKE ANOTHER DEAL
WITH THE PITCHER?
301
00:15:07,467 --> 00:15:08,767
HE'S BACK
WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND.
302
00:15:08,801 --> 00:15:10,334
ALL RIGHT, KID.
303
00:15:10,367 --> 00:15:12,968
THROW ME THAT WEAK-ASS...
STRIKE ONE!
304
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:16,234
[ Thinking ]
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
305
00:15:17,501 --> 00:15:19,868
OKAY.I GOT CAUGHT OFF GUARD.
306
00:15:19,901 --> 00:15:23,701
DIG IN...HEAD DOWN...WATCH IT.
307
00:15:23,734 --> 00:15:25,100
WATCH IT.
308
00:15:27,801 --> 00:15:28,934
STRIKE TWO!
309
00:15:30,434 --> 00:15:33,634
HE WASN'T THROWING THIS HARD
YESTERDAY.
310
00:15:33,667 --> 00:15:35,200
YOUR HOT FRIEND
TOLD HIM NOT TO.
311
00:15:35,234 --> 00:15:36,667
WHAT?
312
00:15:36,701 --> 00:15:38,200
SHE SAID SHE'D GO
ON A DATE WITH HIM
313
00:15:38,234 --> 00:15:39,934
IF HE SERVED YOU
A COUPLE MEATBALLS.
314
00:15:39,968 --> 00:15:42,400
I'M GONNA STRIKE OUT LIKE PAULAT A NIGHTCLUB.
315
00:15:42,434 --> 00:15:44,334
YOU PLAYED THIS GAMEFOR 20 YEARS.
316
00:15:44,367 --> 00:15:45,834
YOU KNOW HOW TO GET ON BASE.
317
00:15:49,033 --> 00:15:52,067
DEAD BALL!
TAKE YOUR BASE!
318
00:15:53,701 --> 00:15:56,667
OH, MAN, THAT HURT.
319
00:15:56,701 --> 00:16:00,334
I STILL HAVETHREE MORE AT-BATS.
320
00:16:00,367 --> 00:16:03,267
HEY, STUART.
WHAT YOU EATING?
321
00:16:03,300 --> 00:16:05,701
CORNED BEEF ON RYE.
322
00:16:05,734 --> 00:16:10,868
HMM. LOOKS GOOD.
323
00:16:10,901 --> 00:16:14,534
YOU REALIZE YOUR THUG ISN'T HERE
TO PROTECT YOU ANYMORE.
324
00:16:21,434 --> 00:16:23,968
ANGIE, CALL AN AMBULANCE.
325
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,968
TELL THEM SOMEONE GOT THROWN OUT
A WINDOW TWO MINUTES FROM NOW.
326
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,634
HEY, HAVE YOU HEARD?!
327
00:16:28,667 --> 00:16:31,367
I GOT
ANOTHER THREATENING LETTER.
328
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:33,801
SIR, THAT'S TERRIBLE.
329
00:16:33,834 --> 00:16:36,133
Welcome back, Vince.
330
00:16:36,167 --> 00:16:38,067
DOES THIS LOOK FAMILIAR,
MR. LASSITER?
331
00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:40,501
NO, NO, NOT REALLY.
332
00:16:41,868 --> 00:16:44,534
LOOK WHAT WE FOUND
ON THE LETTER, SIR.
333
00:16:47,067 --> 00:16:48,901
I HATE TO SAY THIS, PAUL,
334
00:16:48,934 --> 00:16:52,534
BUT YOUR WANTING TO KILL ME
MAY COLOR MY JUDGMENT
335
00:16:52,567 --> 00:16:53,834
COME BONUS TIME.
336
00:16:53,868 --> 00:16:54,834
SIR, I'M SORRY.
337
00:16:54,868 --> 00:16:57,067
I NEVER MEANT
TO CHOP YOUR HEAD OFF.
338
00:16:57,100 --> 00:17:00,300
IT'S JUST THAT STUART'S BEEN
PICKING ON ME A LOT LATELY,
339
00:17:00,334 --> 00:17:03,634
AND HAVING A SECURITY GUARD
ALLOWED ME TO STAND UP TO HIM.
340
00:17:03,667 --> 00:17:06,868
YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS
IN THE 10th GRADE,
341
00:17:06,901 --> 00:17:10,601
THERE WAS A BULLY
WHO WOULDN'T LEAVE ME ALONE.
342
00:17:10,634 --> 00:17:14,100
FOR SIX MONTHS
I LIVED IN FEAR OF THIS GUY,
343
00:17:14,133 --> 00:17:18,033
AND THEN ONE DAY I MUSTERED UP
ALL OF MY COURAGE,
344
00:17:18,067 --> 00:17:20,267
AND I PUT AN END TO IT.
HOW?
345
00:17:20,300 --> 00:17:23,467
I HAD MY DAD BUY HIM
A NEW PAIR OF SKIS.
346
00:17:25,734 --> 00:17:28,167
IN HINDSIGHT,
I WISH I HADN'T.
347
00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:31,200
I WISH I HAD LOOKED HIM
STRAIGHT IN THE EYE
348
00:17:31,234 --> 00:17:32,501
AND SAID...
349
00:17:32,534 --> 00:17:35,367
"I HAVE ONE THING
TO SAY TO YOU --
350
00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:39,501
I WILL NOT...BE...
PUSHED...AROUND."
351
00:17:39,534 --> 00:17:40,534
THANK YOU, SIR.
352
00:17:40,567 --> 00:17:42,601
THAT'S JUST
WHAT I NEEDED TO HEAR.
353
00:17:42,634 --> 00:17:45,601
THAT'S MY BOY.
GO GET 'EM!
354
00:17:49,133 --> 00:17:53,400
STUART, I'VE GOT ONE THING
TO SAY TO YOU --
355
00:17:53,434 --> 00:17:56,601
WHAT KIND OF SKIS
DO YOU LIKE?
356
00:18:02,167 --> 00:18:03,801
SO, HOW YOU DOING?
357
00:18:03,834 --> 00:18:06,033
HOW DO YOU THINK I'M DOING?
358
00:18:06,067 --> 00:18:08,367
I GOT HIT BY A PITCH,
MADE THREE ERRORS,
359
00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:09,868
AND THE CROWD IS BOOING ME.
360
00:18:09,901 --> 00:18:12,968
THEY'RE NOT BOOING YOU,
CHARLIE.
361
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:16,834
THEY'RE SAYING,
"CHARLIE-E-E-E-O-O-O-OOH!"
362
00:18:16,868 --> 00:18:20,033
I THINK I DID HEAR
ONE GUY BOOING.
363
00:18:20,067 --> 00:18:22,300
I'M GONNA GO TALK TO HIM.
364
00:18:22,334 --> 00:18:24,467
LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE.
365
00:18:24,501 --> 00:18:28,300
AT LEAST YOU GOT
THAT GREAT HIT YESTERDAY.
366
00:18:28,334 --> 00:18:29,501
NOT REALLY.
367
00:18:29,534 --> 00:18:31,234
I KNOW ABOUT YOU
AND THAT PITCHER.
368
00:18:31,267 --> 00:18:33,901
FIRST HE BLOWS ME OFF
FOR THE PROM,
369
00:18:33,934 --> 00:18:35,634
AND NOW HE TELLS ON ME?!
370
00:18:35,667 --> 00:18:37,033
THANKS A LOT, CAITLIN.
371
00:18:37,067 --> 00:18:38,534
YOU MADE ME LOOK
LIKE A REAL IDIOT.
372
00:18:38,567 --> 00:18:40,300
I WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU.
373
00:18:40,334 --> 00:18:42,634
I KNEW HOW IMPORTANT
THIS WAS TO YOU,
374
00:18:42,667 --> 00:18:45,100
AND I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO BE
DISAPPOINTED.
375
00:18:45,133 --> 00:18:47,734
WELL, I'VE HAD
ENOUGH HUMILIATION FOR ONE DAY.
376
00:18:47,767 --> 00:18:49,067
I'M GETTING OUTTA HERE.
377
00:18:49,100 --> 00:18:50,834
SO YOU'RE JUST GONNA WALK
AWAY?
378
00:18:50,868 --> 00:18:52,934
ACTUALLY, I COULD USE A RIDE.
379
00:18:52,968 --> 00:18:55,934
MAYBE YOU CAN GO FLASH
A CABBY FOR ME.
380
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,801
CHARLIE, YOU CAN'T LEAVE.
381
00:18:57,834 --> 00:19:00,934
YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF
TO FINISH THE GAME.
382
00:19:00,968 --> 00:19:02,434
BECAUSE IF I DON'T,
383
00:19:02,467 --> 00:19:05,601
I'LL BE QUITTING LIKE I DID
IN HIGH SCHOOL, RIGHT?
384
00:19:05,634 --> 00:19:08,767
NO, BECAUSE I DON'T WANT
TO HEAR YOU WHINING,
385
00:19:08,801 --> 00:19:11,400
"IF ONLY I HAD TAKEN
THAT LAST AT-BAT.
386
00:19:11,434 --> 00:19:12,767
WAH-HAH, BOO-HOO."
387
00:19:12,801 --> 00:19:16,000
THAT'S LESS INSPIRING.
388
00:19:16,033 --> 00:19:18,033
ALL YOU WANTED WAS ONE HIT,
RIGHT?
389
00:19:18,067 --> 00:19:20,601
YEAH.
390
00:19:20,634 --> 00:19:22,200
SO GO DO IT.
391
00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:29,434
YOU WANT IT IN THE THIGH
OR THE CHEST?
392
00:19:34,634 --> 00:19:38,300
[ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS ]
393
00:20:13,467 --> 00:20:14,734
SAFE!
394
00:20:14,767 --> 00:20:16,000
[ CHEERING ]
395
00:20:16,033 --> 00:20:17,334
HA HA! YES!
396
00:20:17,367 --> 00:20:18,801
HA HA HA HA!
397
00:20:18,834 --> 00:20:21,601
YOU'RE OUTTA THERE!
GAME OVER!
398
00:20:23,934 --> 00:20:25,701
[ BOOING ]
399
00:20:28,234 --> 00:20:32,033
CONGRATULATIONS.
400
00:20:32,067 --> 00:20:33,601
YOU GOT YOUR HIT.
401
00:20:33,634 --> 00:20:35,434
YEAH. I GUESS I DID.
402
00:20:35,467 --> 00:20:36,968
ARE YOU READY TO GO?
403
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:39,667
NO, YOU GUYS GO AHEAD.
I'M GONNA GRAB MY GEAR.
404
00:20:47,834 --> 00:20:49,968
NUMBER 79...
405
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,667
THIRD BASEMAN...
406
00:20:52,701 --> 00:20:55,501
CHARLIE CRAWFORD.
407
00:20:55,534 --> 00:20:58,567
[ CROWD CHEERING ]
408
00:21:04,601 --> 00:21:08,100
SO CHARLIE GOT TO LIVE OUT
HIS FANTASY.
409
00:21:08,133 --> 00:21:10,033
HEY, YOU THINK DOGS
HAVE FANTASIES?
410
00:21:10,067 --> 00:21:11,067
I DON'T KNOW.
411
00:21:11,100 --> 00:21:12,934
DO YOU HAVE A FANTASY, BOY?
412
00:21:12,968 --> 00:21:14,501
DO YOU HAVE A FANTASY?
413
00:21:14,534 --> 00:21:16,133
OH, THAT'S A GOOD BOY.
414
00:21:16,167 --> 00:21:18,767
YOU'RE JUST THE BEST BOY,
AREN'T YOU?
415
00:21:18,801 --> 00:21:21,067
WHO IS THE MOST HANDSOME DOGIN THE ENTIRE WORLD?
416
00:21:21,100 --> 00:21:23,234
WHO IS HE?IS THAT YOU?
417
00:21:23,267 --> 00:21:25,434
IS THAT YOU, MY LITTLE BABY?
418
00:21:25,467 --> 00:21:29,601
OH, YES, YOU AREMY LITTLE BABY.
419
00:21:29,634 --> 00:21:32,100
- [MAN] SIT, UBU, SIT. GOOD DOG.
-[UBU BARKS]
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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