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1
00:01:46,232 --> 00:01:48,188
Oh, come on. What's keeping her?
2
00:01:48,272 --> 00:01:51,309
You know the Queen, sire.
Never on time for anything.
3
00:01:51,392 --> 00:01:53,953
Well, this is the last time
she'll keep me waiting.
4
00:01:54,033 --> 00:01:58,264
Yes, indeed, sire. Unless she's
late for her own funeral. Ha, ha.
5
00:02:01,672 --> 00:02:04,311
Oh, blimey, what a time to
have one of her throats.
6
00:02:04,392 --> 00:02:06,397
She always was a
weakly woman, sire.
7
00:02:06,398 --> 00:02:08,145
You're telling me. Once weekly.
8
00:02:08,231 --> 00:02:10,016
Every time I felt
like it, it was, "Not
9
00:02:10,017 --> 00:02:11,667
tonight, dear. I've
got a headache."
10
00:02:11,751 --> 00:02:14,471
No wonder Your Majesty did
not consummate the marriage.
11
00:02:14,552 --> 00:02:15,826
Yeah, marvellous, innit?
12
00:02:15,912 --> 00:02:17,726
After six months of
married life, the
13
00:02:17,727 --> 00:02:19,587
only thing I'm having
off is her head.
14
00:02:19,672 --> 00:02:21,184
♪ Trumpet fanfare ♪
15
00:02:22,791 --> 00:02:24,747
Nice day for it, Your Majesty.
16
00:02:24,831 --> 00:02:26,787
Hardly any wind.
17
00:02:26,871 --> 00:02:29,624
- Good crowd, too.
- Thank you, my Lord Cardinal.
18
00:02:29,711 --> 00:02:33,021
But I feel we can dispense
with the commentary.
19
00:02:33,111 --> 00:02:35,067
♪ Drum roll ♪
20
00:02:47,430 --> 00:02:49,387
I can manage, thank you, Cardinal.
21
00:02:49,471 --> 00:02:52,224
I don't want you to trip
and hurt yourself, madam.
22
00:02:52,311 --> 00:02:54,267
♪ Drum roll ♪
23
00:02:56,190 --> 00:02:58,146
Come on, then.
24
00:03:20,149 --> 00:03:22,868
Do you, Henry, take
this woman to...
25
00:03:22,949 --> 00:03:26,386
I do, and so does she. Right,
love, that's it. Through there.
26
00:03:30,230 --> 00:03:32,697
Her figure's all right.
What about her face?
27
00:03:32,789 --> 00:03:36,020
Oh, I am assured, sire, it is
the fairest in all Normandy.
28
00:03:37,509 --> 00:03:40,342
- What about her...
- Fullest in all Normandy.
29
00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:42,863
- Has she been chaste?
- All over Normandy.
30
00:03:42,949 --> 00:03:44,905
But I am assured never caught.
31
00:03:44,989 --> 00:03:47,059
- Call me at eight o'clock.
- Very well.
32
00:03:47,149 --> 00:03:48,628
Next Thursday.
33
00:03:52,469 --> 00:03:55,585
Marie, Queen of England.
34
00:03:56,667 --> 00:03:58,419
Oh, hello.
35
00:03:58,507 --> 00:04:00,702
Oh. Who are you?
36
00:04:01,947 --> 00:04:04,303
Permit me to introduce
myself, madam.
37
00:04:04,388 --> 00:04:06,344
Sir Roger de Lodgerley.
38
00:04:06,428 --> 00:04:08,383
Oh, how do you do?
39
00:04:08,467 --> 00:04:10,791
The King's personal
equerry, madam, and
40
00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:12,824
already your most devoted admirer.
41
00:04:12,907 --> 00:04:13,907
How nice.
42
00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:16,820
May I? Thank you.
43
00:04:17,827 --> 00:04:19,783
Other one.
44
00:04:19,867 --> 00:04:22,700
Splendid. And one more
for luck. Ha, ha.
45
00:04:22,787 --> 00:04:27,463
Splendid, splendid. But if I might
suggest, just a little more...
46
00:04:28,547 --> 00:04:31,823
Ooh... Perfect, perfect.
47
00:04:31,907 --> 00:04:35,535
- I can be a one when I want.
- Yes, I thought you might be one.
48
00:04:35,626 --> 00:04:39,414
Now, madam, as regards
your actual duties...
49
00:04:39,506 --> 00:04:41,199
Sir Roger, you seem
to forget I was
50
00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:42,704
brought up at the French court.
51
00:04:42,787 --> 00:04:44,856
In fact, I had an
excellent position there.
52
00:04:44,946 --> 00:04:49,064
Oh, I know. And I hear the French
position is very good. Ha, ha.
53
00:04:52,306 --> 00:04:54,661
Still here, I see, sir Roger?
54
00:04:54,746 --> 00:04:57,976
I was instructing Her Majesty
in procedure, Your Grace.
55
00:04:58,066 --> 00:04:59,818
Thank you very much, sir Roger.
56
00:04:59,906 --> 00:05:03,137
I trust everything is to your
satisfaction, Your Grace?
57
00:05:03,226 --> 00:05:05,820
- I'll let you know later.
- You won't want that, will you?
58
00:05:05,906 --> 00:05:06,941
- What?
- That.
59
00:05:07,026 --> 00:05:09,095
- Oh, no, course not.
- Oh, thank you.
60
00:05:09,185 --> 00:05:12,336
I suppose you're anxious
to bed your queen.
61
00:05:12,425 --> 00:05:13,425
Naturally.
62
00:05:13,426 --> 00:05:14,780
Well, if you should want anything,
63
00:05:14,865 --> 00:05:15,876
I'm only next door.
64
00:05:15,877 --> 00:05:18,381
I don't think we'll trouble
you further tonight.
65
00:05:18,466 --> 00:05:21,104
Ha, ha, ha.
66
00:05:23,465 --> 00:05:25,501
And how's my beautiful
queen, then?
67
00:05:25,585 --> 00:05:27,780
Well and eager to please, my lord.
68
00:05:27,865 --> 00:05:29,821
Good.
69
00:05:29,905 --> 00:05:32,658
- Here we go, then.
- Oh, just one moment, my lord.
70
00:05:32,744 --> 00:05:34,700
There is something
I must do first.
71
00:05:34,784 --> 00:05:38,255
Oh, yes, right. Well, I'll just
go and wash my hands, then.
72
00:06:04,904 --> 00:06:07,054
- Well, all done, then?
- Yes, my lord.
73
00:06:07,144 --> 00:06:09,816
I have waited for this
moment for so long.
74
00:06:12,143 --> 00:06:13,143
Cor blimey.
75
00:06:13,144 --> 00:06:15,660
Why, what is it?
What ails my lord?
76
00:06:15,744 --> 00:06:17,809
That smell. What have
you been eating?
77
00:06:17,810 --> 00:06:18,810
Smell?
78
00:06:18,811 --> 00:06:20,540
It is merely garlic.
79
00:06:20,624 --> 00:06:21,624
Garlic?
80
00:06:21,625 --> 00:06:23,933
Yes, it is an old
custom in Normandy.
81
00:06:24,023 --> 00:06:28,539
I adore it. And taken regularly,
no germs will come near one.
82
00:06:28,623 --> 00:06:30,580
- I don't blame 'em.
- Not only that,
83
00:06:30,664 --> 00:06:33,735
it is said to greatly increase
one's sexual appetite.
84
00:06:33,823 --> 00:06:35,485
I've got news for you. Come the
85
00:06:35,486 --> 00:06:37,577
morning, you're going
to be starving.
86
00:06:37,663 --> 00:06:39,221
What means my lord?
87
00:06:39,303 --> 00:06:41,419
Nothing. Just don't
bother to make any
88
00:06:41,420 --> 00:06:43,535
more hairdressing
appointments. Roger.
89
00:06:43,623 --> 00:06:44,623
Sir Roger.
90
00:06:44,663 --> 00:06:46,892
Sir Roger, where are you?
91
00:06:46,982 --> 00:06:49,543
Come, come, my Lord Cardinal.
92
00:06:49,623 --> 00:06:52,262
A glass of wine to celebrate.
93
00:06:53,823 --> 00:06:55,779
You rang, m'lord?
94
00:06:55,863 --> 00:06:57,932
Ah, yes, Mistress Scrub.
95
00:06:58,022 --> 00:07:00,172
Wine for myself and
my Lord Cardinal.
96
00:07:00,262 --> 00:07:02,218
Oh, yes, m'lord.
97
00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:17,134
- Will that be all, m'lord?
- For the nonce.
98
00:07:17,222 --> 00:07:19,975
Oh. Ooh, Your Eminence.
99
00:07:22,381 --> 00:07:26,773
Come, let us drink to the King's
marriage and an early issue.
100
00:07:26,862 --> 00:07:29,934
- You will not drink?
- After you, my lord.
101
00:07:30,022 --> 00:07:34,697
My dear Cardinal, you surely don't
suspect that I, your friend,
102
00:07:34,781 --> 00:07:36,976
would have poisoned your wine?
103
00:07:37,061 --> 00:07:39,859
Men in our position have
enemies everywhere.
104
00:07:39,941 --> 00:07:42,853
- One cannot be too careful.
- There.
105
00:07:42,941 --> 00:07:44,898
Satisfied?
106
00:07:47,821 --> 00:07:49,857
To issue.
107
00:07:49,941 --> 00:07:52,057
- Issue.
- All fall down.
108
00:07:52,141 --> 00:07:53,733
Oh, my God.
109
00:07:53,821 --> 00:07:56,699
Cromwell, Wolsey. Where
are you, you blackguards?
110
00:07:56,781 --> 00:07:59,738
Oh, ho. Methinks the issue
is already in doubt.
111
00:08:02,060 --> 00:08:04,211
I'll have your bleeding
heads for this.
112
00:08:04,301 --> 00:08:07,373
Why, sire? What is wrong? Is
not this mating successful?
113
00:08:07,461 --> 00:08:10,098
Successful? As far as the Queen
is concerned, I've had it.
114
00:08:10,179 --> 00:08:12,693
Oh, well, it's all right, then.
115
00:08:12,779 --> 00:08:15,213
Will you shut up and
listen? She has got to go.
116
00:08:15,299 --> 00:08:17,176
Go? But why?
117
00:08:17,259 --> 00:08:19,167
Why? Because it turns
out that Her most
118
00:08:19,168 --> 00:08:21,219
gracious Majesty, Marie,
Queen of England,
119
00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:24,336
wife of the Defender of the Faith,
is also a basher of the garlic.
120
00:08:24,419 --> 00:08:26,091
Garlic? What is garlic?
121
00:08:26,179 --> 00:08:28,418
A small bulbearing
plant of the onion
122
00:08:28,419 --> 00:08:30,775
family, used extensively
by the French.
123
00:08:30,859 --> 00:08:32,815
I don't give a damn what it is.
124
00:08:32,899 --> 00:08:35,617
All I know is I had one pong
of it and my ambition wilted.
125
00:08:35,698 --> 00:08:38,132
But this need not be a
serious problem, sire.
126
00:08:38,218 --> 00:08:42,132
I'm sure if the Cardinal here were
to have a word with Her Majesty.
127
00:08:42,219 --> 00:08:44,335
Oh, yes, of course.
I'll go immediately.
128
00:08:44,419 --> 00:08:46,593
I am confident he will
be able to persuade
129
00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:48,616
her to give up this
odious habit, sire.
130
00:08:48,698 --> 00:08:51,337
Probably. But I doubt
I'll ever fancy it again.
131
00:08:51,418 --> 00:08:53,136
Enter, my lord.
132
00:08:57,098 --> 00:08:59,054
Pardon this intrusion, madam,
133
00:08:59,138 --> 00:09:02,130
but I come on a matter
of some urgency.
134
00:09:02,218 --> 00:09:04,971
Not at all, my lord. We are
pleased to receive you.
135
00:09:05,058 --> 00:09:06,457
Phew.
136
00:09:06,538 --> 00:09:09,291
It was all going marvellously.
137
00:09:09,378 --> 00:09:12,050
There she was, lying
in bed waiting for it.
138
00:09:12,137 --> 00:09:14,476
I said to myself, "At
last, this is it, Harry
139
00:09:14,477 --> 00:09:16,814
boy." I'm just about to
grab her... and boof.
140
00:09:16,898 --> 00:09:19,412
- Right in the kisser.
- Ooh.
141
00:09:19,498 --> 00:09:21,454
But don't upset yourself, sire.
142
00:09:21,538 --> 00:09:23,767
Pray be seated. Have
a goblet of wine.
143
00:09:23,857 --> 00:09:26,325
I tell you, it will
make your spirits rise.
144
00:09:26,417 --> 00:09:29,853
I need more than wine to make
anything rise now, I can tell you.
145
00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:32,895
Nonsense, sire. Come. Drink.
146
00:09:32,977 --> 00:09:35,775
And it is rather a special one.
147
00:09:38,937 --> 00:09:40,893
- What did she say?
- No.
148
00:09:40,977 --> 00:09:42,933
- No.
- She refuses to give it up.
149
00:09:43,017 --> 00:09:45,212
Refuses? That settles
it. Get her annulled.
150
00:09:45,297 --> 00:09:49,369
- An old what, sire?
- Annul the marriage, you fool.
151
00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:52,528
Oh, I'm afraid that would be out
of the question, Your Majesty.
152
00:09:52,617 --> 00:09:55,450
- The Pope would be livid.
- What's it got to do with him?
153
00:09:55,537 --> 00:09:58,125
When this match was
announced, he declared it
154
00:09:58,126 --> 00:10:00,769
would be very bad for a
man to have six wives.
155
00:10:00,856 --> 00:10:03,416
How would he know?
He's never tried it.
156
00:10:03,496 --> 00:10:06,454
If I may be permitted to make
a suggestion, Your Grace?
157
00:10:06,536 --> 00:10:08,891
This is no time to get
suggestive, sir Roger.
158
00:10:08,976 --> 00:10:11,854
I was merely going to say, if
she refuses to give it up,
159
00:10:11,936 --> 00:10:13,833
you could take
preventative measures
160
00:10:13,834 --> 00:10:15,372
against the unpleasant odour.
161
00:10:15,456 --> 00:10:17,820
Are you suggesting
that I, the greatest
162
00:10:17,821 --> 00:10:20,007
monarch that England
has ever known,
163
00:10:20,096 --> 00:10:22,450
should stoop to stuffing
cotton wool up my hooter?
164
00:10:22,535 --> 00:10:24,491
Nothing so drastic, sire.
165
00:10:24,575 --> 00:10:27,328
But I happen to know that if
one also eats the garlic,
166
00:10:27,415 --> 00:10:29,407
the smell is unnoticeable.
167
00:10:29,496 --> 00:10:31,771
Do you mean me give in to her?
168
00:10:31,856 --> 00:10:34,369
Never. Never. Not on your Nelly.
169
00:10:34,455 --> 00:10:37,447
No. I've made up my mind.
Annul the marriage.
170
00:10:37,535 --> 00:10:39,286
But the only way a marriage can be
171
00:10:39,287 --> 00:10:41,448
annulled is if they
haven't, you know...
172
00:10:41,535 --> 00:10:43,173
Yes, yes, come on, spit it out.
173
00:10:43,255 --> 00:10:45,530
To put it bluntly, sire,
174
00:10:47,374 --> 00:10:49,331
did you consume it?
175
00:10:49,415 --> 00:10:51,371
Did I what?
176
00:10:51,455 --> 00:10:53,411
Consume it.
177
00:10:53,495 --> 00:10:56,373
Has the marriage been consumed?
178
00:10:56,455 --> 00:10:59,446
I fancy he means
consummated, sire.
179
00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:02,332
The verb "consume" means to eat.
180
00:11:02,414 --> 00:11:04,078
That's all you know.
In my dictionary,
181
00:11:04,079 --> 00:11:05,486
it's to eat or to have a nibble.
182
00:11:05,574 --> 00:11:08,042
Not that kind of nibble,
you great fat ape.
183
00:11:08,043 --> 00:11:09,329
You steaming great...
184
00:11:09,415 --> 00:11:12,087
Shut up, the two of
you. The answer is no.
185
00:11:12,174 --> 00:11:14,734
I have neither eaten,
consumed or had a nibble.
186
00:11:14,814 --> 00:11:16,581
So just you make
absolutely sure you
187
00:11:16,582 --> 00:11:18,443
get rid of her by the
time I get back.
188
00:11:18,534 --> 00:11:21,765
But wait, wait. Your
Majesty's going somewhere?
189
00:11:21,854 --> 00:11:24,208
- Yes, hunting.
- Oh, nice. What for?
190
00:11:24,293 --> 00:11:26,649
Something to eat. I'm
starving. Ha, ha.
191
00:11:30,014 --> 00:11:31,970
This is terrible, terrible.
192
00:11:32,054 --> 00:11:34,692
I cannot risk disfavour
with the Vatican again.
193
00:11:34,773 --> 00:11:37,845
Nor I with France. Marie is
their king's favourite cousin.
194
00:11:37,933 --> 00:11:40,891
It would seem we must unite, my
lord, to keep this marriage alive.
195
00:11:40,973 --> 00:11:43,568
- Of course, but how?
- By procrastination.
196
00:11:43,654 --> 00:11:47,168
What? If he has that, he'll
never be able to have an issue.
197
00:11:47,253 --> 00:11:51,690
Oh, dear. You really must get
another dictionary, Cardinal.
198
00:12:21,253 --> 00:12:22,401
It's only me.
199
00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:25,449
Oh, I thought it
might be the King.
200
00:12:25,531 --> 00:12:28,489
Alas, madam, he's been called
out on state business.
201
00:12:28,571 --> 00:12:30,607
I just popped in to
see if there was...
202
00:12:30,691 --> 00:12:32,682
anything you wanted.
203
00:12:32,771 --> 00:12:34,727
Oh, yes, there is, sir Roger.
204
00:12:34,810 --> 00:12:38,007
But I doubt if you
could supply it.
205
00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:39,809
Oh, no.
206
00:12:39,891 --> 00:12:41,244
Oh.
207
00:12:41,331 --> 00:12:43,367
What a delightful odour.
208
00:12:44,411 --> 00:12:46,481
Can it be... garlic?
209
00:12:46,571 --> 00:12:50,040
Why, yes. Do you like
it, then, sir Roger?
210
00:12:50,130 --> 00:12:52,007
Everyone should have it.
211
00:12:52,090 --> 00:12:53,808
Oh, well.
212
00:12:53,890 --> 00:12:55,846
Here, help yourself.
213
00:12:55,930 --> 00:12:57,887
Thank you.
214
00:13:02,050 --> 00:13:04,610
Ah, that's better. Ha, ha.
215
00:13:04,690 --> 00:13:07,158
So now to work.
216
00:13:07,250 --> 00:13:09,006
Why, sir Roger,
what are you about?
217
00:13:09,007 --> 00:13:10,162
I'm undressing, madam.
218
00:13:10,250 --> 00:13:12,809
- But to what end?
- Didn't you know?
219
00:13:12,889 --> 00:13:17,168
As the King's taster, I have to
try everything before he does.
220
00:13:34,650 --> 00:13:37,209
♪ Hunting horns ♪
221
00:14:12,528 --> 00:14:14,452
We have found well
today, Your Majesty.
222
00:14:14,453 --> 00:14:15,918
Stop calling me Your Majesty.
223
00:14:16,008 --> 00:14:17,964
At this sport, I'm
always incognito.
224
00:14:18,048 --> 00:14:20,025
Of course. Will we
wait for you, sire?
225
00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:22,485
No, I'll find my own way
back. It may take time.
226
00:14:22,568 --> 00:14:23,843
Oh. Good hunting, sire.
227
00:14:23,844 --> 00:14:26,037
Thank you. I'll save
the brush for you.
228
00:14:26,127 --> 00:14:28,083
Walk on.
229
00:14:41,167 --> 00:14:42,167
Ha, ha, ha.
230
00:14:52,247 --> 00:14:54,203
Well, well, well, my pretty.
231
00:14:54,287 --> 00:14:56,039
Ha-ha, ha-ha.
232
00:14:56,127 --> 00:14:57,253
Don't be frightened.
233
00:14:57,254 --> 00:14:59,199
Who are you? And what do you want?
234
00:14:59,287 --> 00:15:01,113
Just a hunter looking
for some sport.
235
00:15:01,114 --> 00:15:02,437
You look like a gentleman.
236
00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:04,482
Don't let the clothes
fool you. Come here.
237
00:15:04,566 --> 00:15:06,523
Come here, come here.
238
00:15:06,607 --> 00:15:09,804
Hey, not so fast there. I
don't even know your name.
239
00:15:09,887 --> 00:15:11,842
Call me Henry.
240
00:15:11,926 --> 00:15:15,282
Henry? Same as that
miserable sot who rules us.
241
00:15:15,366 --> 00:15:18,324
- Miserable what?
- Sot.
242
00:15:18,406 --> 00:15:20,556
Oh, sot. Oh, he's quite
a nice fellow, really.
243
00:15:20,646 --> 00:15:23,160
Oh? You want to hear my
dad go on about him.
244
00:15:23,246 --> 00:15:25,521
The way he keeps
screwing us on taxes.
245
00:15:25,606 --> 00:15:28,723
Whatever else he does, I can
assure you it's not screwing.
246
00:15:28,806 --> 00:15:30,876
My dad says hanging's
too good for him.
247
00:15:30,966 --> 00:15:33,241
He'd like to see him
fry in his own fat.
248
00:15:33,326 --> 00:15:35,454
Really? I must meet
your dad sometime.
249
00:15:35,455 --> 00:15:37,364
I'd like to swap recipes with him.
250
00:15:37,445 --> 00:15:41,199
My dad says him and Earl Cromwell
are a right pretty pair.
251
00:15:41,285 --> 00:15:43,842
Not half as pretty as
the one I'm looking at.
252
00:15:43,843 --> 00:15:44,961
Oh, no, you don't.
253
00:15:45,046 --> 00:15:47,401
We're not in the hay just to
look for needles, are we?
254
00:15:47,486 --> 00:15:50,875
That's all very well. But
what am I going to get?
255
00:15:50,965 --> 00:15:54,162
What are you going to get?
What do you normally get?
256
00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:56,697
You know what I mean.
People are prepared
257
00:15:56,698 --> 00:15:58,682
to pay handsomely for my favours.
258
00:15:58,765 --> 00:16:00,835
Oh, blimey.
259
00:16:00,925 --> 00:16:03,883
Here, I've only got a
two shilling piece.
260
00:16:03,965 --> 00:16:07,321
Oh. I haven't got any change.
261
00:16:07,405 --> 00:16:09,361
Don't worry, darling.
262
00:16:09,445 --> 00:16:11,401
You can owe it to me.
263
00:16:13,284 --> 00:16:14,956
Oh. Ooh.
264
00:16:15,044 --> 00:16:17,000
Ha, ha, ha.
265
00:16:19,365 --> 00:16:21,321
Ooh, aren't your hands rough?
266
00:16:21,405 --> 00:16:24,396
Oh, hang on, I'll take
off my gauntlets.
267
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:27,840
- Oooh.
- Is that better?
268
00:16:27,924 --> 00:16:30,197
Cor, you don't waste
much time, do you?
269
00:16:30,198 --> 00:16:31,712
No, blimey, why should I?
270
00:16:31,804 --> 00:16:33,760
How many petticoats have you got?
271
00:16:33,844 --> 00:16:36,151
Blimey, it's like
peeling an artichoke.
272
00:16:36,242 --> 00:16:38,199
Ha, ha, ha.
273
00:16:45,923 --> 00:16:47,879
So that's the way of it?
274
00:16:47,962 --> 00:16:50,271
You varmint. I'll kill you.
275
00:16:50,362 --> 00:16:52,432
- Hang on, just a minute.
- It's my dad.
276
00:16:52,522 --> 00:16:54,080
Is it? Blimey.
277
00:16:54,162 --> 00:16:55,976
Before you do anything
you'll regret,
278
00:16:55,977 --> 00:16:57,838
let me tell you who
you're talking to.
279
00:16:57,923 --> 00:17:00,277
I happen to be... Your
dad, did you say?
280
00:17:00,362 --> 00:17:03,081
- Yes.
- Go on, you are what?
281
00:17:03,162 --> 00:17:05,881
I'm off. Give me my money back.
282
00:17:11,602 --> 00:17:13,671
Oh, blimey. In it again.
283
00:17:19,962 --> 00:17:21,918
You may be seated.
284
00:17:26,801 --> 00:17:28,996
Are Their Majesties
not coming to dinner?
285
00:17:29,081 --> 00:17:32,357
I doubt it. The King
is still away hunting
286
00:17:32,441 --> 00:17:35,150
and the Queen has vowed
to remain in her
287
00:17:35,151 --> 00:17:37,595
room until she's no
longer a virgin.
288
00:17:37,681 --> 00:17:40,991
Poor dear woman. Perhaps I could
do something to get her down.
289
00:17:41,081 --> 00:17:43,879
By way of verbal
persuasion, I mean.
290
00:17:43,961 --> 00:17:47,112
Any kind of persuasion from
you would get anybody down.
291
00:17:47,201 --> 00:17:50,272
No, let her stay there and
stew in her own juice.
292
00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:53,398
Her most gracious
Majesty, Queen Marie.
293
00:17:53,481 --> 00:17:55,392
Good Lord.
294
00:17:55,481 --> 00:17:56,914
♪ Trumpet fanfare ♪
295
00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:03,890
Good evening, my Lord Chancellor.
296
00:18:03,891 --> 00:18:06,516
Your Majesty, this is
an unexpected surprise.
297
00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:09,673
We've not had the pleasure of
your company for a meal as yet.
298
00:18:09,761 --> 00:18:11,834
No, I've been having
it in my room with
299
00:18:11,835 --> 00:18:13,958
Sir Roger. He persuaded
me to come down.
300
00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:18,716
Oh, well, Your Majesty, all I can
say is your loss is our gain.
301
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:20,950
Thank you. The King
is not home yet?
302
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:23,554
Still away, madam,
on urgent business.
303
00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:25,948
State affairs, you understand?
304
00:18:26,039 --> 00:18:28,210
Excellent. Then, sir
Roger, it is my
305
00:18:28,211 --> 00:18:30,556
wish that you be
seated here beside me.
306
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:33,473
Ou? La, madam? No, that
is the King's place.
307
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:35,442
Marry, sir Roger, you
did not show the
308
00:18:35,443 --> 00:18:37,518
same reluctance to take
his place earlier.
309
00:18:40,239 --> 00:18:42,389
Her Majesty jests, of course.
310
00:18:42,479 --> 00:18:44,814
With your permission, I
will take my usual seat.
311
00:18:44,815 --> 00:18:46,233
Oh, do as I say and shut up.
312
00:18:46,319 --> 00:18:49,152
Pray be seated,
ladies and gentlemen.
313
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,037
Quite nice.
314
00:19:01,118 --> 00:19:02,915
A drink, madam?
315
00:19:02,998 --> 00:19:04,028
Thank you.
316
00:19:04,029 --> 00:19:07,117
I can heartily recommend
the porter here.
317
00:19:07,199 --> 00:19:10,475
Really? Then do send him
up to my room later.
318
00:19:11,959 --> 00:19:16,190
- You're not eating?
- With your permission, madam.
319
00:19:28,198 --> 00:19:31,156
You do not find it appetising?
320
00:19:31,238 --> 00:19:35,356
Oh, yes, madam. But it has a
somewhat unusual flavour.
321
00:19:35,438 --> 00:19:37,155
Oh, that'll be the garlic.
322
00:19:39,797 --> 00:19:42,437
I sent orders to the kitchen
to have it put in everything.
323
00:19:44,318 --> 00:19:47,913
I felt it might be a step
toward... converting the King.
324
00:19:49,437 --> 00:19:52,395
His Majesty, the King.
325
00:19:52,477 --> 00:19:55,355
Ah, my dear devoted
husband has returned.
326
00:20:10,477 --> 00:20:12,339
She's stunk the whole
place out with
327
00:20:12,340 --> 00:20:14,151
it. Haven't you got
rid of her yet?
328
00:20:14,236 --> 00:20:17,546
A slight technical hitch, Your
Majesty. I shall explain later.
329
00:20:17,636 --> 00:20:19,593
It better be good. Or.
330
00:20:27,676 --> 00:20:29,428
All right, carry on eating.
331
00:20:31,276 --> 00:20:33,665
I'm starving. What's
good, Cromwell?
332
00:20:33,756 --> 00:20:36,509
Oh, I wouldn't recommend
anything tonight, sire.
333
00:20:36,596 --> 00:20:39,429
I'd just have a cup of tea
and a bun in your room.
334
00:20:39,516 --> 00:20:41,282
Don't be silly. It
looks very tasty.
335
00:20:41,283 --> 00:20:42,713
Especially the roast peacock.
336
00:20:42,796 --> 00:20:45,993
Definitely not up to standard,
sire. It's all cock and no pea.
337
00:20:46,076 --> 00:20:47,509
That's exactly how I like it.
338
00:20:54,594 --> 00:20:57,348
Sir Roger has tasted
it, I suppose?
339
00:20:57,435 --> 00:21:00,666
Oh, yes. As a matter of fact,
he's tried everything.
340
00:21:00,755 --> 00:21:01,789
Good.
341
00:21:11,554 --> 00:21:13,305
That does it.
342
00:21:13,393 --> 00:21:16,352
- Out. I want her out of here now.
- Do not worry, I am leaving.
343
00:21:16,434 --> 00:21:18,390
- Good.
- But to go to my bedchamber,
344
00:21:18,474 --> 00:21:20,544
where, in due course, I
expect you to join me.
345
00:21:20,634 --> 00:21:22,531
Me join you? Hah, you'll be lucky.
346
00:21:22,532 --> 00:21:24,070
If I am not lucky, my lord,
347
00:21:24,154 --> 00:21:27,111
you may be sure my cousin King
Francis will learn of it.
348
00:21:27,193 --> 00:21:29,309
She threatened me.
Get the executioner.
349
00:21:29,393 --> 00:21:31,632
I beg you, sire, do
nothing now that you may
350
00:21:31,633 --> 00:21:34,070
regret later. We can ill
afford to fight France.
351
00:21:34,154 --> 00:21:36,793
Are you telling me they will
declare war if I don't bed her?
352
00:21:36,874 --> 00:21:38,943
Wars have been fought
over less, sire.
353
00:21:52,393 --> 00:21:54,748
The thing to do, sire,
is to play for time.
354
00:21:54,833 --> 00:21:57,188
Act the part of a loving husband.
355
00:21:57,273 --> 00:21:58,273
Impossible.
356
00:21:58,274 --> 00:21:59,503
You don't have to enjoy it, sire.
357
00:21:59,593 --> 00:22:01,439
Simply go through the motions.
358
00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:03,631
How can I, without doing anything?
359
00:22:03,712 --> 00:22:06,597
Yes, that's true. It
would seem the Queen has
360
00:22:06,598 --> 00:22:09,231
got you by the
well-known... chandeliers.
361
00:22:09,313 --> 00:22:11,407
Exactly. And if I do
bed her, Wolsey won't
362
00:22:11,408 --> 00:22:13,306
be able to get the
annulment, will he?
363
00:22:13,393 --> 00:22:16,111
Yes, well, that is liable
to take time, Your Majesty.
364
00:22:16,192 --> 00:22:18,706
I haven't got time. I
need another wife.
365
00:22:18,792 --> 00:22:20,975
Yes, well, perhaps
in the meantime you
366
00:22:20,976 --> 00:22:22,990
could make some
other arrangements?
367
00:22:23,072 --> 00:22:24,869
What other arrangements?
368
00:22:24,952 --> 00:22:26,987
Like taking a mistress.
369
00:22:27,071 --> 00:22:31,350
I am the King, with a proud
family motto to uphold.
370
00:22:33,472 --> 00:22:35,380
Never spit on your own doorstep.
371
00:22:35,381 --> 00:22:37,624
But my Lord Cardinal
is right, sire.
372
00:22:37,711 --> 00:22:39,986
We must step cautiously.
373
00:22:40,071 --> 00:22:42,505
Don't tell me. How do you
think we got the motto?
374
00:22:42,591 --> 00:22:45,549
No, I mean a hasty divorce
would be disastrous, sire.
375
00:22:45,631 --> 00:22:47,523
Besides, there is
no immediate hurry
376
00:22:47,524 --> 00:22:49,261
for you to marry again, is there?
377
00:22:49,352 --> 00:22:51,307
No, tomorrow will do, I suppose.
378
00:22:51,391 --> 00:22:54,622
Tomorrow? Has Your Majesty
already got a new queen in mind?
379
00:22:54,711 --> 00:22:56,667
Well, I haven't had time
to look around yet.
380
00:22:56,751 --> 00:22:59,902
If you could keep the
Queen amused for a while.
381
00:22:59,991 --> 00:23:02,629
Just keep her mind off it.
382
00:23:02,710 --> 00:23:05,100
She's a Frenchwoman. Their
minds are never off it.
383
00:23:05,191 --> 00:23:07,580
There must be something
else you could do together.
384
00:23:07,671 --> 00:23:09,627
- I have it.
- Yes, what?
385
00:23:09,711 --> 00:23:11,942
There's that new game
that's all the rage
386
00:23:11,943 --> 00:23:14,067
in the court. What
do they call it now?
387
00:23:14,150 --> 00:23:16,823
Ah, yes. Tiddlywinks.
388
00:23:16,910 --> 00:23:19,105
Tiddlywinks?
389
00:23:19,190 --> 00:23:20,862
It was just an idea.
390
00:23:20,950 --> 00:23:22,303
Well, it was a lousy one.
391
00:23:22,390 --> 00:23:24,420
Cannot you understand
that I want something
392
00:23:24,421 --> 00:23:26,542
to keep me away from her
until the annulment?
393
00:23:26,630 --> 00:23:29,781
Aha. That gives me an idea, sire.
394
00:23:29,870 --> 00:23:32,746
There is one sure way by
which she would never
395
00:23:32,747 --> 00:23:35,866
suspect that you were trying
to avoid... you know.
396
00:23:35,950 --> 00:23:37,090
Yes, yes, yes. What?
397
00:23:37,091 --> 00:23:39,578
Suppose there were to
be a plot against you.
398
00:23:39,669 --> 00:23:41,985
Suppose you were to
be abducted from
399
00:23:41,986 --> 00:23:44,300
her bedchamber before
her very eyes.
400
00:23:44,390 --> 00:23:46,793
That's it. But who do we
get to do the abducting?
401
00:23:46,794 --> 00:23:49,100
It has to be somebody
discreet and trustworthy.
402
00:23:49,190 --> 00:23:51,275
I have the very man
in mind, sire. One
403
00:23:51,276 --> 00:23:53,467
of Your Majesty's most
loyal supporters.
404
00:23:53,549 --> 00:23:55,505
Lord Hampton of Wick.
405
00:23:55,589 --> 00:23:57,545
That's it. Go to it, Cromwell.
406
00:23:57,629 --> 00:24:01,066
Aye, sire. But you must go to
the Queen's bedchamber, now.
407
00:24:01,150 --> 00:24:03,709
Yes. Yes, I suppose I must.
408
00:24:04,749 --> 00:24:06,705
Ah, well.
409
00:24:11,269 --> 00:24:13,225
The things I do for England.
410
00:24:14,788 --> 00:24:16,540
Right, gentlemen.
411
00:24:16,628 --> 00:24:20,258
We are agreed that for the good
of England, Henry must go.
412
00:24:20,349 --> 00:24:22,305
But how?
413
00:24:23,669 --> 00:24:25,625
How is it to be accomplished?
414
00:24:25,709 --> 00:24:28,427
I've had one idea, Lord Hampton.
415
00:24:28,508 --> 00:24:31,580
You see, I have these
barrels of gunpowder.
416
00:24:31,668 --> 00:24:34,104
If we could smuggle
them into Parliament
417
00:24:34,105 --> 00:24:35,946
when he opens the next session
418
00:24:36,028 --> 00:24:37,985
and blow the lot up...
419
00:24:38,069 --> 00:24:41,697
An excellent notion, Fawkes, but
you overlook one small detail.
420
00:24:41,788 --> 00:24:44,780
We all sit in Parliament.
421
00:24:44,868 --> 00:24:46,984
Who is that?
422
00:24:47,068 --> 00:24:48,387
I, Thomas Cromwell.
423
00:24:48,468 --> 00:24:50,423
Cromwell. Quickly.
424
00:24:58,788 --> 00:25:01,621
My Lord Chancellor. This
is indeed an honour.
425
00:25:01,708 --> 00:25:04,267
Yes. Having a meeting, Hampton?
426
00:25:04,347 --> 00:25:08,658
Just the usual Friday night
sewing circle, my lord.
427
00:25:17,706 --> 00:25:19,662
Interesting.
428
00:25:19,746 --> 00:25:21,702
You like the designs?
429
00:25:21,786 --> 00:25:25,256
Yes, but not as much as those
that you have on the King's life.
430
00:25:25,346 --> 00:25:28,462
What? My lord, I know not
what you talk about.
431
00:25:28,545 --> 00:25:30,473
Really? Then you
won't be interested
432
00:25:30,474 --> 00:25:32,505
to learn the King has
expressed a wish
433
00:25:32,586 --> 00:25:34,736
to be forcibly abducted tonight.
434
00:25:35,906 --> 00:25:36,935
He's what?
435
00:25:36,936 --> 00:25:40,023
Purely to suit his
own ends, of course.
436
00:25:40,105 --> 00:25:42,858
I thought you might like the job.
437
00:25:42,945 --> 00:25:44,885
Well, of course, I
would be honoured.
438
00:25:44,886 --> 00:25:46,620
But what about the palace guards?
439
00:25:46,705 --> 00:25:48,661
He has already removed them.
440
00:25:48,745 --> 00:25:51,782
I see. And after he
has been abducted?
441
00:25:51,865 --> 00:25:55,096
Well, that's up to you, of
course. Accidents will happen.
442
00:25:56,185 --> 00:25:59,336
No, no, no. You're not
doing it properly.
443
00:25:59,425 --> 00:26:01,381
I know how to do it.
444
00:26:01,465 --> 00:26:03,898
Well, look, like this. Look. See?
445
00:26:03,984 --> 00:26:06,214
Now you have a go. Into that bowl.
446
00:26:07,584 --> 00:26:11,214
Are you sure this is really an
old English pre-mating ritual?
447
00:26:11,305 --> 00:26:13,261
Of course it is. It's traditional.
448
00:26:13,345 --> 00:26:16,063
Before you can mate properly,
you have to get one in.
449
00:26:16,144 --> 00:26:18,100
I thought everybody knew that.
450
00:26:18,184 --> 00:26:19,776
Oh, very well, then.
451
00:26:21,744 --> 00:26:24,816
- Ah. I've done it.
- You cheated.
452
00:26:24,904 --> 00:26:27,657
I didn't. You saw.
453
00:26:27,744 --> 00:26:29,939
So you can come to bed
with me now, can't you?
454
00:26:30,024 --> 00:26:31,943
Er, no, you have to tiddle first.
455
00:26:31,944 --> 00:26:32,944
I have tiddled.
456
00:26:32,984 --> 00:26:35,134
No, no, no, that was winking.
457
00:26:35,224 --> 00:26:39,375
Look, when we began, you told me
I had to tiddle into the pot.
458
00:26:39,463 --> 00:26:42,660
You have to wink
in and tiddle out.
459
00:26:42,743 --> 00:26:44,222
Oh, all right, then.
460
00:26:45,904 --> 00:26:48,896
- There. Satisfied?
- Very good, very good indeed.
461
00:26:48,984 --> 00:26:50,679
Well, that's one game to you. We
462
00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:52,692
start again. First
one to get 20 in.
463
00:26:52,783 --> 00:26:56,617
- 20? We'll be at it all night.
- Not if I can help it.
464
00:26:56,703 --> 00:26:59,900
- Well, I've had enough.
- What did you do that for?
465
00:26:59,983 --> 00:27:01,939
You can't fool me, Henry Tudor.
466
00:27:02,023 --> 00:27:04,583
You are trying to avoid
getting into bed with me.
467
00:27:04,663 --> 00:27:08,019
How could you possibly
get an idea like that?
468
00:27:08,103 --> 00:27:10,856
I'm just putting it
off, that's all.
469
00:27:10,943 --> 00:27:14,253
- The great moment, I mean.
- Oh, well...
470
00:27:14,343 --> 00:27:17,971
While you are putting it off,
I will just write a note
471
00:27:18,062 --> 00:27:21,134
to my cousin Francis,
the King of France.
472
00:27:22,783 --> 00:27:25,343
Yes, well, perhaps we
have waited long enough.
473
00:27:35,742 --> 00:27:37,682
We won't be needing that, will we?
474
00:27:37,683 --> 00:27:39,097
Where are you going now?
475
00:27:39,181 --> 00:27:40,979
Empty the pan.
476
00:27:41,062 --> 00:27:43,132
Leave it to the servants.
477
00:27:43,222 --> 00:27:45,178
Yes, all right, then.
478
00:27:58,942 --> 00:28:00,898
Well, here we are, then.
479
00:28:02,462 --> 00:28:04,417
What shall we do now?
480
00:28:04,501 --> 00:28:06,856
- What shall we do?
- Yes. Any ideas?
481
00:28:06,941 --> 00:28:09,011
What do you do with all
your other wives in bed?
482
00:28:09,101 --> 00:28:11,057
Ah, let me think. Now, then...
483
00:28:11,141 --> 00:28:14,053
With old Jane, we used to
play noughts and crosses.
484
00:28:14,141 --> 00:28:16,017
Noughts and crosses?
485
00:28:16,100 --> 00:28:18,661
Yes, I kept giving her
nought and she got cross.
486
00:28:18,741 --> 00:28:21,209
That reminds me. Have I told
you about my other wives?
487
00:28:21,301 --> 00:28:24,611
Ah, yes, I can't wait
to hear about them.
488
00:28:29,420 --> 00:28:31,376
You see? All guards removed.
489
00:28:31,460 --> 00:28:33,566
I'll leave you now.
But remember, I
490
00:28:33,567 --> 00:28:35,613
know nothing of tonight's venture.
491
00:28:35,701 --> 00:28:38,818
One moment, my lord. I
would also like your word
492
00:28:38,901 --> 00:28:43,496
that if anything goes wrong, you
will not divulge our real intent.
493
00:28:43,580 --> 00:28:45,536
You have my hand on it.
494
00:28:45,620 --> 00:28:48,453
And may good fortune
attend on you.
495
00:28:51,420 --> 00:28:55,095
Henry Tudor, I do not wish to
hear about your past wives.
496
00:28:55,180 --> 00:28:58,331
Come now, you're only saying
that to make me feel better.
497
00:28:58,420 --> 00:29:00,731
But it wouldn't be right
to start our married
498
00:29:00,732 --> 00:29:02,891
life without you knowing
about the others.
499
00:29:02,980 --> 00:29:06,130
- Now, where was I?
- Number two.
500
00:29:14,380 --> 00:29:17,014
Now, let's see. That
brings us to number four.
501
00:29:17,015 --> 00:29:18,015
That's enough.
502
00:29:18,019 --> 00:29:19,669
Henry, are you going
to behave like
503
00:29:19,670 --> 00:29:21,090
a proper husband to me or not?
504
00:29:21,178 --> 00:29:22,527
Yes, of course, dear...
505
00:29:22,528 --> 00:29:25,171
Well, then, you can save
all that till later.
506
00:29:25,258 --> 00:29:27,214
Sire.
507
00:29:27,298 --> 00:29:30,813
I call upon you to surrender
without a struggle.
508
00:29:30,898 --> 00:29:33,537
That's what I've been trying
to get him to do all night.
509
00:29:33,618 --> 00:29:35,156
What treason is this? It's a plot
510
00:29:35,157 --> 00:29:36,974
against me. I'm about
to be abducted.
511
00:29:37,058 --> 00:29:38,058
How do you know?
512
00:29:38,059 --> 00:29:40,049
It's obvious. They
didn't come to watch.
513
00:29:40,137 --> 00:29:42,173
We mean you no harm, madam.
514
00:29:42,257 --> 00:29:44,213
All we want is the King's person.
515
00:29:44,297 --> 00:29:47,095
There you are. What
did I tell you?
516
00:29:48,657 --> 00:29:51,377
Oh, Hampton, Hampton.
Put that thing away.
517
00:29:51,458 --> 00:29:54,688
How could you do this? To tear
me from the arms of my beloved
518
00:29:54,777 --> 00:29:57,530
at the very moment we're about
to consummate our union.
519
00:29:57,617 --> 00:29:59,175
Oh, well, er...
520
00:30:00,217 --> 00:30:02,048
we could come back
later, of course.
521
00:30:02,137 --> 00:30:05,048
Don't be stupid. No, no, if
it must be thus, thus be it.
522
00:30:05,136 --> 00:30:06,808
May I know what is
to become of me?
523
00:30:06,896 --> 00:30:09,570
You will be taken to a secret
place and held prisoner.
524
00:30:09,657 --> 00:30:12,933
Oh, how terrible. Will I never
see my dear wife again?
525
00:30:13,017 --> 00:30:14,973
Go on, you're doing very well.
526
00:30:15,057 --> 00:30:18,765
There you will be required to sign
a confession of your wrongdoings.
527
00:30:18,856 --> 00:30:21,575
Alas, I cannot help that. I was
born with the wrong doings.
528
00:30:21,656 --> 00:30:24,011
That done, then you will be done,
529
00:30:24,096 --> 00:30:26,736
to death, as painfully
as you have done others.
530
00:30:26,817 --> 00:30:28,852
- All right, don't overdo it.
- Seize him.
531
00:30:28,936 --> 00:30:31,496
Not too rough... Ah,
so this is the end.
532
00:30:31,576 --> 00:30:34,773
Farewell, dear wife. It would seem
we are fated never to be one.
533
00:30:34,856 --> 00:30:37,051
You're going to let them
take you without a fight?
534
00:30:37,136 --> 00:30:39,696
- Alas, I can do nothing else.
- Well, I can.
535
00:30:41,935 --> 00:30:43,891
No, no.
536
00:30:55,695 --> 00:30:57,651
And don't come back.
537
00:31:07,655 --> 00:31:09,611
They've gone. You can...
538
00:31:09,695 --> 00:31:11,651
Henry?
539
00:31:11,735 --> 00:31:13,691
Henry...
540
00:31:15,495 --> 00:31:17,450
Hen...
541
00:31:17,534 --> 00:31:19,490
Henry, where are you?
542
00:31:22,855 --> 00:31:24,811
Ah, the wretch.
543
00:31:24,895 --> 00:31:27,648
Now, what am I going to do
for the rest of the night?
544
00:31:33,814 --> 00:31:36,851
On my life, Your Majesty, if that
isn't the best tunic I ever made,
545
00:31:36,934 --> 00:31:39,050
my name isn't Moshe Montmorency.
546
00:31:39,134 --> 00:31:41,728
- Yes, it's not bad.
- Not bad?
547
00:31:41,814 --> 00:31:43,964
Never mind the quality,
feel the cloth.
548
00:31:44,054 --> 00:31:47,490
- We've had worse. What is it?
- This is the finest goats' hair.
549
00:31:47,574 --> 00:31:49,514
I thought it had a familiar smell.
550
00:31:49,515 --> 00:31:51,453
Ah, Your Majesty. Look at the fit.
551
00:31:51,534 --> 00:31:54,093
The bustline and the
waistline, Your Majesty.
552
00:31:54,173 --> 00:31:57,009
Without a lie, the goat
it didn't fit as well.
553
00:31:57,010 --> 00:31:58,804
Yes, it's quite nice up here
554
00:31:58,894 --> 00:32:00,412
but the skirt's on the long side.
555
00:32:00,413 --> 00:32:01,413
Skirt? Long?
556
00:32:01,414 --> 00:32:03,291
We're proud of our royal
legs. We like the
557
00:32:03,292 --> 00:32:05,649
ladies of the court to
marvel at their length.
558
00:32:05,733 --> 00:32:07,841
I make the skirt any
higher and they won't
559
00:32:07,842 --> 00:32:09,851
be marvelling at the
length of the legs.
560
00:32:09,933 --> 00:32:12,367
That reminds me. I need a
bit more length on my hose.
561
00:32:12,453 --> 00:32:14,284
Your Majesty is much too modest.
562
00:32:28,612 --> 00:32:32,161
His Excellency, the
emissary of the Vatican,
563
00:32:32,252 --> 00:32:35,290
- Conte Filippo di Pisa.
- You are welcome, Conte.
564
00:32:36,533 --> 00:32:38,444
Please be seated, Conte.
565
00:32:38,533 --> 00:32:41,071
You have come on the
matter of the application
566
00:32:41,072 --> 00:32:43,447
for an annulment of His
Majesty's marriage?
567
00:32:43,532 --> 00:32:45,807
- I have, my lord.
- I'd hoped as much.
568
00:32:45,892 --> 00:32:48,565
And your master has given
permission for it?
569
00:32:48,652 --> 00:32:50,608
He has requested me to say
570
00:32:50,692 --> 00:32:54,605
that he is most morally shocked
and righteously outraged
571
00:32:54,692 --> 00:32:56,410
- by this request.
- Oh, dear.
572
00:32:56,492 --> 00:32:59,643
But under certain conditions,
573
00:32:59,732 --> 00:33:02,371
he might be prevailed upon
574
00:33:02,452 --> 00:33:06,967
to overlook his deep-seated
and inviolate sense of duty.
575
00:33:07,051 --> 00:33:08,928
All right. How much this time?
576
00:33:09,011 --> 00:33:11,571
5,000 pieces of gold.
577
00:33:11,652 --> 00:33:14,564
5,000. Come off it,
that's double last time.
578
00:33:14,652 --> 00:33:16,688
He is doubly shocked this time.
579
00:33:16,771 --> 00:33:19,008
5,000. And how much
have you added on
580
00:33:19,009 --> 00:33:21,128
for your own pocket,
my dear Conte?
581
00:33:21,211 --> 00:33:24,169
My lord, I must protest
most strongly.
582
00:33:24,251 --> 00:33:27,165
I'm sorry, Conte. But as
a churchman, I cannot
583
00:33:27,166 --> 00:33:30,326
tolerate the thought of
corruption in high office.
584
00:33:30,411 --> 00:33:34,119
5,000 is the figure.
Take it or leave it.
585
00:33:34,210 --> 00:33:37,247
Very well. I shall go and
consult with the Chancellor.
586
00:33:41,929 --> 00:33:43,885
Well, Wolsey, the word is good?
587
00:33:43,969 --> 00:33:45,516
I think, if it's left to me, I can
588
00:33:45,517 --> 00:33:47,200
arrange the divorce
satisfactorily.
589
00:33:47,289 --> 00:33:49,042
- Excellent.
- There's just one thing.
590
00:33:49,130 --> 00:33:52,202
To do so, you'll have to let
me have 10,000 pieces of gold.
591
00:33:52,290 --> 00:33:54,041
10,000?
592
00:33:54,129 --> 00:33:56,085
It was only five last time.
593
00:33:56,169 --> 00:33:59,002
Well, you know how it is.
Inflation, rising prices.
594
00:33:59,089 --> 00:34:01,891
Indeed. The ever rising
cost-of-loving index.
595
00:34:01,892 --> 00:34:04,083
The sooner the better, of course.
596
00:34:04,169 --> 00:34:06,258
Just a moment, my
dear Cardinal. Can I
597
00:34:06,259 --> 00:34:08,401
be assured this 10,000
is all for Rome?
598
00:34:08,489 --> 00:34:10,445
Are you suggesting that I...
599
00:34:10,529 --> 00:34:14,681
How dare you. You know well
that I'm an honourable man.
600
00:34:14,769 --> 00:34:17,282
My dear Wolsey, I learned long ago
601
00:34:17,368 --> 00:34:20,008
there is only one man
in all England who
602
00:34:20,009 --> 00:34:22,647
can be completely
trusted and that's me.
603
00:34:22,728 --> 00:34:25,051
Well, I protest strongly
at the implication
604
00:34:25,052 --> 00:34:26,688
that I would... Oh, never, oh.
605
00:34:26,769 --> 00:34:28,725
Oh, all right, all right.
606
00:34:28,809 --> 00:34:32,278
You'll get your 10,000. I'll go
and see the King straight away.
607
00:34:36,928 --> 00:34:38,964
Pardon the intrusion,
Your Majesty.
608
00:34:39,048 --> 00:34:42,403
But I thought you would like to
know I have had word from Rome.
609
00:34:42,487 --> 00:34:43,841
The divorce, it's on?
610
00:34:43,928 --> 00:34:48,206
I am confident, sire, that left
in my hands, I can get approval.
611
00:34:48,288 --> 00:34:49,366
Marvellous.
612
00:34:49,367 --> 00:34:52,600
Of course, it will entail
a certain expenditure.
613
00:34:52,688 --> 00:34:54,678
- How much?
- If you could let me have 20,000?
614
00:34:54,767 --> 00:34:55,767
20,000.
615
00:34:55,768 --> 00:34:58,203
Well, rather more
than usual, I know.
616
00:34:58,287 --> 00:35:00,357
But little enough if you have it.
617
00:35:00,447 --> 00:35:02,723
That's just the point.
I haven't had it.
618
00:35:02,808 --> 00:35:04,799
The money, I mean.
619
00:35:04,888 --> 00:35:07,333
I shouldn't have to
tell you that, speaking
620
00:35:07,334 --> 00:35:09,278
royally, my mint has a hole in it.
621
00:35:09,367 --> 00:35:11,801
Beautiful, beautiful.
Fit for a king.
622
00:35:11,887 --> 00:35:14,765
20,000. What love pleasure
could be worth that much?
623
00:35:14,847 --> 00:35:17,565
You should try it walking round
the room a bit, Your Majesty.
624
00:35:17,646 --> 00:35:19,602
- Don't be filthy.
- The coat.
625
00:35:19,686 --> 00:35:22,247
Of course we could raise
a bit more by taxation.
626
00:35:22,327 --> 00:35:25,797
Taxation? Everything's taxed to
the hilt as it is. Even swords.
627
00:35:25,887 --> 00:35:27,875
Swords taxed to the
hilt. Very good.
628
00:35:27,876 --> 00:35:28,876
Oh, shut up.
629
00:35:28,877 --> 00:35:32,036
I've been thinking. There is one
thing you haven't touched yet.
630
00:35:32,126 --> 00:35:33,400
We're back to the wife again.
631
00:35:33,486 --> 00:35:37,320
No, a brand-new form of
taxation I've just thought up.
632
00:35:37,406 --> 00:35:39,125
S.E.T.
633
00:35:39,207 --> 00:35:40,276
S.E. T?
634
00:35:40,367 --> 00:35:43,722
Sex Enjoyment Tax.
635
00:35:43,806 --> 00:35:45,956
Sex Enjoyment Tax?
636
00:35:46,046 --> 00:35:49,038
Exactly, Your Majesty.
Like drinking or smoking.
637
00:35:49,126 --> 00:35:51,515
Every time they have one...
638
00:35:51,606 --> 00:35:53,713
Yes, that could bring
in quite a bit. Might
639
00:35:53,714 --> 00:35:55,484
be a bit difficult
to apply, though.
640
00:35:55,565 --> 00:35:58,876
Oh, I don't think so. No man
wants to be thought lacking.
641
00:35:58,966 --> 00:36:02,879
We give them a form and they
submit some sort of weekly return.
642
00:36:02,966 --> 00:36:04,922
Do you think they'd stand for it?
643
00:36:05,006 --> 00:36:06,741
Stand for it, sit for it, lie down
644
00:36:06,742 --> 00:36:08,680
for it. As long as
we get the money.
645
00:36:12,245 --> 00:36:15,237
Halt, madam. State your
business with my Lord Cromwell.
646
00:36:15,325 --> 00:36:17,282
Oh, get out of my way.
647
00:36:21,885 --> 00:36:24,683
I trust I am not disturbing
you, my Lord Chancellor?
648
00:36:24,765 --> 00:36:26,721
No, no, Your Majesty.
649
00:36:26,805 --> 00:36:30,240
I was just checking the weekly
yield on my new Sex Enjoyment Tax.
650
00:36:30,324 --> 00:36:32,280
A satisfactory one, I hope?
651
00:36:32,364 --> 00:36:34,321
Not bad, not bad.
652
00:36:34,405 --> 00:36:36,354
The takings are down
since we started
653
00:36:36,355 --> 00:36:37,841
the on, the-spot collections.
654
00:36:37,925 --> 00:36:41,712
But then this business is bound
to have its ups and downs.
655
00:36:41,804 --> 00:36:43,920
Yes, though precious
few come my way.
656
00:36:44,004 --> 00:36:46,098
My lord, I will come direct to
657
00:36:46,099 --> 00:36:48,680
business. I demand
to see the King.
658
00:36:48,764 --> 00:36:50,983
I'm afraid that's quite
impossible today,
659
00:36:50,984 --> 00:36:53,202
madam. He's busy in
his privy... council.
660
00:36:53,285 --> 00:36:55,354
I will not be put off any longer.
661
00:36:55,444 --> 00:36:57,732
Do you realise it is
three months since
662
00:36:57,733 --> 00:36:59,676
our marriage and he still hasn't?
663
00:36:59,764 --> 00:37:02,232
- Hasn't what?
- Still hasn't.
664
00:37:02,324 --> 00:37:04,276
Oh, yes, I quite
understand of course.
665
00:37:04,277 --> 00:37:06,077
But you must not
be unduly alarmed.
666
00:37:06,163 --> 00:37:08,119
These things take time.
667
00:37:08,203 --> 00:37:11,082
My lord, I may seem
a simple person,
668
00:37:11,164 --> 00:37:14,236
but could you, as a man, keep
your bride waiting so long?
669
00:37:14,324 --> 00:37:16,201
I am not married, madam.
670
00:37:16,284 --> 00:37:19,639
No, but you are a man. I have
been aware of that fact.
671
00:37:19,723 --> 00:37:21,679
Please, madam.
672
00:37:21,763 --> 00:37:23,694
Oh, come, my lord.
Do you choose to
673
00:37:23,695 --> 00:37:25,517
forget that day at Hampton Court?
674
00:37:25,603 --> 00:37:26,603
Hampton?
675
00:37:26,604 --> 00:37:28,595
When you rescued me from the maze.
676
00:37:28,683 --> 00:37:30,915
Oh, when you couldn't
find your way out.
677
00:37:30,916 --> 00:37:32,835
And you couldn't find your way in.
678
00:37:32,923 --> 00:37:35,960
Yes, well, I hadn't done
it before, you see.
679
00:37:36,043 --> 00:37:38,511
Just think. We might
have been there yet
680
00:37:38,603 --> 00:37:40,569
had you not had the
presence of mind
681
00:37:40,570 --> 00:37:42,481
to lay a thread to
follow back out.
682
00:37:42,562 --> 00:37:44,518
Yes, good old Fred.
683
00:37:44,602 --> 00:37:48,151
Would you not like to try it
again, Thomas? Without Fred?
684
00:37:48,242 --> 00:37:49,887
Madam, I beg of you, please forget
685
00:37:49,888 --> 00:37:51,678
that afternoon. I
got carried away.
686
00:37:51,762 --> 00:37:53,932
Thousands of men have
been carried away
687
00:37:53,933 --> 00:37:55,993
after only one hour
with me, my lord.
688
00:37:56,081 --> 00:37:58,549
- Yes, but not feet first.
- Oh, Thomas.
689
00:37:58,641 --> 00:38:02,350
Tom. Take me in your
arms and kiss me.
690
00:38:02,441 --> 00:38:03,760
No, no, wait, wait.
691
00:38:03,841 --> 00:38:05,656
Your Majesty, someone
might come in.
692
00:38:05,657 --> 00:38:06,657
I don't care.
693
00:38:06,658 --> 00:38:08,437
Oh, Thomas. Tom.
694
00:38:08,521 --> 00:38:11,957
You don't know how
unsatisfying my life is.
695
00:38:12,041 --> 00:38:15,378
I feel like a... a
bottle of good wine that
696
00:38:15,379 --> 00:38:18,639
has been left to waste
after only one sip.
697
00:38:18,720 --> 00:38:21,154
Well, for heaven's sake,
put the cork back in.
698
00:38:21,240 --> 00:38:23,390
Oh, you are a hard
man, Thomas Cromwell.
699
00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:25,631
What you're asking of
me, madam, is wrong.
700
00:38:25,721 --> 00:38:27,677
I am the King's
friend. He trusts me.
701
00:38:27,761 --> 00:38:30,036
And I am proud of that trust.
702
00:38:30,121 --> 00:38:31,348
Ah...
703
00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:34,273
But what if there were no king?
704
00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:36,316
What do you mean?
705
00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:40,951
If some accident were to
befall him, what then?
706
00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:44,396
Well, then, as Queen, obviously
you will reign in his stead.
707
00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:46,232
Precisely.
708
00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:48,515
And you in his bedstead.
709
00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:52,070
What? What are you
suggesting, madam?
710
00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:55,515
That I, the King's most
loyal and devoted servant,
711
00:38:55,599 --> 00:38:58,159
should actually plot
to... should stoop to...
712
00:38:58,239 --> 00:39:00,275
What kind of accident
had you in mind?
713
00:39:00,359 --> 00:39:02,316
Ah, no, Thomas.
714
00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:04,356
Before I divulge that,
715
00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:08,148
I must first have pledge of
your goodwill in the matter.
716
00:39:08,239 --> 00:39:10,309
Well, what kind of
pledge could I give?
717
00:39:10,399 --> 00:39:14,028
Just a taste of that
good wine I spoke of.
718
00:39:14,119 --> 00:39:17,316
Well, I don't usually drink
before six o'clock...
719
00:39:17,399 --> 00:39:19,354
Whoar.
720
00:39:21,799 --> 00:39:24,233
Cromwell, I've just
been thinking that...
721
00:39:25,839 --> 00:39:28,478
What goes on here?
722
00:39:30,199 --> 00:39:32,988
Nothing, sire. Nothing.
I was conversing with
723
00:39:32,989 --> 00:39:35,716
the Queen when suddenly
she came over faint.
724
00:39:35,798 --> 00:39:38,552
Her emotions overflowed. I
just corked her in time...
725
00:39:38,639 --> 00:39:40,595
I just caught her in time.
726
00:39:40,679 --> 00:39:42,658
Faint? Why should she feel faint?
727
00:39:42,659 --> 00:39:44,307
Lack of fresh air, perhaps.
728
00:39:44,398 --> 00:39:46,474
True, she hasn't been
getting any lately.
729
00:39:46,475 --> 00:39:47,475
And that, too.
730
00:39:47,476 --> 00:39:50,509
Well, do something. She's
making the place look untidy.
731
00:39:51,558 --> 00:39:53,674
Madam, madam, you
can come round now.
732
00:39:53,758 --> 00:39:55,873
Madam, it's all
right now. Madam...
733
00:39:55,957 --> 00:39:57,914
Good heavens.
734
00:39:57,998 --> 00:39:58,998
What is it?
735
00:39:58,999 --> 00:40:01,274
She really has fainted.
She's unconscious.
736
00:40:01,358 --> 00:40:03,997
Is she? Well, go on, then,
get the court physician.
737
00:40:04,078 --> 00:40:06,387
Doctor Finlay. Doctor Finlay.
738
00:40:06,478 --> 00:40:08,991
Och, something
terrible's happened...
739
00:40:13,957 --> 00:40:16,791
The physician has nearly
finished, Your Grace.
740
00:40:16,878 --> 00:40:18,438
He's taking his time, isn't he?
741
00:40:18,439 --> 00:40:20,187
There is rather a lot to examine.
742
00:40:20,277 --> 00:40:22,937
Doesn't it make you sick?
Just when I'd decided
743
00:40:22,938 --> 00:40:25,431
to cancel the divorce
and have her head off.
744
00:40:25,517 --> 00:40:27,754
Please, sire, you must
not excite yourself.
745
00:40:27,755 --> 00:40:29,635
You know it affects
your metabolism.
746
00:40:29,717 --> 00:40:32,385
And brings the poison
to the surface and then
747
00:40:32,386 --> 00:40:35,110
you break out in these
poisonous excrescences.
748
00:40:35,197 --> 00:40:37,427
- Boils.
- I know what I'm talking about.
749
00:40:37,517 --> 00:40:39,473
I only said boils.
750
00:40:39,557 --> 00:40:42,276
Oh, boils. Oh, yes.
751
00:40:42,357 --> 00:40:43,709
Well, what's happening?
752
00:40:43,796 --> 00:40:47,550
Your Majesty, I'm happy to report
that I have bled Her Majesty.
753
00:40:47,636 --> 00:40:48,954
Bled her? All this time?
754
00:40:48,955 --> 00:40:51,185
Well, it did take a
bit of time, I know.
755
00:40:51,276 --> 00:40:53,950
But one of my leeches
is an absolute hog.
756
00:40:54,037 --> 00:40:56,504
I am not interested in
your bleeding leeches.
757
00:40:56,596 --> 00:40:58,712
- What about the Queen?
- No trouble there.
758
00:40:58,796 --> 00:41:01,594
It often happens to a
woman in her condition.
759
00:41:01,676 --> 00:41:03,711
Condition? What condition?
760
00:41:03,712 --> 00:41:06,909
Why, Her Majesty's
going to have a baby.
761
00:41:08,995 --> 00:41:11,874
You hear that, everyone? I'm
going to have an issue.
762
00:41:11,956 --> 00:41:13,309
Congratulations.
763
00:41:13,396 --> 00:41:15,352
Congratulations, sire.
764
00:41:15,436 --> 00:41:17,427
Congratulations.
765
00:41:17,516 --> 00:41:20,411
Thank you. Do you
think it'll be a boy?
766
00:41:20,412 --> 00:41:22,066
Most assuredly, sire.
767
00:41:22,155 --> 00:41:24,385
At last, a son. A son and heir.
768
00:41:24,475 --> 00:41:28,184
I know I speak for all England
when I say well done, sire.
769
00:41:28,275 --> 00:41:30,232
We are proud of you.
770
00:41:30,316 --> 00:41:32,783
Thank you. Well, I didn't
really do anything.
771
00:41:34,755 --> 00:41:37,030
That's quite right. I
didn't do anything.
772
00:41:39,275 --> 00:41:42,187
Are you sure she's
going to have a baby?
773
00:41:42,275 --> 00:41:46,267
- How did that happen?
- Your Majesty does not know?
774
00:41:46,354 --> 00:41:47,618
No, I do not know.
775
00:41:47,619 --> 00:41:51,031
Well, let me see if I can
explain it quite simply.
776
00:41:51,115 --> 00:41:54,073
Let's take the birds and the bees.
777
00:41:54,155 --> 00:41:56,331
I do not want a sex
lecture. I know
778
00:41:56,332 --> 00:41:58,386
how. It's who that's worrying me.
779
00:41:58,474 --> 00:42:01,385
Am I to understand
Your Majesty has not?
780
00:42:01,473 --> 00:42:03,304
Not as much as a nibble.
781
00:42:03,393 --> 00:42:07,511
If I may suggest, Your Grace, no
one outside this room knows that
782
00:42:07,593 --> 00:42:10,232
and I know we can be
trusted to keep silent.
783
00:42:10,313 --> 00:42:12,269
But she's mucked it all up.
784
00:42:12,353 --> 00:42:15,902
How can I get a divorce now on the
grounds of non, consummation?
785
00:42:15,993 --> 00:42:18,266
On the contrary, sire. I think the
786
00:42:18,267 --> 00:42:20,941
Queen has played right
into our hands.
787
00:42:21,032 --> 00:42:23,785
She's played in someone's
hands, that's for sure.
788
00:42:23,872 --> 00:42:27,024
If I might have a word with
Your Majesty confidentially?
789
00:42:28,633 --> 00:42:31,829
If we can obtain definite
proof of unfaithfulness,
790
00:42:31,912 --> 00:42:35,188
the divorce will be automatic and
it will not cost you a penny.
791
00:42:35,272 --> 00:42:38,418
That's right. But where
do we get the proof?
792
00:42:38,419 --> 00:42:41,029
A confession from
the man concerned.
793
00:42:41,112 --> 00:42:43,069
- Which man?
- Any man.
794
00:42:43,153 --> 00:42:45,076
Preferably one who's been most
795
00:42:45,077 --> 00:42:47,703
constantly in the
company of the Queen.
796
00:42:47,792 --> 00:42:51,580
Yes, someone who's had the
job of keeping her amused.
797
00:42:53,032 --> 00:42:56,341
Well, sir Roger, have you
been dallying with the Queen?
798
00:42:56,431 --> 00:42:58,308
Certainly not, sire.
799
00:42:58,391 --> 00:43:01,111
- Your hand on it?
- Not even a finger on it.
800
00:43:01,192 --> 00:43:03,304
Come, come, sir Roger,
it will be less
801
00:43:03,305 --> 00:43:05,470
painful for you if
you were to confess.
802
00:43:05,552 --> 00:43:06,552
Never.
803
00:43:06,553 --> 00:43:10,310
In the Tower, we have ways of
forcing a confession, you know.
804
00:43:10,391 --> 00:43:11,949
You won't get a thing out of me.
805
00:43:11,950 --> 00:43:13,781
I'll wager those
were the very words
806
00:43:13,871 --> 00:43:15,589
the Queen used to you.
807
00:43:15,671 --> 00:43:18,743
Oh, no, as a matter of fact,
she was ready and waiting...
808
00:43:18,831 --> 00:43:21,140
Ha, ha, ha.
809
00:43:24,631 --> 00:43:27,907
My Lord Cardinal, will you show
the Queen to her apartment?
810
00:43:27,991 --> 00:43:29,559
Gladly. This way, Your Majesty.
811
00:43:29,560 --> 00:43:31,506
Wait. What is to
happen to, sir Roger?
812
00:43:31,591 --> 00:43:33,546
Nothing, if he signs
a simple confession.
813
00:43:33,630 --> 00:43:34,870
And if he doesn't?
814
00:43:34,871 --> 00:43:37,909
He will. We have gadgets
like the thumbscrew.
815
00:43:37,991 --> 00:43:41,506
Fear not, madam. I can stand
any amount of screwing.
816
00:43:41,591 --> 00:43:43,229
Well spoken, sir Roger.
817
00:43:43,311 --> 00:43:45,904
I will not confess.
And that's flat.
818
00:43:45,990 --> 00:43:49,187
Methinks you'll change your mind,
Sir Roger, when it is flat.
819
00:43:49,270 --> 00:43:51,022
Take him directly below.
820
00:43:51,110 --> 00:43:53,029
Thomas Cromwell, you
are a cruel man.
821
00:43:53,030 --> 00:43:54,030
Me? Cruel, madam?
822
00:43:54,070 --> 00:43:56,504
Why, I'm known as
Cromwell the Considerate.
823
00:43:56,590 --> 00:43:57,943
Considerate? You?
824
00:43:58,030 --> 00:43:59,777
What about all those
poor martyrs you
825
00:43:59,778 --> 00:44:01,386
had burned at the stake last week?
826
00:44:01,470 --> 00:44:03,426
- What about them?
- Call that considerate?
827
00:44:03,510 --> 00:44:06,186
Well, of course. Didn't
I go round every one
828
00:44:06,187 --> 00:44:08,981
of them and say, "How do
you like your stake?"
829
00:44:09,069 --> 00:44:11,025
That's right. He did, you know.
830
00:44:18,910 --> 00:44:22,424
So, this is to be my home
for the rest of my days?
831
00:44:22,509 --> 00:44:24,864
And what, pray, is this place?
832
00:44:24,949 --> 00:44:27,702
- The Bloody Tower.
- There's no need to be common.
833
00:44:27,789 --> 00:44:30,019
No, no, that's what
they call it, my lady.
834
00:44:30,109 --> 00:44:32,383
And this is the best
you can provide for...
835
00:44:32,468 --> 00:44:35,427
a Queen of England and cousin
of the King of France?
836
00:44:35,509 --> 00:44:38,865
Oh, it's one of the pleasantest
rooms in the Tower, my lady.
837
00:44:38,949 --> 00:44:41,304
There's a lovely view
from the window.
838
00:44:42,869 --> 00:44:45,302
On a foggy day.
839
00:44:45,388 --> 00:44:48,346
Oh, Wolsey. What is
to become of me?
840
00:44:48,428 --> 00:44:52,138
Will I ever look up to see the
clear blue of the sky again?
841
00:44:52,229 --> 00:44:54,340
Will I ever again feel the blessed
842
00:44:54,341 --> 00:44:56,699
warmth of the sun
on my tender skin?
843
00:44:56,788 --> 00:44:59,427
I really couldn't say. The
weather report isn't good.
844
00:44:59,508 --> 00:45:02,261
Nay, my lord, do not try
and spare my feelings.
845
00:45:02,348 --> 00:45:06,102
You know well that as soon as
Henry has his signed confession,
846
00:45:06,188 --> 00:45:09,658
it will be my head on
the block and phut.
847
00:45:09,748 --> 00:45:11,704
No.
848
00:45:11,788 --> 00:45:13,801
No, don't speak of
it, madam. Please,
849
00:45:13,802 --> 00:45:15,337
I can't bear to think of it.
850
00:45:15,428 --> 00:45:18,943
Your lovely head for
that filthy old basket.
851
00:45:19,028 --> 00:45:21,587
Nay, my lord, you must not
speak of the King thus.
852
00:45:21,667 --> 00:45:24,181
No. Oh, no, no.
853
00:45:24,267 --> 00:45:26,906
I meant the basket into
which your head will fall.
854
00:45:26,987 --> 00:45:29,456
Oh, that filthy old basket, yes.
855
00:45:29,548 --> 00:45:31,347
This might have all
been avoided if
856
00:45:31,348 --> 00:45:33,096
only you had renounced the garlic.
857
00:45:33,187 --> 00:45:36,384
Dear Wolsey, you have always
loved me, haven't you?
858
00:45:36,467 --> 00:45:39,823
- Devotedly, madam.
- Enough to do me a service?
859
00:45:39,907 --> 00:45:42,030
Oh, certainly. What
would you like?
860
00:45:42,031 --> 00:45:43,741
A matins or a quick vespers?
861
00:45:43,827 --> 00:45:45,782
Not that sort of service, my lord.
862
00:45:45,866 --> 00:45:47,378
I would simply have you deliver a
863
00:45:47,379 --> 00:45:49,257
letter for me to the
French ambassador.
864
00:45:49,347 --> 00:45:51,065
I wouldn't dare do that.
865
00:45:51,147 --> 00:45:54,378
I must appraise him of what has
happened. It is my only hope.
866
00:45:54,467 --> 00:45:56,720
They're so strict on
security here. Even I'm
867
00:45:56,721 --> 00:45:58,823
searched from top to
bottom when I leave.
868
00:45:58,906 --> 00:46:01,579
- Top to bottom?
- Well, almost.
869
00:46:01,666 --> 00:46:04,912
There is in fact only
one place I could put
870
00:46:04,913 --> 00:46:07,936
a letter where it might
avoid detection.
871
00:46:08,027 --> 00:46:11,382
And you could not bring
yourself to do that for me?
872
00:46:11,466 --> 00:46:14,264
Yes. Yes, I will, I will.
873
00:46:14,346 --> 00:46:16,301
Oh, thank you, my lord.
874
00:46:16,385 --> 00:46:18,341
Here is the letter.
875
00:46:24,025 --> 00:46:25,981
Ah, my dear, sir Roger.
876
00:46:26,065 --> 00:46:29,262
I believe you know what
this little toy is called?
877
00:46:29,345 --> 00:46:31,301
- The rack.
- Precisely.
878
00:46:31,385 --> 00:46:35,172
An ingenious invention. We simply
tie you to it, hand and foot,
879
00:46:35,264 --> 00:46:39,337
and then each day, a turn
on the wheel at both ends.
880
00:46:39,424 --> 00:46:43,623
Yes, I know. What criminals
call "going for a stretch".
881
00:46:43,705 --> 00:46:45,517
Exactly. Would you care to try it?
882
00:46:45,518 --> 00:46:46,741
Have I an alternative?
883
00:46:46,824 --> 00:46:49,782
- Oh, yes. Just sign this.
- Without even reading it?
884
00:46:49,864 --> 00:46:53,095
I'll read it to you. It's just
a simple little confession.
885
00:46:53,184 --> 00:46:54,569
"In as much as I, Roger de
886
00:46:54,570 --> 00:46:56,540
Lodgerley, of Bedside
Manor, Wilts,
887
00:46:56,624 --> 00:46:58,898
referred to as the party
of the first part,
888
00:46:58,983 --> 00:47:01,027
did unlawfully, with
malice aforethought
889
00:47:01,028 --> 00:47:02,772
and without taking due precaution,
890
00:47:02,864 --> 00:47:06,743
admire, covet, blandish, cosset,
seduce and otherwise get at Marie,
891
00:47:06,824 --> 00:47:10,498
spouse to Henry Tudor, referred to
as the party of the second part.
892
00:47:10,583 --> 00:47:12,733
I do hereby solemnly
declare, any witness
893
00:47:12,734 --> 00:47:14,781
thereof I append to
my signature below,
894
00:47:14,863 --> 00:47:17,002
that the resulting
issue, herein after
895
00:47:17,003 --> 00:47:19,415
referred to as the party
of the third part,
896
00:47:19,504 --> 00:47:21,733
is the consequence of
the joining together
897
00:47:21,823 --> 00:47:23,667
of the party of the
first part's and
898
00:47:23,668 --> 00:47:25,611
the party of the
second part's parts."
899
00:47:25,703 --> 00:47:27,853
As you said, very simple.
900
00:47:27,943 --> 00:47:30,582
- You'll sign, then?
- Not on your Bonaparte.
901
00:47:30,663 --> 00:47:33,222
Very well, then. Carry on.
902
00:47:42,863 --> 00:47:45,092
His Excellency, the
French ambassador.
903
00:47:46,302 --> 00:47:48,258
Your Majesty.
904
00:47:48,342 --> 00:47:50,298
My dear Duc de Poncenay.
905
00:47:50,382 --> 00:47:53,135
I trust I do not intrude
upon Your Majesty's time?
906
00:47:53,222 --> 00:47:55,777
Not at all. We're
happy to receive you.
907
00:47:55,778 --> 00:47:57,420
A thousand thanks, sire.
908
00:47:57,502 --> 00:47:59,449
You're welcome. Cup of tea?
909
00:47:59,450 --> 00:48:02,940
Mais non, sire. I have but
lately had elevenses.
910
00:48:03,022 --> 00:48:05,217
Excellent. And what
brings you to our court?
911
00:48:05,302 --> 00:48:08,260
I am instructed by His
Majesty, King Francis,
912
00:48:08,342 --> 00:48:12,095
to offer his most
profound congratulations.
913
00:48:12,181 --> 00:48:14,138
Yes? What on?
914
00:48:14,222 --> 00:48:16,178
Why, that your union
with his cousin,
915
00:48:16,179 --> 00:48:18,340
Queen Marie, is to be
blessed with issue.
916
00:48:20,262 --> 00:48:22,252
And how did he know that?
917
00:48:22,341 --> 00:48:25,060
Good news travels
fast, Your Majesty.
918
00:48:25,141 --> 00:48:27,575
This is not exactly good
news. I'm not really...
919
00:48:27,661 --> 00:48:29,840
King Francis was so
overjoyed that he
920
00:48:29,841 --> 00:48:32,133
proposed, on the
occasion of the birth,
921
00:48:32,222 --> 00:48:35,269
to give you a
personal presentation
922
00:48:35,270 --> 00:48:37,215
of 50,000 gold crowns.
923
00:48:37,301 --> 00:48:39,257
I dare say, but the point is...
924
00:48:39,341 --> 00:48:40,774
50,000?
925
00:48:40,861 --> 00:48:42,499
Gold crowns.
926
00:48:42,581 --> 00:48:44,824
But Your Majesty was
going to say something?
927
00:48:44,825 --> 00:48:45,825
No, no, nothing.
928
00:48:45,826 --> 00:48:47,894
Bon. And now perhaps
I may convey our
929
00:48:47,895 --> 00:48:49,859
congratulations to
your good Queen?
930
00:48:49,940 --> 00:48:52,899
Yes, well, er, she's not here
at the moment. She's away.
931
00:48:52,981 --> 00:48:55,828
Oh la la. King Francis
did so desire an early
932
00:48:55,829 --> 00:48:58,737
confirmation of her good
health and happiness.
933
00:48:58,820 --> 00:49:00,615
I tell you what, you
join us for dinner
934
00:49:00,616 --> 00:49:02,096
tonight. She'll be back by then.
935
00:49:03,180 --> 00:49:05,694
That will be most
delightful, Your Majesty.
936
00:49:05,780 --> 00:49:08,340
Your servant, sire.
937
00:49:08,420 --> 00:49:09,569
And yours.
938
00:49:12,580 --> 00:49:15,617
Don't just stand there. Get
to the Tower and fetch her.
939
00:49:18,220 --> 00:49:20,495
He's given in, m'lord.
He's ready to sign.
940
00:49:20,580 --> 00:49:22,695
At last. Bring him
in. Bring him in.
941
00:49:31,900 --> 00:49:34,171
My... My dear, sir Roger,
I'm very glad you
942
00:49:34,172 --> 00:49:36,654
decided to give in before
things went too far.
943
00:49:51,379 --> 00:49:53,335
There we are, my love.
944
00:49:53,419 --> 00:49:56,035
Take it easy. That's it.
We don't want anything
945
00:49:56,036 --> 00:49:58,651
to happen to our precious
little bundle, do we?
946
00:50:04,179 --> 00:50:07,808
Your Majesty, your cousin King
Francis wishes me to convey to you
947
00:50:07,899 --> 00:50:10,173
his most joyous felicitations.
948
00:50:10,258 --> 00:50:13,011
What on? Being confined
in the Tower of London?
949
00:50:13,098 --> 00:50:14,736
What?
950
00:50:14,818 --> 00:50:17,696
Er, now, dear, don't get
excited. Think of the baby.
951
00:50:17,778 --> 00:50:19,428
Pay no attention. They always act
952
00:50:19,429 --> 00:50:21,327
funny when they're
in the issue way.
953
00:50:21,418 --> 00:50:23,477
True, but I did not
understand. What is
954
00:50:23,478 --> 00:50:25,536
this about being
confined in the Tower?
955
00:50:25,618 --> 00:50:27,812
Oh, that's just an old
English tradition.
956
00:50:27,813 --> 00:50:29,849
Queens always have
their babies there.
957
00:50:29,937 --> 00:50:33,054
True, but I think you meant
confined, locked up.
958
00:50:33,137 --> 00:50:36,287
No, no, confined, knocked
up. It's very different.
959
00:50:36,376 --> 00:50:38,970
Your quaint English customs.
960
00:50:39,056 --> 00:50:41,323
Yes, they are quaint...
Yes, well, let's
961
00:50:41,324 --> 00:50:43,812
drink to the successful
delivery of my baby.
962
00:50:43,897 --> 00:50:45,330
Your baby?
963
00:50:45,417 --> 00:50:47,372
- Naturally, who else's?
- You want a list?
964
00:50:48,136 --> 00:50:50,210
If you don't want
to go straight back
965
00:50:50,211 --> 00:50:52,175
to the Tower, shut
your drawbridge.
966
00:50:52,256 --> 00:50:54,571
Then if it is yours,
exactly what are you
967
00:50:54,572 --> 00:50:56,886
trying to make poor,
sir Roger confess to?
968
00:50:56,976 --> 00:50:59,854
Me? I'm not trying to make
him confess to anything.
969
00:51:02,736 --> 00:51:06,172
Your Majesty, I have it.
The signed confession.
970
00:51:06,256 --> 00:51:07,328
What confession?
971
00:51:07,329 --> 00:51:09,771
Sir Roger's confession
of fatherhood.
972
00:51:09,856 --> 00:51:12,369
He's a liar. I don't want
it. Get a retraction.
973
00:51:12,455 --> 00:51:15,208
A retraction? You must be mad.
974
00:51:15,295 --> 00:51:18,413
You know perfectly well that your
confession was a deliberate lie.
975
00:51:18,496 --> 00:51:19,496
What?
976
00:51:19,536 --> 00:51:21,975
All that nonsense about
the party of the first
977
00:51:21,976 --> 00:51:24,051
part. You never even
touched the Queen.
978
00:51:24,135 --> 00:51:26,649
I beg your jolly pardon,
but I most certainly did.
979
00:51:26,735 --> 00:51:29,807
Your affair with her was a
figment of your imagination.
980
00:51:29,895 --> 00:51:31,745
Oh, yes? Did you ever
hear of a figment
981
00:51:31,746 --> 00:51:33,410
that left teeth
marks in your neck?
982
00:51:33,495 --> 00:51:34,722
I don't wish to know that.
983
00:51:34,814 --> 00:51:36,771
What I want is a
signed retraction.
984
00:51:36,855 --> 00:51:41,610
A simple statement like "The Queen
and I are just good friends."
985
00:51:41,695 --> 00:51:45,005
Oh, no. I am incapable
of doing it.
986
00:51:45,095 --> 00:51:47,369
Oh, even better. Impotency, yes.
987
00:51:47,454 --> 00:51:50,810
No, no, no. I mean I could
never sign such a statement.
988
00:51:50,894 --> 00:51:55,446
My dear, sir Roger, you don't want
to go back on the rack, do you?
989
00:51:55,535 --> 00:51:56,541
Not particularly.
990
00:51:56,542 --> 00:51:58,606
Then do I get my
retraction or not?
991
00:51:58,694 --> 00:51:59,694
- Not.
- Not?
992
00:51:59,734 --> 00:52:01,406
- Not.
- Not?
993
00:52:01,494 --> 00:52:05,282
Why do I always get knotted?
Put him back on the rack.
994
00:52:05,374 --> 00:52:07,330
♪ Court music ♪
995
00:52:21,654 --> 00:52:24,292
You're a cunning old bastard.
996
00:52:24,373 --> 00:52:26,329
I made a mistake, my love.
997
00:52:28,373 --> 00:52:30,329
You're the only woman for me.
998
00:52:30,413 --> 00:52:33,884
I just can't wait to take
your loveliness into my arms.
999
00:52:34,933 --> 00:52:35,992
Every stone of it.
1000
00:52:35,993 --> 00:52:38,005
I'll believe that when it happens.
1001
00:52:38,093 --> 00:52:41,130
Wait till I get you upstairs.
I'll show you something.
1002
00:52:43,373 --> 00:52:45,329
Like you did the last time?
1003
00:52:46,732 --> 00:52:48,962
Playing all night
with your tiddlywink?
1004
00:52:55,533 --> 00:52:57,489
More music. More, I say.
1005
00:52:59,172 --> 00:53:00,994
Pardon, Your Majesty,
but I should be
1006
00:53:00,995 --> 00:53:02,721
greatly honoured
if I could cut in.
1007
00:53:02,812 --> 00:53:04,768
Of course, my dear Duc.
1008
00:53:04,852 --> 00:53:08,003
No, no, Your Majesty. I
meant with Her Majesty.
1009
00:53:08,092 --> 00:53:10,049
Oh, yes, help yourself.
1010
00:53:11,532 --> 00:53:13,921
Well, everybody to his own taste.
1011
00:53:18,732 --> 00:53:21,032
Oh, Your Grace, it is
indeed a joy to see
1012
00:53:21,033 --> 00:53:23,168
you and the Queen so
happily reunited.
1013
00:53:23,251 --> 00:53:25,144
Yes, she's not a bad
old stick, really.
1014
00:53:25,145 --> 00:53:27,131
After all, youth isn't
everything, is it?
1015
00:53:27,212 --> 00:53:29,168
Indeed not, sir.
1016
00:53:29,252 --> 00:53:31,542
It is well said
that there's many a
1017
00:53:31,543 --> 00:53:33,768
good tune played on an old fiddle.
1018
00:53:33,852 --> 00:53:35,544
True. Particularly
when you haven't
1019
00:53:35,545 --> 00:53:37,048
had your bow out for some time.
1020
00:53:39,131 --> 00:53:42,407
What do I want another wife for?
Look at the shower here tonight.
1021
00:53:42,491 --> 00:53:44,630
Not one of them worth a
second look. Certainly
1022
00:53:44,631 --> 00:53:46,405
not worth giving up
50,000 crowns for.
1023
00:53:50,411 --> 00:53:51,411
I tell you, Wol...
1024
00:53:54,531 --> 00:53:56,487
- Wolsey.
- Yes, my lord.
1025
00:53:56,571 --> 00:53:58,365
Who's that with the two beauties?
1026
00:53:58,366 --> 00:53:59,960
That's your third wife, sire.
1027
00:54:00,050 --> 00:54:02,962
Not her. The fella that's just
come in with the two beauties.
1028
00:54:03,050 --> 00:54:05,690
Fellow with two beauties, my lord?
1029
00:54:08,731 --> 00:54:12,928
Ooh, I see what you mean.
Oh, that's old Charles,
1030
00:54:13,010 --> 00:54:15,205
the Earl of Bristol,
and his daughters.
1031
00:54:15,290 --> 00:54:17,520
Oh, so those are Charlie's.
1032
00:54:17,610 --> 00:54:20,443
Why haven't I seen
them at court before?
1033
00:54:20,530 --> 00:54:23,075
He's been our ambassador
at the Spanish
1034
00:54:23,076 --> 00:54:25,365
court. They've only
just come back.
1035
00:54:25,450 --> 00:54:28,567
Looks like one of them hasn't
had time to unpack yet.
1036
00:54:28,650 --> 00:54:31,369
Ha, ha. Maybe I can give
her a hand with it.
1037
00:54:37,489 --> 00:54:39,720
♪ Musicians play: Ah, The Pavane ♪
1038
00:54:39,722 --> 00:54:41,325
My favourite measure.
1039
00:54:41,410 --> 00:54:43,366
Mine, too.
1040
00:54:46,249 --> 00:54:49,797
- Fancy that.
- Yes, I'm afraid he does.
1041
00:54:49,888 --> 00:54:51,844
May I have the pleasure?
1042
00:54:51,928 --> 00:54:54,123
Oh, no, I only came here to dance.
1043
00:54:54,208 --> 00:54:56,517
The King is asking you
to dance, Bettina.
1044
00:54:56,608 --> 00:54:58,564
Oh, well, that's...
1045
00:54:58,648 --> 00:54:59,922
The King.
1046
00:55:03,848 --> 00:55:07,318
Please excuse her, Your Majesty.
'Tis her first time at court.
1047
00:55:07,408 --> 00:55:09,547
That's all right.
There has to be a
1048
00:55:09,548 --> 00:55:11,923
first time for every
girl. May I, then?
1049
00:55:12,007 --> 00:55:13,963
Oh, well, of course, Your Majesty.
1050
00:55:14,047 --> 00:55:16,481
If I'd known who you were,
I wouldn't have said no.
1051
00:55:16,567 --> 00:55:19,207
You keep on saying that
and we'll be all right.
1052
00:55:24,167 --> 00:55:26,123
So they call you Bettina?
1053
00:55:26,207 --> 00:55:29,483
Yes, but most people just
call me Bet, Your Majesty.
1054
00:55:31,807 --> 00:55:34,446
If I'm going to call you
Bet, you must call me Major
1055
00:55:34,527 --> 00:55:36,483
All right, Major
1056
00:55:40,607 --> 00:55:42,563
You dance very well, Bet.
1057
00:55:42,647 --> 00:55:44,603
Thank you, Major
1058
00:55:48,086 --> 00:55:50,202
I'll bet you got
plenty of it in Spain?
1059
00:55:50,286 --> 00:55:53,244
Oh, no, they never let me be
alone with anyone long enough.
1060
00:55:53,326 --> 00:55:55,283
No, dancing, I mean.
1061
00:55:55,367 --> 00:55:58,040
Oh, yes. But it's very
different there, you know.
1062
00:55:58,127 --> 00:56:01,084
You see, there's
these two things...
1063
00:56:01,166 --> 00:56:03,122
Yes, I'd noticed those.
1064
00:56:03,206 --> 00:56:06,437
- They call them castanets.
- Oh, that's a new name for 'em.
1065
00:56:06,526 --> 00:56:08,482
And all the time you're dancing,
1066
00:56:08,566 --> 00:56:10,522
they keep knocking together.
1067
00:56:10,606 --> 00:56:12,562
Yes, I'd noticed that, too.
1068
00:56:16,286 --> 00:56:18,123
It's getting chilly
in here. Shall we go
1069
00:56:18,124 --> 00:56:19,915
into the summerhouse
and warm up a bit?
1070
00:56:20,006 --> 00:56:22,116
Oh, no, I've heard
what happens to girls
1071
00:56:22,117 --> 00:56:23,918
who go into summerhouses with men.
1072
00:56:24,005 --> 00:56:25,961
Good, that should
save a bit of time.
1073
00:56:26,045 --> 00:56:29,754
Oh, but I mustn't. I promised
my mother I'd be a good Bet.
1074
00:56:29,845 --> 00:56:32,679
You're the best bet I've
seen in years, believe me.
1075
00:56:32,766 --> 00:56:34,722
Major
1076
00:56:37,445 --> 00:56:39,561
Why is he taking her
out into the garden?
1077
00:56:39,645 --> 00:56:42,443
Oh, I expect just to get
a little air, madam.
1078
00:56:42,525 --> 00:56:44,481
How many more heirs does he want?
1079
00:56:46,325 --> 00:56:49,601
That's it. Now you're
getting the idea.
1080
00:56:49,685 --> 00:56:52,802
Oh. Oh, no more.
1081
00:56:52,885 --> 00:56:54,841
I'm not used to that
much, you know.
1082
00:56:54,925 --> 00:56:58,042
It won't hurt. Just a bit
more. Nearly finished.
1083
00:56:58,125 --> 00:57:00,080
Oh, no...
1084
00:57:00,164 --> 00:57:03,122
- No, no.
- Come on, come on.
1085
00:57:03,204 --> 00:57:07,596
Oh, no. My mother says I
mustn't have too much drink.
1086
00:57:07,685 --> 00:57:09,641
It can lead to a girl's ruin.
1087
00:57:09,725 --> 00:57:11,680
I'm beginning to love your mother.
1088
00:57:11,764 --> 00:57:13,720
Drink inflames the ardour.
1089
00:57:13,804 --> 00:57:16,079
Yes, the more you have,
the harder it gets.
1090
00:57:16,164 --> 00:57:18,280
To stop drinking, I mean. Ha, ha.
1091
00:57:20,004 --> 00:57:21,232
Ooh.
1092
00:57:21,324 --> 00:57:25,202
Oh, I can hardly believe it.
Little me in the King's arms.
1093
00:57:25,283 --> 00:57:27,798
Well, it's the best
boozer in town.
1094
00:57:27,884 --> 00:57:29,529
With all those beautiful ladies in
1095
00:57:29,530 --> 00:57:31,513
there, why on earth
did you pick on me?
1096
00:57:31,604 --> 00:57:33,754
Well, there's a couple
of things, I suppose.
1097
00:57:33,844 --> 00:57:37,119
Oh, Major You're only
after one thing.
1098
00:57:37,203 --> 00:57:40,001
Why? What's the matter
with the other one?
1099
00:57:40,083 --> 00:57:43,439
Oh, I think you're one of those
men with evil dimensions.
1100
00:57:43,523 --> 00:57:45,594
Intentions. On the
contrary, my dear,
1101
00:57:45,684 --> 00:57:47,947
I'm about to do you
the greatest honour
1102
00:57:47,948 --> 00:57:50,154
a benevolent monarch
can do a subject.
1103
00:57:50,243 --> 00:57:53,235
I know, you're going
to make me a lady.
1104
00:57:53,323 --> 00:57:54,597
Well, not quite.
1105
00:57:54,683 --> 00:57:55,683
What, then?
1106
00:57:55,684 --> 00:57:57,151
To start with, I'm
going to kiss you.
1107
00:57:57,243 --> 00:57:59,537
Oh, no, my mother says I
mustn't start kissing
1108
00:57:59,538 --> 00:58:01,440
men. You never know
where it will end.
1109
00:58:01,522 --> 00:58:02,956
I know where it will end.
1110
00:58:03,043 --> 00:58:06,433
No, she says I must save
myself until I have a husband.
1111
00:58:06,523 --> 00:58:09,019
Well, that's all
right. I'm a husband.
1112
00:58:09,020 --> 00:58:10,020
That's right.
1113
00:58:10,083 --> 00:58:12,038
- You are, aren't you?
- Yes.
1114
00:58:21,763 --> 00:58:23,719
There.
1115
00:58:24,762 --> 00:58:26,673
- That was a little one.
- Yes.
1116
00:58:26,762 --> 00:58:31,313
- Now, show me a big one.
- Oh, no, not now. I'm too hot.
1117
00:58:31,402 --> 00:58:33,996
No wonder you're too hot.
You're laced up too tight.
1118
00:58:34,082 --> 00:58:37,710
Oh, no. Don't you undo those.
I've nothing underneath.
1119
00:58:37,801 --> 00:58:39,872
You must be joking.
Go on, I won't look.
1120
00:58:39,962 --> 00:58:42,999
Oh, well, all right, then.
But I'll undo them.
1121
00:58:43,082 --> 00:58:45,437
If you promise to keep your
eyes shut all the time?
1122
00:58:45,522 --> 00:58:47,478
Yes, yes, of course, yes.
1123
00:58:51,041 --> 00:58:52,997
I won't be a minute.
1124
00:58:55,681 --> 00:58:57,637
There, that's better.
1125
00:58:57,721 --> 00:59:00,553
Come on, where are you?
1126
00:59:00,640 --> 00:59:02,596
Cor... Ooh.
1127
00:59:02,680 --> 00:59:05,478
Oh, Bet, my darling Bet,
1128
00:59:05,560 --> 00:59:07,471
you are beautiful.
1129
00:59:07,560 --> 00:59:10,028
- Ooh, what have I done?
- Hee, hee.
1130
00:59:11,600 --> 00:59:13,555
You little devil, you.
1131
00:59:13,639 --> 00:59:15,595
Come here.
1132
00:59:17,360 --> 00:59:20,670
There must be an easier way
to earn a loving. Come here.
1133
00:59:24,359 --> 00:59:28,034
Ah, good day, my love.
Good day indeed.
1134
00:59:29,319 --> 00:59:32,550
And where, might I ask, have you
been for the past two weeks?
1135
00:59:32,639 --> 00:59:35,712
Me? I had to go down to Bristol
to lay a foundation stone.
1136
00:59:35,800 --> 00:59:38,757
Yes, I rather thought you
might be laying something.
1137
00:59:39,799 --> 00:59:41,513
How good it is to see my dear wife
1138
00:59:41,514 --> 00:59:43,428
so happily intent
on her embroidery.
1139
00:59:43,519 --> 00:59:45,528
And why should I not
be happy, my lord,
1140
00:59:45,529 --> 00:59:47,637
when it is something
to remind me of you?
1141
00:59:47,719 --> 00:59:50,073
Me? Really? Let's have a look.
1142
00:59:52,918 --> 00:59:54,955
It is not quite finished yet.
1143
00:59:55,039 --> 00:59:56,995
No. No, don't tell me...
1144
00:59:57,079 --> 00:59:59,752
Oh, yes. "Henry is a...
1145
00:59:59,839 --> 01:00:01,794
shining example to one and all."
1146
01:00:01,878 --> 01:00:05,427
Oh, now you have spoilt
my little surprise.
1147
01:00:05,518 --> 01:00:08,874
And talking of surprises, my
love, I have one for you.
1148
01:00:08,958 --> 01:00:09,958
Yes?
1149
01:00:09,959 --> 01:00:11,597
Something you've
needed for some time.
1150
01:00:11,679 --> 01:00:13,477
Isn't it a little late for that?
1151
01:00:13,478 --> 01:00:15,910
You'll never guess. A
new lady-in-waiting.
1152
01:00:15,998 --> 01:00:17,067
Come in, my dear.
1153
01:00:19,918 --> 01:00:21,874
There you are.
1154
01:00:21,958 --> 01:00:24,108
Now, don't say I never
get you anything.
1155
01:00:26,677 --> 01:00:29,589
Go on, say your piece.
1156
01:00:29,677 --> 01:00:31,634
Your Majesty,
1157
01:00:31,718 --> 01:00:35,074
it is a great honour.
The King has done me.
1158
01:00:36,278 --> 01:00:38,916
No, no, no. No full stop.
1159
01:00:38,997 --> 01:00:41,227
A great honour the
King has done me.
1160
01:00:41,317 --> 01:00:43,273
Oh, that's right. Sorry.
1161
01:00:43,357 --> 01:00:47,350
It is a great honour the King
has done me by making me.
1162
01:00:48,437 --> 01:00:50,792
By making me your lady-in-waiting.
1163
01:00:50,877 --> 01:00:52,435
Dear, oh, dear.
1164
01:00:52,517 --> 01:00:56,305
By making me your lady-in-waiting.
Oh, dear, oh, dear.
1165
01:01:10,917 --> 01:01:12,872
A whole month gone
1166
01:01:12,956 --> 01:01:15,624
and nothing but an
occasional wave do I get
1167
01:01:15,625 --> 01:01:18,110
from her to still the
fever in my blood.
1168
01:01:18,196 --> 01:01:21,313
Methinks, sire, it is high
time we went hunting again.
1169
01:01:21,396 --> 01:01:23,352
No, I'm in no mood for that.
1170
01:01:23,436 --> 01:01:27,668
Ooh, I have such a passion for
this wench, it rots my very socks.
1171
01:01:27,756 --> 01:01:30,714
- Then make her yours.
- Don't you think I've tried?
1172
01:01:30,796 --> 01:01:32,962
But every time my eager
hand lights upon
1173
01:01:32,963 --> 01:01:35,392
her... flesh, you can
hear the wedding march.
1174
01:01:35,476 --> 01:01:39,024
- Oh, then you must marry her.
- And lose 50,000 crowns?
1175
01:01:39,115 --> 01:01:42,824
Perhaps for nothing? Oh, no. I've
been tricked by women before.
1176
01:01:42,915 --> 01:01:45,739
Too often have I split
open a likely looking pod
1177
01:01:45,740 --> 01:01:48,274
to find nothing but
shrivelled peas within.
1178
01:01:48,356 --> 01:01:50,744
You have not seen her without?
1179
01:01:50,835 --> 01:01:52,791
No, worst luck.
1180
01:01:52,875 --> 01:01:55,230
If I could only be
sure that the...
1181
01:01:56,795 --> 01:01:59,514
were all they promised, I
would indeed risk all.
1182
01:01:59,595 --> 01:02:01,550
Well, sire,
1183
01:02:01,634 --> 01:02:04,945
there are more ways than
one to peel a banana.
1184
01:02:05,035 --> 01:02:07,424
- Over here, we have petunias.
- They're lovely.
1185
01:02:07,515 --> 01:02:09,679
A little further down
is the rose garden.
1186
01:02:09,680 --> 01:02:10,712
They're beautiful.
1187
01:02:10,795 --> 01:02:13,945
The gardeners are kept very busy.
There's quite a lot of them.
1188
01:02:14,034 --> 01:02:16,502
Well, there would need
to be, wouldn't there?
1189
01:02:16,594 --> 01:02:19,347
The swans should be
coming up fairly shortly.
1190
01:02:19,434 --> 01:02:22,552
- Over there, you see.
- Oh, where?
1191
01:02:22,635 --> 01:02:23,635
Oh, yes.
1192
01:02:23,636 --> 01:02:26,024
I've got the biggest
swan in the country.
1193
01:02:26,114 --> 01:02:27,787
Come over here, I'll
show it to you.
1194
01:02:27,788 --> 01:02:28,788
Yes.
1195
01:02:28,789 --> 01:02:30,902
Now, just over here, you
get a beautiful view.
1196
01:02:30,994 --> 01:02:34,270
Just er... round about
there, I would say.
1197
01:02:35,674 --> 01:02:37,107
Oh.
1198
01:02:37,194 --> 01:02:39,071
You twit.
1199
01:02:40,554 --> 01:02:43,114
Oh, you poor thing.
1200
01:02:43,194 --> 01:02:46,823
You're all wet through. Here, let
me help you off with your cloak.
1201
01:02:46,914 --> 01:02:50,064
No, no, it's the wrong way
round. I was supposed to help...
1202
01:03:03,873 --> 01:03:05,646
See? That is the
window of the room
1203
01:03:05,647 --> 01:03:07,468
where she daily
bathes at this hour.
1204
01:03:07,553 --> 01:03:09,589
Ha, ha. Right, no
mistakes this time.
1205
01:03:09,673 --> 01:03:12,630
Don't worry, sire,
nothing can go wrong.
1206
01:03:19,272 --> 01:03:21,228
All right, let's go.
1207
01:03:21,312 --> 01:03:24,588
- Well, come on, come on.
- She won't move, sire.
1208
01:03:24,672 --> 01:03:26,980
Giddy-up, you lazy lump.
1209
01:03:29,231 --> 01:03:30,630
No. Argh.
1210
01:03:43,271 --> 01:03:45,281
M'lord, sir Roger's
given in. He'll
1211
01:03:45,282 --> 01:03:46,900
sign a retraction statement.
1212
01:03:46,991 --> 01:03:49,003
Thank heavens. After
all these weeks
1213
01:03:49,004 --> 01:03:50,744
of waiting. Well, bring him in.
1214
01:04:00,671 --> 01:04:03,423
Cromwell, you win again.
1215
01:04:03,510 --> 01:04:06,308
I warned you, sir
Roger. We'll go to...
1216
01:04:07,350 --> 01:04:09,818
We'll go to any lengths
to get what we want.
1217
01:04:19,350 --> 01:04:21,466
You sent for me, my lord?
1218
01:04:21,550 --> 01:04:24,119
Yes, Mistress Bet. We're
so well pleased with
1219
01:04:24,120 --> 01:04:26,464
your services that we
wish to honour you.
1220
01:04:26,549 --> 01:04:30,828
- Oh. Oh, how lovely.
- Carry on, my Lord Cardinal.
1221
01:04:30,910 --> 01:04:35,222
It is Our most gracious Majesty's
desire that you be given this.
1222
01:04:35,310 --> 01:04:37,028
Oh, isn't it lovely?
1223
01:04:38,229 --> 01:04:39,378
Shall I put it on?
1224
01:04:39,469 --> 01:04:40,890
Not yet. A ceremonial gown goes
1225
01:04:40,891 --> 01:04:42,586
with it that you
must put on first.
1226
01:04:42,669 --> 01:04:45,183
- Oh. Now?
- Of course.
1227
01:04:45,269 --> 01:04:47,419
But surely Your Grace
would not be so cruel as
1228
01:04:47,420 --> 01:04:49,661
to ask me to take this one
off before your eyes?
1229
01:04:49,750 --> 01:04:52,547
Of course not. That's
what the screen is for.
1230
01:04:52,629 --> 01:04:55,587
Oh, I'm sorry I
misjudged you, my lord.
1231
01:05:12,469 --> 01:05:14,823
- Phwoar.
- Do you mind?
1232
01:05:14,908 --> 01:05:17,422
Oh, I beg your pardon,
Your Majesty,
1233
01:05:17,508 --> 01:05:21,865
but I have ne'er seen one
so beautifully endowed.
1234
01:05:21,948 --> 01:05:23,904
Those dimpled shoulders,
1235
01:05:23,988 --> 01:05:25,945
that slender neck,
1236
01:05:26,988 --> 01:05:29,377
those shell-like ears...
1237
01:05:29,468 --> 01:05:33,063
Later. I'm going the other way.
1238
01:05:35,468 --> 01:05:38,220
Sire, I have it. I have it.
1239
01:05:39,307 --> 01:05:41,138
Quiet.
1240
01:05:42,467 --> 01:05:44,424
There. Is it all right?
1241
01:05:44,508 --> 01:05:46,464
Absolutely perfect, my dear.
1242
01:05:46,548 --> 01:05:48,369
Cromwell, you couldn't
have come at a
1243
01:05:48,370 --> 01:05:50,143
better time. Meet
your future queen.
1244
01:05:50,227 --> 01:05:53,663
How do you do, madam? Here it
is at last, sire. Duly signed.
1245
01:05:54,747 --> 01:05:56,624
Future queen?
1246
01:05:56,707 --> 01:05:58,982
That's right. As from
as soon as possible.
1247
01:05:59,067 --> 01:06:01,787
But I have, sir Roger's
retraction here. Look.
1248
01:06:01,868 --> 01:06:04,700
Retraction, you fool. What use
is that? I want a divorce.
1249
01:06:04,787 --> 01:06:07,176
A divorce? But what
of Queen Marie?
1250
01:06:07,267 --> 01:06:11,101
Your issue? The
50,000 gold crowns?
1251
01:06:11,187 --> 01:06:13,353
You charlatan. Would
you put mere gold
1252
01:06:13,354 --> 01:06:15,464
before the well-being
of all England?
1253
01:06:15,546 --> 01:06:17,298
Wellbeing of England?
1254
01:06:17,386 --> 01:06:20,902
Certainly. If I'm happy,
everybody's happy.
1255
01:06:20,987 --> 01:06:23,865
What are you waiting for?
Go and get that confession.
1256
01:06:31,186 --> 01:06:33,488
Well, there you are,
then. As you see, I've
1257
01:06:33,489 --> 01:06:35,737
managed to get your old
room back for you.
1258
01:06:35,826 --> 01:06:38,465
- It's really quite...
- Please, my Lord Cardinal.
1259
01:06:38,546 --> 01:06:41,504
Spare me the bit about the view
from the window. I've seen it.
1260
01:06:41,586 --> 01:06:43,735
Well, it won't be for
long. Just until they
1261
01:06:43,736 --> 01:06:45,738
get, sir Roger's
confession of paternity.
1262
01:06:45,826 --> 01:06:48,420
My lord, you are still
my friend, art thou not?
1263
01:06:48,506 --> 01:06:50,461
Oh, I most definitely art, yes.
1264
01:06:50,545 --> 01:06:52,004
Then help me get word of my
1265
01:06:52,005 --> 01:06:54,220
imprisonment to my
cousin King Francis.
1266
01:06:54,305 --> 01:06:56,535
Oh, not another letter, please.
1267
01:06:56,625 --> 01:06:58,582
Oh, 'tis only a short one.
1268
01:07:01,746 --> 01:07:03,303
Oooh...
1269
01:07:03,385 --> 01:07:05,341
Don't worry, I'll tell him.
1270
01:07:07,825 --> 01:07:10,703
What do you mean, he won't
fit into it any more?
1271
01:07:10,785 --> 01:07:13,583
The rack won't go any further,
m'lord. He's outgrown it.
1272
01:07:13,665 --> 01:07:16,099
That's ridiculous. There
must be some way.
1273
01:07:16,185 --> 01:07:18,141
Here, wait a minute.
1274
01:07:18,225 --> 01:07:20,659
What about the iron maiden?
I've never tried that.
1275
01:07:20,745 --> 01:07:23,134
Well, I suppose we
could give it a try.
1276
01:07:23,225 --> 01:07:26,342
Hello? Anyone in there?
1277
01:07:26,425 --> 01:07:29,938
Oh, no, it says vacant. Look.
1278
01:07:30,023 --> 01:07:32,059
That's a bit of luck.
1279
01:07:38,504 --> 01:07:41,415
Would you mind? Thanks. The hat.
1280
01:07:41,503 --> 01:07:43,459
There. I think I can manage it.
1281
01:07:45,423 --> 01:07:47,414
Mind you don't prick yourself.
1282
01:07:47,503 --> 01:07:49,459
Bye-bye.
1283
01:07:50,503 --> 01:07:53,540
Don't stay in there too long.
Others may want to use it.
1284
01:07:55,263 --> 01:07:58,096
Move the spikes in one inch daily.
1285
01:08:06,822 --> 01:08:09,290
- Your Majesty.
- Did you get the confession?
1286
01:08:09,382 --> 01:08:11,738
- I fear not, sire.
- It's been a whole week.
1287
01:08:11,823 --> 01:08:13,973
I know. His stamina's amazing.
1288
01:08:14,063 --> 01:08:16,018
But I don't think
he can keep it up.
1289
01:08:16,102 --> 01:08:18,058
I don't think I can either.
1290
01:08:18,142 --> 01:08:20,736
How much longer are we going
to stand here waiting?
1291
01:08:20,822 --> 01:08:22,699
All right. Take a
break. Back in an hour.
1292
01:08:22,782 --> 01:08:24,738
Then that is the plan, gentlemen.
1293
01:08:24,822 --> 01:08:26,858
We rescue Queen Marie
from the Tower,
1294
01:08:26,941 --> 01:08:28,898
confront Henry with her,
1295
01:08:28,982 --> 01:08:31,098
and force his abdication
in her favour.
1296
01:08:31,182 --> 01:08:33,300
Agreed. But how will
we gain access to
1297
01:08:33,301 --> 01:08:35,255
the main gate? It's
heavily bolted.
1298
01:08:35,342 --> 01:08:37,902
Yes. That is the main problem.
1299
01:08:37,982 --> 01:08:40,442
Well, I still have those
barrels of gunpowder.
1300
01:08:40,443 --> 01:08:41,496
Thank you, Fawkes.
1301
01:08:43,821 --> 01:08:46,460
Well, well, I see you're
keeping busy, madam.
1302
01:08:48,142 --> 01:08:50,497
Yes, it is a present
for my cousin Francis.
1303
01:08:50,582 --> 01:08:53,857
When it is finished, I would like
you to smuggle it out to him.
1304
01:08:53,941 --> 01:08:55,533
Oooh.
1305
01:08:55,621 --> 01:08:58,089
Ooh, I do hope that won't
be necessary, madam.
1306
01:08:58,181 --> 01:09:00,186
Sir Roger has not
confessed yet, then?
1307
01:09:00,187 --> 01:09:01,187
No, no.
1308
01:09:01,188 --> 01:09:03,738
No, madam, it's quite
extraordinary. Two weeks now.
1309
01:09:06,581 --> 01:09:08,537
Is it true, then? He
is ready to sign?
1310
01:09:08,621 --> 01:09:10,798
I think so, m'lord.
At the last turn
1311
01:09:10,799 --> 01:09:13,092
of the spikes, he
cried out, "Enough."
1312
01:09:13,181 --> 01:09:15,648
Oh, good. Open up, then,
quickly. Open up.
1313
01:09:15,740 --> 01:09:18,129
Well, well, sir Roger.
1314
01:09:18,220 --> 01:09:20,939
- You've had enough, then?
- I'll say.
1315
01:09:21,020 --> 01:09:25,856
There was a shocking draught in
the most extraordinary places.
1316
01:09:25,941 --> 01:09:28,010
Well, help him out.
Quickly, quickly.
1317
01:09:30,300 --> 01:09:32,256
Sign here.
1318
01:09:32,340 --> 01:09:35,457
Oh, do you mind? First,
please, can I have a drink?
1319
01:09:35,540 --> 01:09:37,334
Yes. Water, quickly.
Go to the King
1320
01:09:37,335 --> 01:09:39,327
immediately and tell
him the good news.
1321
01:09:39,419 --> 01:09:41,375
Here, sign. Sign here.
1322
01:09:55,419 --> 01:09:57,495
Sir Roger is to sign
the confession.
1323
01:09:57,496 --> 01:09:59,571
That's it. I'm
divorced. Here we go.
1324
01:10:03,579 --> 01:10:05,535
Come on, love. Wake
up. This is it.
1325
01:10:05,619 --> 01:10:07,575
Where's Wolsey? Where is he?
1326
01:10:07,659 --> 01:10:09,889
He said he had to go to
Canterbury to try a witch.
1327
01:10:09,979 --> 01:10:12,539
- Try a witch. Why?
- Oh, don't ask me.
1328
01:10:12,619 --> 01:10:15,576
I should have thought they'd
be the same as any other girl.
1329
01:10:15,658 --> 01:10:17,257
He doesn't mean "try"
in that sense.
1330
01:10:17,258 --> 01:10:18,855
Never mind, we'll
do it without him.
1331
01:10:18,938 --> 01:10:20,977
We weren't going to do
it with him, were we?
1332
01:10:20,978 --> 01:10:21,978
I mean get married.
1333
01:10:22,019 --> 01:10:23,019
But how?
1334
01:10:23,020 --> 01:10:25,216
Nothing to it. Just stand
there. I'll show you.
1335
01:10:26,259 --> 01:10:28,533
She does. I do. I now
declare us. That's it.
1336
01:10:28,618 --> 01:10:30,574
In you go. Through there.
1337
01:10:30,658 --> 01:10:33,126
- Is that all?
- What do you want? Organ music?
1338
01:10:33,218 --> 01:10:36,096
- But I don't feel married.
- You will in half an hour.
1339
01:10:42,698 --> 01:10:44,654
Beautiful, beautiful.
1340
01:10:44,738 --> 01:10:47,810
Every inch a queen and
every inch accounted for.
1341
01:10:47,898 --> 01:10:49,650
What are you reading?
1342
01:10:49,738 --> 01:10:51,728
Ball's Book of English Law.
1343
01:10:51,817 --> 01:10:53,933
- Pardon?
- It says here
1344
01:10:54,017 --> 01:10:56,108
that no marriage is
legal unless it is
1345
01:10:56,109 --> 01:10:58,091
performed by a member
of the church.
1346
01:10:58,178 --> 01:11:00,487
Oh, that's just Ball's... outlook.
1347
01:11:00,578 --> 01:11:03,138
- But it says it.
- I know that.
1348
01:11:03,218 --> 01:11:05,262
But what you don't
know is that I made
1349
01:11:05,263 --> 01:11:07,096
myself head of the English Church.
1350
01:11:07,177 --> 01:11:09,566
- Really? When?
- Right now.
1351
01:11:09,657 --> 01:11:13,366
Oh, so it's all right,
then. I really am Queen?
1352
01:11:13,457 --> 01:11:15,574
That's it. Bet, Queen of England.
1353
01:11:15,658 --> 01:11:18,296
You'll have to tell me
what my duties are.
1354
01:11:18,377 --> 01:11:20,333
I'll do better. I'll show you.
1355
01:11:25,257 --> 01:11:27,612
How many times do I
have to tell them about
1356
01:11:27,613 --> 01:11:29,807
that? It could have
ruined my prospects.
1357
01:11:29,896 --> 01:11:32,855
Poor Henry. Can I do something?
1358
01:11:32,937 --> 01:11:35,087
If you can't, I've
been wasting my time.
1359
01:11:35,177 --> 01:11:37,372
Hang on.
1360
01:11:39,057 --> 01:11:41,011
Oh, Bet. Sweet Bet.
1361
01:11:41,095 --> 01:11:43,051
How long have I waited
for this moment?
1362
01:11:43,135 --> 01:11:47,094
Oh, dear Henry. I do hope I shall
not be a disappointment to you.
1363
01:11:47,175 --> 01:11:49,848
- I'm sure you won't.
- But it's all right for you.
1364
01:11:49,935 --> 01:11:53,211
- You've had plenty of practise.
- Oh, Bet, sweet Bet.
1365
01:11:53,295 --> 01:11:55,855
Oh, no, go away. I'm busy.
1366
01:11:55,935 --> 01:11:58,927
Pardon, but it's King Francis.
He's riding into the courtyard.
1367
01:11:59,015 --> 01:12:00,971
Francis.
1368
01:12:11,015 --> 01:12:13,635
It is Francis. I'm sorry,
love. I'll have to go.
1369
01:12:13,636 --> 01:12:16,042
Keep it warm. I'll be
back as soon as I can.
1370
01:12:21,734 --> 01:12:23,690
- Fanny.
- Gracey.
1371
01:12:23,774 --> 01:12:25,730
Oh, pardon. Lipstick.
1372
01:12:25,814 --> 01:12:28,647
How overjoyed I am to see
you again, my dear friend.
1373
01:12:28,734 --> 01:12:32,044
And I you. I hope you did not
mind my coming unheralded?
1374
01:12:32,134 --> 01:12:34,106
Not at all. I am
honoured to see my
1375
01:12:34,107 --> 01:12:35,968
noble, well-loved
ally at any time.
1376
01:12:36,054 --> 01:12:39,012
Merci. Up ze glorious
line of England.
1377
01:12:39,094 --> 01:12:40,971
And up yours. Well,
I won't keep you. I
1378
01:12:40,972 --> 01:12:42,847
expect you're wanting
to get back home.
1379
01:12:42,933 --> 01:12:44,048
True, true.
1380
01:12:44,133 --> 01:12:46,408
But I could not bear
to leave without first
1381
01:12:46,409 --> 01:12:48,889
paying respects to my
dear cousin, Queen Marie.
1382
01:12:48,974 --> 01:12:52,283
Yes... Well, now, that's not
quite possible at the moment.
1383
01:12:52,373 --> 01:12:53,373
No?
1384
01:12:53,374 --> 01:12:55,445
Well, she's getting
very near her time.
1385
01:12:55,533 --> 01:12:57,489
How you so quaintly put it.
1386
01:12:57,573 --> 01:12:59,928
In ze club of ze pudding?
1387
01:13:00,013 --> 01:13:02,288
That's it. Queen's
pudding. Ha, ha.
1388
01:13:03,573 --> 01:13:07,043
And no doubt she will be resting
up in her bedchamber now?
1389
01:13:07,133 --> 01:13:08,282
Naturally. Where else?
1390
01:13:09,373 --> 01:13:13,127
You know, this will make you
laugh very much. But...
1391
01:13:13,213 --> 01:13:15,338
An absurd rumour has reached me...
1392
01:13:15,339 --> 01:13:16,339
Yes?
1393
01:13:16,340 --> 01:13:19,488
Zat she is being
confined in ze Tower.
1394
01:13:19,572 --> 01:13:21,528
The Tower? Ha, ha.
1395
01:13:21,612 --> 01:13:26,528
Absurd, I know. Something about
ze pudding not being yours.
1396
01:13:26,613 --> 01:13:28,171
Ha, ha.
1397
01:13:28,253 --> 01:13:31,210
I've never heard anything
so ridiculous in my life.
1398
01:13:31,292 --> 01:13:34,204
Absurd, I know. That is
what I tell my advisors.
1399
01:13:34,292 --> 01:13:35,292
You see,
1400
01:13:35,332 --> 01:13:38,802
Bidet, I told you, there was
no need to bring ze army.
1401
01:13:38,892 --> 01:13:39,892
Army?
1402
01:13:40,971 --> 01:13:44,248
Just 20,000 men. They
are encamped at Dover.
1403
01:13:44,332 --> 01:13:46,344
Fancy. I hope they're
enjoying themselves.
1404
01:13:46,345 --> 01:13:48,450
Dover can be very nice
at this time of year.
1405
01:13:48,532 --> 01:13:50,602
I thought ze change
would do them good.
1406
01:13:50,692 --> 01:13:52,647
They're very restless, you know.
1407
01:13:52,731 --> 01:13:54,847
They have not fought
for some time.
1408
01:13:54,931 --> 01:13:56,887
Yes, I've er...
just had a thought.
1409
01:13:56,971 --> 01:13:59,804
I'll pop upstairs and see if
Marie can see you for a while.
1410
01:13:59,891 --> 01:14:02,087
Oh, zat would be most kind.
1411
01:14:02,172 --> 01:14:04,499
I thought it might be.
Meanwhile, I'll have
1412
01:14:04,500 --> 01:14:06,562
some food and wine
brought in for you.
1413
01:14:06,651 --> 01:14:08,846
- Oh, zat would be delightful.
- Yes.
1414
01:14:14,531 --> 01:14:17,408
Get wine and food. Keep them
occupied as long as you can.
1415
01:14:17,490 --> 01:14:19,288
Yes, sire.
1416
01:14:19,371 --> 01:14:21,726
- Wolsey, come here.
- Ooh, I'm so sorry...
1417
01:14:21,811 --> 01:14:24,689
Never mind. Go to the Tower fast
as you can and bring Marie here.
1418
01:14:24,771 --> 01:14:26,887
- What?
- Go on. Go on.
1419
01:15:06,529 --> 01:15:08,520
Oh, Fawkes.
1420
01:15:08,609 --> 01:15:11,840
You and your bloody gunpowder.
1421
01:15:11,929 --> 01:15:14,125
Just a minute.
1422
01:15:34,249 --> 01:15:36,001
Come on.
1423
01:15:45,088 --> 01:15:47,118
Well, well, well.
Looking after you
1424
01:15:47,119 --> 01:15:48,922
all right, are they, gentlemen?
1425
01:15:49,008 --> 01:15:51,443
Plenty of wine?
1426
01:15:51,529 --> 01:15:52,723
Where's King Francis?
1427
01:15:52,809 --> 01:15:55,282
I fear he grew
impatient, my lord, and
1428
01:15:55,283 --> 01:15:57,881
decided to go up and
surprise the Queen.
1429
01:15:57,967 --> 01:15:59,525
Oh, no.
1430
01:16:00,607 --> 01:16:02,677
Now it's war.
1431
01:16:09,367 --> 01:16:12,120
Haw-haw-haw.
1432
01:16:15,167 --> 01:16:17,123
Surprise.
1433
01:16:18,726 --> 01:16:20,682
Oh, pardon, madam.
1434
01:16:20,766 --> 01:16:22,722
Oh, that's all right.
1435
01:16:22,806 --> 01:16:25,684
I thought this was the
Queen's bedchamber.
1436
01:16:25,766 --> 01:16:27,917
Oh, it is. Who are you, then?
1437
01:16:28,007 --> 01:16:29,962
Francis,
1438
01:16:30,046 --> 01:16:32,002
King of France.
1439
01:16:33,046 --> 01:16:35,002
At your service.
1440
01:16:35,086 --> 01:16:39,318
Oh, I say. Two kings in my room
in one night. That's going it.
1441
01:16:39,406 --> 01:16:42,317
- Mon Dieu, you are ravishing.
- What, me?
1442
01:16:42,405 --> 01:16:45,522
What we call in France,
un Petit raver.
1443
01:16:45,605 --> 01:16:46,605
Ooh.
1444
01:16:46,646 --> 01:16:49,718
But tell me, I must
know... who are you?
1445
01:16:49,806 --> 01:16:51,956
Oh, I'm the Queen, silly.
1446
01:16:53,206 --> 01:16:55,161
Ze Queen?
1447
01:16:57,885 --> 01:16:59,841
Oh, you've met.
1448
01:16:59,925 --> 01:17:04,397
Who is this and what does she
mean by... she is the Queen?
1449
01:17:04,486 --> 01:17:06,160
Did she tell you
that? She's having
1450
01:17:06,161 --> 01:17:07,602
you on. Don't take any notice.
1451
01:17:07,685 --> 01:17:10,438
You're a naughty girl. What are
you doing in the Queen's bed?
1452
01:17:10,525 --> 01:17:12,083
Waiting for you.
1453
01:17:12,165 --> 01:17:14,121
Ha. Ha.
1454
01:17:14,205 --> 01:17:16,161
I understand. She
is your mistress?
1455
01:17:16,245 --> 01:17:19,759
She is not. She's the Queen's
lady-in-waiting, Mistress Bettina.
1456
01:17:19,844 --> 01:17:23,235
What are you talking
about? You married me.
1457
01:17:23,325 --> 01:17:25,281
Ha, ha. Married.
1458
01:17:25,365 --> 01:17:27,321
That's a laugh.
1459
01:17:27,405 --> 01:17:30,202
She's a nice, little thing but
she hasn't got much up here.
1460
01:17:30,284 --> 01:17:32,639
But she makes up for it elsewhere?
1461
01:17:32,724 --> 01:17:35,363
Don't you think we ought
to go back downstairs?
1462
01:17:35,444 --> 01:17:38,516
No, no. I wish to have a few
words with Mistress Bettina.
1463
01:17:38,604 --> 01:17:41,914
My dear, are you hiding
something from me?
1464
01:17:42,004 --> 01:17:44,598
In this nightgown?
You must be joking.
1465
01:17:44,684 --> 01:17:48,962
Then zere is something I want
you to tell me very truthfully.
1466
01:17:49,044 --> 01:17:50,238
Yes, what?
1467
01:17:50,324 --> 01:17:53,872
I wish to know where Marie is.
1468
01:17:55,083 --> 01:17:57,233
- Marie?
- Yes, yes.
1469
01:17:59,564 --> 01:18:01,634
Oh, she's up the spout.
1470
01:18:01,724 --> 01:18:04,477
Er, no, no. I don't zink
you quite understand.
1471
01:18:04,564 --> 01:18:07,521
Where, is, she?
1472
01:18:08,803 --> 01:18:11,033
Oh. Oh, she's upstairs.
1473
01:18:11,123 --> 01:18:13,159
Upstairs?
1474
01:18:13,243 --> 01:18:15,120
That's right. In the Tower.
1475
01:18:17,014 --> 01:18:18,014
So, it is true?
1476
01:18:18,015 --> 01:18:20,161
Now, wait a minute,
Fanny. I can explain.
1477
01:18:20,243 --> 01:18:22,199
Don't bother.
1478
01:18:23,483 --> 01:18:25,439
I shall return...
1479
01:18:25,523 --> 01:18:27,479
with my army.
1480
01:18:28,563 --> 01:18:30,553
Big mouth.
1481
01:18:32,162 --> 01:18:34,118
Gentlemen.
1482
01:18:34,202 --> 01:18:36,158
We will rejoin ze army.
1483
01:18:36,243 --> 01:18:38,199
It is war.
1484
01:18:38,283 --> 01:18:40,239
Fanny, wait. Here, Fanny.
1485
01:18:40,323 --> 01:18:42,756
Fanny, come here.
Now, let me explain.
1486
01:18:42,842 --> 01:18:46,073
You are a liar. You told me the
Queen was not in ze Tower.
1487
01:18:46,162 --> 01:18:48,381
Only because I didn't
want to worry you.
1488
01:18:48,382 --> 01:18:49,382
Worry? Me?
1489
01:18:49,383 --> 01:18:52,080
You see, I had news of a
plot on the Queen's life.
1490
01:18:52,162 --> 01:18:54,550
They were going to abduct
her from the palace.
1491
01:18:54,642 --> 01:18:56,598
- And?
- And well, to fool them,
1492
01:18:56,682 --> 01:18:58,840
we put the lady-in-waiting
in her room and
1493
01:18:58,841 --> 01:19:01,198
Wolsey took the Queen to
the Tower for safety.
1494
01:19:01,282 --> 01:19:03,844
I hope zis time you are
telling me the truth.
1495
01:19:03,845 --> 01:19:04,911
Why should I lie?
1496
01:19:05,002 --> 01:19:06,320
Your Majesty...
1497
01:19:06,401 --> 01:19:08,278
Here's Wolsey. He'll tell you.
1498
01:19:08,361 --> 01:19:09,916
Your Majesty, I have dire news.
1499
01:19:09,917 --> 01:19:12,320
I'm not interested in
your personal complaints.
1500
01:19:12,401 --> 01:19:13,676
- But, sire...
- Never mind.
1501
01:19:13,762 --> 01:19:15,594
King Francis would
like to know whether
1502
01:19:15,595 --> 01:19:17,152
the Queen is safely in the Tower.
1503
01:19:17,242 --> 01:19:18,242
No, she isn't.
1504
01:19:18,243 --> 01:19:20,438
Don't mess about. You can
tell him. It's fine.
1505
01:19:20,521 --> 01:19:22,716
But she isn't there.
She's been abducted.
1506
01:19:22,801 --> 01:19:26,350
Well, Henry? What
game is this, huh?
1507
01:19:26,441 --> 01:19:28,464
I cannot believe it.
My dear beautiful
1508
01:19:28,465 --> 01:19:30,228
wife, to lose her at such a time.
1509
01:19:30,320 --> 01:19:32,359
And it's all your
fault, you Cardinal.
1510
01:19:32,360 --> 01:19:33,552
Me? What have I done?
1511
01:19:33,641 --> 01:19:35,452
What haven't you done?
I entrusted her
1512
01:19:35,453 --> 01:19:37,031
to you and you betrayed my trust.
1513
01:19:37,121 --> 01:19:39,306
I've been trying to get
rid of her for a year.
1514
01:19:39,307 --> 01:19:41,000
There's only one
cure for traitors.
1515
01:19:41,081 --> 01:19:44,197
- To the Tower with him.
- Ooh, no. Get your hands off me.
1516
01:19:44,280 --> 01:19:46,350
Sire, look... Mind my hat.
1517
01:19:46,440 --> 01:19:48,396
Listen, can I explain?
1518
01:19:48,480 --> 01:19:50,153
My lord...
1519
01:19:57,520 --> 01:19:59,476
My beloved Marie.
1520
01:19:59,560 --> 01:20:01,516
My only true love.
1521
01:20:01,600 --> 01:20:03,909
Bear up. All is not lost.
1522
01:20:04,000 --> 01:20:05,956
She may yet be found alive.
1523
01:20:06,040 --> 01:20:08,269
I hope not... er,
hope all is not lost.
1524
01:20:08,360 --> 01:20:10,315
I cannot bear the...
1525
01:20:10,399 --> 01:20:12,635
thought of never holding
that lissom form
1526
01:20:12,636 --> 01:20:14,870
in my arms again. Oh,
the enormity of it.
1527
01:20:14,959 --> 01:20:16,915
She was a bit on the
large side, Gracey.
1528
01:20:16,999 --> 01:20:19,910
But I loved her, Fanny.
Every little acre of her.
1529
01:20:19,998 --> 01:20:21,954
I know how you feel.
1530
01:20:22,038 --> 01:20:25,235
I only recently lost my
last queen, you know.
1531
01:20:25,318 --> 01:20:27,913
- Oh, I didn't know. How?
- It was quite sudden.
1532
01:20:28,959 --> 01:20:32,234
She... caught her neck
in ze guillotine.
1533
01:20:32,678 --> 01:20:35,351
- Her Majesty, Queen Marie.
- What?
1534
01:20:40,158 --> 01:20:41,352
Marie.
1535
01:20:41,438 --> 01:20:44,395
Oh, dear cousin.
1536
01:20:46,678 --> 01:20:48,168
Welcome, Francis.
1537
01:20:48,169 --> 01:20:51,069
What a joy to see you safe and...
1538
01:20:51,158 --> 01:20:52,158
Well.
1539
01:20:52,159 --> 01:20:53,433
Thanks only to Lord Hampton here.
1540
01:20:53,518 --> 01:20:55,420
My love. My own
true love, I cannot
1541
01:20:55,421 --> 01:20:56,953
tell you how delighted I am.
1542
01:20:57,037 --> 01:20:58,758
You may not be so
delighted once you
1543
01:20:58,759 --> 01:21:00,666
have heard what Lord
Hampton has to say.
1544
01:21:00,757 --> 01:21:02,381
Sire, it is my painful duty...
1545
01:21:02,382 --> 01:21:04,512
No, no. No apologies,
my dear Hampton.
1546
01:21:04,598 --> 01:21:06,582
It is enough that
you have delivered
1547
01:21:06,583 --> 01:21:08,351
my dear Queen safely back to me.
1548
01:21:08,437 --> 01:21:10,535
I do not think you
can understand...
1549
01:21:10,536 --> 01:21:12,794
And your grateful
King will reward you.
1550
01:21:12,877 --> 01:21:14,106
I know you're a poor man.
1551
01:21:14,107 --> 01:21:15,789
Yes. But actually, I came here...
1552
01:21:15,877 --> 01:21:18,754
No, no modesty, my dear
Hampton. Give me your sword.
1553
01:21:21,556 --> 01:21:23,513
Kneel.
1554
01:21:24,557 --> 01:21:27,435
Hampton of Wick, we
do herewith dub you
1555
01:21:27,517 --> 01:21:30,350
Lord of the Duchy of Berkshire.
1556
01:21:30,437 --> 01:21:33,667
Arise, Hampton, Prince of Berks.
1557
01:21:37,756 --> 01:21:40,270
Sire, I am sensible
to the honour but...
1558
01:21:40,357 --> 01:21:44,429
And the 10,000 crowns a
year that go with it.
1559
01:21:44,516 --> 01:21:46,586
I am your most loyal
servant, Your Majesty.
1560
01:21:46,676 --> 01:21:49,907
You'd better be. You now have
our permission to withdraw.
1561
01:21:51,276 --> 01:21:53,232
Lord Hampton.
1562
01:21:53,316 --> 01:21:55,590
Have you forgotten the
purpose of your coming?
1563
01:21:55,675 --> 01:21:58,712
I am sorry, madam, but I must
live up to my family motto:
1564
01:21:58,796 --> 01:22:01,913
"Non fartum contra tornaetrum,"
1565
01:22:01,996 --> 01:22:06,228
which unhappily means "Fight
not against thunder."
1566
01:22:10,875 --> 01:22:12,460
Well, I'm glad that's all settled.
1567
01:22:12,461 --> 01:22:14,185
Now I must take you
up to bye-byes.
1568
01:22:14,275 --> 01:22:16,231
Oh, no, you don't, Henry Tudor.
1569
01:22:16,315 --> 01:22:19,546
I am not yet finished with you
or that puny little Hampton.
1570
01:22:19,635 --> 01:22:22,672
Now, steady, love. Not in
front of the visitors.
1571
01:22:22,755 --> 01:22:25,872
You may have been able to
silence him. But not me.
1572
01:22:25,955 --> 01:22:27,911
Cousin Francis, I must tell you...
1573
01:22:27,995 --> 01:22:29,667
Sire. Sire.
1574
01:22:29,755 --> 01:22:31,710
Sire, I have it.
1575
01:22:31,794 --> 01:22:34,752
Look, the confession. All signed.
1576
01:22:34,834 --> 01:22:36,691
What confession? What do you mean?
1577
01:22:36,692 --> 01:22:38,748
Sir Roger's confession
of paternity...
1578
01:22:39,955 --> 01:22:43,503
Oh. Yes, well, perhaps
some other time.
1579
01:22:43,594 --> 01:22:45,550
Just a minute. Let me see that.
1580
01:22:45,634 --> 01:22:48,785
So it's you that's been
fermenting this dastardly lie.
1581
01:22:48,874 --> 01:22:50,102
Yes... What?
1582
01:22:50,194 --> 01:22:52,024
Do you think I would
have believed it
1583
01:22:52,025 --> 01:22:53,903
possible of such a
loving wife as she?
1584
01:22:53,963 --> 01:22:54,963
But I thought...
1585
01:22:54,964 --> 01:22:57,543
This is what I think of
your base treachery.
1586
01:22:57,634 --> 01:22:58,634
No.
1587
01:22:58,635 --> 01:23:00,671
And you will go the way
of all traitors. Guards.
1588
01:23:00,754 --> 01:23:02,795
But I have done
your bidding, sire.
1589
01:23:02,796 --> 01:23:04,030
Quiet. To the Tower.
1590
01:23:04,114 --> 01:23:07,106
The Tower. Not the Tower.
Anything but the Tower.
1591
01:23:07,193 --> 01:23:09,832
Oh, I beseech you from my bowels.
1592
01:23:09,913 --> 01:23:11,551
Oh, hear. Hear.
1593
01:23:11,633 --> 01:23:14,546
Would you credit it? My
own Lord Chancellor.
1594
01:23:14,634 --> 01:23:16,784
I tell you, you cannot
trust anyone these days.
1595
01:23:16,874 --> 01:23:18,830
How very true.
1596
01:23:18,914 --> 01:23:21,950
And now, Marie, what were
you about to tell me, huh?
1597
01:23:22,033 --> 01:23:23,989
Only that...
1598
01:23:25,033 --> 01:23:28,946
Henry has been a most
loving and devoted husband
1599
01:23:29,033 --> 01:23:32,662
and will, I am certain, continue
to be so for the rest of our days.
1600
01:23:32,753 --> 01:23:35,221
- Right, dear?
- Yes, dear. Of course, dear.
1601
01:23:35,313 --> 01:23:37,823
And will renounce
all other seasoning
1602
01:23:37,824 --> 01:23:40,068
and convert to the garlic? Right?
1603
01:23:40,153 --> 01:23:41,188
Naturally.
1604
01:23:41,273 --> 01:23:44,582
In that case, I can return
to France reassured.
1605
01:23:44,672 --> 01:23:46,604
Good. Don't think
that I'm not grateful
1606
01:23:46,605 --> 01:23:48,585
for the concern you
showed my dear wife.
1607
01:23:48,672 --> 01:23:50,774
If there's anything
I can do in return?
1608
01:23:50,775 --> 01:23:52,825
Oh, no, no... Yes.
There is something.
1609
01:23:52,913 --> 01:23:56,791
- Name it. She'll be yours.
- Er, Marie has a lady-in-waiting,
1610
01:23:56,872 --> 01:24:00,467
Mistress Bettina, who
has held my fancy.
1611
01:24:00,552 --> 01:24:04,022
- Er, no, no...
- But of course you may have her.
1612
01:24:04,112 --> 01:24:06,068
She would make an excellent queen.
1613
01:24:06,152 --> 01:24:08,108
Do you not think so, Henry?
1614
01:24:08,192 --> 01:24:11,309
Oh, no, not her. Not for a
great king like Francis.
1615
01:24:11,392 --> 01:24:13,348
Do you not think so, Henry?
1616
01:24:13,432 --> 01:24:15,582
Yes, dear. Wonderful.
1617
01:24:28,111 --> 01:24:29,988
Well, goodbye, Bet.
1618
01:24:30,071 --> 01:24:34,780
Bye, Henry. Oh, isn't it
exciting? Me, Queen of France.
1619
01:24:34,870 --> 01:24:36,462
Yes, innit?
1620
01:24:36,550 --> 01:24:38,841
What a good job you
found out we weren't
1621
01:24:38,842 --> 01:24:41,021
really married before
we did anything.
1622
01:24:41,110 --> 01:24:42,225
Yes, wasn't it?
1623
01:24:44,870 --> 01:24:46,019
On avance.
1624
01:24:55,789 --> 01:24:57,087
What I do for England.
1625
01:24:57,088 --> 01:24:59,304
Your Majesty, the
Queen is in labour.
1626
01:24:59,389 --> 01:25:01,539
Don't worry, they'll
never get back in.
1627
01:25:01,629 --> 01:25:04,019
No, no, no, in child labour, sire.
1628
01:25:05,390 --> 01:25:07,346
Blimey.
1629
01:25:13,029 --> 01:25:15,827
Where is he? I must see the
little b... er, fella.
1630
01:25:26,469 --> 01:25:28,380
My son.
1631
01:25:28,469 --> 01:25:30,107
The image of you, dear.
1632
01:25:30,189 --> 01:25:32,144
Dear wife,
1633
01:25:32,228 --> 01:25:34,184
I am eternally grateful to you.
1634
01:25:34,268 --> 01:25:36,423
To show my gratitude,
I shall devote the
1635
01:25:36,424 --> 01:25:38,420
rest of my life to
you and you alone.
1636
01:25:52,108 --> 01:25:55,225
- Who's that?
- The new lady-in-waiting, sire.
1637
01:25:55,308 --> 01:25:57,502
Her name is Catherine Howard.
1638
01:25:59,708 --> 01:26:01,591
What do you mean,
it's all my fault?
1639
01:26:01,592 --> 01:26:03,667
Well, you arranged the
match with Marie.
1640
01:26:03,748 --> 01:26:06,546
- Rubbish. It was all your idea.
- It wasn't.
1641
01:26:06,628 --> 01:26:07,947
- It was.
- Liar.
1642
01:26:08,028 --> 01:26:09,028
Hypocrite.
1643
01:26:09,947 --> 01:26:12,541
Stop. Stay the execution.
1644
01:26:12,627 --> 01:26:15,266
What? Are we pardoned, sire?
1645
01:26:15,347 --> 01:26:17,543
Yes, I have urgent
need of your services.
1646
01:26:17,628 --> 01:26:20,824
Oh, well, I shall only be too
happy to serve Your Majesty.
1647
01:26:20,907 --> 01:26:24,297
Me, too, sire. You've
only to command.
1648
01:26:24,387 --> 01:26:26,218
I want an immediate divorce.
1649
01:26:26,307 --> 01:26:28,263
- Yes...
- What?
1650
01:26:28,347 --> 01:26:30,303
Carry on, executioner.
1651
01:26:30,387 --> 01:26:32,616
Carry on.
126231
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