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1
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{\an1}SHE GASPS
2
00:00:11,170 --> 00:00:12,490
Ooh!
3
00:00:12,530 --> 00:00:13,890
{\an1}HOOT!
4
00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:17,490
Argh!
5
00:00:19,210 --> 00:00:21,010
Ah! No! Wah!
6
00:00:26,050 --> 00:00:28,090
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
7
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{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
8
00:00:34,850 --> 00:00:39,290
It is the Series Eight
Taskmaster Grand Final!
9
00:00:39,330 --> 00:00:42,770
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
10
00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:46,290
The wait is over.
At the end of tonight's show,
11
00:00:46,330 --> 00:00:49,210
someone will take home
THIS majestic trophy,
12
00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:51,290
forged from the bones of Adonis,
13
00:00:51,330 --> 00:00:53,170
and go home a champion.
14
00:00:53,210 --> 00:00:55,770
But which of our battle-scarred five
will it be?
15
00:00:55,810 --> 00:00:58,810
Please give them a hero's welcome
for the final time...
16
00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:01,690
Iain Stirling...
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
17
00:01:01,730 --> 00:01:04,130
..Joe Thomas...
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
18
00:01:04,170 --> 00:01:06,650
..Lou Sanders...
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
19
00:01:06,690 --> 00:01:09,290
..Paul Sinha...
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
20
00:01:09,330 --> 00:01:12,250
..and Sian Gibson...
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
21
00:01:13,970 --> 00:01:16,730
And here, you know I love him really,
22
00:01:16,770 --> 00:01:20,850
it's - whoo! - little Alex Horne!
23
00:01:20,890 --> 00:01:23,490
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
24
00:01:23,530 --> 00:01:26,970
Oh, that's very...
Do you genuinely?
25
00:01:27,010 --> 00:01:28,530
No! No.
26
00:01:28,570 --> 00:01:30,810
Thank you. Well, today, Greg,
27
00:01:30,850 --> 00:01:33,130
I'm actually not going to
do any talking -
28
00:01:33,170 --> 00:01:34,690
I'm just going to do this...
29
00:01:37,930 --> 00:01:40,050
{\an1}LAUGHTER
30
00:01:44,050 --> 00:01:46,170
And I'm supposed to
react to that now?
31
00:01:46,210 --> 00:01:48,930
You react however you want, Greg -
I think you like it. Yes.
32
00:01:48,970 --> 00:01:51,850
Well, normally, I would have to
try and find something funny
33
00:01:51,890 --> 00:01:53,730
to say about that
but, on this occasion,
34
00:01:53,770 --> 00:01:55,730
I'm just going to do...
35
00:01:55,770 --> 00:01:57,690
this.
36
00:01:57,730 --> 00:01:59,650
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
37
00:02:04,730 --> 00:02:06,290
{\an1}LAUGHTER
38
00:02:06,330 --> 00:02:08,610
So... Good. We both look pretty.
Thank you.
39
00:02:08,650 --> 00:02:10,810
What have we got for
the final Prize Task, Alex?
40
00:02:10,850 --> 00:02:13,210
They have to bring in
the best thing
41
00:02:13,250 --> 00:02:15,770
that will actually change your life
for the better the most.
42
00:02:15,810 --> 00:02:18,890
So, you will judge
who has brought in the thing
43
00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:21,410
that will actually change your life
for the better the most
44
00:02:21,450 --> 00:02:23,010
and give them
5 golden points for it.
45
00:02:23,050 --> 00:02:25,570
The winner of tonight's episode
will take home all the things
46
00:02:25,610 --> 00:02:28,090
that will actually change your life
for the better the most.
47
00:02:28,130 --> 00:02:31,530
And, hopefully, the things
will actually change their life
48
00:02:31,570 --> 00:02:33,690
for the better the most. OK?
LAUGHTER
49
00:02:33,730 --> 00:02:36,610
So, here we go. Lou Sanders.
50
00:02:36,650 --> 00:02:39,090
How are you going to change my life
for the better the most?
51
00:02:39,130 --> 00:02:43,370
Now, I don't think you're going
to like this one, but...
52
00:02:43,410 --> 00:02:46,970
it's an appointment with
my spiritual healer,
53
00:02:47,010 --> 00:02:49,330
Jill in the Pyrenees.
54
00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:52,570
And she's so magic, honestly,
she can tap into people.
55
00:02:52,610 --> 00:02:55,850
I asked her about you, she said,
"Yeah, great guy, real great guy."
56
00:02:55,890 --> 00:02:59,010
It is a gift voucher for Jill,
a healer in the Pyrenees.
57
00:02:59,050 --> 00:03:00,210
You don't go to the Pyrenees.
58
00:03:00,250 --> 00:03:02,170
Because energy works
through space and time,
59
00:03:02,210 --> 00:03:03,850
obviously - that's science.
Yeah. Yes.
60
00:03:03,890 --> 00:03:06,250
Goes without saying.
So...Jill lives in the Pyrenees,
61
00:03:06,290 --> 00:03:08,810
you just WhatsApp audio-call her.
62
00:03:08,850 --> 00:03:10,890
If it's helped you,
I think that's wonderful.
63
00:03:10,930 --> 00:03:13,210
It really has. But Jill in
the Pyrenees has already said
64
00:03:13,250 --> 00:03:14,930
that she thinks
I'm a really great guy
65
00:03:14,970 --> 00:03:16,650
so I probably don't need any healing.
66
00:03:16,690 --> 00:03:18,930
But it's for one of these idiots.
LAUGHTER
67
00:03:18,970 --> 00:03:21,290
Iain, what have you brought
to change my life?
68
00:03:21,330 --> 00:03:24,050
Oh, I've got the greatest invention
I've ever come across,
69
00:03:24,090 --> 00:03:25,410
and that is a toilet stool.
70
00:03:25,450 --> 00:03:26,930
Here it is.
71
00:03:26,970 --> 00:03:28,730
The squatty toilet stool. Yeah.
72
00:03:28,770 --> 00:03:34,290
Oh, I see. As human beings, we're
meant to squat when we poo, you see,
73
00:03:34,330 --> 00:03:36,290
because that opens the colon up.
74
00:03:36,330 --> 00:03:39,650
Yes, it does. When you sit
at a 90-degree angle...
75
00:03:39,690 --> 00:03:43,130
Yes, yes, it does. It does, yeah.
76
00:03:43,170 --> 00:03:45,570
And Alex will also tell you,
when you sit at 90 degrees,
77
00:03:45,610 --> 00:03:47,090
your colon is kinked.
78
00:03:47,130 --> 00:03:49,850
Well, it doesn't allow your body
to come out of continence mode
79
00:03:49,890 --> 00:03:53,370
and go into elimination mode.
Exactly.
80
00:03:53,410 --> 00:03:57,090
Wait till you get your knees up -
you will eliminate that next shit.
81
00:03:57,130 --> 00:03:59,650
We'll talk more about this
afterwards. Yeah. OK.
82
00:03:59,690 --> 00:04:01,090
Paul.
83
00:04:01,130 --> 00:04:03,970
I went shopping for my mum
on Oxford Street at Christmas,
84
00:04:04,010 --> 00:04:05,610
and I found this item.
85
00:04:05,650 --> 00:04:08,130
And it's so good that
I bought it for my mum,
86
00:04:08,170 --> 00:04:10,130
presented it to her at Christmas
87
00:04:10,170 --> 00:04:12,650
and, on Boxing Day,
went around and stole it.
88
00:04:14,610 --> 00:04:17,210
It's basically
an electronic massage pad
89
00:04:17,250 --> 00:04:19,250
and it absolutely
improves your life.
90
00:04:19,290 --> 00:04:22,370
Cos when you get to my age,
you're sore after doing anything,
91
00:04:22,410 --> 00:04:24,850
after having a poo.
92
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:26,650
If you don't believe how good it is,
93
00:04:26,690 --> 00:04:29,010
Alex is going to demonstrate it
on you now.
94
00:04:29,050 --> 00:04:30,770
Yes, I do have it here. What?!
95
00:04:30,810 --> 00:04:33,770
Yes. There it is. OK.
Do you want to see it in action?
96
00:04:33,810 --> 00:04:36,210
Ooh, ho-ho-ho!
LAUGHTER
97
00:04:36,250 --> 00:04:39,090
The great thing about it is that
it works on any part of your body.
98
00:04:39,130 --> 00:04:42,170
Oh, put it on your bowels. Yeah.
99
00:04:42,210 --> 00:04:44,650
Where are your bowels? Oh, yeah.
100
00:04:47,290 --> 00:04:49,970
{\an1}LAUGHTER
101
00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:52,490
Really nice, Paul.
102
00:04:52,530 --> 00:04:56,250
Sian, are you going to
relax my colon or make me poo?
103
00:04:56,290 --> 00:04:58,530
Funnily enough, yes.
104
00:04:58,570 --> 00:05:01,010
I've brought some pills.
105
00:05:02,170 --> 00:05:04,170
And these aren't just any pills,
106
00:05:04,210 --> 00:05:07,650
these are actually called
Miracle Pills.
107
00:05:07,690 --> 00:05:09,970
OK. I've tried them.
108
00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:13,730
You can eat anything you want
when you've eaten one of these pills
109
00:05:13,770 --> 00:05:16,130
and it will taste really sweet
110
00:05:16,170 --> 00:05:18,690
and like the nicest thing
you've ever ate. It's true.
111
00:05:18,730 --> 00:05:20,370
I literally ate four lemons.
112
00:05:20,410 --> 00:05:21,730
Yeah? Tasted amazing.
113
00:05:21,770 --> 00:05:24,010
Really? They activate
the sweet receptors,
114
00:05:24,050 --> 00:05:25,890
resulting in the perception
of sweet taste.
115
00:05:25,930 --> 00:05:29,930
'They do work. They had to
physically take the lemons off me in
case I had a prolapse or something.
116
00:05:29,970 --> 00:05:32,610
What if I want to eat a lovely
Sunday roast? I don't know.
117
00:05:32,650 --> 00:05:38,370
But I had a massive poo after these.
After them? Yeah.
118
00:05:38,410 --> 00:05:41,290
Have you ever swapped a cow
for some magic beans?
119
00:05:41,330 --> 00:05:44,570
Joe? It's a hair transplant.
120
00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:46,050
Yeah, there we go.
121
00:05:46,090 --> 00:05:48,530
I should say it's singular.
122
00:05:48,570 --> 00:05:50,610
Um...
123
00:05:51,650 --> 00:05:54,490
Have you paid for one hair to be
transplanted? I've loaded one hair.
124
00:05:54,530 --> 00:05:56,410
Yeah, I've loaded one hair
onto the voucher.
125
00:05:56,450 --> 00:05:58,010
{\an1}LOU LAUGHS
126
00:05:59,170 --> 00:06:00,650
Expensive, aren't they?
127
00:06:00,690 --> 00:06:03,010
Well, it's normally about
15 grand for a full head of hair,
128
00:06:03,050 --> 00:06:04,610
so what have you put in there?
129
00:06:04,650 --> 00:06:07,890
It's 100 quid.
That sort of appeals to me. Yeah.
130
00:06:07,930 --> 00:06:11,090
Tell you what I want, is I want
to be able to say at a dinner party,
131
00:06:11,130 --> 00:06:14,210
"I've had a hair transplant."
Yeah. And for them to go, "Really?"
132
00:06:14,250 --> 00:06:17,050
And I'll go, "Yes, but
only THIS hair here."
133
00:06:18,530 --> 00:06:22,450
'Points, then, Greg. It's a final,
so I'm not going to give anyone
1 point - so that's good, isn't it?
134
00:06:22,490 --> 00:06:25,370
That is good, yes. Are you going to
give anyone 2 points? Yes.
135
00:06:25,410 --> 00:06:27,290
Just imagining
I'm eating a lemon now.
136
00:06:27,330 --> 00:06:29,610
{\an1}LAUGHTER
137
00:06:29,650 --> 00:06:31,890
What does it taste like?
138
00:06:31,930 --> 00:06:33,170
Yeah, sweet.
139
00:06:33,210 --> 00:06:34,770
2 points.
140
00:06:34,810 --> 00:06:36,410
2 points to Sian.
141
00:06:36,450 --> 00:06:38,490
3 points to the back-massager.
142
00:06:38,530 --> 00:06:40,650
It was really nice,
I really enjoyed it,
143
00:06:40,690 --> 00:06:42,250
but, honestly, I've got one. OK.
144
00:06:43,210 --> 00:06:46,410
3 points also to
Jill in the Pyrenees. OK.
145
00:06:46,450 --> 00:06:48,410
I mean, unbelievably...
146
00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:52,570
the notion of having one hair
transplanted gets 4 points.
147
00:06:52,610 --> 00:06:54,010
Eh! I just want it.
148
00:06:54,050 --> 00:06:56,890
And 5 points - who doesn't like
a lovely clear-out?
149
00:06:56,930 --> 00:06:58,410
5 points to Iain Stirling!
150
00:06:58,450 --> 00:07:00,170
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
151
00:07:02,490 --> 00:07:04,850
Right, what have we got
to start the final?
152
00:07:04,890 --> 00:07:08,090
Well, if they do the task
correctly, absolutely nothing.
153
00:07:20,130 --> 00:07:22,170
Hiya, mate. Hello, Lou.
154
00:07:22,210 --> 00:07:23,850
'Hiya. You all right?
155
00:07:23,890 --> 00:07:25,290
'Yes. Good stuff.
156
00:07:25,330 --> 00:07:27,450
'An eraser, no less.
157
00:07:27,490 --> 00:07:29,570
This is suspicious.
158
00:07:29,610 --> 00:07:31,610
Little rubber.
I used to collect rubbers.
159
00:07:31,650 --> 00:07:32,650
Why?
160
00:07:33,730 --> 00:07:36,170
It was before
I had, erm, an iPhone.
161
00:07:36,210 --> 00:07:38,290
Oh. One or the other, isn't it?
162
00:07:39,770 --> 00:07:41,330
Here we go.
163
00:07:41,370 --> 00:07:43,090
Completely erase this eraser.
164
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:45,370
The fastest wins.
165
00:07:45,410 --> 00:07:47,490
Your time starts...
166
00:07:47,530 --> 00:07:49,890
Hold on, I'm just thinking.
167
00:07:49,930 --> 00:07:51,850
I can see that.
168
00:07:51,890 --> 00:07:53,450
Your time starts...now.
169
00:07:55,170 --> 00:07:57,250
{\an1}APPLAUSE
170
00:07:59,730 --> 00:08:01,130
No hesitation whatsoever.
171
00:08:01,170 --> 00:08:03,770
No. Because you're
a rubber specialist.
172
00:08:03,810 --> 00:08:05,090
That's what they do.
173
00:08:05,130 --> 00:08:07,570
What has become of
the rubber collection?
174
00:08:07,610 --> 00:08:10,250
It's still there,
it's in a Quality Street tin.
175
00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:11,650
Where?
176
00:08:11,690 --> 00:08:13,250
At my mum's house!
177
00:08:15,530 --> 00:08:18,010
LAUGHTER
She told me she's got 250.
178
00:08:18,050 --> 00:08:20,050
I've never used them
to actually rub.
179
00:08:20,090 --> 00:08:22,730
No. No, God, that would soil them -
we all know what.
180
00:08:25,010 --> 00:08:26,330
Let's see some erasing.
181
00:08:26,370 --> 00:08:27,810
OK, first to rub out
the rubber are -
182
00:08:27,850 --> 00:08:30,690
and there's no easy way
to say this - Joe and Sian.
183
00:08:41,690 --> 00:08:44,730
'Well, I've made two,
and a load of little ones.
184
00:08:44,770 --> 00:08:46,690
Oh, my God...
185
00:08:46,730 --> 00:08:48,610
'I'm going to sweat on here!
186
00:08:48,650 --> 00:08:51,650
{\an8}I'm going to go and, erm,
have a little root around,
187
00:08:51,690 --> 00:08:53,410
{\an8}see if I can find...something.
188
00:08:54,650 --> 00:08:55,810
Erm...
189
00:08:57,410 --> 00:08:58,930
'Right, here we go.
190
00:09:00,130 --> 00:09:01,930
That's a bit more like it, isn't it?
191
00:09:06,010 --> 00:09:07,650
Stand back, everyone.
192
00:09:08,810 --> 00:09:09,970
Here we go!
193
00:09:11,330 --> 00:09:12,330
{\an1}SHE SHRIEKS
194
00:09:21,850 --> 00:09:24,370
That's not even done anything, that.
195
00:09:24,410 --> 00:09:26,650
No, it's still there, isn't it?
196
00:09:33,330 --> 00:09:35,530
{\an1}LAUGHTER
197
00:09:36,970 --> 00:09:39,370
I've erased it.
It's gone, is it? Yep.
198
00:09:45,770 --> 00:09:49,050
Has it gone? It's all gone.
It's gone. Completely gone.
199
00:09:49,090 --> 00:09:50,370
{\an8}No sign of it?
200
00:09:50,410 --> 00:09:54,770
{\an8}I can't see it anywhere, no.
201
00:09:57,090 --> 00:09:59,130
{\an1}APPLAUSE
202
00:10:00,570 --> 00:10:05,290
I mean, unbelievably I really found
myself admiring your technique.
203
00:10:05,330 --> 00:10:07,770
I really thought,
"Yeah, that's good thinking, that,
204
00:10:07,810 --> 00:10:11,210
"getting some sandpaper - that'll
speed up the erasing process." Yes.
205
00:10:11,250 --> 00:10:12,370
Yeah. Yeah. Thank you.
206
00:10:12,410 --> 00:10:14,930
Obviously you used
the classic old-school...
207
00:10:14,970 --> 00:10:16,330
Rubbing? ..eraser technique.
208
00:10:16,370 --> 00:10:18,810
Bored of it and tried
to eviscerate it with fire.
209
00:10:18,850 --> 00:10:21,130
I thought it actually would burn.
210
00:10:21,170 --> 00:10:22,610
No, it didn't burn.
211
00:10:22,650 --> 00:10:26,890
I know it didn't work, because Sian
threw her rubber in a hedge. Yes.
212
00:10:26,930 --> 00:10:28,730
She took 9 minutes and 40 seconds.
213
00:10:28,770 --> 00:10:31,410
We did search for the eraser
afterwards, couldn't find it -
214
00:10:31,450 --> 00:10:32,450
so, it's gone.
215
00:10:32,490 --> 00:10:35,770
Come on - it's not been erased,
it's been chucked in a hedge.
216
00:10:35,810 --> 00:10:39,090
Joe took the same amount of time
it takes me to fully clean you -
217
00:10:39,130 --> 00:10:41,490
19 minutes 32 seconds.
218
00:10:42,570 --> 00:10:44,490
Quite a while.
Let's see another one.
219
00:10:44,530 --> 00:10:46,850
Yes, next up, two fellas.
220
00:10:46,890 --> 00:10:49,410
An ITV1-er and an ITV2-er.
221
00:10:49,450 --> 00:10:51,330
It's Paul and Iain.
222
00:10:51,370 --> 00:10:53,290
'Completely erase this erase.
223
00:10:53,330 --> 00:10:55,130
Your time starts...now.
224
00:11:04,810 --> 00:11:07,250
You tell me when
it's completely erased.
225
00:11:07,290 --> 00:11:08,810
I don't know if this will help.
226
00:11:15,810 --> 00:11:17,250
{\an1}TOILET FLUSHES
227
00:11:19,010 --> 00:11:20,250
{\an1}TOILET FLUSHES
228
00:11:22,090 --> 00:11:24,410
Done! Completely erased?
229
00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:25,450
Yeah.
230
00:11:25,490 --> 00:11:26,930
Is it completely erased, Paul?
231
00:11:26,970 --> 00:11:29,930
It is. I'm glad I didn't eat it.
232
00:11:32,010 --> 00:11:34,450
{\an1}APPLAUSE
233
00:11:35,730 --> 00:11:39,770
Are you, Paul, under the impression
that you erased that eraser?
234
00:11:39,810 --> 00:11:41,610
I removed it from society.
235
00:11:41,650 --> 00:11:43,250
{\an1}LAUGHTER
236
00:11:43,290 --> 00:11:45,170
It's probably still
an eraser, isn't it?
237
00:11:45,210 --> 00:11:47,370
It's been erased.
I'm not sure that is erased.
238
00:11:47,410 --> 00:11:50,010
I mean, you could see yours
in a mush by your feet!
239
00:11:50,050 --> 00:11:52,570
Yeah, but it could no longer
function as an eraser.
240
00:11:52,610 --> 00:11:53,970
It was no longer an eraser.
241
00:11:54,010 --> 00:11:55,690
Mine is underwater in a pipe!
242
00:11:55,730 --> 00:11:58,050
But it's still an eraser.
It's not... It's not!
243
00:11:58,090 --> 00:11:59,210
It's lost its function.
244
00:11:59,250 --> 00:12:02,450
At this point... No-one's going to
use that as an eraser again.
245
00:12:02,490 --> 00:12:04,490
But if they really,
really wanted to,
246
00:12:04,530 --> 00:12:07,450
they could find it and it would
still be intact as an eraser.
247
00:12:07,490 --> 00:12:10,130
And also, I think that erasing
is the act of using it to rub.
248
00:12:10,170 --> 00:12:12,250
Where the fuck has this come from?!
249
00:12:12,290 --> 00:12:13,850
I don't know.
250
00:12:13,890 --> 00:12:16,410
I'm so fed up of putting in, like,
251
00:12:16,450 --> 00:12:19,610
loads and loads of genuinely
physical effort into the task
252
00:12:19,650 --> 00:12:22,650
and then these other people
find some wanky workaround.
253
00:12:24,250 --> 00:12:26,090
Put some fucking effort in!
254
00:12:27,770 --> 00:12:32,010
'I don't know where that's
come from - I'm really sorry.
I've been really nice so far.
255
00:12:32,050 --> 00:12:34,770
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
256
00:12:40,770 --> 00:12:44,610
Let's just let all the rage
simmer a bit.
257
00:12:44,650 --> 00:12:47,290
Hello, and welcome to
the end of Part One.
258
00:12:47,330 --> 00:12:48,490
Goodbye.
259
00:12:48,530 --> 00:12:49,730
{\an1}CHEERING
260
00:13:00,810 --> 00:13:01,890
Hello!
261
00:13:01,930 --> 00:13:06,010
Welcome back to the Taskmaster
Series Eight Grand Final.
262
00:13:06,050 --> 00:13:08,130
It's Part Two, and it's exciting.
263
00:13:08,170 --> 00:13:11,490
So, to reflect this, Alex,
can you please shout your recap
264
00:13:11,530 --> 00:13:13,570
at the very top of your lungs!
265
00:13:15,130 --> 00:13:17,410
HE TALKS LOUDLY:
They are trying to erase an eraser
266
00:13:17,450 --> 00:13:18,810
as fast as possible!
267
00:13:18,850 --> 00:13:19,850
Louder!
268
00:13:19,890 --> 00:13:22,410
And Iain and Paul flushed it!
269
00:13:22,450 --> 00:13:23,810
More!
270
00:13:23,850 --> 00:13:26,370
HE SHOUTS: Sian chucked it in a bush!
Actually shout!
271
00:13:26,410 --> 00:13:28,770
JOE MADE A MESS!
272
00:13:28,810 --> 00:13:32,130
AND WHO'S NEXT? LOU SANDERS!
273
00:13:33,130 --> 00:13:35,650
You genuinely shout like
a little old man.
274
00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:37,810
{\an1}LAUGHTER
275
00:13:37,850 --> 00:13:39,530
Why is there no volume?
276
00:13:39,570 --> 00:13:41,610
I'm sorry, I did my best.
277
00:13:41,650 --> 00:13:43,690
Get away from my lawn, you two!
278
00:13:45,850 --> 00:13:49,130
Before we debate erasing any more,
let's have a look at Lou's, can we?
279
00:13:49,170 --> 00:13:50,370
Yes. Here's Lou's.
280
00:13:50,410 --> 00:13:52,970
Fastest wins. Your time starts now.
281
00:13:58,050 --> 00:13:59,170
Yeah?
282
00:14:00,530 --> 00:14:01,810
Is this the sort of thing...?
283
00:14:03,890 --> 00:14:04,930
Oh...
284
00:14:07,490 --> 00:14:09,650
'It's taking longer than I thought.
285
00:14:09,690 --> 00:14:11,690
'Can I get a drink, please?
286
00:14:11,730 --> 00:14:13,970
Yeah, what would you like?
Oh, it tastes horrible!
287
00:14:14,010 --> 00:14:16,570
Water and a juice, please.
288
00:14:17,610 --> 00:14:19,810
Finished! Oh!
289
00:14:19,850 --> 00:14:20,850
OK.
290
00:14:20,890 --> 00:14:22,530
Well done, I've stopped the clock.
291
00:14:25,770 --> 00:14:26,890
Where is it?
292
00:14:27,890 --> 00:14:29,330
Anything else, Lou?
293
00:14:30,450 --> 00:14:32,730
Anything else?
I can still see some of it.
294
00:14:32,770 --> 00:14:34,170
Oh!
295
00:14:34,210 --> 00:14:36,450
It's not completely erased,
I'm afraid, Lou.
296
00:14:39,970 --> 00:14:41,250
It didn't taste very nice!
297
00:14:46,170 --> 00:14:47,370
{\an1}TOILET FLUSHES
298
00:14:47,410 --> 00:14:48,690
Where's it gone?
299
00:14:48,730 --> 00:14:50,850
Down the toilet.
I'll stop the clock.
300
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,410
{\an1}APPLAUSE
301
00:14:55,290 --> 00:14:57,210
If she'd eaten it,
would you have accepted it?
302
00:14:57,250 --> 00:14:59,490
I think she changed its form. Yeah.
303
00:14:59,530 --> 00:15:02,530
All she did was put it
into a sewage system.
304
00:15:02,570 --> 00:15:05,090
I changed its form. No, but
it's been digested, broken down,
305
00:15:05,130 --> 00:15:08,530
'there's no way you could
get those bits out and still
use it as a rubber. Thank you.
306
00:15:08,570 --> 00:15:12,130
'So, just so you know,
it ended up in the toilet
in the hands of three of them.
307
00:15:12,170 --> 00:15:14,090
Lou took 2 minutes 50 seconds.
308
00:15:14,130 --> 00:15:16,410
34 seconds by Paul,
20 seconds by Iain.
309
00:15:16,450 --> 00:15:18,290
Well, this is unprecedented,
310
00:15:18,330 --> 00:15:19,730
what I'm about to do.
311
00:15:19,770 --> 00:15:23,290
The first points I will award
according to the times.
312
00:15:24,330 --> 00:15:27,370
OK, so it'll be only 1 point to Joe,
2 to Sian, 3 to Lou,
313
00:15:27,410 --> 00:15:29,450
4 to Paul, 5 to Iain.
314
00:15:29,490 --> 00:15:33,130
Correct. But then I'm going to
give Lou 1 bonus point
315
00:15:33,170 --> 00:15:35,330
for chewing up a rubber
like a mad person,
316
00:15:35,370 --> 00:15:38,850
but I'm going to give Joe
a bonus of 3 points.
317
00:15:38,890 --> 00:15:40,370
Thank you. Yes.
318
00:15:40,410 --> 00:15:42,130
Joe gets 4 points!
319
00:15:42,170 --> 00:15:44,130
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
320
00:15:44,170 --> 00:15:45,850
Do you have another one ready?
321
00:15:45,890 --> 00:15:47,410
I do - and this one has legs.
322
00:16:00,090 --> 00:16:01,170
Ow!
323
00:16:06,690 --> 00:16:10,610
"Make yourself some
tremendous pretend legs."
324
00:16:10,650 --> 00:16:14,610
"You have five minutes to order
up to five items from Alex."
325
00:16:14,650 --> 00:16:16,530
"Once Alex has shopped
for the items,
326
00:16:16,570 --> 00:16:20,090
"you will have 20 minutes
to make your tremendous legs
327
00:16:20,130 --> 00:16:21,810
"and then demonstrate them."
328
00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:25,570
"Most tremendous pretend legs wins."
329
00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:29,530
"Your time starts...now."
330
00:16:29,570 --> 00:16:32,090
Massive trousers.
331
00:16:32,130 --> 00:16:33,890
Some green face-paint.
332
00:16:33,930 --> 00:16:36,450
Maybe I should try
and make some sort of hinge.
333
00:16:36,490 --> 00:16:38,690
Some sexy stockings.
334
00:16:38,730 --> 00:16:40,330
Some stripy tights.
335
00:16:40,370 --> 00:16:42,610
Red and black? Purple and black.
336
00:16:42,650 --> 00:16:45,250
Sorry. Two child-sized snooker cues.
337
00:16:45,290 --> 00:16:47,090
Fireworks. Oh, there we go.
338
00:16:47,130 --> 00:16:49,170
WHISTLE
Great, thanks a lot.
339
00:16:49,210 --> 00:16:51,610
Thanks, Joe.
Cheers. Bye. Bye-bye.
340
00:16:51,650 --> 00:16:53,850
{\an1}APPLAUSE
341
00:16:53,890 --> 00:16:56,490
The most tremendous legs, right?
Yes, the most tremendous legs.
342
00:16:56,530 --> 00:16:58,690
Great in amount, scale
or intensity - tremendous.
343
00:16:58,730 --> 00:17:01,210
Good. So, here we go -
this is Joe and Paul.
344
00:17:01,250 --> 00:17:04,090
I've never made anything
with hinges before.
345
00:17:05,370 --> 00:17:06,570
Oh, Christ.
346
00:17:09,050 --> 00:17:10,250
Here we go.
347
00:17:12,090 --> 00:17:13,370
What am I doing?
348
00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:21,650
Shit!
349
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:31,650
Come on.
350
00:17:31,690 --> 00:17:32,730
Fuck! Come on.
351
00:17:32,770 --> 00:17:33,770
Fuck you!
352
00:17:33,810 --> 00:17:35,090
Way!
353
00:17:36,850 --> 00:17:38,650
Hello, Alex. You doing OK?
354
00:17:38,690 --> 00:17:41,970
I'm fine, thank you, Joe.
You look...tired.
355
00:17:42,010 --> 00:17:43,530
Never felt better.
356
00:17:44,610 --> 00:17:45,930
Why?
357
00:17:45,970 --> 00:17:49,250
These little mothers down here.
358
00:17:49,290 --> 00:17:50,570
Two tremendous legs.
359
00:17:50,610 --> 00:17:52,250
Are they finished, Paul?
360
00:17:52,290 --> 00:17:54,010
Erm, I might take them outside.
361
00:17:59,890 --> 00:18:02,650
Ironically, I think
the mistake I made
362
00:18:02,690 --> 00:18:04,530
was not going for
an adult snooker cue.
363
00:18:04,570 --> 00:18:06,770
They're quite small, aren't they?
364
00:18:06,810 --> 00:18:08,010
Nonetheless...
365
00:18:10,370 --> 00:18:11,450
Oh!
366
00:18:12,810 --> 00:18:16,010
And I walk out
to enjoy my evening out.
367
00:18:17,490 --> 00:18:19,690
And is it possible
for you to stand? Stand?
368
00:18:19,730 --> 00:18:21,610
At the moment it's been kind of...
369
00:18:21,650 --> 00:18:23,930
On tiptoes is it? Erm...
370
00:18:25,130 --> 00:18:26,290
Oh...
371
00:18:26,330 --> 00:18:27,450
Whoa, OK!
372
00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:30,450
{\an1}LAUGHTER
373
00:18:37,810 --> 00:18:38,890
He's done it!
374
00:18:38,930 --> 00:18:42,050
And you can see that even
when disaster does strike,
375
00:18:42,090 --> 00:18:44,570
the leg fits straight back on.
376
00:18:44,610 --> 00:18:47,130
{\an1}HE PANTS
377
00:18:47,170 --> 00:18:49,770
Thank you, Paul.
Thank you. Well done.
378
00:18:52,650 --> 00:18:54,610
Thank you, Joe. Cheers.
379
00:18:54,650 --> 00:18:57,010
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
380
00:19:02,410 --> 00:19:04,290
I hated that.
381
00:19:04,330 --> 00:19:06,690
I hated every
fucking second of that.
382
00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:09,570
I asked for hinges and then
didn't use them to make the knee,
383
00:19:09,610 --> 00:19:11,650
I just used them to... Well...
384
00:19:11,690 --> 00:19:13,010
Well, you asked for hinges
385
00:19:13,050 --> 00:19:15,410
and then you were so frenetic,
there was so much activity.
386
00:19:15,450 --> 00:19:18,050
It was like an episode of
The A-Team for our older fans.
387
00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:22,010
It was incredible, there was so much
industry going on, and then...
388
00:19:22,050 --> 00:19:25,010
I mean, the legs were so rubbish
389
00:19:25,050 --> 00:19:27,330
and then you really hurt yourself.
390
00:19:27,370 --> 00:19:30,450
Yeah. No, I really genuinely
felt quite sad that day
391
00:19:30,490 --> 00:19:32,130
after going home
and having done that,
392
00:19:32,170 --> 00:19:34,970
because I really thought I should be
able to do a bit better than that.
393
00:19:35,010 --> 00:19:38,010
I think all of us who were there
felt sad - and angry as well.
394
00:19:38,050 --> 00:19:39,450
Yeah, yeah.
395
00:19:39,490 --> 00:19:41,570
So far away from tremendous.
396
00:19:41,610 --> 00:19:45,850
Paul, any regrets about
choosing child-sized snooker...?
397
00:19:45,890 --> 00:19:48,170
I read the task
and I thought to myself,
398
00:19:48,210 --> 00:19:51,610
"I am not going to come out of this
task with any dignity whatsoever".
399
00:19:51,650 --> 00:19:54,850
I'm dyspraxic,
I'm virtually colour-blind,
400
00:19:54,890 --> 00:19:58,610
I've got an injured shoulder
and, more than that,
401
00:19:58,650 --> 00:20:01,570
I am an absolute dickhead.
402
00:20:03,250 --> 00:20:04,890
That's not fair,
you're not a dickhead.
403
00:20:04,930 --> 00:20:07,650
They looked more like legs
than Joe's did, they were functional,
404
00:20:07,690 --> 00:20:10,610
they were able to
very slowly kick a football.
405
00:20:10,650 --> 00:20:14,330
I mean, it's an image that will haunt
me for some time, which is good.
406
00:20:14,370 --> 00:20:16,450
Shall we see someone else? Yeah!
407
00:20:16,490 --> 00:20:19,650
OK. One of her shopping requests
was spaghetti -
408
00:20:19,690 --> 00:20:20,770
it's Lou Sanders.
409
00:20:20,810 --> 00:20:22,650
Wow.
410
00:20:24,610 --> 00:20:26,130
Yeah? Yeah.
411
00:20:27,890 --> 00:20:29,370
OK, get ready.
412
00:20:31,010 --> 00:20:32,010
OK.
413
00:20:37,490 --> 00:20:39,090
{\an1}LOU LAUGHS
414
00:20:51,810 --> 00:20:53,130
Tremendous.
415
00:20:53,170 --> 00:20:55,730
{\an1}APPLAUSE
416
00:20:55,770 --> 00:20:59,890
They were more tremendous than
what we've seen thus far, I think.
417
00:20:59,930 --> 00:21:01,810
Fair to say. They were legs.
418
00:21:01,850 --> 00:21:05,850
They were slightly more tremendous
than the pool cues, sorry.
419
00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:08,690
I think Paul's point is
she didn't make the legs -
420
00:21:08,730 --> 00:21:11,010
she improved pre-existing legs.
421
00:21:11,050 --> 00:21:14,050
But you... What was the task again?
422
00:21:14,090 --> 00:21:16,450
Make... Make some tremendous legs.
423
00:21:16,490 --> 00:21:19,730
Yeah, I made some normal legs
tremendous. Tremendous.
424
00:21:19,770 --> 00:21:21,210
They did look quite tremendous
425
00:21:21,250 --> 00:21:23,610
and it was surprising
to see them up there.
426
00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:25,570
Yeah, thank you.
427
00:21:25,610 --> 00:21:27,650
It'd raise an eyebrow.
428
00:21:27,690 --> 00:21:31,010
They were the most tremendous legs
I've seen thus far.
429
00:21:31,050 --> 00:21:33,330
Look, we're halfway through
the final.
430
00:21:33,370 --> 00:21:36,210
Not only will someone
win the Taskmaster trophy,
431
00:21:36,250 --> 00:21:39,770
but someone will also go home
with a squatting toilet stool -
432
00:21:39,810 --> 00:21:41,770
win-win! Bye-bye.
433
00:21:41,810 --> 00:21:44,610
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
434
00:21:52,650 --> 00:21:53,970
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
435
00:21:54,010 --> 00:21:56,010
Hello.
436
00:21:56,050 --> 00:21:59,490
Welcome back to the start of Part
Three, here in the Taskmaster Final.
437
00:21:59,530 --> 00:22:00,530
Where were we, Alex?
438
00:22:00,570 --> 00:22:02,690
Legs is where we were,
and where we still are.
439
00:22:02,730 --> 00:22:04,090
Legs. So far we've discovered
440
00:22:04,130 --> 00:22:07,450
that Paul Sinha thinks
the most tremendous legs imaginable
441
00:22:07,490 --> 00:22:10,810
are a smaller, less mobile
version of his own.
442
00:22:13,290 --> 00:22:16,730
Now for Sian, with a slightly
higher production-value version.
443
00:22:16,770 --> 00:22:17,850
Here we go.
444
00:22:17,890 --> 00:22:20,530
{\an1}DRAMATIC MUSIC
445
00:22:25,210 --> 00:22:26,490
{\an1}GLASS SMASHES
446
00:22:39,890 --> 00:22:43,450
SHE SHRIEKS
I'm melting, I'm melting!
447
00:22:43,490 --> 00:22:46,570
{\an1}SHE SHRIEKS
448
00:22:48,010 --> 00:22:53,130
Argh, I'm melting, I'm melting!
449
00:22:58,890 --> 00:23:01,810
{\an1}APPLAUSE
450
00:23:04,690 --> 00:23:06,090
I think mine was better.
451
00:23:08,090 --> 00:23:12,010
Oh, man. The production.
The whole concept was wonderful.
452
00:23:12,050 --> 00:23:13,610
I loved your tremendous legs.
453
00:23:13,650 --> 00:23:16,210
I'm going to hand out points
pretty quickly.
454
00:23:16,250 --> 00:23:18,330
After seeing Iain's... Iain.
455
00:23:18,370 --> 00:23:20,570
{\an1}LAUGHTER
456
00:23:22,090 --> 00:23:26,010
So, erm... Ugh! How's your day been?
457
00:23:26,050 --> 00:23:27,490
Good, thank you.
458
00:23:27,530 --> 00:23:29,490
'Anything interest...ing?
459
00:23:31,050 --> 00:23:32,210
Your ankle.
460
00:23:33,330 --> 00:23:35,650
What about your ankle? Argh, argh!
461
00:23:35,690 --> 00:23:37,530
Argh!
462
00:23:39,090 --> 00:23:41,890
I've broken both my ankles!
463
00:23:41,930 --> 00:23:43,450
I like your new shoes.
464
00:23:43,490 --> 00:23:46,570
Thank you very much.
They're, erm, from...
465
00:23:54,490 --> 00:23:55,970
D'you ever do that?
466
00:23:56,010 --> 00:23:57,890
Oh, my back!
467
00:23:57,930 --> 00:23:59,050
My back.
468
00:24:01,010 --> 00:24:03,370
We're off to the caravan.
469
00:24:03,410 --> 00:24:05,810
{\an1}APPLAUSE
470
00:24:05,850 --> 00:24:07,330
Why...?
471
00:24:07,370 --> 00:24:10,850
Why did you hamper yourself
with fake arms?
472
00:24:10,890 --> 00:24:12,850
I got carried away.
473
00:24:12,890 --> 00:24:14,730
The thing about this show...
474
00:24:14,770 --> 00:24:17,490
You don't see it from
another person's point of view.
475
00:24:17,530 --> 00:24:20,530
I was convinced I'd won this task!
476
00:24:20,570 --> 00:24:22,210
{\an1}LAUGHTER
477
00:24:22,250 --> 00:24:25,970
I'm barefooted,
stood on stainless steel,
478
00:24:26,010 --> 00:24:30,890
with my hands zipped
into my body... Yeah.
479
00:24:30,930 --> 00:24:34,290
..and then I gaffer-taped
a mannequin hand onto each side.
480
00:24:34,330 --> 00:24:36,690
They were both left hands.
481
00:24:38,330 --> 00:24:39,850
I barely noticed.
482
00:24:39,890 --> 00:24:42,370
I know - I put gloves on them
so you wouldn't!
483
00:24:44,330 --> 00:24:46,130
By the point I was doing that,
484
00:24:46,170 --> 00:24:48,210
the legs had really
become an afterthought.
485
00:24:49,730 --> 00:24:53,690
'As a character, you look like
a pretty cool guy to hang out with.
We had a lovely time.
486
00:24:53,730 --> 00:24:56,570
You were having a lovely old sway.
Lovely slow sway. Yeah.
487
00:24:56,610 --> 00:24:59,010
I'm going to score it
really quickly. Are you? Yeah.
488
00:24:59,050 --> 00:25:00,770
Guess who's in last? Me.
489
00:25:00,810 --> 00:25:03,410
1 point for Joe. Thank you.
490
00:25:03,450 --> 00:25:06,010
I want to give this 100 bonus points,
491
00:25:06,050 --> 00:25:10,290
but if I mark them as
just tremendous legs,
492
00:25:10,330 --> 00:25:13,930
unfortunately I have to
give the children's snooker cue...
493
00:25:15,370 --> 00:25:17,410
Unfortunately I have to
give them 2 points.
494
00:25:17,450 --> 00:25:19,610
I mean, he's done well
to get 2 there. 2 points to Paul.
495
00:25:19,650 --> 00:25:22,290
He's done really well. Unbelievable.
I want to hang out with him,
496
00:25:22,330 --> 00:25:25,090
but I don't think his legs
are that tremendous.
497
00:25:25,130 --> 00:25:28,610
But I will give clumpy, sway-ey,
clumsy man 3 points.
498
00:25:28,650 --> 00:25:29,970
3 points to Iain.
499
00:25:30,010 --> 00:25:32,890
Obviously I want to roller-skate
on top of a caravan for one foot.
500
00:25:32,930 --> 00:25:35,090
Louie... Lou gets 4 points.
501
00:25:35,130 --> 00:25:37,770
Louie-Lou - 4 points. I mean,
who can deny the production
502
00:25:37,810 --> 00:25:39,930
of Sian Gibson - 5 points?
503
00:25:39,970 --> 00:25:43,610
That was great.
CHEERING
504
00:25:43,650 --> 00:25:45,570
Oh, dear me!
505
00:25:45,610 --> 00:25:49,210
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Little scoreboard update, please.
506
00:25:49,250 --> 00:25:52,730
OK, it's tight at the bottom, as...
507
00:25:52,770 --> 00:25:56,810
Mummy used to say...
LAUGHTER
508
00:26:00,050 --> 00:26:01,890
It's a three-way tie at the bottom.
509
00:26:01,930 --> 00:26:03,810
Joe, Paul and Sian all have 9,
then Lou has 11
510
00:26:03,850 --> 00:26:07,090
but, in the lead with 13 points,
it's Iain Stirling.
511
00:26:07,130 --> 00:26:09,490
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
512
00:26:10,890 --> 00:26:13,130
Please can we have one more -
just one more.
513
00:26:13,170 --> 00:26:14,770
I have exactly one more task.
514
00:26:14,810 --> 00:26:17,370
The last video task of
the series, I'm afraid.
515
00:26:17,410 --> 00:26:21,330
But it does involve some very
dangerous parking and a bobble hat.
516
00:26:35,650 --> 00:26:38,370
It's a long way. Pardon?
517
00:26:38,410 --> 00:26:40,650
It's a long way.
518
00:26:40,690 --> 00:26:42,250
Yes. I'm not very good at running.
519
00:26:42,290 --> 00:26:44,090
You don't have to run.
520
00:26:45,810 --> 00:26:47,010
Have a little looky.
521
00:26:47,050 --> 00:26:49,330
"Follow the instructions
on the signs
522
00:26:49,370 --> 00:26:51,730
"and park this buggy
in the parking bay."
523
00:26:53,410 --> 00:26:56,010
"You have a maximum of ten minutes
to prepare your journey,
524
00:26:56,050 --> 00:26:59,650
"during which you may not move
any of the items on the course."
525
00:27:00,770 --> 00:27:04,330
"Your journey must start
from where the buggy is now."
526
00:27:04,370 --> 00:27:07,690
That's going to be easy, no?
527
00:27:07,730 --> 00:27:11,170
"Also, you must be wearing
this blindfold correctly
528
00:27:11,210 --> 00:27:13,330
"at all times during your journey."
529
00:27:13,370 --> 00:27:14,970
Ah... ah!
530
00:27:15,010 --> 00:27:16,370
Ah.
531
00:27:16,410 --> 00:27:18,370
"Most accurate journey wins.
532
00:27:18,410 --> 00:27:21,210
"Your preparation time starts now."
533
00:27:21,250 --> 00:27:22,850
What?!
534
00:27:22,890 --> 00:27:25,890
Right, so let's have a look
at these instructions.
535
00:27:25,930 --> 00:27:28,530
"Do knock these bells off.
536
00:27:28,570 --> 00:27:30,210
"High-five him."
537
00:27:30,250 --> 00:27:31,890
"Do NOT knock these bells off."
538
00:27:34,730 --> 00:27:37,890
"So I've got to drive that
blindfolded and do them things?"
539
00:27:37,930 --> 00:27:39,170
Yes, please.
540
00:27:39,210 --> 00:27:40,810
Good luck.
541
00:27:40,850 --> 00:27:43,290
LOU: I'm just going to have
a little go on this.
542
00:27:43,330 --> 00:27:44,370
Whoo!
543
00:27:51,610 --> 00:27:53,490
Stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!
544
00:27:53,530 --> 00:27:54,610
Jesus.
545
00:27:56,930 --> 00:28:02,090
Absolute carnage from you
before the blindfold's gone on.
546
00:28:02,130 --> 00:28:05,530
And you know how I knew
that was genuine panic?
547
00:28:05,570 --> 00:28:08,290
Because the old-man voice came out.
548
00:28:08,330 --> 00:28:10,290
"Paul, Paul, Paul, Paul!"
549
00:28:10,330 --> 00:28:13,090
"It's my bloody garden again!"
550
00:28:13,130 --> 00:28:16,050
I can't wait to see this.
551
00:28:16,090 --> 00:28:18,090
We've grouped these two together
already today,
552
00:28:18,130 --> 00:28:20,690
but now it's their last chance
to truly prove themselves,
553
00:28:20,730 --> 00:28:23,250
it's Joe and Paul again.
554
00:28:23,290 --> 00:28:24,770
Here we go.
555
00:28:24,810 --> 00:28:27,730
OK. You've got eight more
minutes to prepare.
556
00:28:27,770 --> 00:28:29,490
Oh, eight more to prepare? OK.
557
00:28:30,690 --> 00:28:32,930
Erm...
558
00:28:34,450 --> 00:28:36,250
I'm going to administer
the blindfold system. OK.
559
00:28:36,290 --> 00:28:38,170
Layer one. Wow.
560
00:28:38,210 --> 00:28:40,650
Can you see anything, Paul? No.
561
00:28:40,690 --> 00:28:42,690
Good luck! Thank you.
562
00:28:42,730 --> 00:28:43,970
I'm going to go.
563
00:28:44,010 --> 00:28:46,210
{\an1}BEEP-BEEP!
564
00:29:01,010 --> 00:29:03,250
Fuckin' hell!
565
00:29:03,290 --> 00:29:05,250
Was that the mannequin?
566
00:29:06,890 --> 00:29:08,250
Was that a high-five?
567
00:29:16,330 --> 00:29:18,530
I thought I had a good idea here.
568
00:29:18,570 --> 00:29:20,610
Where are the bells?
569
00:29:22,530 --> 00:29:23,690
Oh, God!
570
00:29:26,170 --> 00:29:30,170
Oh. I think it goes without saying
that I don't really know where I am.
571
00:29:30,210 --> 00:29:31,890
Where do you think you are?
572
00:29:31,930 --> 00:29:35,850
I'd like to think that
the parking bay is there.
573
00:29:35,890 --> 00:29:37,930
All right.
574
00:29:37,970 --> 00:29:40,690
Have you got a plan B, Paul? Erm...
575
00:29:40,730 --> 00:29:42,250
Careful. Brilliant.
576
00:29:48,290 --> 00:29:50,010
It's not as big as I thought it was.
577
00:29:50,050 --> 00:29:52,810
What are you looking for at
the moment, Paul? The bike again.
578
00:29:52,850 --> 00:29:54,010
{\an1}ALEX LAUGHS
579
00:29:54,050 --> 00:29:55,570
Lost the bike again...
580
00:29:57,930 --> 00:29:58,930
OK.
581
00:30:10,210 --> 00:30:12,410
I'm going to park it now.
582
00:30:12,450 --> 00:30:14,050
Careful, Paul!
583
00:30:14,090 --> 00:30:15,370
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
584
00:30:20,370 --> 00:30:22,850
I was nearly there.
585
00:30:22,890 --> 00:30:24,730
Yeah.
586
00:30:24,770 --> 00:30:27,330
I could be anywhere.
BELLS JINGLE
587
00:30:28,930 --> 00:30:32,250
I've stopped now,
I've finished the journey.
588
00:30:32,290 --> 00:30:34,250
Oh, it's not too bad.
589
00:30:36,050 --> 00:30:38,450
{\an1}APPLAUSE
590
00:30:39,650 --> 00:30:42,290
Can I ask what the strategy was
with leaving the buggy?
591
00:30:42,330 --> 00:30:45,770
My first mistake was thinking
that I was competent enough
592
00:30:45,810 --> 00:30:49,050
to drive somewhere near the bells,
get out of the thing,
593
00:30:49,090 --> 00:30:51,890
walk out and knock the bells off
with my own hands.
594
00:30:51,930 --> 00:30:55,570
But somehow or other, I just
fucked it up from the word go.
595
00:30:55,610 --> 00:30:59,090
Well, we all enjoyed
watching him walk around a space.
596
00:30:59,130 --> 00:31:02,410
And I was thinking, "He's not going
to remember where that buggy is!"
597
00:31:02,450 --> 00:31:04,410
Delightful. Well, he found it
598
00:31:04,450 --> 00:31:07,690
but, unfortunately,
tried to get on the front instead...
599
00:31:07,730 --> 00:31:09,170
{\an1}LAUGHTER
600
00:31:09,210 --> 00:31:11,570
And, Joe, I thought you would
employ a more logical system,
601
00:31:11,610 --> 00:31:14,010
rather than just, "OK, I think
I've got the measure of this,
602
00:31:14,050 --> 00:31:15,730
"let's drive."
603
00:31:15,770 --> 00:31:18,170
You went full speed.
You had your hazards on.
604
00:31:18,210 --> 00:31:20,850
Hazards on. My thinking was,
if you put your hazards on,
605
00:31:20,890 --> 00:31:23,370
you can do literally
whatever you want.
606
00:31:23,410 --> 00:31:26,330
You did say afterwards,
"That was bloody brilliant."
607
00:31:26,370 --> 00:31:27,930
It was. It was good.
608
00:31:27,970 --> 00:31:29,890
Here it is. The last break
of the series.
609
00:31:29,930 --> 00:31:32,610
Alex, I'd like to take
this opportunity to apologise.
610
00:31:32,650 --> 00:31:34,850
Because, just before the show record,
611
00:31:34,890 --> 00:31:37,130
I genuinely cut
your trousers in half.
612
00:31:39,050 --> 00:31:40,810
Now, I know you think
this was a joke.
613
00:31:40,850 --> 00:31:42,090
I went into your dressing room
614
00:31:42,130 --> 00:31:44,810
and I got your trousers that
you're wearing to the party tonight
615
00:31:44,850 --> 00:31:46,850
and I cut them in half with
a big pair of scissors!
616
00:31:49,330 --> 00:31:51,090
{\an1}APPLAUSE
617
00:31:53,130 --> 00:31:55,690
I think it's the best thing
I've ever done. Yeah.
618
00:31:55,730 --> 00:31:57,530
Yeah, I can see that.
619
00:31:57,570 --> 00:32:00,250
Ah! They are my actual
trousers, so...
620
00:32:00,290 --> 00:32:01,570
Here's a break. OK.
621
00:32:01,610 --> 00:32:03,530
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
622
00:32:14,090 --> 00:32:15,450
{\an1}APPLAUSE
623
00:32:15,490 --> 00:32:17,570
Hello. Welcome back.
624
00:32:17,610 --> 00:32:20,010
Here we are, then -
the final part of the series.
625
00:32:20,050 --> 00:32:21,690
I can't quite believe it,
can you, Alex?
626
00:32:21,730 --> 00:32:25,410
Yes, I can. But there's still
a task to finish, Greg.
627
00:32:25,450 --> 00:32:27,130
They've been parking a buggy badly
628
00:32:27,170 --> 00:32:31,410
and, lastly, we're going
to see Iain, Sian and Lou.
629
00:32:31,450 --> 00:32:34,850
7, 8, 9, 10, 11.
630
00:32:34,890 --> 00:32:36,570
Stop.
631
00:32:36,610 --> 00:32:38,210
Jingle.
632
00:32:38,250 --> 00:32:40,690
One elephant, two elephants,
633
00:32:40,730 --> 00:32:42,050
three elephants.
634
00:32:44,650 --> 00:32:46,690
Oh, I forgot my number counting
now.
635
00:32:47,850 --> 00:32:51,370
OK, so if you stand by
the parking lot emitting a noise.
636
00:32:51,410 --> 00:32:54,290
Shall I blow the whistle
every 5-7 seconds?
637
00:32:54,330 --> 00:32:55,810
1, 2, 3,
638
00:32:55,850 --> 00:32:58,410
4, 5, 7, 8, 9.
639
00:33:03,370 --> 00:33:05,210
10, 11, 12.
640
00:33:05,250 --> 00:33:08,290
They're all 12cm apart.
641
00:33:08,330 --> 00:33:10,170
Can I go and get a big stick?
642
00:33:10,210 --> 00:33:11,650
Do whatever you want.
643
00:33:14,410 --> 00:33:16,130
{\an1}SHE WHIMPERS
644
00:33:21,010 --> 00:33:23,290
IAIN: One elephant, two elephant,
645
00:33:23,330 --> 00:33:24,450
three elephant.
646
00:33:25,530 --> 00:33:26,770
Hello?
647
00:33:28,410 --> 00:33:29,930
But it was three...
648
00:33:29,970 --> 00:33:32,170
It WAS three elephants!
649
00:33:32,210 --> 00:33:35,610
I...just...keep...walking...
650
00:33:37,690 --> 00:33:40,890
What's that? That's a camera.
651
00:33:44,850 --> 00:33:47,050
Oh, I shouldn't have
got out of the truck.
652
00:33:48,250 --> 00:33:50,290
11, 12.
653
00:33:51,850 --> 00:33:54,010
{\an1}BELLS JINGLE
654
00:33:54,050 --> 00:33:56,370
{\an1}APPLAUSE
655
00:34:09,170 --> 00:34:11,850
{\an1}It's all right. I high-fived it!
656
00:34:11,890 --> 00:34:13,170
OK.
657
00:34:13,210 --> 00:34:15,330
14, 15.
658
00:34:17,690 --> 00:34:18,930
Oh.
659
00:34:20,170 --> 00:34:21,690
Yes! Come on!
660
00:34:23,170 --> 00:34:24,930
Get off.
661
00:34:24,970 --> 00:34:26,530
Careful!
662
00:34:26,570 --> 00:34:27,650
Ooh!
663
00:34:27,690 --> 00:34:28,770
Ooh! Ah.
664
00:34:28,810 --> 00:34:30,930
{\an1}SHE LAUGHS BREATHLESSLY
665
00:34:36,370 --> 00:34:38,170
High five!
666
00:34:38,210 --> 00:34:39,890
Am I the wrong side?
667
00:34:39,930 --> 00:34:42,050
This is terrible.
668
00:34:43,130 --> 00:34:44,930
Ooh. High five.
669
00:34:46,010 --> 00:34:48,010
Oh, don't do this again.
670
00:34:48,050 --> 00:34:49,610
Oh, no.
671
00:34:51,530 --> 00:34:53,490
{\an1}BELLS JINGLE
672
00:35:07,210 --> 00:35:08,850
Yes!
673
00:35:08,890 --> 00:35:10,970
{\an1}APPLAUSE
674
00:35:11,010 --> 00:35:14,010
9, 10, 11.
675
00:35:15,570 --> 00:35:17,570
I'm in!
676
00:35:17,610 --> 00:35:20,770
'I'll just not worry about
the other bells, OK? OK.
677
00:35:20,810 --> 00:35:23,370
'OK, so what's that, then?
678
00:35:23,410 --> 00:35:26,130
'So I think I'm just going
to back out here.
679
00:35:26,170 --> 00:35:27,450
'Ooh!
680
00:35:27,490 --> 00:35:29,370
{\an4}APPLAUSE
681
00:35:32,570 --> 00:35:34,330
'Absolute carnage.
682
00:35:34,370 --> 00:35:36,650
'But also getting me to whistle
in the parking bay
683
00:35:36,690 --> 00:35:38,930
'did mean she got to
the parking bay eventually.
684
00:35:38,970 --> 00:35:41,730
'Oh, OK. She did create some system.
There was a system.
685
00:35:41,770 --> 00:35:44,490
'That's good, cos I'd hate
for you to damage the truck!
686
00:35:46,370 --> 00:35:48,530
I think the thing
that's worth mentioning
687
00:35:48,570 --> 00:35:50,650
is that no-one else
took over 10 minutes.
688
00:35:50,690 --> 00:35:51,850
She took half an hour.
689
00:35:53,490 --> 00:35:56,330
Because I wanted to get it right!
Yeah. The elephant system.
690
00:35:56,370 --> 00:35:58,130
You were very passionate about it.
691
00:35:58,170 --> 00:36:01,370
Elephants. I've seen people
say "elephants" before.
692
00:36:01,410 --> 00:36:04,450
I've seen people say "elephants"
before. Yeah, couple of times.
693
00:36:04,490 --> 00:36:05,930
We went to that thing, didn't we?
694
00:36:05,970 --> 00:36:08,530
Yeah, the old... Elephant conference.
Yeah. Yeah.
695
00:36:08,570 --> 00:36:10,890
Sian, what was your system?
696
00:36:10,930 --> 00:36:14,530
Erm, counting in centimetres!
697
00:36:14,570 --> 00:36:17,810
And I was amazed to find out
that they were all 12cm apart.
698
00:36:17,850 --> 00:36:21,450
I know! It looks different.
It does look different.
699
00:36:21,490 --> 00:36:23,930
And we can see some lovely
interpretive dance as well.
700
00:36:23,970 --> 00:36:26,690
{\an1}THEY LAUGH
701
00:36:26,730 --> 00:36:30,170
Well, I don't need to hand out
points, do I? No, not yet.
702
00:36:30,210 --> 00:36:33,090
I'm going to show you the graphics
of how accurate their journey is
703
00:36:33,130 --> 00:36:34,570
and that shout speak for itself.
704
00:36:34,610 --> 00:36:36,450
I've plotted Joe's journey first,
705
00:36:36,490 --> 00:36:37,650
so he went a bit like this...
706
00:36:37,690 --> 00:36:40,130
You see bottom-left, he's aiming
for the bottom-right.
707
00:36:40,170 --> 00:36:41,450
Started well.
708
00:36:44,410 --> 00:36:46,210
There's some good and bad there.
709
00:36:46,250 --> 00:36:48,210
I've drawn a penis there.
710
00:36:50,130 --> 00:36:51,130
Ending with that?
711
00:36:53,130 --> 00:36:54,210
Paul next.
712
00:36:54,250 --> 00:36:57,290
I've made the line solid
when he abandoned the truck.
713
00:36:59,730 --> 00:37:01,330
Back in.
714
00:37:01,370 --> 00:37:02,810
Back out.
715
00:37:02,850 --> 00:37:04,330
And he's off.
716
00:37:06,090 --> 00:37:07,930
{\an1}APPLAUSE
717
00:37:07,970 --> 00:37:10,650
Iain next. I think you'll be
quite impressed by Iain's journey.
718
00:37:10,690 --> 00:37:12,650
Pretty smooth.
719
00:37:12,690 --> 00:37:14,610
Look at that. Wow.
720
00:37:14,650 --> 00:37:16,090
Textbook stuff.
721
00:37:16,130 --> 00:37:18,450
Oh, lovely!
722
00:37:18,490 --> 00:37:20,610
APPLAUSE
Lovely!
723
00:37:20,650 --> 00:37:24,770
Sian's wasn't dissimilar but,
again, she abandoned the truck
724
00:37:24,810 --> 00:37:26,930
and that's where it got
less accurate.
725
00:37:28,650 --> 00:37:33,370
Good ending, though,
good ending. Not bad.
726
00:37:33,410 --> 00:37:35,090
Lou. Yeah, finally.
727
00:37:35,130 --> 00:37:37,050
All 30 minutes of Lou's journey.
728
00:37:39,650 --> 00:37:42,730
{\an1}LAUGHTER
729
00:37:46,770 --> 00:37:48,570
{\an1}LAUGHTER
730
00:37:48,610 --> 00:37:50,410
Ooh. There we go.
731
00:37:50,450 --> 00:37:52,850
{\an1}APPLAUSE
732
00:37:54,850 --> 00:37:55,970
Who was best?
733
00:37:56,010 --> 00:37:58,850
Oh, Iain Stirling definitely was the
best - he gets 5 points. 5 points!
734
00:38:00,530 --> 00:38:03,610
Presumably Sian's is the next-best?
Sian, definitely - 4. 4 points.
735
00:38:03,650 --> 00:38:06,290
Yep. And then 3, 2, 1.
736
00:38:06,330 --> 00:38:09,410
Joe, Paul, Lou. Joe, Paul. Lou
was definitely the least accurate.
737
00:38:09,450 --> 00:38:11,370
So 3 points, 2 points.
1 point to Lou.
738
00:38:11,410 --> 00:38:14,090
OK, everyone, it saddens me
to ask this,
739
00:38:14,130 --> 00:38:17,650
but could you please
make your way to the stage
740
00:38:17,690 --> 00:38:20,210
for the final task of the series!
741
00:38:20,250 --> 00:38:23,730
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
742
00:38:28,370 --> 00:38:30,290
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
743
00:38:30,330 --> 00:38:33,410
Hi, lovely ponytail-boy.
Hi, ponytail-man.
744
00:38:33,450 --> 00:38:35,890
Who's going to read
the final task of the series out?
745
00:38:35,930 --> 00:38:37,050
Lou Sanders.
746
00:38:37,090 --> 00:38:38,090
OK.
747
00:38:39,370 --> 00:38:40,770
Yep. Right way up.
748
00:38:40,810 --> 00:38:42,850
"Correctly wearing these goggles,
749
00:38:42,890 --> 00:38:45,930
"and with your eyes open
at all times, retrieve your duck.
750
00:38:45,970 --> 00:38:48,770
"You must stand on your spot
and hold the stick by the handle.
751
00:38:48,810 --> 00:38:51,530
"You must stay standing on your spot
throughout the task.
752
00:38:51,570 --> 00:38:55,570
"Fastest to hold their duck in their
hands above their head" - oh, yeah -
753
00:38:55,610 --> 00:38:57,010
"wins.
754
00:38:57,050 --> 00:38:59,250
"You have a maximum
of three minutes."
755
00:38:59,290 --> 00:39:01,690
This doesn't seem very hard.
I wonder what those goggles do.
756
00:39:01,730 --> 00:39:03,370
I'm not going to tell you that. OK.
757
00:39:03,410 --> 00:39:06,370
When I blow the whistle,
place your goggles over your eyes
758
00:39:06,410 --> 00:39:07,770
and retrieve your ducks.
759
00:39:09,570 --> 00:39:11,770
Jesus Christ!
760
00:39:11,810 --> 00:39:13,890
It turns everything
upside-down. Whoops!
761
00:39:13,930 --> 00:39:15,410
Oh, that is horrible.
762
00:39:20,370 --> 00:39:22,610
Lou, you must stay on your spot.
763
00:39:22,650 --> 00:39:25,170
{\an8}I'm on my spot, aren't I?
Well, some of you's on the spot.
764
00:39:25,210 --> 00:39:26,730
OK. How's it going, Sian?
765
00:39:26,770 --> 00:39:27,930
I feel...
766
00:39:27,970 --> 00:39:29,410
'AUDIENCE: Aw!
767
00:39:29,450 --> 00:39:30,850
{\an8}Oh, it might be all right.
768
00:39:30,890 --> 00:39:33,810
{\an8}Fuck off! Fuck off! FUCK OFF!
769
00:39:33,850 --> 00:39:35,570
Come on, Joe.
770
00:39:37,410 --> 00:39:39,610
'That is not your duck, Lou!
771
00:39:41,410 --> 00:39:42,930
Come on, Joe.
772
00:39:44,010 --> 00:39:45,370
That's it. Oh!
773
00:39:47,970 --> 00:39:49,410
{\an3}It could be Paul!
774
00:39:49,450 --> 00:39:50,690
{\an3}Only Paul's is remaining!
775
00:39:50,730 --> 00:39:52,010
No!
776
00:39:52,050 --> 00:39:53,730
{\an1}AUDIENCE GASPS
777
00:39:53,770 --> 00:39:57,370
{\an8}OK. Stay on your spot,
stay on your spots!
778
00:39:57,410 --> 00:40:00,090
{\an8}Ah, my bum!
Yes, I've covered that up.
779
00:40:00,130 --> 00:40:02,130
{\an8}Do you have to catch it
with the hook?
780
00:40:02,170 --> 00:40:03,690
{\an8}No, do whatever you want, Paul. Oh!
781
00:40:03,730 --> 00:40:05,730
{\an1}CHEERING
782
00:40:12,930 --> 00:40:14,730
{\an1}CHEERING
783
00:40:16,010 --> 00:40:17,410
{\an1}APPLAUSE
784
00:40:21,490 --> 00:40:23,050
AUDIENCE: Aw!
785
00:40:29,930 --> 00:40:31,850
{\an1}HE BLOWS WHISTLE
786
00:40:31,890 --> 00:40:33,930
AUDIENCE: Aw!
787
00:40:33,970 --> 00:40:35,530
I put it on my head!
788
00:40:35,570 --> 00:40:37,930
I put that duck on my head!
789
00:40:37,970 --> 00:40:40,370
You may take off your goggles.
790
00:40:40,410 --> 00:40:44,010
'Paul, you're the only one
not sitting on the floor now,
for some reason.
791
00:40:44,050 --> 00:40:46,170
But you don't have to sit
on the floor, no-one ever...
792
00:40:46,210 --> 00:40:49,010
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
Good.
793
00:40:49,050 --> 00:40:52,010
Come down and we'll add that
to the final scores!
794
00:40:52,050 --> 00:40:55,450
{\an1}APPLAUSE
795
00:40:58,490 --> 00:41:00,570
Messy old business, wasn't it?
Yeah. Yeah.
796
00:41:00,610 --> 00:41:05,210
Three of the contestants did not
retrieve the duck within the time.
797
00:41:05,250 --> 00:41:06,930
So we can safely say 0 points.
798
00:41:06,970 --> 00:41:08,410
I'm afraid so, to those three.
799
00:41:08,450 --> 00:41:12,090
And that is to Lou, Paul
and to Sian. Whoo!
800
00:41:12,130 --> 00:41:14,650
And I'm very sorry to say...
801
00:41:14,690 --> 00:41:17,530
Iain got Joe's duck
and Joe got Iain's duck.
802
00:41:17,570 --> 00:41:19,650
Oh!
803
00:41:19,690 --> 00:41:22,130
And I want you to greet this
with a huge round of applause,
804
00:41:22,170 --> 00:41:25,650
because I do think it's sort of
in keeping with the entire programme,
805
00:41:25,690 --> 00:41:30,290
that in the final task
of Series Eight of Taskmaster,
806
00:41:30,330 --> 00:41:32,810
every single contestant has scored...
807
00:41:32,850 --> 00:41:34,330
no points!
808
00:41:34,370 --> 00:41:37,890
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
809
00:41:39,450 --> 00:41:41,850
I don't believe it!
810
00:41:41,890 --> 00:41:43,570
Whoo-whoo-whoo!
811
00:41:43,610 --> 00:41:46,250
It does mean, though, that there
is a clear and outright winner,
812
00:41:46,290 --> 00:41:49,690
5 points ahead of the rest,
that is Mr Iain Stirling!
813
00:41:49,730 --> 00:41:52,890
Iain Stirling!
814
00:41:52,930 --> 00:41:54,930
Iain Stirling wins!
815
00:41:54,970 --> 00:41:56,610
Please go and bag the things
816
00:41:56,650 --> 00:41:58,930
that are going to
make your life better.
817
00:41:58,970 --> 00:42:00,170
Iain Stirling!
818
00:42:00,210 --> 00:42:02,690
{\an1}APPLAUSE
819
00:42:15,530 --> 00:42:17,610
It's trophy time.
820
00:42:17,650 --> 00:42:20,410
{\an1}WHOOPING AND CHEERING
821
00:42:20,450 --> 00:42:22,930
Little Alex Horne...
822
00:42:22,970 --> 00:42:24,290
..please...
823
00:42:24,330 --> 00:42:25,970
reveal the final results.
824
00:42:26,010 --> 00:42:27,930
HE WHISPERS:
I think you're beautiful.
825
00:42:31,770 --> 00:42:32,970
I am.
826
00:42:33,010 --> 00:42:34,410
{\an1}LAUGHTER
827
00:42:36,010 --> 00:42:38,890
Paul ended up on 136 points.
828
00:42:38,930 --> 00:42:41,810
In fifth place, Paul Sinha.
829
00:42:41,850 --> 00:42:44,290
Just above him, on 143 -
830
00:42:44,330 --> 00:42:46,290
7 points above - was Sian Gibson!
831
00:42:46,330 --> 00:42:48,410
{\an1}APPLAUSE
832
00:42:48,450 --> 00:42:51,650
And up we go again,
7 points higher, with 150,
833
00:42:51,690 --> 00:42:52,930
Joe Thomas.
834
00:42:52,970 --> 00:42:54,890
Thank you.
CHEERING
835
00:42:54,930 --> 00:42:57,410
And here we go, with 156 points,
836
00:42:57,450 --> 00:42:59,130
in second place...
837
00:42:59,170 --> 00:43:00,650
Mr Iain Stirling!
838
00:43:00,690 --> 00:43:03,250
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
839
00:43:03,290 --> 00:43:04,890
Which means...
840
00:43:04,930 --> 00:43:07,290
with 164 points,
841
00:43:07,330 --> 00:43:09,090
the winner was Lou Sanders!
842
00:43:09,130 --> 00:43:12,650
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
843
00:43:12,690 --> 00:43:15,290
There it is, your Series Eight
Taskmaster champion -
844
00:43:15,330 --> 00:43:17,250
Lou Sanders!
845
00:43:17,290 --> 00:43:19,970
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
846
00:43:20,010 --> 00:43:22,530
Thank you. Mwah. Thank you.
847
00:43:25,090 --> 00:43:28,410
Thank you, everyone, for watching,
thank you to our colossal cast,
848
00:43:28,450 --> 00:43:30,610
and the smallest hint of appreciation
849
00:43:30,650 --> 00:43:32,690
to little Alex Horne!
850
00:43:32,730 --> 00:43:34,290
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
851
00:43:34,330 --> 00:43:35,970
Mainly, though, well done again
852
00:43:36,010 --> 00:43:39,690
to our Series Eight champion,
Lou Sanders!
853
00:43:39,730 --> 00:43:42,690
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
854
00:43:42,730 --> 00:43:46,130
Who will be the next champion?
855
00:43:46,170 --> 00:43:48,730
See you next time to find out.
Bye-bye!
856
00:43:48,770 --> 00:43:51,290
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
857
00:43:55,090 --> 00:43:59,410
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