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1
00:00:00,634 --> 00:00:02,136
- Guess who just got
her first place!
2
00:00:03,437 --> 00:00:06,107
- Me! Although you can't really
call a tiger a place,
3
00:00:06,174 --> 00:00:08,342
and also it's not my first one.
4
00:00:08,409 --> 00:00:10,178
- Are you finished?
- Fine.
5
00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:12,146
Tell us more
about your dumb thing.
6
00:00:12,213 --> 00:00:14,515
- My thing is not dumb.
7
00:00:14,582 --> 00:00:17,785
I just finished moving my stuff
into my new condo!
8
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:19,287
- What?
- Congratulations.
9
00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:20,888
- When do we get to see it?
- Soon,
10
00:00:20,954 --> 00:00:25,593
because you're all invited
to my housewarming.
11
00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:29,063
- Well, I will be there.
12
00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:31,199
Unless it's within 100 yards
of a petting zoo.
13
00:00:31,265 --> 00:00:32,633
- Do I even want to kn--
14
00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:35,203
- It's exactly
what you think it is.
15
00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:36,870
- Well, no excuses,
16
00:00:36,937 --> 00:00:38,272
because it's super close.
17
00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:39,707
In fact,
you can see it from here.
18
00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:41,242
Come on.
19
00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:46,447
It's right there.
The tall black building.
20
00:00:46,514 --> 00:00:49,183
Right where that weird thing
is flying.
21
00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:50,951
- The thing that's
shooting space rays?
22
00:00:51,018 --> 00:00:52,553
- Yeah.
23
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:56,257
- Ooh, that's why I rent.
24
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:35,095
- Sources say a wormhole has
opened up somewhere on Earth
25
00:01:35,163 --> 00:01:38,199
and released a fleet
of mysterious alien ships.
26
00:01:38,266 --> 00:01:40,268
President Luthor, who was
golfing at the Mar-A-Luthor,
27
00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:42,136
responded in a Tweet:
28
00:01:42,203 --> 00:01:45,706
"SPACE WALL WILL BE BUILT,
AND ALIENS WILL PAY FOR IT."
29
00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:49,076
- How did we elect a president
who tweets in all caps?
30
00:01:49,143 --> 00:01:50,544
- Who cares? I got a tax cut.
31
00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:52,680
And I can dump whatever I want
into the river.
32
00:01:54,182 --> 00:01:56,417
Oh, my God.
Wayne Headquarters has been hit.
33
00:01:56,484 --> 00:01:58,719
I hope there weren't
any casualties--
34
00:01:58,786 --> 00:01:59,987
Bob Lackey's dead!
35
00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:01,189
Yes!
36
00:02:01,255 --> 00:02:02,523
So tragic.
37
00:02:02,590 --> 00:02:05,092
He leaves behind a wife
and two kids,
38
00:02:05,159 --> 00:02:07,328
and a seat on Wayne Industries'
board.
39
00:02:07,395 --> 00:02:10,431
This is my chance!
40
00:02:10,498 --> 00:02:14,067
- My insurance won't cover
any of the damage to my condo.
41
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,736
- Wait, you didn't get
alien insurance?
42
00:02:15,803 --> 00:02:17,605
- It turns out the aliens
are from the future,
43
00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:20,208
so they're saying technically
it hasn't happened yet.
44
00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:22,243
- Well, that's hard to argue.
- Same thing happened to me.
45
00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:26,980
- I put all my savings
into that condo.
46
00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:28,649
I just lost everything.
47
00:02:28,716 --> 00:02:30,884
- All of your things fit
into one condo?
48
00:02:30,951 --> 00:02:32,520
Now I'm sad.
49
00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:35,223
Oh, I should use this
and call Bob Lackey's wife
50
00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:36,990
before it wears off.
51
00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:39,460
Karen, I just heard.
52
00:02:39,527 --> 00:02:42,463
Oh, yes, it's sad.
Can't you tell by my voice?
53
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,172
Oh, boy.
54
00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:56,109
Door's stuck.
Just enter through the hole.
55
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,346
- Easy.
- Careful.
56
00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:01,782
- I like the open floor plan.
57
00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:04,385
- Yeah. There's so much
natural light.
58
00:03:04,452 --> 00:03:07,388
- Yeah. A lot of that's
the explosion.
59
00:03:07,455 --> 00:03:10,424
All I have left is
one decorative throw pillow
60
00:03:10,491 --> 00:03:12,159
and my robot vacuum...
61
00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:20,568
Which just committed suicide.
62
00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:24,272
- Well, before you get
any ideas,
63
00:03:24,338 --> 00:03:26,206
um, we got a little surprise
for you.
64
00:03:26,274 --> 00:03:28,342
- Yeah. We made you
a care package.
65
00:03:28,409 --> 00:03:29,977
I brought you some clothes.
66
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:32,546
- Aw, Wendy.
67
00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:36,116
Oh! These are very...
cats.
68
00:03:36,183 --> 00:03:37,685
- I love that sweater.
69
00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:39,487
- And I found you some
apartments on Craigslist.
70
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,255
Oh, and there's even one
for free if you're willing
71
00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:43,090
to let someone massage your feet
while you eat.
72
00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:44,925
- Oh, there's got to be a catch.
73
00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:46,827
- Aww, you guys are so sweet.
74
00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:48,762
I thought this condo was
the symbol
75
00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:53,133
of everything I worked
for this year, but I was wrong.
76
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:54,402
It's you guys.
77
00:03:54,468 --> 00:03:56,169
Oh, no!
78
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:59,440
The petting zoo people know that
I violated my restraining order!
79
00:03:59,507 --> 00:04:03,377
I took a chance coming here!
Ugh!
80
00:04:04,678 --> 00:04:06,213
- Just let go of the pretzel.
81
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:08,582
- Yeah, but then
I won't have a pretzel.
82
00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:11,184
Who designed this abattoir?
83
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,587
Oh, my God.
You're Dean West,
84
00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:15,589
the chairman
of Wayne Industries.
85
00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:17,190
Hi. I--
86
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,192
- May I?
87
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,794
- Oh.
88
00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:23,196
- I've come from Gotham.
I have something important
89
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,098
to talk to you about.
90
00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:28,402
- Yes. Um, right this way.
91
00:04:30,504 --> 00:04:32,172
Oh, my God, it's happening.
92
00:04:32,239 --> 00:04:34,308
I'm finally getting
my promotion.
93
00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:40,981
- Wendy, thank you for
letting me borrow this dress.
94
00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:43,617
- That's a sweater,
and you know it's a sweater.
95
00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:45,419
Why would I own a cat dress?
96
00:04:45,486 --> 00:04:48,121
- Emily, Van wants to see you
in his office.
97
00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:49,823
- Great.
98
00:04:51,492 --> 00:04:55,062
- Emily, uh,
this is Chairman West.
99
00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:59,733
- Nice to meet you, cat woman.
100
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:03,136
- Oh, this is a loaner.
Aliens blew up my condo.
101
00:05:03,203 --> 00:05:04,472
- Heh. Yeah.
102
00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:06,674
You got the promotion?
103
00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:11,244
- Ms. Locke, because of the
dastardly attack on Gotham,
104
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,447
we're gonna have
to make some cuts.
105
00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:15,983
- He wants you to fire
one of your department heads.
106
00:05:17,585 --> 00:05:19,387
- But that's Wendy, Teddy,
and Ron.
107
00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:22,322
Oh, we are inseparable.
108
00:05:23,891 --> 00:05:26,394
- So this was the only reason
that you came from Gotham?
109
00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:29,062
Was there any other
board-related reason?
110
00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:30,598
- Nope. That's it.
111
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:34,502
I admit, it's a bit
of a gratuitous cameo.
112
00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:42,910
- The aliens, known as the
Blight, continue their path
113
00:05:44,445 --> 00:05:46,146
of destruction as the Justice
League hunts for the wormhole
114
00:05:46,213 --> 00:05:47,615
that unleashed these creatures.
115
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,117
But first, the story of Mubu,
116
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,185
the dyslexic panda
who makes jewelry!
117
00:05:52,252 --> 00:05:53,621
Aww!
118
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,322
- What am I supposed to do?
119
00:05:55,389 --> 00:05:58,091
Go up to the people
I've spent a year bonding with,
120
00:05:58,158 --> 00:06:00,293
who have literally given me
the shirt off their back,
121
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,795
and say, "You're fired"?
122
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:04,598
- That is exactly what you do.
This is business.
123
00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:06,166
- I'm gonna find another way
around this.
124
00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:08,769
- Do you even listen to me
when we have these talks?
125
00:06:08,836 --> 00:06:10,438
- Exactly.
126
00:06:15,543 --> 00:06:17,210
- Van, I--
127
00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:20,414
- Are you wearing shorts
and Ugg boots?
128
00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:22,182
- Yeah, I am.
129
00:06:22,249 --> 00:06:23,617
They gave away my spot
on the board
130
00:06:23,684 --> 00:06:25,453
to Bob Lackey's weepy wife.
131
00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:27,220
My life is over.
132
00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:30,057
- And, you know, not in the same
way that Bob Lackey's is,
133
00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:32,926
but it is equally as tragic.
134
00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:35,763
- Don't you have, like,
$100 million?
135
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:38,599
- Yeah. But what's that worth?
136
00:06:38,666 --> 00:06:41,101
- Okay. Well, the good news is,
137
00:06:41,168 --> 00:06:43,103
I found tons of budget cuts,
138
00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:44,472
and we can meet Mr. West's goals
139
00:06:44,538 --> 00:06:46,607
without firing anyone.
140
00:06:46,674 --> 00:06:48,776
Please don't eat--
okay.
141
00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:50,511
- You know, Emily,
they tell you
142
00:06:50,578 --> 00:06:53,481
that if you're rich
and you know the right people,
143
00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:56,550
that you'll go far in life,
but it is a lie!
144
00:06:56,617 --> 00:06:58,452
The only thing people care about
is hard work
145
00:06:58,519 --> 00:07:00,087
and if you have talent.
146
00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:02,389
The system's broken!
147
00:07:02,456 --> 00:07:03,824
Don't look at me.
148
00:07:03,891 --> 00:07:05,626
- Okay, well,
if it's cool with you,
149
00:07:05,693 --> 00:07:07,495
I am just going
to take your hand right now
150
00:07:07,561 --> 00:07:10,330
and sign this budget.
151
00:07:10,397 --> 00:07:13,100
There you go. Good job.
152
00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:15,035
- Hello, beautiful.
153
00:07:16,203 --> 00:07:17,771
- That one.
- Yes.
154
00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:19,973
- All right.
I've got chemicals,
155
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:21,942
and I'm about to have
electricity.
156
00:07:22,009 --> 00:07:23,677
I'm gonna be the next Flash.
157
00:07:23,744 --> 00:07:24,678
- Nerd.
- Mm-hmm.
158
00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:29,850
- Ooh, okay.
- Oh! It burns!
159
00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:31,184
- Look at those legs.
- Where's he--where's he going?
160
00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:34,922
Look at these fools. I mean,
what's with the chemicals?
161
00:07:34,988 --> 00:07:36,423
Everyone knows
The Flash got his powers
162
00:07:36,490 --> 00:07:37,791
from a radioactive cheetah.
163
00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:39,627
- Well, actually,
the science holds up.
164
00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:41,194
But if you want super-speed,
you're gonna need
165
00:07:41,261 --> 00:07:44,131
a way higher voltage
and much stronger chemicals.
166
00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:46,099
- Is that true?
167
00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:50,470
- Well, yeah, in theory.
168
00:07:50,538 --> 00:07:51,805
- You should try it, Van.
169
00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:53,641
Imagine the power.
I can videotape it.
170
00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:55,876
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
That's a bad idea.
171
00:07:55,943 --> 00:07:58,445
- Sure. Who gives a?
172
00:07:58,512 --> 00:08:00,848
- All right, you're gonna
take this metal pole
173
00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:02,382
and touch it to the electricity
174
00:08:02,449 --> 00:08:04,117
right as Teddy
tosses in the chemicals.
175
00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:06,053
- Oh, also, if you pass out,
just try to land on your back.
176
00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:07,921
I want people to see
my podcast T-shirt.
177
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,356
- Right.
178
00:08:09,422 --> 00:08:11,692
- You know,
as a fellow human being,
179
00:08:11,759 --> 00:08:14,327
I have to tell you
this is greatly dangerous.
180
00:08:14,394 --> 00:08:19,567
- I used to think that the name
Wayne was my superpower,
181
00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:22,202
but it obviously means nothing.
182
00:08:22,269 --> 00:08:23,971
But if I had actual superpowers,
183
00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:26,073
then I could show all of those
people who laughed at me,
184
00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:27,407
and then they'd see.
185
00:08:27,474 --> 00:08:29,442
Then they would all see!
186
00:08:32,780 --> 00:08:34,848
- Are we about to create
a super villain?
187
00:08:34,915 --> 00:08:36,016
- Eh.
188
00:08:38,385 --> 00:08:40,487
It's show time!
189
00:08:40,554 --> 00:08:44,792
Aah!
190
00:08:55,435 --> 00:08:57,404
Well, I do feel different.
191
00:08:57,470 --> 00:09:01,274
Are you
192
00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:06,413
okay?
193
00:09:06,479 --> 00:09:08,115
- Yeah.
194
00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:09,316
I'm fine.
195
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:15,723
He's so fast!
196
00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:17,290
- Oh, my God! It worked!
197
00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:19,259
It worked! Ooh!
198
00:09:19,326 --> 00:09:23,130
Look at me!
Oh, you can't look at me,
199
00:09:23,196 --> 00:09:24,698
'cause I'm too fast!
200
00:09:24,765 --> 00:09:27,200
Am I over here? Am I over here?
Where am I?
201
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:29,737
Oh, my God! Oh! Whoo!
202
00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:32,773
How'd that happen?
203
00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:35,709
Bow before my speed!
204
00:09:35,776 --> 00:09:37,477
Whoo-hoo!
205
00:09:37,544 --> 00:09:39,379
- What the hell are you doing?
206
00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:41,749
- Oh, you got super-speed too?
207
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:48,421
- Here. Teddy Talks podcast.
208
00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:50,057
Give us five stars on iTunes.
209
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:51,291
- Subscribe!
210
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,728
- That was super fun, man.
211
00:09:57,631 --> 00:10:00,801
- Chairman West!
Uh, did you get my budget?
212
00:10:00,868 --> 00:10:02,936
- Yes. It was quite impressive.
213
00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:06,674
We had no idea this division
could be so profitable.
214
00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:10,343
- So, are you here to tell me I
don't have to let go of anybody?
215
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:11,845
- Not exactly.
216
00:10:11,912 --> 00:10:14,181
- Wait, they're selling the
division to LexCorp?
217
00:10:14,247 --> 00:10:16,049
- You're selling us
to our rival!
218
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,652
- See, Emily?
That's how you fire someone.
219
00:10:18,719 --> 00:10:20,721
- Thanks, Jackie.
But why?
220
00:10:20,788 --> 00:10:23,256
I showed you how profitable
we could be.
221
00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:26,193
- Exactly. That's why
the sale went through.
222
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:28,095
- Apparently they've been
looking for a buyer
223
00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:30,964
over the last year,
and the numbers didn't work out
224
00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:32,700
until you came along.
225
00:10:32,766 --> 00:10:36,870
- But what's gonna happen
to our jobs?
226
00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:40,741
- Will this ragtag band
of plucky performers
227
00:10:40,808 --> 00:10:43,176
keep their precious positions?
228
00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:46,413
Or, will they be thrown
to the wolves?
229
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,716
Find out next week!
230
00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:52,152
- What's next week?
231
00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:02,996
- Look. They're calling us
into LexCorp tomorrow.
232
00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:05,498
They wouldn't do that
just to fire us.
233
00:11:05,565 --> 00:11:08,135
- Yeah, she's right, you know?
We have a unique skill set.
234
00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:09,236
We're irreplaceable.
235
00:11:09,302 --> 00:11:12,605
- Guys, the LexCorp R&D team
is here.
236
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:15,542
They wanted to say hello.
237
00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:18,545
- Hi. I'm Emma. This is our
chief design officer, Freddie,
238
00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:20,013
our head engineer, Don,
239
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:23,083
and Wanda,
our lead software engineer.
240
00:11:23,150 --> 00:11:25,452
- If a parole officer
named Sam Clarke asks,
241
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:27,054
I wasn't in Charm City.
242
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,289
- Your parole officer
is Sam too?
243
00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:30,623
Freaky.
244
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:33,927
So nice to meet you.
245
00:11:37,564 --> 00:11:40,133
- So, we're not unique,
and we're all getting fired.
246
00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:44,537
- You know,
none of this would've happened
247
00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:46,606
if I had just fired one of them.
248
00:11:46,673 --> 00:11:49,176
- Well, it's a tough decision
to make.
249
00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:51,779
It was gonna be Wendy.
250
00:11:51,845 --> 00:11:54,414
- Well, we might all be
losing our jobs,
251
00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:57,417
but it doesn't mean
we won't still see each other.
252
00:11:57,484 --> 00:11:59,319
I mean, we're family.
253
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:01,488
- Oh, honey,
254
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:02,956
we're not family.
255
00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:04,792
We're all work buddies.
256
00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:06,493
Sure, we'll say we're gonna
keep in touch,
257
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:09,329
but we're not gonna see
each other until one of us dies.
258
00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:11,999
Which is gonna be Wendy.
259
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,638
- You know what?
You're wrong.
260
00:12:18,705 --> 00:12:21,008
This is a bond for life.
261
00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:26,246
- See you at Wendy's funeral.
262
00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:31,418
Idiots.
263
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:39,192
- Guys, this place is perfect.
264
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:42,229
- It's a shame we're only here
to get fired.
265
00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:45,198
What? Ha-ha! Oh!
266
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:47,700
The only thing I didn't like
about nachos was
267
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,236
having to go get them.
268
00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:52,339
But they solved it.
They really solved it!
269
00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:57,110
- I don't know about you,
but I'm making a play to stay.
270
00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:59,112
- Oh, my God, Van,
did you shave your head
271
00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:00,981
just to suck up to Lex Luthor?
272
00:13:01,048 --> 00:13:04,417
- Emily, this is
a fresh start for me.
273
00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:07,487
All right? I got a new ass
to kiss, a new nose to brown.
274
00:13:07,554 --> 00:13:08,989
If anyone asks,
275
00:13:09,056 --> 00:13:10,690
I have always been bald.
276
00:13:10,757 --> 00:13:12,792
Hey, guys!
277
00:13:12,860 --> 00:13:15,395
Welcome to LexCorp!
278
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,264
Yeah! All right,
279
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:19,266
I see you already
dipped into some nachos.
280
00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:22,135
our queso is actually made
281
00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:23,703
from a nutritional yeast,
282
00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:25,638
which means no calories!
283
00:13:25,705 --> 00:13:26,974
- Wow!
- Oh!
284
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:28,175
- Yeah, yeah,
this place is great.
285
00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:29,943
Just put us out of our misery.
286
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:32,779
- Are you experiencing misery?
Because we actually have
287
00:13:32,846 --> 00:13:34,281
some therapeutic dolphins
you can swim with.
288
00:13:34,347 --> 00:13:36,049
- Hey, quit messing with us,
man!
289
00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:38,218
We know we're redundant
and we're getting fired.
290
00:13:38,285 --> 00:13:40,153
- Fired? Why would we fire you?
291
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:43,156
You don't buy the Emporium
and then fire Mr. Magorium!
292
00:13:43,223 --> 00:13:45,825
- What?
- I boycotted that movie.
293
00:13:45,893 --> 00:13:47,660
You don't name a character
Magorium
294
00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:49,462
just so it rhymes with Emporium.
295
00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:51,965
- That's just a cheat.
- that movie.
296
00:13:52,032 --> 00:13:53,633
- Yes.
- Um, could you just go back
297
00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:54,767
to what you were saying before?
298
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,203
We're keeping our jobs?
299
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:58,071
- Absolutely,
you're keeping your jobs.
300
00:13:58,138 --> 00:14:01,942
In fact, we're creating
an entire division just for you.
301
00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:05,879
Basically, anything
that your big brains think of,
302
00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:06,980
we're gonna build.
303
00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:10,117
- Jackie's gonna love
this place.
304
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:12,685
- Oh, well,
we might have to figure out
305
00:14:12,752 --> 00:14:13,853
a way around that one.
306
00:14:13,921 --> 00:14:15,388
We don't hire assistants here.
307
00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:17,790
- So, Jackie won't
be working here?
308
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:20,994
- Uh, no.
- That's fine.
309
00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:23,063
We don't care.
310
00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:27,400
This place is so fancy.
311
00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:29,269
You know, instead
of toilet paper,
312
00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:32,205
they have these expensive
Egyptian cotton towels?
313
00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:35,642
- No, Ron. They definitely
have toilet paper.
314
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,810
- Oh, dear.
- Anyway,
315
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:40,280
this LexCorp takeover is
the best thing
316
00:14:40,347 --> 00:14:43,016
that has ever happened to us.
317
00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:45,218
There you guys are.
I felt it out with Russell,
318
00:14:45,285 --> 00:14:47,554
and I think if we all
band together and say
319
00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:50,557
we're not going to take the jobs
unless they hire Jackie too,
320
00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:51,925
they'll give in.
321
00:14:51,992 --> 00:14:53,726
We just have to be willing
to walk away.
322
00:14:53,793 --> 00:14:56,696
- Do we look like people
who are willing to walk away?
323
00:14:56,763 --> 00:14:59,266
I mean, I don't even know where
my pants are. Anybody else?
324
00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:00,934
- Van, she's taken care
of your entire life
325
00:15:01,001 --> 00:15:02,335
for ten years.
326
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:03,770
- You know what?
I don't even remember
327
00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:05,638
what Jackie looks like anymore.
328
00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:08,908
Hey, who here wants to go
swimming with dolphins?
329
00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:12,445
- This guy!
- Yes!
330
00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:14,181
Ooh. Jesus Christ!
331
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:16,916
- Oh, that is not
the dolphin room.
332
00:15:16,984 --> 00:15:18,151
- Ha!
333
00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:24,891
- Oh, my God.
This is a wormhole.
334
00:15:24,958 --> 00:15:28,595
- This place has everything!
335
00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:32,599
- Yeah. Wow.
336
00:15:36,803 --> 00:15:39,906
I think this is the wormhole
everyone's looking for.
337
00:15:39,973 --> 00:15:42,142
- Oh, my God.
LexCorp's behind this?
338
00:15:42,209 --> 00:15:43,476
- Hold on. Hold on.
We don't know
339
00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:45,412
that this is the evil wormhole.
340
00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:47,347
- There's only one way
to find out.
341
00:15:47,414 --> 00:15:48,315
Cha-kah!
342
00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:50,984
- No!
- No, no, no!
343
00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:56,256
- Well, Wendy's dead.
344
00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:59,026
Whoa.
345
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:17,910
- Well, that was definitely
the evil wormhole.
346
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:21,381
I was in the land of Scartarus
for two years.
347
00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:25,752
I became a warlord.
I freed a nation of slaves.
348
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,720
It was so cool.
349
00:16:27,787 --> 00:16:29,489
- Why did you come back?
350
00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:32,159
- Oh, I got to see that last
season of "Game of Thrones."
351
00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:33,760
It's gonna be crazy.
352
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,362
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
353
00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:36,996
- We have
to shut this thing off.
354
00:16:37,064 --> 00:16:38,965
- Yep.
- Ohh, oh, oh, oh!
355
00:16:39,032 --> 00:16:40,667
Slow down, there,
Erin Brockovich!
356
00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:44,237
Now, every company does
morally questionable things.
357
00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:45,672
Sometimes it's fuzzy
accounting.
358
00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:47,640
Sometimes it's a wormhole
359
00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:49,409
that releases evil aliens
360
00:16:49,476 --> 00:16:51,944
that are bent
on destroying the earth.
361
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,446
Nobody's perfect!
362
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,248
- Aww!
363
00:16:55,315 --> 00:16:58,318
You guys discovered
the evil wormhole!
364
00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:01,588
- What wormhole?
- No. Don't do that.
365
00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:04,191
You saw it. I know you saw it,
'cause I saw you see it.
366
00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:05,892
- All right.
- All right?
367
00:17:05,958 --> 00:17:08,628
This is unfortunate.
Now we got to kill you guys.
368
00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:10,963
- What?
- You are going to die.
369
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,133
But not all bad.
370
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,801
it's gonna be painless,
371
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:17,036
it's gonna be humane,
and your bodies are gonna be
372
00:17:17,104 --> 00:17:18,738
turned into no-calorie cheese!
373
00:17:18,805 --> 00:17:20,807
- Oh!
- Oh.
374
00:17:24,211 --> 00:17:25,612
- All right, so,
I'm gonna give you guys
375
00:17:26,779 --> 00:17:28,748
just a few minutes
to say your final good-byes,
376
00:17:28,815 --> 00:17:33,052
and then you get to select
which cheese you want to become!
377
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:35,188
- Russell, come on!
Deal with me, man!
378
00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:37,324
I got houses. I got boats.
379
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:41,461
- Hmm. Sorry, guys,
but President Luthor is
380
00:17:41,528 --> 00:17:43,596
really set on destroying
the world.
381
00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:46,433
Plus I've already entered
your deaths into the system,
382
00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:48,301
so, you know how it goes.
383
00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:50,170
All right.
384
00:17:50,237 --> 00:17:52,339
- Guys, we've got
to do something.
385
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:53,773
- There's nothing to do!
386
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:55,508
Things don't always have
a happy ending.
387
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:57,744
Things aren't always
warm and fuzzy friendship,
388
00:17:57,810 --> 00:17:59,011
blah, blah, blah.
389
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,447
Sometimes you just die,
390
00:18:00,513 --> 00:18:02,149
and then you get turned
into cheese.
391
00:18:02,215 --> 00:18:04,284
- Oh, my God,
I just realized
392
00:18:04,351 --> 00:18:06,486
I ate four people's worth
of nachos.
393
00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:08,288
- That's disgusting.
394
00:18:08,355 --> 00:18:10,657
- I refuse to believe
this is how we end.
395
00:18:10,723 --> 00:18:15,262
- How about a round of applause
for our euthanasia guy, Esteban?
396
00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:17,497
- Boo! Boo!
- Nope.
397
00:18:17,564 --> 00:18:19,232
He has a bunch
of poisonous scents in here
398
00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:20,667
that you can inhale.
399
00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:23,603
The lavender is very calming,
I'm told.
400
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,415
- Hey.
401
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,452
Oh, my God.
402
00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:41,188
Jackie, are you The Flash?
403
00:18:41,254 --> 00:18:43,890
- No. These dummies gave me
superpowers.
404
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,958
- It worked!
405
00:18:46,025 --> 00:18:47,394
- How did you even find us?
406
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:48,828
- I saw on Emily's
Twitter account
407
00:18:48,895 --> 00:18:50,397
that you guys were at LexCorp,
408
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,432
so I searched all the rooms
at super-speed,
409
00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:54,434
got a fro-yo,
went to California,
410
00:18:54,501 --> 00:18:57,170
learned jiu-jitsu, which is
how I knocked out these guys,
411
00:18:57,237 --> 00:18:58,538
and then I found you.
412
00:18:58,605 --> 00:19:01,140
- Aww, you follow me on Twitter?
413
00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:04,277
You know who else does?
My family.
414
00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:06,346
And also Taye Diggs,
for some reason.
415
00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:08,181
He's following everybody.
416
00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:09,949
- Yeah.
- All right. Fine.
417
00:19:10,016 --> 00:19:11,518
I like all of you guys enough
418
00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:13,186
that I didn't want any of you
to die.
419
00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:16,223
- Aww!
- Aww!
420
00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:17,824
- You!
- Aw.
421
00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:20,593
- It's sweet that you think
that's a high bar.
422
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:22,295
- Yeah.
423
00:19:24,063 --> 00:19:26,899
- Uh, guys,
we should shut this down
424
00:19:26,966 --> 00:19:28,268
before it destroys the Earth.
425
00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:30,370
- Oh, right, right.
- I got it.
426
00:19:30,437 --> 00:19:32,772
What if Jackie runs around it
with her super-speed,
427
00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:35,908
and the speed force will repair
the fabric of space-time?
428
00:19:41,248 --> 00:19:42,849
- Or that.
429
00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:45,452
- Jackie, you saved the world
and you saved our lives.
430
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:48,255
You deserve a break...
of seven to ten minutes,
431
00:19:48,321 --> 00:19:50,056
and then get me
out of these handcuffs!
432
00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:52,392
And go get me a wig.
433
00:19:52,459 --> 00:19:53,660
- Congressional Republicans
voted
434
00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:55,628
not to impeach President Luthor
435
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:59,198
in spite of his comically evil
plan to destroy the Earth.
436
00:19:59,266 --> 00:20:01,067
In other news,
437
00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:02,535
what if I told you these
earrings
438
00:20:02,602 --> 00:20:04,504
were made by a panda?
439
00:20:04,571 --> 00:20:07,907
- So you have super-speed,
and you're not gonna use it?
440
00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:09,242
- No. I hate it.
441
00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:10,343
You get a bunch of bugs
in your teeth,
442
00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:11,844
it's murder on your shoes,
443
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:14,447
and I don't have any excuses now
for being late.
444
00:20:14,514 --> 00:20:16,749
- Yeah, but you used it for us.
445
00:20:16,816 --> 00:20:19,352
And it just occurred to me
that our jobs ended,
446
00:20:19,419 --> 00:20:21,388
and we're still hanging out.
447
00:20:21,454 --> 00:20:23,923
- Of course we are.
I don't need some dumb job
448
00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:25,358
to hang out with my friends.
449
00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:27,660
- Yeah, I've been trying
for a long time
450
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:29,095
to be accepted by a cooler
group,
451
00:20:29,161 --> 00:20:30,830
but I think this is my ceiling,
452
00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:32,031
and I'm okay with that.
453
00:20:32,098 --> 00:20:34,233
- Well, hey, whatever happens,
454
00:20:34,301 --> 00:20:35,968
we'll have each other.
455
00:20:36,035 --> 00:20:38,237
A round of hugs, on me.
456
00:20:39,339 --> 00:20:41,508
Ouch!
457
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:43,710
- I might use my power
occasionally.
458
00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:46,913
- Hey, screw it. Let's all go
to the petting zoo!
459
00:20:46,979 --> 00:20:48,815
- Yeah!
- Come on!
460
00:20:48,881 --> 00:20:54,454
- What will become of our little
gang of scrappy underdogs?
461
00:20:54,521 --> 00:20:57,490
Will Bruce Wayne bail out
our heroes?
462
00:20:57,557 --> 00:21:04,497
Or will the treacherous
Lex Luthor seek revenge?
463
00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:07,099
What do you think, tree?
464
00:21:07,166 --> 00:21:09,135
You always tell me the truth.
465
00:21:09,201 --> 00:21:10,537
- Why is he talking to a plant?
466
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:12,071
- Are we sure
he even works here?
467
00:21:12,138 --> 00:21:13,506
- You know,
we might still have our jobs.
468
00:21:13,573 --> 00:21:15,808
- I'm gonna call Bruce.
469
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:17,744
- Ha. That's funny.
32202
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