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1
00:00:10,829 --> 00:00:15,829
Subtitles by explosiveskull
2
00:00:41,065 --> 00:00:45,829
Woo ha-ha, party time!
3
00:00:45,831 --> 00:00:48,764
Woah, woah, woah, woah
slow down!
4
00:00:54,798 --> 00:00:55,797
Whoo!
5
00:00:56,532 --> 00:00:57,765
This is insane!
6
00:01:02,364 --> 00:01:08,199
Watch out! Slow down
slow down! You're gonna crash!
7
00:01:23,864 --> 00:01:25,463
How can you afford this?
8
00:01:25,465 --> 00:01:27,296
This is some
Jane Eyre shit this.
9
00:01:27,298 --> 00:01:30,133
You've got pillars! I thought
only the Roman's had pillars!
10
00:01:31,032 --> 00:01:33,499
Right. Get down.
11
00:01:49,932 --> 00:01:51,767
You show me up to your
room, uh, sweetheart.
12
00:01:53,164 --> 00:01:54,600
Okay.
13
00:01:58,933 --> 00:02:00,033
Goodnight, lovebirds.
14
00:02:09,933 --> 00:02:11,533
And then there where two.
15
00:02:18,199 --> 00:02:20,300
You are in so much trouble.
16
00:02:23,033 --> 00:02:25,134
I like you so much.
17
00:02:30,667 --> 00:02:32,934
That's, totally cool.
18
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:04,000
What the fuck?
19
00:03:40,868 --> 00:03:44,199
Jesus Kit, you promised
and quick and painless!
20
00:03:44,201 --> 00:03:46,633
I'm going as fast as I can!
21
00:03:46,635 --> 00:03:47,932
Come here.
22
00:03:47,934 --> 00:03:50,033
Come here, come here,
come here. You silly sausage.
23
00:03:50,035 --> 00:03:53,035
Remember your breathing,
in through your nose.
24
00:03:55,302 --> 00:03:58,466
And out through your mouth.
And again and again.
25
00:04:00,069 --> 00:04:01,533
That's good, yeah, yeah.
26
00:04:01,535 --> 00:04:04,099
Butterfly kiss
butterfly kiss.
27
00:04:04,101 --> 00:04:05,101
Good.
28
00:04:06,102 --> 00:04:07,400
Have you done yours?
29
00:04:07,402 --> 00:04:08,568
No.
30
00:04:20,168 --> 00:04:21,669
Your friend passed out.
31
00:04:23,502 --> 00:04:25,302
Looks like
it's your lucky night.
32
00:06:44,306 --> 00:06:45,673
Ginger bollocks!
33
00:06:47,137 --> 00:06:49,703
Sorry mate can I just go
stand next to my friend.
34
00:06:49,705 --> 00:06:51,170
He's my pal.
35
00:06:51,172 --> 00:06:54,673
- What are you doing here?
- I'm on a work do, oh my fucking good night.
36
00:06:55,672 --> 00:06:56,969
Where's Michelle?
37
00:06:56,971 --> 00:06:59,503
Oh, she's late,
you know what she's like.
38
00:06:59,505 --> 00:07:00,569
A bitch.
39
00:07:00,571 --> 00:07:02,670
What?
40
00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:05,636
Look right, I didn't really want
to tell you this mate but...
41
00:07:05,638 --> 00:07:08,873
But Shitface said he saw her snogging
someone outside The Dolphin the other week.
42
00:07:11,039 --> 00:07:13,839
Why would I believe someone
called Shitface okay, that's...
43
00:07:14,471 --> 00:07:15,903
Anyway me and Michelle,
44
00:07:15,905 --> 00:07:18,570
you wouldn't understand we've got
something amazing, something special.
45
00:07:18,572 --> 00:07:19,573
Yeah.
46
00:07:21,138 --> 00:07:22,502
She just dumped me.
47
00:07:22,504 --> 00:07:24,272
Oh, but she put a kiss at the
end, that's nice of her, innit?
48
00:07:26,339 --> 00:07:28,104
Who gives a fuck man?
49
00:07:28,106 --> 00:07:30,106
At least you got your end away,
got that monkey off your back, eh?
50
00:07:31,373 --> 00:07:32,372
Yep.
51
00:07:34,473 --> 00:07:35,973
You didn't do anything
with her, did ya?
52
00:07:37,804 --> 00:07:39,573
Three months
you were with her boss.
53
00:07:40,172 --> 00:07:42,739
We did stuff. Okay.
54
00:07:44,105 --> 00:07:46,139
Sexy stuff, all right
but just not,
55
00:07:46,939 --> 00:07:48,303
that.
56
00:07:48,305 --> 00:07:50,173
What are you waiting for,
the honeymoon?
57
00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:53,172
Look.
58
00:07:54,206 --> 00:07:56,336
I've got this problem, okay?
59
00:07:56,338 --> 00:08:00,038
This thing it just happens
when I get close to...
60
00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:02,337
Look mate I go through exactly
the same thing, brother.
61
00:08:02,339 --> 00:08:04,204
Nothing to be
embarrassed about.
62
00:08:04,206 --> 00:08:06,304
I take this thing
called Viagras,
63
00:08:06,306 --> 00:08:07,972
I swear to ya,
it's like a wrench man.
64
00:08:07,974 --> 00:08:11,171
No, idiot, it's not that.
That's fine.
65
00:08:11,173 --> 00:08:15,538
It's more of a sort of,
mental panic, thing.
66
00:08:15,540 --> 00:08:17,205
Right I said that to you
cause you're my pal
67
00:08:17,207 --> 00:08:18,571
and I wanted to make
you feel good man.
68
00:08:18,573 --> 00:08:19,574
I'm always hard.
69
00:08:21,007 --> 00:08:22,805
Good talk, thanks Alex.
I'm off.
70
00:08:22,807 --> 00:08:24,174
Hang on there
one minute mate, please.
71
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,705
You turn 30
on Sunday don't ya?
72
00:08:27,707 --> 00:08:29,137
Yeah, thanks for reminding me.
73
00:08:29,139 --> 00:08:30,706
Right well,
I promise you now,
74
00:08:30,708 --> 00:08:33,638
you're gonna lose your virginity
before you're 30. I promise.
75
00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:36,272
And do I ever break promises?
No, I never do, do I?
76
00:08:36,274 --> 00:08:38,472
This is my present
to you, my brother.
77
00:08:38,474 --> 00:08:40,271
- Thanks.
- Thing is we've only got a couple of days to work
78
00:08:40,273 --> 00:08:41,972
with so we gotta work fast.
79
00:08:41,974 --> 00:08:45,106
- Alex, mate. Alex, Alex.
- How about...
80
00:08:46,007 --> 00:08:48,506
- That'n right there.
- Alex no, Alex,
81
00:08:48,508 --> 00:08:49,939
Alex, where are you going?
82
00:08:49,941 --> 00:08:51,005
Trust me, mate.
83
00:08:51,007 --> 00:08:52,305
I hate to brag,
I really do
84
00:08:52,307 --> 00:08:54,008
but do you know what the lads
have started calling me at work?
85
00:08:54,974 --> 00:08:56,504
The dick.
86
00:08:56,506 --> 00:08:59,308
No Alex, I don't think that's
why they call you that... Shit.
87
00:09:19,208 --> 00:09:21,138
Right, we've got a crier.
88
00:09:21,140 --> 00:09:22,674
What did you say to her?
89
00:09:22,676 --> 00:09:25,008
It's not my fault, mate. She lost her
husband or something, I don't know.
90
00:09:25,674 --> 00:09:26,806
Really? That's terrible.
91
00:09:26,808 --> 00:09:28,173
That's why she's on her own.
92
00:09:28,175 --> 00:09:29,840
Fucking brilliant, innit?
93
00:09:29,842 --> 00:09:30,842
What you on about?
94
00:09:31,509 --> 00:09:32,509
Come on, love.
95
00:09:33,841 --> 00:09:34,974
You still
invited her over?
96
00:09:34,976 --> 00:09:36,672
I insisted, she come over,
she's lost her husband,
97
00:09:36,674 --> 00:09:38,807
- have a heart man, seriously.
- Oh, Jesus.
98
00:09:38,809 --> 00:09:39,873
Alex, you're a...
99
00:09:39,875 --> 00:09:41,173
Hiya, love.
100
00:09:41,175 --> 00:09:42,272
Oh, god.
101
00:09:42,274 --> 00:09:44,373
This way,
oh, watch yourself.
102
00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:46,043
Right, I'm gonna leave
you love birds to it.
103
00:09:49,276 --> 00:09:50,275
Hi.
104
00:09:59,842 --> 00:10:00,842
Uh...
105
00:10:03,376 --> 00:10:07,476
Sorry, I miss him
so much.
106
00:10:08,542 --> 00:10:09,673
Jesus.
107
00:10:12,441 --> 00:10:13,542
Am I sexy?
108
00:10:14,108 --> 00:10:15,906
Of course, you are.
109
00:10:15,908 --> 00:10:17,707
Yes I am.
110
00:10:17,709 --> 00:10:18,807
Yeah.
111
00:10:18,809 --> 00:10:20,442
Do you wanna
have sex with me?
112
00:10:20,842 --> 00:10:22,008
Do I, what?
113
00:10:22,508 --> 00:10:23,740
Whoa, hey. You okay?
114
00:10:23,742 --> 00:10:24,840
Um...
115
00:10:24,842 --> 00:10:25,907
I am sexy.
116
00:10:25,909 --> 00:10:26,909
Oh, okay, okay.
117
00:10:28,142 --> 00:10:30,008
Jennifer, Jennifer.
Why don't we...
118
00:10:30,010 --> 00:10:32,274
Shall we get you,
get you into a cab, get you home?
119
00:10:32,276 --> 00:10:34,474
- For sex?
- No, no, no, just get you home, yeah?
120
00:10:34,476 --> 00:10:35,574
Yeah?
121
00:10:35,576 --> 00:10:36,576
I feel a bit sick.
122
00:10:38,443 --> 00:10:41,877
Okay. Here we go,
here's the nice cab driver.
123
00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:44,108
Hello, mate.
124
00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:45,110
She all right?
125
00:10:49,477 --> 00:10:50,576
She's a bit tipsy.
126
00:10:52,477 --> 00:10:55,208
If that girl is sick in this
car, you're cleaning it up, pal.
127
00:10:55,210 --> 00:10:56,308
With your bare hands.
128
00:10:56,310 --> 00:10:58,343
- I've been sick.
- Yeah, it's all right. Cheers.
129
00:11:04,476 --> 00:11:05,577
Weasley Street.
130
00:11:09,744 --> 00:11:10,744
Wait, wait, oh, wait. Jesus.
131
00:11:11,476 --> 00:11:13,441
Here we go.
132
00:11:13,443 --> 00:11:14,510
A little sit down.
133
00:11:15,744 --> 00:11:17,176
Yeah, there we go.
134
00:11:19,644 --> 00:11:22,508
One step, two steps.
135
00:11:22,510 --> 00:11:23,510
Jennifer!
136
00:11:23,843 --> 00:11:25,175
I gotcha.
137
00:11:25,177 --> 00:11:27,975
- There we go, one last, one last thing, oh God.
- No...
138
00:11:27,977 --> 00:11:31,110
Here it is, there it is.
139
00:11:32,544 --> 00:11:34,476
Come on, that's it!
140
00:11:36,977 --> 00:11:39,109
Sierra two nine.
Suspect in sight.
141
00:11:39,111 --> 00:11:41,478
Hi.
142
00:12:19,044 --> 00:12:20,144
Mama.
143
00:12:30,445 --> 00:12:31,978
Story checks out,
you're free to go.
144
00:12:34,446 --> 00:12:36,378
Just maybe stick to conscious
girls in the future, yeah?
145
00:12:39,479 --> 00:12:41,512
I will, thank you, Officer.
146
00:12:44,877 --> 00:12:46,277
Right, so
what happened last night?
147
00:12:46,279 --> 00:12:48,143
At least tell me you
at least got a blowy off her.
148
00:12:48,145 --> 00:12:49,209
No.
149
00:12:49,211 --> 00:12:50,510
Why?
150
00:12:50,512 --> 00:12:51,847
She was crying.
151
00:12:53,913 --> 00:12:55,680
About the recent death
of her husband.
152
00:12:57,913 --> 00:12:59,080
She was going like this.
153
00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:04,713
Please,
please have sex with me.
154
00:13:05,378 --> 00:13:06,710
Is that a turn on for you?
155
00:13:06,712 --> 00:13:07,810
Little bit, yeah.
156
00:13:07,812 --> 00:13:11,813
Please, help me.
157
00:13:12,379 --> 00:13:14,211
That's what I'm gonna do.
158
00:13:14,213 --> 00:13:16,511
That's why we're here
doing this chat thing.
159
00:13:16,513 --> 00:13:18,676
All right, gays.
Mind if I join?
160
00:13:18,678 --> 00:13:20,111
Actually, Laura,
we're kinda of...
161
00:13:20,113 --> 00:13:22,344
So my boyfriend's band is playing this
gig tonight, you guys should come.
162
00:13:22,346 --> 00:13:24,644
Your boyfriend's in
a band called Crabs, eh?
163
00:13:24,646 --> 00:13:25,877
It's KRABS.
164
00:13:25,879 --> 00:13:28,210
Okay, well make sure he bags up
then by the sounds of things.
165
00:13:28,212 --> 00:13:30,177
Oh, well, actually,
we're not having sex.
166
00:13:30,179 --> 00:13:32,612
Oh for fucks sake.
Is everyone going mad?
167
00:13:32,614 --> 00:13:34,310
Uh, no, it's John's idea.
168
00:13:34,312 --> 00:13:37,712
Yeah, we're gonna wait until,
we really know each other.
169
00:13:37,714 --> 00:13:43,310
John is a modern, y'know sensitive,
intelligent, beautiful, artist.
170
00:13:43,312 --> 00:13:44,714
You know,
I think it's beautiful.
171
00:13:49,747 --> 00:13:51,681
- Ah, all right, Frankie.
- All right, Laura.
172
00:13:52,846 --> 00:13:53,880
Oh, hang on.
173
00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:57,977
Cheers.
174
00:13:57,979 --> 00:13:59,212
Jees!
175
00:13:59,214 --> 00:14:00,912
- Thanks nice one, mate.
- No worries, see you later.
176
00:14:00,914 --> 00:14:01,913
Laura?
177
00:14:04,281 --> 00:14:05,545
Oh, oh, do you want some?
178
00:14:05,547 --> 00:14:07,378
I've just spent
the night in jail.
179
00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:09,444
I wasn't really planning
on going back any time soon.
180
00:14:09,446 --> 00:14:11,712
Sexually assaulting a drunken widow,
terrible business, it really is.
181
00:14:11,714 --> 00:14:14,044
- That's not funny man.
- What?
182
00:14:14,046 --> 00:14:15,211
It's not his fault though, eh,
183
00:14:15,213 --> 00:14:16,512
that's what happens
when you go 29 years
184
00:14:16,514 --> 00:14:18,044
without so much as a woman
even sneezing on your dick.
185
00:14:18,046 --> 00:14:19,612
Alex! Will you shut...
186
00:14:19,614 --> 00:14:21,680
Oh, my God.
You're still a virgin!
187
00:14:21,682 --> 00:14:26,512
Okay. Thanks for a really lovely day.
I'm gonna go and kill myself.
188
00:14:26,514 --> 00:14:28,281
Oh, no, Jim. Jim, look,
look, listen.
189
00:15:04,648 --> 00:15:06,280
My God, did you see that?
They stared right at me.
190
00:15:06,282 --> 00:15:07,516
They keep staring
at you, mate.
191
00:15:09,682 --> 00:15:11,146
Oh, Jesus.
Oh God, oh God.
192
00:15:11,148 --> 00:15:13,147
Fuck it, this is your time,
this is your day.
193
00:15:13,149 --> 00:15:15,179
I'm gonna go through
the ABCs with you right now.
194
00:15:15,181 --> 00:15:17,246
You Act, you Blag
and you Check out.
195
00:15:17,248 --> 00:15:20,012
No matter how scared you are,
you force yourself up there.
196
00:15:20,014 --> 00:15:22,245
And you blag it,
you don't think you blag.
197
00:15:22,247 --> 00:15:23,546
You pretend
you're somebody else.
198
00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:26,179
Someone you've always wanted
to be like a spy or a fireman.
199
00:15:26,181 --> 00:15:29,245
You can be James fucking Bond I don't
give a shit. But you gotta blag it.
200
00:15:29,247 --> 00:15:31,914
Once you've got them on the
hook, that's when you check out.
201
00:15:31,916 --> 00:15:33,247
Don't stay there too long.
202
00:15:33,249 --> 00:15:35,180
It'll leave them
gagging for it.
203
00:15:35,182 --> 00:15:36,446
I think I'm gonna be sick.
204
00:15:36,448 --> 00:15:38,081
Sick with lust obviously.
205
00:15:40,149 --> 00:15:42,180
All right fuck it, I tell you what, you
get up there and you buy yourself a drink
206
00:15:42,182 --> 00:15:45,247
but make sure it's got ice in it. Get
one of the icicles out and you smash it.
207
00:15:45,249 --> 00:15:47,146
Once you've smashed it turn to the
girls and you go 'all right, girls, '
208
00:15:47,148 --> 00:15:48,346
and you go, "Hola, girls.
209
00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:50,513
"now that I've broken the
ice, can I buy you a drink?"
210
00:15:50,515 --> 00:15:51,681
Piece of piss off you pop.
211
00:15:51,683 --> 00:15:54,480
Literally no one has ever
fallen for that shit.
212
00:15:54,482 --> 00:15:55,847
Don't listen
to this fucking idiot.
213
00:15:55,849 --> 00:15:57,313
Works every time dude.
214
00:15:57,315 --> 00:15:59,381
They think they'll hate it but deep
inside themselves they love it trust me.
215
00:15:59,383 --> 00:16:02,849
Just wait this is a lot of information
to take in at once okay. So...
216
00:16:03,879 --> 00:16:04,847
Don't think, act.
217
00:16:04,849 --> 00:16:07,181
Hey, stop bullying him,
can't you see the boy is scared?
218
00:16:07,183 --> 00:16:11,317
I'm not a boy, Laura.
I'm, I'm a man.
219
00:16:17,348 --> 00:16:18,349
Oh, my God.
220
00:16:38,549 --> 00:16:40,450
Barman, can I have
a lemonade please?
221
00:16:41,849 --> 00:16:43,450
With ice! Sorry.
222
00:16:44,984 --> 00:16:45,983
Hi.
223
00:16:47,150 --> 00:16:48,150
Nice one, thanks.
224
00:16:49,849 --> 00:16:50,850
Jesus.
225
00:16:52,982 --> 00:16:54,649
Jesus Christ.
226
00:16:54,651 --> 00:16:55,851
Slippery.
227
00:16:59,982 --> 00:17:01,614
Shit! I'm so sorry!
228
00:17:01,616 --> 00:17:02,782
- Did that...
- That's...
229
00:17:02,784 --> 00:17:03,848
- ...hit you in the eye.
- That's fine...
230
00:17:03,850 --> 00:17:06,015
No. No, I'm fine.
231
00:17:06,017 --> 00:17:10,551
Okay well, uh,
now that I've smashed the ice... cube.
232
00:17:11,918 --> 00:17:13,881
Can I, can I buy you a drink?
233
00:17:13,883 --> 00:17:16,148
Um, we've already got drinks.
234
00:17:16,150 --> 00:17:17,782
Yes, you do.
What are you rocking there?
235
00:17:17,784 --> 00:17:19,216
Are you bleeding?
236
00:17:19,218 --> 00:17:21,648
Little bit. It's fine.
I'll just...
237
00:17:21,650 --> 00:17:23,482
Probably should have stamped
on it with my foot.
238
00:17:23,484 --> 00:17:24,549
Blag it!
239
00:17:24,551 --> 00:17:26,518
I spy on people.
240
00:17:27,984 --> 00:17:32,082
- Okay.
- Not. No, not like in a creepy way.
241
00:17:32,084 --> 00:17:36,783
More like, uh,
James Bond 007, thing.
242
00:17:36,785 --> 00:17:39,483
Ooh that's,
that's pretty cool.
243
00:17:39,485 --> 00:17:41,082
He's dying up there,
do something.
244
00:17:41,084 --> 00:17:42,182
Yeah, he is, isn't he?
245
00:17:42,184 --> 00:17:45,650
So, I'm gonna go,
I'm really busy.
246
00:17:45,652 --> 00:17:48,449
Spying and stuff...
247
00:17:48,451 --> 00:17:49,818
...talk to you later.
248
00:17:55,251 --> 00:17:56,719
My dog is heavy.
249
00:17:57,685 --> 00:17:59,786
You look like anglers.
250
00:18:01,318 --> 00:18:02,319
Oh, shit.
251
00:18:04,385 --> 00:18:07,850
Sorry.
My God in Heaven you look like angels.
252
00:18:07,852 --> 00:18:09,417
Well...
253
00:18:11,318 --> 00:18:14,686
Would you like to go out
for a fuck time in lotion?
254
00:18:17,053 --> 00:18:18,485
I'm bad at this.
255
00:18:20,151 --> 00:18:23,852
Fun! Sorry.
Fun time in London.
256
00:18:24,152 --> 00:18:25,518
Yeah.
257
00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:28,650
Yeah, yeah, we'd love to.
Wouldn't we?
258
00:18:28,652 --> 00:18:29,716
Yeah.
259
00:18:29,718 --> 00:18:31,716
You, love, what?
260
00:18:31,718 --> 00:18:34,019
Yeah, just, you know,
tell us when and where.
261
00:18:35,085 --> 00:18:36,817
Oh, good, brilliant.
262
00:18:37,885 --> 00:18:41,186
I'll just go and tell
my sexy friend over there.
263
00:18:42,419 --> 00:18:43,419
Hey.
264
00:18:44,418 --> 00:18:45,552
Walk away.
265
00:18:48,853 --> 00:18:51,818
Oh, that's for me.
266
00:18:51,820 --> 00:18:54,483
I'm gonna...
catch you in a bit.
267
00:18:54,485 --> 00:18:55,617
Okay.
268
00:18:55,619 --> 00:18:56,619
Bye.
269
00:19:04,087 --> 00:19:06,720
Breathe, breathe, breathe
ready for tonight then.
270
00:19:07,220 --> 00:19:08,652
I can't do it, mate.
271
00:19:09,187 --> 00:19:10,351
What?
272
00:19:10,353 --> 00:19:13,085
I'm
having a panic attack, mate.
273
00:19:13,087 --> 00:19:14,617
It doesn't make
any sense, does it?
274
00:19:14,619 --> 00:19:16,318
Why would these
two beautiful women
275
00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:18,220
just turn up out of the blue
and be interested in us?
276
00:19:19,718 --> 00:19:22,784
You've got to stop questioning
stuff all the time man, seriously.
277
00:19:22,786 --> 00:19:24,152
Sometimes a bit of luck
comes your way
278
00:19:24,154 --> 00:19:26,720
you've got to grab it with both
hands like it won't come round again.
279
00:19:27,653 --> 00:19:29,084
I'm going.
280
00:19:29,086 --> 00:19:31,085
- What are you running from?
- Jesus.
281
00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:32,785
These girls wanna
break our dicks off
282
00:19:32,787 --> 00:19:34,719
and you want to stay in here
with your finger up your bum bum.
283
00:19:34,721 --> 00:19:35,721
Come on, man.
284
00:19:37,786 --> 00:19:38,787
I'll do it.
285
00:19:46,653 --> 00:19:47,653
Kitty?
286
00:19:50,353 --> 00:19:51,353
Kit?
287
00:19:52,820 --> 00:19:54,252
Kitty?
288
00:19:59,552 --> 00:20:01,319
Kit, where are you?
289
00:20:08,954 --> 00:20:10,219
Kit?
290
00:20:14,688 --> 00:20:15,785
Kit?
291
00:20:29,022 --> 00:20:30,618
How did you do that?
292
00:20:38,687 --> 00:20:40,552
You all right, Lu?
293
00:20:40,554 --> 00:20:41,886
What was that all about?
294
00:20:44,254 --> 00:20:45,255
Nothing.
295
00:21:00,722 --> 00:21:02,319
Up here, Neil?
296
00:21:02,321 --> 00:21:05,019
Nice one matey,
see you soon.
297
00:21:06,555 --> 00:21:08,988
Are you ready for the
night of your fucking...
298
00:21:10,322 --> 00:21:11,322
What you doing?
299
00:21:13,154 --> 00:21:14,220
T-Rex.
300
00:21:14,222 --> 00:21:15,522
Almost finished.
301
00:21:18,421 --> 00:21:19,590
Fuck that off.
Come on.
302
00:21:22,122 --> 00:21:23,353
I'm not going.
303
00:21:23,355 --> 00:21:24,419
You what?
304
00:21:24,421 --> 00:21:25,989
They were clearly
taking the piss.
305
00:21:27,023 --> 00:21:28,187
What's going on now,
306
00:21:28,189 --> 00:21:29,721
what's happened to you?
Why've you had a change of heart?
307
00:21:29,723 --> 00:21:30,723
Girls like that don't...
308
00:21:34,788 --> 00:21:37,023
Maybe it's just not
meant to happen, okay.
309
00:21:38,656 --> 00:21:40,357
I've tried everything, mate.
310
00:21:41,190 --> 00:21:42,953
I even went on this...
311
00:21:42,955 --> 00:21:44,787
I even went
on this dating website
312
00:21:44,789 --> 00:21:47,854
specifically for virgins
and I got one response.
313
00:21:47,856 --> 00:21:49,723
From a 12-year-old
Chinese boy.
314
00:21:51,356 --> 00:21:52,356
Yeah.
315
00:21:54,590 --> 00:21:56,387
Look, boss,
I know you're scared.
316
00:21:56,389 --> 00:21:57,889
Do you want
to know a secret?
317
00:21:58,790 --> 00:22:00,221
We're all fucking scared, man
318
00:22:00,223 --> 00:22:02,520
and being a bloke is just
pretending that we're not.
319
00:22:02,522 --> 00:22:04,153
The only reason
why you're so afraid is
320
00:22:04,155 --> 00:22:05,388
because it's taken
you so long
321
00:22:05,390 --> 00:22:08,320
and you've made this fucking
mad weird mountain in your head.
322
00:22:08,322 --> 00:22:11,156
I'll climb it with you boss,
I'll come with ya. I'll be your Sherpa.
323
00:22:13,656 --> 00:22:15,854
What's that?
Put it down man.
324
00:22:15,856 --> 00:22:18,587
Put that fucking shit down, man.
Get here...
325
00:22:18,589 --> 00:22:19,721
What?
326
00:22:19,723 --> 00:22:22,021
Just look at yourself man.
Just look at yourself.
327
00:22:22,023 --> 00:22:24,888
Got a blemish-less pale face
like a Tudor lady.
328
00:22:24,890 --> 00:22:26,121
You've got a broad back.
329
00:22:26,123 --> 00:22:27,421
You've got wonderful titties...
330
00:22:27,423 --> 00:22:30,154
And you've got beautiful,
big ginger bollocks.
331
00:22:30,156 --> 00:22:32,956
- Fuck off!
- There's the smile I'm after!
332
00:22:32,958 --> 00:22:35,188
They're just girls, man.
What's there to be afraid of?
333
00:23:13,824 --> 00:23:15,388
Yeah!
334
00:23:15,390 --> 00:23:16,859
Wooo!
335
00:23:19,491 --> 00:23:20,692
See that?
336
00:23:30,591 --> 00:23:32,422
You do want to see
him again don't ya?
337
00:23:32,424 --> 00:23:33,755
Yeah,
of course I do.
338
00:23:33,757 --> 00:23:36,391
Well, you know
what we've got to do.
339
00:23:37,890 --> 00:23:39,559
Look, I know
you're scared, baby Lu.
340
00:23:40,692 --> 00:23:42,323
But we're so close now.
341
00:23:42,325 --> 00:23:45,825
Well, I know
that it's, it's just...
342
00:23:47,291 --> 00:23:48,490
Sometimes
you just get so...
343
00:23:48,492 --> 00:23:49,491
What?
344
00:23:50,325 --> 00:23:51,325
Nothing.
345
00:23:52,292 --> 00:23:53,960
You're a big girl now.
346
00:23:55,425 --> 00:23:57,326
He's not going to believe
how much you've grown up.
347
00:24:47,159 --> 00:24:48,160
Big night.
348
00:24:52,026 --> 00:24:53,657
Just think,
349
00:24:53,659 --> 00:24:56,191
in a few hours.
350
00:24:56,193 --> 00:24:59,658
Everything's going to be back
to the way it was before, yeah?
351
00:24:59,660 --> 00:25:02,493
Just the three of us,
all together again.
352
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:05,161
Doesn't that sound good?
353
00:25:07,725 --> 00:25:10,158
You know, this will work.
354
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:11,961
We've done
everything he taught us.
355
00:25:12,994 --> 00:25:14,524
You do trust me, don't you?
356
00:25:14,526 --> 00:25:15,591
Yeah.
357
00:25:15,593 --> 00:25:17,293
No, no,
of course I do.
358
00:25:23,959 --> 00:25:27,962
Come on then, Cinderella.
Let's get you to the ball!
359
00:25:32,428 --> 00:25:33,825
This is all
we've got to work with?
360
00:25:33,827 --> 00:25:37,725
All right, well,
so, corduroy.
361
00:25:37,727 --> 00:25:39,361
- Absolutely not.
- Okay.
362
00:25:55,494 --> 00:25:57,859
- That's nice.
- Sort of says to me, alcoholic,
363
00:25:57,861 --> 00:26:00,293
mid-fifties,
not having a great time.
364
00:26:00,295 --> 00:26:02,692
1980's skinhead.
365
00:26:02,694 --> 00:26:04,359
- Right.
- Slightly racist.
366
00:26:04,361 --> 00:26:06,960
Oh, hello,
oh, you know what?
367
00:26:06,962 --> 00:26:09,727
You look like a...
I don't know, you look like a beacon!
368
00:26:09,729 --> 00:26:11,392
- Yeah. No, that's, that's awful.
- It's really itchy,
369
00:26:11,394 --> 00:26:12,828
- Yeah, rid it, rid it.
- it's really, really itchy.
370
00:26:31,762 --> 00:26:33,658
Best of a bad bunch
here brother, so...
371
00:26:33,660 --> 00:26:35,329
- Burgundy really?
- Trust me.
372
00:26:36,894 --> 00:26:40,693
- Ahh! Magnifique, Monsieur!
- Yeah, man?
373
00:26:40,695 --> 00:26:41,760
- Yeah, man!
- Really?
374
00:26:41,762 --> 00:26:43,027
These are my work trousers.
375
00:26:43,029 --> 00:26:44,726
Don't matter
that's all we've got.
376
00:26:44,728 --> 00:26:46,293
Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
377
00:26:46,295 --> 00:26:48,294
They feel a bit snug
around my bollocks.
378
00:26:48,296 --> 00:26:50,063
- Ooh. Shit!
- Ooh, yeah, baby!
379
00:27:22,597 --> 00:27:23,597
Syringe.
380
00:27:24,129 --> 00:27:25,129
Check.
381
00:27:25,997 --> 00:27:27,597
Breath.
382
00:27:28,296 --> 00:27:29,360
That's fine.
383
00:27:29,362 --> 00:27:30,363
Chloroform.
384
00:27:31,164 --> 00:27:32,164
Check.
385
00:27:33,397 --> 00:27:35,297
- Let's see if you've shaved your balls.
- Yes, I have.
386
00:27:36,329 --> 00:27:37,330
Knife.
387
00:27:39,029 --> 00:27:40,029
Check.
388
00:27:40,763 --> 00:27:41,763
Packed condoms.
389
00:27:42,563 --> 00:27:43,696
Already wearing mine.
390
00:27:44,829 --> 00:27:45,829
Okay,
391
00:27:46,564 --> 00:27:47,664
let's do this.
392
00:28:07,930 --> 00:28:09,194
Which one am I going for?
393
00:28:09,196 --> 00:28:10,560
Whichever one
you want, boss,
394
00:28:10,562 --> 00:28:12,061
it's your night.
I'm just a wingman.
395
00:28:12,063 --> 00:28:14,694
Remember
you're a sexy bastard.
396
00:28:14,696 --> 00:28:15,961
Right, here they come.
397
00:28:15,963 --> 00:28:18,695
Remember, crank up the sexiness
straight from the start.
398
00:28:18,697 --> 00:28:19,997
Yeah, we don't have
time to fuck about.
399
00:28:20,696 --> 00:28:22,064
You're a sexy bitch.
400
00:28:22,563 --> 00:28:23,828
What are you?
401
00:28:23,830 --> 00:28:25,161
Sexy bitch?
402
00:28:25,163 --> 00:28:26,164
Good.
403
00:28:27,662 --> 00:28:28,927
Ladies.
404
00:28:28,929 --> 00:28:32,894
Hey, boys.
Ready to paint the town red?
405
00:28:32,896 --> 00:28:34,931
Yes, we flipping well
are, aren't we, Jim?
406
00:28:35,365 --> 00:28:36,565
Yeah, big style.
407
00:28:39,331 --> 00:28:40,695
Do you want a drink?
408
00:28:40,697 --> 00:28:42,165
Yeah,
I'll come with ya.
409
00:28:44,898 --> 00:28:45,898
Take a seat.
410
00:28:49,697 --> 00:28:50,698
Take a seat.
411
00:29:15,998 --> 00:29:17,229
So, you're sisters then?
412
00:29:17,231 --> 00:29:19,731
Yeah, sorry,
yeah, yeah.
413
00:29:20,731 --> 00:29:21,732
Cool,
414
00:29:22,932 --> 00:29:24,098
that's cool.
415
00:29:31,897 --> 00:29:34,497
I like your necklace thing,
it looks like the moon.
416
00:29:34,499 --> 00:29:37,696
Oh, thank you.
It was my mum's.
417
00:29:37,698 --> 00:29:40,097
Hmm. She doesn't want
it back then?
418
00:29:40,099 --> 00:29:41,196
She's dead.
419
00:29:41,198 --> 00:29:42,198
Right.
420
00:29:45,033 --> 00:29:46,033
Sorry.
421
00:29:50,631 --> 00:29:52,032
Service please,
Miss Danielle.
422
00:29:53,199 --> 00:29:54,663
Oh, here's trouble.
423
00:29:54,665 --> 00:29:55,930
How are you doing,
beautiful? You good?
424
00:29:55,932 --> 00:29:58,496
All right, you need
to behave yourself tonight.
425
00:29:58,498 --> 00:30:00,563
Two pints of lager please
and white wine spritzers.
426
00:30:00,565 --> 00:30:02,030
Um, cranberry juice.
427
00:30:02,032 --> 00:30:03,032
With vodka, please.
428
00:30:03,531 --> 00:30:05,334
No, we don't drink.
429
00:30:09,466 --> 00:30:10,531
What?
430
00:30:10,533 --> 00:30:11,831
We have run into
a serious issue here.
431
00:30:11,833 --> 00:30:13,733
- What have you done now?
- The girls don't drink.
432
00:30:14,666 --> 00:30:16,031
And?
433
00:30:16,033 --> 00:30:17,567
Right how do
I put this nicely?
434
00:30:18,399 --> 00:30:20,099
No one's going
to fuck you sober.
435
00:30:22,767 --> 00:30:24,665
That's you putting it
nicely, is it?
436
00:30:24,667 --> 00:30:25,734
I've got an idea.
437
00:30:26,766 --> 00:30:28,098
What about the friend?
438
00:30:28,100 --> 00:30:29,330
How are we
gonna get rid of him?
439
00:30:29,332 --> 00:30:30,631
I'm working on it.
440
00:30:30,633 --> 00:30:33,398
You just focus on Jim and don't
let him out of your sight.
441
00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:34,698
Ladies,
442
00:30:34,700 --> 00:30:35,833
ever heard of KRABS?
443
00:31:03,366 --> 00:31:05,732
This is the guy I was telling you
about, this is John.
444
00:31:05,734 --> 00:31:07,499
- How you doing, John, pleased to meet you, mate.
- Yeah nice to meet you, bruv.
445
00:31:07,501 --> 00:31:08,999
That's incredible
it really was.
446
00:31:11,366 --> 00:31:12,833
Best we've ever done it.
447
00:31:12,835 --> 00:31:16,365
Yeah it was all right,
just lost the tempo at the end there
448
00:31:16,367 --> 00:31:18,368
but we will get it right,
at some point.
449
00:31:20,702 --> 00:31:25,534
Fuck you, John.
I quit! The KRABS are over!
450
00:31:26,533 --> 00:31:28,699
No. The KRABS
are never over, bruv.
451
00:31:28,701 --> 00:31:30,531
I hope that they're not.
452
00:31:30,533 --> 00:31:32,565
Have you got them beans?
453
00:31:32,567 --> 00:31:34,733
Yep. Um, just be careful with
them 'cause they're quite strong.
454
00:31:34,735 --> 00:31:37,200
- Okay.
- Ah, forget that shit I've got something for you right here.
455
00:31:37,202 --> 00:31:40,232
New album Mopy Symphlex.
Do you a deal, fiver.
456
00:31:40,234 --> 00:31:42,168
- No, I'm all right. Thank you, mate.
- Please,
457
00:31:43,035 --> 00:31:44,366
take one.
458
00:31:44,368 --> 00:31:45,702
Okay, no problem.
459
00:31:46,502 --> 00:31:48,536
Have you ever heard
an owl cry?
460
00:31:50,934 --> 00:31:52,799
No, I haven't, mate. No.
461
00:31:55,868 --> 00:31:59,166
Thanks, boss, thank you
very much, cheers.
462
00:31:59,168 --> 00:32:01,499
- Oh, my god you look so...
- Yeah, I'm at work, girl.
463
00:32:01,501 --> 00:32:03,068
- I'm at work yeah, cool.
- Yeah, no totally, yeah that's yeah.
464
00:32:04,235 --> 00:32:06,034
So, you like, uh,
cranberry juice.
465
00:32:06,368 --> 00:32:07,666
Yeah.
466
00:32:07,668 --> 00:32:10,336
Isn't that, isn't it good
for period pains?
467
00:32:10,836 --> 00:32:12,198
What?
468
00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:13,533
My sister told me
it was good
469
00:32:13,535 --> 00:32:15,268
for period pains
cranberry juice, no?
470
00:32:16,702 --> 00:32:18,070
Someone told me that.
471
00:32:19,167 --> 00:32:20,468
I don't know.
472
00:32:23,036 --> 00:32:25,033
No, that's it potassium,
potassium.
473
00:32:25,035 --> 00:32:26,733
It's like a bloody
funeral in here innit?
474
00:32:26,735 --> 00:32:29,200
Let's smash these and go somewhere
else, I know just the place.
475
00:32:29,202 --> 00:32:30,499
There you take
that one ducky.
476
00:32:30,501 --> 00:32:31,668
- Thank you.
- For you.
477
00:32:35,902 --> 00:32:37,901
Uh... sorry.
478
00:32:37,903 --> 00:32:39,700
Oh, shit.
479
00:32:39,702 --> 00:32:42,734
I thought,
there was a moth in that.
480
00:32:42,736 --> 00:32:45,000
I, there was definitely
a moth in that one.
481
00:32:45,002 --> 00:32:47,533
We're gonna go,
I'll get you another one.
482
00:32:47,535 --> 00:32:49,799
- Okay.
- That cost frigging money that.
483
00:32:53,468 --> 00:32:55,233
Where am I gonna get
some more from now?
484
00:32:55,235 --> 00:32:56,634
We're not doing
that, are we?
485
00:32:56,636 --> 00:32:59,867
- Why on earth not?
- Because it's, illegal, for one.
486
00:32:59,869 --> 00:33:02,367
Under whose eyes?
Eyes of the Lord?
487
00:33:19,368 --> 00:33:21,400
Just a cranberry juice
then please, mate.
488
00:33:21,402 --> 00:33:23,801
Thank you for cranberry
juice, cranberry juice.
489
00:33:23,803 --> 00:33:24,803
Cheers!
490
00:33:58,337 --> 00:33:59,401
Do you wanna dance?
491
00:33:59,403 --> 00:34:01,334
No, no way.
492
00:34:01,336 --> 00:34:02,634
Why not?
493
00:34:02,636 --> 00:34:06,367
I just I, I don't. Last time I
danced I was 10 years old at the...
494
00:34:06,369 --> 00:34:09,469
school disco and I accidentally
elbowed Natalie Cork in the face.
495
00:34:09,471 --> 00:34:10,936
You can't be that bad.
496
00:34:10,938 --> 00:34:12,034
I am.
497
00:34:12,036 --> 00:34:13,936
I look like I am being
beaten up by ghosts.
498
00:34:27,505 --> 00:34:28,505
Sorry.
499
00:34:31,837 --> 00:34:33,102
Oh, shit.
500
00:34:33,104 --> 00:34:34,203
What is it?
501
00:34:34,205 --> 00:34:36,901
It's my mum,
I'm supposed to go round
502
00:34:36,903 --> 00:34:40,436
to theirs for this birthday dinner
thing, tonight. I completely forgot.
503
00:34:40,438 --> 00:34:41,703
Well, can't you call her
504
00:34:41,705 --> 00:34:43,072
and tell her
something came up?
505
00:34:45,505 --> 00:34:46,739
I can't.
506
00:34:47,806 --> 00:34:49,038
I'm sorry, Lulu.
507
00:34:59,538 --> 00:35:00,870
No, wait.
508
00:35:00,872 --> 00:35:02,173
I'll come with you.
509
00:35:03,004 --> 00:35:04,070
What?
510
00:35:04,072 --> 00:35:05,370
Well, you've been drinking
511
00:35:05,372 --> 00:35:08,340
so I can drive us there and bring
us back before it's too late.
512
00:35:09,172 --> 00:35:11,173
Gets, gets too late.
513
00:35:12,238 --> 00:35:14,504
Besides,
you wouldn't make me
514
00:35:14,506 --> 00:35:16,440
sit here on my own all
night, would you?
515
00:35:27,004 --> 00:35:28,005
Whoa.
516
00:35:34,506 --> 00:35:35,637
Cool car.
517
00:35:35,639 --> 00:35:37,273
Thanks. It's our uncle's.
518
00:35:41,073 --> 00:35:43,573
Oh. Shit.
519
00:35:46,240 --> 00:35:47,273
Cool uncle.
520
00:36:04,240 --> 00:36:05,338
Shit.
521
00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:10,572
Oh, oh, you bought a friend.
Wonderful.
522
00:36:10,574 --> 00:36:12,103
Come, in come in.
523
00:36:13,207 --> 00:36:14,207
Sorry, we are late.
524
00:36:35,506 --> 00:36:38,107
Here we are.
525
00:36:39,206 --> 00:36:41,707
We were starting
to worry about you.
526
00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:45,372
Oh, yeah,
sorry about...
527
00:36:45,374 --> 00:36:47,972
No, no, don't you worry, son.
We've only been waiting a couple of hours.
528
00:36:47,974 --> 00:36:49,972
You're here now
and that's what matters.
529
00:36:49,974 --> 00:36:51,271
Amen.
530
00:36:51,273 --> 00:36:53,438
What's the T-shirts?
531
00:36:56,374 --> 00:36:59,073
Hilarious, aren't they?
532
00:36:59,075 --> 00:37:01,071
It was your sister's idea,
she thought they were funny.
533
00:37:01,073 --> 00:37:04,171
Father George helped out.
534
00:37:04,173 --> 00:37:08,041
Did you know that Priests
get discounts in, um...
535
00:37:12,908 --> 00:37:14,007
Piccy Pics?
536
00:37:14,009 --> 00:37:15,072
Is that right?
537
00:37:15,074 --> 00:37:16,339
I didn't know that.
538
00:37:16,341 --> 00:37:18,172
We've got one for you, son.
Beth go get it.
539
00:37:18,174 --> 00:37:19,439
Oh, no, no, no. I'm fine.
540
00:37:19,441 --> 00:37:21,841
Oh, come on,
it's the party rule.
541
00:37:22,741 --> 00:37:24,572
We don't have one
for you, Lulu, I'm afraid.
542
00:37:24,574 --> 00:37:27,371
No, no, we do, we do, we do, no that...
543
00:37:27,373 --> 00:37:29,073
...one of the first ones...
...didn't go quite right you know.
544
00:37:29,075 --> 00:37:31,240
- Yes.
- Beth go and get that one too yeah.
545
00:37:31,242 --> 00:37:33,207
Oh, how fun.
546
00:37:47,342 --> 00:37:48,442
Happy birthday, son.
547
00:37:50,609 --> 00:37:51,609
Thanks.
548
00:38:07,242 --> 00:38:08,340
Oh, it's...
549
00:38:08,342 --> 00:38:11,007
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's ya Nan's pen knife.
550
00:38:11,009 --> 00:38:12,509
Yeah, um,
she wanted you to have it.
551
00:38:14,009 --> 00:38:15,877
She loved you very much, Jim.
We all do.
552
00:38:18,275 --> 00:38:19,706
Thanks, Dad.
553
00:38:19,708 --> 00:38:24,374
Yeah, it's okay to cry, you know, yeah.
It's not a weakness.
554
00:38:27,243 --> 00:38:29,407
Just be careful walking
around with that thing.
555
00:38:29,409 --> 00:38:30,974
Yeah, we don't want
the police mistaking you
556
00:38:30,976 --> 00:38:33,973
for some crazy knife wielding
maniac, do we, Lulu?
557
00:38:44,043 --> 00:38:46,274
So where did you
go to school, Lulu?
558
00:38:46,276 --> 00:38:49,808
Um, I was taught at home.
559
00:38:49,810 --> 00:38:51,574
Oh, is that right?
560
00:38:51,576 --> 00:38:55,575
Yeah, Daddy didn't,
um, trust schools so...
561
00:38:55,577 --> 00:38:58,208
Oh, our Jim would have
loved that, he hated school.
562
00:38:58,210 --> 00:39:00,440
Even at a good
Christian school like his.
563
00:39:00,442 --> 00:39:02,009
He was forever
being picked on.
564
00:39:02,011 --> 00:39:06,076
And called horrible names
like fatty and ginger and...
565
00:39:06,078 --> 00:39:07,175
Ginger fatty.
566
00:39:07,177 --> 00:39:08,275
I think she gets it.
567
00:39:20,178 --> 00:39:22,375
Oooh. Oooh.
568
00:39:22,377 --> 00:39:24,007
Shall we do the song?
569
00:39:24,009 --> 00:39:25,808
- Yes.
- No, no, not the song.
570
00:39:25,810 --> 00:39:28,741
Oh come on don't be silly,
it's tradition!
571
00:39:28,743 --> 00:39:30,608
Someone's a little
bit embarrassed.
572
00:39:30,610 --> 00:39:32,175
Lulu, do you want to hear it?
573
00:39:32,177 --> 00:39:33,509
Yes, please.
574
00:39:33,511 --> 00:39:35,074
Actually I feel a bit
I'm not feeling too great.
575
00:39:35,076 --> 00:39:37,074
- No, come on, up you get.
- Come on birthday boy.
576
00:39:39,811 --> 00:39:40,875
♪ Mum
577
00:39:40,877 --> 00:39:41,975
♪ Dad
578
00:39:41,977 --> 00:39:43,041
♪ Dad
579
00:39:43,043 --> 00:39:44,875
♪ Jim
580
00:39:44,877 --> 00:39:47,843
♪ It's another Turner's
birthday jump up and down
581
00:39:47,845 --> 00:39:50,242
♪ Let's cowabunga down
let's shake it around
582
00:39:50,244 --> 00:39:53,077
♪ Musical bumps
that's where the party is
583
00:39:53,079 --> 00:39:55,609
♪ Open the fountain
that's the Turner kind of fizz
584
00:39:55,611 --> 00:39:58,277
♪ Daddy's playing air guitar
585
00:40:00,845 --> 00:40:03,441
♪ Beth and Jim go
clap clap clap ♪
586
00:40:07,045 --> 00:40:13,579
♪ Mummy's on kitchen duties and
over to Nan for the Turner rap
587
00:40:20,078 --> 00:40:22,975
♪ T. U. R. N. E. R.
T. U. R. N. E. R.
588
00:40:22,977 --> 00:40:25,509
♪ T. U. R. N. E. R.
T. U. R. N. E. R.
589
00:40:25,511 --> 00:40:28,209
♪ T. U. R. N. E. R.
T. U. R. N. E. R.
590
00:40:28,211 --> 00:40:32,342
♪ Tur-ner, Tur-ner, Tur-ner
591
00:40:32,344 --> 00:40:34,543
♪ Turn to the left
then turn to the right
592
00:40:34,545 --> 00:40:37,209
♪ There's a Turner there
and a Turner cares
593
00:40:37,211 --> 00:40:39,542
♪ Turn to the left
then turn to the right
594
00:40:39,544 --> 00:40:42,242
♪ There's a Turner there
and a Turner cares
595
00:40:42,244 --> 00:40:45,044
♪ Turn to the left
then turn to the right
596
00:40:45,046 --> 00:40:48,076
♪ There's a Turner there
and a Turner cares
597
00:40:48,078 --> 00:40:52,043
♪ Turners will turn
to each other
598
00:40:52,045 --> 00:40:58,710
♪ Till time stops turning ♪
599
00:40:58,712 --> 00:41:01,844
No, no, no, keep going,
keep going. It's good.
600
00:41:01,846 --> 00:41:03,077
♪ T. U. R. N. E. R.
T. U. R. N. E. R.
601
00:41:03,079 --> 00:41:04,177
Faster, Mum.
602
00:41:04,179 --> 00:41:05,677
♪ T. U. R. N. E. R.
T. U. R. N. E. R.
603
00:41:05,679 --> 00:41:06,877
Dad, come on louder.
604
00:41:06,879 --> 00:41:10,443
♪ T. U. R. N. E. R.
T. U. R. N. E. R.
605
00:41:10,445 --> 00:41:12,744
♪ T. U. R. N. E. R.
and T. U. R. N. ♪
606
00:41:36,245 --> 00:41:37,247
What ya doing?
607
00:41:37,846 --> 00:41:39,610
I'm not interested, okay?
608
00:41:39,612 --> 00:41:40,777
Why not?
609
00:41:40,779 --> 00:41:43,510
Because you're ugly, and dumb.
610
00:41:43,512 --> 00:41:46,510
Now why don't you fuck off
and find someone else?
611
00:41:46,512 --> 00:41:49,313
Your big ginger friend
can take care of himself.
612
00:42:18,347 --> 00:42:19,978
There's someone in here.
613
00:42:19,980 --> 00:42:22,247
No drugs allowed
I'm afraid, now open the door.
614
00:42:23,413 --> 00:42:24,879
I'm not doing drugs.
615
00:42:24,881 --> 00:42:26,548
Open the fucking door.
616
00:42:32,081 --> 00:42:35,711
Hey, honestly,
I wasn't doing anything.
617
00:42:35,713 --> 00:42:37,214
Do I look fucking stupid?
618
00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:41,146
No.
619
00:42:41,148 --> 00:42:42,315
Hand me the purse.
620
00:42:45,015 --> 00:42:47,981
Hand me your
fucking purse, now.
621
00:42:50,014 --> 00:42:55,549
Are you sure there's not some
other way of sorting this out?
622
00:43:36,915 --> 00:43:38,249
Daddy, what's he doing?
623
00:43:42,249 --> 00:43:44,216
He's been touched
by the Holy Spirit.
624
00:43:46,383 --> 00:43:48,846
He's feeling
the pure love of Jesus.
625
00:43:48,848 --> 00:43:50,614
Flowing through his veins.
626
00:43:50,616 --> 00:43:51,780
Praise the Lord.
627
00:43:59,050 --> 00:44:02,780
Well, we should probably
be going, it's getting late.
628
00:44:02,782 --> 00:44:05,013
Oh, are you sure darling?
629
00:44:05,015 --> 00:44:06,846
Jim seems to be
having a good time.
630
00:44:06,848 --> 00:44:10,549
Yeah, it's just, we've got
a lot to do tomorrow, so.
631
00:44:11,615 --> 00:44:12,616
Jim.
632
00:44:13,515 --> 00:44:14,581
Jim.
633
00:44:18,950 --> 00:44:20,750
Maybe we should head back.
634
00:44:21,416 --> 00:44:24,148
To the club. Yes!
635
00:44:24,150 --> 00:44:27,348
Good idea, okay, thank you so much
for the most amazing birthday.
636
00:44:27,350 --> 00:44:28,351
Sis.
637
00:44:28,850 --> 00:44:29,914
Love you, Mama.
638
00:44:31,350 --> 00:44:32,350
Okay.
639
00:44:33,883 --> 00:44:36,515
It was a pleasure
to meet you all, bye.
640
00:44:36,517 --> 00:44:40,181
Ah, I think he's found
a good girl there.
641
00:44:53,317 --> 00:44:55,715
God, I wanted to be a drummer
when I was a kid.
642
00:44:55,717 --> 00:44:57,715
I always thought that was the
coolest thing to be, you know,
643
00:44:57,717 --> 00:45:00,848
everyone wants to be the front man
or the guitarist but I was always...
644
00:45:06,583 --> 00:45:08,248
I thought that was going
to be really weird didn't you?
645
00:45:08,250 --> 00:45:10,781
You meeting my parents like that
and I've just met you but...
646
00:45:10,783 --> 00:45:12,516
I thought it was fun.
647
00:45:12,518 --> 00:45:16,781
I thought that was really fun and I think
they liked you, you know, I really do.
648
00:45:16,783 --> 00:45:18,681
I mean why wouldn't they?
Look at you, you're perfect.
649
00:45:18,683 --> 00:45:22,149
No, I'm not.
Kitty says my nose is too big.
650
00:45:22,151 --> 00:45:25,048
- What? No. No.
- Yeah. No, she does.
651
00:45:25,050 --> 00:45:28,248
She... She says I need
to get some work done.
652
00:45:28,250 --> 00:45:32,150
Okay, if you change that face,
that is an insult to God.
653
00:45:36,318 --> 00:45:38,082
Stick to the plan.
654
00:45:38,084 --> 00:45:39,181
What's that?
655
00:45:39,183 --> 00:45:40,682
Motherfucker!
656
00:45:40,684 --> 00:45:43,082
Wooo, you're
an amazing driver, Lulu.
657
00:45:43,084 --> 00:45:44,748
- Thanks.
- What, how long, how fast are we going?
658
00:45:44,750 --> 00:45:47,049
Uh, 110.
659
00:45:47,051 --> 00:45:48,352
Whoo!
660
00:46:40,485 --> 00:46:41,586
Oh, man!
661
00:46:42,652 --> 00:46:43,653
Alex.
662
00:46:45,086 --> 00:46:46,483
Alex.
663
00:46:46,485 --> 00:46:48,085
- Hiya love!
- Hiya.
664
00:46:48,087 --> 00:46:49,184
You coming down?
665
00:46:49,186 --> 00:46:50,549
- Come up.
- Alex, come down.
666
00:46:50,551 --> 00:46:52,384
- Come up.
- Why don't we go?
667
00:46:52,386 --> 00:46:53,484
Come up.
668
00:46:53,486 --> 00:46:54,554
You and me let's go.
669
00:47:17,719 --> 00:47:19,520
I've got something to tell
you, just come down.
670
00:47:21,520 --> 00:47:22,553
Kitty, what you doing?
671
00:47:23,353 --> 00:47:24,354
No.
672
00:47:29,054 --> 00:47:30,717
Hey let's,
let's go back to ours.
673
00:47:30,719 --> 00:47:33,350
- Okay, let's go, yeah.
- Yeah, I've just got to get Alex.
674
00:47:33,352 --> 00:47:34,418
No, no, no,
don't get him.
675
00:47:34,420 --> 00:47:36,085
No, he's my bro
from another ho I've gotta...
676
00:47:36,087 --> 00:47:37,388
No, No, No.
He's having a really good time.
677
00:47:42,852 --> 00:47:43,853
Jim!
678
00:47:46,354 --> 00:47:47,355
Jim!
679
00:47:48,920 --> 00:47:50,787
Whoo...
680
00:47:54,020 --> 00:47:56,418
- I fucking love you man!
- Where we off, where we off, where we off, where we off?
681
00:47:56,420 --> 00:47:58,018
Our place,
let's go, let's go.
682
00:47:58,020 --> 00:47:59,484
Told ya,
what did I say?
683
00:48:15,253 --> 00:48:16,953
What the fuck you doing, bruv?
684
00:48:16,955 --> 00:48:18,953
Man, fucking ride
your buzz, bruv.
685
00:48:18,955 --> 00:48:20,751
What are you sucking off
your own face for?
686
00:48:20,753 --> 00:48:22,020
Fix up, bruv.
687
00:48:22,022 --> 00:48:24,087
Cause if you barge me again I'll
bang off your fucking jaw side
688
00:48:24,089 --> 00:48:25,485
like fluoride
you fucking dickhead.
689
00:48:25,487 --> 00:48:26,854
Just fuck off, man.
690
00:48:27,888 --> 00:48:29,287
He was a bit nasty, wasn't he?
691
00:48:29,289 --> 00:48:32,054
Gonna need some cognitive therapy.
692
00:48:39,422 --> 00:48:42,755
- Come on, Jim. Tune!
- Tune! Turn this up!
693
00:48:52,021 --> 00:48:54,285
Thank you so much girls for
allowing us to come with ya
694
00:48:54,287 --> 00:48:56,220
I honestly thank ya,
it's very kind of ya
695
00:48:56,222 --> 00:48:57,920
Yeah, really, this is such
a... Such a brilliant night.
696
00:48:57,922 --> 00:49:00,486
We feel like we've really bonded
quite quickly with you guys.
697
00:49:00,488 --> 00:49:01,554
Definitely we do.
698
00:49:01,556 --> 00:49:03,287
And you're just nice,
really nice girls.
699
00:49:03,289 --> 00:49:04,723
I can't feel my face.
700
00:49:11,421 --> 00:49:12,954
Can I just say, Kitty.
701
00:49:12,956 --> 00:49:17,587
I'm extremely sorry about when I threw
the glass of water over your mid-region.
702
00:49:17,589 --> 00:49:18,687
Why d'you do that?
703
00:49:18,689 --> 00:49:20,286
It's fine, Alex, honestly.
704
00:49:20,288 --> 00:49:24,287
Cause I'm awfully sorry and I respect you
as a person, as a female, as a feminist.
705
00:49:24,289 --> 00:49:25,954
Look, Alex,
don't worry about it.
706
00:49:25,956 --> 00:49:28,354
Deep down I think
I'm quite into you.
707
00:49:28,356 --> 00:49:29,886
I could talk to you
d'ya know what I mean,
708
00:49:29,888 --> 00:49:32,187
you're sort of somebody that's
a very approachable person.
709
00:49:32,189 --> 00:49:34,054
Ya know you're very warm.
710
00:49:34,056 --> 00:49:35,120
Alex, Alex, Alex.
711
00:49:35,122 --> 00:49:37,586
I love you.
I don't, love you, not yet, I don't.
712
00:49:37,588 --> 00:49:40,021
I know
I'm gonna back off now.
713
00:49:40,023 --> 00:49:41,487
- I'm gonna stop talking bullshit.
- It's all right.
714
00:49:41,489 --> 00:49:44,088
He's a nice, he's nice,
he can just be a bit of a dick sometimes,
715
00:49:44,090 --> 00:49:45,554
but his hearts
is in the right place.
716
00:49:45,556 --> 00:49:46,655
Do your beatbox for us.
717
00:50:02,189 --> 00:50:04,022
- The countryside!
- Whoo!
718
00:50:04,024 --> 00:50:05,887
- Countryside!
- Whoo!
719
00:50:05,889 --> 00:50:07,489
It's like
going on holiday!
720
00:50:18,757 --> 00:50:21,588
Fucking hell I never want
to stop holding your hand.
721
00:50:21,590 --> 00:50:23,222
Don't, you don't have to.
722
00:50:23,224 --> 00:50:25,291
- Is that all right?
- Yeah, of course, man.
723
00:50:28,491 --> 00:50:30,688
I feel like I'm,
my jaws going a bit.
724
00:50:30,690 --> 00:50:33,923
No, you're sound mate. Are mine?
Are mine, all my lot?
725
00:50:34,356 --> 00:50:35,422
Good.
726
00:50:35,424 --> 00:50:36,424
They're great, man.
727
00:50:38,557 --> 00:50:42,489
Fucking hell, there's a joint
underneath your frigging seat.
728
00:50:42,491 --> 00:50:44,221
- What?
- Whose got a light?
729
00:50:44,223 --> 00:50:45,224
Spark it up, son.
730
00:50:53,357 --> 00:50:54,358
Lulu?
731
00:50:55,091 --> 00:50:56,190
No, thank you.
732
00:50:56,192 --> 00:50:57,856
- It's just...
- Go on just have it.
733
00:50:57,858 --> 00:50:59,290
- No, no.
- Shit, shit. Fucking hell!
734
00:51:17,258 --> 00:51:18,425
Fucking back!
735
00:51:20,224 --> 00:51:24,222
I've fucked up myself,
me ribs and me spine are torched man!
736
00:51:24,224 --> 00:51:25,355
Lulu!
737
00:51:26,926 --> 00:51:27,926
Take this.
738
00:51:29,557 --> 00:51:30,558
Take this.
739
00:51:32,891 --> 00:51:34,022
Is everyone all right?
740
00:51:34,024 --> 00:51:36,188
Yeah, mate, hunky dory no
thanks to this fucking idjit!
741
00:51:36,190 --> 00:51:37,656
Whoa, whoa.
742
00:51:37,658 --> 00:51:39,656
Fucking nearly
killed me, mate!
743
00:51:40,726 --> 00:51:42,455
Come on then, Jim.
Come on then mate.
744
00:51:42,457 --> 00:51:44,823
Do you really want this?
Do you really want this then, mate?
745
00:51:44,825 --> 00:51:45,889
Yeah, all right.
746
00:51:45,891 --> 00:51:47,056
- Are we done?
- All right get off!
747
00:51:47,058 --> 00:51:48,190
- Are we done?
- Yes.
748
00:51:48,192 --> 00:51:49,192
- Say done then.
- Done!
749
00:51:54,059 --> 00:51:55,591
Right what rescue service
are you with?
750
00:51:56,526 --> 00:51:57,526
Why?
751
00:51:58,292 --> 00:51:59,559
So they can rescue us!
752
00:52:01,593 --> 00:52:02,826
It's stolen.
753
00:52:04,426 --> 00:52:05,923
What? You said
it was your uncle's.
754
00:52:05,925 --> 00:52:08,727
It is.
We stole it from our uncle's.
755
00:52:09,692 --> 00:52:11,089
You stole your uncle's car?
756
00:52:11,091 --> 00:52:14,189
He doesn't mind.
He, he's in jail.
757
00:52:14,191 --> 00:52:16,691
He's a massive pervert.
758
00:52:16,693 --> 00:52:18,826
Well, that explains all the
shit in the glove compartment.
759
00:52:20,893 --> 00:52:22,193
So what we gonna do now?
760
00:52:26,458 --> 00:52:29,259
Right then,
righty righty oh.
761
00:52:30,726 --> 00:52:32,524
It's very hot,
is it supposed to be hot?
762
00:52:32,526 --> 00:52:34,991
- Yeah, I think it is, yeah.
- Engines are normally hot, okay.
763
00:52:34,993 --> 00:52:37,058
- Do you, do you know about cars?
- A bit.
764
00:52:37,060 --> 00:52:39,060
Yes, must be
'cause it's too hot.
765
00:52:44,925 --> 00:52:46,024
Sorry.
766
00:52:46,026 --> 00:52:47,393
Don't worry about it,
it's just a stupid t-shirt.
767
00:52:48,659 --> 00:52:50,227
You don't have
to wear yours either.
768
00:52:51,227 --> 00:52:52,394
I like it.
769
00:53:06,727 --> 00:53:08,560
What a night, eh?
770
00:53:10,594 --> 00:53:11,691
Oh, my God.
771
00:53:11,693 --> 00:53:13,658
What?
772
00:53:13,660 --> 00:53:16,258
Was I dancing in front of my parents?
773
00:53:16,260 --> 00:53:20,761
Oh, god!
Kill me now, Lulu, please.
774
00:53:23,826 --> 00:53:24,827
Oh, I'm sorry.
775
00:53:36,294 --> 00:53:37,428
Don't you need that?
776
00:53:38,760 --> 00:53:40,094
I'm due an upgrade anyway.
777
00:53:46,594 --> 00:53:47,725
Ooooh...
778
00:53:47,727 --> 00:53:50,891
Sorry. Sorry that was stupid
I don't know why I did that.
779
00:53:50,893 --> 00:53:55,059
I don't normally do stuff like that
especially after, major car accidents.
780
00:53:55,061 --> 00:53:57,092
No, it wasn't that,
I didn't...
781
00:53:57,094 --> 00:54:02,594
It's just I, I just I like
you and I thought, maybe.
782
00:54:04,460 --> 00:54:05,461
Idiot.
783
00:54:08,360 --> 00:54:09,562
I like you too.
784
00:54:14,094 --> 00:54:15,525
Right then, kids.
785
00:54:15,527 --> 00:54:17,028
I reckon I figured it out.
786
00:54:17,528 --> 00:54:18,860
It's fucked.
787
00:54:18,862 --> 00:54:20,525
Oh, great cheers, Alex.
788
00:54:20,527 --> 00:54:21,892
Well fear not
I have a plan.
789
00:54:21,894 --> 00:54:23,293
I just checked
the sat nav on my phone
790
00:54:23,295 --> 00:54:25,558
and it appears we are about a
mile away from my dad's place.
791
00:54:25,560 --> 00:54:27,260
So I suggest
we have a walk there,
792
00:54:27,262 --> 00:54:29,692
borrow his car and drive
to these girls house.
793
00:54:29,694 --> 00:54:31,992
The rest is TBC
to be honest with ya
794
00:54:31,994 --> 00:54:33,929
but I'm predicting a fucking riot.
Who's with me?
795
00:54:37,728 --> 00:54:39,062
This is ridiculous man.
796
00:54:40,162 --> 00:54:41,363
This is the one.
797
00:54:47,762 --> 00:54:51,294
You're gonna love him.
He's hilarious you watch.
798
00:54:51,296 --> 00:54:55,863
All right just wait there, wait there,
shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up.
799
00:54:57,828 --> 00:54:58,862
Eh up, Dad!
800
00:55:00,262 --> 00:55:04,061
Hey Alex, hello sunshine.
801
00:55:04,063 --> 00:55:07,727
Come on you filthy
bastard I've gotta go.
802
00:55:07,729 --> 00:55:10,193
Yeah.
Cheers.
803
00:55:10,195 --> 00:55:11,260
- Ta.
- Thank you.
804
00:55:11,262 --> 00:55:12,896
- See ya.
- See ya. Bye.
805
00:55:17,296 --> 00:55:19,528
Cleaner. She's my cleaner.
806
00:55:19,530 --> 00:55:22,694
She's just been, cleaning up!
807
00:55:22,696 --> 00:55:27,827
Hey, come on what the fuck are you doing
standing outside you come inside come on.
808
00:55:27,829 --> 00:55:30,761
I mean, I call her a cleaner,
y'know. She is a cleaner,
809
00:55:30,763 --> 00:55:35,160
she's actually not very good.
I should probably fire her actually.
810
00:55:35,162 --> 00:55:38,931
So it's a little bit
messy, a little untidy.
811
00:55:39,430 --> 00:55:40,430
But, um...
812
00:55:42,295 --> 00:55:45,527
Oh. That's a bit embarrassing.
813
00:55:45,529 --> 00:55:48,096
Well, you know what they say,
you can't live with them.
814
00:55:48,098 --> 00:55:50,995
Can't wank without a naked
photo of one of them.
815
00:55:50,997 --> 00:55:53,628
It was a joke.
. Friends?
816
00:55:53,630 --> 00:55:57,361
- You know Jim, don't ya?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, ginger fatty Jaffa cake thief.
817
00:55:58,730 --> 00:56:00,261
He used to come round
when he was a kid
818
00:56:00,263 --> 00:56:02,728
and he ate all the Jaffa cakes and
then he was very big but now he's not.
819
00:56:02,730 --> 00:56:04,361
I had one, it was once.
820
00:56:04,363 --> 00:56:08,395
No, it was a packet. It was
like a triple packet of Jaffa cakes.
821
00:56:08,397 --> 00:56:10,398
- I was really hungry.
- He was very sick.
822
00:56:10,897 --> 00:56:12,161
These two boys?
823
00:56:12,163 --> 00:56:13,397
Lulu, Kitty.
824
00:56:13,931 --> 00:56:15,362
Kulu and Litty.
825
00:56:15,364 --> 00:56:17,598
- Hi.
- Lovely names, lovely names.
826
00:56:20,397 --> 00:56:22,062
Sort of strippers
names, isn't it?
827
00:56:22,064 --> 00:56:23,698
I mean, you're not
strippers, are you?
828
00:56:24,263 --> 00:56:25,264
No.
829
00:56:26,163 --> 00:56:28,063
That's a shame.
You could be.
830
00:56:28,531 --> 00:56:29,729
Thanks.
831
00:56:29,731 --> 00:56:32,364
Sit down,
will you come on sit down. Hey.
832
00:56:33,196 --> 00:56:35,562
Hey, how's your mum?
833
00:56:35,564 --> 00:56:36,930
Yeah, she's dead good
ta, Dad, yeah.
834
00:56:36,932 --> 00:56:38,261
- Yeah, dead good.
- Hanging in.
835
00:56:38,263 --> 00:56:40,731
- Is she? Yeah. Good.
- Fine.
836
00:56:41,297 --> 00:56:42,629
Good. Fuck her.
837
00:56:42,631 --> 00:56:44,996
You give her my love, won't you?
You give her my love.
838
00:56:44,998 --> 00:56:46,262
I will. I will send
my love yeah.
839
00:56:46,264 --> 00:56:47,361
Actually
that's not right.
840
00:56:47,363 --> 00:56:49,863
She...
She should give me her love.
841
00:56:49,865 --> 00:56:51,598
You know,
she should give me her love.
842
00:56:52,731 --> 00:56:53,732
Excuse me.
843
00:56:54,330 --> 00:56:55,795
Can we use your toilet.
844
00:56:55,797 --> 00:56:57,996
Absolutely, number ones
or number twos?
845
00:56:57,998 --> 00:56:59,430
You.
846
00:56:59,432 --> 00:57:02,563
Of course, you go and take a shit
take a wee, whatever you wanna do.
847
00:57:02,565 --> 00:57:03,798
- Thank you.
- Might need a flush.
848
00:57:05,764 --> 00:57:06,931
Follow your nose.
849
00:57:11,398 --> 00:57:15,430
So, come on you Jimmy,
Jimmy, Jimmy Jimson.
850
00:57:15,432 --> 00:57:17,863
Jimmy yourself down
here you little, Jimmy.
851
00:57:22,766 --> 00:57:23,897
What you doing?
852
00:57:23,899 --> 00:57:25,064
What?
853
00:57:25,066 --> 00:57:26,799
What? I am doing exactly
what you said, I'm pretending.
854
00:57:29,232 --> 00:57:32,996
Look come on, I'm your sister
you can tell me. What's wrong?
855
00:57:32,998 --> 00:57:35,997
Well, just,
856
00:57:35,999 --> 00:57:39,164
I was thinking maybe
we could let them go.
857
00:57:39,166 --> 00:57:41,763
Jim just seems nice, you know,
he's different from the others
858
00:57:41,765 --> 00:57:43,264
and we've still got time
to find another one.
859
00:57:43,266 --> 00:57:44,266
Okay.
860
00:57:46,031 --> 00:57:47,266
Is that it?
861
00:57:47,632 --> 00:57:48,766
Is that all?
862
00:57:49,766 --> 00:57:51,433
You're a silly sausage,
aren't you?
863
00:57:54,899 --> 00:57:59,733
You are doing it, tonight.
Do you understand?
864
00:58:01,398 --> 00:58:02,600
Good to see ya.
865
00:58:03,465 --> 00:58:05,064
What's happening,
what you up to?
866
00:58:05,066 --> 00:58:06,463
Trying to go back
to their house,
867
00:58:06,465 --> 00:58:07,600
just having a bit
of a shindig.
868
00:58:08,065 --> 00:58:10,798
Okay.
869
00:58:10,800 --> 00:58:12,463
I need to change my shirt
and maybe wash under my arms.
870
00:58:12,465 --> 00:58:14,597
No, we just need to borrow your car, Dad.
If that's all right?
871
00:58:14,599 --> 00:58:15,600
Just borrow your car.
872
00:58:18,099 --> 00:58:21,264
Yep, that's fine, yep.
873
00:58:21,266 --> 00:58:23,930
Gents, chaps you are having
a lovely night out.
874
00:58:23,932 --> 00:58:25,464
- I'm fucking sober, are you?
- Yeah, a little bit, we should probably...
875
00:58:25,466 --> 00:58:27,999
I'm really sober. Is there somewhere
local we can get a drink, Dad,
876
00:58:28,001 --> 00:58:29,763
- do you know?
- Yep you walk down the road here
877
00:58:29,765 --> 00:58:32,165
and there's gonna be
a late night garage or...
878
00:58:32,167 --> 00:58:33,697
- Great.
- Wicked. All right then, mate.
879
00:58:33,699 --> 00:58:35,764
- Do you want ought? No?
- And you can get, you can get booze and porno.
880
00:58:35,766 --> 00:58:38,431
- All right then, mate. See you later, Dad.
- Thanks Ken, cheers.
881
00:58:38,433 --> 00:58:39,731
- Do you need anything?
- Hey, I'm good.
882
00:58:39,733 --> 00:58:41,364
- See you in a bit then.
- Cheers Ken.
883
00:58:41,366 --> 00:58:44,066
Get a me a packet
of Jaffa cakes maybe, Jim.
884
00:58:44,568 --> 00:58:45,964
Jaffa Jim.
885
00:58:45,966 --> 00:58:47,164
Just popping to the shops
girls, we'll be back in a minute.
886
00:58:47,166 --> 00:58:49,201
Oh, fuck.
887
00:58:59,366 --> 00:59:02,564
There's been a break through
in the mystery surrounding the disappearance
888
00:59:02,566 --> 00:59:05,165
of 33 year old Steven Barker.
889
00:59:05,167 --> 00:59:07,601
The following CCTV footage
has just been released.
890
00:59:08,433 --> 00:59:10,531
Police now have eye witnesses
891
00:59:10,533 --> 00:59:14,333
that claim to have seen Steven
leaving a bar with two women.
892
00:59:16,167 --> 00:59:18,031
We've enhanced the image here
893
00:59:18,033 --> 00:59:20,633
so you can get
a better picture of a suspect
894
00:59:20,635 --> 00:59:24,899
the newspapers have dubbed
'The Man Eaters'.
895
00:59:24,901 --> 00:59:29,898
If you know, or have seen these two
before please don't hesitate to call.
896
00:59:29,900 --> 00:59:34,501
But do not approach them. They're
considered armed and extremely dangerous.
897
00:59:45,635 --> 00:59:46,769
Man eaters.
898
00:59:49,035 --> 00:59:50,035
I like it.
899
00:59:59,235 --> 01:00:00,433
Lulu!
900
01:00:04,102 --> 01:00:05,932
Lulu, help me!
901
01:00:05,934 --> 01:00:08,568
Get off me!
902
01:00:10,203 --> 01:00:11,203
Come on.
903
01:00:14,568 --> 01:00:16,270
Go on, do it!
904
01:00:17,502 --> 01:00:18,503
Lulu!
905
01:00:23,869 --> 01:00:26,066
Oh, God,
what are we going to do?
906
01:00:26,068 --> 01:00:27,899
We are all over the news,
we've got to hand ourselves in!
907
01:00:27,901 --> 01:00:30,167
We're not fucking handing ourselves
in we've nearly done this!
908
01:00:30,169 --> 01:00:32,601
Okay,
will you trust me!
909
01:00:32,603 --> 01:00:33,933
You do want to see him
again, don't you?
910
01:00:33,935 --> 01:00:36,701
But he's not coming back Kitty,
this is crazy, it's not gonna work!
911
01:00:36,703 --> 01:00:38,700
It will work.
Will you fucking trust me!
912
01:00:40,269 --> 01:00:43,400
I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
okay, I'm sorry.
913
01:00:43,402 --> 01:00:46,603
It's only cause I love you so much,
I don't want you to leave me again.
914
01:00:48,169 --> 01:00:49,233
Butterfly kiss.
915
01:00:49,235 --> 01:00:50,433
- No.
- Please.
916
01:00:50,435 --> 01:00:52,037
Don't fucking move, you cunts.
917
01:00:54,236 --> 01:00:57,200
I'm not letting you
anywhere near my boy!
918
01:00:57,202 --> 01:01:02,268
Right, don't fucking move cause
I'm gonna call the police!
919
01:01:04,270 --> 01:01:05,536
Just got to find
my phone.
920
01:01:14,902 --> 01:01:15,903
What the fuck's all that?
921
01:01:16,936 --> 01:01:18,234
Snacks and stuff.
922
01:01:18,236 --> 01:01:20,168
We're going to a fuck
party not a picnic, Jim.
923
01:01:20,170 --> 01:01:22,371
Well, I panicked! Okay?
924
01:01:27,936 --> 01:01:29,201
Get the knife.
925
01:01:29,203 --> 01:01:31,335
No, we can't kill him they're
gonna be back any minute!
926
01:01:31,337 --> 01:01:33,034
Get the chloroform then!
927
01:01:34,169 --> 01:01:36,100
Fucker.
928
01:01:36,102 --> 01:01:37,200
Come on!
929
01:01:37,202 --> 01:01:39,867
I'm trying!
Argh, it's here!
930
01:01:39,869 --> 01:01:40,870
Put it on a shirt!
931
01:01:44,369 --> 01:01:45,433
There.
932
01:01:57,205 --> 01:01:58,205
He's out.
933
01:02:00,505 --> 01:02:04,405
Get him up. Get him up, get him up,
come on, get him up, get him up.
934
01:02:12,404 --> 01:02:14,202
Bombay mix?
935
01:02:23,404 --> 01:02:25,438
Shhh.
936
01:02:33,571 --> 01:02:36,601
Yeah, he just
sort of passed out.
937
01:02:36,603 --> 01:02:38,870
Oh, yeah,
sorry, he does that.
938
01:02:38,872 --> 01:02:41,336
Maybe we should wait till
he wakes up or something?
939
01:02:41,338 --> 01:02:44,103
No, you lot just go ahead
and I'll see you in a sec.
940
01:02:44,105 --> 01:02:46,536
Maybe you should stay here with
him, I mean, he is your dad.
941
01:02:46,538 --> 01:02:49,672
No, no, he'll be fine he just, he just needs
to sleep it off, that's all, honestly.
942
01:02:51,038 --> 01:02:52,039
Okay.
943
01:03:14,673 --> 01:03:15,673
I love you, Dad.
944
01:03:27,538 --> 01:03:28,539
You all right?
945
01:03:29,039 --> 01:03:30,040
Yeah.
946
01:03:33,406 --> 01:03:34,504
Shit.
947
01:03:34,506 --> 01:03:35,702
What?
948
01:03:35,704 --> 01:03:37,140
It's past midnight,
you're 30.
949
01:03:40,071 --> 01:03:42,240
Wait. What time
were you born?
950
01:03:43,239 --> 01:03:44,737
About 4:00 a.m.
I think.
951
01:03:44,739 --> 01:03:46,571
Well, so we've still got
fucking time then, mate.
952
01:03:46,573 --> 01:03:48,140
I told you I don't break
me promises.
953
01:03:57,739 --> 01:04:00,805
A club bouncer
has been found murdered in a ladies toilet
954
01:04:00,807 --> 01:04:02,504
in East London.
955
01:04:02,506 --> 01:04:04,404
Police have released
a statement saying
956
01:04:04,406 --> 01:04:10,237
they do believe this latest incident is
connected to the so called "Man Eaters."
957
01:04:10,239 --> 01:04:15,672
Those two women already hunted by police were
seen hurriedly leaving the club with two men.
958
01:04:15,674 --> 01:04:20,437
Both men may had been under the influence
of a significant amount of drugs.
959
01:04:20,439 --> 01:04:24,707
Police have assured the public they are
extremely close to catching these wo...
960
01:04:25,907 --> 01:04:27,275
Take the next left.
961
01:05:08,908 --> 01:05:11,975
Do you, do you wanna
go up to my room?
962
01:05:14,707 --> 01:05:15,708
Yep.
963
01:05:32,307 --> 01:05:34,242
Jim, I've got
something to tell you.
964
01:05:35,941 --> 01:05:37,773
Whoa. Okay.
965
01:05:37,775 --> 01:05:40,676
No, it's about me.
I don't think you're gonna like it.
966
01:05:54,575 --> 01:05:55,709
Turn around.
967
01:05:59,209 --> 01:06:00,442
Take your clothes off.
968
01:06:02,741 --> 01:06:03,742
Yup.
969
01:06:19,876 --> 01:06:21,872
Um...
970
01:06:21,874 --> 01:06:27,273
Kitty, I really like ya.
And I just, I know I talk a lot a...
971
01:06:27,275 --> 01:06:29,842
I talk a lot a bullshit.
But, because I've never,
972
01:06:29,844 --> 01:06:33,209
I never met anyone like you before.
And I just, I just think you're really...
973
01:06:35,209 --> 01:06:36,210
Sorry.
974
01:06:39,776 --> 01:06:42,040
Just tell me,
I promise I won't laugh.
975
01:06:42,042 --> 01:06:44,374
No I'm pretty sure
you won't.
976
01:06:44,376 --> 01:06:45,907
Oh, my God,
you're a man, aren't you?
977
01:06:45,909 --> 01:06:46,973
No!
978
01:06:46,975 --> 01:06:48,341
I knew there was something...
979
01:06:48,343 --> 01:06:50,540
- No, Jim I'm not.
- It's the hands you've got the big hands.
980
01:06:50,542 --> 01:06:52,440
- I knew this was too good to be true.
- Will you just listen to me/
981
01:06:52,442 --> 01:06:54,043
Me and Kitty
killed four men.
982
01:07:13,943 --> 01:07:15,277
I'm so sorry, Jim.
983
01:07:18,310 --> 01:07:19,409
Wait, you were gonna...
984
01:07:19,411 --> 01:07:22,507
The Virgin is supposed
to be the final sacrifice.
985
01:07:22,509 --> 01:07:24,977
- How do you know I'm...
- It's amazing what you can find online.
986
01:07:26,110 --> 01:07:27,377
No, wait, hold on.
987
01:07:32,244 --> 01:07:34,242
The first girl I really like
is a serial killer?
988
01:07:34,244 --> 01:07:39,209
It's not that bad, Kitty did most
of the killings. I just helped her.
989
01:07:39,211 --> 01:07:40,578
Oh, let's get married then!
990
01:07:57,044 --> 01:07:58,108
What the fuck...
991
01:08:19,844 --> 01:08:21,309
Well, I'm sorry about that.
992
01:08:21,311 --> 01:08:23,076
I didn't want to hit you
with a piece of wood, did I?
993
01:08:24,611 --> 01:08:26,245
What the fuck are you doing?
Hey?
994
01:08:27,578 --> 01:08:28,845
What the fuck are you doing?
995
01:08:29,611 --> 01:08:30,710
What you getting?
996
01:08:30,712 --> 01:08:32,479
What's all that about?
Are you fucking?
997
01:08:33,911 --> 01:08:37,677
Why is my Jim on the fucking wall
for starters? Right bollocks.
998
01:08:37,679 --> 01:08:39,310
I swear to God if you come any
closer I'm gonna do you in.
999
01:08:39,312 --> 01:08:43,876
I will, come any closer, I fucking will,
promise you, love. Fuck off, fuck off.
1000
01:08:53,579 --> 01:08:58,479
Jesus. Fucking love, give us
a rest a minute, please, I promise.
1001
01:09:00,145 --> 01:09:01,146
Fuck off!
1002
01:09:08,445 --> 01:09:09,679
Fucking hell!
1003
01:09:30,280 --> 01:09:31,580
Fucking bitch!
1004
01:09:41,480 --> 01:09:43,077
Fucking hell, love!
1005
01:09:44,880 --> 01:09:45,880
Jesus!
1006
01:09:46,212 --> 01:09:47,278
Fucking!
1007
01:09:49,012 --> 01:09:50,712
I'm pissing blood here!
1008
01:09:52,280 --> 01:09:53,714
Are you fucking serious?
1009
01:09:56,714 --> 01:09:58,381
Could we not just
have a truce man?
1010
01:09:58,913 --> 01:10:00,144
Don't. Are you real?
1011
01:10:01,946 --> 01:10:03,447
I don't wanna fucking do...
1012
01:10:04,880 --> 01:10:07,579
Well, come the fuck on then, man,
I've had it, I ain't playing no more.
1013
01:10:07,581 --> 01:10:09,145
Come on, then.
1014
01:10:09,147 --> 01:10:10,944
Come on 'en,
come on, then.
1015
01:10:10,946 --> 01:10:12,045
Come on.
1016
01:10:12,047 --> 01:10:15,411
Come on, then!
Come through it come on.
1017
01:10:15,413 --> 01:10:16,844
Come through then, come through...
1018
01:10:16,846 --> 01:10:17,911
Fuck.
1019
01:10:51,914 --> 01:10:55,614
So wait, your uncle's car,
was that, was that real?
1020
01:10:56,714 --> 01:10:57,849
Jesus.
1021
01:10:58,547 --> 01:10:59,915
Was anything true?
1022
01:11:00,847 --> 01:11:02,048
One thing.
1023
01:11:04,115 --> 01:11:06,112
Look she's gone
completely insane.
1024
01:11:06,114 --> 01:11:07,713
I don't even know
who she is anymore.
1025
01:11:07,715 --> 01:11:09,383
She thinks all of this is
going to bring him back.
1026
01:11:09,714 --> 01:11:10,715
Who?
1027
01:11:12,881 --> 01:11:14,279
Fucking hell.
1028
01:11:14,281 --> 01:11:16,548
Love, enough's
e-fucking-nough, innit now?
1029
01:11:27,315 --> 01:11:29,783
Fuck off, love,
I promise ya!
1030
01:11:36,883 --> 01:11:39,048
I'd fucking stay
where you are love.
1031
01:11:39,050 --> 01:11:41,080
Please don't fucking
get up now.
1032
01:11:44,582 --> 01:11:45,749
Stay where the fuck you are!
1033
01:11:47,716 --> 01:11:51,380
Fucking idiot, man,
you're a fucking divvy!
1034
01:11:51,382 --> 01:11:54,713
I fucking told ya!
I'm a fucking bloke!
1035
01:11:54,715 --> 01:11:56,647
I'm a fucking man!
1036
01:12:00,249 --> 01:12:02,183
Stay the fuck down!
1037
01:12:03,749 --> 01:12:07,780
Get up then. Bet I fucking dare ya.
Get the fuck up I dare ya!
1038
01:12:07,782 --> 01:12:09,180
Come on then!
1039
01:12:09,182 --> 01:12:10,949
Go on then,
come the fuck on then!
1040
01:12:12,215 --> 01:12:13,481
Come on!
1041
01:12:25,582 --> 01:12:29,481
Oh, fucking hell, love.
Fucking hell.
1042
01:12:29,483 --> 01:12:31,316
Fucking just let me
have a fucking minute
1043
01:12:35,584 --> 01:12:39,083
Fucking hell, love,
please please please.
1044
01:12:39,782 --> 01:12:40,784
Please.
1045
01:12:44,750 --> 01:12:46,017
Fucking hell.
1046
01:12:48,716 --> 01:12:49,717
Easy there love.
1047
01:12:56,551 --> 01:12:57,551
Fucker.
1048
01:13:02,950 --> 01:13:05,782
Please leave me
the fuck alone! I'm sorry!
1049
01:13:54,818 --> 01:13:56,452
Fucking Jesus.
1050
01:14:05,218 --> 01:14:07,785
Well I wasn't expecting that.
1051
01:14:30,819 --> 01:14:34,186
There's no time to explain to
you, you have to get out of here please.
1052
01:14:35,218 --> 01:14:36,584
What about Alex?
1053
01:14:36,586 --> 01:14:38,249
No, it's too late.
1054
01:14:38,251 --> 01:14:40,552
Please, Jim,
you've got to run!
1055
01:14:41,252 --> 01:14:42,719
Go run!
1056
01:14:50,019 --> 01:14:51,587
I can't keep running away,
you know.
1057
01:14:53,486 --> 01:14:55,286
I've been running away
from things my whole life.
1058
01:14:58,285 --> 01:14:59,287
It's time...
1059
01:15:02,453 --> 01:15:03,654
Daddy's waiting.
1060
01:15:04,385 --> 01:15:05,387
Come on.
1061
01:16:28,954 --> 01:16:30,522
Shush, little boy.
1062
01:19:18,891 --> 01:19:19,891
Daddy!
1063
01:19:26,092 --> 01:19:27,391
Daddy.
1064
01:19:34,291 --> 01:19:36,255
I knew it would work.
1065
01:19:36,257 --> 01:19:38,459
I did everything
you taught me.
1066
01:19:39,592 --> 01:19:42,989
Now what we have to do
is bleed the virgin.
1067
01:19:42,991 --> 01:19:46,458
And we can be a family
again, right? Can't we?
1068
01:19:48,425 --> 01:19:49,426
Right?
1069
01:20:04,725 --> 01:20:05,726
No!
1070
01:20:07,424 --> 01:20:09,389
- Shut up!
- No, please.
1071
01:20:09,391 --> 01:20:11,227
Shut the fuck up!
1072
01:20:11,726 --> 01:20:13,127
Get him, Daddy!
1073
01:20:15,692 --> 01:20:17,456
Please, Kitty,
don't do this!
1074
01:20:17,458 --> 01:20:19,391
Shut up! Shut up!
1075
01:20:32,759 --> 01:20:34,225
Stop it, please.
1076
01:20:34,227 --> 01:20:36,093
I am so sick of you!
1077
01:20:39,093 --> 01:20:40,727
Motherfucker!
1078
01:20:41,925 --> 01:20:43,624
Jim, I'm here for you, mate!
1079
01:20:45,226 --> 01:20:47,891
What is, oh, God...
1080
01:20:47,893 --> 01:20:49,090
Fucking idiot!
1081
01:20:50,961 --> 01:20:52,358
Come on, Jim!
1082
01:20:52,360 --> 01:20:55,061
Shut up,
you fucking ugly bitch!
1083
01:20:57,560 --> 01:20:58,560
Get him Daddy!
1084
01:21:06,393 --> 01:21:09,060
Fuck you, Daddy!
1085
01:21:22,060 --> 01:21:23,428
Daddy!
1086
01:21:26,893 --> 01:21:29,561
Daddy. Daddy. Daddy!
1087
01:21:31,360 --> 01:21:35,592
No, Daddy.
Daddy. Daddy, no.
1088
01:21:37,126 --> 01:21:39,261
Daddy. Daddy.
1089
01:21:58,128 --> 01:22:01,892
Get in! Come on!
1090
01:22:09,161 --> 01:22:11,160
You ginger fucker!
1091
01:23:27,163 --> 01:23:29,164
Jim, am I missing
a tooth here, mate?
1092
01:23:30,263 --> 01:23:31,697
- No, you look fine.
- Okay.
1093
01:23:42,062 --> 01:23:43,329
You should probably run.
1094
01:23:56,430 --> 01:23:58,897
I'm so sorry,
we tried to kill you, Jim.
1095
01:24:02,330 --> 01:24:04,328
I'm sorry, I kicked
your Dad's head off.
1096
01:24:08,763 --> 01:24:10,063
I'll never forget you.
1097
01:24:12,930 --> 01:24:14,331
I don't think
I'll forget you either.
1098
01:24:16,563 --> 01:24:18,261
Not without a few years
of therapy anyway.
1099
01:24:24,797 --> 01:24:25,798
Bye, Jim.
1100
01:24:27,597 --> 01:24:28,597
Bye, Lulu.
1101
01:24:49,732 --> 01:24:50,796
Armed police,
show me your hands.
1102
01:24:50,798 --> 01:24:52,228
Armed police
put your hands in the air.
1103
01:24:52,230 --> 01:24:53,495
Put your hands
where I can see them.
1104
01:24:53,497 --> 01:24:54,595
Keep your hands in the air.
1105
01:24:54,597 --> 01:24:56,264
Walk towards us.
Keep coming towards me.
1106
01:24:58,063 --> 01:24:59,729
Stay still.
1107
01:24:59,731 --> 01:25:01,799
Put your hands on your head. Interlock
your fingers on top of your head do it now.
1108
01:25:03,966 --> 01:25:04,966
Kneel down.
1109
01:25:06,564 --> 01:25:08,265
So what's it like kissing
a psychopath?
1110
01:25:10,032 --> 01:25:11,565
She's not a psychopath.
1111
01:25:13,965 --> 01:25:14,966
Did you get her number?
1112
01:25:16,932 --> 01:25:19,799
She's going to prison, Alex.
Probably for life.
1113
01:25:21,165 --> 01:25:24,898
Yeah, well,
yeah she is.
1114
01:25:26,398 --> 01:25:27,899
Happy birthday, brother.
1115
01:25:28,630 --> 01:25:29,632
Cheers.
1116
01:25:34,699 --> 01:25:36,300
I guess I didn't
keep my promise.
1117
01:25:37,300 --> 01:25:38,300
There's no rush.
1118
01:25:54,840 --> 01:25:59,840
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