Original subtitles

Smurfette, can you grab me the wrench on that rack behind you, please?

The what?

The wrench.

What, if you can't smurf it, you're not interested in it?

What are you smurfing about, Brainy?

On the rack behind you.

There's a silver instrument.

It looks like it has a mouth on the end.

It kind of looks like the letter C. You do know what a C looks like, don't you?

Brainy, I'm afraid Smurfette doesn't understand the nuances of tools.

Brainy always calls me a nuanced Papa Smurf.

That's because you are one, dear.

Now, my Smurfs, show me what you've been working on.

I just invented a super Smurfy teleportation device, Papa.

That way if Gargamel tries to catch us, all we have to do, we just flip this

lever and pow, zap, we're somewhere else.

It's brilliant.

When we teleport, how do we get back?

That's easy, Papa.

I made this recall remote. All we have to do is push the red button and pow,

zap. We're right back where we started.

It's perfect.

When we smurf, where do we teleport to?

I don't know, Papa, but I'm sure it's smurfy. I mean, I invented it, so it's

to be perfect.

I don't know, Brainy. It sounds dangerous to me.

We could end up in the dungeons of Castle Castor, or we could be at the

of the sea.

No way, Papa.

This is my invention.

It'll take us someplace smurfy, I promise. Watch.

What have you done?

I'm thinking about maybe getting a chihuahua or something small to put in

purse and carry around with me.

Well, I don't know. Where else am I going to get a little creature that I

carry around with me?

I've got to go.

You three will look great.

Okay, now Mommy has to go to work. You three be really good. And when I get

back, I'll take you to the toy store and we'll get you some cute little outfits,

okay?

Okay, now you three be good.

Hello.

Hello. Oh, no.

It's Evan.

He's going to see them. He's going to want them for his own.

Hello.

Oh, can I help you, Mr. Stone? Yeah, I'm here to pick up the equipment. Tyler

called.

Um, I didn't receive the call.

Tyler didn't call you.

No. Well, that's all right. I'm just going to go in the equipment room and

grab the camera. Yeah, no, no, no. No.

No. I can go get it for you. No problem.

Oh, okay. Okay.

Well, you know exactly the camera I want. Yeah.

It's probably the only one in there. I'll figure it out.

Sweetie, it's okay. You know what?

I'll get the camera myself.

Really, I got it.

No, no, no, no. No, Evan.

I have a confession to make.

I...

have a fantasy about you bending me over my desk.

Yeah. Gets me at work, baby.

I've not, um, just, I've just, please, make my fantasy a dream.

I'm going to go shoot a movie. Don't worry about it.

Oh, Christ, what the hell?

I still have a sheet of movie, girl. Get these clothes off.

Oh, yeah.

I'll

be

a dirty girl.

I'll taste that pussy.

Oh, man.

Oh, fucking good.

Do you smell blue?

So what you're telling me is you forgot the Smurfing recall remote back at the

Smurfing workshop.

How are we supposed to Smurfing get back?

You Smurfing Smurf!

For Smurfing's sake!

Papa Smurf! Language!

He didn't mean to leave it behind. He can build a new one. Right, Brainy? Of

course I can. I'm Brainy Smurf.

Smurf and Brainy.

So... So Smurf and Brainy!

I miss home so much.

I miss my Smurf Jacob's dress.

Ride, my minion!

Ah!

Ah!

You are to go to Brady Smurf's workshop in Smurf Village and use a teleportation

machine to chase the Smurf.

Ah!

Here's the map.

Be sure to grab the control recalls and video on the workbench, or you won't be

able to get back.

And, uh, drop off my dry clean on the way out.

What?

Who are you? I don't know you.

Shut the smurf up. I'm in charge.

Well, hello. I'm Papa Smurf, and welcome to our storage room. Would you care for

a beverage or maybe a deep tissue massage?

Oh, why, thank you, Papa Smurf. I would love a deep tissue massage, but I'd

rather prefer to be rubbed on both ends.

It looks great, Pop Smell.

This is good. This is very good.

Yes, you are.

She's doing it right too.

Oh, my goodness.

My God.

Let me just let him check it out.

I'm swimming.

Well, hello.

Come on over here.

Let me take a look at you.

You're here for the modeling?

Who are you?

I'm the photographer here at Hustler Magazine.

What's Hustler?

Oh, Hustler is where we take beautiful girls like you and make goddesses out of

them. Here, take a look at some of our pictures.

No way. I'm a good smurf.

Oh, all of our girls are good.

And besides, I can pay you a million dollars.

No, thank you.

Oh my gosh, there are two of you?

Oh, look at how beautiful you are.

Tell you what, two of you together, I'll pay you two million dollars.

Who are you?

I'm the only female Smurf.

I'm your cousin.

Conscience? What's that?

Well, I'm what tells you what's good and what's bad.

Oh, like when I almost bought those orange clogs last season and suddenly

stopped myself?

Yeah.

So, why are you here now? To stop me from modeling in this magazine?

Oh, no.

I'm here to tell you that it's a good thing.

It would be a good thing to give the photographer just... A little show.

A show?

Follow my lead.

He's everywhere.

Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm.

It's like yours.

You touch mine and I'm going to touch yours.

Smirk, smirk.

Look at you.

Finger my smurf.

Listen, Rosette, you were born for this.

Wow.

Thank you.

I like it.

It's warm from you.

It feels so good.

Oh my

god.

You're so good.

Are you going to

use your tongue too?

Oh, you're really going to make it.

And the other one.

Yeah. This one?

Yeah.

Feels good.

You want to smurf at the same time with me?

Oh, my delivery.

Where the hell is she?

I knew I shouldn't have used MapQuest.

She's probably wandering around Dream Valley by now.

And now I'm out of coffee.

That's it. I'm going in.

And I'm going to get me a latte on the way.

You don't even need to suck my dick!

ah um

Oh.

Thank you.

Smurfy.

Oh, my little Smurf.

We're going to make so much Smurfing money.