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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,897 --> 00:00:04,896 (children coughing) 2 00:00:12,501 --> 00:00:15,429 Oh, Christ, does every single one of these kids have the flu? 3 00:00:15,464 --> 00:00:16,197 Seems like it. 4 00:00:16,235 --> 00:00:18,168 All right, now I bet you guys are wondering what's going on 5 00:00:18,204 --> 00:00:20,203 - with this racing suit, huh? - No, not even a little bit. 6 00:00:20,238 --> 00:00:21,672 You're like, "What's that rascal Charlie up to?" 7 00:00:21,705 --> 00:00:23,705 "What's he up to this time?" Right, right? 8 00:00:23,741 --> 00:00:24,805 - I'm not thinking that at all. - Yeah, yeah, well, 9 00:00:24,842 --> 00:00:26,973 it's an issue of aerodynamics, really. 10 00:00:27,010 --> 00:00:28,411 You see, every second counts in the water park. 11 00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:30,037 - Right. - And we plan to ride 12 00:00:30,037 --> 00:00:31,376 - every single ride in there today. - Yup. 13 00:00:31,410 --> 00:00:32,977 Yeah, the brochure says three days. 14 00:00:33,013 --> 00:00:33,979 We're saying bullshit to that. 15 00:00:34,013 --> 00:00:35,379 - We're gonna get it done in one. - One day. 16 00:00:35,413 --> 00:00:37,112 All right, well, good luck with that 'cause you got, like, 17 00:00:37,149 --> 00:00:38,783 ten minutes of clean water and then every slide's basically 18 00:00:38,815 --> 00:00:40,148 a urine delivery system. 19 00:00:40,184 --> 00:00:41,382 - Yeah. - (laughs) - MAC: We're not gonna get 20 00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:42,816 - drenched in piss. - No. 21 00:00:42,852 --> 00:00:44,452 We're gonna go in there, find our favorite ride, 22 00:00:44,486 --> 00:00:45,986 - bomb down it once, - Yeah. 23 00:00:46,021 --> 00:00:48,488 then sit by the pool the rest of the day disease-free. 24 00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:49,820 Don't kid yourself about the water, buddy. 25 00:00:49,856 --> 00:00:50,821 You're not gonna be disease-free; 26 00:00:50,856 --> 00:00:51,954 this water's already infested 27 00:00:51,990 --> 00:00:53,189 with every parasite on the planet. 28 00:00:53,225 --> 00:00:54,491 And I, for one, have no intention 29 00:00:54,526 --> 00:00:55,826 of stepping foot in any of it. 30 00:00:55,859 --> 00:00:57,359 So what do you come to a water park for? 31 00:00:57,394 --> 00:01:00,627 Hot food, cold beer, bikini'd women seeking relief 32 00:01:00,663 --> 00:01:02,529 from the insufferable prison of motherhood. 33 00:01:02,564 --> 00:01:04,030 Yeah, lot of pleasures to be had at the park, Frank. 34 00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,664 - None of which involve piss. - Hmm. 35 00:01:05,698 --> 00:01:07,497 And it's all free, too, if you know how to get it. 36 00:01:07,534 --> 00:01:09,133 Well, it's not free, you got to pay to get in. 37 00:01:09,168 --> 00:01:11,534 Not me, I had my bracelet laminated in the '90s. 38 00:01:11,570 --> 00:01:13,502 I haven't paid to get in here since I was 14. 39 00:01:13,538 --> 00:01:14,940 - Nice! - Nice, nice. 40 00:01:14,941 --> 00:01:16,870 - Oh, smart. - Oh, shush! Shush, shush, shush, shush, 41 00:01:16,870 --> 00:01:18,372 - they're about to open! - Why do we have to shush? 42 00:01:18,407 --> 00:01:19,907 Oh, guys! I almost forgot. 43 00:01:19,942 --> 00:01:21,708 Do not go near the pool drains, 44 00:01:21,741 --> 00:01:24,139 no matter how good you might think they feel on your butt. 45 00:01:24,175 --> 00:01:25,742 - What? - Huh? - What? 46 00:01:25,779 --> 00:01:27,212 You do not sit on those! 47 00:01:27,246 --> 00:01:28,845 You know, because of the suction on your butthole? 48 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,413 - No one's thinking about that, man. - (all disagreeing) 49 00:01:30,445 --> 00:01:31,712 No one's thinking about that at all. 50 00:01:31,748 --> 00:01:33,746 Oh, good, 'cause it is bad news. 51 00:01:33,782 --> 00:01:35,847 Those things will suck the intestines right out of you. 52 00:01:35,885 --> 00:01:38,216 Like it did to that one kid back in '96. 53 00:01:38,252 --> 00:01:39,819 Now, she had to chew through her intestines 54 00:01:39,853 --> 00:01:41,318 - just to get free. - CHARLIE: When I see the drain, 55 00:01:41,353 --> 00:01:42,720 I'm not gonna go try and sit on it. 56 00:01:42,754 --> 00:01:44,086 - Oh, here we go. - Okay, here we go! Here we go! 57 00:01:44,121 --> 00:01:45,886 We got to go! Get in there! 58 00:01:45,922 --> 00:01:47,656 - Go! Go! Go! - Christ! 59 00:01:47,689 --> 00:01:49,689 ♪ ♪ 60 00:02:09,698 --> 00:02:11,330 ♪ Kiddie Twister ♪ 61 00:02:11,466 --> 00:02:13,485 ♪ Kiddie Twister ♪ 62 00:02:15,201 --> 00:02:17,443 Here we go, here we go, here we go! 63 00:02:17,566 --> 00:02:20,300 - Yeah, Kiddie Twister! - I'm so excited. 64 00:02:20,333 --> 00:02:22,532 - It's been, like, 20 years. - What's that? 65 00:02:22,568 --> 00:02:24,001 Uh, it's a urine tester. 66 00:02:24,035 --> 00:02:25,567 Just want to be 100% sure. 67 00:02:25,603 --> 00:02:28,002 It turns light red at the slightest hint of piss. 68 00:02:28,037 --> 00:02:30,402 - And I think we're good. - Let's roll. 69 00:02:30,438 --> 00:02:31,672 Hey, guys, guys, guys. 70 00:02:31,705 --> 00:02:32,979 Slide's for kids only. 71 00:02:33,335 --> 00:02:34,625 Size requirement. 72 00:02:34,848 --> 00:02:36,082 Shut up, nerd! 73 00:02:36,082 --> 00:02:37,637 - (laughs) - (whoops) 74 00:02:37,683 --> 00:02:39,748 Kiddie Twister! 75 00:02:39,785 --> 00:02:41,253 (whoops) 76 00:02:41,287 --> 00:02:42,886 Screw you, nerd! 77 00:02:42,920 --> 00:02:43,885 You're gonna get hurt 78 00:02:43,921 --> 00:02:45,487 Uh, come on, nerd. 79 00:02:45,521 --> 00:02:46,954 (laughs) 80 00:02:46,990 --> 00:02:48,723 Whoo-hoo! Kiddie Twister! 81 00:02:48,758 --> 00:02:50,922 I don't give a shit. 82 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:52,826 MAC: Kiddie Twister! 83 00:02:52,859 --> 00:02:54,458 (whoops) 84 00:02:54,494 --> 00:02:56,794 Kiddie Twis... Oh, shit! 85 00:02:56,830 --> 00:02:59,128 - Kiddie Twister! - Wait, Dee, no! 86 00:02:59,163 --> 00:03:00,996 - No, I'm stuck, wait! - (Dee yells) 87 00:03:01,032 --> 00:03:03,097 BOTH: Ow! 88 00:03:03,134 --> 00:03:04,400 - Shit! - (Dee yells) 89 00:03:04,433 --> 00:03:05,933 Ow! Ow, Dee, I'm stuck! 90 00:03:05,968 --> 00:03:07,334 Yeah, no shit! 91 00:03:07,367 --> 00:03:09,067 - Dee, you got to move. - Me move? You move. 92 00:03:09,103 --> 00:03:10,768 You're blocking me. 93 00:03:10,803 --> 00:03:13,068 Your stupid wrist band got us all jammed up. 94 00:03:13,105 --> 00:03:14,739 - It's not just that. - (grunting) 95 00:03:14,772 --> 00:03:17,439 The slide's too small, the nerd was right. 96 00:03:17,473 --> 00:03:19,306 Shit, what are we gonna do? 97 00:03:19,342 --> 00:03:21,440 Uh... okay. Just remain calm, all right? 98 00:03:21,476 --> 00:03:23,176 Do not panic, that's the worst thing you can do. 99 00:03:23,212 --> 00:03:25,011 Okay, but we got to get unstuck before they send another kid 100 00:03:25,046 --> 00:03:26,845 because... oh, God, 101 00:03:26,879 --> 00:03:28,845 some big, fat kid's just gonna come blasting down on us. 102 00:03:28,881 --> 00:03:31,782 - MAC: You're gonna be fine. Trust me. - (thud, both yell) 103 00:03:31,815 --> 00:03:33,648 - Shit! - Goddamn it! 104 00:03:33,684 --> 00:03:34,985 Jesus Christ! 105 00:03:36,385 --> 00:03:37,618 FRANK: This is slow, Charlie. 106 00:03:37,653 --> 00:03:39,153 I'm never gonna get through this crap. 107 00:03:39,187 --> 00:03:41,374 We should've gone down the first slide we saw. 108 00:03:41,374 --> 00:03:43,765 I know, I know, but we needed to start at the northmost point 109 00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:44,512 - of the park, right? - (groans) 110 00:03:44,512 --> 00:03:45,529 - Then we work our way south, - Yeah. 111 00:03:45,529 --> 00:03:46,970 and that cuts back on the excess 112 00:03:46,970 --> 00:03:48,978 - running back and forth. - Oh, yeah. 113 00:03:48,978 --> 00:03:50,461 You know, that said, I'm sorry I got us so lost. 114 00:03:50,461 --> 00:03:53,160 I can't ever tell which way is north on a map. 115 00:03:53,194 --> 00:03:54,761 It's at the top. 116 00:03:54,797 --> 00:03:57,163 - I thought north was, like, up. - "Up"? 117 00:03:57,199 --> 00:03:59,264 Yeah, like if I turn the map this way, now where is north? 118 00:03:59,298 --> 00:04:00,932 - Still at the top of the... no. - Down? 119 00:04:00,967 --> 00:04:03,332 - Now, come on, Charlie, this is ridiculous. - It's confusing, right? 120 00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:04,768 We got to get going here. 121 00:04:04,803 --> 00:04:06,702 - I know, goddamn it. - Where's he going? 122 00:04:06,738 --> 00:04:08,771 - Coming through. Excuse us. - What, what? 123 00:04:08,803 --> 00:04:10,303 How come he can cut to the front? 124 00:04:10,339 --> 00:04:11,972 Oh, Ethan is here with a special program 125 00:04:12,008 --> 00:04:13,308 for children with leukemia, 126 00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:15,772 so he skips to the front of the line. 127 00:04:15,808 --> 00:04:17,606 Thank you! Coming through. 128 00:04:19,311 --> 00:04:21,044 FRANK: AIDS! 129 00:04:21,077 --> 00:04:23,142 AIDS, I got AIDS. I got AIDS, we're coming through. 130 00:04:23,179 --> 00:04:25,277 - Yeah, yeah, sorry. - Cutting through. 131 00:04:25,315 --> 00:04:26,679 I'm his doctor, my patient's got to get 132 00:04:26,679 --> 00:04:27,799 - to the front of the line - Yeah. 133 00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:29,214 - Because he has AIDS. - I got the AIDS. 134 00:04:29,250 --> 00:04:31,282 He got it from a gay guy in the '80s. 135 00:04:31,318 --> 00:04:32,517 - I'm not gay, I didn't... but... - Well... 136 00:04:32,553 --> 00:04:34,118 There's two kind of AIDS... 137 00:04:34,152 --> 00:04:36,152 there's the vagina AIDS and then the needle-based AIDS. 138 00:04:36,188 --> 00:04:38,054 I-I'm a vagina guy. 139 00:04:38,089 --> 00:04:40,121 - Well, no, actually my test results show - I got... sorry, I'm... AIDS. 140 00:04:40,157 --> 00:04:41,356 that it was the gay AIDS. 141 00:04:41,392 --> 00:04:42,692 - All AIDS are bad. - Well... 142 00:04:42,724 --> 00:04:43,957 That's... no good AIDS. 143 00:04:43,993 --> 00:04:45,625 But I'm telling you, like I said, 144 00:04:45,659 --> 00:04:47,125 this is not the gay AIDS. 145 00:04:47,159 --> 00:04:49,059 (indistinct chatter, splashing) 146 00:04:58,032 --> 00:04:59,698 Lie back down. 147 00:05:05,404 --> 00:05:07,702 One of these little stinkers yours? 148 00:05:07,738 --> 00:05:08,972 My son. 149 00:05:09,007 --> 00:05:10,205 This one here? 150 00:05:10,239 --> 00:05:11,573 - WOMAN: Mm-hmm. - Oh, yeah, 151 00:05:11,608 --> 00:05:12,875 - he's adorable. - (chuckling) 152 00:05:12,909 --> 00:05:13,873 You? 153 00:05:13,909 --> 00:05:15,875 Oh, daughter, yeah. 154 00:05:15,912 --> 00:05:18,010 I try to take her to fun places like this. 155 00:05:18,046 --> 00:05:19,679 Let a little sunshine back into her life 156 00:05:19,712 --> 00:05:21,378 ever since her mom... 157 00:05:22,916 --> 00:05:25,315 Oh, my God. Did she... 158 00:05:25,351 --> 00:05:27,184 Die horrifically? 159 00:05:27,217 --> 00:05:28,516 Yeah. 160 00:05:28,551 --> 00:05:30,151 Drowning. Kind of ironic, 161 00:05:30,186 --> 00:05:31,318 us being at a water park, 162 00:05:31,352 --> 00:05:32,986 but, you know, you got to... 163 00:05:33,022 --> 00:05:34,854 you got to roll with the punches, you know? 164 00:05:34,887 --> 00:05:36,488 Got to get back out there and live life... 165 00:05:36,524 --> 00:05:38,823 Daddy, Daddy, can I borrow $20? 166 00:05:38,859 --> 00:05:40,056 What? 167 00:05:40,092 --> 00:05:42,025 Oh, hi there, what's your name? 168 00:05:42,058 --> 00:05:43,258 Abby. 169 00:05:43,294 --> 00:05:44,526 I'm hungry, Daddy. 170 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:46,360 Can I please have $20? 171 00:05:47,964 --> 00:05:49,497 Well, I think you can get something to eat 172 00:05:49,529 --> 00:05:51,229 for a lot less than that, hon. 173 00:05:51,265 --> 00:05:52,565 Dad! 174 00:05:52,601 --> 00:05:54,067 I'm hungry, I'm starving, 175 00:05:54,099 --> 00:05:56,198 and you haven't given me any money. 176 00:05:57,137 --> 00:05:59,569 (sighs) Yeah. 177 00:05:59,604 --> 00:06:00,837 What the hell? 178 00:06:00,871 --> 00:06:02,037 (chuckles) 179 00:06:02,073 --> 00:06:04,404 Anything for my little... 180 00:06:04,438 --> 00:06:05,806 - Abby. - (chuckles) 181 00:06:10,945 --> 00:06:12,944 Interesting. 182 00:06:14,380 --> 00:06:16,346 What's interesting? 183 00:06:16,378 --> 00:06:18,012 Nothing. 184 00:06:18,049 --> 00:06:19,246 I'm done with you. 185 00:06:19,282 --> 00:06:20,549 Keep up. 186 00:06:24,602 --> 00:06:26,908 - Aah! Jesus. - You'd think all the pressure 187 00:06:26,908 --> 00:06:27,937 would blast us through. 188 00:06:27,973 --> 00:06:30,405 No, it's just squeezing me further into the stuck! 189 00:06:30,441 --> 00:06:31,907 Okay, well, get-get the bracelet off. 190 00:06:31,939 --> 00:06:33,738 - Just rip it off. - Dee, I'm trying. 191 00:06:33,773 --> 00:06:35,574 I can't get any actual leverage on it. 192 00:06:35,610 --> 00:06:36,842 Besides, it's triple-laminated. 193 00:06:36,876 --> 00:06:38,176 - It's not just gonna rip. - Oh, no. 194 00:06:38,211 --> 00:06:39,578 - I think someone peed. - What?! 195 00:06:39,610 --> 00:06:40,843 Sherman, did you pee? 196 00:06:40,877 --> 00:06:42,577 - No. - Sherman, my vial 197 00:06:42,614 --> 00:06:44,013 - is turning light pink. - MAC: Ugh... 198 00:06:44,047 --> 00:06:46,547 goddamn it, Sherman, I ordered you not to pee! 199 00:06:46,581 --> 00:06:48,514 - Sorry! - Oh, disgusting! 200 00:06:48,550 --> 00:06:49,849 Sorry's not gonna cut it, Sherman, 201 00:06:49,884 --> 00:06:51,284 - it's not gonna cut it. - Nobody else pee! 202 00:06:51,319 --> 00:06:52,552 Ah, the sun's just blasting me 203 00:06:52,586 --> 00:06:53,785 right in the face. 204 00:06:53,821 --> 00:06:55,187 Why does it have to be right there? 205 00:06:55,220 --> 00:06:57,220 Dee, if God put the sun there, 206 00:06:57,256 --> 00:06:58,790 there's probably a reason, okay? 207 00:06:58,823 --> 00:07:00,289 Don't question him; we need God! 208 00:07:00,324 --> 00:07:02,290 God didn't put the sun anywhere. 209 00:07:02,326 --> 00:07:04,927 The sun stays still; the Earth moves around it. 210 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:06,393 (all scream) 211 00:07:06,427 --> 00:07:07,860 - Oh, Jesus Christ. - Okay. All right. 212 00:07:07,893 --> 00:07:09,893 We gotta get these kids out of here. 213 00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:11,862 All right. I'm going for it. I'm just pulling on one of 'em. 214 00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:14,965 Come on. Ah, this friggin' dome's like a magnifying glass. 215 00:07:14,999 --> 00:07:16,266 (groaning) 216 00:07:16,300 --> 00:07:18,066 MAC: Get him through, I can get him. 217 00:07:18,102 --> 00:07:19,702 (Mac grunts) 218 00:07:19,735 --> 00:07:21,799 - DEE: Get help. - Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 219 00:07:21,838 --> 00:07:23,804 Kid, kid, kid, listen. Come here. 220 00:07:23,836 --> 00:07:25,469 Before you go, 221 00:07:25,506 --> 00:07:27,771 no matter how alluring it is, 222 00:07:27,807 --> 00:07:29,607 do not put your genitals or your butthole 223 00:07:29,641 --> 00:07:31,141 near the pool drain. You got it? 224 00:07:31,174 --> 00:07:32,774 - In fact, cover your butthole. - DEE: Okay, go. 225 00:07:32,809 --> 00:07:34,775 - Okay, kid. Go, kid, go! - Come on. Go. 226 00:07:34,809 --> 00:07:36,042 Cover that butthole, kid! 227 00:07:36,076 --> 00:07:37,711 Mac. Stop talking to children 228 00:07:37,747 --> 00:07:38,944 about their buttholes, okay? 229 00:07:38,980 --> 00:07:40,146 - It's not appropriate. - Okay. 230 00:07:40,180 --> 00:07:41,480 Okay. 231 00:07:41,516 --> 00:07:42,915 Uh, I think we gotta get another kid out. 232 00:07:42,949 --> 00:07:44,215 You know what? 233 00:07:44,249 --> 00:07:45,882 What about this one? 234 00:07:45,915 --> 00:07:47,415 That kid looks passed out, Dee. 235 00:07:47,451 --> 00:07:48,918 Yeah, he's out cold, but I think 236 00:07:48,953 --> 00:07:50,487 I can maneuver his body pretty easily. 237 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:52,386 Yeah, but if we send him down there, he might drown. 238 00:07:52,422 --> 00:07:55,256 Guys, I gotta take a poop. 239 00:07:56,790 --> 00:07:58,023 (Mac and Dee grunt) 240 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:05,628 ♪ ♪ 241 00:08:09,831 --> 00:08:11,497 - MAN: I see you stealing. - ABBY: I wasn't stealing them! 242 00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:12,933 I just forgot I was wearing them! 243 00:08:12,966 --> 00:08:14,466 Let go of me! 244 00:08:14,501 --> 00:08:15,799 My dad's a cop! 245 00:08:15,835 --> 00:08:18,503 Abigail! What is going on in here? 246 00:08:18,536 --> 00:08:20,235 Where have you been? I've been worried sick about you. 247 00:08:20,270 --> 00:08:21,803 - This your daughter? - Yes. 248 00:08:21,838 --> 00:08:23,405 Officer Dennis Reynolds. 249 00:08:23,439 --> 00:08:24,805 Hi. Off-duty, of course. 250 00:08:24,839 --> 00:08:26,672 This is your jurisdiction. 251 00:08:26,708 --> 00:08:28,108 - Look, I caught her stealing sunglasses. - Yeah? 252 00:08:28,144 --> 00:08:29,976 - No, I didn't! I was just... - Abigail, 253 00:08:30,008 --> 00:08:31,675 I gave you $20 to buy whatever you wanted. 254 00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:32,979 What happened to that? Do you still have it? 255 00:08:34,978 --> 00:08:36,511 Yes. 256 00:08:36,548 --> 00:08:38,647 Well, then you need to pay for these sunglasses. 257 00:08:41,116 --> 00:08:42,314 Actually, no. You know what? 258 00:08:42,349 --> 00:08:43,815 On second thought, no. 259 00:08:43,851 --> 00:08:45,517 You don't get the sunglasses. 260 00:08:45,553 --> 00:08:47,785 - You need to be taught a lesson. - I think that she gets... 261 00:08:47,822 --> 00:08:49,422 I really appreciate everything that you do. 262 00:08:49,454 --> 00:08:51,753 Real police officer to security guard, 263 00:08:51,790 --> 00:08:53,423 honestly, I want to thank you for everything. 264 00:08:53,457 --> 00:08:55,289 - Thanks. - This little girl, 265 00:08:55,324 --> 00:08:56,624 she's gonna be grounded for a month. 266 00:08:56,659 --> 00:08:58,159 Come on, Abigail, let's go. 267 00:08:58,193 --> 00:09:01,160 Try to touch me, and I'll scream "rape." 268 00:09:01,195 --> 00:09:02,528 Please. 269 00:09:02,564 --> 00:09:03,863 I see the road you're headed down: 270 00:09:03,897 --> 00:09:05,330 the lying, the stealing, all of it. 271 00:09:05,365 --> 00:09:06,598 And as somebody who's been down that road, 272 00:09:06,631 --> 00:09:07,864 let me tell you something: 273 00:09:08,856 --> 00:09:10,098 you've got real talent. 274 00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:11,533 Okay... 275 00:09:11,568 --> 00:09:13,001 Mmm. 276 00:09:13,035 --> 00:09:14,267 That ought to work. 277 00:09:14,301 --> 00:09:15,534 What are you doing? 278 00:09:15,569 --> 00:09:16,969 Oh, it's a simple lunch play. 279 00:09:17,006 --> 00:09:18,639 I tell the burger stand 280 00:09:18,671 --> 00:09:20,370 some hyperactive brat knocked my food on the ground, 281 00:09:20,405 --> 00:09:21,872 they replace it, no questions asked. 282 00:09:21,906 --> 00:09:23,540 I usually just swipe a burger 283 00:09:23,574 --> 00:09:25,540 off some dumb-ass family while they're not looking. 284 00:09:25,575 --> 00:09:27,208 Well, that begs the question, Abigail: 285 00:09:27,243 --> 00:09:29,878 you want to be a thief or do you want to be an artist? 286 00:09:29,913 --> 00:09:31,546 You see, an artist takes whatever 287 00:09:31,578 --> 00:09:34,011 he wants when somebody's looking right at him. 288 00:09:38,717 --> 00:09:40,216 - These are too small for me. - Yeah. 289 00:09:40,251 --> 00:09:43,117 - You get the point. - Yeah. 290 00:09:43,154 --> 00:09:45,352 - ♪ Here comes the hot stepper ♪ - ♪ Murderer ♪ 291 00:09:45,389 --> 00:09:47,521 - ♪ I'm the lyrical gangster ♪ - ♪ Murderer ♪ 292 00:09:47,555 --> 00:09:49,987 - ♪ Pick up the crew in-a de area ♪ - ♪ Murderer ♪ 293 00:09:50,024 --> 00:09:52,024 - ♪ Still love you like that ♪ - ♪ Murderer ♪ 294 00:09:53,325 --> 00:09:55,391 ♪ No, no, we don't die ♪ 295 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:57,559 ♪ Yes, we multiply ♪ 296 00:09:57,596 --> 00:09:59,562 - I got AIDS, AIDS. - AIDS! Guy with AIDS, coming through. 297 00:09:59,596 --> 00:10:01,629 AIDS, coming through. AIDS, AIDS... 298 00:10:01,665 --> 00:10:02,887 - AIDS! - Hey, man, go through. 299 00:10:02,887 --> 00:10:03,699 Hey, go for it, go, go, go! 300 00:10:03,733 --> 00:10:05,367 No, you need a raft! You need a raft! 301 00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:07,465 - (whooping) - ♪ I know what Bo don't know ♪ 302 00:10:07,501 --> 00:10:10,368 ♪ Touch them up and go, uh-oh ♪ 303 00:10:10,402 --> 00:10:12,201 ♪ Ch-Ch-Chang-chang ♪ 304 00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:13,402 - ♪ Here comes the hot stepper ♪ - ♪ Murderer ♪ 305 00:10:13,436 --> 00:10:14,401 ♪ I'm the lyrical gangster... ♪ 306 00:10:14,438 --> 00:10:16,804 (both shouting excitedly) 307 00:10:16,839 --> 00:10:19,071 - ♪ Excuse me, Mr. Officer ♪ - ♪ Murderer ♪ 308 00:10:19,108 --> 00:10:20,641 - ♪ Still love you like that ♪ - ♪ Murderer ♪ 309 00:10:20,675 --> 00:10:22,574 - Ah! Ah! - Ow! 310 00:10:22,609 --> 00:10:23,909 - ♪ Extraordinary ♪ - Go. 311 00:10:23,944 --> 00:10:26,977 - ♪ Juice like a strawberry ♪ - Go. 312 00:10:27,012 --> 00:10:28,912 - My camera! - Oh, great, your camera. 313 00:10:28,948 --> 00:10:30,314 I was really worried about that. 314 00:10:30,347 --> 00:10:32,013 This is my watch. 315 00:10:32,050 --> 00:10:35,983 ♪ Cut to fade is me, fade to cut is she ♪ 316 00:10:36,017 --> 00:10:40,052 ♪ Come juggle with me, I say every time ♪ 317 00:10:40,085 --> 00:10:42,350 - ♪ Here comes the hot stepper ♪ - ♪ Murderer ♪ 318 00:10:42,387 --> 00:10:44,554 - Go. - (screams) 319 00:10:44,589 --> 00:10:46,421 - Go. - (screams) 320 00:10:46,457 --> 00:10:48,889 - My sunglasses. - Oh, all of our chains! 321 00:10:48,925 --> 00:10:50,091 You know how hard it is to get all of our chains. 322 00:10:50,126 --> 00:10:51,091 - AIDS... - AIDS, AIDS! 323 00:10:51,126 --> 00:10:52,559 ♪ Na, na-na-na-na ♪ 324 00:10:52,593 --> 00:10:54,525 ♪ Na-na-na-na, na-na-na, na-na-na ♪ 325 00:10:54,561 --> 00:10:56,494 ♪ Na-na-na-na ♪ 326 00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:57,830 KID: Ow! 327 00:10:57,866 --> 00:11:00,264 Stop sending kids, nerd! 328 00:11:00,300 --> 00:11:02,431 - You goddamn nerd! - Go. 329 00:11:02,466 --> 00:11:04,100 - We're making good time. - We're doin' it, Charlie. 330 00:11:04,136 --> 00:11:05,669 We're pretty much... we're pretty much caught up. 331 00:11:05,703 --> 00:11:08,370 Whoa, hey, hey, guys! 332 00:11:08,402 --> 00:11:10,335 What are you guys doing? You guys doing a AIDS thing? 333 00:11:10,372 --> 00:11:11,570 - Oh, yeah! - Yeah. 334 00:11:11,606 --> 00:11:12,905 I gave Frank a couple hickeys 335 00:11:12,939 --> 00:11:14,372 - to sell the lesions. - Sucked on 'em. 336 00:11:14,405 --> 00:11:15,839 Yeah, yeah. 337 00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:17,241 You doing a fake daughter thing? 338 00:11:17,276 --> 00:11:19,608 - Yeah. - Cool. All right, man, see ya. 339 00:11:19,642 --> 00:11:21,408 - See ya. - (starts fake crying) 340 00:11:21,444 --> 00:11:23,843 - ♪ I'm the lyrical gangster ♪ - ♪ Murderer ♪ 341 00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:25,846 - ♪ Excuse me, Mr. Officer ♪ - ♪ Murderer ♪ 342 00:11:25,881 --> 00:11:29,616 - ♪ Still love you like that ♪ - ♪ Murderer ♪ 343 00:11:29,650 --> 00:11:30,883 (thud, screaming) 344 00:11:34,753 --> 00:11:37,521 ♪ Act like you know, G go ♪ 345 00:11:37,554 --> 00:11:39,588 ♪ I know what Bo don't know ♪ 346 00:11:39,623 --> 00:11:41,788 ♪ Touch them up and go, uh-oh ♪ 347 00:11:41,824 --> 00:11:44,593 Three, two, one, go! 348 00:11:44,626 --> 00:11:47,194 (whooping) 349 00:11:47,227 --> 00:11:49,093 I got AIDS! 350 00:11:49,126 --> 00:11:50,226 (whooping) 351 00:11:51,930 --> 00:11:54,129 Yeah! (whooping) 352 00:11:58,708 --> 00:12:00,274 - Frank, we did it, man! - Charlie! 353 00:12:00,310 --> 00:12:01,609 - With time to spare! - Charlie! We... 354 00:12:01,642 --> 00:12:03,940 - Every single ride in here! - We won! 355 00:12:03,978 --> 00:12:05,344 CHARLIE: Hey! Hey, hey, hey! 356 00:12:05,378 --> 00:12:06,510 Hey! Suck on that, river rat! 357 00:12:06,546 --> 00:12:07,778 - Every ride! - (laughs) 358 00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:09,912 (both laughing) 359 00:12:09,949 --> 00:12:11,147 - We did it. - Oh, shit. 360 00:12:11,182 --> 00:12:13,215 Frank. Look at this! 361 00:12:15,718 --> 00:12:17,251 - Oh. - Oh... 362 00:12:17,287 --> 00:12:18,787 What... what is that? 363 00:12:18,820 --> 00:12:20,618 I don't know. 364 00:12:20,653 --> 00:12:22,287 I mean, that-that's not on the map... what ride is that? 365 00:12:22,322 --> 00:12:23,454 Excuse me? 366 00:12:23,489 --> 00:12:24,621 - Excuse me, ma'am? - Yeah? 367 00:12:24,657 --> 00:12:26,023 What is this ride over here? 368 00:12:26,057 --> 00:12:27,090 Oh, that's our new slide. 369 00:12:27,125 --> 00:12:28,491 It's, uh, Thunder Gun Express. 370 00:12:28,526 --> 00:12:29,825 We just finished construction. 371 00:12:29,859 --> 00:12:31,326 It'll be open in a few weeks. 372 00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:32,325 - A Thunder Gun ride? - Yeah. 373 00:12:32,362 --> 00:12:33,493 Like the movie? 374 00:12:33,527 --> 00:12:35,027 Yeah, but there's no water or anything yet, 375 00:12:35,062 --> 00:12:36,529 - so we still have to test it. - Oh, yeah. 376 00:12:36,562 --> 00:12:37,995 It's totally dry. 377 00:12:38,032 --> 00:12:39,364 - Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's not, it's not... 378 00:12:39,399 --> 00:12:41,497 no, but it's not, it's, it's not open yet. 379 00:12:41,532 --> 00:12:42,831 It's Thunder Gun, man. No hesitation. 380 00:12:42,867 --> 00:12:44,666 - No, no, no. - No surrender. No man left behind. 381 00:12:44,701 --> 00:12:46,201 We got to get to the top of that slide. 382 00:12:46,234 --> 00:12:48,768 And raw-dog the shit out of it! 383 00:12:48,802 --> 00:12:50,302 (indistinct chatter) 384 00:12:50,339 --> 00:12:51,338 (huffs) 385 00:12:51,372 --> 00:12:52,537 - Mac? - Yeah? 386 00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:54,205 My vial is blood red. 387 00:12:54,242 --> 00:12:55,842 That's because the water's not even running through anymore. 388 00:12:55,874 --> 00:12:57,341 It's just pooling up. 389 00:12:57,375 --> 00:12:58,941 - Well, I got to tell you something, though, I... - Huh? 390 00:12:58,978 --> 00:13:00,944 I don't know if I'm gonna be able to hold it much longer. 391 00:13:00,976 --> 00:13:02,842 - What?! - I-I've been in here for so long, I-I... 392 00:13:02,879 --> 00:13:04,678 Don't you do it, Dee! Don't you do it! 393 00:13:04,713 --> 00:13:06,013 The problem is it's already happening. 394 00:13:06,046 --> 00:13:07,479 I'm peeing on your shoulder right now. 395 00:13:07,516 --> 00:13:09,449 - But I don't mean to, I'm sorry. - (groaning) 396 00:13:09,483 --> 00:13:10,481 - It's warm. - You bitch! 397 00:13:10,517 --> 00:13:12,017 When we get out of here, I'm gonna kill you! 398 00:13:12,051 --> 00:13:13,684 What am I supposed to do? How are you even holding your pee? 399 00:13:13,719 --> 00:13:15,152 We've been stuck in here forever! 400 00:13:15,186 --> 00:13:16,787 Oh, I peed as soon as we got in the slide. 401 00:13:16,820 --> 00:13:17,860 - Me, too. - What?! 402 00:13:17,861 --> 00:13:18,661 (laughter) 403 00:13:18,688 --> 00:13:19,989 - Ew! - What?! 404 00:13:20,022 --> 00:13:21,322 These animals are, they're laughing! 405 00:13:21,357 --> 00:13:22,522 Of course they are! 406 00:13:22,557 --> 00:13:24,024 I think they're actually enjoying this shit! 407 00:13:24,059 --> 00:13:25,190 Oh, they love every second of it! 408 00:13:25,225 --> 00:13:26,390 - They're just pissing all over us! - Goddamn it. 409 00:13:26,426 --> 00:13:28,859 We're gonna die in here with them! 410 00:13:28,894 --> 00:13:30,461 Wait, wait, wait. Wait a second, Dee. 411 00:13:30,494 --> 00:13:32,527 - I've got an idea! - What? 412 00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:34,029 If we can get Sherman's mouth 413 00:13:34,064 --> 00:13:36,162 to this bracelet, we can get out of here. 414 00:13:36,199 --> 00:13:37,164 You said you couldn't rip through it. 415 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:38,165 No, I can't. 416 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:40,066 But Sherman can chew through it! 417 00:13:40,100 --> 00:13:42,066 Like the girl in the pool drain 418 00:13:42,103 --> 00:13:44,301 when she got her anus stuck, she chewed through 419 00:13:44,338 --> 00:13:47,405 her prolapsed anus and chewed herself to freedom. 420 00:13:47,439 --> 00:13:49,072 - What are you talking about?! - Sherman! 421 00:13:49,105 --> 00:13:50,871 Get your mouth to this bracelet and chew! 422 00:13:50,907 --> 00:13:52,005 Aw, screw it. Try it. 423 00:13:52,041 --> 00:13:53,308 Chew like you've never chewed before. 424 00:13:53,343 --> 00:13:54,743 Go, Sherman, chew! 425 00:13:54,777 --> 00:13:57,176 (indistinct chatter) 426 00:13:59,113 --> 00:14:00,112 Whoa! 427 00:14:01,379 --> 00:14:03,212 Whoa! Hey, hey, hey, hey! What are you doing? 428 00:14:03,248 --> 00:14:04,715 I got some boy to give me this. 429 00:14:04,748 --> 00:14:07,248 I said I'd kiss him if he met me in the parking lot. 430 00:14:07,282 --> 00:14:09,916 Then I swiped his wristband, so he can't get back in. 431 00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:11,016 (laughs) Nice. 432 00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:12,917 Thanks. Well, I got to roll. 433 00:14:12,954 --> 00:14:14,488 What do you mean? Where you going? 434 00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:15,920 We're just getting started. 435 00:14:15,955 --> 00:14:18,388 Yeah, but my mom said it's time to leave. 436 00:14:18,423 --> 00:14:20,721 DENNIS: Wow. 437 00:14:20,758 --> 00:14:23,022 That's a disappointing glimpse into your future. 438 00:14:23,060 --> 00:14:24,159 Now, why don't you tell your mom 439 00:14:24,194 --> 00:14:25,426 you want to stick around for a little while? 440 00:14:25,461 --> 00:14:26,493 That won't work. 441 00:14:26,528 --> 00:14:28,094 She never listens to me. 442 00:14:28,128 --> 00:14:30,194 Oh, now, see, no. That bothers me. 443 00:14:30,230 --> 00:14:33,231 A genius whose fate is controlled by an idiot? 444 00:14:33,266 --> 00:14:35,698 You think I'm a genius? 445 00:14:35,734 --> 00:14:37,267 Yes! Yes, I think you're a genius. 446 00:14:37,302 --> 00:14:38,602 Are you kidding me? 447 00:14:38,636 --> 00:14:40,202 When I was your age, I couldn't have accomplished 448 00:14:40,237 --> 00:14:41,704 half the things you did today. 449 00:14:41,737 --> 00:14:43,370 See, this is why the Chinese are destroying us. 450 00:14:43,406 --> 00:14:44,705 If you were born in China, 451 00:14:44,740 --> 00:14:46,374 you'd be the head of some factory by now. 452 00:14:47,474 --> 00:14:49,240 Or they would've thrown you in a river, 453 00:14:49,277 --> 00:14:50,877 'cause you weren't a boy. 454 00:14:50,910 --> 00:14:52,343 All right, it's not a great analogy, 455 00:14:52,378 --> 00:14:53,610 but you get my point. 456 00:14:53,644 --> 00:14:54,877 A-Abby... 457 00:14:54,912 --> 00:14:56,611 you deserve better. 458 00:14:56,647 --> 00:14:59,715 Here, I... I want you to have it. 459 00:14:59,748 --> 00:15:01,014 No, what do you mean? You earned that. 460 00:15:01,048 --> 00:15:02,415 No, please, take it. 461 00:15:02,450 --> 00:15:05,051 So you never forget me. 462 00:15:07,085 --> 00:15:08,885 Thanks, Dennis. 463 00:15:08,921 --> 00:15:12,156 For being the first adult to actually give a shit about me. 464 00:15:18,091 --> 00:15:19,258 DENNIS: You! 465 00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:20,893 Yes? 466 00:15:20,926 --> 00:15:22,057 We need to have a conversation. 467 00:15:22,094 --> 00:15:23,225 Your daughter is a special kid. 468 00:15:23,261 --> 00:15:25,796 A gifted child who should be treasured. 469 00:15:25,830 --> 00:15:28,061 If she were born in China, she... 470 00:15:28,098 --> 00:15:29,864 Wait, I already did that. 471 00:15:29,899 --> 00:15:30,898 Didn't work. 472 00:15:30,932 --> 00:15:32,697 If she were born in... 473 00:15:32,734 --> 00:15:34,900 What country treasures their women? 474 00:15:34,936 --> 00:15:37,201 - What are you talking about? - What am I talking about? 475 00:15:37,238 --> 00:15:39,237 Mom, can I have a slushy? 476 00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:40,704 Yes, in just a minute. 477 00:15:40,738 --> 00:15:41,936 Is that Abby's brother? 478 00:15:41,973 --> 00:15:43,070 I don't have a daughter. 479 00:15:43,105 --> 00:15:44,407 Yes, you do. The girl that was just... 480 00:15:47,676 --> 00:15:49,841 ABBY: Please take it. 481 00:15:52,513 --> 00:15:54,211 So you never forget me. 482 00:15:54,247 --> 00:15:57,680 DENNIS: See, an artist takes whatever he wants... 483 00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:00,015 ...when somebody's looking right at him. 484 00:16:06,253 --> 00:16:08,119 What is wrong with you? Why are you...? 485 00:16:08,157 --> 00:16:09,590 (shushing) 486 00:16:12,758 --> 00:16:15,191 (quietly): Huh. 487 00:16:16,359 --> 00:16:18,292 (Charlie whistles) 488 00:16:18,329 --> 00:16:20,061 How would you even describe something like that? 489 00:16:20,096 --> 00:16:21,496 It's so beautiful. 490 00:16:21,531 --> 00:16:23,330 They should've sent a poet. 491 00:16:23,364 --> 00:16:25,463 - All right, let's go, let's go. - Okay. 492 00:16:25,499 --> 00:16:26,630 - All right, all right. - Okay. 493 00:16:26,666 --> 00:16:29,267 - Here we go. - (laughing) 494 00:16:29,301 --> 00:16:30,499 Oh, oh. 495 00:16:30,536 --> 00:16:31,936 All right. 496 00:16:31,969 --> 00:16:33,133 This should be good, right? 497 00:16:33,170 --> 00:16:34,168 Oh, that's great. 498 00:16:34,204 --> 00:16:35,303 - That'll do it. - Oh! 499 00:16:35,339 --> 00:16:36,638 Who's going first? 500 00:16:36,671 --> 00:16:39,139 Well, it should be you, right? 501 00:16:39,173 --> 00:16:40,506 I mean, you pulled off the AIDS thing. 502 00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:42,507 Oh, Charlie! Charlie! 503 00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:43,609 All right! 504 00:16:43,644 --> 00:16:44,742 Let's go before we get caught. 505 00:16:44,778 --> 00:16:45,743 Let's go before we get busted, okay? 506 00:16:45,776 --> 00:16:46,741 - All right, here we go. - All right. 507 00:16:46,776 --> 00:16:48,143 - All right. - Ready, Frankie! 508 00:16:48,178 --> 00:16:49,910 - I won't let you down! - All right! 509 00:16:49,946 --> 00:16:52,178 - I like the spirit here. - Oh! 510 00:16:52,215 --> 00:16:54,415 - (squeaking) - Oh, it burns! It burns! It burns! It burns! 511 00:16:54,451 --> 00:16:56,250 Aah! 512 00:16:56,283 --> 00:16:58,382 (shouting) 513 00:17:01,821 --> 00:17:02,986 (shouts) 514 00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,589 My back! 515 00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:05,689 That guy has AIDS! 516 00:17:05,724 --> 00:17:07,821 Aah! Aah, my back! 517 00:17:07,857 --> 00:17:09,357 (crowd clamoring) 518 00:17:10,318 --> 00:17:11,927 AIDS! Everybody out. 519 00:17:11,961 --> 00:17:13,428 Aah! Aah! 520 00:17:13,461 --> 00:17:15,359 - (Frank grunting) - (crowd clamoring) 521 00:17:20,965 --> 00:17:21,929 We're free! 522 00:17:21,965 --> 00:17:22,930 Oh, my God! 523 00:17:22,966 --> 00:17:23,931 Ah, we're free! 524 00:17:23,967 --> 00:17:25,200 My God! 525 00:17:25,697 --> 00:17:26,534 Is that blood? 526 00:17:26,570 --> 00:17:28,035 There's AIDS blood in the pool! 527 00:17:28,069 --> 00:17:29,368 That's goddamn AIDS blood?! 528 00:17:29,404 --> 00:17:30,936 (crowd screaming) 529 00:17:30,970 --> 00:17:32,803 Has anyone seen my son? 530 00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:34,106 Goddamn it! 531 00:17:34,139 --> 00:17:36,608 I hate this goddamn water park! 532 00:17:36,641 --> 00:17:39,040 (dramatic music playing) 533 00:17:56,106 --> 00:17:57,306 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com 38316

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