Original subtitles

So how is your divorce going?

Pretty great.

Yeah? We made it 10 years. I get alimony. I get half the company. I'm

to the cleaners. It's great.

Nice, nice.

But are you, like, are you happy? You're good?

You know what? I got them in rotation.

But, like, you had a really small dick like that.

Ugh.

Yeah, it's kind of hard to get inspired to draw, you know, a man's body when you

don't really have a good reference.

Especially after, God, you're friggin'

dumb. Like, dude, his dick was so small and, like, I don't have any reference of

drawing, like, a male body part, but I want to show you what my ideal size is

a dick.

Yeah.

I'm curious.

I'm spending all these money for these fucking art classes, and I still can't

draw anything. I know.

I know. I'm having the same problem.

I don't know. Like, writing, like, drawing, like, a man's body with no,

like, reference, without seeing one is so hard.

I don't know.

Oh, that's a thick one right there.

Girl, girl, girl.

I hear you. That's something that Dom didn't have. I don't know. I prefer mine

little less than that, I think.

Because, you know, I'm really tiny, so.

I like it, you know, like, I'm always getting, like, stuffed with the mango

dick. You know what I mean? Oh, wow.

I like the mango dick. Not the avocado dick. No. The mango dick.

I don't know. I think I'm good with how my man and I'm doing.

Maybe. I don't know.

It's a good thing to think about what's, like, my perfect size.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, I feel like we need some help.

I know. I'm stuck. Like, what the fuck is that? I still haven't done, like, you

know, nothing.

What is that? It's just so hard.

What is that?

That's what she said.

Well, it's definitely a good experience for someone that's going through a

divorce, so that's great.

Girl, if I wasn't getting as much money as I was, I'd be going through

like 10 tissue boxes every day.

I hear you.

Yeah, that definitely makes life a little better, knowing that you're going

be taken care of, you know?

I think we do have to, like, draw a naked body, though.

We might as well finish, right?

I definitely should have took the cooking classes, but I can't draw to

life. Oh, they're taking so long.

Oh, I hope they get caught.

Oh, come on.

You got it?

Yeah. All right. All right.

You sure they didn't notice?

No, no, they didn't notice.

Dude, they're too busy distracting their art.

I don't know why they're bothered.

Terrible at it. I know.

Every time she sells it, she's so excited. And it's like, dude, I can do

than that. So you ever have a toddler come up to you with this drawing? Yeah.

They're like, oh,

yeah, that's really good.

But it's really not. It's like, dude, if you try, you might be good at it.

Yeah.

Fuck, where is it?

Fuck, where is it, bro?

Fuck, yeah. It's crazy.

Oh, my God.

Damn, shit's hot.

We're not going to look at that one. We're going to watch this bitch right

Oh, yeah.

Bro, let me see your phone. Just for a second.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, now go. Get out.

Get out. Just don't judge me, bro. Don't judge me. That's my fucking phone.

Clean it up. Go.

Clean it up. What the fuck?

Maybe I should take that, too, because I'm not really a good cook. I don't

See, I'm a good cook.

I just, like, I can't, like, bake. Every time I do cookies, it's just, like,

like, saucers that are super hard.

Yeah.

And they're, like, little saucers and stuff. I don't know, because it's got,

like, some colored shoes.

It's got some colored shoes.

Yeah.

No, I don't really like my drawing, to be honest.

I have no idea what I'm doing. I feel like even though I went to the class, it

feels like I didn't.

Like I have no idea what I'm doing here.

So hard.

Don't feel bad. I can't draw.

Oh, yeah, that's pretty bad.

I haven't.

Now I put pants on my guy, so how the hell do I put the dick? I don't know.

His dick's so big it won't fit in there.

I'm doing the opposite of what my ex had.

It just looks so little.

His is a big dick.

I'm dying.

It's so funny.

Yeah, I think we're pretty bad at it.

I need some, I don't know.

We need some help in here.

This is not coming up for me. Oh, you know what? Let's throw in a little

football. It's football season.

Oh, Jesus.

Yeah, I don't know what to talk about. And they finished the draft, too.

For my team, they finished the draft. I'm pretty stoked.

Yeah.

Yeah, they're a little football right there.

Booze ball.

I'm, like, I'm not looking forward to it. I'm not really inspired, I guess.

That's what it is.

I don't know. I kind of feel like I needed, like, a male model that could

stand here and I could just, like, look at it and try to, you know, draw.

I feel like, I don't know.

You need to frustrate it.

I need a break.

Okay. I'll see you in a minute.

Okay.

It's so hard.

Oh, shit.

Damn.

It only seems like half of this is being on point.

Holy shit.

How fat is that?

Don't tell my mom. It's not a card.

Is that a card?

No, that's not a credit card.

It says her name right here.

I don't know. I don't know how that got there.

She wasn't in here?

No.

What? What's that?

Hmm. Let me see.

Ooh.

Hmm.

Says the guy getting caught jerking off on the phone with a stolen debit card.

And a stolen phone.

Sorry. Jimmy!

Well, I guess you're going to have to...

Get Nicky involved so he doesn't get grounded.

Uh, okay.

Can you just go, Helen? Let me get a decent hangin'. Pull your pants up, get

yourself ready, and go get my steps on.

Why would it be weird? I mean, we do need, like, a naked body. What?

I'm sorry. I'm not going to get naked. It's really not a big deal.

Like, we've seen you guys naked. We raised you guys.

We need to give you guys back.

Come on. We were five.

We're grown men now. I know, but it's just for us to draw. Like, we really

this. Come on, Jimmy. Like, I need a model. Look how horrible this looks.

This is all from imagination.

That's true. Some imagination you got there, mom.

That was good.

I mean, you know.

I don't know. I'm not, I'm not, I don't want to get naked for this.

Don't be such a prude.

That's too far.

Yeah.

We're going to have to come up with something other than that. Something

than that. I mean, maybe, maybe, maybe you guys can just like do it like

and we can try to make it work. Yeah, use your imagination of us not wearing

clothes. How about something like that?

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, so why don't you guys just get up and we can get that started. Let's go.

Come on, come on, Jimmy. Come on.

Whatever.

You shouldn't be listening.

Wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I don't want my own mom to imagine me naked.

I mean, does that make you feel?

Obviously a little uncomfortable.

Okay, you two switch. Come on. Does that sound a little better?

That is so much better. Better? Okay. Feel more comfortable?

Yeah. Not really. Okay.

Really? Not really?

Hmm.

Okay.

Okay.

I guess we can try to finish the drawing.

Maybe if you guys... Okay.

Let's just... Turn around. That's okay. Yeah. Very good.

It's not a big deal. We just really want to pass this class.

You know, don't have much going on, guys.

I've got to draw something better than that.

Yeah, my thing. We thought I'd do it. Okay, just do it.

Okay.

Oh, gosh.

I can't do this with the polos. We're supposed to be drawing naked male

Imagine naked male models. Yeah, just come on. Work with us. Let's just try

a bit.

Yeah,

it's kind of hard to.

Yeah.

It's like figuring out proportions and stuff like that.

It's kind of hard, guys.

No,

we're not even.

This is really hard.

You guys are completely dressed. We're supposed to draw a naked man.

Like, how can we have that much imagination?

I mean, maybe they should lose their shirt. No, come on. I don't want to take

shirt off.

And I don't want to do a lot of things either, but, you know, you got to do

you got to do.

Come on, Jimmy. It's not a big deal. Like, do this for your mom, please.

No, no, no.

No. It's not a big deal.

Just a shirt.

Come on.

You guys go to the pool without a shirt. It's not a big deal.

Come on.

See? Jimmy did it. See? It's not a big deal.

It's not a big deal.

I remember that time. Seriously?

You go to the pool all the time and I see you without a shirt. I don't

understand my problem, Jimmy.

Do you want me to call your mom?

Tell me why.

Nothing. Don't worry about it.

Oh my gosh, you guys are so weird.

If this was such a big deal, I would have told you. You know, it's not a big

deal. I hope so.

It's kids feet.

I don't know.

I don't know how we try to do it. Like, turn a little.

Definitely. Turn towards us. Yeah, just, yeah. Turn this way. There you go.

Okay, perfect. Go.

There it is. Oh, we'll stick around the room.

All right.

Okay. Let's see. That's weird.

right?

Alright, looking good.

Man, Jimmy, you got some big nipples.

But I don't like them.

We gotta do something about them pants.

I ain't getting naked in front of my stepmom. I'm not getting naked in front

my stepmom either.

Are you crazy?

I fed you.

I clothed you.

Mom, are you kidding me though? I took you to school.

For college, lose the pants, boy.

This is so much different, though.

You're literally our mom.

You gotta lose the pants. We gotta pass the class.

I'm saying, no. We're not gonna take the pants off. That's crazy.

Guys, please. We really wanna pass the class.

Jimmy, please do this for your mom. Yeah, come on, Jimmy. Do you wanna get

thrown under the bus? They're our moms.

Do you wanna get thrown under the bus, Jimmy?

I would love it to throw him under a bus.

I would love it to throw him under the bus.

don't take their pants off.

For sure.

I don't want to take my dick out in front of Nikki.

I don't want to take my dick out in front of you.

Fuck you. You guys grew up together.

You guys saw each other naked when you guys were kids. No, we haven't. You guys

go to the same school, go to the same bathroom all the time whenever it's

probably 2006.

Of course not.

Don't look at the guy next to you in your urinal. No, you take a piss and you

look forward. Forward.

That's it. That's it. That's the rule. That's the fucking code.

You don't want to get thrown underneath the bus now, do you, Jimmy?

I mean, you guys play sports together.

You know, you guys are in the locker room. Literally. Yeah, you don't look

man. I don't think that's true.

So you do that when you slap each other's butts, right?

I don't slap ass, okay?

And I ain't looking at no dick.

And I'm not showing my dick.

That is bullshit, and take off your pants right now, mister.

Mom. Do as I say.

Come on, Jimmy.

It's really not a big deal. You're just helping us pass a class.

Literally.

I'm your mom.

It's not a big deal.

You guys are acting weird.

You guys gotta... You know,

you guys are acting weird.

We're just gonna have to do this ourselves.

Because they just don't listen.

No. No.

Stop it.

Just do it. I'll tell your mom.

I'll tell your mom.

Oh, wow.

Oh,

wow. Jimmy.

Is your husband's dick big?

Actually, he's bigger than my husband.

Oh, wow.

Your daddy has a little pee -pee.

Yeah, we're talking about that.

Don't be looking at my dick.

Why are you talking to me?

Okay, we're not going to. Let's not look at.

Yeah, don't look at our dick. To make them a little more comfortable, I guess.

All right, guys.

What is it?

Well, what happened?

That's why you guys are acting weird? Did something happen, right?

No, nothing happened. Jimmy left a book over at the house and everything, and I

threw it away.

What? What book?

No,

I think you're lying to me.

No. You're making that up. I know when you're lying. You always raise your

eyebrows when you're lying. You're my best friend. I'm not lying.

Yes, you are.

Oh God, okay.

Definitely way easier.

Oh shit, I just gave him a rocket ship dick.

Oh God.

This is definitely it.

I mean, I think that's an improvement.

Oh, definitely.

That's an improvement.

That's super weird to see you drawing that mom.

And I'm like, that's better from that.

Yeah. Like, that's better than that.

I'm almost done. I'm almost done, guys.

I'm almost done.

I'm almost done with the drawing. You got a little V there.

We still got to do the culture, though.

Oh, he got some, like, hair.

Drawing the...

on the belly button. Please.

He has a little patch there too.

Having it out and making it so fucking weird.

Why are you being so detailed about it?

Because that's what class is about, Jimmy.

Oh my god.

Don't make it so complicated.

It shouldn't be.

No, they're perfect. That helps you get done faster.

I don't look anything like that.

Yes, you do.

Maybe you're thinking too highly of yourself, sir.

This kid, this kid, I can't.

Are you going to criticize our partner?

No, no. We're not done yet.

Okay, I feel like there's something missing, like something's not really

that well.

Yeah, there's thoughts.

We're sitting here in front of our moms. What do you think? I'm right here next

to my best friend.

What do you think?

Maybe.

What?

What are you talking about? I don't know.

Yeah? Yeah.

Okay.

Well,

if you guys are not going to...

cooperate, we're just going to have too many guys hard.

What? No,

that's weird. That's not okay. Even my son.

It's fine. Even my son.

It's right next to my boy here. Don't look at each other.

Don't look at each other.

I'm not. I'm not looking at your dick, Jimmy.

It's fine.

Oh, my God.

Mom. We just need a heart.

Just relax.

It's fine.

Or if somebody gets thrown under the bus, it doesn't seem like it's really

working. Like, you know, maybe, you know, what

makes boys hard, right?

Yeah.

What are you guys doing?

Literally. Look at that.

Don't be fucking weird.

I know. I remember you walking out of your bedroom with that wood in the

morning. He got the wood.

It's your me.

Mom does have some IT.

Dude. What the fuck?

I'm sorry.

It's true.

See, now it's way better.

Getting way better now. Oh, God.

It's okay, Mickey. It's okay.

They're nice.

There you go.

Oh, look at you, Jimmy.

Yeah, Jimmy's like... It

does feel good. Definitely working.

Oh, God.

Oh, God, you're making me feel really good.

Fuck. Wow.

We kind of want you guys to be really hard, so maybe that's a good thing.

It's just really weird.

Don't. Just relax.

It's okay.

You know it's not okay.

Dude, stop looking at my dick.

I'm not looking at your dick.

Don't fucking do it. I'm looking at your mom's dick.

That's not better.

Nikki, I want him to look at my tits, okay? It's for the love of art.

Oh, my God.

Seriously. Come on, guys. It's just bodies.

You're just not cute.

Do what I say.

We're already here. It's okay.

It does feel good, doesn't it?

Yeah, but the better it feels, the weirder it feels to me. Just let it go.

Look up.

Don't look at her tits. Don't look at my dick.

Don't even look at your dick. Don't look at your mom's hand on your dick. Look

at my dick.

Let him do whatever.

Okay? What do I do?

Just look at the tits. Don't look at him.

Yeah, you can look at mine too.

Yeah, just look at my mom's tits, bro. Don't think about it. How are you okay

with this?

You know, we're kind of trapped.

Whoa!

I just think it means shine.

Look at me. I don't really have oils.

It's kind of a clever idea, I guess. It needs shine. What?

Yeah,

that would look way better.

Wow.

Holy shit. Holy shit. Fuck.

Oh, wow. That feels really good, actually.

Yeah.

So this is art, huh? Yeah.

I like art.

Jesus,

Mom, calm down.

Trying to give it some shine, right? Yeah, you're definitely really touching.

You're fucking having a goddamn buffet over there. Quiet, you.

Oh, shit.

Oh, my God. Oh,

my God.

It's supposed to help, but it's hard.

Quiet, child.

I think Jimmy is looking pretty. He's standing tall and shiny.

The balls are in perfect place.

Look at the balls. The balls are good.

I know.

I wasn't noticing that. Look at the ball.

I haven't seen your dick so many times. Come on.

You're not a big deal.

You're bigger now.

Don't talk about my ball. Quiet, child.

Don't talk about it.

Oh my god, just drawing a picture is super awkward. Just draw already or

something. It feels good, but it's like torture.

Okay. I think it's pretty shiny and ready for... Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I

it's fun. Let me try drawing him again.

Yeah. I got pencils ready here.

Oh, sorry.

Do you need a black one?

I need a black one.

Oh, no.

I was just real purple because now they have kind of like purple balls.

All right, let's see. We're going to do side profile then.

Yeah.

Oh, that's nice.

The ear.

Okay.

It's getting way better. I think it's getting better.

Let's see. Now I put the hair down like that.

And the ear like that.

You know what?

This is just... This is not working for you. This is not working for me. It's

not working for me either.

But, like... You gave us such a small day.

I know. I'm just really not good at drawing.

Yeah, that's probably a better idea.

Let's try that.

You don't look like this.

You look like you have a hump in your back.

It doesn't make a difference.

Look at that.

Why don't you just start over?

What is that?

Exactly, I need to start over because I'm working and I'm not looking really

good.

For this art class, we need to make a clay sculpture.

But, like,

how are we going to keep them hard without the clay part?

I mean, they got hard when we took our tops off, you know what I mean?

Yeah, but, you know, it wasn't hard for too long.

You know, they're boys. They get bored.

Why don't we take off our pants, maybe? That might help.

Oh my God, now they're going to take that chance. You guys are already naked.

Mom, you don't need to do all that. You don't get to already naked.

Mom.

Mom.

Hey.

I kind of figured, you know, been working out with your mom a lot, so.

Jiggle, jiggle, jiggle, jiggle. Oh, come on, Mom.

Oh, my God.

Tickle, tickle. Oh, come on. It'll work for you guys. It's okay, guys.

It'll work for you guys.

So what now?

Maybe... Jiggle, wiggle.

Jiggle, wiggle, wiggle.

Can we stop?

Can we get this over with? Okay, let's look into the... I kind of want to do...

I don't know. I like this color.

But I'm not going to do a shirt, so... We're probably just going to need to

some of these.

What do you want us to do?

Yeah. Why don't you put it between the thighs and, like, keep it, like... So

fucking weird.

But... The butt.

Yeah. No.

The butt.

The butt.

Okay. Okay.

We're going to have to do it. We're going to have to do it. Do you know the

colors you want for that?

Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Very nice.

Right? Yeah. Wow.

Okay.

See?

It's not that bad, right? It's not bad at all.

Jimmy's a little red right now, but...

Yeah, do that hard. At least grab my hips, boy.

He's not that bad, guys.

Yeah.

Do you feel your dick getting hard again?

Yeah.

See, mommy knows best.

You guys would be such horrible sons if you guys didn't listen.

Yeah, sometimes we need some help, so, you know.

Your jokes are the best.

Hello.

I see you down there. Yeah.

I have really nice dicks. I'm happy that we're drawing it and making turns

colder.

Let me hear that smack, smack, Nicola.

There you go.

You guys are such great friends for helping us pass our project.

I'm so happy that you guys are doing this for us.

We wouldn't be able to do it without him, right?

No, not at all. Not at all.

Join the ride, sister.

Really? I guess you should do the same with Jimmy then. I don't know. Come on.

Let's do our culture.

Okay. Okay.

Okay. Yeah. Let's get. Yeah.

You know.

Come on.

What are you guys waiting for?

You know. Have fun. Have fun. We're going to do the culture thing.

We need you guys hard.

It does feel nice.

Yeah.

I'm going to make a bigger one now.

Oh, God.

So he kind of, like, looks like me because he definitely has a nice cough.

Oh, my God.

Yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh my gosh,

look how

my

son is happy.

Touchdown. Just keep doing what you're doing. Mom, stop looking at me.

Like, look what you're doing.

Look what you're doing, Jimmy.

Why can't I look? Why are you looking this weird?

Oh, my God.

Why do you give me so much?

Oh, God.

Maybe it's your petition.

What are you doing?

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Oh yes.

Yeah, throwback.

in the cabbage.

Return.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't see it.

It's kind of too close to my face, you know, to me.

Sorry, but it's kind of in my face.

Sorry.

Oh, fuck.

Oh,

fuck. Oh, shit.

You're touching my dick.

I'm trying to put it back to you.

Oh, my God, I didn't know it was yours. Come on, son.

There you go. That's a good time.

You're doing such a good job, Nikki.

Really? Yeah.

Make Mommy proud.

Okay. Yeah, fuck her.

Yeah, give her that good dick.

Give it to her better than your daddy ever gave it to me.

Isn't your mom?

Shut up, child. What?

What's going on? It is what it is.

I guess we've gone this far.

Hey, Jay.

You don't judge me, I'll judge you.

Cool? Don't ask, don't tell.

Oh, that's a lot better.

Oh, yeah. It was so much deeper.

Oh, yes.

You definitely make mommy's proud.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, yeah.

Mom,

you're going to need to calm down.

Oh, fuck.

You don't think mommy's supposed to be able to feel this good?

I want to eat that pussy.

Yeah.

Doesn't your mouth feel so good?

Yeah.

My fucking mommy's pussy.

Oh, shit.

No.

Yeah, it's so hot.

Yeah.

Even for views.

Oh my god!

Um...

You did such a good job.

Mommy's so proud of you, Jimmy.

Mommy's so proud of you. It tastes so good.

Oh,

we finished our sculptures. Let's show them.

the class now, right?

Yeah.

It looks good.

Really? Thank you.

Like, so good. Like, literally, it looks just like you. That's the thing?

Yeah, Mom. It looks just like me. Like, seriously?

I would give it to you.

That's a good representation of your dick. Look how big it is.

Yeah.

Aren't you proud of Mommy?

Yeah, you're gonna...

Yeah. I think it's great. It looks great.

Perfect. I love it.